Behind the
Music…….
Maria put the dishes down. “So he’s not taking it well,
huh?”
“Alien Defcon 5,” Liz answered. Max was freaked beyond
control. His father had his entire life mapped out on a special storyboard, a
board that had everything. Liz. Tess. The Jeep.
“First, I think you mean Defcon 2 or 1 … maybe 2 since
1 is full-scale world annihilation. The numbers work backwards, the smaller the
number the more severe the situation. So Defcon 5 would be … um, peace?”
“Fine, Defcon 2 then! Maria, you’re spending way too
much time with Michael.”
Maria squeezed Liz’s arm. “It'll be ok, I hope.”
“Let Max talk to Michael.” Someone had to talk sense
into Max.
Maria glanced over at her partner in crime. Sense?
“Right,” she sighed. This was so not going to work.
Michael peered through the order window. “So, when does
Billy get here?”
Maria glanced at the clock. “I don't know. I thought he'd
be here by now.”
“Billy who?” Liz asked.
“Billy Darden.”
“First-kiss Billy?” Liz actually smiled. “He's coming
here?”
“Yes.” Maria picked up an order. Placing it in front of
Kyle, she leaned a hip against the counter. “He's on his way to
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Your ex-boyfriend's coming
to visit? That's not legal.” Kyle said quickly glancing at Michael.
“He's not my ex-boyfriend. We kissed once four years ago.
I was thirteen, and I’m single, so no harm, no foul.”
Kyle shook his head. “You know about this?” he asked
Michael.
Michael shrugged. “Yeah, we're all going to dinner.” He
was okay with it; he had to be. Technically, he and Maria weren’t a couple,
and he was just slowly getting her to think about dating him. He wasn’t going
to mess it up by coming down all heavy and jealous.
Liz took her order, watching Michael finish it up. “No.
No mayo on that one.” She turned to talk to Maria. “Um, so, where's he gonna
stay?”
“At my house.”
Kyle lifted a brow at that. “Your mom's ok with this?”
“My mom's out of town.” Maria reminded Kyle, who should
remember that fact, since her mom and his dad were no longer seeing each other.
Thank god.
“What?” Kyle looked at Michael in disbelief. Michael
saw the look.
“It's fine.” Michael shoved the plate at Liz.
“There's your no-mayo.”
“Michael, Michael, Michael,” Kyle moaned, needing to
shake some sense into Michael. “Let me explain something to you. Here on the
planet earth we have this thing called jealousy.”
“Kyle, relax. I have nothing to be jealous about.”
Maria made a face at him. “We keep telling all of you … Maria and I are
friends. Friends, and they were 13-year-old geeks at band camp.”
“Ok, first of all, it was a, uh, songwriter's
workshop,” Maria informed him. “And, uh ... Billy wasn't a geek. He was just
a little skinny. He had a little acne on the face, but …”
“… and braces,” Michael added.
“We all had braces.” Maria informed them, but then
seeing Michael’s look she gave up. “All right, fine. He was a little bit of
a geek.”
“And you kissed him?” Kyle smirked.
“Would you shut up?” she asked Kyle, glaring at Michael
who had started this conversation.
“Shut up.” Michael told Kyle before he got him in
trouble.
Maria gave him a thankful smile as she went to tend to a
new customer. “Hello. Table or booth?”
“It's me.” The young man was attractive. Maria looked
him over.
“Billy?”
“Yeah.”
Maria couldn’t believe it. He was … not awful.
“No.”
“Yeah.”
“Come here.” Maria hugged the guy laughing as he
literally picked her off her feet. “Oh, my god.”
“Ohh.” Billy put her down, looking her over. “God,
look at you.”
A dozen eggs sitting next to Michael on the counter,
suddenly exploded. Maria glanced at him sharply, a frown pulling at her face.
She quickly led Billy away before he could get curious. “Oh. Um, let's go this
way.” She glanced back again.
“All right,” Billy let Maria led him to the outside
tables in front of the Crashdown.
Kyle watched them go, smirking at Michael. “I guess the
braces worked.”
Michael growled at Kyle as he mopped up the egg mess. He
was okay with this. He was.
~~~
“God, last time I saw you, you were like thirteen going
on thirty.” Billy’s eyes kept moving over Maria.
“And you were like ninety-eight pounds going on this.”
Maria checked him out as well. She would’ve never guessed that he could turn
out so well. “You look great.”
“Now don't take this the wrong way, but have you looked
in a mirror?” Billy couldn’t take his eyes off her. “I mean, you went from
the girl no one wanted to dance with to the prom queen.”
“Now, how am I supposed to take that the wrong way?”
Maria rolled her eyes. Her gawky youth was best left forgotten. “And shut
up.”
“I'm serious, really. You look great, Maria.”
“Thanks. Ahem. So …” Maria was suddenly uncomfortable
at his regard. “Uh, how long are you staying?”
“Uh, just a couple days. Uh, is it cool with your mom, me
staying over?”
“Sure. Yeah. And anyway, she's, uh,” Maria cleared her
throat, so maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea, “she's actually gonna be out
of town for a couple of days.” A week. Months. Forever. Maria didn’t want to
go into detail.
“Oh.” Billy smiled sitting back. “Well, uh, I can’t
wait to hear what you've been working on.”
“Working on?”
“Your music.”
“Oh.” Maria was suddenly uncomfortable.
Billy didn’t seem to notice. “God, I can still remember
some of the lyrics you wrote back at band camp.”
“God.” Maria hid her face. “Yeah, most of it was
crap, anyway.”
“Oh, come on.” Billy smiled even more charmed by
Maria’s reaction.
Maria looked around leaning in conspiratorially, “Look,
if anyone asks, it was a songwriters workshop.”
“Oh.”
Michael was watching Maria and her friend from behind the
order window. He barely glanced over when Max came in the door after entering
the Crashdown by the back.
Max whispered loudly. “Michael!”
Michael glanced at Maria again. “What are you doing in
here?”
“When do you get off work?”
“Ten minutes. But I've got plans with Maria and Billy Bob
Thornton out there.” Michael made a face at the other man talking to Maria.
“Something came up. Cancel them.”
Michael watched Maria laughing with Billy. “Forget it.
Whatever it is can wait. I’m busy.”
“My dad knows,” said Max.
Michael frowned as Max quickly outlined his father’s
investigation. Michael had heard this in
Maria and Billy were still talking in front of the
restaurant as Michael slowly made his way towards them.
“That is so funny.” Billy said to something Maria told
him.
“Hi.” Michael said interrupting them.
Billy glanced up at the larger man. “Hey.”
“Michael,” Michael said, introducing himself. “I'm
the other friend.”
“Hey. Billy.” The other guy introduced himself. “Nice
to meet you.”
Maria smiled at Michael. “Ready to go?”
“Gotta cancel.”
“Wait a minute.” Maria quickly looked into Michael’s
eyes. “We were gonna cook.”
“Something came up.” Michael said cryptically, but
Maria caught the tone.
“What?” She glanced at Billy frowning.
“It's work-related.”
“Oh.” Maria caught the look. Alien stuff. “Of
course.”
“Steve's wife, Cheryl,” Michael quickly explained to
Billy, “she got the flu on my other job, so I gotta cover for her …”
“Oh. Him.”
“Yeah.” Michael met Maria’s eyes. “Sorry, Billy.”
His tone was anything but sorry.
“Oh, no. You gotta do what you gotta do, you know?”
“I'll make it up to you. I promise.” Michael said to
Maria, kissing her quickly on the mouth, but something made him pause, holding
the kiss longer than usual. Michael looked pointedly at Billy. “Nice meeting
you.”
“Yeah.” Billy got the message. Michael had just put up
a huge ‘Keep Off’ sign around Maria. “He seems nice.”
“Oh, yeah.” Maria said distractedly. “He's a
peach.” She smiled quickly. “Hey, I need to get my things. Can you wait for
me here for a moment?”
