Heart
of Mine……….
“I’m gonna be sick,” Maria told her image as she
listened to Liz tell her about her date with Sean. Liz was sitting on the
counter in the girl’s bathroom at the school obsessing over every last detail.
“No. One minute I was letting him down easy and the next
minute he was kissing me,” Liz saw the face Maria made. “What was I supposed
to do?”
“I don' know, a swift kick to the huevos comes to
mind.” Sean and Liz. Liz and Sean. Sean dating Liz. Liz … Maria gave herself
a mental shudder to wipe those nasty thoughts from her head.
“You know what the most annoying part of all of this
is?” Before Maria could sift through her list that was building in huge
proportions in her brain, Liz went on, “I can't stop thinking what Max would
think. I mean why? Right? We're not even together.” Liz made a sound of
distress, irritated that her brain was Max-hotwired. “God, I have spent two
years of my life involved in this thing with Max and I don't even have a date
for the prom. And now I feel guilty.” Liz was floundering. She needed help.
“Why … why should I feel guilty?”
Because you are. Sean? Honestly. Maria stiffened her
backbone. No. Best friend. She put her revulsion hat away and quick changed it
to her friend hat. It wasn’t Liz’s fault she has horrible taste in men …
okay, maybe it was, but still …
“Oh you shouldn't feel guilty, it was a non-kiss, it's
not like you would kiss Sean back. Right?” Maria said applying more lip gloss,
but her hand stopped in mid-application as she looked at Liz’s reflection
noting the huge pause from Liz. Understanding dawned in Maria’s eyes. “Eww!
I'm gonna be sick!”
“Maria …”
~~~
“So you actually remember our planet?” Michael asked
curiously.
“Yes!” Max said exasperated. He should’ve never told
Michael. The other alien boy’s questions were unrelenting.
“What are the chicks like?”
Max shook his head. “If you're not going to take this
seriously …”
“I seriously wanna know what the chicks are like.” If
he ever went home, he might someday hook up with someone in that way, and
inquiring minds wanted to know. All the alien chicks he met wore human skins,
but he was assuming that wasn’t how they looked on Antar.
“It's not that literal, they're just these images. In one
way I have this, this really clear feeling about everything. In another way
everything seems so ephemeral.” Max said than realized he was talking to
Michael. “You know, uh …”
“… transient, fleeting, impermanent, I know what
ephemeral means Maxwell. It's my life.”
“Michael, I remember everyone.” Max told him seriously.
“You, Isabel …” He looked over to see Tess walking and laughing with Kyle.
“For some reason Tess is the clearest.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?” Max glanced at Michael. “What is ‘hmm’
supposed to mean?”
“Hmm.” Michael’s face was thoughtful. “I wonder how
long it would take to get to Antar. Get there. Be what we use to be, and start
really living our lives.”
“Why are you curious?” Max made a face. “I mean
outside your usual curiosity.”
Michael shrugged. “I don’t know. Restless I guess.”
Max saw Liz and Maria leaving the bathroom. He glanced at
his friend. “Or wanting something you can’t have?”
Michael followed Max glance. “Don’t push your feelings
on me.” He smiled and shook his head when Maria made a laughing noise and
exaggerated gestures at Liz.
Maybe he was lonely in a way he hadn’t expected to be. He
had Maria, but there was only so far he could go in his relationship with her.
If he dated an alien, his choices were limited. Tess or Isabel. That wasn’t a
choice; it was like picking up a can of chili off a shelf, not because you liked
chili. And even though it was way out of date, you picked it up because you were
hungry and it was all that available. That was all there was … one can. That
wasn’t a choice, and he didn’t want his life to be settling for the only can
on the shelf.
“So, are you sure don’t remember what the chicks looked
like?”
“None of them looked like Maria, Michael.” Max said
firmly, getting a surprisingly dark look from Michael. For a moment, he stopped
in his tracks when Michael, for an unguarded moment, showed pain in his eyes.
“Michael …”
~~~
“So basically, you’re freaking.” Michael concluded.
He and Maria were walking down the hall together. He glanced at the blonde.
“You want me to freak too, or you doing okay with it?”
“Oh, rest easy, I’ve got it all covered.” Maria said
disgusted. “They kissed!”
“No details. That has to be a firm rule. Liz Parker’s
mating attempts, and toss your loser cousin in the mix, and my spew factor is on
high alert. Red. Very red.”
“My point exactly.”
“You going to tell me what’s the real reason you’re
so opposed to Liz with Sean?”
“No.” Maria stopped to stare at a poster. “Okay,
maybe. Fine. Sean, I love him. He’s my cousin, but in truth, I don’t think
he’s staying, and more than likely he’ll find trouble. He always does. I
just don’t want Liz caught in the wash. She’s had enough trouble lately, and
the kind Sean can bring …”
“Maybe he’s changed? Juvie can do that.”
“Do leopards change their spots?” Maria asked motioning
to the poster. “I want to go to that. We should go.”
“Oh, you cannot
be serious!” Michael said shaking his head at the poster.
“Like a disease.” Maria hit Michael on the arm.
“It’s just the prom, Michael. Not an invasion by hostile forces.”
“Just kill me now.” Michael said with an
uncharacteristic moment of dramatic hyperbole. “I don't do proms. I don't
believe in them.”
