By
Belit
Disclaimer:
Don’t own them. Don’t want them.
Rating:
NC-17
Summary:
I am a mean writer, so you don’t get one.
Author’s
Note: So… Another story before I could finish
Timeless. What can I say, they just keep coming…
Warning:
I tend to write M&M a little –okay,
that’s a lie, a LOT- out of character. Why not do it when I have the
power, right?
Maria
took one last look around the bar to see if she'd left anything out of place,
and walked towards Lucy to let her know she was heading out. She found her
talking to a handsome guy, smiling at him flirtatiously as she played with her
red curls. Maria snickered. Nothing new there.
Giving
the guy a fake smile, she pulled Lucy towards the door with her. “Hey,
what's your problem?
Maria
rolled her eyes. “You can't be serious! What is he, a jock?”
Waving
at the guy, Lucy answered her through gritted teeth. “What's wrong with
jocks?”
“Hello?
Luce? They tend to have no brains?”
“But
they're good in bed,” Lucy said playfully, her blue eyes shining with
mischief. “How was Daniel?” she added, knowing the answer already from
Maria's pissy mood that day.
“I
wouldn’t know…”
“And
why is that?”
“I
don’t have to sleep with every guy I date.”
“Well,
you know, you’ll have to sleep with one
of them eventually! Why not Daniel? Why not any of them?”
Since
Maria looked pissed and at a loss for words, Lucy continued. “You're not a
virgin, you're not gay… What's the problem?”
“There
is no problem.”
Lucy
gave her her best then why don’t I
believe you look, and sighed with resignation. They had had that
conversation at least twenty times. It was always the same. Lucy would find
her a guy –really nice ones, some of them tested by herself-
she would push her to date, just to find out that she hadn't even
kissed the guy goodnight. And when she asked, there never was a plausible
answer.
“Sometimes
I think you're having a secret relationship or something…”
Maria
laughed a little too loud at that comment, and felt a strong urge to leave the
bar. Kissing Lucy on the cheek, she turned away before anyone could see her
blush. “I'll see you tomorrow Luce!”
-
- -
Arriving
at her apartment fifteen minutes later, she found herself relaxing with the
familiarity of the place. She loved her apartment. She had saved all her money
for years to buy it. It had been her dream for so long.
It
was small, big enough for one person. A studio, with only one bedroom. Her
bathroom was large, that was one of the reasons that attracted her to the
place. There was a big tub, just ideal for her long bubble baths. And then
there was the garden. That was the real reason for this place being a dream
come true.
Both
the living room and the bedroom had doors for the garden. It wasn’t big, but
it was hers. She had one tree and a swing. She had always wanted one when
she'd been a kid. The rest was just plain grass, where she could lie on her
back and watch the stars at night.
She
had thought for years that the apartment was
her dream. It had turned out that it was merely a step she had to take in
order to find her dream. She had found it, right there in her own garden. She
had found him.
-
- -
She
had a nightly routine. She ate her dinner, usually just a salad, she checked
her e-mail, there was usually nothing new there, she watched some TV, and she
took her bubble bath… Then lying in her bed, she waited, either sleeping or
awake. He came every night.
It
had been more than four months since their first night. The first night they'd
met, the first night she'd let him in, the first night they'd had sex… She
wasn’t sure about anything when it came to their relationship. She
couldn’t even be sure if it could actually be called a relationship. But she
knew one thing; she could never forget that night.
-
- -
It
was pouring outside, so she made herself a hot chocolate to sit and watch the
storm. It was beautiful. Lightning flashed in the sky, lighting up her garden
as if the sun had come up again. Before she knew what she was doing, she was
standing outside in the rain.
Her
flimsy t-shirt and shorts were doing nothing to protect her from the cold, and
her feet were bare, making funny noises in the mud. She let her hair down and
twirled in the mud, making it fly around her. It felt like a stolen moment
from her childhood. She felt carefree and happy.
She
was dancing to a song in her head when she saw the figure standing under her
tree. She panicked at first, but then thought that it could just be someone
trying to get away from the rain. Her garden wasn’t really hard to enter. He
could've seen the tree and…
She
walked closer to say something, but the look in his eyes stopped her before
she could utter a word. Chocolate brown eyes; beautiful, intense, deep… She
found herself staring just as intently as he was staring at her. Then before
she could gather what was happening, she was stepping closer and he was
pulling her.
Their
lips met in a ferocious kiss, and her whole body tingled from his touch. His
lips were incredibly soft under hers, and his kiss was demanding, hungry. Her
hands found their way around his neck to pull him as close as possible, and
when he pulled her up she didn’t protest, or even hesitate. She wrapped her
legs around his centre, and let herself get carried away.
When
they pulled away to breathe she could see the hesitation behind the apparent
lust in his eyes. She was too far gone to think about letting him walk away
now. Not before she could get what she needed from him. She kissed down his
neck and his collarbone, and heard him growl under his breath. She grinned to
herself, knowing that he wanted it as much as she did.
Somehow
he found his way to the swing and sat down with her in his lap. She was
laughing as she pulled his t-shirt up his head. She had never thought she'd
have sex on a swing. He had a slight smile too, and it made her wonder if he
ever did smile fully. His hands came up her sides, slowly lifting up the wet
cloth. His gaze never wavered from hers. Perhaps that was the reason of her
unconditional trust for him. He wasn’t focusing on her breasts, or her hips,
or just sex in general. His focus was always on her. On her eyes.
She
let him remove her t-shirt. Her body was trembling as he licked the rain water
off her skin. The contrast of the heat of his lips and the coolness of the
rain was making her dizzy. Not once did the fact that he was a stranger enter
her mind. His hands made her feel alive, and his eyes made her trust him. It
was all she needed.
She
had sex with him on her swing, without once talking to him, without knowing
his name. Their eyes never parted till they collapsed against each other in
exhaustion. They sat in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity,
and she forgot where she was, who she was, until he held her up and placed her
feet on the muddy ground.
Reality
came crashing back and she found herself unable to think rationally. Out of
the corner of her eye, she saw him get dressed so she moved for her clothes.
She found them on the ground, wet and muddy. There was no point in wearing
them when she could just go in and get new ones.
She
looked at him in confusion, and found him avoiding her eyes. She shook her
head. Wasn’t he even going to say thanks? She wasn’t expecting anything
meaningful coming out of a situation like that, but the least he could do was
say good bye. She fought the hurt feelings inside of her, and forced herself
to walk towards the door. She was feeling incredibly self-conscious, and her
legs were like jello from the powerful orgasm that had washed over her just
minutes before. It took her forever to reach the door.
She
felt his hands grip her waist just as she reached for the knob. She was
pissed, but he made her whole body tremble again with just one touch. He
turned her body to face him and pushed her wet hair away from her face with
the most tender touch she had ever felt. He was doing it again. His eyes…
They were telling her everything she wanted to hear without using any words.
