Title: When Dreams Come

Author: DocPaul

Email: DocPaul2002@yahoo.ca

Rating: R

Spoilers: After Destiny

Warning: None

Disclaimers: Yada, yada, yada, belong to people who don’t appreciate them. Mine...not.

Summary: After Michael pushed Maria away to follow his destiny to be a soldier, Maria find comfort in sleeping.

Author’s Notes:  Special thanks to Sheila who wanted to beta some of my earlier work while I had Margo tied up in The Killing Jar. Another thanks to Susan from the Roswell Desert Skies for helping to beta this story, and housing it. The story is based on a C. S. Lewis concept found in The Shaman Body.

WHEN DREAMS COME

There is a place between midnight and just before dawn, it is a time of twilight that is buffered in silence and cushioned in tranquility; it’s the place of dreams. This world transcends the waking world; in that, here all dreams are possible, all desires realized. Caught in the lull between stillness and storm, the calm trapped them inside with the promise of what could never be, where those promises are finally given a life. The shadow along the shore was chased away by the coming day and the walker of dreams return to the living world until that time they could return to that place of peace. This place is the center of balance, the center of the spinning top, still and at harmony while the real world spun out of control around it. In this shadowed realm, a man could live a second life. Take a path that was denied and change his fate, take the road that was denied by lack of choices.

~~~

Maria sat at the table by the window of the CrashDown Diner, waiting for Liz to be done so they could make a quick trip to the stores. She needed to find that special present for her mother’s birthday. Looking out the window, watching the day as it goes by, she avoided looking for him. He was working today, but it was not worth looking to see if he was there. Whether he was there or not, it didn’t matter. They were through. It was his decision, and nothing could change that. At first, it was because he didn’t trust himself not to hurt her, then came destiny.  But somehow, over the months he decided that destiny wasn’t something he could follow, but the call of his duty that dragged him back. The thing about duty and honor, is that, it traps and binds. Those who are caught in the storm didn’t always have a way out. They were trapped by what had to be. It didn’t matter what they felt, some things couldn’t be.

They sat at the booth towards the back of the diner, watching her. Isabel couldn’t help but watch Maria. They had been watching her for weeks and weeks. She and Max had created a friendship and surprisingly to Isabel’s amazement, she and Maria had also become really close. It was hard to imagine that Maria would want much to do with her given that her destiny was to be with Michael. But when it came down to destiny and her and Michael, it was something that could never come to pass. After a lifetime of being siblings, neither wanted to even contemplate it. It just wouldn’t take place.

Michael, now, was completely caught up into his past life's history of being a soldier, a warrior. It was the first real sense of direction he knew in his life. After always feeling adrift and lost without purpose, it was the first real progress he had ever made to settling down and finding focus. It was hard, for any of them, to dispute his right to learn about what he was born to do.  Somehow, it was decided that having ties to this world, to Maria, was forbidden. So, he walked away. And all he could see was that eventually he would need to leave this world and return to his own. The pain that he would feel and cause when that occurred was unthinkable, because he would leave her and everything behind. It was his duty.

Max worried as he watched. There was a sadness in Maria that she hid in a smile that never reached her eyes anymore. She looked tired and beaten.  And he blamed himself for her misery. Had he never saved Liz, Maria’s life would have never been entangled with Michael’s.  She would have never loved him and lost him to his fate. It was a bitter pill to watch, knowing that he would do the same thing again, even knowing of the consequences Maria would bear.

The problem wasn’t just Maria, it was Michael too. He also looked tired and beaten, but unlike Maria, he was able to hide it better. He covered his loneliness and missing her with sarcastic remarks, general indifference, and keeping his mind on his mission, the task of being a soldier. But Max had spent ten years observing and knowing Michael, he was hard to read, but not impossible. His breakup with Maria was not as easy as he pretended it to be. He was far more affected than he ever thought possible. He could think of mud for a thousand lifetimes and it couldn’t drown her out of his heart, or make him forget, or make him not wish for a different choice.

Michael watched her sitting up front by the window. Not once did she turn to seek him out, or even pretend to sneak a peek. When he first broke it off with her, she called all the time, refusing to accept that he would just walk away. All these months later, she had finally given up. It should have relieved him that she was finally going on with her life, getting back on track. But it was a hollow victory. Having her indifferent to him was harder than he ever imagined. He had hoped that if she forgot him and regained her life, that he could lay to rest or lose that sense of guilt that jaded his life every waking hour.

The desire to see her, or be with her wasn’t ever going to go away, so he didn’t even try burying it. Seeing her unhappy face, a sadness that he could never erase; the sadness he had created wounded him to the bone. It surprised him how much her indifference disturbed him. He was sleeping more and more, but he never really felt rested. Every free thought in every day was filled with thoughts of her, the memories of her touch, laughter, and smile. Michael didn’t even know that one person could fill up so much of another’s life, sliding in unaware until it was too late. He spent all day waiting for nighttime, to sleep, to find a place where he could be free of the pain.

“Maria, you ready to go?”

“Hey Liz. I’ve been sitting here wracking my brain trying to decide what I should buy her. This is just too ridiculous. Every year, I’ve endless ideas, and this year, it’s like my brain is full of mush.”

“Maybe you’re trying too hard. Let’s go look around and maybe you’ll find inspiration.”

“Best thought of the day, that’s why we work so well together. I could drown in my own thoughts and you pull me out. For that, I’m gonna give you a detailed play by play of my latest conquest.”

“Maria, no. Not another one?”

“You bet. I’m like the number one sought after unattached junior in our class. A senior asked me out today. It was sweet, and yet pathetic at the same time. He kept flexing his muscles. His raging pecs were giving me heart palpitations.”  Maria got up and grabbed her bag leading Liz out of the CrashDown. “I’m telling you Liz, ever since I dated Michael Guerin and broke up with him, I’ve become a hot commodity. It’s, either, because of Michael’s bad boy image, it’s assumed that we were very involved, and I do mean very, or it’s because I’ve this huge sign on me that states, “look at me, I’m an usable product." I just can’t decide.”

“Maybe, Maria, these guys genuinely want to get to know you, want to date you?” Maria snorted and parked the car. Shopping is always a good idea.

“More likely they can’t imagine that I didn’t sleep with Michael, and so now I’m considered a sure thing.” Maria and Liz walked into the mall pausing to look at a storefront. “It could be the skirt length.”

“What is with the ever rising hemline?”

 “Well, partially it’s because I like the new sexier looks that are out there right now and if I can look good in it, then I’m gonna enjoy it, until I can’t. But mostly, my hemline is a reflection of my inner depression. The more depressed I become, the shorter my skirt gets.” Maria stopped at a kiosk and bought an orange juice waiting for Liz to get hers. “If I get any more down in the dumps I’ll be arrested for indecent exposure.”

“I been wanting to talk to you about that, Maria.”

“About what?”

“Your depression. It seems to be getting worse and worse. I know that the break up with Michael was hard, but I’m worried about you. You seem so tired lately, and you go home and straight to bed more and more. I’m worried because no matter how much you sleep, you’re still tired. And despite all the offers for dates, you remain single.”

“I know. Maybe I need more vitamin C. I was gonna alter my B complexes and add in extra St. John’s Wort.”

“Maybe you should talk to your mom about it or see if you can get some help?”

“Thanks babe, I know you’re concerned, but really am I coping any less than the rest of you? Alex has immersed himself into his band to avoid Isabel and that situation. And don’t tell me that his new lead singer hanging all over him isn’t some coping mechanism. Isabel is so out of it that she’s confusing even Max. Max is a walking zombie just one step away from falling apart. Michael is something we can just skip over since there aren’t enough hours in the day to go over all his problems, and then there’s you.”

“What about me?”

“Liz, come on. You’ve spent so many hours avoiding Max Evans that you’ve got that hunted look about you. You answer your phone with a question in your voice, and despite telling him that you no longer want to date, you’ve yet to start dating anyone else.” Maria looked over at Liz over her juice. “True or false?”

“True, but I’m just not ready to start dating.” Maria stopped looking at the sweaters and turned to lean against the display counter.

“So it’s okay for you to decide that you aren’t ready to start dating after Max, but I’m suppose to dust off my broken, mangled, and badly trampled heart and then throw myself into a new relationship.  Thus forgetting Michael Guerin like he's a really long bad nightmare with strange hair?”

“That’s not what I meant. I, umm, well what I mean is that you and Michael, were...you know, never really a good idea.” Liz saw Maria’s eyes darken in anger. “I mean you were great together, but there was so much baggage on his part and I didn’t like seeing you so unhappy.”

“Who’s happy Liz? Name someone, anyone. I get up everyday, I get dress and I do my endless life like veal in a pen, waiting to be slaughtered. The only truth I really believe in is that happiness is something not meant for me. I know that you can’t understand this, or maybe even believe it, but he was the one for me.”

Maria took the necklace she liked to the counter to pay for it. Her mom was going to love this new chunky African style necklace with silver and turquoise. “I think about him everyday, and I know that he spoiled me for anyone else, because despite the bad attitude, indifference, and bad hair, all I want is him. Now I’m hoping that if enough time goes by, and when we finally graduate, I can find someplace far away from him, and I can finally find some peace. And maybe, and I do mean maybe, I’ll recover enough to find someone to share my life with in, oh I don’t know ten years from now or something.” Maria turned and walks away down the mall without looking back.

“Maria?” Liz watched Maria continue down the mall and hastened to follow her. Damn.

~~~

Maria was brushing her hair when she heard the tapping on her window. It was going to be a really, nice day and this was one of the few Saturdays that she was not working. Taking her time getting up this morning and enjoying a long morning of personal grooming, the tap was an intrusion. It had to be him. Going to the window, she opened it and gave him a glare.

“What do you want?”

“Someone is in a pissy mood. What’s wrong Blondie? Want to take me down?” Maria’s interested peaked.

“What do you’ve got in mind, soldier boy?”

“Come out, come out and play. You’ll see.” Maria reached through the window and pushed him away with a hand to his face, closed the window and then got dressed. When she came out the kitchen door, he grabbed her hand and practically dragged her off on a walk.

