The Case of the Conductor’s Keys and the Deadhead that Split East and West

By DocPaul

Series: Michael Guerin, The World’s Greatest Alien Investigator

Episode: Five

Author’s email: DocPaul2002@yahoo.ca

Rating: PG

Spoilers: none, Roswell is over silly.

Disclaimers: The concepts and names are the same, but the characters belong to me. I give them life, more life than Roswell , better lives.

Warnings: This is not canon, so if you expect it, don’t. Things change. People change. It happens.

Summary:  A Michael POV documenting his investigating technique as the World's Greatest Alien Investigator. From pranks to misdemeanors, to accidental, who is to say what is what?.

Author’s note: This is a fluff piece for me. Thought you could use a relief from angst…or prolonged angst. The idea of this story is taken in part from the movie Zero Effect with all parts after the first part completely mine. This case is dedicated to Val who shared a suggestion of a train trip. Thank you. For anyone wanting to see the trips details, or feel a need to get away, please visit http://www.americanorientexpress.com/framesets/frame_2003tours.html

 

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The Case of the Conductor’s Keys and the Deadhead that Split East and West

 

Michael Guerin:

The World's Greatest Alien Investigator

 

~For Val~

 

Notoriety. An interesting concept and one I never thought to have plagued me. In my journeys as an investigator, and being the World’s Greatest alien one, I have come to accept that my time is rarely my own. People want things from me. Sometimes someone to listen, other times for me to find something misplaced, and other times they want me to look inside them and find what they lost, some truth that somehow escapes them.

I admit to perhaps seeing a little more into people than others, and at times even more than they can themselves. It is hard learning to not act on what I see. Tiring. It all gets tiring. There was a time in my life when I was very alone, before my trusty assistant discovered me. I say discover, because it was as if all my life I had been waiting to be found. The moment Maria’s eyes looked into me, really seeing me, it was as if in that moment, she brought me into existence.

From the moment I met her, I knew that I would never be alone again. I admit, in my youth, that very thought scared me stiff, and being trapped in some type of relationship was the least of my desires. I have since matured. There was a special year, a time when my relationship with my assistant solidified into something beyond even my imagination, and that changed my way of thinking. One day I woke up and discovered that there was no one I wanted to talk to more, share things with, and somehow between here and there, she had become my very best friend.

So back to notoriety, since I have slowly built a reputation as being what I am, the World's Greatest Alien Investigator, and people have sought out my expert opinion and advice. This is a problem. I was raised alone, and except for a few notable people, I have remained that way. There is very little room in my life for clutter and people. I have enough room for my assistant and me. And last week, I was approached six times for advice and assistance. Six times!

It was time to take a breather, get away from the hearth fire and strike out on an adventure. So packing the bare essentials, which are… well, you know… myself and my assistant, I took us off to Sante Fe.

 

“Michael, please tell me!”

“Hold your water.”

Maria huffed. “That is not a nice thing to say to a four month pregnant woman.” Maria stared at her feet. “I think my feet are swelling! Do they look large to you?”

“Huge.” Smiling to himself at her sound of distress, Michael pulled into an Inn at Loretto. “We’re here.”

Looking around, Maria slowly got out of the car. It was nice enough, but a frown moved over her face. “What are we doing here? This isn’t a construction job, so it has to be something else…a new case?”

“Nope.” Michael grabbed their bags, placing them on the sidewalk for the porter to load in a tram. “This is where we were going.”

“Michael…”

He ignored her and helped load the bags. Taking her hand, he dragged her behind him. Maria was slow, so he had to pull her along as she looked around, still asking questions.

“May I help you?”

“Reservations for Guerin.”

“One moment, Sir.” Maria took a small trip from his side. Wandering over to a billboard announcing a party and reception, she smiled. The American Orient Express tour. Taking a brochure, she rejoined Michael as he took their hotel key. They patiently waited as an elderly couple with the man using a walker took the first available elevator.

“Michael, look at this! I always wanted to go to the Grand Canyon . God knows the last time I drove to Utah , it was at night, and when we drove back we came through Colorado .”

“Uh huh.” Michael ushered her towards the elevator, listening as she read the brochure, waxing poetic over the sheer romanticism of it all. Rolling his eyes, he noticed a woman heading for their elevator in an ugly hat with a peacock plume. Frantically pushing the button, the doors were closing, but at the last minute a tip of an umbrella bumped the elevator cushions reopening the door.

“Mortie! I got us an elevator!” The woman pushed her way into the car as Michael quickly pulled Maria back against him in safety. She smiled at Michael and Maria, sticking her head out of the car. “Mortie!”

