Cry
Your Name……….
Maria and Liz watched Alex as he sat on his bed with his
guitar across his lap, his fingers drumming on the soundboard. He was talking to
Isabel on the phone.
“Yeah, it was a great night for me too.”
“Yeah? So what are you doing tonight?”
Isabel asked.
“Tonight?” Alex glanced at Maria and Liz in desperation
for something to say. They were both signaling to him to say no. No! Absolutely
not! “I can't.”
“Whyyyy?” Isabel’s voice took on a pout, confused that he didn’t
want to spend his free time with her. Last time, when they sort of got together,
he was there for her all the time.
“I have a, ah,” Alex made a face as he tried to hear
Liz and Maria’s whispers. “I'm studying.” They both nodded
enthusiastically.
“Alex. An A is the best you can get.”
“Yeah, I know. But I gotta, I've got a monstrous final
in, ah,” Alex threw his hands as Maria and Liz grabbed the nearest book on his
desk holding it up for him to see. “Robert Frost?” Alex questioned as Maria
and Liz shook their heads frantically. “English. Eng … English -- I've got a
killer final, Mr. Broski's really puttin' the screws to us.”
Isabel said playfully and he could imagine her on her bed
talking to him, “Well, if you'd rather stay and study, not come out and
play with me …”
Alex gritted his teeth as the girls whispered, "Stay
strong!" and made a big show of flexing arm muscles. Alex almost lost it.
“I don't want to, but I have to.” Maria and Liz exchanged looks of triumph
and glee as they high-five’d each other for a job well done.
“Well, if you change your mind, I'll be at the Crashdown,
probably until closing. So...”
“Okay, well ... I'll see you later.”
“Okay.” Isabel said reluctantly, uncertain what just happened
there as she hung up.
Alex sunk back onto the bed groaning. Maria and Liz quickly
moved next to him.
“I'm so proud of you!” Maria told Alex.
“This blows.” Alex put his arm across his eyes.
“Well, at least you have the upper hand.” Maria pointed
out.
“Yeah, you've got her
chasing you.” Liz agreed with Maria,
also proud of their boy. “Who'd have thought that?”
“Not me,” Maria admitted. Never in a million years did
she imagine that Alex could play it so cool, so masterfully with Isabel.
“She's thinking about me. Even now, she's on her bed, and
she's thinking about me.” Alex repeated in shock and aw, the tragedy of him
being there with his two goofball friends and not next to Isabel, speeding their
freshly renewed relationship alone.
“Okay. So, are we done with this Isabel thing?” Maria
asked, the human friend’s coalition against an earth dominated by aliens.
“All right.” She turned her ever seeing eyes on Liz, the seriousness of the
situation imperative enough to ask. “Max kissed Tess.”
Liz got off the bed, not ready to go there, not even with
her two oldest friends. Heck, not even with herself in her room alone at night,
all depressed. “Maria, let's go to work.”
“Okay.” Maria kissed Alex on the cheek. Liz’s back
off signals were up and high. Best part of valor was to back away, and attack at
a different angle at a different time.
“Come on.” Liz told Maria before turning to Alex.
“Alex, you be strong, Okay?”
“Strong, strong, strong,” Maria chanted in an
encouraging mantra.
Liz made a playful gesture of iron man at Alex. “Just be
strong, okay?” Alex nodded smirking at them, happy to see them together, all
of them laughing. It felt good. It felt like old times. “Goodbye.” Liz said
as she and Maria left his room.
Alex sighed harshly as he stared at his ceiling, muttering
to himself, “Strong. Str … Yeah.”
As Liz and Maria reached the door on their way out a
delivery kid arrived outside.
“Hey, is this Whitman?”
“Oh, yeah.” Liz yelled to Alex in the house. “Hey,
Alex, your food's here!”
“Here, come in.” Maria told the delivery guy, letting
him into the house turning back to Alex, blowing him a kiss with a sassy wink.
“Bye.”
Alex approached the delivery man happy to see his food.
“Ah, it's about time.”
“Sorry, man, I got turned around on
“Yeah.” Alex took his takeout order handing over a
credit card.
“Thanks.” The boy quickly processed the card.
Alex checked his order. “Hey, this isn't even warm.”
“Aw, yeah. Sorry. You better nuke it.”
Alex lost it, his face fusing with color as his eyes became
confused. “I'm, I'm … I'm so sick
of this! I'm … Always the same thing, always cold. Always the same thing --
I'm just so sick of everything.”
The delivery guy frowned at Alex, perplexed by his
reaction. He took the receipt for the credit card handing it to Alex. “Here,
could you sign here? Please?”
Alex took the receipt quickly signing still talking more to
himself. “Why does life have to be so wrong? Why does everything have to be a
lie?”
“I dunno, dude.” The kid took the credit slip and
quickly left an upset Alex.
Alex opened a soda taking a sip. His eyes wandered to a
framed picture. Picking it up, he stared at a picture of Leanna and himself in
~~~
Jim was driving his pickup truck when he arrived at an
accident scene blocking the road way. There were flares, a wrecker, and an
ambulance. Jim got out, seeing Hanson.
“Hey, Hanson. Whatcha got?”
“Pretty bad.” Hanson told Jim his face clearly upset.
“A sedan doing about 70 did a head-on with a semi.”
“Fatalities?”
“Yeah, one.”
Jim caught Hanson’s look, so he had to ask. “Anyone I
know?”
Hanson had no words, only a mournful look. Jim walked
around him to go look for himself.
