The Son Also Rises
By Karen

Rating: MATURE
Disclaimer: Characters from the show belong to Katims and co. Alyssa and Nate are mine No infringement intended...er, no offense to Hemingway on the title, either
Summary: This is the sequel to His Father’s Son. Nate and Alyssa are moving to Boston to go to college, but we all know that life is never that simple for a Roswellian
Author's Note: Banner by the very talented babylisou

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Part One

Happiness was fleeting.

Saying goodbye to Alyssa Guerin was the hardest thing Nate Spencer had ever done.  They’d been inseparable the whole week that he’d been in Roswell for her high school graduation, never spending more than a couple of hours at a time apart.  They both understood that their separation was going to be short – only a matter of a couple of months – before they were reunited for the fall semester of classes at Boston College .  But that had not lessened the blow for either of them.

In fact, Nate had mused at one point that he’d rather be back in Agent O’Donnell’s torture room than to have to endure another farewell at the airport.  To him, it felt like someone had removed one of his testicles with a rusty razorblade – without anesthesia.  The entire flight back to the east, all he could think about was her tears and the pain inside of his heart.  He’d folded his arms over his thin body in a defensive gesture and stared despondently out of the oval window of the aircraft for the entire trip, refusing both food and drink when they were offered to him.

That behavior continued once he was back at his parent’s home in western New York .  He didn’t want to eat.  He didn’t want to sleep.  He took to pacing the floor until all hours of the morning.  This was the second time he’d returned from Roswell in a state of mind that could be considered unhealthy.  His mother, Emma, had tried to gently suggest to him that he might not want to go there again, that it wasn’t in his best interest.

But she couldn’t understand that it was in his best interest, because if he couldn’t be near Alyssa, if he couldn’t hold her and love her, he was sure he would die.  It wasn’t depression or trauma this time that had turned Nate into a zombie – he was simply lovesick.

Phone calls to New Mexico were frequent, sometimes ending in tears, sometimes ending in laughter.  They tried the whole phone sex thing and found it lacking – Nate could no longer find anything appealing about touching himself, not when he knew what it was like for her to touch him instead.  The few times he did try to please himself, he ended up feeling disappointed and empty in the end.  Nate’s days of solitary sex were over.

The best he could do was to try to imagine when he went to bed that he was nestled between her breasts instead of on his feather pillow; sometimes, if he closed his eyes and tried to convince himself with all of his might that he really was curled up beside her with his head on her chest, he could get himself to fall asleep.  But usually the disappointment of waking up with nothing but a bag filled with duck feathers was too much to bear.

Not that every moment was doom and gloom.  Amidst the angst, there were brief periods of joy, things worth celebrating.  Maria’s CD debuted in June at number five on the charts.  Within the week, it had risen to number one, where it stayed for six consecutive weeks despite the glut of new summer releases.  Even though her mother irked her endlessly, Nate could tell that Alyssa was pleased that after such a long absence from the music scene, the public had apparently been eager for Maria’s return.

One thing that hadn’t returned was the seal of Antar – something for which Nate was eternally grateful.  The incident at the hotel had been bizarre, to say the least.  When he’d pressed Alyssa for a decryption to her ominous “You’re the one” comment, she’d had no explanation.  In fact, she’d seemed to be kind of dazed.  Nate wanted to brush it under the rug and forget that it had happened, but he knew he couldn’t, for a number of reasons – the recurring dream of Alyssa kissing the spot on his chest over where the seal liked to appear and the feeling of being able to walk as a free people, the fact that upon seeing the seal she had called him her “king”, and the fact that once she’d touched it she’d collapsed and the seal had disappeared only minutes after having shown up on Nate’s skin again.

Surely those things were too many and too strange to be ignored.

Nate spent many hours trying to decipher them.  He told Alyssa of the dream, hoping to jar some memory of what she’d seen when touching the seal, but she’d come up empty.  It was frustrating to say the least.

One person who apparently wasn’t frustrated was young Jeremy Ramirez.  His mother, Isabel, had thought that banishing him to New York while Nate was in Roswell would be a punishment of some kind for his transgression of bringing his girlfriend to the garage loft to fool around.  What Isabel didn’t know, however, was that all she’d done was hold a door wide open for her eldest son, who’d found a whole new stomping ground where he had no reputation to proceed him, where tourists came and went by the bus load.  The young man with the olive skin and dark, curly hair managed to seduce four different girls – including Annie’s old friend Chris, who was five years his senior – before Nate even returned from New Mexico .  When it came time to return to Boston , Jeremy had asked to stay in New York for the rest of the summer, thereby unwittingly showing his mother that her “punishment” had failed and then he was quickly on a bus headed back to the east coast.