Michael had not seen the famed Mortie, but when he did, it was beyond his expectations. Beefy, that was a good word to describe the man. He was a mountain, towering well over six feet, even over Michael’s six-three. Add in the three times Michael’s girth, and Mortie was not a man, he was actually a moose. He was carrying a portable television with a game on it. Michael reassessed his first impression as the man moved the monitor around so Michael could see the game too. The man was okay.

Granted, he and his wife took up more than half of all the room in the elevator, but they were from Altoona , PA , so that was totally forgivable.

Maria waited until the porter delivered their bags and the door closed before lifting a brow at her husband. Standing in the middle of the room, her hands were across her stomach reflexively.

“Michael?”

“What?”

“You want to tell me what we’re doing here?”

Michael shrugged, putting his bag on the bed to unpack. He had to find something to wear for the reception and dinner.

“Michael?”

Sighing he pointed at the brochure she was still holding. “I thought we could take a train ride.”

“Train ride?” Maria stared at the brochure for a moment. “Michael, you have to reserve the seats and accommodations. It cost money.”

“I know. I paid for it last week when I got the check from that guy in Seattle, the one with the…”

“I remember the case.” Maria tapped a nail against her teeth. “You reserved the trip?” Michael shrugged. “All by yourself?”

Michael made a face at her and the tone of disbelief. “I’m not a total retard. I can make reservations. I even know how to sign a check.”

“And there is no great mystery? No case?”

“Nope.”

“Vacation?” Michael grabbed his bathroom kit.

“That’s right, and you might want to consider changing for dinner.”

Maria was not through with him. “Wait, a vacation with just you and me, no case, no business, no ulterior motive…alien hunting?”

“Maria, do you want to go on vacation or not?”

Maria quickly scanned the brochure again, making a mental count. “Eight days! This is an eight day tour.” Closing the brochure and shaking it at him. “Michael, there are other people on this tour. People who will talk to us. Expect you to talk back, converse. Be pleasant.”

“I know that!”

Maria went over to her irritated husband. “You’re going to hate every second.”

“Absolutely.”

Maria could not take it. It was too much. Dropping to the floor, she quickly looked under the bed.

“What are you doing?” He helped her to her feet.

“Pods. Body snatchers. Someone stole my husband.” Maria looked at him amused, the dimple on her cheek deepening. “Oh, I forgot. You’re one of the original pod people.”

“Funny.” Michael made a face at her, hiding a smile, he pinched her side.

Maria danced away laughing, getting into the fun of being on vacation, carefree and young. Her laughter increased at the look on his face. “I’m sorry! It’s just…just…so romantic!”

Michael grimaced. He had enough. Taking himself off to shower, he planned to castigate himself thoroughly for his moment of whimsical weakness. He would start by using all the hot water.

Maria sat down on the bed barely noticing the bathroom door partially closing to block the sound of the running shower. Reading the brochure again, she reached for the phone to call Liz and tell her all about it, when reality hit.

“Michael! Oh god! This is a formal dining affair…I, I haven’t a damn thing to wear!”

 

So notoriety comes with a price, and that price is usually a loss of privacy. Over the last few years I have given up a lot to pursue my calling as an alien investigator. Now obviously I could merely refer to myself as an ‘investigator’ and though that would be true, it would not entirely be correct. For, I am indeed, an alien. The importance of recognizing all relevant facts can not be overstressed. It is with all information presented that a true and valid deduction can be made. I am not an alien because I am an investigator, nor am I an investigator because I am alien. Neither is dependent on the other, and yet, I am both. My abilities as a trained observer are neither dependent on my human nature nor my alien. I can only report that I am what I am, and that is something I have learned to appreciate.

I always present myself fully as both, not because I must, but rather because it is correct. There have been times in my life, as there are in other's, that I had wished to be more than I am. In the same token and regard, there had been times when I wished to be less. I can honestly say that at this time in my life, and much to my amazement, I am exactly what I want to be, where I want to be, with whom I want to be, and I am happy.

I have, in some magical, unknown manner, found myself somewhere that my alien siblings and human friends still struggle to achieve. Believe me, this does not in any way denote me as being better, smarter and or above my counterparts. Actually, it has always been the opposite.

If I may tender this as my understanding of my life and me, then please take it thus. I was given less. I never had the fortune to be adopted into a nice home, with loving parents, and in a position in society affording me with advantages. I was dumped in an abusive foster home, motherless, and unloved. Specifically, the only things I had were my belief that I belonged with Max and Isabel and they were my family, my siblings. In that thought, I actually was spared the feeling of being completely alone. Finally, there was this idea that I belonged somewhere, to someone, to a place that was my real home, and that I was not forgotten, but rather… lost. I had to believe that, needed to believe.