“Where are we going and what are we doing?”

“I just thought that you’d like to knock the stuffing out of me.” Michael smiled at her and passed over a deluxe model water cannon to her.

“No way.”

“Defend yourself DeLuca, or it’ll be a wet day in Roswell.”

A stream of water caught her full on the chest, splashing off her face. With a cry on indignation, she tracked him down, squirting him full upside his head, and the fight raged on. In the park, with the sunlight streaming down, campaigns of war were fought, battle ensued and new allies and soldiers in the form of small children joined in. Maria’s forces held firm, but Michael’s army started a water brigade to refuel. Among the screaming and laughter, other park goers and parents of the child involved in the greatest water battle ever waged in Roswell’s history could only watch on with laughter and smiles. Tired and worn, the soldiers trudged to an ice cream kiosk to refuel lost energy stores. Here soldiers from both camps laid down their weapons and a happy truce was called in fits of fats and sugars.

Lying in the park with their backs up against a tree, they finished their cones, both were still soaking wet. On either side of them were their weapons just in case the truce was lost. Taking Maria’s hand holding her cone, Michael reached down and stole a lick of her ice cream.

“Hey, you’ve got your own.”

“You were right, that was a great combination of flavors. Next time I’ll have to consider your advice. Here you want a lick of mine in payment?”

“No way. You put Tabasco on yours.” Maria looked at him suspiciously.

Of course, he knew that she wouldn’t take up his offer since he doused his cone in the red fire sauce. Damn, he wins too many skirmishes already. Reaching over and taking his hand, almost laughing at his surprise, she took a large bite out of his cone. Not a smart move, it was really, really hot. Trying to keep the fire under control and stopping herself from letting him see how hot the sauce was, Maria smiled.

“Changed my mind. It’s not too bad with the sauce, but it could’ve used more.” Turning away from him to look across the park Maria made a face and quickly ate more of her ice cream, trying to douse the burning fire in her mouth. Michael just watched her with admiration on his face. She never ceased to surprise and delight him. Michael sat back and closed his eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun, the gentle breeze, the sound of the children playing in the park, and mostly the silent companionship of Maria sitting at his side. It was a good day.

~~~

“Maria? Honey, you need to wake up or you’ll be late to school.” Amy paused in the doorway. Ever since finding Michael Guerin in Maria’s bed, one morning months ago, she had learned to be more cautions when entering Maria’s room. Watching her unresponsive daughter with concern, Amy tried again. “Maria?”

Moving to her bedside, Amy reached down and felt Maria’s head. She was hot. Frowning in concern, Amy went to get a thermometer. It was a low-grade fever, but a fever nonetheless. Looking at her sleeping child, she was concerned by the thin body and the dark rings under her eyes, apparent even in her sleep. Covering her up and deciding to let her rest, Amy went to make some chicken soup.

Maria came out of sleep to the sound of her phone ringing. Looking at the clock and seeing the time. 6:30 am, who calls at that time? It’s insane. Maria grabbed the phone, before it woke her mother.

“Hello?” Maria was shocked at how hoarse her voice sounded...how dry.

“Maria?”

“Liz. Liz, what’s it? Has something happened?” Her voice groggy and husky.

“No, I was just calling to see how you were feeling. I picked up your assignments, but I wanted to call before coming over.” Maria looked at the phone in confusion.

“Umm, Liz it’s like 6:30 in the morning. Don’t you think you could’ve called me a little later in the day?” Maria sat up more aware and confused. “Wait, what assignments?”

“Maria, it’s not 6:30 in the morning. It’s 6:30 in the evening. You were sick at home all day. You mom called me this morning and asked me to get your homework because you were sick.”

Maria looked at her clock again. These Mickey Mouse windup clocks don’t distinguish between am and pm time. Looking around her room, she noticed that her heavy curtains had been drawn across the window. She never closed them because they made her room too dark. Getting up, Maria walked over and opened the curtains. It was still light outside.

“Liz? Sorry. I hadn’t realized. Your call just woke me. I’m awake now, if you want to bring that stuff over.”

“Great. Give me a good half and hour. I’ve to finish some stuff for my dad first.”

“Okay. I’ll see you when I see you.” Maria hung up the phone and looked at it. She went to bed early last night because she felt so tired. That means that she had slept for over twenty hours. Hearing her door open she looked up to see her mom.

“Hi mom.”

“Maria. Thank God you’re finally awake. I’ve been worrying all day about taking you to the doctor. Your fever wasn’t life threatening or anything, but I couldn’t rouse you.” Amy still looked at her daughter in concern. She still looked tired and the dark rings were even more prominent. “You want some food? I made you some chicken soup, Grandma DeLuca’s recipe.”

“Sure mom that would be great. I’m just gonna go take a quick bath and I’ll come into the kitchen.” Maria moved around the room gathering her bath stuff. “Liz will be over in the next half an hour with my homework assignments. I guess I can spend the rest of the evening working on that.” Maria kissed her mother’s cheek on her way to the bathroom.

Amy heard the bath running. Maria looked tired still, but she seemed in good spirits. Everything seemed so hard lately. Maria seemed so depressed, almost resigned and Amy was considering sending her to a therapist. Having Michael Guerin out of her daughter’s life was both a double edge sword. She was happy to have her daughter not hanging around a young man with his own apartment and a disregard for authority. But, she also didn’t like to see her daughter so obviously broken hearted without him either. Amy was of two minds over the relationship, Maria’s depression was becoming a problem.

Stirring the soup and cutting fresh bread, Amy sat the table for dinner. Adding another setting just in case Liz wanted to join them, Amy started to make a sunflower salad when the knock on the kitchen door was heard. That had to be Liz. Amy looked at the clock in surprise that so much time had passed. Maria still hadn’t come into the kitchen.

“Hi Liz.”

“Hi Ms. DeLuca. I just wanted to drop of Maria’s homework. Is she around?”

“Sure, come on in. She was taking a bath. I’m surprised she’s not done yet. Let’s go find her.” Amy walked down the hall with Liz on her heels. “You want to stay for dinner? We’re having chicken soup.”

“Not Grandma DeLuca’s chicken soup?” Amy nodded her head in acknowledgement.

“Absolutely, I’d never pass up on that soup. It’s a wonder of the modern world. It cures everything from hangnails to social disorders.” Amy laughed, but stopped in confusion at Maria’s empty room. Turning she went to the bathroom door and knocked.

“Maria? Honey? Liz is here. Are you about ready to get out?” Amy waited, but she heard no sounds.

Looking at Liz with concern, Amy turned the bathroom door’s knob. The bathroom was full of stream and warm. Maria had lit some candles and her favorite bath salts made the room smell wonderful. Amy looked at the bath and screamed. Maria was under the water, drowned. Both her and Liz rushed forward to pull Maria’s unresponsive body from the water. Putting her on the floor, Amy started CPR.

“Liz, call 411, now!”

Liz turned and ran from the room. Her heart was pounding and it felt like it was lodged in her throat. Picking up the phone, trying to be calm, she couldn’t stop the tears. They collected in her throat so that she could hardly talk to the operator.  Running back to the bathroom, Liz found Amy still desperately trying to revive Maria. Suddenly Maria’s body had a spasmodic jerk and she turned to her side and choked up the water from her lungs. Liz turned in relief to run back into Maria’s room grabbing a robe to cover her. She could hear the emergency vehicles coming closer. Handing Amy the robe, she ran outside to wait for the EMT.

~~~

“Ms. DeLuca?” Amy looked up at the young doctor standing at the door of the waiting room in the ER.

“Yes? My daughter is…”

“She’s fine. I checked her over and there seems to be no real damage. I do need to ask you some questions.” He paused to look at the large group of young people sitting with his patient’s mother.

“I’m transferring her to a ward for overnight observation. I’m worried about her developing pneumonia so I’m going to prescribe her 24 hours worth of IV antibiotics. Her chest X-ray is showing some wetness, so this will help prevent complications.” The doctor paused and looked a little embarrassed. Looking at the other people in the room, Liz had called everyone and they had all came, even Michael, who looked horrible. He was drawn and tired looking. Liz swore that she saw his hands shaking. “Can you tell me how this happened?”

“I’m not sure. Maria stayed home today for a slight fever and she was so tired that I can barely wake her. She woke over an hour ago and wanted to take a quick bath before eating dinner.” Amy gestured towards Liz. “Liz was on her way over, and when Maria hadn’t come into the kitchen, we went to find her.”

Amy paused to draw in a deep breath as tears gathered in her eyes and her stomach felt hollow. “That’s when we found her in the bath under the water. She appeared to be asleep. We pulled her out of the water and started CPR, reviving her just before the EMT arrived.”

“Has she been depressed or having any problems lately? Any changes in family life or at home?”

“Well she just ended relationship with a young man.” Amy avoided looking in Michael’s direction. “But mostly she seemed really tired lately, nothing grossly depressed. I made her chicken soup, her favorite.” The doctor patted her hand and smiled kindly.

“I’m sorry I had to ask. It’s just that she has no signs of having slipped and hitting her head. There’re no drugs in her system, or any indication that she was trying to take her life.” The doctor looked up at the group’s collective gasp. He looked at the young man standing in the back corner in concern. He looked like he was on the verge of collapse himself.

“More than likely she had just fallen back to sleep while in the bath and slipped under the water. She’s sleeping right now, so I’m going to have the Psychology department send a consultant to see her in the morning, if that is okay? We really need to do this legally before we can release her. Excessive sleeping is a sign of depression, so maybe they can shed some light on the situation.”

The group looked at each other in guilt. They had all been worrying over Maria lately, and in truth, over both Michael and Maria. But they had ignored the signs of depression hoping that things would resolve themselves.

“Can I see her now?”

“Of course. I’ll have the nurse come and get you in a few moments.”

The doctor left to consult with the nursing staff and make sure that his patient was picked up by in-house services. Amy left the rest in the waiting room when the nurse came to take her to see Maria.