So Nate spent the summer helping his father deal with the tourist crowd, making himself work like a mad man to take his mind off the fact that only half of his heart was beating without Alyssa there with him.  When he wasn’t working, he was running or lifting weights, furious at himself for being unable to function like a normal person.  The anger and the distractions were only temporary, however, because each night he still climbed into bed alone, the coldness wrapping around him once again.

As summer waned and the start of classes loomed, Nate began packing his bags and avoiding his mother’s gaze – she couldn’t bear to see him go, knowing that this was it, that he was finally branching off on his own.  She accepted it, but it didn’t hurt any less.  Nate could see that hurt in her eyes and simply didn’t have the strength to comfort her and himself at the same time.  He had never been a selfish man, but at this point in his life, he was pretty sure his agony was greater than hers.

While he was getting ready to pack up his truck and start on the long drive to Boston , he received a call from Liz Evans, her voice sad and congested, like she’d been crying.  Max was gone again, called out to save the world from the latest threat; he wouldn’t be around when Nate reached Boston .  It was devastating news, considering that Max had to leave behind not only the wife he adored, but also their infant daughter, who was barely three months old.  Nate felt a pang in his heart, remembering his own pain and wondering how Liz managed to do this so often, for longer periods of time.  When he asked her that, she’d simply laughed in defeat and said that she only thought about being thankful for what she got that she thought she’d never have – six uninterrupted months of Max’s time before their baby’s birth and during the first few months of her life.  In all of the time they’d been married, she’d never had that and was very grateful for it.

Her simple comment about looking back and seeing what was good rather than looking forward and seeing no end in sight to Max’s absence put a whole new spin on things for Nate.  He hoped someday he could be as appreciative as Liz, that he wouldn’t be so devastated about a short summer-long separation.  But he also knew that Liz had been doing this for twenty years – at one time, she’d probably been just like him.

Nate arrived in Boston a full week before Alyssa was due to arrive.  They had talked about her coming east for the summer, getting a job in New York so that they could be together, but in the end she’d wanted to be with her family for one last summer.  Even if it had meant sacrificing her heart and part of her sanity.  Nate understood that fully.  If the option had been reversed, he wasn’t sure he could have left Emma and Jonathan for the whole summer, knowing they might never be together in the same way again.

While he counted down the days, minutes and hours until Alyssa’s flight arrived, he set about fixing up the loft above Isabel’s garage, rearranging furniture, unpacking his belongings, hanging a few pictures on the wall.  Jeremy stopped in often, usually eating something, and crashed on the couch for awhile.  Jesse had run an extra cable from the satellite dish to the loft so that Alyssa and Nate could have television, but Jeremy seemed to be benefiting from it more than anyone else.  While Nate fixed up his new home, the teen sprawled on the sofa and watched MTV mindlessly.

Not that Nate minded.  He liked the company.  He liked his cousin.  For all of his randy ways with women, Jeremy was actually a good kid.  He was respectful of others, was rarely in a bad mood and could pull a prank with the best of them.  Nate knew that he’d stolen Jeremy’s love nest, that his safe place to bring his conquests was now gone, but the boy didn’t seem to hold a grudge over it.  If asked to help move a heavy piece of furniture, he would.  If asked to turn off the TV and go back to his own room, he’d do that too.

A few days before Alyssa was to arrive, Nate finally had the loft to his liking and found himself bored.  With nothing to keep his mind from counting the seconds until she arrived, he hopped in his truck and drove across the city to where Liz and Max lived.  Once there, he found a tired Liz at the door, dark circles beneath her eyes.  But she still smiled as she gave him a hug and invited him in.

“Emily’s asleep,” she said in a hushed tone.

Nate nodded in understanding as he made sure the screen door closed without banging into the frame.  It was mid-August in Massachusetts and extremely muggy.  The cool air inside of the small house felt good against his damp skin.

“How’ve you been?” Liz asked, trying to be chipper as she sat down in her rocker.