Therefore, with this in mind, I can say why I have succeeded where Max, Isabel and the others have not, with the exception of my trusty assistant. I expected less. My expectations were low, but my dreams high. That dream was extremely lofty. I was looking for home. Strange that when I discovered it, it was nothing as I had imagined, the very thing in front of my face, and so easy to find once I allowed myself to reach out and actually take it. I found Maria. She was my home. Once I discovered and accepted her, all the other parts of my life fell into place. That simple.

Therefore, I know, that once my brother and sister find inside themselves the truth of what they need or are searching to find, they will achieve what I have. There is no conceit or false modesty in this, but rather, mere truth. It’s out there. They can find it if they really believe.

So to this unexpected surprise vacation, I have to defend my actions to say that when you have a happy home, then in turn you are a happy person. My home is Maria, and I know, no matter how much a nightmare this will be for me, that this vacation will make her happy. That means everything.

Over the past month or so, I have come to notice that my home was being invaded. Maria’s time and energies deflected by interlopers away from me, and our lives. People were demanding my time as well. This was a solution. A proverbial two birds with one stone. It gives me time alone away from annoying people and gives me time with my mate, making her happy at the same time.

You might consider this romantic, but stop sniveling and wake up to facts. This is not romantic. It is merely a choice destined to stop an impinging madness. Some days I really do regret the burden I carry being alien investigator, and I do wish for a lifestyle less notorious. Other days, I am happy just being me, Michael Guerin, the World’s Greatest Alien Investigator.

 

“Michael, stop it.”

“What?”

Maria smiled slightly, ruffling his hair. They had lit candles in their bedroom and room service had delivered a bottle of sparkling apple juice, on ice. Playing with his hair, her fingers moved over his face, closing her eyes to the rasp of his whiskers on her skin.

“Stop sulking.”

“I don’t sulk. What the hell kind of word is that anyway?”

“A nice descriptive one. You too are sulking.” Maria kissed the top of his head. “More people than you expected?”

Michael groaned, comfortably burying his head into her body. “God, doesn’t anyone have to work anymore? They should have mentioned the size of this tour!”

“Everyone seemed very nice.”

Pushing up a bit, Michael moved over her body until he had her trapped under him on the bed.  “I should protest. Bet I could get back part of our money!”

“For what?”

“Misrepresentation. Nowhere in that entire brochure did I see mention of the entire frickin’ state of Arizona coming with us.”

Maria made a phishing noise in her throat. “You’re being ridiculous.” She feathered her fingers through his hair and lifted up to kiss his throat. Sighing contently, she was happy. She liked him ridiculous, relaxed, and happy enough to complain.

 

~~~

 

“Maria!  Michael!”  Maria pinched Michael’s side when he swore under his breath at the sight of Marge and Mortie Schultz racing towards them.

“Be nice,” she said, rubbing his arm. Michael snorted. Yeah. Right.

“Maria, you and Michael must sit with us during lunch! Mortie and I noticed that you both have ‘M’ names just like us. Isn’t that sweet?” Marge pushed her large bag into Mortie’s hands as she took Maria’s arm to lead her towards the restaurant, La Casa Sena. Michael followed at a slower pace as he became trapped behind the elderly couple they met the day before, the husband still trying to navigate his walker through the crowds.

Maria smiled pleasantly enough. “We’d love to dine with you.” Ignoring her husband’s look of irritation, Maria and Marge discussed the tour of the old plaza.

“Maria…” Michael said as they walked to their table.

“After lunch, I promise. We’ll go do something alone.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.”

Michael sighed. What was he thinking? Marge spotted another couple from Florida and invited them along as well. Groaning, he gritted his teeth as Maria’s hand took his in comfort, giving him an encouraging squeeze.

 

~~~

 

Once they arrived in Albuquerque from Sante Fe, transferring from the motorcoach to the train, Michael breathed easier. They were in their own rooms. He had booked them a deluxe suite. Escaping into the bathroom, Michael slowly put away the bathroom items, hoping the other passengers would forget that he and Maria existed. As far as he could tell, they were the youngest couple on the tour, and the older couples seemed determined to keep an eye on them.

“Michael, you want to go check out the train? They have a nice lounge car and the dining car is…”

Before Michael could respond there was knocking on their door. Michael’s hand snuck out of the bathroom to cover Maria’s mouth before she could respond. Pulling her into the small bathroom with him, he quietly shut the door quickly kissing her.

“Maria? Michael? It’s Edna and Marge!” The two women outside waited patiently knocking again, when they got no response.

“Maybe they already went to the lounge car, Edna.”

“You’re probably right.”

Michael released Maria’s mouth, mating his forehead to hers as they both breathed deeply. “I’m not going to make it. This is only day two, and that leaves six more days of torture.”

“You’re doing good.” Maria said. He was doing better than she'd ever imagined. “I’ll help you get through it.”

“How?”