“Liz? Are you okay?” Liz looked over at Alex and the rest, and just as suddenly, she threw herself into Alex’s arms and started crying deep wracking sobs. He held her close looking over her shoulder at a devastated Max Evans. Not too long ago Liz would have went to Max for comfort, but everything changed this summer, and none of them had come back to normal. “Shush, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. She’s alive.”

“I thought she was dead. My God, she was dead.” Liz hid her face against Alex’s chest. “I was so afraid that we lost her. I was so sorry for what I said about her relationship with Michael. I implied that she should just get over it since it wasn’t all that important. I didn’t know that she was that wounded. I didn’t know.”

“Liz, listen to me. This wasn’t suicide. Maria would never do that. She loves life too much. She would have to be saving another to willingly end her own life. This was an accident. We all know how tired she has been. The water must have lulled her back to sleep.”

“I know. I was just afraid, afraid that I missed something.”

“It’ll be okay.”

~~~

He stood in the dark watching her sleep. Her breathing was slightly ragged. But she looked peaceful. There were dark rings still under her eyes, but she was alive and breathing. Moving through the dark room, he sat on her bed and reached down to gently kiss her lips. They were warm and alive breathing his name in a whisper. Michael rested his head against her for a moment thanking God for Amy DeLuca and Liz, for them bringing Maria back. He couldn’t even think of the horror of her dying. Slowly tracing the lines of her face, he couldn’t look at her enough, or touch her enough. She was so small and so far away. Pulling her into his arms while she slept he buried his face in her hair and let his tears fall. The tremors in his body wouldn’t stop. He stayed with her as long as he could until he had to leave her when the morning staff began their rounds.

~~~

Over the next two weeks, Maria was out of the hospital with little to no ill effects to the event. She was still seeing a counselor for possible depression problems. Maria denied feeling depressed. Her only complaint was just feeling the need to sleep. What she wasn’t admitting to was that it wasn’t the need to sleep that drew her as much as the desire to sleep. Amy DeLuca had hardly left home or Maria’s side since the near drowning. She knew her mother needed to go on a buying trip and a trade market fair, but Amy was too afraid.

“Mom, how about if I stay with Liz? The Parker’s will keep an eye on me, and I promise, no baths,” Maria kissed her mother on the head, “showers only.”

“Maria, I can’t just leave you like this. You fell asleep four times during class this week. You stopped working at the CrashDown and go to bed right after dinner. I’m worried, sweetie. I can’t believe that idiot counselor doesn’t think you’re suffering depression. How can you explain your tiredness?”

“Narcolepsy?” Maria saw the look on her mother’s face and regretted her flip attitude. “Mom, it’s getting better. I think it’s getting better. I’m doing nothing but worrying that I’m destroying your life if you keep putting your business and life on hold watching over me. It wasn’t suicide, mom. It was a stupid accident. It’s not gonna happen again.” Maria went over and kissed her mother, finishing her milk, she said goodnight and quickly went to bed. It was sad how much she looked forward to sleeping everyday.

~~~

He hurried around his apartment making sure everything looked perfect. Lighting candles and putting on classical music,  set on low. Even the bathroom had been scrubbed clean. It took him months to get back into her life, from water fights, long walk, and midnight drives out to the desert on the back of his bike. Michael looked in the mirror, checking his hair. Give it up Guerin. The stuff is out of control. Damn, he should have gotten a haircut. Hurrying into the kitchen, he checked dinner for the thousandth time that evening. Taking salad from the refrigerator, he almost dropped it when the knock came at his door. Saving the salad and putting it on the counter, he went to the door before she changed her mind. Opening it, his heart stopped from just looking at her. She was so incredibly beautiful.

“Hi. Can I come in?” Maria smiled at him trying to get him to stop staring at her. Michael cleared his throat and smiled.

“Of course. Let me take that.” Maria handed over her jacket. She thought that they had gotten over their silence around each other a long time ago.

Over the last few months, they had been inseparable. They were enjoying each others company so much that now they worked the same shifts, went to the movies, and about a month ago, Michael instigated the video night. At first, they fought over what to watch, but finally they created a system. Last week they watch An Affair to Remember, when it was Maria’s turn to pick. Michael was uncomfortable during most of the show. He would’ve preferred something with more action and blowing up things, but a compromise isn’t a compromise if you don’t give the other person a turn.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Maria wiped her nose and eyes again with what was left of her thousandth tissue. She smiled at him when he handed her another tissue and pulled her close, kissing her temple. “Thank you. It’s just so sad.”

“I don’t get it. If it’s so sad, then why watch it?”

“Because it’s wonderful and beautiful. Sure, watching navy seals rescue the crew of a nuclear submarine is interesting, but this touches the heart.”

“I don’t know, those navy seals were pretty intense.” Maria reached over and pinched him. Michael laughed and grabbed her closer to tickle her and put raspberries on her neck.

Maria startled out of her memories when he put his hand on her back and looked at her with a question in his eyes. Smiling she reached up and kissed him gently on the mouth, pulling back, but keeping eye contact she reached up behind his neck and pulled him into an even deeper kiss.   Both breathing hard when they finally pulled apart again. Maria sniffed the air.

“Michael? Is something burning?”

“No way.” Michael rushed past her into the kitchen to save the dinner he worked all day on from burning.

“Spill it.” Maria looked over at him in the candlelight. He was too silent.

“What?”

“Michael, the dinner that you spent so much time on? It was wonderful and you’re wonderful. All the attention, and yet you’ve hardly said two words to me through dinner, and if you stare anymore I’ll begin to develop holes. And more than likely leak some of your fine meal all over the place.” Maria put down her fork and took his hands, surprised at the clamminess and fine tremors that ran through them.

“Baby, you’re sick.” Maria was out of her seat going to him. Putting her hand to his head, she started to worry. He felt slightly warm. Worrying about him becoming sick like the last time, she was surprised when he stood and pulled her into the living room to sit with him on the sofa.

“I’m fine. I was just trying to work up the nerve to ask you something, a sort of favor.”

“Ask. I love doing favors for you.” Maria waited patiently. His answer was so low that she couldn’t hear it at first. He repeated it a little louder, but she must have misheard.

“Pardon me? Would you please repeat that?”

“Love me forever, marry me.” Michael barely got the words out of his mouth before he found himself pushed backwards on the sofa with Maria devouring his mouth with hers. Her hands were everywhere pulling at his clothes while he hastily removed hers. Later he lay on the sofa with her on top of him resting, her hand still moving over his chest. He couldn’t stop playing with her hair.

“Maria?”

“Hmmm?”

“Was that a yes?” Looking up at him and his adorable face, Maria couldn’t help but laugh. Kissing him again, she sat up straddling his hips leaning forward to take his head between her hands and redirect his gaze from her naked breast, she stared him straight in the eyes.

“Yes.”

~~~

Liz looked over to her bed for the third time in an hour. Maria had fallen asleep three hours ago. She was staying with the Parker’s while her mother was gone, and in the last three days, Liz finally understood Amy's concern. Since Maria had come to stay with them, she literally slept eighteen-hour days. This evening they went into Liz’s room to work on homework when suddenly Maria was fast asleep.

Looking at the clock, Liz was wondering if she should call someone, maybe her mom to see if they should take Maria to the doctor, or at the very least call Maria’s mom. Maria's sleep looked so peaceful, so happy. There was a gentle smile on her mouth and she was curled up in a ball. Going over to her, Liz felt her head, but it didn’t feel hot. Taking a breath, she tried to wake Maria, but nothing happened. Sitting down next to her best friend, Liz decided to give her another hour before getting really concerned.

~~~

“Michael, stop pacing. You’re gonna wear out the carpet.” Michael turned to the door when it opened. Ignoring Max, he rushed over to Alex wearing a tux.

“Maria, is she okay? Are they here?”

“Calm down, man. She’s fine. They just arrived and the show should start in about ten minutes.” Alex smiled as the color drained from Michael’s face. “She looks beautiful, Guerin. You’re a lucky man.”

Max came behind his best friend and put a hand on his shoulder in comfort. “Just try to stay calm, everything will be okay.”

“I just want to make her happy. I’ll never forgive myself if I mess this up. I’m gonna be sick.” Both Max and Alex jumped when the door suddenly opened. It was Philip Evans.

“Michael, it’s time.” Taking a deep breath, Michael walked outside to take his place at the front of the church. Today was his wedding day, and standing next to his best friends Max and Alex. He watched Liz and then Isabel walk down the aisle until finally he saw her.

Jim Valenti was walking her down the aisle, keeping her hand in the crook of his arm. Suddenly all the fears and anxiety disappeared as soon as his eyes met hers.  He could see the gentle understanding in them. She was the angel of his dreams, and a thousand lifetimes later, nothing would ever be more sacred to his heart than the image of her walking down the aisle to join with him in front of all their families and friends. This was where he belonged, where he wanted to be, at her side forever.

He smiled at her as she walked towards him and her step became lighter and more full of life. Months after he proposed to her, he was teasing her about the night he gave her the ring. She was so embarrassed when her mother asked what the ring looked like over the phone and Maria couldn’t say. She could describe in great detail the color of Michael’s eyes, the touch of his hand, and the taste of his mouth from when they kissed, but she had forgotten to look at the ring. Michael laughingly told his soon to be mother-in-law that it probably be the only time someone valued his looks over a diamond. And watching her walk towards him left a deep hollow feeling inside so vast that he could hardly breathe. It was the feeling of happiness.

It was a landmark day in Roswell, the marriage of Maria DeLuca to Michael Guerin. Some would never see how it could’ve happened, how two polar opposites could find a common ground, and yet they did. And for every person in attendance and for all those who watched them for years later, one truth was agreed upon, that together, they were perfect.

~~~

“Hello?”

“Max? It’s Liz. I need your help.” Liz paused at the silence at the other end of the phone. Looking down at the sleeping Maria, Liz took a breath to continue. “It’s Maria. She’s asleep in my room and I can’t wake her.”