“Good,” Nate lied.  “Alyssa’s coming on Thursday.”  Inside, he kicked himself – he’d only made it about thirty seconds without bringing her up.

Liz smiled tiredly.  “That’s good, Nate.  Bring her over when she comes?  I haven’t seen her since…”  She drifted off, thinking.

Nate knew when she’d seen Alyssa last – it was right after he’d been rescued from the clutches of Agent O’Donnell.  “Last fall,” he filled in for her.  It was obvious that Liz wasn’t firing on all cylinders.

“Right,” she said, a slow smile coming to her face.  “Anyway, you’ll bring her over?  I’ll make dinner.”

Nate nodded, but knew that Liz wouldn’t be cooking them anything – she looked like she could barely hold herself upright, let alone cook for guests.  If they came over, they were bringing carryout. 

Liz’s eyelids dropped and she quickly forced them back open, guilt-stricken.

“Liz,” Nate said gently.  “I can leave if you want to lie down.”

She shook her head.  “No, please stay.”

“You look like you need a nap,” he said sympathetically.  “Why don’t I go, let you sleep and then come back?”

Liz sighed.  “Because Emily will be up again in an hour or so and I’ll have to feed her.  It’s easier if I just stay awake than try to get back up again.”

Nate shrugged.  “So I’ll feed her while you sleep.”

One corner of Liz’s mouth lifted slightly.  “Yeah?  That’s not going to be possible – unless you’ve developed the ability to lactate.”

His brow furrowed, processing the issue, then his cheeks turned red.  “Oh.”  His eyes involuntarily went to Liz’s breasts, which did seem a little larger than normal, then he automatically kicked himself for being unable to not look.  “Do you have a bottle?  Can’t you just -?”  He made squeezing motions before his chest, turned redder and dropped his hands into his lap.  Maybe he should just end this conversation now…

Liz giggled lightly.  “Use a breast pump?  Is that what you mean?”

Nate nodded, his ears flaming.

Her smile faded away and he could tell she was seriously considering it.  He knew that Liz was a wonderful mother, but being on her own and worrying about Max was obviously taking a toll on her well-being.  The offer of help and the time to sleep might just be too tempting.

“You really wouldn’t mind?” she asked tentatively, her expression uncertain.

Nate grinned. “No, I don’t mind.  She’s my baby sister after all, right?”

Liz nodded.  “Right.”  Like every bone in her body ached, she pushed herself up from the rocker, paused and then started down the hall.  “I’ll be right back.”

For the first time in ages, Nate felt light, anticipating taking care of his little sister.  He’d only seen pictures of her off and on over the last three months when Liz emailed them to him.  He hadn’t been able to hold her since he’d done so at the hospital after she’d been born.  The thought of being able to help Liz out, of taking care of this entirely dependent creature, brought a smile to his face.  It was a good distraction, better than running or pumping iron.

After awhile, Nate caught Liz out of the corner of his eye as she walked into the kitchen.  He heard the refrigerator open and close, then she was at the end of the couch, her eyes bloodshot with exhaustion.

“I put it in the fridge,” she said.  “Just make sure it’s warm before you give it to her, but not too warm.  Test it on your wrist.”

He nodded.  Seemed simple enough.

“You’re sure about this?” she said again, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Positive.  Go rest,” he encouraged.

Liz smiled lightly, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, causing his blush to return.  “Thank you.  You’re a sweetheart, Nate.”  Then she disappeared up the stairs and the house was quiet.

Nate listened carefully, trying to tell if he could hear Emily stirring yet.  She wasn’t, which was slightly disappointing.  He hoped that Liz didn’t sleep for a half hour or something and come downstairs before he had the opportunity to play with his sister.  Of course, Nate had never taken care of a baby before.  He should be nervous about it, but it was just a baby.  It couldn’t be that hard.

Could it?

Part Two

When little Emily Evans had been born early, underweight and underdeveloped, she’d been unable to utter a peep, denying her parents that spark of comfort and reassurance that came in the form of a newborn’s first cry.

Now, however, she was had overcome her rough beginnings and had more than an ample set of lungs inside of her small body.  In fact, she could raise the dead if she wanted to.

This is what Nate was thinking as he looked down at her in his arms, her face as red as an Arizona sunset, her mouth stretched wide enough to stuff a baseball into.  She was pissed.  Really pissed.  And Nate wasn’t really sure what to do about it.