~~~
Maria gave a short scream as falling plates shattered at
her feet. Michael lifted a brow at her as he innocently pretended that it
wasn’t his fault that she reacted so violently to the little pinch he gave her
when she wandered by. She was upset. Her shift was over half an hour ago, as was
his, but her replacement was late.
“Not a word.” She warned Michael. Looking at the mess,
she shook her head. “Great.” Maria quickly shoved the mess onto a dirty dish
tray.
Michael smirked, watching her go into the back room to
dispose of the mess. He waited for her at a table with Max.
“You are so full of it.” Max continued, drawing
Michael’s attention back to him and away from the irritated Maria.
“I just call it like I see it.” Michael answered
smugly, his eyes still where Maria had disappeared. She was so damn …
colorful... when she was in a snit.
“You can't compare The Matrix to Crouching
Tiger.”
Michael made a face. The hell he couldn’t. “Crapping
Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu.”
“First of all, Crappi …” Max caught himself. “Crouching
Tiger is actually about something. Love. Honor. Trust.”
“Matrix is about something,” Michael reassured
Max. “Illusion, reality, gunfire.”
“You simply can't prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh.
You can't.” Max said firmly strong on that point. “I won't let you.”
Michael chuckled as Liz sat at a table by herself, doing
some accounting. Isabel and Tess were in a booth, joking with Kyle over some
pictures from the Prom.
In the back room Maria dumped the broken dishes. She was
startled to turn around and find that she was not alone. Valenti was in the back
doorway, his face a study in misery as he looked right through her.
“What?” Maria asked, not without a little apprehension,
her hand going to her heart. Her mother?
In the Crashdown the others jumped in shock at Maria’s
scream of distress from the back room. “No!”
Michael immediately went on alert and was already halfway
to the back door when Maria burst in, she ran straight into Michael’s arms,
her head buried in his chest, clinging to him as her entire body shook. He
glanced down at her. She was crying, violently. His hand went up as he stared at
the back door, prepared to murder whatever had hurt her. Jim Valenti entered and
all others slowly stood up their eyes on him and Michael lowered his hand.
“There's been an accident.” Jim told the group, his
eyes glassy and his voice hoarse with emotion. “Alex is dead.”
~~~
The group of them stood outside behind City Hall with Jim
watching at a nearby parking lot behind the city morgue. The Coroner’s van
arrived as two attendants got out and Jim quickly intercepted them getting them
out of the way so Max could try to heal Alex. They waited as Max approached the
van alone.
“He'll need to use his powers, to open the doors.”
Isabel said in a running commentary, needing the comfort of them doing
something, bringing Alex back. Max entered the van. He shut the doors and opened
the body bag. He took a deep breath and reached in to put his hand on Alex’s
chest, trying to bring him back to life.
Maria was behind Michael, her head resting on his back as
his hand reached behind him holding her firmly to his back. Liz stood to the
side of them staring straight ahead, her eyes never leaving the van, waiting for
Max … praying.
“… and Alex will sit up suddenly, and Max will jump
back, and the whole van will shake a little.” Isabel said as the van remained
motionless. “… the whole … the whole van will shake, and they'll come
running back here with big goofy grins on their faces, and we'll have to come up
with some kind of cover story for Hanson and everybody …” Isabel wringed her
hands as Maria gave an audible cry of pain as Max emerged from the van alone.
Michael’s hands tightened on her. He could feel the wetness of her tears
through the material of his shirt as her hands tightened on his waist.
Max somberly returned to the group.
“Max?” Isabel shook her head in despair.
Valenti rejoined the group giving Max a questioning look as
the answer sank in. “I think you should all go home now.” Jim told the group
of youths.
Maria looked up from Michael’s shoulder to see the
attendants transferring the body. Taking Alex … away. “Oh my God!” She
cried almost collapsing as Michael quickly turned and pulled her into his arms,
supporting her.
“Come on, I'll take you home.” Michael led Maria away,
his arms tight, not letting her go. They didn’t notice the others, both of
them wrapped up in their own misery and each other. Maria kept muttering to him
that they couldn’t leave Alex. They couldn’t leave him alone. He’d be
cold.
Max looked helplessly at his hand covered with Alex’s
blood. Isabel gave him a hard stare before she then turned away sharply,
practically running in the direction of their home. Max had saved Liz, his love,
but not hers. Not Alex.
“Max. Go after her.” Tess encouraged her eyes red
rimmed and upset.
Max paused glancing at Liz. “Liz, …”
Liz still staring dully at the van said sharply to Max,
“Yeah. Go after her, Max.” Left with few choices, Max went after his
bereaved sister. Valenti gathered Kyle and Tess to him to take them home pausing
for a moment for Liz, but she remained unmoving. Giving up, Jim left her there
to grieve as she would. There was no helping them now. Alex was gone, and all
that was left was learning to accept it.
~~~
Maria didn’t make it. She couldn’t finish the walk
home. Michael easily picked her up and carried her the rest of the way as her
arms circled his neck, holding him tightly as she cried in his chest. The walk
was long, but she wasn’t heavy … she wasn’t a burden. Walking into the
DeLuca house, he stopped in the doorway when Amy saw them, saw her crying child.
“Maria! What happened?” Amy stood up slowly her eyes on
her child, and then on Michael. His eyes were darker than she had ever seen
them, and she caught a look in them of pain. Amy quickly sat back down on the
sofa. “Michael?”
Michael took Maria to her mother easily transferring her to
Amy, he slowly stood up.