“Sure.” Billy frowned as Maria quickly went into the
Crashdown.
“Hey!” Maria caught up with Michael before he could
leave with Max. “What’s going on?”
“Excuse us for a moment?” Michael asked Max.
“Sure,” Max glanced between the two. “Make it
snappy.”
“Always a prince,” Maria said sarcastically. “Spill,
buddy, and make it quick since we’ve both got people waiting.”
Michael quickly told Maria what Max wanted to do. Maria
nodded listening.
“Liz told me about his new alien DefCon 2 strategy. Think
you can talk some sense into him? Maybe calm him down?”
Michael and Maria both looked over at the jittery Max.
“Not a chance in hell. Look,” Michael took her arm, “I’m really sorry
about dinner.”
“No problem. Just come by when you can, okay?”
“You okay alone with him?”
“Who? Billy? Sure he’s fine.”
“Maria, four years is a long time. He might not be nice
old Billy anymore. Just be careful, and I’ll be there.”
Maria nodded. “If you aren’t there for dinner, I’ll
leave a window open for you.”
Michael kissed her cheek, quickly taking off before he
changed his mind.
~~~
Maria and Billy were in the DeLuca kitchen cooking dinner.
“I can’t believe you're doing it.” Maria said tasting
the sauce. “Moving to
“Yeah,
“Playing seedy bars and coffee shops,” Maria mused,
smiling at their youthful plans.
“Well, that was the plan.”
“Yeah, but there are plans and then there are plans.”
Maria continued cryptically.
“Well, I guess this was the plan.” Billy was confused
by Maria’s lack of enthusiasm, something she had in abundance when they were
younger.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Maria added some more garlic to the
pot. “So, what are you gonna do for money?”
“As long as I make enough to get by, I'm fine, you
know?”
Maria laughed smiling at him. “Oh, god, that is so
romantic, I could just scream.”
“Come on.” Billy leaned up against the counter next to
her. “It was your idea.”
“I know, but I mean, I was thirteen and talkin' about
going to the big city. Even then I knew it was just talk. Michael and I’ve
been talking about it, but until it’s a done deal, I really can’t say where
I’ll end up.” Maria held out some sauce on a spoon. “Here, taste.”
“That's pretty good.” Billy said tasting the sauce.
“That's not how I remember it. I mean, even back then you were pretty dead
serious about your music. I mean, you're the one that gave me the bug. If I
hadn't met you, I'd still be playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’ in my mom's
garage.”
Maria shrugged, not wanting to care too much about this.
“Well, I guess for me music was just more of like a passing thing.”
Billy went to the refrigerator taking out some cream,
pouring a some into the sauce. “Well, I find that very hard to believe.”
“What are you doing?” Maria asked frowning at the cream
he added to the sauce.
“The sauce is just a little thin, so I'm gonna show you a
little family secret.”
Maria stared into the pot, her mouth open. “In my sauce?
You're putting creamer …”
“Shh.” Billy offered her a taste of the sauce now.
“Come on. Try it.” He shoved the spoon at her, tempting her. “Try it. Try
it.”
“Ok.” Maria took a taste. “Mm-hmm.” It was good.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Not bad.” Maria tried another taste. “Wait until I
tell Michael. We spent forever perfecting this sauce.”
“Michael?” Billy frowned at the other man’s name
being mentioned yet again.
“Uh-huh. He’s turning into a pretty good cook … well,
except for cookies. He eats the dough before he can cook it.”
“Michael.” Billy resolved himself to a night of
‘Michael did this’ and ‘Michael did that.’
Billy and Maria finished eating, and Billy produced
something Maria prayed no longer existed. Pictures. They were like a stroll down
a long nightmare.
“No! Oh, my god! No!”
“There she is.” Billy said cruelly, amused by her
reaction. “Right there.”
Maria stole the picture, hating the image of herself.
“Look at my hair and my eyes. Ugh!”
“Come on. It was your late 90s retro Annie Lennox phase.
You know, you were experimenting.” Billy bumped into her playfully. “I think
it was cute.”
“Right,” Maria shoved the pictures at him. “Burn
those now.”
“Oh, no--oh, no.” He snatched them back, away from her
questing hands. “These are goin' to the Big Apple where they'll be prominently
displayed in my guitar case where people will be throwing money.”
“Look at that!” Maria stared at another picture, the
horror was endless. “Look at-- this hair spray alone could choke a horse.”
“Ok. Well, look past the somewhat flammable hair and see
what I see.”
“Which is what? Bad eyeliner?” Maria asked, squinting
at the picture, horrified that her eyeliner actually looked like Liz’s recent
trip into Goth. At least she had the excuse of being thirteen, but Liz …
“Nah. Dreams.” Billy took back his picture. “Look.
This girl … she has beautiful dreams. And she makes beautiful music.” Billy
was suddenly serious. “So, what happened to her?”
“Nothing.” Maria shrugged. “She just grew up.”
Maria hated that young girl in the picture. She had more than dreams … she
didn’t have nightmares and fears that weighed down her life. She had a future.
“Right. Right.”
~~~
Max and Michael were digging a hole in the desert. Michael
was irritated at Max, and the canceling of his evening. “Is this deep
enough?”
“Almost.”
Michael wiped a tired arm across his forehead. “Max,
we've been up all night collecting every conceivable alien artifact that ever
crashed in this god-forsaken planet, including all of Tess's stuff. I'm
tired.”
“All right. That's deep enough. We still need your
healing stone.”
“I think it's at Maria's.”
Max couldn’t believe it. “You think it's at Maria's?”
“Yeah.” Michael didn’t see the big deal. It wasn’t
like they needed them anymore. “I don't know. Most likely.”
“I bet if it was one of your Metallica CDs you'd know
where it was.” Max said sarcastically, knowing how possessive Michael got over
things he considered his. Living in his apartment for the past few months was an
eye opener.
“Hey! You wanna bring that up again? The reason I got
pissed is you put And Justice For All before Master of Puppets.”
“Yeah. Alphabetical order.”
Michael’s body stiffened in outrage. “They go in order
of the release date.”
“And you don't know where your healing stone is?” Once
upon a time, the healing stones and alien artifacts meant everything to Michael.
Since he decided to stay on Earth, Michael found other things much more
important.
“You still wanna sleep on my couch?”
Max’s cell phone rang, saving him from another
confrontation with Michael. “Hello?”
Isabel’s voice was worried and frantic. “Jesse is
asking all kinds of questions about you, Max. You're right. Dad is out of
control. We have to do something.”
Max looked at Michael who was listening. “Isabel, calm
down. Just tell me what happened.”
“What's going on?” Michael asked. He didn’t want to
be exposed. He had a life … sort of, but it was the first real time he had
one.
Max held the phone away from him. “My dad's recruited
Jesse into this crusade of his.”
“Ok, Max, you need to talk to your father. Keep your
friends close …” Michael said pointing at Max, “and your enemies
closer.”
Isabel heard Michael. “Our father is not the enemy,
Max.”
“Talk to him. Make nice. Get close. Find out what he
knows.” Michael handed Max his shovel. Looking at his watch, he winced. It was
late, real late. “I’ve got places to be. Let’s go.”
Max finished talking to Isabel as they packed up the
shovels into the Cheville.
They missed a man behind a rock taking picture of them
burying the alien artifacts.
~~~
Michael entered Maria’s room through the window. He
could’ve gone through the door, but he didn’t want to use his powers in case
Billy saw him. The house was dark, and more than likely everyone was asleep. Max
had kept him out real late.
Taking off his shoes and stripping down to his usual sleep
attire of boxers and a t-shirt, he gently moved Maria over and got into bed,
sighing in relief as he sank into the bed.
“Michael,” Maria said softly. She moved into his body,
making a noise from the feel of his cool skin. “You’re late.”
“Max is freaking, and now Isabel has joined the alien hit
parade. Mr. Evans is out of control, and he has Jesse asking questions.”