So she kissed him again…
She
didn’t ask him anything, or demand him to talk as he carried her inside and
made love to her till the first lights of the new day. She just looked into
his eyes, and felt herself safe enough to fall asleep in his arms.
When
she woke up the next day, she had a smile on her face. She suspected
everything being a dream for a minute when she couldn’t find him next to
her. But the footprints on the floor, and the dirty sheets proved it to be
real.
Her
whole body was sore and bruised. She realised she didn’t even know his name.
But that didn’t stop her from wishing with all her heart that he'd come
back…
-
- -
He
kept coming to her every night. For four and a half months she shared her bed
with him, and she was planning on sharing it for as long as he kept coming. He
never spoke and she had learned not to push. She had asked once –okay, more
like demanded- to learn his name, and the fear she’d felt the night after
that when he didn’t show up was enough to stop her from asking anything
else.
She
ignored the question in her head. How long could this go on? She hadn't
brought anybody home since she'd met him, and never spent a night away. She
knew he would be worried if she wasn’t there. Or was this wishful thinking?
Was she like one of those women fooling themselves; he
loves me, he’ll get a divorce…
She
was pretty sure he wasn’t married. She even doubted that he had an
apartment. He really didn’t need one, since he was spending his nights with
her. He slept holding her every night regardless of they had sex or not. He
was a weird combination of violence and tenderness, and she was in love with
it.
She
was in love with him.
She
didn’t mention him to Luce, or anyone else. She knew what they'd say. Call
the cops, he can be a criminal, it’s dangerous, it’s insane… She had
told all that to herself a thousand times. It wasn’t working. She was beyond
all rational thought.
It
was hard to keep it a secret. He tended to leave marks on her. She knew he was
doing it intentionally, but she would never ask him to stop doing it. It was
the only commitment he was giving her. Maybe it was pathetic, but she
cherished it. She was taking what he had to offer.
It
was ironic that this was the most committed she'd ever been to anyone. There
had never been another man that kept her from seeing or wanting other people
for that long. And she had never been so sure of any other person’s feelings
for her. She'd never asked him to come, and he'd never had any other reason
for coming than to be with her. It appeared like a sex thing, but she knew it
was far from it. With him everything was different than it appeared. With him
everything was upside down.
Her
only problem was loneliness. Until the night came and she could hold him
again, she was the loneliest person on the planet. Then he would come, and he
would look in her eyes, and hold her, and everything would be perfect. Until
morning at least.
She
knew he was different. He was special. He was making her see things. Things
from inside his head. And he was giving her the ultimate mind blowing orgasms.
She wasn’t sure if he had realized that she knew about his differences, but
she was too scared to say anything. She was scared that he would run away.
Sex
was great. Actually great didn’t really cover it. She had no words to
explain its perfectness. But in less than a week after their first night, she
had realized that it had turned into something else. Something frighteningly more…
It
wasn’t about release when she touched him anymore. It was about him. About
feeling him against her, about knowing simply that he was there, about making
him completely hers even it was just for a night.
It
was an addiction. It was love. And it was making her more paranoid with every
passing day…
It
was late at night, and she was asleep. The soft breeze brushing her bare arms
woke her up. She had left the garden door unlocked for him. And now he was
there. He had come. She felt content, and waited patiently for him to undress
and slip under the covers to lie down next to her. Her mind was blurry with
sleep, but she willed herself to stay conscious long enough to feel his skin
against hers. His warmth…
She
listened as he removed his clothes, and walked around in the dark room. She
could almost see him in her mind. He was placing his clothes on top of her
chair –the one she was keeping there especially for him- just like she had
watched him do every night for more than four months.
The
bed shifted as he sat close to her resting body, clad only in her underwear.
He liked her like that. She knew it. He liked her black underwear, and he
liked removing them. He liked her almost naked even when he just wanted to
sleep next to her. He liked how she felt against him. She didn’t need him to
say it out loud to know. She knew it. She knew a lot of things he'd never
told.
She
felt the covers being pushed away and frowned. What was he doing? His body
moved and rested between her legs. She shifted slowly, and opened her legs
further apart to help his body nestle comfortably. She was confused. Something
had to be wrong. He was acting weird.
Her
eyes half opened when she felt his hot breath against her thigh. His lips, hot
and soft, trailed a path of fire up her inner thigh. Sleep was fast leaving
her mind. His lips… They could always make her lose control.
She
moaned in appreciation and let herself forget how unusual he was acting. His
hands travelled up her legs and lifting her hips, pulled her thong down. She
could only sigh when she felt him suck her flesh forcefully, and leave hickeys
in unexpected places. His mouth found the most sensitive spot of her inner
thigh, and finally her body found the strength to react to him. Now fully
awake with his actions, her hand found his hair and her fingers delved between
the soft spikes she loved to feel. His wild groan against her skin caused her
to shudder.
She
tried pulling him upwards, but he refused to face her so soon. His hands were
kneading her hips as he licked and nuzzled her navel, taking his time to leave
hickeys there too. There was a desperate urgency in his movements, Maria
noticed. The thought of something being wrong hit her blurry mind again, but
soon was pushed aside with the feel of his mouth on her breast.
Her
hands gripped his biceps, and for a moment she wondered if it was only his
body she loved so deliriously. Because she did. She loved every inch of his
body. He was perfect. His arms, his hands, his lips, his eyes…
She
had thought long and hard about that before. Was that only it? Was he a puppet
to her? Was she only loving him, because he was perfectly shaped? No one could
really blame her for being insecure about their so called relationship. She
knew absolutely nothing about his life. She had no idea what he was doing once
the sun came up. Could she really feel something real for someone she didn’t
know?
But,
no, that wasn’t true. She knew him. She knew him well, only on a different
level. She could always tell how he was feeling from a look he gave her. She
knew how he liked to be touched, and how he liked to touch her. She knew how
he liked to be held as he slept. She knew how much he liked to snuggle. And
she could always tell how his day had gone from the way he made love to her.
And judging from the way he bit her nipple forcefully, she could say without a
doubt that today had been bad. More than bad. Worse than any bad day he'd had
since she'd known him.
Covering
the sore nipple he'd been biting with his hand, his mouth found her other
breast, and continued his assault there. She was hurting, true, but it
wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. If he needed it, he could take it.
She was only worried about him.
Growling
deep in his throat, his mouth trailed up the smooth curve of her neck, nipping
and biting her flesh as he went up, closer and closer to her mouth. His lips
found hers after what seemed like an eternity, and she sighed with
contentment. His lips were moving furiously, and his tongue was violent and
demanding, but that taste… She knew that taste. It was her lover’s spicy
flavour, and as long as he was there with her, everything would be okay.