“Michael?” Amy begged as her daughter wept
uncontrollably on her and she held her tight.
“Alex,” was all he said. Amy’s hand went to her mouth
and then Maria’s head as tears flooded her eyes. Michael couldn’t leave
them. He stayed as their crying cut at him. Standing at the window he looked out
into the night as the tears moved down his face unnoticed.
~~~
It was early dawn when Kyle’s alarm clock woke him. He
really wasn’t asleep anyway. He spent the night staring at the ceiling above
the sofa. He rolled off the sofa and started doing his morning pushups. Routine.
It was all he had left. He completed a few, but couldn’t do any more. He sat
up miserable sinking his head in his hands.
“Hey, Dad.” Kyle said quietly when his dad came into
the room.
“Morning,” Jim sat down on the sofa to look at his son
slumped on the floor, sitting there still. “Not a very happy day, is it?”
Kyle gave a small shake of the head. He couldn’t breathe
or move, or … anything. Alex, his comrade in arms facing death by blue alien
crystals, dying this way? This way? Senseless. Kyle couldn’t settle his
stomach or the shaking in his body. He sat back on the sofa and wrapped in a
blanket hoping for some warmth.
“Listen. Ah, this may not seem like very much right now,
but there's something I'd like you to know. Alex died yesterday.” Jim
stressed. “He didn't die today. And I don't want you remembering it as if it
happened today. All right?” Jim stared at his miserable son, pausing. He
patted the blanket. “Happy birthday, Son.”
Kyle pressed his father's hand with his own, as a tear
moved down his face.
~~~
Isabel was sitting in a booth at the Crashdown when Alex
came up behind her.
“Psst.” Alex said scaring her.
Isabel jumped up seeing Alex. “Oh, Alex!” She hugged
him tight laughing and crying at the same time. “Oh, Alex! Oh my God, I
thought you were dead.”
“Aw no, no,” Alex laughed as he returned her hug.
“Listen, that was, that was just a big misunderstanding. Everything's fine,
right?” Isabel nodded a watery agreement as Alex handed her into the booth.
“Sit down, sit down.” He took the seat across from her. “So, how're you
doin'?”
“Fine,” Isabel said her eyes eating him up. Smiling she
laughed at herself. “Fine, now.”
“Good. So, have you made any decision about college
yet?”
“Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay.” She told him.
“Graduate with Max and you guys.”
“Good.” Alex smiled at her happy that she made a
decision he loved. “Good, because... I'd miss you if you were gone.”
“Yeah, I would miss you too.” Isabel’s eyes filled
with tears again remembering the past years, all the times she pushed him away,
replaced him with other people … all the time she wasted looking for something
that was right in front of her. “I just, I just don't want to be away from you
anymore.”
“No, ah, no worries about that -- I'm not goin'
anywhere.” Alex glanced at his watch grimacing. “Except band practice. See,
I'm runnin' late, and the guys are waitin' for me, so I gotta jet.” He stood
up and leaned over Isabel. “But I'm gonna see you tonight, right?”
“Yeah. Yeah,” Isabel answered through tears, just happy
to be with him as they kissed.
“Okay. I’ll see you later.” Alex said emphatically
before leaving as Isabel watched him walk out the door.
“Isabel.”
Isabel frowned in her sleep.
“Isabel,” Diane Evans voice said as it broke into her dream.
“Isabel, wake up, honey.” Isabel woke. Sitting up, she looked around
confused at being in her room with her mother sitting on the side of her bed.
“Oh, my God, it was just a dream. It was just a dream
...” Isabel began to cry again as she realized that she had dreamt Alex alive,
but he was dead.
“Oh, sweetheart. Ohh...” Diane hugged her daughter.
~~~
Michael entered the room as the phone rang. Handing Amy two
cups of hot tea, he went to answer it. “DeLuca residence.”
“Michael?” Sean said his voice irritated from hearing Michael’s
voice. “What, are you sneakin' breakfast or just finally moved in? Don't
you have to be at school or somethin'?”
“Sean, shut up, okay?” Michael said talking low into
the phone, glancing over to keep an eye on the two weeping women huddled
together. “Alex was killed last night.”
“What?” Sean’s voice went quiet and solemn. “How?”
“Car accident.”
“Awwww, Geez...” Sean sighed in the phone. “How's Maria?”
“Pretty torn up. Same with your aunt.” Michael kept an
eye on them. Maria had cried nonstop all night long. She wasn’t eating. She
wasn’t good. Not good at all.
“Look. I, ah, I got this court thing in
“I'll take care of 'em.” Michael promised. Sean
didn’t have to ask. They were his family too.
“Thanks.” Sean paused uncertain what else to say. “Later …”
~~~
“Sean?” Nancy Parker said when she answered the phone.
“No, Max.”
“Sorry, Max. I thought you were Sean. I just … I just
got off the phone with him.”
“Me neither.”
“How are you doing?”
“Not as close as Liz. How is she?”
“She's not doing so … so well.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“She's not here, she's out. She went out -- I don't even
know where she went.” Nancy Parker bit her lip. Her relationship with her
daughter wasn’t close, hadn’t been for a long time. She regretted that. “I
think she just needs a little bit of space right now.”
“Right. Um, can you just tell her that I called?
Thanks.” Max
hung up.