“And you? How are you holding up?”
“I told Max to go talk to his father … to get
information.”
Maria sat up a little in the bed looking down at her tired
friend. “Okay, you sent Max? Damn, it’s official, Michael. The infection has
reached your brain. We’ll have to put you down.”
Michael reached up and pulled her down on top of him. “Go
back to sleep. I’m too tired for your list of possible antibiotic regimens to
cure me of early dementia.”
Maria giggled softly against him, burrowing into his skin
that was finally warming.
“Can I confess something to you?” Michael asked softly.
“If I say no, will that stop you?”
“Not likely.” Michael kissed the top of her head. He
slept with her practically every night … since Alex died and when he wasn’t
working. “I was afraid to come over in case I found you sleeping with
Billy.”
“Seriously?”
Michael nodded.
“You are suffering some type of alien sickness. You
should know by now that you’re my only sleeping friend. I think I slept with
Alex when I was younger, and of course, I shared a bed with Liz at times. Not
recently, not since …” Maria paused. Not since Alex died. Michael knew that.
He tightened his hold on her as they both slowly succumbing to sleep.
Maria was already gone when Michael woke. He had been so
tired. Scratching his stomach, Michael went to the bathroom to tap his bladder
and splash water on his face. Heading into the kitchen, he hoped Maria left
coffee.
Nope. Worse.
She left Billy.
Billy seemed genuinely shocked at seeing Michael,
especially in his attire. “You haven't left yet?”
“Oh, no, man. Late night.” Billy looked at the larger
man. “Sorry. I'm leaving later today.”
Michael shrugged filling a cup mug with the black brew.
Maria had to have left a while ago, it looked really black. “How was
dinner?”
“It was good, man. It was good.” Billy watched as
Michael got out the creamer adding it to his coffee, and started making himself
breakfast, obviously knowing where everything was. “How's Steve's wife?”
“Who?” Michael asked.
“Steve's wife, with the flu. You covered for him.”
Billy frowned at Michael. “Remember?”
Michael made a face at forgetting his lame excuse. “Yeah.
She's great. She's fine. Is Maria around?” Anything to distract Billy Bob.
“No, man. You just missed her. Just missed her. Can I
leave her a note or a message or something?”
“No. I’ll run into her soon enough.” Michael looked
at the wall clock. “I’ve gotta get dressed for my shift at the Crashdown.”
Remembering the healing stone, he smiled at Billy without warmth. “I'm needing
to find something I left here. I wonder where Maria put it.” He had no problem
with letting Billy think his relationship was something else with Maria.
“Can I help you look?”
“No. That's ok.” Michael took his coffee back to
Maria’s room.
Billy followed. “What are you looking for?”
“Something I need.” Michael wasn’t above being petty.
“Hey, can you pull me out a fresh shirt from that top drawer? There should be
a Metallica tour tee in there.”
Billy opened the drawer finding Michael’s shirt that
Maria had confiscated to sleep in. Michael quickly pocketed the healing stone.
Billy tossed the shirt at Michael.
“You have a lot of clothes here?”
Michael shrugged. “Not as many as Maria has at my place.
I have my own apartment, have had for almost two years.”
“Two years?”
“Yeah I was emancipated at sixteen. Normally Maria stays
with me when her mom’s out of town, and we would’ve invited you to sack at
my place … except our friend Max has been sacking on the sofa. So there was no
room.”
“Where does Maria sleep?”
Michael gave Billy a penetrating look. “In my bed.” The
‘of course’ was understood. Michael walked out of the room smirking slightly
as Billy followed him.
“Hey, when did Maria stop writing music?” Billy asked.
Michael shrugged. She hadn’t done much since Alex died.
“She messes around with it once in a while.”
“Well, how often does she mess around with it?”
Michael stopped, looking back at Billy. “Is this goin'
somewhere?”
“No.” Billy scratched his brow. “I mean, maybe. I
mean, I don't know. I'm just … I'm just wondering if she's given up on writing
and singing altogether.”
“I really wouldn't know.” Michael stared at the other
man, unhappy with the questioning, the implication that he was neglecting Maria
in some way.
“Well, listen, man, she's really good. I mean, she's
really good.” Michael appeared to be looking around the living room not
wanting Billy Bob to know he already found what he was looking for.
“Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.” Giving up his search,
Michael was more than ready to get out of there. “I guess what I'm looking for
isn't here.”
“Well, I'd tell her you stopped by, but I got a bus to
catch.”
“Yeah, well good luck in
~~~
Maria put an order up in the window and stretched over,
watching Michael mix a sauce.
“Hmm, you know what? That sauce looks a little thin. You
should put half and half in there.”
Michael glanced at her, stating an obvious. “It's not
coffee.”
“It works. Billy showed me. It gives it heft.”
Billy? Michael made a face. “I don't put dairy products
in my meat sauce. It's not kosher.”
Maria shrugged looking at her order that was up. “Ok. I
said no cheese in the nebulae salad.” She started picking it out.
“Forgot. Listen, I was thinking about skipping out on
bowling tonight, and maybe we could make up for last night.”
“That is so sweet,” Maria smiled at him, “but I kind
of have plans. I just assumed you would be destroying poor little defenseless
pins. Just …”
Michael paused in his cooking. “Plans with who?”
“It's nothing … Big.” Maria said. “Just me and
Billy were gonna go and …”
“Billy?” Michael eyes narrowed. “Isn't he on the
bus?”
“He missed it. He's staying another night.”
“Another night?!” The salad bowl that Maria was
extracting cheese from exploded in front of her, barely missed hitting her.
“What did you do that for?” Maria asked Michael,
stepping back her hand going to her face. “You could've hurt me.”
Swearing, Michael left the kitchen, going to Maria.
Checking her for injuries, he held her head in his hand. “Sorry. I'm not sure
what happened.”
Maria looked at Michael, worrying entering her eyes as she
searched his face. He looked pale. “What is going on?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Maria’s
hands tightened on Michael at his tone.
Taking his hand, she led him into the back room.
“You’re not sick are you?”
“I don’t know... my powers … they’re shorting out
or something. Or surging. I don’t know what’s going on.”
Her hands moved over him in comfort, a flurry of activity
heightened by worry. “We’ll figure it out.”
~~~
Worried about Michael, Maria was suddenly wishing that
Billy had already left. She needed to go spend more time with Michael, but they
couldn’t afford to have Billy see Michael lose control of his powers.
“Billy, I hope you're ok with hamburgers 'cause that's
what you're getting.” Maria called out as she entered the house with
groceries.
Billy didn’t look up from his task. “Hamburgers are
fine.”
Stopping in the door, in shock, Maria’s eyes couldn’t
stop looking at Alex’s guitar, the guitar that his parents had given her after
he died. “Why is that out?”
“Michael was searching for something earlier today. This
ended up on the bed, so I am tuning it for you.”
“Why?” Maria asked huskily, tears thick in her throat.
“It's out of tune, darlin'.”
Maria rushed into the room tossing the bag of groceries on
the sofa. “Put it back.”
“In just a second.” Billy missed how upset Maria was,
he was still tuning the guitar.
“You know what? Forget it.” Yanking the guitar from his
hands, she hurried towards her room. “I'll put it back.”
“Hey, what's wrong?”
“I invite you into my house and you go through my
stuff?” Maria was on the verge of tears.
“Where's all this coming from?” Billy asked confused.
“It's a guitar, baby.”
“No, it's not.” Maria slammed her bedroom door in his
face, sitting on her bed with the guitar, crying. Wiping her face, she picked up
her cell phone.
~~~
Michael and Liz were closing the Crashdown alone since
Maria was off with Billy. Michael was too distracted to go bowling so he worked
an extra shift. He and Liz rarely talked unless others were there, but Michael
made an effort.
“Pretty busy night, huh?”
“Mm-hmm.” Liz said distractedly.
“How much money do you think we'd pull in on a night like
tonight?”