Entering
her with one hard stroke, he buried his face in her neck, between her golden
curls. His heart was racing in his chest, threatening to burst out any minute,
and he could feel sobs building in his throat. One lone tear found it’s way
down his cheek, and he bit her neck in order to not cry out. He forced his
lower body to move. As much as he wanted to stay in her unmoving for a
century, his time was rather short.
Wrapping
her legs around his hips, she let him move as fast as he liked. She could only
hope that this was what he needed, and not a substitution for something else.
Or maybe someone else… She was feeling desperate, stuck. She didn’t know
what was wrong, or how she could fix it. All she could do was to bite her lip
and stay quiet while all she really wanted was to yell at him, make him talk,
confess…
She
didn’t. She couldn’t. She just let him take it out on her. Whatever it
was…
-
- -
Lying
with his hot body spent on top of hers, Maria tried to piece together what had
happened. Tremors were still running through her body, and his hair and breath
tickling her neck was too much distraction to think rationally. Her body felt
sore all over. She knew she was covered in bruises, but didn’t care. All she
wanted was to know he was okay, and things were going to be normal again.
Well, as normal as they could get…
He
tried to move, but her hands on his bare back stopped him. He didn’t resist.
He just sighed and rested his head on her chest.
He
rose on his elbows when his body relaxed, and looked into her eyes. He could
see her concern, but he couldn’t even try to reassure her. It was futile.
She would find out soon enough.
He
smoothed down her wild curls, and pushed aside a couple of fallen strands from
her face. His hand stayed on her cheek, and caressed the soft ivory skin of
her porcelain doll-like face. His fingers grazed her pink pouting lips,
etching their every curve to his brain. He had to memorize, he had to
remember…
Maria
watched him avoid her eyes with a growing sense of despair. She came to the
verge of asking a thousand times, but held back with fear. What if she ruined
things more by talking? She knew from experience that he didn’t react well
to questions.
She
let him kiss away her fears. His lips, the same ones that had been demanding
only minutes ago, were worshiping her face with the most delicate kisses. Her
heart fluttered with hope. It was his way of apologising, so maybe things
could be okay now… Maybe it was over…
-
- -
They
laid in each others’ arms till sunrise, each holding the other as close as
they could get. She pretended to be asleep to avoid making him uncomfortable
with her demanding look. Because she knew she would
look demanding. She couldn’t help it, she needed
to know.
Feeling
his soft kisses all through the night hadn't helped her calm her nerves one
bit. Why was he like that? What was wrong? He didn’t wake her up for sex,
never before. He would come to bed, and hold her as they slept together if she
was already asleep when he arrived. Waking her up for sex? Biting her nipple
till he drew blood? Then kissing every inch of her skin softly as she slept?
That couldn’t be normal. That wasn’t normal. Something was terribly wrong.
She
was still going over the possible scenarios when sun shone through her bedroom
window. His arms tightened around her, and she thought she heard a soft sob
coming from him.
She
couldn’t open her eyes, she couldn’t move. Shock, fear, dread rushed
through her body as she refused to believe the drop of water on her shoulder
was his tear. Her heart constricted as she felt him remove his arms and get
out of the bed to get dressed.
She
wanted to scream at him while she still had the chance, but her body was still
dead on the bed. Their bed… She found herself unable to move, to talk, to
open her eyes, to breathe… A cold cloud of fear surrounded her.
The
bed shifted again as he sat down facing her, now dressed with his usual grungy
cloths, which always made her wonder where exactly could he be working in
them. One of his hands caressed her cheek, as the other held her hand, which
was completely limp from fear, in his, and brought it up to his lips to kiss
her palm.
Placing
it on his cheek, he leaned into the touch, and with a pained sigh, placed a
soft kiss on her lips. Trying to prolong the moment as much as he could, he
rubbed his cheek softly against hers, hoping his stubble wouldn’t hurt her
sensitive skin.
He
kissed her earlobe, and knew it was time to leave or he would never be able
to. So this was it. It wasn’t fair to her. He wished he could've given her
much more than that. More than a silent goodbye when she was asleep. It hurt
to know she would never understand her importance. How much she had meant to
him, how much she had given him, changed him…
She
felt him get up abruptly, and walk a couple of steps towards the door. Just as
she thought he was gone, he was there again, next to her, his wet cheek
touching hers, his lips placing a lingering kiss below her ear. “I love
you…” she heard him mumble with the husky voice she only heard in his
moans. It took her a moment to register what was happening, and when she
opened her eyes in surprise, he was already gone…
Lucy
watched with a worried expression as Maria tried to gather the broken pieces
of glass from the floor with shaking hands. Her face was expressionless, but
she knew how hard Maria was trying to keep it that way. The clenching of her
jaw was enough evidence for her.
“That’s
the fifth today…” she said feigning amusement. It was the only way she
could think of to keep the conversation light.
“Yeah,
I know. I’m… uh… kinda clumsy today…” Maria threw the pieces of
glass in the trash can, intent on avoiding Lucy’s eyes.
Lucy
saw the way her eyes glazed and filled with tears. That was it! No more
avoiding the subject…
Taking
Maria's hands in hers, she forced her to meet her eyes. “Maria, come on, cut
the crap! What's wrong?”
“Nothing
I want to talk about…” Maria said, her voice firm, her eyes determined.
Lucy
sighed. “Okay…” she agreed in defeat. Then to Maria's surprise, she
pulled the green apron off her and shoved her towards the backdoor. “Go
then…”
“What?”
She looked at her friend like she was crazy.
“Don’t
look at me like that!” Lucy said, pushing her red curls away from her face.
“Go home, take a bath, sleep it off… Or whatever… Do something. If you
wanna talk, you know where to find me.”
-
- -
Michael
Guerin entered his apartment after hours of aimless walking. He had fantasized
about this day for years. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t
supposed to feel like this. He had always pictured himself saying goodbye to
the sun, to the desert, to the sea… But today, as he had walked through the
streets that had been his home for so long, he couldn’t even care to bid
farewell to them. His thoughts had been fixed on one thing alone, and he had
failed to see anything else.
It
wasn’t supposed to be like this. He had never intended things to get
complicated. But from the first moment he'd seen her, all his life’s work on
keeping himself away from possible hurt and destruction had been wasted. She
had lured him out of his shell. He had never given up though. Still, he was
fighting against it… Against her… But he wasn’t really sure it was
working.
It
was the proof of God’s hatred of him that that night he’d found himself
under her tree. Watching her as she danced in the rain.
If
only he could have controlled himself. If only he'd never touched her that
night. If only he'd never looked in her eyes.
But
he had. And it had been too late. Just one look, just one taste… And he was
in over his head.
He
had willed himself to turn away and leave afterwards. And he had done it.
Almost. But then he'd seen her disappointed look, her self loathing…
He
shook his head. He still couldn’t understand. Why? Why had he turned back
and kissed her again? Why had he kept going to her every night? He'd known all
along it was pointless. And now, yet another person was paying for his
existence.