In retrospect, he thought maybe his running into her room at the first sign of movement and jerking her out of her warm bed hadn’t been the best of ideas.  But he’d been so eager to see her after so many months, to hold her again, that he hadn’t even considered waiting until she’d called for someone to tend to her.  One coo and he’d shot off the couch like someone had poked him in the ass.

“Shh, baby,” he said, glancing toward the nursery door and hoping that Emily’s cries weren’t going to awaken Liz, who was trying to get some much-needed rest.  “It’s okay, baby.”  His tone was desperate.

But Emily continued to kick, crying until she made herself cough.  She kept turning her head toward Nate’s shirt, then she’d cry harder.  Eventually, he caught on that she was looking for a nice warm breast – something he didn’t have.  But at least that was a clue – she must be hungry.  He knew how to fix that one – there was a bottle in the refrigerator!

Smiling nervously, he gave her a pat on the bottom, trying to reassure her that food was on the way, then realized that her diaper made a sick kind of thud when he smacked it.  He froze, his smile dissolving rapidly.  She was wet…or worse.

Nate glanced around the nursery, saw a high, flat table with some supplies beside it.  That must be where one changed a baby.  The thought of poop wasn’t appealing to him and a selfish little piece of him suddenly wished that Emily’s cries would wake her mother.  But, no, he’d signed on for this task – it was up to him to change that diaper, poopy or not.

Swallowing back his hesitance, he gently laid the angry Emily on top of the table and started to unsnap her little one-piece underwear thingie.  Odd things – baby clothes.  He pulled the snaps at the crotch, then hoisted the garment up to her armpits; his eyes settled on the diaper...God knew what might be lurking in there.  Though, she didn’t stink, so that had to be a good sign.  Still pissed with him, she kicked her legs, making it hard for him to maneuver around her to undo the diaper.  Exasperated, he found a toy by the wipes and held it before her.

“Look, Emily!  Look at the teddy bear!  What a cute widdle teddy bear!”

She stopped crying briefly, watching this goofy man wave the toy before her.  Nate bumped her on the nose with it and she blinked, unsure of him.  He did it again and made a goofy face – which immediately made her cry.

Sighing, Nate quickly snatched for the tape strips of the diaper and ripped them to either side, turning his head in case poop should fly out of it.  When nothing happened, he gingerly pulled down the front of the diaper and breathed a sigh of relief.  No poop.

“You’re a good girl, Emily,” he said, pulling the diaper from beneath her body.  “You’re such a good girl that I’m going to get you something to eat once we’re done here.” 

He paused, looked down at the heavy diaper in his hand, glanced around the little pink room.  What was he supposed to do with it?  He spied a pail not far away and assumed that’s where it went…but he couldn’t reach it.  Now he had a dilemma.  Was Emily big enough to roll off the table if he walked away and left her unattended?  That would be a little hard to explain to her parents.

He resorted to dropping the diaper on the floor.

Nate hated the smell and feel of the diaper wipe – but it appeared that Emily hated it worse.  By now, she was crying so hard he feared for her health.  He frowned, worried that he was damaging her in some way.  He hurriedly dropped the wipe on top of the diaper and reached for a clean one.  He stared at it, at the little parade of ducks that marched across one side of it.

The question was – which side had the ducks – front or back?

Nate looked at the fallen diaper, tried to remember where the ducks had been.  His brow furrowed – he couldn’t remember.  He looked at Emily.

“Do the ducks go in the front or back?” he asked her, grinning sheepishly.

She looked at him like he was a moron.

He held up the diaper, turned it this way and that.  And decided the ducks went in the back.  Another round of fighting her pumping legs and he managed to get the diaper strapped to her body, albeit haphazardly.  Re-snapping the underwear proved to be more difficult, however – every time he thought he had the snaps lined up, she’d kick and he’d lose his grip and have to start over.  Once her tiny foot made contact with his face, stomping him cleanly in the nose.

The diaper debacle finally over, Nate picked up his little sister and found that he was wringing with sweat.  Good God – she was just a baby!  Why was this so difficult?  Disappointed over his ineptitude, he walked to the kitchen, bouncing her lightly while he retrieved the bottle of milk from the refrigerator.  Panic suddenly gripped him – this was the only bottle of milk he had.  If he did something asinine like drop it or overheat it or something, he was going to have to wake Liz and he just didn’t want to do that.  Unsure of himself once again, he popped the bottle into the microwave and heated it for a few seconds, tried it on his wrist, put it back for a few more seconds.  Emily hung on his shoulder, complaining softer than she had been before, sucking on her fist.