Liz finally looked up. “You know that you really suck at
small talk? Why don't you just tell Dr. Parker what's on your mind?”
Michael shrugged. Nothing. He was fine … just fine.
“Hey, tell me … do I need to be worried about this Billy guy?”
“No, you don't. He's completely harmless.” Liz looked
at Michael, interest sparking in her eyes. Both Michael and Maria swore they
were just friends, but by all outer appearances, there was a hell of a lot going
on that neither seemed willing to admit to.
“But you think he's good looking right?”
Liz shrugged, not wanting to go into the attraction of the
renegade musician. “Uh, well, yeah, if you like that sort of thing, I
guess.” Damn, poor Michael, he was competing with a musical poet.
“The good-looking sort of thing.” Michael asked needing
confirmation. Dammit, Brody last year was bad enough, then Larek … but now
this? A millionaire. An Alien King. A bard. Hell, couldn’t she pull in
something boring like say a lawyer or tax auditor?
“Michael …” Liz cleared her throat.
“Do you really think he missed his bus?” The suspicion
in Michael’s eyes was hard to miss. Liz quickly intervened before it went out
of control.
“Yes, I do. Haven't you ever missed a bus before?”
“No,” Michael said with a lot of emotion, “'cause I
don't take the bus, and I don't write songs. And I don't cook with freaking half
and half.” The sugar dispensers that Liz had been refilling exploded next to
him. Liz literally jumped in fright.
“Hey! Hey, Michael!”
“Sorry.” Michael stared at the mess he made with a
certain amount of confusion and chagrin. “My powers are out of control.”
“Would you look at this mess!” Liz was beyond knowing
how to clean it up. “My dad is gonna freak.”
“Relax. I'll fix it.” Michael reached out a hand and
tried to repair the damage, restoring the sugar jars back to their pristine
condition. It didn’t work. His powers wouldn’t respond to even the slightest
push.
“Please. Michael, you need to calm down, ok? Everything's
gonna be fine between you and Maria, trust me.”
“She cooked him Italian food last night.”
“Oh.” Liz face held a bit of shock and wonder.
“I knew it. That's a problem.” Michael sat back
dejected. He knew it. She was … she didn’t need him anymore.
“No, no, it's not a problem. It's just, um … It's
food.”
“No, Liz.” Michael said tragically. “It's Italian
food. They changed our recipe.”
Michael couldn’t take much more. He couldn’t even get a
handle on his emotions, all he knew was he felt … unsettled inside.
“Michael, please don't do anything stupid or alien or both, please?!”
Liz cell phone rang. She quickly answered frowning at
Maria’s voice.
“It’s Maria. She wants to talk to …” Michael
snatched the phone away from Liz. “… to you.” Liz finished to herself.
Michael talked in a low tone, and Liz’s brow lifted when
suddenly Michael’s voice went soft and even, as he talked to Maria slowly,
with great care. Disconnecting he gave Liz back her phone.
“I’ve got to go. Maria needs me.”
Liz didn’t even get a chance to respond before Michael
was out the door. Shaking her head, she never imagined she would ever see a
jealous alien before, or specifically that it would be Michael. Holding that
thought, she sat back wondering why when she was hanging with Maria’s cousin
Sean, Max never exploded anything. He seemed to care, and despite him being with
Tess, shouldn’t he have shown some display of out of control jealousy? Liz
sighed, unwilling to think about it any longer. She had a mess to clean up.
~~~
Billy was playing his guitar when Michael entered the
house. Going through the living room he paused to look at the intruder.
“Where’s Maria?”
Billy seemed shocked to see Michael. “She’s in her
room, but …”
“What did you do? She called me upset and crying.”
Michael’s height and size were suddenly threatening. Billy held up his hands.
“Hey! Nothing, okay? I was tuning her guitar, and she
totally wigged out of me.”
“Guitar? What guitar?”
“The one you left on her bed.”
The confusion cleared from Michael’s face. Swearing, he
went down the hall entering Maria’s room without knocking. Shutting the door
firmly behind him. Billy stared at the closed door.
Michael stood with his back to the door. She sat on the
bed, still crying over the guitar. Making a soft sound in his throat, Michael
went over and took the guitar from her. Putting it away, where he had taken it
earlier in the day before placing it on her bed, he sat down on the bed next to
her.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I was looking for
the healing stone, and I put it on the bed.”
Maria nodded.
“Tough day?” He asked.
“Tough life.” Her voice was thick with tears. “I
think I’m getting over it, and then …”
Michael held open his arms and Maria moved into them. Her
arms went around his neck, holding him tight. Michael scooted her along the bed,
so he could sit against the headboard with her in his arms. Closing his eyes, he
let himself feel things he shouldn’t feel, and for a moment, want things he
couldn’t have. Things he didn’t know how to get.
“Am I becoming too dependent on you? Too clingy since
Alex?”
Michael whispered ‘no’ against her temple. He liked her
clinginess. A lot. “My turn. When we first met, it was always you doing for
me, supporting me. I think this makes me feel better, like we’re equals.”
“We are.” Maria searched his face, and suddenly they
both looked away. Maria cleared her throat. “I totally lost it on Billy. I
don’t know. I was … hearing someone else play Alex’s guitar … I wasn’t
ready for that I guess.”
“It’s okay. Put it away again, until you’re ready.
It’ll be there, Maria. I’ll be there.”
“I know.” Maria wiped a hand across her face. She
really needed to face some home truths about herself, but only one thing at a
time. It was all she could handle right now. “Are your powers still on the
fritz?”
Michael laughed. “Yeah. I just blew up sugar dispensers
at the Crashdown.”
Maria sat back away from him worry etched on her face.
“What’s going on?”
“Power surges. I think I lost hold of the powers and then
‘poof’. I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’m going through alien puberty?”
“What, so this is your version of acne?” Maria could
hear the music from the other room. Taking a deep breath, she smiled slightly.
“Guess I should go take care of that, huh?” Maria asked gesturing to Billy
and the music in the other room.
“Yeah, I guess. He was wondering what he did wrong.”
Maria started to get up from the bed, Michael helping her,
setting her firmly on her feet. She hugged him for a moment longer. Pushing
away, she left her hand on his chest.
“You should go home for a while. Check up on Max or
something.”
“Anywhere but here, huh?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how we would explain things if you
lost control in front of Billy. I’m better. Thanks for coming when I called. I
just needed someone who would understand.”
Michael put a hand on her face. Him. She called him, not
Liz. It was a hard thing, but Maria and Liz were still divided on Alex. It would
take time, a while before they found a way to talk about him without it getting
clouded with Max and Tess, especially Max.
“Okay. You want me to come over later?”
“Sure. You can come in the front door. That’s if you
and Max don’t find something interesting to do.”
“Like that is going to happen.” Michael made a face.
“I guess I should go check my mail, the groceries, and make sure Max hasn’t
alphabetized my life.”
“Are you going to do laundry?”
Michael’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“My red sweater is over there, dirty. If you wash, could
you …”
“Right. Sure.” Michael led Maria out of her room. “I
thought it was your turn.”
“Michael.” She gave him her patented sad look.
“Yeah, yeah. You look pathetic enough. I’ll do it, if
… and I do mean if I get to it tonight.”
Michael ignored Billy, taking her face in his hands, he
kissed her on the mouth holding the kiss longer than usual. “Call me if you
need me,” he whispered meeting her eyes. She nodded.
Maria waited until Michael left before turning to Billy. He
was still holding his guitar.
“Try going to an F major 7th, please. I can’t listen to
you anymore. Just trying going to an F major 7th.”
Billy recognized a peace offering when he saw it, and he
tried her suggestion. “Not bad.” He said in surprise.
“Oh, please. I totally fixed it for you.”
“Ok. Now let's see if you remember this one …” He
started playing another song glancing at her. “So what about earlier?”
“Yeah, I'm sorry that I went off on you.”