Maria shrugged. “You don't believe in anything.”
“That is not true. I believe in you. I believe that
someday I will be exposed and my life will end as a stain on a petri dish.”
Michael exhaled a deep breath. “And that
is preferable to this,” he said gesturing to the poster. “The whole thing is
totally bogus. It's completely unnatural.”
“You know what? I … I find it to be really unnatural
that you're half alien warrior and half Grandpa Dupree! But I make do,” Maria
countered, irritated that he wouldn’t just unwind and take this as a possible
fun thing.
“I knew you were going to make this thing into a whole
issue.” Michael’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve come to think you’re pretty
damn perfect, or as close to perfect as you can get being … you know …
human. And then you do this! Makes me rethink my assessment.”
“Oh, my God! You are so bent.” Maria shook her head.
“I know you don’t think about me as a girl, but I am one. This is
potentially one of the five greatest nights of my life!” Maria laughed at
herself being all teenager-ish. “I’m not with anyone, and I would like to
spend it with my best friend with my other best friends, like a nice time that
we’re all together, happy, young and carefree.” Maria closed her eyes. What
was she thinking? He did those things for her, and her alone, but this … this
would be very huge. “You know what? Forget it. I’m overstepping the
boundaries of our friendship. You’re right. It is stupid to imagine you would
go.”
“Good. Then it’s settled.”
“Yep.”
“Good.” Michael cleared his throat not sure what he
just won. “So you want to plan something big that night? Maybe get out of
“I can’t.” Michael frowned. “I can’t do anything
with you that night. I’m going to the Prom.” Maria told him brightly. She
walked off, talking to herself under her breath. Michael frowned as he heard her
list names … boy’s names. Other boy’s names.
~~~
Max paused, paced a little, and then straightened his back
to go talk to Liz. She was sitting outside at a table in the quad writing. They
were friends. She wanted to be friends.
“Hey.”
Liz glanced up. “Oh, hey.”
Max took a seat across from her. “There's a... there's
something I've been wanting to tell you.”
“Yeah?” Liz became distracted by the other students
around them as they obviously were preparing to go to the Prom, making dates.
Liz made a face, “… the Prom.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, it seems like Michael and Maria aren't going.”
Liz told Max, still confused by that. Those two went everywhere together.
Max smirked. “Well, I think that one might be a little
too early to call.”
Liz actually laughed making a face. “Oh, ‘m waiting for
the real side show to begin. Last time I left Maria, she was making a list of
all the boys that asked her out with a side list of all the boys, she wouldn’t
mind having ask her out, and mumbled something about having Alex computer
generate her a list of attributes.”
Max laughed. Oh, that wouldn’t go over well with Michael.
“Michael calls that the Maria-Home Shopping Network.”
Liz laughed too, but then became serious. “It's really
weird. You know …” Liz cleared her throat, uncertain she wanted to put so
much of herself out there. “A year ago I was so certain that the four of us
would go together. I always pictured that moment, you know, walking in through
those double doors together. I even bought a dress.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.” Liz laughed self-consciously. “Well, you know
it was around that time last year when we first kissed and everything seemed so
…”
“… simple.”
“Yeah.” Taking a deep breath, Liz went for it. “Max,
I know that we're not seeing each other and I accept that... I do. But, um, this
is my prom, you know? It really means a lot to me. I … I've put a lot of
thought into it.”
“Well, you know, we can go.” Max suggested.
Liz sat back, shocked, and pleased. “We can?”
“Yeah, I mean, okay, fine, we're not together, but we're
also not with anyone else.” If she wanted them to remain friends, then friends
could do this.
“Right. I ... I mean it doesn't have to be some life
changing thing. It can just … you know we can just go and have a good time.”
“I would love that.”
“Me too.” Liz suddenly felt lighter, happier. She
remembered that Max had come looking for her. “Oh, um, so was there something
that you wanted to tell me.”
“Right, I'm starting to remember things. About my planet,
my life, my other life.”
Liz sat back. “Wow.”
“Yeah, yeah, it's, it's weird, like, for the first time I
can remember things. You know, like what it smelled like. What it felt like to
be there.”
“Yeah, that... that's great.” Liz said lacking
enthusiasm.
“Yeah, I've been dying to tell you.”
“Yeah, yeah, that, that, that must be really exciting.”
Liz said wondering how Maria would handle this, how she would fake interest and
support. “Wow, so um, do you remember like actual people, you know, like
Michael and Isabel?”
“Yeah, more like their energy than what anyone actually
looks like.”
“Right,” Liz almost bit out her tongue, but she had to
ask, “What about Tess?”
“Yeah, I remember her too.”
“That's great.” Oh god. Liz looked around for Maria.
~~~
“So,” Maria said moving behind Michael with the
strainer to rinse the pasta. “Max told her that he remembered his past
life.”
“Yeah, he told me the same thing.” Michael frowned at
the lettuce. “Does this look good to you?”
Maria glanced over his shoulder. “No. Lose the outer
leaves. They’re gone.” Maria glanced at the clock. “We could’ve eaten at
the Crashdown. We both have a shift in a few hours.”
“No. This is better. I thought you said that we ate there
too much.”
“True.” Maria accepted a taste of the sauce. “Hmm, is
something missing?”
Michael tasted it frowning. “Oregano?”
“Maybe more basil. It lacks … umph.”