While Max was talking to Liz’s mother, Liz was walking
alone in an auto junkyard. She walked it twice searching, finally she saw a
wrecker with a car on it covered by a tarp. Climbing up, she pulled back the
tarp to look at the wreck of Alex’s car. Biting the inside of her mouth to
keep from screaming, she opened the driver’s door and looked inside. Blood,
there was blood everywhere. Observing it with detachment, her eyes moved over
the area as if memorizing everything, seeing it in her mind, Alex’s last
moments. Frowning, she spotted a piece of paper lodged between the seat and the
door. It was the picture of Alex and Leanna -- except that Alex's face has been
cut away.
~~~
Maria finally made it to school. She paused at Alex’s
locker which had been transformed into a memorial of flowers and cards.
Michael’s hands held her tightly from behind as she stared at the gifts left
there. For a moment, Maria leaned forward resting her forehead on the locker,
and then pulled away kissing her hand and touching the locker door. She glanced
over to see Liz.
“Liz.”
Liz came over hugging her frowning at Maria’s pale face.
“Hey. How you doing?”
“Not good.” Maria admitted honestly. She didn’t even
know why she was there, but where else should she be? Michael was an ever
constant figure just at her shoulder, quiet, but a comfort.
“Just try and get through the day, okay? Just keep moving
forward, keep breathing.” Liz encouraged.
“Okay.” Maria said nodding. “How 'bout you? How are
you?” She was only just noticing how calm and put together Liz appeared.
Michael had had to practically dress her that morning.
“I'm fine.” Liz assured her emphatically.
“Come on, it's me.” Maria shook her head. That was
impossible. She was a basket case, and Liz … Liz had as much connection to
Alex as she did. “You don't have to put up a front.”
Liz took out the picture she found showing it to Maria,
needing someone else to see what she saw. “Look at this.”
Michael glanced at the picture too over Maria’s shoulder.
“Isn't that …”
“Yeah, it's Alex and Leanna in
Maria’s face paled even more, something Michael swore was
impossible. Her mouth opened in shook as she looked physically ill. “Oh, my
God! Oh, my God!”
Michael stepped in quickly to help support her, taking most
of her weight. “It's all right.” He held her head firmly forcing her eyes to
focus on him instead of the threatening confusion. “Hey, it's all right.”
Maria’s arms went around Michael so tight it was if she
were trying to climb into his body. “Oh, my God!” She stared at her friend
… at Liz in a dawning horror.
Liz was oblivious to everything but the picture and her own
thoughts. “Look. Look at the way it's been cut up. Someone cut off …”
“I'm gonna be sick!” Maria’s face fused with color
for the first time since she got the news from Jim. “I can't believe you went
there!!” she screamed at Liz as hysteria rose in voice and bile in her throat.
“Maria!” Liz said, screaming back at the devastated
Maria, shoving the mutilated picture of their friend in Maria’s face, her
fervor increasing as she needed someone … Maria to understand, to listen.
“This means something. Why is Alex's head missing?”
“Stop it!” Maria yelled at Liz, begged her as tears
streamed down her face. Michael pulled her back as Maria made a step forward to
confront Liz, to make her stop, to shut her up. “Stop it!!”
“Shhh -- it's okay.” Michael told Maria as he rocked
her against him, holding her away from Liz, away from the deranged girl intent
on making Maria hurt.
Liz faced with their united front turned away. “It means
something.” She told them.
“Yeah, that
you’re whacked,” Michael thought. He continued making shushing noises to
Maria as he took her to their usual spot, the eraser room. Michael put her into
the room, setting her down. He bent lower so he was at her level where she sat,
her eyes unfocused and the little color she had bleeding away again.
“Maria.” She wasn’t hearing him. “Maria!” he said
loudly as she lifted her eyes to his. “You stay here. I’m going to get you
something hot to drink. I’ll be just a few moments.” Maria didn’t make a
sound. “Maria? Do you understand?” She nodded. Michael kissed her forehead
as he left the room reaching over to lock the door, keeping her safe from Liz,
inside where he could find her.
It only took Michael a few moments to find Liz, still
walking around with her blank face, staring at everyone suspiciously. Michael
came up behind her fast turning her around.
“What the hell was that?!” Michael took his hands off
the slight girl, fists tightening in anger. He would like to wring her scrawny
Parker neck. “She’s your friend! The only one you have left. How could you
ambush her when she’s barely standing?”
“It means something, Michael. I’m right. Maria has to
know. She has to know that …”
“That you care more about being right than about her
pain? Do you honestly think she can hear a word you say? All she could see was
that picture of her mutilated friend, the same friend that died a day ago!”
Michael ran his hands through his hair in frustration as it became apparent
nothing was clicking in Liz’s brain. Whatever the damage was in there, he
didn’t have time or inclination to worry or fix. He needed to get back to
Maria. She was his … his …
“I don’t know what this is, or what you were expecting
to accomplish, but until you can act like a friend to Maria, understand how
devastated she is … stay the hell away from her! You hit at her like that
again … I’ll come for you, Liz Parker, and it won’t be good.” Michael
didn’t even wait to see Liz’s reaction. He stalked away in a cloud of anger
as people watching the interaction with interest quickly moved out of his way.
~~~
Hanson and Jim went to the hospital to question the truck
driver whose semi had the collision with Alex’s car. They questioned him
harshly, but one thing was apparently clear, Alex had swerved into the
trucker’s lane in a head on collision, and the trucker had swerved to get out
of his way.
They followed up on their next lead in piecing together
Alex’s last moments before the accident. At school they requested an interview
with the kid who delivered Alex’s takeout that afternoon. Jim questioned the
kid while Hanson checked with Alex’s teachers.