He
knew she was going to wait. She was going to hurt. For him. And a sick part of
him was feeling good about it. She wanted him. She cared. She loved.
In
a couple of hours everything he had always wanted was going to find him. He
was leaving to find his home. His people. He owed it to them to go back. Cause
they might be waiting for him.
He
was a selfish bastard. He had no idea why she had wanted him. And still kept
wanting him for that matter… She had no reason to. He hadn't given her
anything. For all that time, all he had done was to take
from her. Comfort, love, warmth, trust, joy… She had been giving everything
she had without any complaints.
He
should've never gone back after that first night. He should've just shelved
the memory and stopped himself from going to her again. Instead he had told
himself it would be okay as long as he kept it superficial. They could both
get what they wanted without it being personal. He could enjoy it while it
lasted, and then just leave…
He
could. But why had it gotten so out of hand then? Why had she trusted him? Why
the hell had she fallen in love with him? He wasn’t flattering himself, he
knew she had. She'd never said it out loud –although she tended to talk a
lot when he didn’t keep her mouth busy- but he could see she was. It was
shining in her eyes every time he was with her.
It
wasn’t fair. It wasn’t f-ucking fair.
He'd
done everything right. He hadn't even told her his name. How much more
impersonal could he have kept it? He hadn't talked to her. He hadn't given her
any hope. He had just been the guy that comes and f-ucks her every night.
Okay, maybe that really wasn’t the right word, but it didn’t change the
fact that things weren't supposed to be like this…
Then
why?
He
had walked all night after she'd demanded to know his name. He had walked
around her block a thousand times, stopping himself from going to her every
time his feet took him towards her garden. He had tried his f-ucking best, but
after one night, he had forgotten all about his good reasons to stay away, to
stay unattached. Temporary insanity caused by the lack of her taste. He had
decided to tell her. Thankfully she'd been so worried that he wouldn’t show
up again, she hadn't even let him talk.
Thankfully…
It
was over though. No reason to think any further about it. He had said his
goodbye, and he just needed to keep himself away for just a couple more hours.
Then it was going to be too late anyway.
Hearing
the knock on the door, he got up from the worn brown lump he used as a couch
and went to open it, thinking most probably it was his landlord. It was a
surprise to find Max and Isabel Evans standing in the smelly dark hallway.
-
- -
F-uck.
F-ucking
planet. F-ucking Maxwell.
How
could a guy as perfect as Max Evans could have gotten the most important thing
in their lives wrong?
Yeah,
neither had being human, but the guy had never had any problems with that.
God,
Michael! I know you can't wait to get off this planet, but it’s just another
day. What’s the big deal?
Of
course, what was the big deal, right? It was easy to say that for the perfect
ice queen. It was easy for her to spend another day with her human parents.
But what the f-uck was he going to
do?
He
had 24 hours.
24
hours to spend and nowhere to go…
24
hours to spend and two stubborn feet pulling him towards her…
24
f-ucking hours…
How
was he going to fight it that long?
-
- -
The
tightly shut door of her bedroom drew her eyes for the millionth time that
night. The TV was on, and she was watching something –wasn’t really sure
what-, but her eyes kept sneaking peeks on either the bedroom door or the
garden door. She was still in her work clothes, it had been impossible to
enter her bedroom –their bedroom- without having a heart attack.
He
wasn’t coming back… He wasn’t… She knew it. It was over.
But
maybe he would. He would be back, and he would talk to her this time, and he
would tell her again that he loved her, and they would get married…
He
wasn’t coming back, and she wasn’t going to care…
-
- -
She
checked her watch again. 02:00 AM. Clenching her jaw in anger, she pulled the
watch off her wrist and threw it towards the tree…
Better…
She'd
been sitting at the garden door of her living room for a good four hours now.
There was no way she could sleep even if she could open the damn bedroom door,
which she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to do anyway.
It
had been casual. Hell, their relationship had been the definition
of casual… It was only expected that it would end like this. She knew that.
She had accepted that.
But
it still hurt.
She
knew she was crazy. Demented. There was no other explanation to her behavior.
It was a common thing to f-uck strangers these days, but keeping them in her
bed for more than four months was clearly not normal. And falling in love with
them was even more extreme.
Some
would say impossible.
She
knew she would have… Five months ago that is…
Now
she knew what it was like to love someone so desperately that all you wanted
was to feel their presence. It was like a disease. Or a spell. Actually it
could be, considering his different
nature.
But
she couldn’t care less.
She
needed him… God… She needed him so badly…
She
let her tears fall, and clutched her knees to her chest, resting her head on
them in exhaustion. Her body started rocking with the rhythm of her sobs. She
felt desperation creep up her heart. There was nothing she could do, she had
no strength or will left to fight.
So
she just sat there, and hurt…
-
- -
It
was a mistake. He knew it. But he simply couldn’t stop himself.
He
forced himself not to run, walk a little slower, not be so eager as he entered
the garden. His eyes found the bedroom door immediately. Lights were off. Was
she sleeping? Was she not home?
Then
he saw the soft light coming through the other door. Living room. He'd never
been there. It was funny really. He had practically lived with her for four
months, and was yet to see the living room. He felt an ache deep in his
stomach. No… It wasn’t funny at all.
Approaching
the door slowly and nervously, he saw her sleeping form, huddled in the
corner. His heart leapt at the sight, and suddenly all air left his lungs. He
had to concentrate hard in order to breathe right.
She
was hugging her knees to her chest and her head was resting on the door. She
was sleeping. She should have fallen asleep… doing
what? Sitting there crying?
Self
hatred was something he was used to feeling, but at that moment, standing
there in the darkness looking at her tear stained cheeks, he wished with all
his heart that he'd never been conceived. Of course, being a better man was
the more plausible wish, but he was sick and tired of wishing that. It
wasn’t going to happen. Not now, not ever. He was the screw up of the bunch,
and he had now officially hurt the purest thing he'd ever come in contact
with.
Crouching
down in front of her, his hands cupped her cheeks in their own volition. His
gaze was transfixed on her face. Her ivory skin paler than he'd ever seen it,
her long eyelashes still wet with her tears… And her lips… Red, pouty…
Her lips that had soothed him, loved him, smiled at him, made him feel…
He
leaned in and brushed her lips with his, softly as to not disturb her much
needed peace. He could taste the salty tears she'd shed for him.
He
hated it. He hated himself.
Her
eyes opened sleepily, and his heart fluttered at the flash of emeralds,
shining brighter than ever now because of the moisture. A surprised shriek
escaped her throat, and her eyes searched his frantically, trying to
understand whether it was real or not.