“Umph?”
“Uh-huh.” Maria sat down with her paper and added a few
comments.
“What are you doing?” Michael glanced over, frowning at
a list of names. “What’s that?”
“Potential prom date candidates. The ones with marks next
to them are the ones that have so far asked me out. I am making pro and con
remarks to help me decide who to say yes to.”
Michael wiped his hand and grabbed the paper. He scanned
the list, his face paling. “Brody’s name is on here.” It had a mark next
to it.
“Yeah, he is a major consideration. He asked. He’s fun.
And most important, he allows me to go to the Prom without breaking my ‘no
dating sweaty teen boys’ rule.”
Michael handed her the paper without comment. Brody. Damn.
He hated Brody. He could already see it. Brody dressed in an expensive tux, all
smiles with gifts for Maria, charmingly making her laugh, dancing with her
especially all the slow numbers, and maybe a ride in a limo. Damn.
Michael glanced at the list. “Hey, mark off Mark
Peterson. Rumor has it he contracted a highly contagious sexual disease, and
that’s why Jen Clark dumped him.
“No!” Maria quickly scratched him off. She frowned at
her list. “Bob Kaskill?”
“Closet gay.”
“Damn.”
“Charley Smith?”
“Maria, the boy has a pocket protector.”
“Eek! What was I thinking? Thank you, Michael. You’re a
great friend.”
~~~
“What are you doing?” Liz asked at Maria searched the
store front a few more times.
“Michael’s missing. I just left him a little under an
hour ago, after we finished dinner. He hasn’t shown up.”
“Maybe he got delayed. Juan is here. He’ll cover until
Michael shows.” Liz glanced around the quiet diner. It was a slow night.
“Not much happening here. It’ll be okay.”
“I’m not worried about the work, Liz.”
“Uh-huh.” Liz cleared her throat. “So did you talk
Michael into unbending his ‘no social events that make me look like a human’
rule, and come to the Prom?”
“Nope. Not even trying. I don’t want to beg, and I sure
as hell don’t want him to do it if he doesn’t want to. It should be his
choice. Not mine.”
“But you want him to take you.”
“Oh course I do! Michael … he, we …” Maria stopped
almost as if she was confused exactly what she was trying to say. “Look, I
think of the Prom, and I think of Michael. I guess it makes no sense, but he was
the only person I really wanted to share the night with. I guess I wanted him to
let loose, and for once just pretend like he was an ordinary teenage boy, alive,
and young with his whole life waiting for him.”
“You’re a good friend, Maria.”
Maria laughed. “Oh, no I’m not. I selfishly wanted this
for myself too.”
“I don’t …”
“I know. I barely understand it myself. I guess I always
carried this knowledge that someday, he’ll be gone, and that all this time I
have with him is limited. I want … I need all the good memories of him that I
can get, because when he’s gone it’ll be all I have left.” Maria was
mortified to feel tears in her eyes. Putting her hand to her throat, for a
moment she lost control. “Oh god, I can’t breathe!”
“Okay … okay, Maria, slow it down. Deep slow even
breaths.” Liz encouraged her friend. It hurt to see Maria struggling to stay
calm, to stay in control of her feelings for Michael, keeping them superficial
when they ran so much deeper. “You’re going to be alright.” Liz lied. She
lied for both of them. Whatever they would be when the aliens left, it
wouldn’t be alright.
Neither of them noticed the late Michael when he came in
the back way, nor did they notice him listening to their conversation. As
quietly as he entered, he left.
~~~
“I’m sorry.” Maria said after washing her face.
“For loving Michael, wishing he would always be around,
or for selfishly wanting to spend as much time with him because you’re afraid
tomorrow will be the day that would never come?”
“Stop being so smart, Ms. Parker!” Maria blew her nose.
“I … it’s hard, you know. My mom has been slightly weird since the whole
Brody thing, almost like she’s uncomfortable in her own skin, and with
“That’s not true, Maria.” Liz was horrified at how
Maria viewed her life. “They … we all love you, even your father.” Maria
made a scoffing noise at that.
“Maybe it’s my nature to love people who are looking
for something else.”
“Maybe it’s my nature to want what I can’t have.”
Liz said.
“Max?” Maria asked softly.
For once, Liz shook her head. “Sean.”
“You want Sean?” Maria asked in disbelief.
“Yes. No. Maybe.” Liz rubbed her face hard. “I know
you’re worried, and really don’t want to hear this, but …”
“No, go ahead. You’re entitled. I just bawled all over
you. Hit me.”
“Okay, I feel things when I’m with Sean.” Maria made
a face. “No, it’s not like Max, it’s not as intense, but I still feel
things. Sean, feels likes someone I could love had Max never been part of the
equation. I … everything with Max was so otherworldly, and intense, like my
blood was racing, but with Sean, it’s like settled, like maybe I’d like to
stay awhile and just bask in how he makes me feel.”
“Liz …” Maria licked her lips. “Sean is trying hard
to overcome a lot, but he’s still Sean. He’s not a bad boy because he’s
bad. He’s a bad boy because he likes the feeling, the rush, how it makes him
feel.”
“Maybe you’re wrong, Maria.”
“I hope so. My mother depends on him, leans on him, and
she really needs him like the son she never had. Michael has been a big help to
my mom, but even my mother knows that Michael won’t be around forever.”