“I don't know -- he just got really depressed. It was
weird, you know? I mean, I deliver a lot of cold food -- and usually people just
get pissed off. You know? They don't act like it's the end of the world.” The
kid told them nervous at being questioned. Did being late make Alex snap? Was it
his fault?
“Is that how he acted, like it was the end of the
world?” Jim asked quietly.
“Yeah.”
Jim hated the answer. “He say anything specific you
remember?”
“Life was wrong. Everything about life is a lie. Why does
it have to be that way?” The kid was repeating Alex’s rant. “Stuff like
that.”
“Okay. Thanks, Jerry.” Jim dismissed the kid as the
bell rang ending the session and Hanson walked into the room they were using for
interrogations.
“Talked to his teachers,” Hanson handed Jim the file.
“None of them saw anything unusual in his behavior at the time. But, looking
back they saw some warning signs: moody, sometimes confident, even cocky; other
times sullen, quiet, unfocused.”
“Sounds like every teenager I ever met.” Jim said as he
read the file.
“Listen, I … know you don't want to talk about this
theory.”
Jim looked up from his reading. “Don't go there.”
“Jim, there's a pattern here.”
“No, there's not.” Jim told Hanson firmly.
Hanson pondered it for a moment. “I hope you're right.”
~~~
Tess and Max were watching from behind the bleachers as a
growing memorial for Alex on the athletic field was progressing. Students
gathered in the bleachers watching the growing display of flowers, lit candles,
and signed a placard.
“There was so much … blood. I wasn't prepared for
that.” Max told Tess.
“You had to try.” The alien girl told him as she held
onto his arm in sympathy.
“I didn't want to touch him. And then his skin was so
cold.” Max started to cry. He buried his face until Isabel, Michael and Maria
walked up. Max turned away until he could wipe away some tears and compose
himself.
“School's brought in the official grief counselor. She's
got all our names, so -- be on the lookout.” Michael told Max.
Maria was pale and shaking, not in pain of grief, but
rather in anger. Pointing towards the field, her voice raised, breaking under
the pressure as she barely held on. “Do you see these people? Who are
they?! They don't even know Alex. They weren't even his friends. And they're
sitting there praying and crying and putting on this show as if they gave a damn
about Alex while he was alive?” Michael grabbed the angry pacing girl to quiet
her, to keep her restrained before she exploded into a mass of anger and went
and charged into the memorial. “God, it makes me so angry!”
Michael bent his head and whispered to her in a low tone,
his hand stilling her angry body. She nodded, and looked up at him, and the
others were silent as the two did a silent communication. Slowly, with her anger
spent, Michael pulled her firmly into his arms and against him.
Kyle had walked up watching Michael comforting Maria,
waiting until Maria calmed down enough to talk. “Hey.” He took a long pause,
his jaw clenching as he tried to remain in control. “Mr. Whitman called the
house this morning, and asked if me and you and you,” Kyle indicated Michael
and Max, “would be pallbearers tomorrow.”
Michael nodded as he held Maria, his chin on the top of her
head. “Right.”
“Sure.” Max agreed.
Michael took a seat, keeping Maria with him. He didn’t
trust her not to look through the bleachers and see the memorial service and
take off in a flurry of anger.
Isabel was quiet through it all, but she had something to
tell them. It was easy, but she told her mother already, and all that was left
was the others.
“I have something to tell all of you. I know this is a
bad time, but … umm, I'm graduating early. I'm leaving in June to start
college in the fall in
Max stood up. “When did all this happen?”
“I've been thinking about it for awhile. I talked to Mom
this morning and she's fine with it.”
“Look, Isabel, this isn't the time to be making snap
judgments about things.” Max told her. Michael glanced over as he literally
held Maria almost on his lap, his hands soothing her as she stared off. He kept
his hand on her face, holding her close to him as he watched the Max and Isabel
fight.
Isabel couldn’t believe he couldn’t see how important
this was for her, how much she needed it. “This is my life, Max.”
Max saw the firm look on Isabel’s face. “No one is
disputing that.”
Maria finally stirred. Alex was dead, not even buried and
the aliens were going to argue over their futures? Couldn’t they give at least
a day or two before they demanded the world return to revolving around them and
their self-centered lives? “Do we have to talk about this right now?” Maria
asked desperate for peace, desperate for a calm in Alex’s death, not a war.
Michael could feel the girl in his arms lean into him
spent. She was too tired to go on, and so was he. “Maria's right -- this isn't
a decision that we have to make today.”
“This isn't a decision we have to make at all,
it's my decision.” Isabel told Michael. “I've made it. I'm leaving
“Fine.” Maria said standing unable to be there any
longer. “Glad we took this commercial break to get your life settled … now
can we go back to the business of burying one of my best friends? After all,
it’s not like we’re talking about you leaving for what? Months? Alex is gone
forever, and can’t we give him at least a few days of thought? That’s more
than any of those,” Maria waved at the mass of mourners who never had a moment
of time for Alex, who discounted him, made fun of him and were out their all
upset over his death, “posers ever gave him in life.”
“Maria …” Michael whispered softly, seeing her ready
to lose it.
“Can we all for just a few days, or at least until we
bury him in the ground let it be about him, and not us? We have our entire lives
to obsess over our needs, wants, and lives. Alex … Alex has none.” Maria
walked away to disgusted and unhappy to be there.
Michael didn’t even pause, he took off after her. The
group remained quiet as they watched Michael catch up to her. He turned her
around, and they watched as he talked to her before pulling her into his arms
holding her for a moment before leading her away from the memorial, and home.