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pushed him into the bathroom wall. “I’ll show you.” Maria kissed him deeply, her hand slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “Didn’t we have an agreement? You make me happy, and I return the favor.”

Michael stared down at her mouth, watching it come closer. “You definitely make me happy,” he said against her mouth.

 

~~~

 

On the third day, Michael convinced Maria to forgo the organized tour of the Grand Canyon and go off alone with him to explore. They spent most of the day climbing and sitting high off the canyon walls as Maria read information about the geology of the area to Michael. They were late getting back to the train, and walked into the dining car as the other passengers were already eating. The train was making its way towards Cedar City .

“Maria!” Marge quickly pulled Maria into an empty space forcing Michael to join them. “You two were so bad! Going off all alone, you missed all the fun.”

“Fun? The tour?” Maria asked, handing Michael the menus so he could order for them. Marge was too distracting and she needed to eat. Michael knew what she liked.

“No!” Marge leaned in and Edna joined her, both of them excited and whispering loud. Maria frowned as she tried to understand what they were saying as both women talked at the same time.

“Jensen.” Maria repeated. It had something to do with the Jensens from Port Washington .

“All his money was gone, and a watch, Carol’s jewelry, and a few other personal items.”

Maria looked at Michael helplessly. Michael was for once listening intently. “Someone picked his pocket on the tour?” Michael asked.

“No,” said Mortie, pausing in his eating. “It was taken from their stateroom. The porter, Stan, says that his keys are missing…stolen!”

Edna put a hand on her chest. “Imagine that, a thief on board with us! Isn’t it exciting?”

“Yes, exciting.” Maria frowned and looked at Michael. She lifted an eyebrow.

“No. We’re on vacation.” Michael said, and Maria breathed easier. Good. She would not mind helping, but this was their first vacation free of detection.

Mortie waved his fork at the table. “Thing is everyone was on the tour, except you two, and all the staff was accounted for, so they are uncertain who it could be.”

“Damn, do you think they suspect me and Michael, since we were off alone?” Maria asked, biting her lip. That would not improve Michael’s impatience.

“I doubt it.” Marge said in comfort. “We saw the two of you quite a few times today. Your walking tour was higher up than ours, but you were pretty visible most of the day.”

Maria cleared her throat, her skin pinking up. “You were watching us?”

Edna and Marge both sighed. “So romantic!”

Michael put a hand over his mouth as Maria’s mouth opened then closed. They did take a rather long, and involved, lunch break. He could almost hear the wheels in his wife’s head clicking as she recalled their day, her cheeks becoming redder. Passing his glass of water to her, he encouraged her to drink. Maria sputtered in the water when Marge sighed, “Newlyweds.”

“Oh, God!” Maria said dramatically, shooting daggers at Michael who suddenly found his humor and was laughing softly under his breath.

 

~~~

 

By day five of the tour, Michael had taken to hiding from the other passengers. He calmly walked the passages with Maria, pulling her back as others passed them, but he pretty much kept to himself.

“Mrs. Parish, let me help you with that!” Maria helped the small elderly woman with a walker.

“Thank you, dear.” The woman smiled as Michael took the walker from Maria and quickly folded it up to lean against the wall. “You’re both so sweet. My poor Carl, he hates that walker, but he can’t get around without it. All these years with it, you would think he’d be more comfortable with it.”

Maria nodded at Mrs. Parish, trying desperately to find small talk. “Did you enjoy the tour today?”

“Oh we never go on the tours. Carl can’t get around. No, we’re content to enjoy the scenery from here, staying closer to home.” Maria smiled at the elderly man already seated at the dining table. “Would the two of you like to join us?”

Michael quickly interceded. Maria was a soft touch. “Actually, I asked the steward to set us up a special table tonight.”

“Of course, dear, Carl and I understand. Why it wasn’t so long ago that we were newlyweds.” Michael lifted a brow to that. He bet they were not a day under seventy.

Maria started to correct the woman’s assumption that they were newlyweds, but Michael quickly culled her away from the group. They took their special table for the two of them, in a nice dark corner of the dining car, away from the regular noise.

“All the group interaction getting to you, Spaceboy?”

“It is…difficult.”

Maria laughed. “Strange how they all believe we’re newlyweds. I keep trying to tell them we’ve been married for years, but they don’t seem to notice.”

Michael shrugged it off.

“So Edna was telling me today that six more staterooms were burglarized. The porter and steward are talking to a young man who is deadheading to Salt Lake City . He says he's innocent.

Michael grunted as he read the menu. Nothing was appealing. “You think the fish is fresh, or frozen.”

“Fresh. I don’t think at these prices they’re going to serve fish sticks.”

“I like fish sticks with extra Tabasco .”

Maria looked around. “Speaking of Tabasco , I think I need a bedtime drink of chocolate milk and Tabasco . You think we can talk Stan into setting that up for me?”

