State of Grace: Bent (Maria)

by Irene Shafer

Title: State of Grace: Bent (Maria) (#4 in the series)
Author: Irene Shafer
Email: ibshafer@frontiernet.net

Rating: PG

Catagory: Michael and Maria

Disclaimers: the usual; I bow down to the “great” and powerful Katim's and company, by whose good graces I mangle these characters. . .
Summary: What followed after “Destiny’s” revelations; written in those first few weeks afterwards.

“If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin

shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again”

-- Bent, Mad Season, Matchbox Twenty

* * * * * * *

‘It's never been safe. What difference does it make now?’

So, I’m a high maitenance kind of girl. I don’t try to be. I just am. I’m worth it, though,  you know. No lie.

You, my fine friend, are a high maintenance kind of guy.

A match made in heaven? Maybe Hell should take a little credit, too. . .

I’m definitely in one of them right now, though, because you slay me.  Out cold. Down for the count. One foot in the. Dead.

‘Kay, I know you’re going through a lot. I get that, you know? But that’s what I’m here for, babe. To help with shit like that.

I know you’re not used to people caring what happens to you, at least, people other than Max and Isabel, but I thought we’d covered all that ground months ago.

Now you’re doing the ‘for my own good’, bullcrap and telling me you love me in the same stupid breath you’re saying I should just stay away from you.

What kind of shit is that, Michael?

Maybe you’re just trying to embrace your alien-hood. I get that.

But there’s this, like, pathetic little part of me, the part that’s just been waiting for you to find some reason to run, that thinks you pulled that line on me so you could be free to be with Isabel. Isabel, your sister. Isabel, your fiancee-from-another-planet. . .

I don’t get the bit about me not being safe, though. I have never, in my whole, miserable life, felt safer with any other person. Man, woman or child. You’re it, guy. You be the One.

And remember me? I’m the one that makes it all all right. I’m like Living Valium.

I am your Grief Relief.

So telling me something like that, I just don’t buy it. I also don’t buy that you want to be with Isabel. That way. I’ve seen you two together. You’re as sister/brotherly as she and Max are. Kind of icky, don’t’cha think?

I went over to Liz’s today to find out what happened out there and man, she’s in such a bad way right now that I can’t even get her to talk to me, which for Lizzie, is really saying a lot. She’s not even upset, which is scarey, she just had this look on her face like her life was over. . . I tried to stay with her, but she shooed me out, saying she had to take a nap or something.

No way is that girl gonna be sleeping anytime soon. . .

But her leaving Max to his destiny, to Tess, that’s just as bent as you walking out on me because you ‘love me too much’. . .

What’s with all this self-sacrifice, people?! Am I the only one here without a noble bone in her body?

I want what I want because I deserve it. And I’ll make it work because the things I deserve are worth it.

Why does it have to be this complicated, Michael ? It shouldn’t be. You. Me. Whatever comes comes. No big.

And if you think I’m gonna sit around wasting time trying to get over you, you can forget that, mister.

I give you one day, then I’m on you like white on rice.

Me leaving you alone? Guess again. . .

fini