Shrugging, Billy continued to play. “Gonna tell me about
it?”
Taking a deep breath, Maria tried to smile, but couldn’t.
“That guitar belonged to a friend of mine. His name was Alex. He died last
year. Actually … .last spring.”
Stopping his playing, Billy suddenly understood a lot
especially Michael’s over protectiveness of her. “I am so sorry. I am so
sorry. I had no idea.”
“His parents wanted me to have this guitar, but I just
couldn't bring myself to play it.”
“Bad memories?” Billy asked.
Maria nodded, refusing to cry. “He was only seventeen. He
had his whole life.” Choking back the tears, she closed her eyes for a moment.
“His whole life.”
“Did you and Alex write songs together?”
“Not really.” Maria smiled at that. Her and Alex were
artistically opposite on music at times. “We tried once, but I just don't
partner well.” Maria smiled at him, needing to make amends. “I don't know,
you're, like, the only person that I've ever trusted in that way.”
“So if you guys were writing songs, then that means you
was singing up until …”
“Until his funeral.” Maria never saw Michael standing
in the kitchen. He had come back. He forgot to take out the garbage, and he
promised Amy to do it before trash day. Listening to them, he leaned against the
wall. He missed that. She sang at the funeral, and not since … not even at the
bachelor party though she used it as an excuse to go. “Yeah, that was the last
time.”
Billy patted the sofa next to him. “Well, then I guess
tonight's a special night.”
Maria smiled as he strummed a song she wrote long ago. It
was flattering that he should remember it.
“How did you remember that?”
Billy smiled. “Believe it or not, Maria, there is little
about you that I don’t remember.”
Michael straightened at that. Maria was singing. Listening,
the words actually meant something to him … something he didn’t want to
admit to or think about.
I wish I could read your mind
words don't mean a thing
I've given you all my time
all you do is leave
and if you were standing here in front of me
I know you would say
there's nothing oh, so precious
as something that's gone away,
and if there is a reason
I just don't want to know
why you feel the need to love me so
only when you go
only when you go
It could’ve been a song written for her father, Alex or
even him. All of them in some way had left her, and remembering her fear that
something would take away her mother, Michael watched from the kitchen for a
moment, before quietly letting himself out. Upset, Michael walked down the dark
streets of
“What happened?” Max asked sitting up when an angry
Michael entered the apartment.
“Something too terrible to talk about,” Michael
answered.
“What, my dad found something?” Max voice rose in
concern. “What?”
“No, it's not that.” Michael made a face. Of course it
would have to be about Max. “I saw Maria and what's his name, Billy,
together.”
“Oh, together as in …” Max’s face suddenly
lightened as a thought hit him, what Michael could be saying came clear. “Together?”
“Worse.” Michael threw himself tragically into a chair.
Max didn’t get that. Michael walking in on Maria and
Billy in bed … that was … “What could be worse?”
“They were singing together.” Michael said morosely.
“So you're jealous.”
“I'm not jealous!” A lamp over Max’s head exploded.
“My powers are slightly out of whack.” Michael explained.
"Out of whack?”
Max repeated in disbelief. This was not ‘out of whack’, it was a full
scale disaster.
“I've been blowing things up all day.”
“Get them under control.”
“I can’t.”
“Michael, get yourself together.” Max looked around the
room as items began to shake. “What if this happens in front of my father?”
“I don't care about your father or his stupid
investigation.” Another lamp exploded and a plate off a counter flew across
the room to hit the wall.
“All right, look, I'm sorry.” Max quickly tried to get
Michael calmed down. “We're part human. We're supposed to have feelings. You
keep them bottled up like this, they're gonna get out somehow.”
“I’m not bottled up.”
Max made a sound of disbelief over that. “The hell you
aren’t! Fuck, Michael. Did you even tell her why you stayed? Walking around,
in love with her, unable to tell her, but you go even further, you sleep with
her in your arms practically every night. Close, but so damn far away.”
“I told you, Maxwell … I do not want to talk about
it!”
“Just tell her, Michael! What if she feels the same? What
if she’s holding it all back, because she is afraid to wreck her friendship
with you?”
“I can’t. After tonight, I don’t know. I want to, and
at times, I think she knows, but …”
“What happened? Was it really this Billy? Is she falling
in love with him?”
“He’s giving her her music back. We … this whole damn
alien crap, you, Tess, and Alex, it took it from her, and now …”
“She’s singing again, because of this Billy person.”
Max guessed. “You need to tell her, Michael. You owe her at least that much,
to tell her why you stayed, and give her the chance to decide.”
Michael shook his head. He held it all inside for months
and months. There were risks he took in his life, big risks, but this was too
great. “What if I tell her, and even if we decided to try … I’m more
afraid I’d fuck it up. There is a big difference between being a good friend,
there and supportive, and being more. If we were more, she’d expect things
from me, want things, things I might not be able to give her, or not realize she
needs. What if we break up, and this friendship … it ruins it?”
“It means that much to you?” Max asked quietly. Once
Michael was his best friend, his and Isabel’s, but numerous times, Michael had
walked away from them with hardly a glance back. The last time had almost been
forever. It was hard to realize that Michael could walk away from them, but not
Maria.
“It means everything. I never knew how alone I was until
I wasn’t. I never knew how much I needed someone to look at me, believe in me,
trust me, and think I’ll do what’s right, even when I’m wrong.” Michael
sat back dejected. “I don’t know when it happened, but one day I woke up,
and what and who I wanted to be was the person Maria saw, the person she
believes in. It’s hard to take chances with that image, because it’s all I
want too. I can’t risk losing that. I can’t.”
“You can’t live your life in love with her, upset and
afraid she’ll fall in love with someone else.” Max shook his head.
“Repression is killing your control, and as fast as it kills it, it will
expose us … get us all dead.”
Michael glanced over at Max. “What should I do?”
“Talk to her.”
“That's it?” Michael snorted in disbelief. He talked to
her all the time. “Just talk to her?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, sure.” Michael sat back on the sofa, suddenly
spent. Talk to her. Tired of his own life and problems, he finally asked Max
about his father. “You talk to your Dad?”
“Tomorrow. We’re going fishing.”
“Hope that goes well,” Michael said. He couldn’t even
think. He should go back to Maria’s, but he couldn’t trust himself with
Billy there. “My life is sucking again. How did that happen?”
~~~
Michael found Maria working at the Crashdown. Coming up
behind her, he leaned in to talk into her ear.
“Hey.” He said softly.
"Hey back.” Maria smiled at him. “I missed you
last night.”
“Couldn’t take a risk on my powers working while I was
asleep.” Michael glanced at the dead Crashdown. There were only a few
customers. “Can I say something?”
“Back room.” Maria took his hand leading him to the
back break room. “Do we have a problem?”
“No, we don't. I do.”
He was serious. Maria’s eyes roamed over his face,
concerned. “How can I help?”
“Be patient with me.”
Her hand went up his arms rubbing in comfort. “Always.”
“Don't say it like that, like I'm a kid.”
“That's not what I meant. I don’t think of you as a
kid, Michael.” He was … Maria held his arms surprised as the small tremble
she felt. “What are you worried about, really? What can I do?”
“Tell your friend to leave.” Maria tipped her head, and
Michael quickly continued. “He shouldn't be here. It's not a good time.”
“Not a good time? Let me ask you a question, Michael.”
“Here we go …”
“No, don't do that. I am not making demands of you. I am
asking a real question here.”
“You ask "What can I do," and I told you.”
“When is it a good time?”
“To step out with an old boyfriend? Things are too
volatile, and I can’t control it. I don’t want to make a mistake.”
“He is not an old …” Maria threw up her hands in the
air at the look on his face. “Ooh, would you just …”
“Where's your patience now?”
“I’m showing immense patience! You have no idea!”
“We're in danger. Max's father …”
“I know.”
“Yeah, and you don't care because that Billy guy …”
Michael lost it. Things behind him exploded from the shelves.