“Sean told me I was special … that there was something
about me he always recognized as special.”
“He is not without DeLuca charm. It’s deadly. The law
forbids us from smiling directly into the light … lethal.”
Liz tried to find a way to ask, but finally just asked
because she had no discrete way to do otherwise. “Sean thinks Max is jerking
me around. He has me panting on the sidelines, off the market, while because we
aren’t together, he’s free to date other women.”
“Other women, or just Tess?”
Liz finally made eye contact with Maria. “He remembers
her. He remembers his other life when he loved her and was her husband.” Maria
saw the misery in Liz’s eyes and hugged her friend. How could she ever
compete, a simple human girl, against a destiny and a life half a world away?
~~~
Maria spotted Michael at his locker. Going over, she leaned
against the one next to his. “So, missed your shift last night.”
Michael nodded taking books and a folder out of his locker.
“Alien business.”
“Was it serious? You didn’t call me.”
“Nothing serious. I took care of it easily.”
“Well, we're both off tonight so I'm willing to let you
make me dinner and break into a movie,” Maria suggested wanting to try the
Thai peanut sauce they flubbed the last time.
“I can't make it tonight.” Michael told her.
“You can't make it?”
“Nah, I got plans.” Michael made a face. “Believe me,
the plans, they could get ugly. So … maybe Sean would like to help you cook
tonight?”
“Right. Sure.” Maria watched him walk away feeling like
he was already gone.
~~~
Isabel glanced at the studying Alex and went for it. “So
I think Billy Sorian is going to ask me to Prom.”
“Billy, huh?” Alex said not bothering to look up.
“Are you sure? Cuz I heard he was taking Amy Green.”
Isabel made a face. “Well, the point is, I would've said
no.”
“Oh.” Alex glanced up.
“What about you, Alex?” Isabel asked under breath
chanting ‘Say no, say no, say no’. “Anyone special?”
“Not right now.” Alex confessed. His long distance
relationship had petered out, and he dated a singer of the Whits for about two
weeks before she went on to the drummer. Thank god.
“Really?” Isabel took a deep breath. “Maybe someone
special, from your past, who's ready now and before she wasn't?”
Alex put down his pencil. “Isabel, it would be my dream
to take you to Prom.” Isabel smiled. “But then we'd wake up the next morning
and you'd be onto the next thing and I'd be right back where I was before
~~~
Tess glanced up when Kyle came into the bedroom. She was
lying on the bed reading a magazine. Tossing it aside, she sat up. “Oh, Kyle,
hey.”
“Hey.” Kyle wavered on his feet.
“What's up?”
Kyle tried to drown out his friend, Malamoot’s crass
suggestions that he put moves on Tess, but there it was. He was interested in
something more. “Last year, I went to the prom with Trudy MacIntire.”
“Oh Trudy, she's cute.”
“Yeah, and so we went, and everything was okay, but I
didn't really know her, ah, so we didn't really have much to talk about, much to
say to each other. And so I realized that I feel like I really know you. Which
is unusual for me with girls and uh, anyway, I just …” Kyle suddenly felt
like his feet were too big or something. “Feel free to say no, or laugh or be
outraged or whatever, but would you … want to go to the Prom? You know, with
me?”
“You know, I'd really like that Kyle.” Tess answered
smiling.
“Oh.” Kyle was dumbfounded, and then he smiled. Heck,
that hadn’t been so bad.
“Thank you.”
~~~
“You have to go with me!”
Liz stared at her deranged friend and the piece of paper
she was clutching. “Let me get this straight. You broke into Michael’s
place, found this paper, and now you think he’s dating some human girl?”
“First, I didn’t break in. I have a key. Second, he
obviously meant for me to find out since he left the evidence in the open.”
Liz took the paper with graphite rubbings across it to help
bring up the pressure writing. “Maria, you have to scratch a pencil across it
to get the information.”
“What’s your point? Who do you think taught me that?”
Maria sniffed, clearly upset and unwilling to admit it. “Are you coming with
me or no?”
“I’m going to hell, that’s for sure. Sure, let’s
go.”
Liz watched her very sick friend in need of medication
staring at the address with binoculars.
“You know, I always imagined you and Michael hanging out
with twin binoculars, and …”
“His are in the glove. Help yourself.”
“I cannot believe that Michael is seeing a woman … has
a girlfriend, I just, I won't. I …”
“Snap out of it sister! Juanita!” Maria pointed to her
house. “Proof!”
“I can't believe what’s going on with you and Michael
and me and Max.” Liz said taking out Michael’s binoculars struggling to
untangle the intricate knots he had made in the strap.
“Liz, what are you talking about? You and Max are going
to the Prom.”
“I don't know, I just feel Max and I going in two
different directions, like, it's like we're not able to just separate.”
Liz got the binoculars up in time to see a woman in the window and
Michael coming up to hold her. “Oh!” Liz glanced at Maria seeing her face
pale as she saw Michael with the woman too.
“Makes you realize how, like, easy things change. Because
people meet other people. I could meet another guy. Or Max could meet another
girl, and …”
Maria put down her binoculars. “Or Michael could meet a
woman.” Liz reached over a hand squeezing Maria’s arm where it rested on the
steering wheel. “I'm okay, I'm okay.”