“I’m hurrying, baby,” he murmured, poking the numbers on the microwave.  “Just a few more seconds, I promise.”

 Satisfied with the temperature of the bottle, Nate took the baby and her dinner to the living room and sat down in the rocking chair.  He tried to remember how Mrs. Parker had shown him how to cradle a baby as he adjusted Emily in his lap.  Taking the bottle in his free hand, he brought it to her mouth, teased her bottom lip with the nipple.  She sucked it in – then spit it back out and immediately began to cry.  Nate got it – she was used to Mommy feeding her and this was not Mommy.  This was some rubber thing he was trying to put in her mouth and she didn’t like it.  Worse yet, she didn’t even know who he was.

Nate looked at her in surprise. Was that it?  Had she forgotten her big brother Nate already, the one she’d clung to as a lifeline when she’d been unceremoniously dumped into this world?  He curled the arm that was cradling her head and stroked her soft cheek with his thumb.  Closing his eyes, he prayed for her to remember him.

It’s me.  You remember me, Emily Marie.  Your big brother Nate.  I held you at the hospital.  I helped your Mommy know what you needed.

Silence in the room made Nate pop open his eyes quickly for fear something had happened to his tiny charge.  Looking down, he saw that she had taken the bottle into her mouth and was watching him with big brown eyes.  His mouth dropped open but he continued to stroke her cheek with his thumb as he started the gentle motion of the rocker.  It was almost as though she’d heard him, that she understood now that he was safe.  She watched him unblinkingly as she pulled on the bottle, her eyes seeming wiser than her years.

While she nursed from the bottle, Nate felt a small wave of relief wash through him.  If nothing else, the last half hour had proven to him that he was in no way, shape or form ready to be a parent.  He would be eternally grateful that Alyssa had gone on the pill, that they wouldn’t have to worry about surprise parenthood.

Nate stopped rocking the chair.  He was nineteen.  The baby in his arms was three months old.  Max had been nineteen and Nate hadn’t been much older than three months when Tess had returned to earth with him.  For the first time, Nate understood what a huge undertaking it was to take care of a baby and could empathize with Max’s decision.  Even if there hadn’t been the whole alien complication to the situation, maybe Max giving Nate up had been for the best.  No matter how much it had hurt.

Nate looked down at Emily and found her eyelids drooping again, her little mouth working the bottle in an unsteady rhythm.  His brow furrowed.  Wasn’t he supposed to burp her or something?  Gently, he tugged the bottle from her mouth and waited for her to protest.  When she didn’t, he turned her around and placed her face over his shoulder, patted her back lightly.  In a few moments, she let out a belch that made his eyebrows jump sharply.  He laughed lightly – what a little lady this one was!  Then she fell limply against his shoulder, asleep.

They sat in the chair for a long time, the house silent save for the gentle whoosh of the rockers and the little baby moans coming from Emily.  Nate rubbed her back in slow circular motions while she slept, drooling on his T-shirt.  He felt a little tug in his heart for this beautiful little girl, a life that would always be a part of him. 

Eventually, Liz descended the stairs, her long hair mussed from her slumber.  Nate smiled at her as she plopped down on the couch, still dazed.

“Feel better?” he asked.

She ran a hand through her hair and nodded, squinted at the clock.  “What time is it?  It’s three already?  Nate, why didn’t you wake me?”  She seemed horrified that she’d slept for three hours.

He shrugged.  “No need to, really.  And you needed the sleep.”

Liz’s eyes drifted to her baby, who was riding Nate’s shoulder peacefully.  “Did she give you any trouble?”

Nate shook his head.  “Nope.  She was an angel.”

Liz smiled.  “Want me to take her?”

He craned his neck but could only see the back of Emily’s head.  “She’s okay.  Unless you want to take her.”

She shook her head.  “Not yet.  Hold on.”  With that, she got up and walked on her tiptoes down the hallway.  Nate heard her rummaging around, then she reappeared with a camera.  “Can I?”

He nodded in response.