“Oh
my god…” she muttered breathlessly, and threw her arms around his neck,
crushing his body to hers. She buried her face in his neck as she had done a
thousand times before and smelled him, tasted him, trying to confirm his
presence with all her senses.
“You’re
here… I thought you left me… I thought you weren't coming back…” she
whispered, scared to talk louder. She smiled against his skin, making him want
to hurt himself till he couldn’t think straight. “You're here…”
Pulling
back from his embrace to look in his eyes, she cupped his face firmly, keeping
him in place. There was no way she was letting him go anytime soon.
Her
smile fell from her face when she saw the look in his eyes. An intolerable
heat rose inside her, making her ache all over suddenly. A sob escaped her
lips, and she bunched his black t-shirt in her hands as she cried to his
chest.
“No,
no, no, no…”
Inside
she wanted to hurt him. Hit him with all her might for making her this
vulnerable, weak person. She wanted to hold on to her remaining pride, and
tell him to leave. She wanted to stand up to him, and claim the part of her
life he possessed.
But
she didn’t. What was the point?
It
wasn’t just a break up where she would wake up and face him the day after.
She knew she wasn’t going to see him again. And there was no one else that
she needed to appear strong to. Only herself…
Would
it be worth it if she wasted her last minutes in heaven to lie to herself?
She
clutched him tighter to her body in an unconscious attempt to dull the ache.
It wasn’t going to work. This was all her fault. If she hadn't let him
become so much to her, she wouldn’t be feeling like she was losing a part of
her soul now.
She
tried to loosen her hold on him. She had no right. She had to let go. No
matter how much she needed him, she couldn’t bear to become this pathetic
person in his eyes. She had agreed a long time ago to play this by his rules,
and she wouldn’t break them now.
She
pulled back reluctantly, her hands self-consciously wiping her tears away. She
opened her tightly shut eyes, but couldn’t dare look at his face. “I'm
sorry…” she mumbled, and willed her feet to step back a little, hoping
that maybe it would get easier if his scent wasn’t surrounding her.
He
had never wanted this emotional goodbye. He had never wanted to see the mess
he was leaving behind. He'd wanted to not see… Not see what he had created
with a human girl. Not see the intensity of this for her. Not see her cry…
Not see her hurt…
He
had never wanted to acknowledge what his heart had been screaming at him all
this time.
She
knew him. She had understood what he needed like no one else ever had before.
She had trusted him, and looked at him like he was important. Like he meant
something. Like he wasn’t a failure of the universe.
All
his life there had never been a person that cared enough to make their way
through his walls. They had all been forced to endure his presence. But she…
She was different. She had shared herself with him. Not caring if he was an
orphan, a criminal, an alien… She had surprised him, shocked him with the
little affectionate things she had done… Like the times she had softly sang
to him when he kept tossing and turning in the bed, or the times she had told
him her most embarrassing childhood stories when he was upset about something.
She
had been his safe haven for all this time, but now that it was time to leave,
he didn’t want to remind himself the cruelty of the truth, and hurt more.
He
had to leave.
So
she was an affectionate woman… So it had felt good to be with her… So she
had cared… Four months didn’t mean anything. His home was his dream. It
was his reason. It was what he had wanted.
It
was an easy choice.
He
looked at her innocent, sad face. She was beautiful. Even more beautiful than
the first time he'd seen her. It would be so easy to fall in her arms and not
let go…
No.
This wasn’t real. It didn’t mean anything. His dreams were real… He
didn’t belong here. He could do it. It was easy. It was what he had been
waiting for.
Her
small hand took his with a loving touch. “Just…” she said, trying to be
brave and strong, “…one last
night?”
Her
broken voice reached his ears and made its way down to his heart, leaving a
scorching trail behind. He stepped closer to her, feeling her rapid breathing
on his face, and swallowed her sobs in a kiss.
They
both knew it was all he had to offer.
She
kissed the top of his head, and enjoyed his breathing on her chest. She had
been commanding her brain not to dramatize the situation, and make it even
worse. She wished to have more time with him, she wished to have forever to
find out the little things about him that she’d never had a chance to
learn… But if he was saying this was it, she had no right to object.
She
had stayed awake to savour the last hours she had with him. She had let her
hands travel his bare back and shoulders slowly, memorizing every curve, every
muscle. She wasn’t going to cry though. She wasn’t going to let him see
her weak. She didn’t want him to remember her like that. She wanted him to
remember what they had shared the way it was - beautiful. Her tears would do
nothing but soil the memory.
She
pulled the comforter up to cover his shoulders. She didn’t want him to catch
a cold. After all he was going to be travelling. That was the logical
explanation to his sudden leaving. If he had wanted to leave her, he would
have just left without the goodbye. She was sure there was something else.
Something forcing him to leave maybe… Or was this her wishful thinking
again?
Michael
stirred and opened his eyes from the nightmare to find himself safely wrapped
in Maria's arms. He had been dreaming about a spaceship, and another crash,
one he wouldn’t be surviving this time…
He
buried his nose in her breast and heard her gasp. His head tilted up and their
eyes met; deep green and intense brown…
This
was what he was going to miss… This was the reason his chest constricted at
the thought of leaving. Waking up with her smell, with her body, with her
eyes… Kissing her first thing in the morning… Her murmured unintelligible
sleepy words before he left…
Pushing
himself up a little he caught her lips in a soft tender kiss, trying to ignore
her unshed tears.
How
had that happened? Only a half year ago he would have laughed at anyone who
suggested that he would want to kiss a woman tenderly, lovingly. Before Maria,
sex had been sex, nothing more… People had been people, a different species
than he was… And home… Home had been Antar, in the stars, far away,
important…
Before
Maria… He had been sure of what he wanted… What he needed…
Now…
He wasn’t…
She
closed her eyes, overwhelmed from the emotions she had caught in his eyes, and
caused a tear to travel down her right cheek. She wanted to wipe it away, but
couldn’t move her hand away from his skin. She felt like he would dissolve
into nothing if she stopped touching him.
Michael
opened his mouth, but closed it before he could say anything. It was
surprising how much he had to tell her. How much she needed to know. But would
it really help if he started talking to her now? Would it make her feel less
pain when he left? Selfishly, he wanted her to understand his reasons, but he
knew it would hurt her more. The further they went, the harder it would be for
her to move on…
She
kept her eyes closed as his mouth travelled up her cheek, licking her tears.
Then pulling himself up on his elbows, he started kissing a trail of fire
along her jaw. She let her body loose and open to his touch, hoping that he
would make her forget the inevitable end that awaited them.
Their
lips met in a passionate kiss, and they just focused on feeling and tasting
each other. It was so easy to get lost in the sensation… They let reality
slip past them, and loved each other like there was no tomorrow. No shuttles,
no farewells… They existed in a realm with no time or limitations, where
everything was possible… Even if it was for a short period of time, they
chose to ignore the world outside the bedroom door.