“Okay.” Liz said softly knowing better. Maria was
upset. The mystery would be whether Maria could admit it or even fathom why.
Maria started crying. Laying her head on the wheel, she
rested a minute. “Okay, so I’m not okay. Why, why?! I just don't understand,
I wish, I wish that I hadn't seen that, I wish that I hadn't figured it out, I
wish …”
“What’s bothering you the most about this, Maria? You
swear you and Michael aren’t together like that. So he found someone, and
maybe you should be happy, or …”
“She’s human.” Maria said miserably.
“So?”
“Alien … that I could handle, but not another human
girl.”
“Maria …”
“Look, you don’t understand.”
“Obviously.”
Maria tried to explain, but she kept falling silent.
Finally she started. “An alien girl - that would appeal to Michael, and I
think he might have hooked up sooner if say he had a selection, a population to
look through, but he doesn’t, so he is always like waiting for his life to
really begin. He needs to leave this planet for that to happen.”
“Maybe it’s just a date, Maria. It doesn’t have to be
serious.”
“Yes it does. For Michael … it has to be serious.”
Maria sniffed. “He doesn’t open up and do ‘social’ very well. Actually,
he doesn’t do it at all. To get a date, even a casual one, he would have to be
something he’s not. Michael isn’t an easygoing flirt.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“I always knew that if Michael dated it would mean two
things. First, he found someone he could let inside, someone close enough to
really touch him.” Liz stared at Maria. She was right. It was why everyone
else was so shocked by Michael and Maria’s friendship. It came with Michael
letting Maria in closer than anyone had ever come.
“And second?” Liz asked, almost afraid to as Maria
started to openly cry.
“For Michael to date a human girl, which is next to
impossible and improbably, it would mean he is admitting that he is never
leaving, never going home. He wouldn’t risk his heart, leaving it behind with
someone here. Michael would never allow anything to tie him that way, not unless
he’s staying.”
Liz turned to stare at the house. “Oh.”
“I guess if that happened, I always expected it to be
with me.” Maria told Liz. “I wanted it to be with me.” She whispered
softly to herself.
“Maria, we don't know for sure that anything happened.
You know we could be reading into this whole thing.” Liz shook her head. There
was no way Michael Guerin had given up on his dream of going home. No way.
Maria nodded. She had to know. Michael obviously didn’t
want to talk to her, but she still needed to know. “That's why you have to go
and ask Max.”
“No, Maria, I do not think that's such a good idea.”
Liz said shaking her head.
“Please!”
Reluctantly Liz went to Max’s room. Tess was there with
him. The two were on the bed with candles trying to access more of Max’s old
memories. Max remembered how the water felt on his old home. Excited, he hugged
Tess as Liz came to the window. Looking in she saw them. Slowly backing away
from the window, Liz turned on her heels and rushed away.
~~~
Liz walked down the sidewalk, heading home, trying to keep
the need to spew under control when she ran into Sean. God, her life …
“You’re like ubiquitous.” Liz told him, not in the
least bit confident he understood the word, and maybe that was the point of
using it. She needed to emphasize how far apart they were.
Sean smiled slightly not letting Parker at her most
pretentious bug him. He knew who he was, and that was enough. “I think I
might've figured something out about you, Parker.”
“You know what? I'm not interested!” Liz went to go
around him and go around the Crashdown to the back entrance.
“It might fix your problem.” Sean offered.
Oh, that was it! The man had some nerve. “Who says that I
had a problem?!”
“Well, look at you.” Sean pursed his lips. “You look
like you're about to puke, at the very least.”
Liz’s pale skin pinked up as the flush of anger moved
over her. “Hey, do you know what? I do not need this right now, okay? I do not
want to hear any more of your stupid, inane comments. I do not want to hear any
more of your little theories on life. And I do not wanna write my frickin name
in mustard okay? My life is falling apart!”
Sean stared at her. Animated Liz Parker was something to
behold. He never imagined to see that much life in her, not since she was
younger, playing enthusiastically with Maria and Alex. That was a different
girl, alive, sparkly … happy. The Parker he met since being back, was like the
remaining image left behind after the real version faded from sight. It was nice
to see some life.
“You wanna go somewhere?” He asked kindly.
“Yes.”
Sean took her bowling. Teaching her was part of the fun,
but mostly, he took her to watch the stress slowly bleed from her face. Maria
used to be that way, so serious that it took everything to make her smile. That
was around the year that her father left. It was hard to see beautiful girls, so
full of life already aged and weighed by the lack of possibilities. Every moment
Liz spent with Sean, she saw her life from a different view, from a fresh
perspective, and what she saw was bothersome.
“So um, can I tell you my theory?” Sean asked.
Liz sipped on her coke. “Can I stop you?”
Sean chuckled. Nope. He was a DeLuca. She should know
better. “You and I are, are really different people.”
Liz was impressed that he caught the obvious. “That's
your theory.”
“But the thing is, if we're so different then why do I
feel so much every time I look at you?” Liz stopped drinking to stare at him
remembering her conversation with Maria. “I mean it's not completely one sided
is it?” Sean didn’t wait for her answer, it wasn’t necessary. Liz wasn’t
ready to let go of a dream she had, and maybe she never would be. “This town.