Liz grinned, then took a couple of pictures, changing her angle in between.  “I’m going to send these to Max.”

Nate grinned.  “Where is he these days?”

Liz turned off the camera and sat back down on the couch.  “I don’t know.”

Nate’s grin disappeared.  She didn’t know – or she didn’t trust him enough to tell him?

Liz seemed to be able to read his mind.  “I really don’t know, Nate,” she sighed.  “He never tells me.  He thinks that the less I know, the safer I am.”

Nate frowned.  He could see the frustration on her pretty face.  The Evanses were leading a less than idyllic life.  “How about when he calls you?  Can’t you tell from the area code?”

She shook her head.  “He uses his cell.  And he never calls at the same time of day, so that anyone who might be listening in can’t tell what time zone he’s calling from.  Max has been doing this for twenty years, Nate.  He’s good at covering his tracks.”  She gave him a weary look and tucked her hair behind her ear.  Her eyes settled on Emily’s backside and her brow furrowed.  “Nate.”

“What?”

Standing, Liz pulled at the back of Emily’s onesie, trying to see through the thin fabric, then snorted a laugh.

“What?” Nate repeated, somehow thinking she was laughing at him.

“The ducks, Nate, go in the front.”

On his drive back to his loft, Nate thought about the tough situation Liz was in.  He had a suspicion that being without Max, trying to raise a child in what amounted to a one-parent home, had been a factor in her decision to remain childless.  Sure, she probably was worried about his alien connections and the impact that could have on a baby, but she also had to have been concerned with towing the load on her own.

It wasn’t fair.  Nothing these days was fair.  It wasn’t fair that Max had to be away and it wasn’t fair that Liz had to struggle because of it.  It wasn’t fair that Emily would never really know her father, that they’d have to get reacquainted every time he returned to town.  It wasn’t fair that he’d miss her birthdays, her dance recitals, her first Christmas morning.  It wasn’t fair that Max had been born part alien.

Nate frowned.  Why was it that some people seemed to receive a much harsher lot in life than others did?  Throughout his upbringing, he’d been blissfully unaware of his origins and he’d had all of those things Emily never would.  That in itself wasn’t fair.  The world was a cruel, unjust place.

As he pulled into his parking spot alongside the Ramirez’s garage, he came to a decision – he’d never been a planner, but he was going to put together a schedule and they were all going to take turns helping Liz.  That included him, Alyssa, and that horny Jeremy, who desperately needed an occupation to take his mind off chasing skirts.  Nate would ask Isabel, too, though he knew she was busy with her store and the twins.  Nate would not ask for the twins’ help, however – simply because they creeped him out a bit.  He wasn’t sure he wanted his sister exposed to that just yet.

Decision made, Nate felt a little better as he climbed out of his truck.  In the loft, he found Jeremy slouched on the couch, eating a bag of Cheetos.  He knew he’d locked the door, but with a whole bunch of hybrids running around, there really wasn’t much point in it.

“Dude,” Nate said, drawing the boy’s attention.  “You’re first.”

Jeremy stopped mid-chew.  “For what?” he said around a mouthful of orange.

“Tomorrow, you’re going over to help your Aunt Liz with the baby.”

Jeremy’s dark eyes grew round and Nate could see he was about to protest.

“If you don’t,” he said calmly.  “I’m cutting off the MTV.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows lifted quickly as he swallowed.  “I don’t know how to take care of a baby.”

Nate shrugged.  “It’s not that hard.  But just remember one thing.”

Jeremy looked sick.  “What?”

“The ducks go in the front.  Everyone knows that.”

Part Three

“I see you’re taking care of my girls.”  Max’s voice on the other end of the line was affectionate, albeit tired.

Nate laughed lightly.  “Well, yeah, sort of.”

“No sort of to it, from what I see in the pictures Liz emailed to me,” Max teased.  “That’s a pretty happy-looking baby there.  What did you do to her?”

“Nothing,” Nate answered casually.  “Just fed her.  And burped her.  Holy cow that kid can burp!”

Max laughed, but there was something missing from the sound, making it ring hollow.

Nate’s smile slid away.  “Look, Max, I’ll do whatever I can to help Liz out.  Don’t worry about that.”

Max sighed.  “But I do worry, Nate.  Liz is my wife.  Emily is my daughter.  You’re my son.  It’s my responsibility to be there for the ones I love.  And right now I…just can’t be.”