~~~
As Michael took Maria home, on the field, the delivery kid,
Jerry, was telling his story to a rapt circle of listeners. “So, finally I
left. He was losing it and you could totally see it in his eyes. I mean, he was
on his way out of this life.”
“Is that a fact?” Liz said sharply as the other
students saw her and moved away.
“Ohh …”
“I'd like to ask you some questions if you have the
time.” Liz said coldly, her tone brooking no denial.
Trapped, Jerry nodded staring at the emotionless girl
wondering if she was on her way out too.
“And then what did he say?” Liz asked as Jerry told her
what he told Jim.
“I don't know. I mean, "Life isn't right" or
"Life is wrong" -- something like that.”
“Yeah, and then what did you say?”
“Well, I said "Whatever, dude."”
Liz made a huffing noise in disbelief.
“"Whatever, dude"? That's your reaction to a man who is
devastated and on his way out of this life? Isn't that how you described him to
your fan club?”
“Look, I wasn't …. I mean, uh, I'm sorry I sounded like
that.”
“Yeah. If you remember anything else, anything, my
parents own the Crashdown, you can usually find me there.”
~~~
Jim stared at the picture that Liz found in Alex’s card
with a growing unease.
“I know that this photo means something. I know it.”
Liz said.
“Yeah,” Jim said quietly, pondering.
Liz caught Jim’s reaction. “What?”
“Well, I don't really know.”
“What?” Liz knew it. Jim was holding out on her.
“Don't give me that! You’re onto something -- this is a clue, isn't it?”
“Maybe. We're a long way from …” Jim didn’t want to
admit how the investigation was shaping up.
“You. You have a theory about this, don't you?”
“Liz …” Jim gently moved her towards the door not
able to voice something Liz wouldn’t want to hear or believe. “Liz, this has
been a very, very difficult day, and I think maybe the best thing for you now
…”
“No!” Liz shook her head. She wasn’t going to be put
off. Alex was dead, and someone was responsible.
“… would be to go on home and try to get some …”
“No, I do not need another grief counselor -- I
want some answers! I know what happened to Alex was not an accident. I
know it with every fiber of my being and I’m gonna find out the truth, so cut
the crap and tell me what the photo means to you.”
Jim sighed, but nodded. “Okay … . You're not gonna like
what I'm about to say.”
“Tell me.”
“It's beginning to look more and more likely that Alex
may have deliberately turned his car into the oncoming traffic.”
“Wha … Wh …” Liz shook her head disbelieving.
“Why would he do that?”
Jim shook his head sadly, equally perplexed. “The last
couple of weeks, people have noticed changes in Alex's behavior. Moodiness, lack
of focus. His grades started to slip.”
“Oh, please!” Liz said in derision. No way! No fucking
way!
“Liz, I interviewed the truck driver, I … I went to the
accident scene, I saw the school reports.”
“You are saying that Alex killed himself over bad
grades?!” Liz couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t believe it. It was impossible.
“We may never know exactly why Alex did what he did. But
… Look at this,” Jim picked up the photo, “… this is part of the puzzle,
isn't it? I mean, look at it! He deliberately defaced his own image. This …
believe me, it … it tears me up to even have to say this …”
Liz snatched the photo from him. “Thank you for your
time.” Walking away from the house, she slowly paced the dark streets of
~~~
Max glanced over to his window when there came a knock. It
wouldn’t be Michael; he always came inside. It could be Maria. She always
knocked. Or Tess … Max stood back, surprised to see Liz there.
“I don't want to be alone. Can … can I stay here
tonight?” Liz asked. She couldn’t go to Maria, not after earlier that day,
and how upset she had made Maria. How could she tell her best friend that the
world would believe that their life long friend, Alex committed suicide? She
couldn’t, and then there was Michael who wouldn’t let her anywhere near
Maria. Max … he was all she had left.
“Sure.” Max stood aside and allowed Liz to climb in
herself. He was too afraid to offer her a hand, not after what went on between
them. He looked her over, and she looked terrible. Her face was pale, and she
was smaller than he remembered. He could see the lines of tiredness etched into
her face.
Being a friend, or trying to be, he listened as she told
him what she had done since they found out about Alex. Her voice hollowing as
she got to the part about Alex’s suicide.
“That's crazy.” Max said, shaking his head. Not Alex.
Never Alex.
Liz was pacing her hands gesturing wildly. “Yes, I know.
That’s what I said.”
“Alex would never do something like that.”
“No, of course not! It's ridiculous.” Liz stopped her
pacing for a moment. “And … you know what's gonna happen -- Hanson is gonna
go and he's going to put that in his report and it's going to be in the
newspaper for every single person to read. All of his friends, his family.”
Max got up from where he was sitting listening to Liz.
“No.”
“"Alex Whitman's death was declared a suicide
yesterday by the Roswell Sheriff's Department"!” Liz said dramatically
already seeing the headlines in her mind, the sheer horror of it … the lie!
“We won't let that happen.” Max reassured Liz. “I'll
… I'll talk to Valenti. He's just jumping to conclusions.”
“Just the fact that his parents have to go through this,
this nightmare. They do not need to think that their son …” Liz slide down
to the floor beside Max bed hiding her face, to upset to continue.
Max sat down next to her. “Liz, I'll handle it.”
“Thank you.” Liz stomach growled. Embarrassed she put
her hands over her stomach. “Oh.”
“Hungry?” Max asked gently his eyes moving over her
face, compassion strong on his face.