“We’ll be right over.” Liz put the phone back into the cradle. She would worry about her relationship with Max later; right now the silence and dead calmness of Maria’s posture was worrying her. Her parents were out for the evening and Liz was at a loss. The memory of Maria almost drowning was still too vivid in her mind. Taking a deep breath Liz kept repeating to herself that everything would be okay.

~~~

In the dark, he laid back resting, liking the lethargic feeling his body always got after making love. Maria was draped across his body in a boneless sprawl. Her reaction to marathon sex and to him in general was pretty damn rewarding. She made him feel like a god with her reactions to everything he did, and after six months of marriage, they were getting the physical parts of their relationship into being a real honed machine. He knew every inch of her body, her every sound, all the things that made her breath catch in her throat. After six months, he thought nights likes these would have tapered off, or at least become less severe in the passion. He thanked God every day that he had been wrong. Instead of tapering off, it was becoming more and more intense, like a joining. It was as if when they made love that her body was a part of his body and elementally their bodies spoke to each other, craved each other. Running his hand over her naked back, he could feel the tingle under his palm in reaction. It was like singing in his blood, but he tried to temper his response since they had a busy day tomorrow and he wanted her to rest.

Suddenly she looked up from where she was resting against him. In the soft glow of their bedroom, his eyes made contact with hers and he groaned out loud. Rest later. She moved quickly straddling him and pinning his arms against the bed, moving her body over his suggestively. His eyes slowly closed to slits as he watched her mouth lower to his nipple, he pulled one hand away from the bed and put it behind her head to hold her firmly against his chest, so good.

Later after exhaustion finally released them from the passion, he was molded to her body feeling the peaceful lull of sleep claiming him. She was already silent and almost fast asleep when that niggling sound that had bothered him for the past few weeks started again.

“Honey, you’re humming again.” Maria woke herself enough to frown over at him before closing her eyes again and heading back into sleep.

“No I’m not. It’s your imagination.” He watched her fall back to sleep, but she was right. She wasn’t humming. He tried to ignore the sound, but it was a low-key hum, almost like a soft purr from a content cat.

“Maria? Don’t you…” Maria reached up and pulled his head to her, kissing his mouth gently and then directing his head to her breasts pulling his mouth to feed. He automatically began to suckle on her, enjoying a sort of fullness to her breast that had only just started to develop. He loved the feeling of being nurtured by her. Resting his head against her, he felt her hand move soothingly down over his back.

“Shush, rest. You’ll get use to it.” Michael let her gentle him into sleep.

Michael sat reading the morning paper and drinking coffee when Maria finally made an appearance. Usually she was the first one up and ready in the morning, so it was unusual to see her moving so slow. Looking up the first thing he noticed was her lack of color and the fact that she was weaving on her feet. Hurrying to her side, he barely caught her before her knee buckled.

“Maria!” He put his hand to her forehead. It was sweaty and clammy to the touch and her moans were worrying him. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Maria looked up at him in surprise. Hello, Mr. Obvious man. Am I sick? Maria buried her head against the crook of his neck until it was just too much. Pulling away from him she looked him in the eye and begged him for help. “Bathroom.”

Michael got her to the bathroom before she lost her stomach. Taking a damp washcloth he wiped her face gently and placed a soothing one behind her head. His own stomach was beginning to feel queasy and unsettled. Maybe they ate something and had been food poisoned like four months ago when his mother-in-law tried a new recipe on them and put them both down for three days. Since he was never sick that time really stood out in his mind.

This illness had come on quick because he woke feeling very hungry for his wife and they had made love earlier that morning, and it was a different hunger that inspired him to get up before her, but this unrelenting nausea was his undoing and hers. Finally, getting his feet beneath him, he gathered her up and headed for the door. They couldn’t stay on the bathroom floor forever.

~~~

“Pregnant?” Michael quickly sat down in the chair next to Maria where she was laying on the doctor’s examination table. His heart sped up and he could feel a lump in his throat. Pregnant?  He was going to be a father. Looking at Maria, he saw the intense look in her eyes, the happiness and understanding of what this meant to him. Reaching over, ignoring the doctor, he kissed his wife while his hand came to rest on her still flat abdomen housing his unborn child. Humming, concentrating on the kiss and the taste of Maria, he cleared his mind.  He could feel the resonating humming, almost a vibration coming from Maria’s womb.

“Pregnant?”

Maria laughed in delight at his dumbfounded look, bringing his head close to her, and she laughingly whispered in his ear, “pregnant.” Yes, Michael, there’s a Santa Claus.

The morning sickness was almost the end of both of them. It was worse than being left adrift on a violent sea without ever finding your sea legs. The constant rocking and rolling motion of his stomach reacted in violent sympathy with Maria’s. In the past, he loved how their bodies and minds had connected in a pathway of mutual joining, where he could feel her thoughts, emotions, and reactions. But suddenly he wasn’t sure he was enjoying sharing her pregnancy. The nausea, the cravings, and the backaches were the hardest. Luckily there were other things to balance the bad stuff. The most pleasurable was the increased sexuality, sensitivity, and just feeling really turned on. They seemed unable to stop the overwhelming need for sex, lots of sex. Their normal sex life was rather robust, but they were setting new records. Maria thought it was part of the joining, a way to connect to the baby with both of their bodies, minds, and souls being available, and a sort of parental imprinting.

At the doctor’s office, Maria and Michael waited a patiently until they were called. It was a hard thing for them worrying about what the baby was going to look like, how alien it’s blood would be, and even if they were going to need to switch doctors soon. Today was an ultrasound day, so they were both kind of excited to see their child, but also apprehensive in case something was wrong. The farther along the pregnancy, the more obvious differences would become. They had great hope that the baby would be as human in appearance as they were. Maria’s mom told them to not worry about the baby’s blood, that if it became a problem they could claim a strange blood abnormality in Maria’s father’s family, and Jim would provide Michael with blood for his blood test.

“Maria, you know the drill. The gel is a little cold. Let’s see if we can get a nice picture for you. I’m making both a video tape and pull some still pictures for your collection.”

The ultrasound technician, Cheryl looked over at Michael with a smile. He always seemed so nervous whenever they did the ultrasounds and today wasn’t any different. It was hard for some first time fathers since the ultrasound was one of the first indications of birth defects. “You doing okay Michael?”

Michael nodded his acknowledgement, but remained distracted. Maria pregnant stomach was so incredibly beautiful. He loved running his hands over the taunt skin, and put lotion on her, paint her toenails because she couldn’t reach her feet anymore, and last night he shaved her legs. It amazed him the ritual she had for personal grooming. The shaving was okay, but the lotion afterwards. He must remember to keep that ritual after they have the baby. Maria was so appreciative. When she mentioned bikini wax though, he had to leave the room in terror. He would find some way to get even for the snickering he heard as he fled the room.

“There we are. Let’s take some measurements real quick. I want to measure a long bone, the cranium, and I need a clear shot of the placenta.” The technician kept freezing the frame and marking points on the screen to confirm the baby’s growth. “This looks good, real good. See the hand there? The fingers are developed nicely and the heartbeat is strong. The spine looks nicely developed and closed. I was concerned because the heartbeat has been fast and muffled lately when we used the Doppler.”

Looking up at the young couple, she smiled. “Do you want to know the sex?”

“Can you tell already?”

“Yes, we could’ve told you last time, but the baby was being uncooperative and not moving into position. So, the sex? Do you want to know?” Maria looked over at Michael and smiled. “Yes, I think we do, very much so.” Michael sent her a look of thanks.

“You have a son.” Maria felt Michael’s hand tighten on her hand that he was holding. She knew that he had wanted a girl, but the next day he would want a boy, and it would flip again and again. It was like he was reading things about his child, but it was confusing. Basically, he wanted his child regardless of the sex, but moving back and forth was driving him crazy. He would sit reading parenting books and try to plan what he would need to do if the baby was a girl, or if it was a boy. So now he knew, and he could read more specifically.

“Oh, that’s strange.” Both Maria and Michael quickly broke their eye contact and turned to Cheryl’s confused look. Fear was rising in both of them, just as quickly as happiness had mere moments ago.

“What? What’s it? Is something wrong with the baby?”

“No, everything is fine. I just need to check something out. Maria, I need you to move a little to your side. If you could face Michael a little that would be good.”

Cheryl added more gel and moved the ultrasound monitor. “Damn, stubborn, little guy. Come on, move to the side, move towards daddy. Michael could you put your hands on Maria’s tummy and give it a nice massage like in Lamaze?” Michael quickly did as asked never taking his eyes from the monitor and his unborn son. He could feel Maria’s increasing anxiety and tried to calm her with his touch.

“There she is.” Cheryl smiled in triumph.

“What? She?” Michael moved closer to the monitor trying to see and discern the different forms. They were having two babies?

“Twins. It would appear that you’re having twins, a boy and a girl.” Cheryl looked up to see them kissing passionately with Michael’s hand still rubbing Maria stomach. “I’ll take measurements in a moment. I need to go get the doctor. It would appear that your little boy was protecting his sister by hiding her behind him.”

They hardly noticed her leaving the room. Maria moved her hand up to frame Michael’s face. No wonder he was so confused over the baby’s sex, or should she say babies. Twins? Maria couldn’t stop smiling. Wait until she told her mother. Heck, wait until she told Liz.

Max entered the CrashDown and saw Michael woofing down huge amounts of food. It wasn’t a pretty sight. He literally had the table covered in dishes, dowsing the food in Tabasco, and Max almost gagged when he watched Michael dip Tabasco coated French fries into his milkshake.

“That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Tell me about it. Most days I just ignore what I’m eating and just enjoy the sensation. It’s best to just approach this with some sanity saving technique. I just remember I’m feeding my future.”

Max just laughed as he sat opposite Michael and picked up a fry. It was the look of outrage that made him burst out laughing. Since Maria’s pregnancy, both she and Michael were fast becoming gluttons. They guarded their food like misers, and Michael would be acting all normal and suddenly have to eat. He was reacting to Maria’s cravings. The most amazing thing was that he wasn’t putting on weight. Actually, he looked slimmer.

“I can’t figure it out. Why aren’t you getting fat from all the food you’ve been eating?” Michael paused between bites, his eyes narrowing as he checked out Maxwell. Left front pocket, the man needed a fire lit under him.