His
mouth moved slowly down her neck, taking his time to taste her skin
thoroughly. Her panting breath brushed the top of his head, and her heartbeat
drummed in his ears. He threw the comforter off the bed to see her without
constrictions, and kissed softly down her shoulder. Her skin - soft, smooth,
familiar, glided down his lips too fast. No matter how slow he moved, it
wasn’t enough. He needed more time…
Her
head was clouded by his touches… He was everywhere. Her neck, her shoulder,
her arm, her breasts… Her skin was tingling all over. She was beyond
rational thoughts, and all she wanted at that moment was to wrap him around
herself like a blanket and sleep forever.
Her
moan reached his ears as he suckled her breast, and he felt tears burning his
eyes. No matter how hard he tried to forget, the thought of not seeing her,
not hearing that moan again, was finding its way back to his mind. He took
more of her skin in his mouth, sucked harder to hear her moan once more, and
when he succeeded, he etched it to his brain to remember later.
The
room started spinning, and everything blurred as his large hands touched every
inch of her skin. His lips, his tongue dancing on her breast, his hands
holding her hips firmly, his hard length pressing against her… A part of her
knew that she needed to take things slow and enjoy him while he was there, but
the pleasure was torturous. He was leaving her breathless, unable to think,
not wanting anything but him…
She
felt him touch her entrance, and let out a loud moan at the familiar sparks.
Jolts of electricity ran through her body, and left her trembling beneath him.
Supporting his upper body on his elbows, he looked down at her face. Sweaty,
flushed, spent… Beautiful…
It
was almost morning. This was the last time he would make love to her. Last
time he would see her like this…
Brushing
her wet hair away from her face, he touched her lips with his softly. She
tasted sweet. How could she always taste so sweet?
Enjoying
his tender kiss, she felt him enter her slowly, taking his time to feel every
inch of her against his flesh. He recorded every little gasp and moan, and
shelved them away in his head.
His
elbows failed to hold him up as he buried himself completely in her. His head
dropped to her neck, and one of his hands held her hips in place. He bit his
lip till he drew blood. It was all he could do to not cry out. He knew he
would lose it completely if she moved.
He
waited until their heartbeats slowed down to a relatively normal pace, and
kissed her neck to reassure her when she wrapped her legs around him. He
didn’t pull himself up and look at her face. It would be too much to see her
eyes. His hips started to meet her desperate movements, and he tried to focus
on his own breathing. It worked as a distraction for a while, but after some
time the friction became unbearable, and he lost himself in the heat.
He
opened his eyes, and heard her muffled sobs right away. He was still lying on
top of her, their bodies entwined together. One of her hands was holding onto
him tightly, as she used the other one to muffle her crying. Early morning
light was coming through the windows, and although he knew he needed to calm
her down somehow, all he really wanted was to cry with her.
Forcing
his head up to look at her, he wrapped his arms around her fragile figure. He
wondered for the millionth time how it could be possible that someone so small
could make him feel so safe. He always felt the need to protect her, but in
his heart he knew most of the time he
was the one that needed protection. And she had always been there with her
soft embrace and warm eyes to provide it for him.
Touching
her forehead with his, he kissed her to stop her from torturing herself. It
wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth her tears. He knew words –even if he
had any- would be insufficient at that moment. So looking deep in her sad,
green eyes he whispered… “Ssshh…”
Her
eyes grew wide, and he saw her anger before she could speak. “Don’t you
dare ssshh me!” she whispered
harshly. Then not letting him react, she grabbed his chin and made him look
towards the garden door where daylight was seeping through the transparent
purple curtains.
“Do
you see that? Do you know what that means? It means you’re going to leave
in a couple of hours. You will leave me, and I will never know if you're okay
or not. I won't know if you're alive, if you're happy, if you're alone or f-ucking
somebody else. And it means I will never have a chance to learn your name. I
will never get to know whether you like soup or not, or if you ever had a dog.
I won't be able to sleep for God knows how long, because I will constantly be
thinking if you arrived safely to where you're supposed to go. It won't matter
that you don’t give a s-hit, or how pathetic it makes me. I can't help it. I
will still care, and it will hurt. So don’t you dare f-ucking ssshh
me!”
She
nervously watched as his mouth opened and closed without a sound coming out of
it. The awareness of what she had just said hit her brain as her anger slowly
disappeared. She pushed the thoughts away. It didn’t matter anymore. He was
leaving anyway. Better to say what was in her mind than to regret not talking
later.
Closing
his eyes to gather his thoughts, Michael heard his own voice, husky and deep
from emotions. “Don’t…”
“Don’t
what?” Maria said softly, not letting herself think that he was actually
talking to her for the first time.
He
looked at her face, her lips parted in anticipation and her eyes shining with
hope. Hope… She was still hoping that he would stay. It felt like a stab to
his heart, she was going to hurt so badly… Because of him.
He
willed himself to look away while all he wanted was to kiss her until she was
the only thing he could feel. He pulled a curtain behind his eyes, and looked
in her eyes to make her believe. “Don’t turn this into something it’s
not. I will go. I want
to go. I waited my whole life for this. I won't just throw it away just
because you think you will worry. It doesn’t work that way.”
Her
expression froze, but then he saw what he was expecting. Fury. Anger. Enough
anger to cover hurt.
She
pushed him off of her and sat up in the bed. “Go then,” she said, her
voice ice cold as it had never been before. “I want you to go now.”
He
got up from the bed, his eyes burning, his head pounding. The worst was the
numbness of his heart. He knew it would hurt more than anything else ever
could once the initial shock wore off. Finding his clothes, he started to get
dressed quickly. The sooner he left the room, the better. The safer for both
of them…
He
hadn't heard her get up from the bed, but when he started towards the door, he
found her standing in front of it, a sheet wrapped around her body securely,
her hair framing her face in wild curls, shining impossibly in the sun, her
face not so angry anymore but determined.
Pulling
his head down forcefully, she kissed him. His resistance lasted only a second,
then he let go and got lost in her taste. His hands grabbed her waist and
pulled her closer until their bodies melted against each other. She wanted to
pull away, she had things to say, but her mind kept telling her that it was
their last kiss. What would she have left with if that ended too?
Their
lips broke only when they couldn’t breathe anymore. They panted against each
other, as their cautious gazes met.
“I
heard you…” she said looking in his eyes, and seeing his confused look
continued… “…yesterday, before you left… I heard what you said.”
Panic.
It was all she could see in his eyes. She would have laughed at his expression
if she hadn't been hurting so damn much.
She
pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t talk. I don’t wanna hear it.”
