What is Wrong With Me?

Author: Aleah Rating: PG-13 Summary: Michael and Isabel each have the same disturbing dream. Disclaimer: If I owned Roswell, Jesse would not exist and Michael and Isabel would have been together since at least JTNY. Improv: 'Tis the season. Author's Note: The dream they are having is of Future Max's reality. The dream takes place on the Christmas of 2002. The part when they wake up takes place about four days after Samuel Rising. I know I'm a Cliffhanger, but this little dream-thingy is what I think would happen if Michael and Isabel really hooked up. Michael Guerin walked up the stairs to his apartment. He had just finished an eight-hour shift at the Crashdown. He was exhausted, and he wanted to crash into bed and fall asleep. He opened his door and stepped inside. "What are you doing here?", he asked. Isabel grinned at him from where she was decorating a small Christmas tree on his counter. "Nothing, and you?", she replied cheerfully. "I thought you had to do more of your charity work tonight," Michael said. "I was looking foward to sleeping." "Aw, does the thought of me keep you awake all night?", Isabel asked playfully. "No, you keep me awake all night," Michael said, flopping onto his couch. "But I told you, I don't want any of that Christmas crap in my apartment. Why can't you save your torture methods for Max and your parents?" "Because," Isabel replied smugly. "I enjoy torturing you as well." She came over and sat down next to him on the couch. They had been together for almost a year. No one else knew about it yet. Isabel leaned her head on his shoulder, and he started playing with a strand of her long blonde hair. "Michael, we have to tell them," Isabel said. Michael sighed and shook his head. "Isabel, don't start this again," he said. "Michael, why don't you want anyone to know?", she demanded. "Are you embarrased of me?" Michael sighed. "Of course not." "Then why don't you want to tell anyone about us?" "Because if we tell Max, Liz will find out, 'cause she's his wife now. And then she'll tell Maria. And then Alex, Serena, and Kyle will all find out." "But why do you care?", Isabel asked. Michael shook his head and didn't answer. "Michael, the longer we wait, the more of a shock it's going to be to them when we do tell them," Isabel said. Michael gently pushed her head off his shoulder and stood up. "Isabel, I like things the way they are," he said. "Why can't we just leave it like this?" "You mean, sneaking around so that no one will find out about us?", Isabel snapped. "I don't want to live my whole life with you in secret, Michael." "But I don't want to tell them," Michael said angrily. There was a long pause, then Isabel said, "I know why." "Really? Then tell me why, Isabel," Michael said coldly. "You don't want anyone to know so that when you leave me, no one will know that you can't even sustain a relationship with someone like you." Michael rolled his eyes. "Isabel, stop it. I am not gonna leave you," he snapped. "Really?", Isabel demanded. Michael nodded. "Then tell me," Isabel continued. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you've never once wished that I wasn't your girlfriend." Michael looked her in the eyes. "Isabel, I have never wished you weren't my girlfriend. Now stop being so paranoid." Isabel sighed. "Fine." "What about you?", Michael asked. "Will you ever leave me?" Isabel sighed. "You know what, Michael?", she snapped. "If we keep having this stupid fight day after day, I just might. In two months, it'll be our one-year anniversary. Am I going to have to hide that from everyone?" "Well, you just said you're going to leave me, so I guess we don't have to worry about our anniversary, do we?", Michael snapped. Isabel closed her eyes, leaned back against the couch, and groaned. "Michael, why can't we tell them?", she asked. "It's Christmas, and I have to go back and forth between here and my house." "Hail the Christmas Nazi," Michael muttered. Isabel flinched. "You know what?", she snapped, standing up. "Fine." She grabbed her coat off the edge of the couch and headed to the door. "I'll see you later. Maybe." "Isabel, wait," Michael said, jumping off the couch and running to stop her. "No," Isabel snapped. Michael grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. "We'll tell them tomorrow, okay, honey?", he said, his voice soothing. Isabel grinned. "The day Michael calls anybody honey, it's all over," she said. Michael smiled in relief. She wasn't going to leave. "Oh, come on, Isabel," he said. "It's been all over since last February, and you know it." Isabel smiled and hugged him. "Yeah," she murmered. She put her coat down on the couch, sat down, and pulled him down next to her. "You promise?", she asked. He nodded. "Yeah, I swear on my Metallica CDs," he said. Isabel laughed. "A promise worth keeping," she mocked him. "Thank you," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder again. "I didn't want to lose you," he replied, putting his arm around her. "Don't worry," Isabel said. "I don't think it was ever a real possibility." Michael grinned. "Good. Now, we've done enough fighting for one night." "Agreed," Isabel said, climbing onto his lap. "I love you, Michael." "I love you, too," Michael said. Isabel grinned. "Well, you'd better." She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned in, and -- * * * * * "Oh my god!", Isabel Ramirez exclaimed, sitting up in bed. She looked around and took a couple of deep breaths. "It was only a dream," she said out loud. Her husband, Jesse, stirred besides her, then woke up. "What's going on?", he asked. "Nothing," Isabel said. "I just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep." "Thank you," Jesse muttered, instantly doing so. Isabel sighed and got up. She knew there was no way she could get back to sleep tonight. That dream was too disturbing. She walked into the living room of their apartment and stared at herself in the mirror. There she was. The same Isabel she'd been when she'd gone to sleep. Short brown hair. Red silk pajamas. Happily married. But when she'd been dreaming............She shivered. When she'd been dreaming, she'd been another Isabel. An Isabel somehow just as real. A single Isabel with long blonde hair, again. An Isabel who loved Michael. Isabel tried to recall the other parts of her dream. Max and Liz were married. Alex was alive. And there was someone named......Somehow the name Serena sounded familiar to Isabel. She shook it off. I'm happy with Jesse, she reminded herself. But I was happy in the dream, too. Really happy. Really happy with Michael. Isabel sighed and ran her hands through her hair. Her short brown hair. "What is wrong with me?" * * * * * Michael Guerin woke up as he rolled off his bed onto the floor. "Damn," he muttered, pulling himself up. He sat on his bed and pushed his hair off his face. "What the hell was that?", he muttered. Sure, he'd had dreams about Isabel before. But it felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time. And besides, the last dreams were nothing like that. Those other dreams had been of he and Isabel out in the desert by the pod chamber, with Antarian symbols on the ground. And there had been no sound at all. But in this dream, they had been fighting. They had been acting like themselves, except they were together. They'd been fighting about.......telling everyone else about the fact that they were together. It seemed so real. He could actually feel her head on his shoulder, and her hair between his fingers, and -- everything else about her. He could also feel everything the Michael in the dream had felt for the Isabel in the dream -- the love for her, the annoyance at her, and the fear of her leaving him. Which was exactly what Michael had always felt for Maria. God, this is sick, Michael thought. Isabel's like my sister. Only in the dream, she wasn't. Not at all. And Michael could clearly remember everything the Michael in the dream felt. Michael had no idea what was going on, but he didn't like it. "God," he muttered in disgust. "What is wrong with me?