“I’ve a theory, because even Maria is barely gaining weight and she’s pregnant. She has the beautiful little basketball thing going, but the rest of her is lean, except for the very appreciable increased cleavage. God I love her breasts like this.”

“Michael? Michael, you have a theory?” Michael stopped lamenting over the new fullness to his wife’s physique and smiled a lopsided grin. He wasn’t going to last long. He needed to go find Maria soon.

“Yeah, I think the food is to combat the increased sexual appetite. I researched that it takes over sixty percent of a man’s energy stores to achieve an orgasm and ejaculation, and it’s suppose to be unheard of to achieve multiple orgasms, day after day, over and over again. So in a sense I’m beating the norm. I think it’s pulling my reserves, basically I’m working at a negative energy balance, so the increased food is an attempt to equalize things.”

“Do I want to know this?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, and why do I need to know this information about your sex life?”

“What’s in your upper left hand pocket, Maxwell?” Michael paused from his feeding to watch Max squirm uncomfortable in his seat. “Don’t you think it’s time to take the plunge and just ask her? You been carrying that ring for at least two weeks.”

“How did you know?”

“That you been carrying an engagement ring for Liz in your pocket? I recognized the signs. I also recognize her looks of frustration. She knows you’re gonna ask her, but she doesn’t know when. Maria recommended that she give up on you, and just ask you to marry her instead.”

“What?”

“Well, a woman can only wait so long. So if you’re waiting for that perfect moment? I suggest you create it fast before the love of your life takes control of the situation.”

“So this theory you’re spouting is…”

“Is forewarning that the more physical and closer you get to your wife, the more joined you are. I don’t know about your sex life, and feel free to spare me the details. But, since Maria and I are the first married, the first to become sexually active, and the first to make babies, I’m assuming a lot here. My assumption is that this joining is part of the bond that our special physiology makes with theirs. So I’m telling you to increase your calorie intake because if your plan is to get married and start making children then you’ll need all the energy you can find.”

“Thanks for the heads up. I think.” Max waited until Michael was distracted and stole another fry. “So what’s up? You called me, remember?”

“Sure, sure. I was just taking a break for a quick snack. I would’ve met you at home, but Maria is starting to gross me out.”

“Tabasco?”

“Yeah, like on everything, and in unheard of large quantities. It’s like nothing has enough flavor or something and her appetites are outrageous. Last night she actually poured some of the stuff on me. It burned like the dickens, but surprisingly, I really dug it. I think I’ll be disappointed if she stops liking Tabasco after this pregnancy. I swear, she’s drinking the stuff straight. The kids are gonna be fierce.”

“Whoa, did you say kids?” Michael smirked and pulled an ultrasound picture out of his top pocket and passed it to Max. He wasn’t going to confess to watching the ultrasound tape over and over, too.

“Twins, a boy and a girl.” Michael smiled at Max’s shocked look, feeling very pleased with himself.

“Anyway, I was hoping that you’d help me go pick up the extra baby crib and put it together. We already rearranged the babies’ room to accommodate the extra bed.”

“Twins.” Max just shook his head in amazement. Michael and Maria getting married straight out of High School and moving into the DeLuca house was one thing, especially after Amy married Jim Valenti and moved into his house. When they opened up a local artist shop joined to Amy’s new age and alien shop, he didn’t say much. When Maria started writing children’s books and Michael illustrated them, he still remained silent until after the first book was published. Michael’s budding artist career was taking off. But this, this was something totally new. Twins that would share alien and human blood would be the first real proof that they were able to stay on this planet and live their lives normally, to love and live with humans.

“Breathe, sweetie.”

“Frick off, Spaceboy. I’m breathing. All this hee, hee, frickin breathing is making me light headed.”

Michael held Maria tighter as another contraction came. He kept his eyes on the fetal monitor and the monitor that was connected to Maria. Her vitals and heart rate were identical to the children’s. Michael was glad no one was monitoring him because he suspected that the same would be true of him, that all their heartbeats were the same.

“Are you mad at me yet? Is this getting to be my fault?”

“Two months ago, when not only could I not see my feet any longer, but I used a mirror and discovered that you painted my toenails red, white, and blue.”

“Baby, it was the Fourth of July. I changed them afterwards.” Michael kissed her forehead and gave her some ice chips. The contraction had subsided, but he could feel another one coming. Bracing him self for another contraction, he road out the storm. It would be confusing to the hospital staff if he fell over from the torture of the contractions. It wasn’t like he could explain that he was feeling them too. Maria looked at him intensely as the next one increased in severity.

“How are you holding up?” Michael reached down and kissed her groaning in her ear in pain.

“Fine. I’ll be fine. Maybe we should have rethought the epidural option?”

“How can we know how it would effect them?” They had looked at all the possibilities when they prepared for the delivery. Michael had severed reactions to medication, especially stimulants, and to alcohol. They choose not to use any narcotics during delivery since it was unknown how it would affect the twins.

“Maria?” They looked over at the doctor. “We’re going to take you into the delivery room now. You’re dilated at 10, and it looks like these babies are ready to be born. Just hold on a little more, and don’t start bearing down until I tell you to. Michael, you need to change into sterile scrubs. The nurse will show you where to go.”

After six hours of labor, and watching Michael moving towards a dressing room, Maria was amazed that he was still able to walk. Her lower body felt like it was in a vice, and Michael was feeling the same sensation. It was hard to settle her emotions. She wanted her children to be born, and after six hours she was almost ready to beg them to rip them out of her. But, there was also a feeling of loss at losing their presence. After nine months of carrying them inside, the void they would leave was already paining her. Michael came back and she knew that he was reading her emotions.

“It’ll be okay. The bond will still be there. It’s a gift, honey.”

The next half hour was the most grueling of Michael’s life. Watching Maria bearing down to deliver their children…worrying about how alien they would be…worrying about Maria’s pain...and feeling the pressure inside him. It was all worth it!  The moment he saw the crown of his son, Bastian’s head, and then his shoulder and quickly the rest of him. They placed him on Maria’s stomach and Michael wiped away her tears as her beautiful hands moved over their son checking his fingers and toes.

Children didn’t really open their eyes immediately, but Bastian did, and his eyes weren’t the typical blue of newborns. Instead, they were the warm golden brown of a fine scotch malt liquor of his father’s. He looked at his son and felt something beyond description...happiness, and recognition vaster than the universe. The doctor passed the scissors to Michael so he could cut the cord that connected his son to his wife. But before he could cut it the doctor stopped him. It appeared that a certain impatient young girl was ready to be born. Being left alone in the womb without her brother was more than she could stand. The nurse quickly covered the baby with a receiving cloth since they couldn’t move him to the incubator-heating unit, yet.

The moment he saw his daughter his heart stopped and he fell in love all over again. She was so much like her brother, and yet so different. She was small and delicate like her mother with a cute little cupid pink bow mouth and when they handed her to him to place on Maria’s stomach next to Bastian he couldn’t stop himself from kissing his daughter, Belle. As he placed her where she belongs next to her brother, her eyes opened to show him a pair of eyes identical to his. The sight of them blurred before his eyes and Maria’s hand came up and touched him. He bent down to let her kiss away the tears. His eyes never left hers as he cut their cords.

“My God, Maria. Look at what we did.” They were more perfect than any painting he could paint. They were the masterpiece of nature, the perfection that he could only hope to mimic. They were so much of him and Maria mixed together, the physical proof of their love.

~~~

They watched Maria sleeping. They had all tried to wake her, but it wasn’t working. Liz was pacing the room, more and more agitated. This was getting creepy. Where the hell was Michael Guerin? Liz couldn’t help but blame him. She attributed Maria’s depression with the cool callous treatment she received at Michael’s hands. At the very least, he could be here worrying about her like the rest.

“Where is Michael?”

“We sent Alex and Kyle over to get him. He wasn’t answering his phone.” Isabel sat on the bed next to Maria and took her hand in her own checking the pulse. She looked like a sleeping beauty. Liz’s phone rang startling them all.

“Hello? Alex, where are you? Did you find Michael?” Liz stopped and listened to Alex on the other end. Her worry increased, as did signs of perplexity. “Hang on.”

“Max, Alex and Kyle found Michael asleep in his apartment. They can’t wake him.”

The group shared a long lingering look. This was too much to be a coincidence. That both Michael and Maria would both suffer the same sleeping malady was too much to be ignored. Max thought about it for a second. Isabel. Taking the phone from Liz, Max talked to Alex.

“Can you bring Michael over here?” They could hear Alex talking on the other end. “Never mind. We’ll bring Maria to Michael’s. Give us a few minutes.”

Hanging up the phone, Max turned to the others. “We need to take Maria over to Michael’s. I don’t know what’s going on, but Isabel, I think we need you to go into their dreams and find out.”

~~~

Michael looked up from his sketchpad that he was working on while the children played. He knew that Maria would find them. She was very adept at honing in on her children and her husband. He had wanted to go with her to the doctor this morning, but she talked him out of it. They didn’t want to leave the children with a babysitter since Max and Liz were out of town, Isabel was touring with Alex, and Amy was away on a buying trip. The children started using their powers last month, right after their fifth birthday. So leaving them with strangers was no longer an option. Only family could baby-sit them until they taught the kids control.

“Handsome.”

“Hey, baby doll.” Michael pulled Maria into his lap and kissed her passionately when she made a face at the name. Moving his hand over her flat stomach, he asked her the question he already knew.

“Well?”

“Yes, about six weeks. The doctor was amazed that I was so sure about this, but I couldn’t tell him that my husband was hearing humming at night and we were both getting morning sickness.”

“Do you think it’ll be twins again?”

“I don’t think so. The humming isn’t as loud and it feels like one. What do you think?”

“I think my love that it’s a little girl. It feels like Belle to me.” Michael was so excited about the new baby, and it being a girl that he could hardly keep his cool. He loved his son, adored him, but a daughter was so much a reminder of Maria. He wanted a small version of her to carry around. “Maria? Is a girl okay?”