For the first time since Nate had met Max, he heard defeat in his tone.  Usually, Max was optimistic, willing to look at the bright side and count his blessings.  But not this day.  Today he was almost sullen.

“Max, is everything okay?” Nate asked cautiously.

“Fine.”  It was an automatic answer, falsely chipper.

Nate’s brow furrowed.  “Are you sure?”

“Yep.  I’m sure.  So how’s the apartment?  All moved in?”

Nate didn’t miss the none-too-subtle switching of topics, but he had the feeling that Max needed someone to cut him a break and decided not to press him on it.  “Apartment’s looking pretty good.  Isabel has been such a sweetheart, Max.”

There was a more-sincere laugh on the other end of the line.  “She can be when she wants to be, Nate.  Is Alyssa there yet?”

“I pick her up this afternoon.”  Nate couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice.

“Well, I’ll be sure not to call for the next couple of days then.”  Nate could practically see that knowing smirk on his father’s face.

“There’s no need for that, I mean…”  His cheeks immediately burned red.

Max laughed lightly.  “Yeah, I know what you mean.  Kid, I was your age once, remember?”

Nate looked at his shoe, kicked at the edge of the rug he’d placed before the couch.  “Yeah, I know.”

“Just one question.”

“Yes, we’re using birth control.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, like Nate had taken Max off guard.  “That’s good, Nate.  But that’s not what I was going to ask you.”

“Oh.”

“I just wanted to know if Alyssa’s father is aware of the living arrangements.”

Nate bit his lip.  In truth, he didn’t know the answer to that one.  “Well, he knows that I’m in Boston .  And that Alyssa is in Boston …”

“But you didn’t tell him you’d be in the exact same place in Boston ?”  Now Nate imagined Max’s eyebrows raised into an inverted-V.

“Alyssa was supposed to tell him.”

Another brief silence, then Max burst out laughing.  “Oh, my!  Best of luck to you, junior.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that if Alyssa is really on a plane heading for Massachusetts , then she did not tell Michael where she’s staying.  Or she did and neglected to tell him she had a room mate.”

Nate frowned.  He didn’t like Max questioning Alyssa’s actions.  “I’m sure she did.”

“Nuh huh,” Max laughed.  “I’ve known Michael for a very long time, Nate – over thirty years.  If he knew, I’d know.  And he hasn’t said a peep.  Just be careful about how he finds out.  You really don’t want that to be a surprise.”

Nate shrugged to himself.  He wasn’t worried about Michael Guerin – at least not while they were on opposite sides of the country.

“I gotta get running,” Max announced, the momentary mirth gone from his voice.  It made Nate’s stomach twist.

“Max, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Nate.  Good luck with school, if I don’t talk to you before then.  And thanks for looking in on my girls.  I really appreciate it.”

“Not a problem.”

They said goodbye, then Nate sat staring at the rug before the couch.  There was something amiss in Max’s general demeanor.  Maybe it was just the trauma of being separated from his baby for the first time.  Whatever it was, it made Nate uncomfortable.  He wished he knew where Max was, but some questions – especially over a phone line – were taboo. 

A glance at the clock revealed that Alyssa’s plane would be touching down in and hour and a half.  Nate jumped up from the couch and began to tidy up the apartment – he didn’t want her to walk in on a pig sty her first time there.  Jeremy had left an empty Doritos bag on the coffee table and there was a dirty pair of Nate’s socks by the bathroom door.  He disposed of both items, then quickly smoothed out the bed, couldn’t keep the grin from his lips.  It was time he and Alyssa Christened that bed properly. 

In the kitchen, he rinsed out his cereal bowl from breakfast and made sure the flowers he’d bought and placed on the table had enough water.  With the house tidy, it was time to groom himself.  In the bathroom, he fixed his hair, straightened his clothes, then gave himself a nervous grin in the mirror.  It was time.

So excited was he that he nearly tripped down the stairs.  That would be great – he could imagine Alyssa standing patiently in an airport waiting for a ride while a doctor in some hospital somewhere set his broken leg.  The rush of adrenaline moved from fear to relief to flat out excitement.  She was so close now he could practically feel her.