Everybody's always looking at me, like … there's Sean, just got back from
juvie. What's crazy Sean gonna do next? And that's what I figured out about
you.” Sean told her seriously. “You're not that different. I mean this whole
arrangement you have with Max, it's like you're not together but you're not
apart. I mean I bet you can't even talk to me without wondering what Max is
gonna think about it. But meanwhile, you're not getting what you need from him,
are you? You're suffocating Liz. We both are.”
Liz shared a look with Sean, and without acknowledging what
he said to be true, she bowled. Getting a strike, she let the worries of her
life fade away laughing at Sean as he lane walked sliding to and fro, and for
the first time in a long time, her mind was free of thoughts of Max.
~~~
Alex sat on his bed practicing his bass guitar when he
heard a noise, possibly a knock at his window.
“Hello?” The knock came again. “Who is it?” Alex
got off his bed and lifted his guitar as a weapon as he opened his blinds to
Isabel. Relieved, he opened the window.
“Hey.” Isabel said.
“Hey.”
Isabel saw Alex holding the bat like a weapon realizing she
must have startled him. “Sorry.”
“It's okay.” Alex put the guitar to the side.
“Can I come in?” Isabel asked, unsure what she was
asking. Whether he would allow her into his room or his life ever again?
“Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.” Alex helped her to come
through the window. Sitting at his window seat they were both silent until
Isabel started.
“Last semester, Miss Rikesdale told me that I only needed
to take one more class to graduate. So I did.”
“So you're graduating?” A year early. Alex was
impressed. He never noticed Isabel being that gung-ho about school, not to the
level of Liz and other brains. Obviously, he missed something.
“You're the only person that knows that.”
Alex sighed and glanced at her. “So are you like, going
to college?”
“I have no real idea, but it is a possibility. But what
I'm sure of, is that I'm graduating. And this is my last chance to have a Prom,
ever.” Isabel said stressing how important it was to her. Alex just sat there
in silence giving her nothing, no clue to how he felt. “Alex, please don't
make me just sit here.”
Alex took her hand. “Isabel Evans, go to the Prom with
me?” Isabel hugged him, laughing, happy …”
~~~
At the Crashdown Cafe, a group of students were gathered,
all decked out in their prom wear. Maria was fixing Liz's hair.
“Did you talk to Michael?” Liz asked.
“No.” Mara moved uncomfortably. She couldn’t. There
was this sea of seething emotions deep inside her, so volatile, that she was
afraid to open them, like Pandora’s Box. “Why? Is he looking?”
“No, just concentrate.” Liz told Maria, confused with
how Maria couldn’t know what she felt about Michael. “I thought you had a
date, or perspective dates.”
Maria blew out harshly. “I did. Michael found a detractor
for everyone one of them, and now I suspect he made up a few things.”
“Brody?”
Maria shook her head. “I … it was tempting, mind you,
but no.”
“He likes you.”
“No. He loves me.” Maria corrected. “And that is the
problem.” Maria saw Liz’s confusion. “When he was confused and had
Larek’s memories, he kissed me … twice. Now I like Brody, and God knows, I
am no expert, but personally, I expected to feel more from that kiss than I did.
If he was the one … the man,
shouldn’t my heart stop in my throat, my hands sweat, and feel like he’s
something I couldn’t do without?”
“No response, huh?”
“Friendship. Genuine caring, but otherwise … nope. So
letting him take me to the Prom, treat me like a princess … that would be cool
for me, but abusive of Brody, and I can’t do that.”
“And?” Liz prompted knowing it was more than that.
“And,” Maria admitted, “Michael is the only person I
wanted to share this night with, and he is otherwise … engaged with … What
an idiot, I swear, I hope he's lonely tonight.” Maria made a miserable face,
forgetting she wasn’t suppose to care. “I guess he doesn’t have that
problem anymore. He can go be with the new girlfriend.”
Liz glanced over to the cooking area behind the counter.
She caught Michael as he kept staring over at Maria. The look in his eyes, the
longing, and something that took her breath away, cut the air like a knife. He
looked upset, and vulnerable, and that was something she never expected to see.
When Kyle and Tess entered the Café Kyle sent Tess to a
table while he went to get them drinks. It wasn’t going smoothly. They always
got along so well, but since they left for the Prom, something changed. They
were awkward with each other. Kyle waited to order listening to Maria and Liz.
“No, I think it looks hot, Liz.”
“No, um okay, I'm gonna take a …” Liz went into the
back room to take care of her hair, and something else more important.
Kyle walked up to Maria, smiling. “Hello.”
“Hi.” Maria said waiting for Kyle to order from the
waitress. After he ordered his two cokes, both he and Maria glanced over to the
loud giggling from a booth where his father and her mother sat talking,
flirting, and well, general, ewww.
“I caught them making out on the couch,” Kyle told
Maria in horror.
“Dude, I caught them making out in the pantry
closet in the kitchen.” Maria made a face shaking her head. “It's just so
embarrassing. I may not eat canned food again.”
“I know, but there's nothing we can do about it. It’s
just raging hormones.” Kyle shared a look with Maria. “And they are our chaperones.”
“Yeah, it's ugh …” Maria glanced over to where Tess
was waiting. “Hey so are you and Tess uh … you know?”
“Oh no, actually, it's like, she uh, she's hot and uh,
but I feel really resistant for some reason, I can't quite put my finger on.”
“Well, maybe you're just gay.” Maria suggested
helpfully.