“Silly, a boy or girl would be great, but a girl is very okay. Then it must be Emily.” Michael was still smiling and giving Maria big hugs and kisses. They waited five years to try to have another baby. They had spaced the children to allow Liz and Max to have one and Isabel and Alex. It was such a special thing for the podsters to actually have babies that they hadn’t wanted to subtract from the time having them all pregnant at once. Tess was the only one still without a child. Her and Kyle were traveling with a professional basketball franchise and living in hotels that they decided to wait until they were willing to settle down.

Michael smiled at the thought of another daughter. He loved his son and daughter, but the thought of another daughter was like a light in his heart. The only drawback was the morning sickness, cramps, backaches, and all other things that came with pregnancy. He chuckled to himself when he remembered Max’s reaction to Liz’s pregnancy and all the teasing he did about Max’s morning sickness and cravings. Looked like Max was going to be able to get even with Michael finally. Michael was just barely able to stop laughing at the thought of Alex sitting on the sofa complaining about his feet swelling.

Isabel watched them from a distance. This was too weird, way too weird. She watched as Michael and Maria went and engaged in a wrestling match and a game of chase with two small children. Their laughter and happiness was a tangible thing. When suddenly the children turned, they looked at her and stopped in their tracks. She could feel the power of their gaze. The two children saw her, and they knew that she was there. It was Michael’s eyes staring at her, his children and Maria’s.

~~~

Isabel sat straight up from the sofa with Alex holding her hand. She looked at him and then at the others. This was too hard.

“Isabel, what is it?”

“Max, oh my God, Max. They were sharing a dream.”

“What? You mean they were both having the same dream at the same time?”

“No. It was only one dream with the both of them in it. They’re dreaming their own parts independent of the other.”

“I don’t understand. You mean that they aren’t dreaming the dream separate, but together?”

“I mean that they’re interacting together in the dream."

“Did you talk to them? Tell them that they’re trapped.” Isabel looked away from the rest. Her response was hardly a whisper.

“No.”

“No? Why not Izzy?”

“Max, they’re married. They have a life together, children, and Maria is pregnant again.” Isabel paused to make her point known. “They’re happy, happier than I’ve ever seen them. I couldn’t spoil it.”

“Isabel…”

“No. You don’t understand. Max, I don’t think they know it’s a dream. They think it’s real.”

Liz looked at both Maria and Michael sleeping on his bed. They were both stiller than she would have thought possible. Since they had placed Maria on Michael’s bed, he had moved closer to her and she now was curled up against his side. It was worrying how incredibly small they both seemed, and that was a hard task for Michael to look small since his frame was so large. They had lost so much energy and weight while they slept.

“Max, they can’t survive at this rate. Their physical bodies need food and exercise.” Liz turned to look at Isabel. “I understand what you’re saying. It’s like they found a way to create the world they wanted, the world where they could be together. But Isabel if they don’t let that world go, then we’ll lose them here. Either way, that other world will end.”

“I can’t break up their dream. I can’t.” Max moved closer to Isabel.

“Look at them.” He turned Isabel to look at the sleeping forms of their friends, mere shadows of their old selves. “Maria fell asleep in the bath and almost drowned once already. Michael hasn’t eaten in days. They’re dying. Our friends are dying. We have to break the cycle.”

Isabel nodded her agreement. This was hard, too hard. Trying to stop a dream that was nothing if not, beautiful, simple, and pure, when all she had to offer them was their real lives, which were full of pain, anger, isolation, loss, and fear. It didn’t seem fair.

“He’s happy, Max. Really happy. How can I just take that from him? You know what his life’s been like! They are both so happy. How can we?”

“Because we love them. And because it’s just a dream.”

~~~

She found Maria first in the backyard of her house planting flowers in well tended beds. The neat flowerbeds didn’t look like Maria, but the eclectic choice of plants did. She was humming under breath. Isabel watched as Michael came into view around the corner.

“Successful day?” She asked. He settled on the grass next to her, lazily and relaxed. He smelt male, and so very much like Michael. Lust curled comfortably in her stomach.

“We can feed our motley crew yet another day and engage in the ritual of buying plastic for their playing pleasure.”

Maria reached up and moved her fingers through his hair liking the way it gripped her fingers and then fell softly away. “Daddy, you’re gonna be a hero.”

“Where are the little people?” Michael asked with his eyes laughing at her. “And are we alone?” She should have seen it coming, it was a practiced move that she had seen numerous times before. He reached up and cupped the back of her neck, and overbalanced her onto him and into a hot kiss. She laughingly squirmed away from him, but not fast enough. She ended up under him.

“Where are the kids, again?” His mouth fastened greedily on her throat and sent little licks of heat straight down her body to her toes.

“Mother. She took them to the zoo today. Remember? They won’t be back for a least another hour, unless Jim gets called away.”

“Hmm, alone? This is too good to last. You keep an eye out for the noise while I get you out of your clothes.”

“Honey, maybe we should talk about this…”

“You talk. I want to make love with you. This isn’t about the neighbors getting an eyeful again, is it? They should just film it for us.” Michael moved in closer and Maria made a gesture of retreating. “Let’s see who wins.”

Maria should have been stronger with him and pissed off that he already had her shirt open and his hands all over her breasts. They promised their neighbor that they would keep things in the backyard from becoming too racy, but who could remember impulsive promises when his mouth closed over her sensitive flesh, and her skin was feeling the pleasure.

She let her body go limp, moaned, and combed her fingers through his hair, ran them over his shoulders.

“Your jacket,” she murmured and tugged at it. When he shifted to shrug free, she had him. With his guard lowered she was able to quickly scissor, shove, and pin him with a knee to the crotch and an elbow to the throat.

“You’re so sly.” He groaned aloud. God he loved this woman. He calculated that he could dislodge the elbow, but the knee… There were some things a man didn’t care to risk. Keeping his eyes on hers, he slowly moved his fingertips over her naked breasts circling the most sensitive area. “I so admire a woman that can take me down.”

“You’re easy, my love.” His thumb brushed lightly over her nipple, quickening her breath. “I so admire that in a man.”

“Well, you’ve got me now.” He unzipped her pants and moved his fingers down over her causing her stomach muscles to quiver. “Be kind.”

She grinned, levered her elbow away to brace her hands on either side of his head. “I don’t think so.” Lowering her head, she caught his mouth with hers. She heard him breathe in, felt his arms come around her, fingers digging in. His groan thundered through her pulse.

“Your knee,” he managed.

“Hmm?” Lust was full-blown now and raging. It had been so long since this morning. She shifted her lips and teeth to his throat.

“Your knee, darling.” She moved to attack his ear and nearly unmanned him. “It’s very effective.”

“Oh, sorry.” Snorting, she lowered her knee, lowered her body, and let him roll her over. “Forgot.”

“Sweetie, you could’ve caused permanent damage.”

“Aw. Want me to kiss it better?” She laughed at his renewed interest. With a wicked grin, she tugged open his jeans. “I bet we can make it all better.”

His eyes went dark when she stroked him, stayed open and on hers when their lips met again. This kiss, surprisingly tender, twined the strong emotions of love and devotion with the easy lust that existed between them unhindered. It never ceased to amaze him how much the touch of her hand on him and his on her soothed the pains of the world away. She didn’t even know that she needed to be soothed as he stroked her body, so the arousal was slow and warm and liquid. He would have denied that he took as much soothing from her as she of him, until times they held like this, touched like this and it was the only thing he understood in his heart and soul. The romance of the air, the light, the sounds of birds and the quiet of the day, the gradual surrender of a strong woman was gloriously seductive.

After almost ten years of marriage, he was still amazed at how much she moved him, how much she could mend him. They made love watching each other with open eyes fascinated by the emotions they could recognize in each other. She framed his face with her hands, she pulled his mouth to hers to savor his long, long groan of release.

When his body was ranged weightily over hers, his face buried in her hair, she wrapped her arms companionably around him. “I let you seduce me.”

“Uh-huh.” Michael said against her skin.

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Thank you. You tolerated it all so stoically, too.”

She snickered, slapped him on the ass, “Get off me. You weigh a ton.”

“Keep sweet-talking me, and God knows what could happen.” Lazily, he rolled aside and absentmindedly waved to the neighbors just in case. “I’m starving. You distracted me, and now it’s well past dinnertime. Was your mom and Jim gonna feed the rabbits before bringing them back?”

“I think so. Now that you’ve had your sex, pal. Now it’s my turn.” Sitting up and adjusting her clothes she reached over and kissed him deeply and with a devouring hunger. “Feed me, M. I’m starving.”

Michael quickly got up and sort of dressed reaching down to pull her up beside him. “I love feeding you, M.”

Isabel slowly came out of her hiding place to watch them slowly move indoors, with Michael stopping to brush Maria off before they entered. Running a hand over her eyes she let out her breath. Okay, that was more than she wanted to walk in on, but it was something else at the same time. They moved together with years of experience and knowledge, like pieces of a well-oiled machine. It had been not only distressful, but also almost hauntingly beautiful. She followed them into the kitchen.

Michael had lifted Maria to the countertop and was busy cutting up vegetables and cheeses, occasionally pausing to feed her, kiss her while telling her about his day. He had gone to Albuquerque to check up on his artwork that was being framed for his next gallery showing. Usually Maria went with him, but today she was watching her mother’s shop in the morning so she could take the children to the zoo. So the afternoon had been gloriously hers. Isabel came in and stood in the darkness watching them. It was interesting to realize that she never thought of Michael and Maria as talking, but here they were doing just that.

The sound of the front door opening drew her attention as two whirlwinds came through the door. The twins were talking a mile a minute and attacking Michael. She watched as he wrestled his kids to the floor and tickled them into fits. Maria just kept out of the way on the countertop watching them with a smile. Suddenly Amy and Jim came in carrying the most beautiful child Isabel had ever seen. She was so small and delicate with golden hair looking so much like Maria, her dad’s beautiful whiskey eyes, and a smile like an angel. Smiling a toothy grin at her mother, she looked down at the dog pile to find her dad.