Michael looked at his wife critically. “You feeling okay? The motion of the train isn’t bothering your stomach?”

“No. I’m fine. I think we’re safely past all the morning sickness.”

“Thank god!” Michael could not handle much more. It was hard to see her sick. Half the time he felt guilty, and the rest he was worried something was wrong. It was great to be out of the first trimester, but that meant they were getting closer to the delivery date. Michael frowned.

“Michael, do you think it’s a staff member or a guest? I mean, a guest could steal the porter’s keys, and be entering other rooms when no one is around.”

“Don’t know. Don’t care. I haven’t given it much thought.” Michael quickly gave the steward their orders and went back to reading the itinerary. “Tomorrow we’re in Yellowstone , and tomorrow night we stay at the Jackson Lake lodge. You want to run away from all the tours for a few hours? Maybe check out the night life, and stargaze or something.”

“A lodge in the woods? Oh, I think we can definitely find a ‘something’ to do.” Maria grabbed Michael’s hand. “Did I thank you for this trip?”

“A few times.” Threading his fingers with hers, he looked at their hands. His was so much larger than hers, but she held so much in the tiny vessels. “I’m always willing to let you continue, though. I wouldn’t want to stifle self-expression.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.”

 

~~~

 

On their way back to their room, Maria and Michael met the Parishes again. The elderly woman was trying to maneuver her husband through the narrow passage, and she dropped her bag. Maria quickly knelt to help her while Michael helped Mr. Parish to their room.

It was not hard to imagine why the elderly couple was set on getting out of the corridor as a loud argument from the end of the car exploded into an angry tirade. A young man pushed past them and continued on to the next car.

Stan was still putting down their bed when they entered the room. He looked embarrassed to see them.

“Sorry, sir. I was distracted earlier, so I’m running behind.” Stan smiled at Maria. “I got the request from the steward about your milk. I’ll bring it by in an hour if that's acceptable.”

“Thank you, Stan.” Maria clicked a nail against her tooth in thought. “Was that young man the deadhead everyone is questioning?”

“Yes. He's only been on rail service for a year. His usual run is the California Zephyr and the Capital run from Chicago to Washington , D.C. I guess he has a sister in Sante Fe, so he deadheaded on this trip so he could visit.”

Michael was listening as he gathered up some clothing they had tossed about the room. “So does he work this train during this trip?”

“He was assigned to help me out if I needed it, but mostly deadheads enjoy the free ride. It’s nice to have extra hands.”

“I can imagine.”

Stan finished up. “I feel for the kid. He had no black marks on his record, and this really is a dark spot. There's no proof that he's entering the rooms, but he did have access to my keys. I tend to believe his assertions that he's innocent.”

“Have they recovered any of the items stolen?”

Stan shook his head no. “We’ve discretely searched all the cabins, but there's only so much we can do without overstepping the bounds of invasion of privacy. It looks bad for the kid, since the staff on this run have been together for years without incident. Whoever is doing this is moving quickly. We’ve been watching, and nothing seems out of the ordinary.”

Michael thanked the porter as he left. He seemed lost in thought.

“What are you thinking?”

Michael shrugged. “I think people see what they want to see, and it’s not unusual to overlook what seems improbable.”

 

I realize that Maria, my trusty assistant and wife, is dying to question me about my thoughts on this case, which is not really a case. I am on vacation. There is always a sense that a person must do what they must at all times. This is a weighty sentiment that has nothing to do with real life. Believe me, it is easier to turn a blind eye and refuse to be inconvenienced.

I have my own concerns right now, and whereas the mystery of the missing keys and the deadhead do at times tickle my interest, I am determined to remain impartial and outside this mess. As I mentioned before, notoriety has a downfall, namely the lack of privacy. Here on this train, I am merely a paying customer, and for once, I like the taste of normal.

Maria is different. I am coming to suspect that I have trained her too well. Her mind is completely engaged in the excitement of this mystery along with the other passengers, and I can see her dying to force me to confess my observations.

I refuse to be drawn into this business that has nothing to do with me, at least not until someone makes it otherwise.

 

Maria sat polishing off her ice cream, having indulged in two ice cream sundaes while listening to Marge, Edna, and Carol talking. They paused only once over the use of Tabasco on her food, but she calmly explained she was four months pregnant, and once the mothering ended, they happily accepted that her strange tastes were hormonal driven.

“I think that young man looks very devious.” Carol sniffed. “They searched his belongings and did not find my jewelry, but still…”

“He could be innocent.” Maria suggested.

“Oh! That makes it so much more delicious,” said Marge. “My Mortie thinks it's the porter, Stan. Obviously, he's trying to push this on that poor young boy. Did you see him? He needs a good mother. I bet his mother doesn’t even know where he is.”

“He was visiting his sister in Sante Fe,” Maria offered.

“There you go! He's probably a runaway, joined the rail, and needed help to find his way home. Poor lamb.” Marge shook her head tragically. “A boy that doesn’t even call his own mother. What is this world coming to? My own sweet son, Richie, hasn’t bothered to pick up the phone in a month! I could be dead in my bed for all he cares. Serves him right if I should meet a tragic end here on this train!”

Edna held her heart. “I know! My Winston, he’s always so busy. Does he even know I’m gone? I honestly didn’t think a train ride would be so…” Edna struggled for a word.

“Perilous?” Maria suggested.

The woman hit Maria’s hand in thanks. “Exactly! Perilous. I saw the movie! There isn’t even a Hercules here to save us from being murdered in our beds.” The rest nodded in agreement.

Carol sniffed, looking at the others. “I never had a son, three daughters.” The group commiserated her lack of a son. Maria watched, amused, thinking about a piece of that wonderful sponge cake she had the previous night drenched in a raspberry sauce with extra whipped topping.

“Um, excuse me?” Maria looked around, perhaps just a small sliver. She was starving.

“Maria, does Michael call his mother often? He looks like such a fine son.”

Maria shook her head. “Michael never had a mother. He was in foster care until he was sixteen.”

Carol placed a hand on her chest, that poor child…motherless. “Was he adopted?”

“No. He petitioned the courts for emancipation. His home life wasn’t…he was better off on his own.” Maria saw their looks, and she swore under her breath. Oh, Michael was going to hate this. “Of course, my mother thinks of him as a son, and they have a really close relationship.” The three women breathed easier. As did Maria, who was not looking forward to explaining why Michael suddenly found himself smothered in the three women’s mothering care.

“There's your groom now! Oh, he has that appearance. I think he's looking for you, Maria.” Marge had a twinkle in her eye.

“Marge, I told you. Michael and I aren’t newlyweds. We’ve been married for years, and we've been together practically since we were fifteen, almost ten years.”

Marge patted Maria’s hand, her eyes suddenly wise and serious. “That doesn’t matter, honey. This is your first child, right?” Maria nodded. What did that have to do with anything? “Well there you go. It’s hard on men with their first. They suddenly realize that it's no longer going to be just you and him, but rather, he will have to share you with someone else, someone more vulnerable and needy, if you can believe it. It takes a little adjusting. Almost ten years of your undivided attention is a hard thing to lose.”

Carol nodded. “He has that hungry look about him, that need to have your attention only.”

Exclusive, Michael was losing his exclusive rights to her time, and in truth, it started happening since Isabel and Jesse got Simon. The constant calls and interruptions, and when it wasn't Isabel, it was Liz or Max. Maria stared at them, and then at Michael. Closing her eyes for a moment, she rubbed her forehead. How could she miss that?

“Ladies, excuse me.” Forgetting the sponge cake she ordered, Maria went to Michael. Taking his hand, she led him out of the lounge car. The older women watched them with smiles on their faces, and when Maria’s third dessert arrived, they each grabbed a spoon and shared it.

 