Kyle gave it a few moments of thought. “No, no …”
~~~
Liz checked her hair and then went to check on Michael. She
watched him from the door, his eyes continuously darting out to stare at Maria.
“Hey.” She said watching him startled when he hadn’t
realize that she was there.
“Hey.” His shift was over in half and hour, and then he
was going to take off … run away for a few hours from
“She doesn’t have a date.” Liz told him.
Michael stopped cooking. “Brody? He asked her, and …”
“She said no.” Liz shouldn’t, but then again it
wasn’t like either of them was going to help themselves. “She knows he’s
in love with her, and she doesn’t feel that way about him, so going with him
would be wrong.” Liz went to leave, but sent one last parting shot. “Plus
the person she really wanted to share the night with doesn’t believe in this
stuff.”
Liz went through to find Max had arrived. She asked Max if
he’d mind if Maria hung with them that night since she was dateless. They all
were gathered by Amy to take a group picture.
“Oh come on kids, we have to take pictures.” Amy told
the others as she looked around. “Come on, let’s go guys. Oh, Liz, you look
beautiful. Maria, you look absolutely perfect.” Amy looked about. “Where is
uh, Isabel, Alex, Tess, come on. Let’s take pictures. Who am I missing...?”
Amy glanced about. “… uh Michael. Come out here, mm hmm. Come on, let’s go
now.” Amy saw her date and made him get himself into the picture. “Uh, Jim,
come on, who am I going to stand with? Is that everyone? Oh, oh, this is going
to be great, um, Sean …” Amy looked around for her nephew. “Can you take
the picture for me?”
Sean stepped up, taking the camera from Amy as she joins
the group. He focused in on them, they were all laughing and happy. Snapping the
picture, his eyes darkened as he thought of all the things he missed … all
things he missed with his parents. Taking the picture, he put the camera down
and smiled at his aunt when she kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t want to
miss another moment.
Maria was depressed. Being a third wheel with Max and Liz
was hardly her idea of a fun night. Maybe she should’ve scrapped the whole
idea. Maybe she should’ve taken Michael’s suggestion and go somewhere else
for the night.
Prom. Her entire life it seemed like such a big thing.
Something to really look forward to, and anticipate. It tasted like ashes in her
mouth.
Maria glanced over and noticed Alex and Isabel. Laughing,
her mood lightened. Obviously, they found the formula of success. They looked
happy. Really happy … Maria sighed heavily not knowing what was making her so
depressed. Leaving the table to go check her makeup, and stake out the exits for
a quick escape, she mussed at Kyle getting into a fight with his friend Malamoot
over Tess. Proms really sucked.
Max and Liz were sitting at a table surprisingly missing a
few people. Maria had left a while ago, and Liz was about ready to go find her.
“So …” Max said looking around.
“Yeah …”
“You wanna dance?”
Liz smiled. “Sure.” They walked to the dance floor and
the music changed to slow music. They danced for a few moments, but Liz had a
hard time relaxing. This was turning out anything like she had dreamed.
“Max, I just want to say that I feel really weird.”
Max leaned back so he could look at her better. “What do
you mean?”
“I mean I saw you with Tess.”
“Saw me what with Tess?”
“I saw you with her. I came by your house yesterday to
talk to you about something and you were with her.”
Max nodded remembering when Tess was there and why. “We
were just trying to find out things about where I came from, that's all.”
“I know, I know, I mean, you know, you keep saying that,
but you um, keep on leaving out this really pertinent fact.” Liz explained
emphasizing the point of her discomfort. “That you were married to her. I feel
like my whole life for the past year has been waiting for some really bad news.
Oh, you know, by the way Liz, I remember Tess, and I love her. It's really
paralyzing.” It was worse than that. She hated Tess for coming to
“I know it's not easy.”
“No, Max, it can be. It can be really, really easy.”
Liz said. “You know, we both just stop pretending.”
Max stopped dancing not liking what was happening. She was
breaking up with him again, and this time they weren’t even together. “What
do you mean?”
“You know, maybe we're both just holding on to something
that'll never be.” Liz said breaking her own heart, but it was what she felt.
What she felt since she heard about destiny, that Tess was Max’s wife, and
since Future Max told her that marrying Max destroyed everyone. “Max, maybe we
should just let go. I have been in so much pain this whole year, and it's like
I'm suffocating.”
“Liz.” Max couldn’t believe it. He made her feel like
she was suffocating. A very painful moment of finality came over them as Liz
shook her head at him. Seeing Maria returning to the dance was like a godsend, a
way to end the torture.
“Um, I should go, you know, for Maria.” Liz told him.
“Right,” Max stepped back.
“She's all alone tonight.” Liz explained feeling a need
to excuse herself from wanting … needing to be away from him.
“Go ahead.”
“Max.” Liz said seeing the pain in his eyes.
“Go ahead.” He nodded to Maria.
~~~
While Liz broke with Max again, Kyle and Tess had a talk.
Kyle finally came to a realization while talking to Malamoot, or better yet,
while pounding on Malamoot’s face. He knew why he was resistant to make a move
on Tess, and it wasn’t because he was gay like he reassured Maria earlier. He
resisted because he saw Tess like a sister. Letting her down easily, he suddenly
felt lighter and more in the mood to have a good time.