“Da.” Michael looked up from the menagerie to see his littlest angel. The look in his eyes was so intense in their adoration and love. Isabel could almost hear his heart sing, it stopping and then taking off at the sight of her. Quickly finding his feet with the other two holding on to his legs, Michael took Emily from Amy’s arm.

Isabel smiled as she watched him smell his daughter and then rub his head into her little tummy. Her laughter was sweet and happy as he kissed her with big loud smooches and handed her over to Maria. He stood back to look at the picture of his wife with his youngest child in her arms. They had a special bond, but his and Emily’s connection was just as binding. It was hard to imagine being able to love so much and so hard, but his eyes held his life in their center. Looking down, his laugh was loud and carefree as he saw his other squirrelly children. Picking them up, he tossed Belle over to Jim who caught her with great ease and heft his son over his shoulder. Moving over to Maria, he gave her a deep loving kiss and started out of the room with his son bouncing on his shoulder and Jim following.

“Let’s toss these two into the bath and see if we can get the days grime and food off them.” Jim laughed carrying his granddaughter and followed Michael from the room. Maria looked over at her mother and smiled. She could hear the loud laughter of the twins down the hall.

“What?” Maria looked at Amy in confusion. Amy gave her daughter a quick kiss on the cheek and pressed her hand to little Emily’s cheek.

“They’re all so beautiful, especially this little one. So how was the store?”

“Fine mom. Did the demon children cause any problems?” Maria watched her mother avoid her eyes. “Mom?”

“Okay, it was nothing really. It was Emily. She changed a stuffed monkey Jim bought her, pink.” At first, it didn’t register, and then it did.

“No! Michael!” Maria looked down at two-year-old Emily in shock. Michael left Jim to supervise the baths and Michael came back into the kitchen.

“What?”

“Tell him, mom.” Maria looked at her mother and then at Michael keeping her eyes on him waiting for his reaction as her mom told him about how Emily was using powers three years in advanced of her siblings. His reaction was not quite what she was expecting. He came over and picked up his baby girl giving her more big smooches making her wiggle and giggle.

“That’s daddy’s little girl.”

“Michael?” Michael looked at Maria with pride in his eyes. They should have suspected that Emily would develop faster than Bast and Belle since she was merely mimicking her older brother and sister, and they had to figure it out on their own. “Right. Bad baby, mustn’t use powers in public.” Michael couldn’t resist giving his daughter another big kiss as he winked at Amy.

~~~

“Isabel, what happened? Did you talk to them? What did they say?” Isabel sat up and rubbed her hand over her face.

“I couldn’t, okay? I couldn’t destroy their lives.”

“Isabel, it’s not real. It’s a fantasy dream. They’re trapped in the dream.”

“You don’t understand, Max. You can’t understand. They’re so happy.” Alex sat next to Isabel and took her hand in his own.

“We understand that Isabel, but they need to wake up from the dream. If they stay trapped there, their bodies are gonna die here, in the real world. There, there’s no chance of them staying alive, living happily forever, together. Here, they can make choices. They can build a real life out of that fantasy one.”

“Okay, okay. You can’t imagine what you’re asking of me, but I’ll go back.” Isabel settled back down on the sofa. “Please God, don’t let me interrupt them making love again.” Isabel closed her eyes as the rest looked at each other in amazement, letting what Isabel just said paint a scene in their heads.

~~~

They were in the backyard again. But this time the twins were jumping together on a trampoline and singing songs together, stopping to chase each other around, and then jumping again. Every once in a while they would power jump the other so they could go higher and higher, until a stream of water hit them dead on. Michael was watering the trees and garden while he kept an eye on a grill. They screamed and laughed when the water hit them.

“You know the rules. You may jump together, but not opposite each other. I don’t want you going too high and falling off the trampoline. This is your last warning, or I’ll call Uncle Max to come over and give you the safety lecture again.”

“We’re being good, dad. We promise. Huh, Bast?”

“Anything but the safety lecture, dad. Anything.” Michael laughed at the horror and terror on their faces. Looking over he heard Maria’s soft chuckle. She was helping Emily pick flowers. Those poor flowers were being severely mangled in her baby soft chubby hands. What a sweetie. Looking Maria up and down, Michael could feel his hunger for her rising, maybe just one more child, or two. Emily was getting older and Maria loved being pregnant. He loved Maria pregnant. Giving her a dark sultry look, he watched as her eyes cleared and she read his thoughts.

“Uh uh! No way! M, put it away. We agreed not until Em is four to talk about it, and not before.”

“Honey, come on. Let’s be reasonable here.” Michael put down the watering hose and hugged Maria from behind clasping his hands over her empty womb. “Please?”

“What am I gonna do with you? We waited until the twins were five before having Emily. Do I look like a breeding horse?” Michael kissed the side of her neck leaving hot open mouth kisses along its length.

“I love it when you’re pregnant. You love being pregnant. What’s another baby between friends?” Maria’s eyebrow went upward.

“Friends?”

“Lovers, mates, M, my life.”

It was the stillness of the twins that attracted their attention first, Bast and Belle stopped jumping, joined their hands together and looked across the yard. Both Michael and Maria watched them and followed their gaze with Michael moving his hand into a defensive manner ready to protect his family. Isabel.

“Isabel? Goodness, you scared us. I’ve never seen the children react so severely to your presence.” Maria moved away from Michael to gesture Isabel forward.

“Izzy, what’s up? We thought that you and Cameron were touring with Alex and the band. Did something happen? Izzy?”

Isabel slowly approached them. Her heart was breaking. It was almost like the twins could sense that something was going to change. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Michael. Maria.” They waited confused at her silence. “I was sent to bring you home.”

“Home?” Michael looked over at Maria with a question in his eyes and she just shrugged. “We don’t understand.”

“This place, your home, your life, and your children, they’re not real. They’re constructs in a dream. You and Maria are trapped in a dream together. Here you’ve lived a long happy life, but this isn’t the real world, the waking world.”

“That’s not true. Why are you saying this? Why are you telling us this?” Maria stood up and held Emily tight against her breasts and Michael to her side the rising hysteria apparent in her voice. “This is real. These are our babies.”

“Maria. You were waking up before, and not remembering. But now, you, both of you, can no longer wake up. This world is a safe haven for you, and its appeal is binding you here.”

“Isabel, Maria is right. This is our 'lives’. We live them everyday. How can this be a dream? Maria and I’ve been married for almost ten years, and I remember every day as if it were yesterday.”

“It was literally almost yesterday. You’re dreaming this world at high speeds. Living in it. You’ve got to let it go.”

“No. M, tell her no. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.” Maria was crying and Michael was feeling sick in his heart. Isabel would never lie like this, but it couldn’t be true. He felt everything, remembered everything. How could this be a dream?

“If it’s a dream, then wake us up.”

“We tried. You can’t be awakened.  Max thinks that only the two of you can end the dream. You’re holding it, making it real. If you don’t release the dream, your bodies will die in the real world.”

“I don’t care. I choose this world. I can’t lose my children. Michael, please.” Michael looked over at Isabel and slowly reached his hand out to take hers. His hand went through her arm.

“Oh God.” Michael turned to look at his twins, at his baby and finally at Maria. It was true. They were trapped inside a delusion. Pulling Maria and Emily tight to him he lowered his head and wept. Isabel stepped away from them, her own eyes filling with tears as she listened to the anguish of Michael’s crying and the denial from Maria. She couldn’t ever remember really hearing or seeing him cry before. It was deep and cutting, like a wounded animal.

“No. I won’t believe it. I can’t. Michael, don’t believe, don’t believe. Stay husband, stay here with me.”

“Maria…”

“No, not my babies. I won’t lose them. I won’t lose you.” Michael gathered her close to him rocking her as she cried. His hand came up to gently cup Emily’s baby soft cheek. She looked him straight in the eye and said, “Da.”

The anguish shot through him, at the pain of seeing her beautiful little face, the trust and love in her eyes, the way she reached for him. He would take untold abuse to keep them. Michael and Maria both fell to the ground with the twins coming to join them. Hugging their children and each other, they cried. Looking up, Michael told Isabel to leave them, to leave them with their children one last time. His heart was breaking before her very eyes.

~~~

Isabel woke crying. Her pain was so great that it was almost impossible to breathe. Max and the others gathered around her, holding her.

“They aren’t awake. Isabel what happened.”

“Michael accepts, but he asked that we leave them for a while, to let them be with their children one last time.” Isabel crying increased. It was intolerable. It was inhumane. Getting up from the sofa, she wandered into bedroom to see Michael and Maria wrapped around each other. Looking closely she noticed the tears on Maria’s cheeks, and Michael’s face was buried in her hair. They all sat silently in Michael’s living room watching the clock. How long should they wait?

Isabel told them about the dream, about their own children, their own lives, and finally about Michael and Maria’s life, and their children. Grief was a tangible thing in the room. Wanting this world for themselves and their friends, but it couldn’t be.

“Isabel, it’s time.”

“No. Just give them a little longer, Max.”

“Isabel, time won’t make this any easier. The longer we wait, the harder it becomes.”

“It’s already fucking hard, Max. You can’t imagine how hard, and what you’re asking from me.”

“Isabel.” Pulling away from him, she went back to the sofa to enter the dream, to break their hearts into a thousand pieces. She found them at the park on a beautiful sunshiny day. The children were playing with Amy and Jim while both Michael and Maria watched, holding each other close. They both looked up and saw her at the same time.

“Thank you, Isabel. Thank you for the extra time.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about your children, about your life.”

“What do we need to do Michael? How do we break the dream?” Maria looked over at them playing in the park, so happy, so safe.

“I think that one of us has to die. Me.” Michael said meeting Maria’s eyes watching the dawning horror.

“No! No. I can’t live with that. Don’t make me watch you die, too.” Pain shot through her body closing down her lungs and making it hard to breathe. “Please Michael, I can’t survive that.” Maria held him close her sorrow wracked her body. “Maybe we were wrong. Maybe we can choose to stay here, live here. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose us.”

“You won’t. We’ll be together in the real world.”

“No we won’t. You’ll forget me. Find a reason for why we can’t be together. We’ll forget us. I won’t feel you next to me anymore.” Holding him as tight and fierce as possible ignoring her own tears. “I can’t lose you, Michael. The children are hard enough, but you too? I can’t survive it.”

“Maria, Isabel will be our memory in case we forget the dream. She’ll be our memory.” Michael held her close with his chin resting on her head. “Isabel?”

Isabel nodded her head. This was too hard, too cruel. Watching them look at each other one more time in a deep long stare, Michael pulled her into their last kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Maria was sobbing against his chest. Michael was whispering to her.

“Maria, one world must give way to the other. We won’t survive here long without our real bodies. You stay strong. You believe in me. I’ll remember you.” Michael kissed her tears. “I have so much to thank you for, making me happy, all the kisses in dark theatres, for stop turning my socks pink, for my children, for everyday of the last ten years and all the laughter and great sex, and mostly, for keeping your promise of loving me forever.”

“I was happy here. I was really, really happy here with you.” Maria’s voice broke around the tears, as her voice became husky with emotions. “I’ll always love you here, in that place between the twilight and dawn. Michael, forgive me. You must forgive me, my love. I can’t watch you die. My children, I loved my children. I can’t watch them fade away.” Maria looked over and saw Bastian and Belle standing holding hands and watching her with tears in their eyes. Maria broke free of Michael’s arms and with tears blinding her, ran into the street in front of an on-coming vehicle. Isabel screamed in horror as Michael’s pain of suffering and torment echoed in her ears.

“Maria! No.” He fell to the ground gathering her body close to his. Her lifeless body lay still in his arms as the dream faded to black.