“Michael …” Maria jumped in fright as the items hit
the floor. Putting a hand on her heart, her breath heaved. “God!” Pushing
him down on the break room sofa, she pointed a finger at him. “Stay!”
Leaving him quickly, she went to find the other waitress working.
Maria came back removing part of her uniform and grabbing
her street clothes. Ignoring that Michael was there, she quickly changed.
“C’mon.”
“Where are we going?”
“Your place. You can’t be out wandering around like
this.” Maria led him outside and shoved him into the Jetta.
“Are you going to tell Billy …”
“Yeah. I’ll tell him as soon as I get you home.”
“Thanks.”
Maria shrugged. “It’s what I do. I follow instructions,
remember.”
“It’s not like that, Maria.”
“Sure it is.” Maria glanced at him. “What bothers me
is that you felt the need to ask, that you worried that I would say no. Billy is
a friend, true, but then so are you. When have I ever put your safety below my
own concerns?”
“Never.” Michael breathed in harshly. She was right.
She always did what was asked and needed, and this one time she had something,
he ruined it for her.
“C’mon,” she said as she pulled in front of his
place. “Let’s get you settled, and then I’ll go take care of Billy.”
~~~
Maria entered her house. Billy was playing his guitar. He
glanced up when she came into the room.
“Hey.”
Maria put down her jacket and bag. “I have to tell you
something.”
Billy put his guitar aside. “What?”
“You have to go.”
Frowning, Billy saw the earnest look on her face. “Right
this second?”
“Yeah.” Maria smiled slightly, unhappy with kicking him
out, but unable to do otherwise.
“I'll get my stuff.” Billy stopped, looking at Maria.
“Is this about Michael? Am I in the middle of something?”
“No.” Maria rolled her eyes. Okay, so it was about
Michael, but not how Billy meant. “It's complicated. It's just my life. I
can’t have more than one thing going on. It's not you. It has nothing to do
with you.”
“That's too bad.” Billy told her, his eyes never
leaving her face.
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“Truth?” He asked, and Maria nodded. “Maria, I missed
my bus on purpose.”
Shaking her head, she couldn’t imagine him doing that on
purpose. “Why?”
“Because I was given some advice one time …” He
smiled ruefully. “Decide what you want in life and live it.”
Maria made a face. “That's terrible advice.”
“You gave it to me.”
Maria laughed softly. “That explains it.”
“Four years ago, our last night at camp.”
“I was thirteen,” she reminded him.
“That night stuck with me.” Billy moved closer to her
as Maria stepped back until she was against the wall. “You stuck with me. That
kiss stuck with me. It was my first one.”
“You told me that you kissed tons of girls.”
“I lied.” Billy looked at her mouth. “I don't know. I
was just … I was hoping that …”
“I'm confused, but I don’t think I can be anything to
you except a friend.”
“Yeah, I met Michael. Remember?”
“Look, you don't understand. Michael is just…” She
never got to say that Michael was just a friend. It was a tired old explanation,
but one she always gave.
“Stopping you?” Billy suggested.
“Stopping me from what?” Maria was confused now.
Michael, he never stopped her from anything. Billy had it wrong. Everyone did.
“From... I don't know, from life.” Billy moved closer.
“From this.” He kissed her, and Maria held back, unable to respond or
breathe, and then she kissed him back.
Pulling away suddenly, she shook her head, stepping away.
“I …” Putting up a hand in defeat, she walked out the
living room door into the kitchen. Uncertain where she was going, she found
herself seeking out Liz. Liz would know.
Billy caught up with her before she could go out the
kitchen door.
“Wait!”
“Billy, I can’t talk about this right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
Maria stopped in her tracks. “Hey! Listen, buster, you
kiss a girl, the first thing you say to her shouldn’t be, ‘I’m sorry!’
It will get you kicked in a very painful place.”
“Okay, then I’m sorry for that too.” Billy made a
shushing motion at Maria. “No. I’m not sorry for kissing you. I’m just
sorry for changing the relationship between us … taking it someplace you
weren’t ready for or didn’t want.”
“It’s not you.”
“Hey, hey, hey. You don't owe me an explanation.” Billy
rubbed the back of his neck, shaking his head in self mockery. “I screwed
things up. I was given the back off sign from Michael, and instead of heeding
it, I took it as a challenge.”
“What are you talking about?” Maria asked, confused.
Challenge? This was a challenge? What was she? A prize or consolation?
“Look, only an idiot wouldn’t recognize that there is
something pretty intense going on between you and Michael. I could see that
without him shoving it in my face. It was there all the time. The way you say
his name. The way you wait for him to get home so you can sleep. I guess I
fucked things up, because I thought he was forcing you to give up a part of you
… but maybe I read that wrong too. So I screwed it up.”
“No, you didn't.” Maria assured him.
“Yes, I did.” Billy couldn’t believe his luck. He had
waited all these years to see her again, and he waited too long. “I should
have known better. I changed the whole flow between us. But I’ve been wanting
to kiss you for about four years, and I'm a guy, so I took a shot.”
“It wasn’t a horrible kiss.” Maria told him, a dimple
deepening on her cheek. “I just think I may have given you the wrong
impression.”
“No, you didn't. We're fine.” Billy breathed in deep,
picking up his bag he had dropped at his feet to grab her. “And if I did
anything to make you feel bad, I'm sorry. I just wish you hadn't...”
“What?”
“I wish you hadn't hidden yourself away with that
guitar.” Maria entire body reacted to that. “I know you think you’re in
mourning, but there is a lot of power in sorrow. I can’t believe you haven’t
used music to help you reclaim some of your lost friend.”
“It still hurts a lot.”
“And you’re in love, and it takes everything you have
to feel that way.”
“Billy, you don’t understand the relationship between
me and Michael.”
Billy laughed shaking his head. “I’m a guy, Maria. I
understand perfectly. You weren’t kissing me. You were kissing him, and what I
don’t get is why you aren’t kissing him now? But, you know what?” Maria
shook her head. “It’s none of my business, because one thing is clear, you
don’t belong to me and never will. Your heart belongs to someone tall and
mysterious, with a pissy attitude.”
“Billy …”
“You gonna come see me in the Village?” he asked
shouldering his bag.
“Yes.” She smiled.
“I'll get you front row seats.”
Maria laughed. “And I’ll throw my underwear at you.”
Sighing, Billy kissed her goodbye on the cheek. “Make it
black underwear, and you’ve got a deal. Bye, Maria.”
“Bye,” she said more to herself as he walked through
the door.
~~~
Maria was lying on Liz’s bed while Liz sat there looking
down at her, in her professional psychoanalyst mode.
“And then you kissed him?”
“Yes, I did.” Maria said, then making a face. “Well,
technically, he kissed me, but I didn’t stop him, and I did kiss him back for
a moment or two.”
“Where is he right now?”
“Gone.”
“Ha! What were you thinking?”
Maria made a face. “You know me and my rules on boys and
dating. I don't know.”
“And that's all that it was?” Liz asked, skeptical. If
it was only a kiss, then why was Maria so bent? “It was just a kiss.”
“Maybe.” Sighing heavily, Maria had a flight of
honesty. “You know? Maybe not.”
“Let's just talk about the kiss for one second. Was there
any passion?”
“Tons.”
“Oh …”
“I know.” Maria laid back unhappy and confused. “It
was all there, Liz. That hold your breath … this could be it. The One.”
“The One?” Liz bit her lip. Oh, this wasn’t good.
Poor Michael. Not Madam Vivian’s ‘the One?’
“The One. And then, there I was, kissing Billy, and all I
could think was he was the wrong man. I had all this passion in my bones, and it
wasn’t for him.”
“Wrong man? Whoa, okay back up … start again. There was
passion...”
“But it's not that
kind of passion.” Maria didn’t even know if she understood it herself.