Max couldn’t say the same thing. His night went from full
of promise to very bleak. He hung back and watched Liz and Maria dancing on the
floor with abandon, both of them out of their shoes laughing. He watched for a
bit, but it was what he always had done. Watch from a distance, watched Liz
Parker and her best friend Maria, and wished he could be part of her life. He
watched for a while, and then he walked away.
~~~
Michael entered the doors to the Prom. He stopped to look
around, trying to find her. Maria saw him first, stopping her dancing as Liz ran
into her. They both stared at Michael in unfamiliar formal wear, all in black,
not quite a tux, but somehow it suited him better.
“Okay, go.” Liz said pushing Maria towards Michael.
“No, no, me and you, we're a couple now.” Maria said.
Liz laughed pushing Maria harder until she tripped a little
straightening to see Michael coming towards her. “Go!” Liz encouraged.
Maria straightened her dress as she and Michael walked up
to each other.
“What are you doing here?”
“Came here to dance,” Michael told her, frowning at her
attitude.
“Well you shoulda brought Juanita.”
Michael lifted an eyebrow in surprise. “How do you know
about her?”
“I followed you to your pod.” Maria said shrugging as
if it was nothing.
Michael sighed. He should have known. “Juanita's my dance
teacher.”
“Your dance teacher?”
“Yeah, I can't dance.” Michael confessed.
“Yes you can. We dance all the time.”
“That’s to real music, Maria. Not to this stuff …”
Michael gestured to the soft, slower romantic tune playing. “I never had a mom
or anyone to teach me, and I was suspicious that I wouldn’t be any good at it
anyway. So …” Michael shrugged. “And I knew this was a big deal for you so
I was taking dancing lessons.”
Maria turned red, and laughing, she put her hands over her
hot cheeks.
“Are you laughing at me?” Michael asked. Crazy. He had
just confessed to her, and she laughed.
“Oh, my God...” Maria shook her head, astounded at her
blunder, and how wrong she had it. “I … I thought that you and … Oh
God!”
“Wait, did you think Juanita was some chick I was boffing?”
Michael said his eyes narrowing as he tried to piece together how Maria figured
out about Juanita.
“Oh, my God...” Maria kept repeating, not sure how to
settle what she was feeling. Confused. She was definitely confused. Relieved.
Happy. Amazed. God … oh, God!
“How the hell did you find out about it in the first
place …”
“Oh, my God, I am like the stupidest person alive.”
“Okay.” Michael agreed, not wanting to argue with her.
“Juanita declared me unteachable, but if you want to risk personal injury
…” He gestured to the dance floor.
They headed out to the dance floor.
Maria laughed as she put a hand on his shoulder. He was stiff, real
stiff, and the look on his face confirmed his impending doom.
“Michael, relax! What is the worst that could happen?”
“I could maim you for life, destroy your feet …
crushing them to pulp and be forced to carry you around for life.”
“That is bad, but if you remember,” Maria said, “you
have fallen on me, tossed me out a window. I think I was almost shot a few
times. There was that time you rolled over in your sleep and almost crushed me
flat. How about the time we went to Six Flags in
“I didn’t throw up! The G-factor force pushed all the
food out of my stomach.”
“Yeah, some spaceman you are.” They were so busy
talking and arguing that Michael never noticed that he was dancing.
~~~
Max was outside sitting alone in the hall holding his
corsage. Kyle and Tess were returning to the Prom when they came upon him. Tess
patted Kyle on the shoulder.
“I'll meet you inside in a minute, okay?”
Kyle looked at the dejected Max and nodded. “Sure.”
Tess waited until Kyle went inside before going to sit with
Max. “You look sad.”
“I think it's really over.”
“You mean with Liz?”
“Yeah. I mean I, I realize that, I guess that on some
level that things were headed in that direction. I think it's really actually
over.” Tess squeezed his arm in sympathy knowing what it was like to love
someone that was out of reach.
~~~
Isabel and Alex were dancing, and it reminded her so much
of his dream, the dream she entered so many years ago. He was romantic then, and
he was romantic now.
“Alex, I'm going to do something, I said I wouldn't
do.”
Alex noticed the look in her eyes. “Don't.” She ignored
him and kissed him anyway. Alex drew back.
“I asked you not to do that.”
Isabel smiled when she saw the adoration in his eyes, and
reaching up she wrapped an arm around his neck as they kissed again. They were
drawing attention, and Maria smiled punching Michael lightly when he made a
disgusted sound. Liz was watching too. Looking around, she tried to find Max,
but he wasn’t around. Leaving the dance, she went to find him. Hearing voices,
she followed them.
“I remembered something else.” Max confessed to Tess.
“I don't know how to feel about it.”
“What do you remember?”
“Our first kiss. It was at a party … late at night. And
you …”
“I, I leaned in … and whispered in your ear and then
you touched my cheek …” Tess helped him, already remembering almost
everything about her and Max.
Max nodded. “And then we just …” They kissed.
Liz walked around the corner in time to see them. Shaking
her head, she slowly backed away, and then turning she rushed to an exit tossing
her corsage in the trash before running out of the school while Max and Tess
continued to kiss.
Liz looked for a while, but she finally found his car. She
should’ve known. He was parked at the bowling alley. Liz walked in, stopping
to watch Sean for a few moments before he turned around and saw her. He smiled.