Liz nodded “That was embarrassing.”
“No, that's all right. When's the last time you ate?”
“Um …” Liz couldn’t think. What day was it? Was it
only a day ago? “Ah, yesterday, I think?”
Max stood up and offered her his hand. He led her into the
kitchen and made her sit while he searched for something quick and easy to feed
her.
“How does frozen macaroni and cheese sound?” Max asked
holding up frozen macaroni and cheese and Liz nodded. They sat in the kitchen
eating together reminiscing about Alex.
“Remember the time he electrified Mr. Hoffman's desk?”
Max asked smiling to himself, enjoying the memory.
“Yeah. You know, he almost got suspended for that.” Liz
told him as she finished a bite.
Max shook his head. “Never happen. The teachers loved
him. That guy could get away with anything At the Prom, I overheard Mr. Hoffman
telling Señora Villa the whole chair thing. Thought it was a riot.”
Liz put down her fork. “Yeah, about the Prom -- I saw you
kiss Tess.” Max glanced at her in shock, not realizing she had seen that. Liz
paused trying to find something to say, but couldn’t put in words what she
felt. “It's okay. You're moving on.”
“Liz.” Max’s heart was in his voice. It wasn’t want
he wanted, it never was. Circumstances kept warring against his desires, and he
was losing the battle.
“No. We've discussed this. You're moving on and I’m
moving on, and that's a decision we've made.” Liz told him needing to be
strong about this. She knew all along, since Future Max, that Max and Tess
getting together would be a possibility. She knew that, and no matter how hard
she tried to prepare herself she had still been floored by seeing them. “I
just wanted you to know that I saw you and that I'm okay with it, okay?”
Max didn’t know what else to say, so he nodded.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Liz pushed the empty plate away and stood.
“Thank you very much for the macaroni and cheese, and, um, thank you for
listening.” She walked to the door. She didn’t really belong there anymore.
Liz paused before walking out, she glanced back at Max. “Just always be my
friend. Will you do that, Max?”
“You know I will.” Liz smiled sadly and left. Good. She
was slowly running out of them.
~~~
Michael came into the living room and handed Amy another
hot cup of liquid, sitting on the edge of the sofa watching over her. The DeLuca
house was in mourning, and as crippled as Maria felt, Amy was suffering much the
same.
“Oh, no more tea. Thank you, Michael.” She had drunk a
sea of tea, and cried an ocean of tears.
“It's not tea. Hot buttered rum -- help you sleep.”
Michael told her, noticing her surprised look as she tasted the drink. “My
foster dad taught me to mix drinks before I could ride a bike. He called it job
training. If all else fails I could always tend bar.”
Amy glanced at the young man sad that so much of his youth
had been spent with a monster like Hank. “Oh, what a charming man.” Amy hid
her face in the mug, unwilling to talk about things that still hurt Michael.
Someday he would tell her, like he told her about being able to mix drinks. They
had time. “Ah, is Maria still asleep?”
“Finally,” Michael said rubbing the back of his neck
tiredly. “Yeah, she keeps kickin' off the covers though.”
“Oh, she always does that.” Amy glanced at the boy.
“Or at least she used to until you started sleeping with her.”
Michael squirmed a little. “Oh … about that, you know
that we don’t … that we aren’t …”
“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I let you stay?” Amy
looked at him. He really was a beautiful boy, both inside and out. “You know,
I think this is the most time you've ever spent in my house in one block.
Usually it’s a night here, a meal there. Never days.”
“Yeah, I … I could leave if you want.” Michael
offered. “Just, it's nice to be around people.”
“No, no. That's not what I meant at all.” Smiling at
his earnest face, so serious. “Ah, what I'm trying to say is that you've
really been great for my family. And it's a wonderful thing to see my daughter
loved. And I would like to see a lot more of that. And, as far as I'm concerned,
you'll always be welcome in this house.”
Michael was speechless. He assumed that Amy tolerated his
presence in Maria’s life, most of the time with apprehension. It was strange
to have her actually extend him an invitation. “Thank you.”
Amy sipped the rum. It was good. She glanced at him.
“Maria is complicated, much more than many would suspect.”
“I know that.”
“I know you do, but it goes deeper. She feels things
deeply … holds them inside, maybe longer than she should.” Amy didn’t know
how to explain. “I … her father, even when he was here …he wasn’t.
Girls, they tend to naturally bond to their fathers, but Maria didn’t have
that. Her father, he never tried. Never cared. She … carried that a long time.
He would give her presents, things to pay her off to leave him alone, to pay off
his neglect.”
Michael’s jaw clenched as he thought of the Dalmatian
puppy and a crying Maria.
“I nurtured her as much as I could, but I was young.
Having a child at seventeen, that wasn’t really a good decision any way you
look at it.” Amy felt the tears run down her face. “God, I loved her from
the moment I saw her. My precious child. A child raising a child, but I didn’t
care. No one was going to ever take her from me. She was mine. We grew up
together, and in so many ways because the treatment she received by her father,
she grew up faster and harder than I did.”
“She loves you.” Michael told the older woman.
“She loves you, too.” Amy licked her lips. “That’s
the point, Michael. Maria has an easy time making friends, but a hard time
making really close relations. Alex. Liz.
“She fakes it.”