~~~

 

Michael allowed Maria to drag him back to their room. Frowning when he saw the Parishes coming out of a room, he easily detoured Maria around them.

“Maria? What is it?” He slid the door shut, his hands coming to rest on her waist spanning her small body. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm, fine.” Her arms went up around his neck as her mouth found the side of his neck. “I thought you were hiding out with Mortie catching the latest game.”

“I was, but decided I better check on you, make sure you didn’t eat all the desserts available on the train.”

Maria laughed, charmed by how well he knew her. Kissing him again, she moved backward to the sofa that made into a bed. It took a moment, as she looked to the side, to realize what was missing on the low table next to the sofa.

“Michael, where are my wedding rings?” Michael was busy moving his mouth up her neck, his hands already unfastening the front of her dress. “Michael?”

“Hmm?”

“My wedding rings. I left them on the table.” Maria sat up again, moving him off her as she looked under the table and on the floor. “Did you pick them up?”

“No.” Michael noticed how upset Maria was getting so he quickly searched the floor, the bathroom, and rang for Stan. “Maybe Stan placed them somewhere when he made up the room.”

“They were just there, over an hour ago.”

“Why did you take them off? You never take them off.”

“Normally, I don’t, but this morning my hands were swollen. I think the change in altitude and climate, or many I’m retaining water from the pregnancy.” Maria’s heart was beating in her throat; she could feel her emotions fraying. “My wedding rings! You picked them out special…if I lost them…”

Michael grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. “Stop it. I’ll find them.”

Stan knocked on the door. “Did you need something Mr. Guerin?”