“You know I avoid any type of romantic entanglement. You know that. I guess I
liked Michael, because he was leaving, and he was safe.” Maria covered her
face groaning. “I’m a fool! No man is safe, and I forgot that. He made me
forget that, and …”
“How exactly did we get to talking about Michael? The
last I checked we were talking about kissing Billy … Billy, who is now
gone.”
“Gone, but not forgotten. I mean, he sort of was a
catalyst, you know?” Maria turned on her side to look at Liz. “I wanted it
to be Michael.”
Liz lifted a brow at that. Finally! It was about frickin’
time one of the two most thickheaded people in the entire universe figured it
out. About time Maria said it aloud.
Maria groaned. “I wanted it to be him kissing me that
way, and not Billy. It was like this ‘rite of passage’ from childhood to
adulthood or something. Billy was the childish dream, and Michael is the real
deal.” Maria shook her head. “That kiss. It's like it woke me up.”
“Like sleeping beauty.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Maria sat up. “Michael. I didn’t
… I mean you know I love him, right?
“I know. I think everyone knows. About time you thought
of the possibility.”
“Do you think I've been asleep this whole time?” Maria
sat on the side of the bed, to finally get up and pace. “I hid it so deep
inside. Fear. Pain numbing fear of rejection, loss, and being left again, and he
was everything that could do that. He was leaving. He would be gone forever, and
he would walk away without a look back. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t, and
the more he became a friend the more I couldn’t risk losing that
friendship.”
“Well ... I think you've been trying to remember who you
used to be for a long time.” Liz saw Maria’s face, the expression that moved
over it. “Say it.”
“I just … sometimes I just feel like I've paid this
huge price for knowing Michael and knowing these aliens. It's like … God, I
didn't think I'd end up here dealing with this crap every day. I didn’t want
to give so much of myself up to it, because I was afraid of losing my own
identity completely. Now … now I just realized today, in one small kiss, with
another man, for god’s sake, is that there is no safe.
I was never safe! I’ve been a fool living in denial all this time, sleeping.
It was there, all this time. I knew I loved him, but until the moment Billy
kissed me, and I felt this heartbreaking need for it to be Michael … I
hadn’t realized I was ‘in love’ with him.”
“I know.” Liz said softly.
“I mean, I … I didn't sign up for this.” Maria
flopped her hands dramatically. “I never wanted this!”
“Yes, you did. We all did.” Liz laughed in
self-deprecation. “We both were waiting for love … for something special all
our lives, and we got it in spades. And it’s come with a cost. A huge cost.”
“I know. It's just, I had this dream once … I mean
maybe I still do. I don't know.” Maria sat down, a tear moving down her face.
“I remember him leaving that night. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I
knew then that the greatest event of my life just passed me by. I knew, but I
let him go. If he hadn’t walked out of that cavern … if he had left …”
Maria went silent. She couldn’t think it or say it. “My heart broke in that
moment, and when I got him back, I didn’t care anymore. I would never do
anything to risk him, to risk this friendship. Nothing. Not even this love.”
“You can’t not tell him.” Liz bit her lip, trying to
not break a confidence. It would be so easy, but maybe that was the point. Love
shouldn’t be easy. It should be worked for and fought over in blood, so it
became something so precious and not taken for granted. “He might feel the
same.”
“This love and friendship I have for him, it’s so big.
It’s overwhelming. How can I risk everything for a few moments of something?
What if he doesn’t want that? You saw what destiny did to his friendship and
relationship with Isabel. I can’t risk losing him in my life. He needs me in
his as well.”
“So this is some sacrifice for him. You hide your true
feelings to be what, Maria? His confidante for life? His buddy?”
“I had this dream once … when I was young. Billy
reminded me of that dream. Music. I had it with Alex, and when he died, the
music died too.” Maria wiped away her tears facing Liz. “The thing I
discovered today is that dreams are important, and though the dreams I dream now
aren’t the same ones I had when I was thirteen, that doesn’t make them less
important. I dream of Michael. Of him and me together, living our lives on our
terms, fighting together, a united front to survive. Music, laughter, love, and
so much more. It all mixes together, because for me, Michael is always in the
center of it with me. He’s the music. Always.” Maria shook her head. “It
was just a silly dream.”
“Maybe sometimes you have to go after your dreams. Maria.
You’re strong. I’ve never known you to back down or away.” Liz smiled
ruefully. “And who am I to tell you just give them up, because without your
dreams, you're just... me.”
“Liz.” Maria squeezed her friend’s hand hard,
comforting her. Over the years, Liz lost so much of her dreams, all for one …
Max.
“I'm sorry.” Liz wiped away her moment of self-pity.
“I'm sorry. That sounded way too self-pitying, and this isn't about me. It's
just that, um … I'm committed to going down this road with Max. Good, bad,
indifferent, I'm committed. And I've given up a lot along the way, so don't be
so quick to give up your dreams. He might walk with you, and he might not.
Don’t you think you owe it to him to give him the chance to decide?”
“I don’t know that I can be that brave to risk
everything by reaching for this dream of him, Liz. I don’t know, but I’ll
work at it.”
“I know you will.”
Maria shook her head. “Michael Guerin. I think I knew
from the moment he kidnapped me. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be this
dimwitted for so long. This DeLuca is a one woman crew of the Roswell Ship of
Denial. Leave it to me to fall in love with an alien in
~~~
Michael, Max and Isabel watched on Route 7 as the jeep was
being pulled up from the ravine. Max now knew why his father cut their fishing
trip short. They had talked, but they got nowhere. His father was investigating
him for a reason. He no longer knew his son, and he risked his own reputation on
a boy that was hardly identifiable as the child he raised. Kyle called when they
found the jeep’s remains.
“This is bad.” Isabel said.
Michael couldn’t agree more. “What are you gonna tell
your father, Max?”
“I'm not gonna tell him anything. He doesn't trust me
anymore.”
“Who does he trust?” Michael asked. Max looked at
Isabel, and Michael lifted a brow.
“Max …” Isabel looked at the other two. “I am sick
of this. I am sick of the lies!”
“They trust you, Isabel.”
“I'm sick of lying to our parents.” Isabel told her
brother. “I am sick of lying to my husband.”
“There's no other choice.”
“Yes, there is.” Isabel looked at the jeep as it was
recovered. “The truth. We can tell them the truth.”
Max shook his head, and Michael remained quiet, but he
agreed. “It's too dangerous for them and for us.”
“Max, you're wrong I want to tell them …”
“What? That we’re aliens?” Max asked.
“No. That you had a thing with Tess. She got pregnant,
and left with your unborn child. You have a child out there somewhere, and the
night she left, you got so upset, you ran the jeep off the ravine.”
Michael lifted a brow. “That might work! The truth, or
partial truth. Hard to disprove, and trip us up. I’m with Isabel on this.”
Max looked at the jeep. Great. More reasons for his parents
to think he was out of control. A teenage parent, unwed, with no idea where his
child was. It wasn’t like he had any pride left.
“Fine. Do it.”
At dinner with Jesse and her parents, Isabel told her
parents the story of Max’s baby and Tess, and later, Mr. Evans while looking
at the board he was using to chart out Max’s life and the huge mystery of it,
he added Isabel’s name to the list of co-conspirators.
~~~
Michael found Maria sitting in her dimly lit room with a
candle as her only light. Pausing before entering, he watched her. She looked
lonely, a little lost. There was something different about her, like she had
pulled away from him.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she said back quietly without looking at him,
her body stiffening.
Michael frowned. “Is he gone?”
“Yeah.” Maria glanced at Michael finally. “Are you
feeling better?”
“Getting there.”
“That’s good.”
Michael
moved into the room sitting on the bed, strangely it felt different, as if he
was invading her space, something he couldn’t remember ever feeling.
“I’m
sorry, okay? I’m sorry that this whole mess … my out of control powers,
Max’s dad investigating him interrupted your life, your visit with your
friend. I’m sorry that once again, you had to put your life aside for ours.”
Maria
shrugged.