Amy laughed. Trust Michael to understand that. “Yes, she
does. She loves Liz with all her heart, but Liz doesn’t really know her. Not
really. She’s just Liz’s wacky friend, Maria. The person Liz depends on to
listen to her, understand and be there when she needs support. It is perfect for
Maria, because that’s something she does well. Alex understood her more. He
really felt her. Maybe it was the music, the fact they communicated at a level
that was more sounds than spoken words. There was always this underlying
connection between them as children. He would take on Goliath for her. Until
you, he had been her hero, replacing Sean.”
Michael nodded remembering Alex slugging him in his
apartment for kissing Courtney, telling him he couldn’t treat Maria like that.
That she was special. Alex understood more than anyone realized.
Michael was quiet for a moment. “Is that why she is
terrified of falling in love?”
Amy stopped drinking the rum, and stared at him in
surprise. He saw more than she realized. “She can’t form attachments easily,
but when she does, they’re so strong. If broken, she’s devastated. When her
father left she was sick for over two years, nervous, depressed, and even
destructive. It got better, and then Sean came and she attached to him, and then
he left too. He’s still paying for that, but in his defense, he’s very much
like Maria and when his parents died …” Amy shrugged. “He lost his
parents, and later because he was spiraling out of control, self-destructive and
angry, he lost Maria too.”
“And now Alex.”
Amy couldn’t help it. She started to cry again. “He
really was such a wonderful young man. Whatever Alex did, he did with heart.”
Michael stayed with Amy as she cried, his mind more on Maria sleeping in the
next room. What would happen to her when he left?
~~~
Alex and Isabel were sitting at the Crashdown café facing
each other.
“You're not really here, are you?” Isabel asked,
already knowing the answer.
“No.” Alex shook his head, his eye gentle. “You're
talking in your sleep.”
“God, I wish I could really talk to you, Alex.”
“I'm the next best thing. What do you want to say?”
“That I'm sorry.” A tear ran down Isabel’s cheek.
“I'm so sorry.”
“Me too.”
“I never should have called you.” If he had stayed
home. If he … If.
“I called you, remember?”
Isabel rubbed the tear off her face. “I never should've
brought you into any of this.”
“Any of what?” Alex asked confused.
“Me. My life.”
“You think being with you had something to do with what
happened?” Alex asked curiously.
“Yes, I do. I don't know how, but …” Isabel didn’t
know how she knew, but she did. It felt wrong. Alex being gone felt … wrong.
“God, if you hadn't been involved with me …”
“Hey, if I was really here, I'd tell you you're full of
crap. You know that.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn't make me feel any better.”
“I better go.” Alex told her holding her hand for a
moment.
She tightened her hand on his. “Why?”
“I'm not making things any better for you.”
“No, please.” Isabel kept his hand. “Please don't
go.”
Alex gently extracted his hand from hers. “I'm already
gone.” He told her gently. “This is just a dream, a dream that you'll
eventually wake up from.”
“Will I see you again?” She asked as he stood up to
leave.
“That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't
want me to be here.” He leaned over and kissed her one last time.
“'Bye, Isabel.” Alex walked to the door.
“I love you, Alex.” She called to him, crying as she
watched him leave, telling him in her dreams what she never got to tell him in
life.
Alex smiled. “I think we both know, I loved you too.”
He walked through the door and in her dream, Isabel rolled over to ball up
crying.
~~~
The procession at Alex’s funeral was a long walk, longer
than distance, longer than heart. It was the final walk in a lifetime of
friendship, one cut too short. None of them had been prepared to say goodbye,
and there was nothing left to do, but to walk on. Max, Michael, Kyle and Jim
were among the pallbearers as the others followed watching the earth prepare to
swallow up a love one. Maria sang ‘Amazing Grace’ her voice breaking in
places as she tried to not cry, doing this one last thing for Alex.
Michael stood next to her, and when she went to put a rose
on Alex’s grave, he stood behind her holding her firmly about the waist. They
stood and listened to the final words, as all those who loved Alex watched him
be laid to rest. With his arms firmly around Maria’s shoulder, holding her
tight to his front, he was surprised when Amy’s hand found his other one.
Reaching around, he brought Amy up under his other arm and kept both Maria and
her mother close.
Afterwards, Max went to urgently talk with Valenti. Liz,
riding away in her father's car, turned to see them talking.
Jim knew what this was about. “If this is about what I
said to Liz the other night, I don't have any apologies to make.”
“How can you say that to us? How can you even think
…”
“This is difficult for everybody, Max.” Jim told the
young man.
Max lost his temper. “Alex Whitman did not kill himself,
okay? It didn't happen. And you'd better not let Hanson or anyone else put that
in some file.”
Valenti grabbed a sheaf of papers from inside his truck. He
held them out to Max. “Here.”
Max glanced at the pile of papers. “What's that?”
“It's everything we've discovered about Alex Whitman over
the last two days. Read it, Max.” Jim face was serious, and Max glanced at the
file. Valenti waited while Max read.
~~~
At the Whitman's house, everyone gathered after the funeral
for the wake.
Kyle was pouring drinks. “So, Frisco, huh?”
“Yeah,” Isabel took the drink.
“I think it's great.”
“Yeah.”
Tess and Michael were walking around the buffet table. Tess
was fixing a plate for herself and Michael was fixing one for Maria. “What
about the chicken?”
“Maria hates barbecue. There's gotta be something here
she'll eat.” Michael kept looking. Maria needed to eat. She literally hadn’t
touched food since Alex died.
“Is she okay?” Tess asked concerned by Maria’s pale
appearance, and the way she seemed to stare off into space.
“Not really.” Michael cleared his throat. He never seen a broken heart before, but the wave of pain and despair he got off Maria was something he never expe