Michael quickly explained the situation and together, he and Stan searched the compartment while a distraught Maria watched, convinced her rings were forever lost. They were not there. Michael looked over at Maria, and despite her efforts to stay calm, he could see the tears in her eyes. Sighing, he resigned himself to the inevitable. He was going to have to meddle.

“C’mon. Don’t cry.” Michael took Maria’s hand and went to get her rings back. Stan followed them, confused by where Michael was taking Maria.

“The thief stole my rings! You told me to leave nothing valuable in the room, and I should’ve gave you my rings.”

“Maria, calm down. I’m getting them back.”

“You’re going to work the case?”

Michael sighed, scratching his brow. “Yeah, sorry about that. I promised you a vacation with no detection, but this will only take a moment, I promise.”

“I don’t care about the vacation! I care about my rings. I loved them…because you gave them to me.”

Michael entered the lounge car with Maria and Stan, and he looked around, quickly finding what he was looking for. Maria frowned when they stopped next to the Parishes.

“You know,” said Michael. “I wasn’t going to concern myself with this incident since no one asked me to help, but when you took Maria’s rings, you made this personal. She’s very emotional lately…”

“It’s the pregnancy,” Maria offered in her defense.

“She’s emotional, and this would ruin her entire vacation. I didn’t suffer through seven days of sheer hell to have this become the worse moment of her life. Give her back her rings, so I don’t have to get nasty.”

“You wouldn’t like him nasty!” Maria threatened, but she quickly lowered her voice, and whispered to Michael, “Are you sure? I mean they’re old people.”

Michael rolled his eyes. All these years, you would think his trusty assistant would learn to trust him without question. Taking the walker, he ignored the protests from the Parishes. Unscrewing the end of leg, he poured out jewelry and cash. He found Maria’s wedding rings in the third leg.

“My rings!” Maria quickly went to retrieve them, but Michael beat her swiping them up off the floor, and the other pile of ill-gotten loot.

Taking her hand, he slowly put them back where they belonged, the place he originally put them a few years ago. Kissing her hand, he told her, “Let’s keep them where they belong.”

Maria kissed him hard, not caring who was watching. “I love you!”

The Parishes never made it to Salt Lake City . The authorities in Wyoming decided to offer them their hospitality, and the deadhead, vindicated of all allegations sat back and enjoyed the remainder of the trip. They found the porter’s keys in Mrs. Parish’s bag, and actually, Maria had picked them off the floor when Mrs. Parish spilled her purse.