~~~

Liz stood watching as Michael was thrashing in his sleep. Reaching over she noticed the quick gasp from Maria, then silence. Feeling her pulse, Liz screamed for the others. Maria was dead. Her pulse was silent.

“Maria!” Both Isabel and Michael woke at the same time, screaming her name. Michael looked to the still figure in the bed next to him.

“No. No!” He reached his hand down and placed it over her heart as he bent and joined their mouths in a kiss. Using his powers, he gave Maria’s heart a life saving charge, and suddenly she was coughing and awake, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she violently began to weep as Michael gathered her close and rocked her as his tears joined hers. Looking up at the doorway, he saw Isabel.

“Do you…” Michael cut Isabel off.

“Yes, every moment of everyday. You’ll forgive me if I don’t thank you right away?” Hugging Maria, Michael felt the grief in his heart, that stuttering empty feeling, as he listened to her agony. “If you could leave us for awhile? Time, we just need some time.”

~~~

It had been three weeks, and instead of them getting better, they were actually worse. Maria, literally, cried none stop for a full week until her mother and doctor had her committed to a sanitarium. Maria was showing signs of both severe melancholy and immeasurable grief. Amy was afraid that she would turn suicidal. Max and the others didn’t protest the moving of Maria to a protected place. They came to find Michael and Maria in his apartment mere days after ending the dream and both were beside themselves in their grief.

Maria wandered around the room crying, the sound was deep and sorrowful, so full of anguish and despair that it hurt Max to hear it, to see it, but Michael watched her with fear in his eyes. Before he could stop her, she grabbed a knife of the countertop and slashed her left forearm, over and over again. He came behind her, holding her and stabilizing her arm, grabbing the slashing knife away and tossing it across the room. Max quickly took her arm and healed the wounds. She lay collapsed against Michael, begging him to let her die, to let the pain stop with death. He just kept repeating over and over for her to stay with him. The rest of them watched, helpless, unable to really understand the true misery that was their waking lives.

Michael locked himself away in his apartment, except, to go visit Maria.  Until they sent her away, then he never left the place. The few times Max actually saw him, he was shocked to see the unshaved, hollowed-eyed man that was once his best friend. Isabel was the only one who really could even come near to understanding the depth and measure of their grief and pain. But, even she could only understand a small iota of what they were experiencing.

Max knocked on the door for a good five minutes. Afraid that Michael was once again lost in a dream world or pushed to the edge like Maria, he opened the door with his powers.

“If no one answers the door that generally means that they don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Michael.” Max looked at him sitting in the chair in his living room. He was in the dark, just sitting there alone. “I was worried about you. You didn’t answer your phone, and I haven’t seen you in almost a week.”

“Same reason. I wanted to be alone.”

“Michael, it was just a dream. You need to get it together, for Maria.” Michael turned to look at Max at the sound of Maria’s name. “She’s not surviving without you. She needs an ultimatum, a reason to go on. She needs you.”

“I miss her. I miss her so much that the void left from her absence is killing me. How can I know so much about her? Feel her so deep inside? I’m not surviving. I feel lonely, so alone.” Michael stood up and stretched moving endless pictures away from him and placing them in the chair. “I know that it was only a dream here,” Michael gestured to his head, “but, here,” gesturing to his heart, “it was very real. I feel them. I still believe in them.”

Michael collapsed to the ground into a weeping ball of despair. Max never had seen Michael so driven in sorrow. Picking up one of the sketches, he looked at the picture of Maria breast-feeding a small baby girl. All the other pictures littering the room were of Maria and three children. They were all so incredibly drawn with love and almost reverence.

“My children, I miss my children, my wife, and everything I know about them. I know they weren’t real, that it wasn’t real, but my heart doesn’t seem to be able to tell the difference. I hurt, Maxwell. I really, really hurt. I was happy, for the first time in my life, I was really happy. She made my life worth living.” Sobbing in sorrow, living in the pain, he couldn’t imagine ever surviving this anguish. “They were so beautiful. I was so in love with my whole family. How do I learn to forget that, to live without it?”

“You don’t.” Max gathered his best friend up in his arms and held him tight. “It was a dream, Michael. A beautiful wonderful dream of what could’ve been, what can be? You’ve got to let it go, let them go, so you can mend. Then you’ve got to get angry, and stay angry, and go and pull your woman out of her misery. Give her the option to make the dream a reality. Someone has to start fighting for the dream before it fades from memory.” Max stayed with his brother as he lived yet another day in a waking hell.

~~~

He stood in the doorway watching her for a few moments. She was silent. Sitting in front of the widow in a rocking chair, lost somewhere that he couldn’t imagine. She held a baby blanket in her hands. Moving into the room, he walked to her side and placed his hand on her cheek feeling the wetness from tears. He watched her eyes close to his touch.

“Michael.”

“Hello, M.” He watched her flinch at his pet name for her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too. Where have you been?”

“Lost. But I finally woke up and you weren’t there, so I came to get you back. I’m sorry I left you alone for so long. It’ll never happen again.” Michael put his hands over her and rubbed the backs of her hands. “I need you to mend, to let that world slip away.”

“I can’t. I know they weren’t real, but I still feel them.” Her voice shuttered. “Especially the baby, Emily. I can feel her at my breasts, in my womb, deep inside me. I want to hold her close, hold all of them close. I still smell them and hear their laughter. I miss my beautiful children. Their laughter haunts me at night. I dream that they need me, but I can’t reach them. I’m afraid of dreaming now.” Maria looked up at him with haggard eyes, hollow and lifeless. “Do you remember how they smelt?”

Michael choked back the cry of sorrow swallowing the bittersweet memory. “Yeah, yeah I remember.” He let out a shaky sigh. Keeping his eyes mated to hers, not willing to let her slip away again.

“I miss them, too. But I can live with just the memory of them. I can live with the hope of someday finding them again. But, Maria, I can’t live without you.” Michael took her chair and turned it to face him. “I need you. It’s time for us to stop mourning the loss of the dream and wake up to the reality. I want them back. I want us back. It’s time, honey. It’s time to make a hard decision. Do you live lost in this endless void wanting what can never be? Or do you get up, and take a chance on me? Trust that the man you loved and married for over ten years is the man I can become with your gentleness and gutsy fire in my life. What do you do, Maria?” Wiping the tears from her eyes and sniffing, Maria looked at him, outlining his face with her eyes.

“What about being a soldier?”

“I can be a soldier with you, but without you...I’m nothing.”

“I loved you with so much of my heart that I had so little left. The children were a part of that love. It’s the only way I know to love you.”

“I haven’t forgotten. I’m still here. I lived through losing our children and losing you. Watching you die was the hardest thing I ever did. I’ve dreamed about that car hitting you over and over again, holding your lifeless body in my arms, and being alone. Don’t make me lose you again. I know you loved the dream Michael. What I need to know is can you love the real Michael? Can you love me?” Reaching up she rubbed her hand across his cheek. It was strange how familiar it felt, how she knew so much about him without really ever getting to know him that intimately in real life.

There was never any question about their feelings being the same ones they felt in the dream. It was their feelings for each other that had created the template and wrote the fantasy.

“I’ve always loved you, the real you, first, and then the dream of you. Being in the vision was the only way I could have you.”

“Then do me a favor?”

“I love doing favors for you.”

“Love me forever, marry me.”

Maria threw herself into his arms kissing him deeply, loving him perpetually. It was more than love that guided her, it was experience gained in dreams. Loving him forever would be the easiest promise she would ever have to keep since she already had a lifetime of experience doing that very thing.

She spent so many sleeping hours with him, knowing him, touching him, that it was strange to even consider him ever being a stranger. He was as he had always been, Michael.

It would be a long time before either of them stopped mourning what was lost, but taking real steps towards building that dream in the real world would finally mend their broken hearts. And one day, when they were watching their first child being born, they would finally appreciate all the sacrifice and pain that had led them there, that made all the difference. Finding a sense of peace for the first time in three weeks, Michael pulled her away from his body and took her head in his hands.

“Maria?”

“Hmm?”

“Was that a yes?” He pulled her back into his arms as her laughter moved over him.

“Yes, M.”

It was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. They had lost so much when they lost the dream, but they also gained a chance for a lifetime together. A chance to make a life change before it was too late. The shaman believes that the dreaming world is a place where possibilities are explored, where crisis are resolved by working out the alternatives, the different paths. In their dream she showed him the possibility of love and happiness, and the promise of a family. And with all lessons to be learned, he was taking this one, and making it come true.

The End