She
sighed. “I know you love me. And I now know it’s not enough. I… I always
thought if I could find love I would be happy. Apparently not… So… Do what
you want to do. What you need to do. You wanna see the green clouds? Go see
them. No matter how much I want it, I won't beg for you to stay and be with
me, cause I know it wouldn’t be the same. I only want one thing from you. If
you're going to leave me, find the thing that would make you happy. That is
how I want to picture you when I think of you in the future. Happy. And…
Please… Don’t come back… I can't… I can't go on if I think that you
might be coming back one day. Just… let this be it. The end. We’re
finished. Right here. Right now…”
Tears
streamed down her cheeks, but she stopped the sobs from coming out. Once they
took over, she knew they wouldn’t stop for hours. She kissed him briefly one
last time, and opened the door for him with shaking hands.
“Go,
find what you need,” she said, glad that her voice sounded still firm
despite her tears.
Michael
didn’t look at her. Couldn’t raise his eyes from the floor.
His
feet started to move towards the door… the garden… out of the house… out
of her life.
He
didn’t stop to steal one last glance. He didn’t wait to hear the sobs he
knew would shake her small, fragile body. He didn’t let himself feel the
throbbing in his heart. He didn’t wipe the tears away.
He
just kept walking.
He
walked for what seemed like hours without caring where his feet took him. His
mind was too busy with bits and pieces of unintelligible thoughts. When he
stopped and raised his head, he was at the bus stop where he was supposed to
be meeting Max and Isabel in a couple of hours.
He
sat on the bench feeling exhausted. It was cold, and his face felt almost
frozen. He unconsciously wiped the wetness off his cheeks, and pulled his
jacket up tighter even though he knew it would do absolutely nothing to stop
the way his body was trembling.
Her
scent suddenly hit him like a wave. It was all over his body, his clothes. She
smelled like flowers; soft, gentle, sweet, free… A picture of her eyes
flashed through his mind. Her look as she told him to go… Deep green eyes,
shining with tears, hurt, trying to look brave…
Why
did it hurt so much that she had done what he had tried to do? Why was it okay
for him to try to kill her hope, but when she did it herself, it made him ache
in places he never knew?
He
wasn’t going to anyway…
His
stomach quivered and suddenly bending over he started to retch. His body shook
violently, and leaning his head to the cool metal of the bench, he stopped
fighting the sobs. He couldn’t even think to be glad that there was no one
around to see.
-
- -
Maria
dropped the sheet and grabbed a towel as she walked towards the bathroom. She
couldn’t think of anything else but water to make her feel a little more
alive. Hot water… It would wash over her skin and take away all the
reminders of him.
She
didn’t need them. She didn’t need him.
She
stepped under the water and turned the knob towards hot till it started to
burn her skin. It hurt. She liked it. Physical pain was distracting. And it
was so much easier to fix.
So
he wasn’t coming back. Good. She could date a couple of guys Luce found for
her. And now there was no reason to not invite them over for some coffee… Or
something… It would be fun. She would feel young again. Like in college.
She
leaned her forehead against the tiled wall. Hot. It was too hot. A picture of
what he had shown her the last time they made love flashed in her mind; a
beach, water, thick and shiny, red and green lights playing on its surface,
and the green clouds, making the air seem almost too bright for human eyes…
Human…
He wasn’t human though, was he?
She
couldn’t breathe, her knees were buckling under her. Too hot… Too
steamy… She reached and turned the knob in the opposite direction, and let
the ice cold water hit her chest.
He
wasn’t even human. Why should she care?
-
- -
Michael
greeted the nervous siblings with a simple nod, and got in the car. His face
was expressionless as they took off towards their shuttle.
Isabel
was desperately trying to make him talk, but he couldn’t care about what she
had to say or wanted to know. He wasn’t sure what would come out if he
opened his mouth. Nothing good obviously. So he sat silently with a grim
expression and watched the scenery pass them by.
He
concentrated on not thinking about anything on this planet, and tried to keep
his thoughts on the green clouds he was going to see.
You
wanna see the green clouds? Go see them.
Shutting
his eyes tightly he inwardly counted to ten to will her voice away. She was
the last thing he needed to think about right now. She was the past, he was
going towards his future.
-
- -
She
entered the bedroom shivering from sitting under the cold water for over half
an hour. Her skin had turned almost blue, and her teeth were clattering.
Passing the bed and intently avoiding looking at it, she made her way to the
door and opened it.
It
was cold, and she was freezing. But the last thing she needed was to inhale
his scent in her home. She wanted to get rid of everything that reminded her
of him. It wasn’t a possibility to tear down the whole bedroom and garden,
but she had to start somewhere…
She
sat in front of the mirror wrapped in a towel, and just stared at her
reflection without really seeing anything. Her mind went blank, she couldn’t
even remember that she was cold and needed to get dressed.
Then
the tears began to fall. She couldn’t control herself anymore. Getting up,
she started to pace the room like a caged animal. She cried loudly, freely as
she’d never done since her childhood.
Grabbing
a large pink vase, she threw it forcefully to the mirror on the wall, and
watched as it shattered loudly. And for a minute it felt better. She wasn’t
the only thing broken in the room.
Quickly
throwing some clothes on, she headed outside. It wasn’t right to cry in her
home like that. She needed to get away. Away to some neutral territory,
somewhere she could ignore later on and pretend never existed.
-
- -
Max
waited for Michael to catch up as they neared the entrance. It was an unspoken
agreement between the siblings that Michael would be the one to open the door.
It felt like a ritual, and having been the most eager one of the trio to
leave, it felt only appropriate that he would do it. And Max figured Michael
would probably feel more secure that way.
Max
waited. He watched as Michael climbed the last rocks and stood next to him.
Max stared at him as he shoved his hands in his pockets and chewed his lip,
appearing deep in thought. He wanted to say something, ask him if he was okay,
but decided against it when he saw a small rock slowly float in the air and
explode into tiny pieces from the corner of his eye.
Sharing
a look of concern with Isabel, Max opened the door and entered.
-
- -
Pulling
her knees to her chest to keep herself from freezing, Maria tried to tuck her
wild wet hair behind her ear. The wind was blowing around her dragging the
leaves along. She watched as if in a dream as they danced around her, and
actually laughed when some of them tangled in her hair.
She
wondered if there were trees where he was going…
-
- -
The
whirring sound intensified, and Michael stood where he thought he was supposed
to, his face still harbouring the same grim expression.
If
you're going to leave me, find the thing that would make you happy.
Happy?
He'd
never been happy. He didn’t smile, he never laughed. Maybe only while
watching TV or reading a book. Never in real life. Never for
real.
Pictures
flashed through his mind. Pictures of himself smiling. Happy.
He
saw himself embracing her. Kissing her. Going shopping with her. Living with
her. Preparing dinner…
With
her…
She
was always there… He was always happy…
He
saw a picture of them lying cuddled on her couch watching TV. He saw himself
kissing her nose and making her giggle. He could almost feel her fingers grip
his hand as he saw them walking through the park she walked through everyday
to go to work.