“Stop
that!” Michael said in anger, more from hating how distant she seemed. If what
he asked of her risked their friendship, put a wedge in it … Michael
couldn’t take that.
“I’m
sorry, Michael. It’s not you … really, it’s not.” Maria reluctantly took
his hand. “It’s me. I guess I had a lot happen to me over the last two days
and not all of it was good. I’ve been here trying to work it out, maybe come
to an understanding of what it means to me and my future.”
That
sounded ominous. Michael frowned, not sure he liked where this was going.
“Billy
kissed me.” Maria said, then paused rethinking that. “Actually, I guess it
was mutual. He started it, but I didn’t stop him or even try, and then I
kissed him back.”
Michael
felt it inside first, this feeling in his stomach. He quelled it as best as he
could before it moved forward resulting in him losing control of his powers. She
wasn’t his, not in that way, and she had the right to kiss other men. Michael
could feel it. He was on the verge of losing it. The hell she did! That was his
fault too. He should’ve made things clear a long time ago.
“It
was strange, but Billy and that kiss, it changed things for me.” Maria glanced
at Michael unaware of the struggle he was having not to lose it all in a rush of
jealousy. “I mean it wasn’t really the kiss. That was okay, just not what I
was expecting.”
Michael
cleared his throat. “Expecting? You were expecting something?”
“Sure.
It’s been four years, and he was my first. I think there was always this idea
or thought that maybe he was the One, the one that got away. What if I met
‘him’ and let him walk away without realizing I found him. People always
think that true love is something … a commodity, like soulmates. You can pick
them off a tree, and there could be more than one, so you miss one, wait …
another will show up eventually.”
“And
Billy wasn’t that?”
“No.”
Maria plucked at the bedding. “He was more like a wake up call.” Maria
looked at Michael. “I’ve been sleeping for a long time, Michael. Maybe
forever, since my dad left, but definitely since Alex died. I’ve been waiting
to exhale.”
Alex.
Another lost to the great alien conspiracy. Alex. Maria’s life. Liz’s
identity. Kyle’s sense of mortality. Valenti’s job. There was a cost to the
humans.
“I
never meant for you to pay for knowing me, Maria. For knowing all of us.”
“I
know. It’s not just that. Sometimes I want off this huge spinning wheel of
alienness. I’m young, in my teenage years, and feeling alien … that’s a
given, but when you add this alien thing to it, it clouds the whole growing up
experience. I barely know my own body. It’s like a rage. A fever. I think you
know what I mean, because this week, your body raged out of control.
I don’t know how to process all that I’m feeling, and you know, I
think that’s okay. It’s okay, I think, because it part of this horrible
puberty of raging emotions and hormones.”
“Hormones?
That kiss?”
“Yeah,
it was passionate, but not in the way you mean.” Maria finally moved to face
him. “It was like an awaking, a reminder that I’m young, free, and my whole
life is before me waiting for me to dream, to reach, and fulfill those dreams.
I’ve been holding my breath for a long time, Michael … at the very least,
since Alex died. I don’t know what I was waiting for …”
Maria
stopped.
“That’s
not true. I just lied.” Maria laughed at herself. “God, I’m trying to be
honest, and automatically I cover to protect myself, to protect my fragile human
heart. I want to be better than this … more honest.”
Michael
could feel her like a doomed trainwreck moving fast from him. He never wanted to
risk losing her, give her a reason to walk away.
“Maria
… can I tell you something?” Maria nodded, she happily gave up the floor to
him because she was on the verge of telling him the truth, how she felt, what
she learned today. She was in love with him. Fear bit back her tongue. Not fear
of rejection as much as risking the most important friendship of her life.
“I
… my powers, they were out of control because of my emotions. Maybe it was
this puberty thing, you just spoke of. Whatever it was, it was a rage. You’re
right. Hormonal? More than likely. It was Billy.”
“Billy?”
Michael
nodded. “He walked in the door, and I was okay with that. But, I wasn’t
prepared for how much he dominated in a part of your life I had no foothold or
understanding.” Maria looked confused. “Music, Maria. He was music. It was
the part of you that you always shared with Alex. When Alex died, that part of
you shut down.”
Maria
nodded, tears slowly flooding her eyes.
“I
guess I always thought you’d go back to it when you were ready. I never
expected it to be forever. Music and you, you seem to go together, because when
I see you, and I mean really ‘see’ you, it’s not just visual. I always
hear music.”
A tear
ran down Maria’s cheek, unnoticed. “You do?” Her voice held a trembling
wonder.
Michael
nodded. “I made a mistake. I’ve always listened to the melody, the song that
is you. At time, it is all I have in calmness, knowing you’re there for me. I
made a mistake, because I wasn’t listening to the sounds behind the music. I
missed that. Or maybe, I didn’t want to know because I was powerless to change
it. I don’t know.” Michael licked his lips. He was rambling. “Behind the
music, Maria … there’s crying. You’re crying, lost, and I didn’t listen
or know how to fix it so I ignored it, refused to listen beyond what it was
covering.”
“Michael
…”
“No.
Let me finish.” Michael took a breath. “What I am … being an alien, all of
it, it’s cost you. You think I don’t know that?”
“I
never …”
“Don’t
lie to spare me. Yes, you have, Maria. At times, you regret it. I know. Today,
today you regretted it, and I made you do that. The thing is with my powers out
of control, it was about Billy. I was jealous. Alienness took away the music,
and he brought it back. He gave you back a part of you that a part of me took
away … maybe I didn’t kill Alex, but knowing me … us...did.” Maria tried
to talk, but Michael wasn’t finished. “I hated that he could see what was
behind the music so easily, and he didn’t have some alien power to see, like I
did … and yet, he saw it so much clearer.”
Maria
shut her eyes for a moment. “I’ve never regretted you. That’s a truth I
can’t deny or hide. All of this …” Maria gestured to the world wide. “It
means nothing compared to you.” Maria took Michael’s hand. “I learned
something today. I learned I was biding time, sleeping, but I’m not asleep
anymore, and I don’t know where this will lead, or how long it will take me to
find the courage to try, but I’ll work at it every day.”
“Work
at what, Maria?”
“Me.”
Maria laughed at herself. “I was letting everything around me define who I
thought I was … letting me fake it, like I’ve done since my dad left. Maybe
it is time for me to really start working on me. Who I am. What I’ll be. I’m
afraid you won’t want to know who I become. I was just sitting here, confused
as to where to begin. Today, I realized that I was betraying Alex. He’ll never
dream again. He has no future because it was stolen from him at seventeen. I
have a life to live, and I wasn’t doing it.” Maria sniffed back the tears
that refused not to fall. “I’m betraying his memory every time I cowardly
back away from love and life. I never meant for that to happen.”
“Healing
takes time, Maria. Whatever you do, or who you are inside, or become, I will
want to know you. It might take time, but time we have.”
“Mine
is running out. I’m letting it weigh me down like a disease.” Maria looked
at him, and because she couldn’t resist, she touched his face, her fingers
softly moving over his cheek bones. “Where do I start? This world is so vast,
and I am only one small part of it. Where do I begin again? How do I get clean
again?”
Michael
reached over for Alex’s guitar. Handing it to her, he said, “Here. Begin
here.”
Maria
hand moved over the wood of the instrument. She looked at Michael, and he could
read the fear. She was afraid of failing, of losing something of Alex, what she
had left.
“He
won’t go away, Maria. Even if you move on in your life, it’s not like
forgetting him. Maybe it’s making him more a part of you. Play something. Play
for you. Play for me. Play for Alex.”
Maria
leaned forward, she softly kissed his mouth, both of them pausing for a moment,
sharing breath before they both sat back afraid to go any further. Like a chord,
life was part of a larger melody, and sometimes, it took practice to learn how
one small chord played in the whole thing.
Playing
for Michael, Maria slowly worked on the entire masterpiece that would slowly
evolve into her life … into their lives.