 

~~~

 

Michael looked at his watch not in the least bit discretely. Sighing, he answered everyone’s questions.

“So what made you suspect them first? I mean, they were so old and slow. I’d never imagine them possible of doing such a thing.” Marge said as she ate her second slice of pineapple upside down cake.

“That looks really good!” Maria looked around for the steward. Maybe, just one more dessert wouldn't hurt. Michael put her hand down, holding it firmly in his. “Michael, I want…”

“You already had three. You didn’t even finish your meal.”

Maria’s nose wrinkled. Huffing she resigned herself to no more dessert. It was hard to understand, but she had an insatiable desire for sweet, spicy, and salty. Meat and vegetables did not belong in any of those categories, so she tended to not finish her meals.

“Peanuts?”

“Maria, stop distracting Michael.” Marge said. “Well,” she smiled pleadingly at Michael.

“They moved too slow. Mrs. Parish said that her husband had been using the walker for ten years, and yet it was new, too heavy for him to move comfortably, and he walked awkwardly with it.”

“That’s it?” Mortie snorted. Hell, he could have figured that out.

“That, and I folded up the walker for them. When I picked it up, I noticed the heavy weight, which was not evenly distributed to every leg of the walker. One at the time was still hollow.” Michael scratched his brow, frowning. Maria needed to be in bed soon. “Also, they never went on the tours because of Carl not being able to keep up, so they were left behind often, giving them access to the staterooms.”

“Oh!” said the group, seemingly happy with Michael’s explanation. Stan had informed them that according to the authorities, the husband and wife team had a long sheet as frauds and pickpockets.

“So like Hercules!” said Carol.

Maria waited until they were almost back to their room before she made a comment. She stared down the corridor that they had seen the Parishes exiting before. “You saw them coming out of a room that wasn’t theirs.”

“Yep. And Mr. Parish wasn’t using his walker.”

“You didn’t mention that to the group.”

Michael snorted. “A good investigator does not have to reveal all his techniques.”

“Uh huh.” Maria hid a smile. ”People don’t see what they believe to be improbable.”

“Exactly. They had the perfect camouflage. Who is going to suspect a couple in their seventies?”

Maria made a distracted noise in her throat. She was staring at her rings. “Thank you, Michael. Thank you for finding my rings.”

“I wouldn’t have let them take them, don’t worry.”

“I know, but you didn’t want this to be ruined by work, and…”

“It’s okay. I don’t like to see you unhappy. We’ve done that enough in our past.”

“We have.” Maria licked her lips. “Do you even know why you brought me on vacation?”

“Of course I do. I’m the World’s Greatest…”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard.” Maria pulled him down on the bed made up for them; it was their last night on the train. Searching his eyes, she touched his face, her hands moving gently over the features. “You could have told me that you were having problems.”

Michael made a face. “I’m not really.” His hand went to her stomach. “I had a hand in this too, remember? I was fully aware what making a baby entailed.”

“Then what's bothering you?” Michael sat away from her and Maria frowned as his eyes became suspiciously bright. “Can’t you tell me?”

“Maria…” Michael cleared his throat. “I…I know that having children today, it’s not such a dangerous prospect for women, not like it use to be.”

“But?”

“No one knows about an alien child.” Michael closed his eyes for a moment. “Sometimes, I think about losing you, waking up one day, you’re gone, and I can’t…” Michael stopped talking for a moment. He swallowed hard. He couldn't finish it. He couldn't breathe. The thought…

He was afraid. Not of being a father, or sharing her, he was afraid of her dying.

Maria went to touch him, but her hands fell to her lap and she looked at them. She could not offer him any reassurances. She didn't know. He didn't know. That was the problem. They were facing a world of possibilities.

“I can’t promise you that I’ll be okay.” Michael nodded. He knew that. “Michael…” She finally touched him. “I can promise you that no matter what happens, I wanted this more than anything. I wanted to have this part of you in me, and if for unseen reason it goes terribly wrong, for me, it will be worth it. You’re worth it to me.”

Michael made a sound of distress and quickly kissed her. Mating their foreheads, he breathed in deeply. “I’m afraid. You know how hard that is for me to admit.”

“I know.”

“I keep feeling that there's so little time left, and I had so much I wanted to do with you, and what if…”

“I’m not afraid.” Maria said quickly. Michael stopped talking for a moment. “It’s important that you know, that I’m not in the least bit worried. I know this is going to go perfect, and we’ll have a baby that will so quickly be grown and ready to leave home. One day we’ll wake up, and wonder where all the time went, and how it slipped away unseen.”

Michael paled. “Leave home…”

“They do that. Usually around the age of eighteen, or so I’ve been told.”

Michael swore, standing up, he paced the room. “You can’t just unload these things on me! You know I don’t handle change well.”

“Eighteen years, Michael, is a long time to adjust to the fact your child will leave home. That is hardly an abrupt change.” Michael snorted in derision. Great, now she gave him an entirely different scenario to work himself into a worried frenzy.

Maria fluffed the pillows, stealing his as she lay back on the bed listening to him obsessing over possible traumas and obstacles. Life was good.

 

This started as a comment on notoriety, and the cost associated with it. Actually, it was more a comment on how easy it is in life to become complacent and settled to the point that you forget to notice what is important. I believed that there would never be a day that I would not have my trusty assistant in my life, and suddenly I was hit by the possibility that might not be so.

Perhaps it started when Simon lost his mother, Carly Garcia. She was there one day, and gone the next, and he, a small child, was alone. It might have been Isabel’s fear of losing Simon, a child of her heart that she had just found. I do not know. Max and Liz broke up, and somehow something that seemed unbreakable was. It was a reality check that I was not living in this perfect world, and things happen, things go wrong.

I would never be able to express in words to Maria how destroyed I would be to lose her, but I see it every day when I look in my brother, Max’s, eyes. There is a creeping despair, loneliness, and a lack of life and ambition. I look in his eyes since he lost Liz and I see the shell I would be if Maria were to pass from mine.

I love the idea of being a father, but if I had to choose between my child and Maria… Maria would win. I can father other children, adopt, or learn to be content without them, but I could never learn to survive without Maria.

It is an amazingly stark reality to realize that you opened your life and heart so completely for one person, that without them in your life… there is no life. Maria DeLuca-Guerin has become my one irreplaceable item. In this realization, I believe I have found an understanding, a kinship to Max, one that I have not had in years. I do not care what it takes, I will help him find his way back to Liz, because in my world, my life, having Maria at my side is as natural as seeing Max with Liz. I do not want to lose anything, not anymore.

Therefore, this ends the case of the conductor's keys, and the deadhead that split east from west. I have to say that it does not matter where you travel, or how you get there, once you are there, then there you will be. That is a nutshell of my life. I traveled long and hard, and when I got there, to Maria, it was where I was, and where I wanted to be.

 

TBC: Cases of the Key Missing A Lock, which I would call, The Case of the Key Lacking A Container, Or A Will To Find It… but since my assistant is watching… let’s just call it, The Case of the Key Missing A Lock