His
body came to life as a warmth covered him, spreading from inside, from his
heart and reaching out all the way to his toes.
He
wondered what she was doing. Was she still lying in bed heartbroken? Was she
still crying? Was she out there walking through that park alone? She was in
trouble maybe… Could she protect herself? She was so small and fragile…
Noticing
the deafening mechanical whirring sound in the small room, he willed his feet
to move. After a couple of steps towards the door, he remembered the others in
the room. He turned around and met the gazes of two shocked aliens. He
blinked, and tried to figure out what he needed to tell them. His mind was so
intently focused on her though, it
was hard to form a sentence.
“I'm
not going.”
With
that he was running out the door, leaving Isabel and Max gaping after him.
A
mischievous grin crept up Isabel’s lips after the initial shock. Throwing
her hair back, away from her face, she said “Well, that’s a relief,” and
headed for the door.
Reaching
the door, she turned back and rolled her eyes at the sight of her brother’s
confused face. “Max? Are you coming?”
They
watched as a running Michael reached the car, and swerved it to the road
towards the city without once glancing back.
Isabel
sighed. “Great. Just leave us, why don’t you…”
She
started walking towards the nearest gas station, trusting Max to get his brain
to function enough to follow her. The shuttle took off with a loud explosion,
leaving a cavity in a big heap of dust and rocks behind.
Max
stared as it until it disappeared, then hurried to catch up with his sister.
“Isabel, what just happened?”
-
- -
Michael
entered the café, panting. He had violated every rule and regulation with the
car until the engine had died a couple of blocks away, and had ran the rest of
the way.
His
eyes frantically searched for her, but the place was almost empty. No Maria
around. Maybe she was taking a break?
He
saw the red headed girl, and approached her trusting that if anybody knew
where she could be it would be her.
Lucy
turned around and jumped slightly when she saw the man approaching her. He
looked ragged, dirty, and strangely intense. She was glad it was daylight, or
she would be totally freaking. “Ho…How may I help you?”
“Maria.
Where can I find Maria?”
Her
name rolled off his tongue so easily… He had forced himself to not even
think about her name, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself
from saying it when he lost himself in her. But now… Now there was nothing
to stop him.
Maria.
Maria. Maria. Such a beautiful
name…
“How
do you know Maria?” Lucy asked, eyeing the guy suspiciously.
“I…I
just do, okay? Do you know where she is?” Michael ran a hand through his
tousled spikes. Why the hell was she stalling?
Lucy’s
eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you her boyfriend?”
Uh-oh…
“Uuuh…
Kinda…” Well, he could always hope…
“Kinda?”
Lucy asked, amused. He was the one alright… The kinda
non-existing boyfriend that kept Maria away from other men.
“Yeah,
kinda!” Michael said, exasperated. “Will you help or not?”
“I
will. But first you will answer some questions.” Lucy pulled a chair for him
to sit with a gleam in her eyes.
Michael
sat cautiously, unsure of her intentions. Had Maria told her about them? About
him?
“What’s
your favourite ice cream flavour?”
-
- -
Maria
entered her apartment, all her limbs frozen and aching. Pulling off her muddy
boots, she turned around ready to throw herself on the couch and sleep there
for eternity…
But
it was occupied.
She
froze looking at him. She couldn’t even blink as their gazes locked and she
waited for him to vanish.
He
didn’t.
Feeling
the need to say something, she stuttered, “Y… You came back?”
“Yes,”
he said simply, nodding his head once.
She
looked lost and scared, but he couldn’t move with the fear of rejection. She
had said ‘don’t come back’ after
all…
“Maria…”
“How
do you know my name?” she asked, cutting him off defensively. He didn’t
respond, just waited for her to figure it out herself.
“You’ve
been stalking me?”
“Yes.”
He nodded again.
“Oh.”
She thought she probably needed to be angry, but couldn’t find the strength.
After
some more staring, Michael felt the need to fill the silence. “I tried to
find you. I went to the café, and Lucy told me you weren't working, she asked
me a whole bunch of meaningless questions…”
He
looked so adorably confused, Maria found herself smiling. “Did you pass?”
“I'm
not sure… I think so.”
Seeing
her smile, he took a tentative step towards her. Their eyes locked and the air
sizzled between them. He kept slowly stepping closer to her as she stood cold
and unmoving. She didn’t look away, but didn’t let him see one bit of
emotion to let him know what she was thinking either.
He
stopped when they were almost touching, and she had to look up to meet his
eyes. His eyes searched hers for forgiveness, but he knew deep down she was
too hurt to give in that easily.
“Don’t
make me beg…” he whispered, his gaze dropping to her lips, knowing he would
do it without a second thought if she asked.
“Why
didn’t you leave?”
“I
couldn’t…”
“Why?”
“I
needed to find the thing that would make me happy…”
Her
heart literally skipped a beat, but she didn’t budge. She needed to hear him
say it.
Michael
chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair. “Believe me… I know it
sounds stupid… But… I'm in love with you, and you make me happy.”
Letting
her hand cup his cheek, she stared up at him with her eyes full of hope once
again. “You won't leave me again?”
“Never.”
He
held his breath as he waited for her reaction.
“Okay,”
she said softly, and pulled his head lower to meet his lips.
-
- -
“Stop
doing that, I can't concentrate on the show…” Maria whined.
“What?
I'm not doing anything…”
They
were lying naked under the blankets on the couch, their bodies wrapped around
each other, watching TV. Well, at least one of them was trying…
Michael's
hand cupped her breast again and started softly kneading the warm flesh in his
palm.
“Ooooh,
god… Stop it…”
“Don’t
wanna…” he whispered in her ear, and started kissing down her neck.
Rolling
over and pulling him on top of her, she didn’t even notice the blankets
fall. “Oh, god… Yesss…” she moaned as his lips caressed her skin
softly in a way only he could,
making her feel something she had thought she never would feel again.
Ten
minutes later, her body was covered in sweat and she was panting under him.
Her mind was so blurry she couldn’t even remember what a TV was, let alone
care to watch a show.
She
felt his smooth slick skin glide against hers as he entered and stretched her
in a familiar way. She gasped in pleasure and looked into his chocolate brown
eyes, knowing the intensity of them would carry her on to a different level of
ecstasy.
Then
she suddenly remembered… She'd forgotten to ask…
“Wait.
Wait,” she gasped out.
He
stopped abruptly in mid-stroke. “What? What happened?”
“Nothing.
Just…” her hand reached up and traced his perfectly sculpted face.
“What's your name?”
He
smiled. A genuine smile that made her feel triumphant. She knew it was meant
for her. Only for her.
His
lips touched hers softly, and he moaned. Still sweet. So sweet…
“Michael…”
he whispered against her lips, anxious to kiss her once more. “My name is
Michael.”
THE
END
|