Driving to Logan International Airport was a nightmare, especially at one o’clock in the afternoon on a Friday.  Nate sat forever at a myriad of Massachusetts toll booths, then sat another eternity in the tunnel that ran beneath the Atlantic Ocean and out to the airport.  The excitement in his veins quickly turned to anxiety as he realized Alyssa’s plane would land in fifteen minutes and he was still in his truck.  He’d had this whole scenario planned out in his head – he’d be waiting for her at the gate, smiling widely, perhaps holding flowers he’d yet to buy, then she’d come down the jetway looking a little lost and then she’d spy him and go running into his arms.  It was a scene right out of a cheesy Hollywood movie.  He was willing to accept the cheese.  If only he could get there before the plane landed.

That wasn’t going to be possible.  As Nate finally pulled his body out of his truck and broke into a run, Alyssa’s plane should have already landed.  He was suddenly thankful that he’d spent their time apart running as much as he had because sprinting through and airport took some effort.  He dodged people with ridiculous amounts of luggage, sidestepped a flight crew debating where to have dinner, hurdled a red velvet rope at the ticket counter.  All the while, he checked the monitors to see what gate she’d be at, if her flight had arrived.

It had.

Nate pounded up the escalator, running on steps that were already moving.  He raced down the concourse as a throng of people passed him going the other way – sure sign of a DC-10 spilling its load.  Disappointment surged through his veins as he looked at their happy faces.  He knew that he’d robbed Alyssa of the same chance to be so happy – at this point she had to think he’d stood her up.

But when he finally spotted her, he saw that she didn’t look disappointed or even worried.  He saw her before she saw him and in those few seconds, he got to study her without her knowing she was being observed.  She had on that white tank top she’d been wearing the first time she’d kissed him and a short olive green skirt.  Her long hair hung loose around her shoulders, shining like spun gold as she slowly looked around for him.  Her hands were clasped before her, clutching a tiny white summer purse.  Nate’s breath caught in his chest – not a good thing to have happen considering the amount of running he’d been doing – and his heart gave one hard thump before beating a little faster.

She was really here.

As he started to jog toward her, she turned her head in his direction, her eyes met his without recognition, then a moment later she was running straight for him, squealing like a school girl.  Nate broke into a wide grin and threw his arms out for her; she jumped into them, their bodies colliding with an unexpected force.

“Oh my God!” she screamed as she squeezed him tightly.  “I missed you so much!”

Nate laughed and nodded, out of breath and sweaty.  This wasn’t how he wanted their meeting to be.  There was nothing romantic about sweating line a linebacker.

Not that Alyssa seemed to care.  She pressed her lips tightly to his and he wanted to kiss her good and hard – until he remembered Michael’s warning about respecting her in public.  So he pulled back gently, smiling at her so that she wouldn’t feel rejected, and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Let’s get your bags and get out of here,” he said. So they could go home and he could welcome her to Boston properly.

She chatted all of the way to the baggage claim, talking about her journey and the lunatic newspaper writer who had sat beside her.  Of course, the unspoken irony there was that that reporter had a world changing story sitting right beside him and had never known it.  That fact didn’t seem to have bothered Alyssa, while Nate wondered if he’d have been as calm and collected in the same situation.

They got stuck in traffic again, but neither of them cared.  Nate had his arm around her shoulder and was stroking her skin with his thumb; he remembered oh so well how soft her beautiful skin was.  Every now and then Alyssa would lay a kiss against his cheek or his ear, which was only increasing a steady buzz of excitement in his veins.  If she kept it up, he wasn’t sure they’d make it to the loft.

“Aunt Isabel wants us to have dinner with them tonight,” he told her, trying to ignore the slight tension he was feeling in his jeans.

“Oh, great!” Alyssa squealed.  “I haven’t seen the boys in so long!”

Nate thought of the freaky twins and mused that he had only seen them twice since he’d been in Boston – and that had been enough.  Jeremy, on the other hand, seemed to always be underfoot.  He started to tell her about that, but her hand landed on his thigh and he couldn’t really remember clearly who Jeremy was…

At the Ramirez estate, Nate pulled the truck to a stop beside the garage, then hopped out and pulled her bags from the back.  As she got out of the vehicle, her mini skirt showed just a hint of white lace beneath and he found he had only one thing on his mind.  Screw dinner.  Screw the bags.  Nothing mattered at this point.  Alyssa looked over her shoulder, innocent and worldly all at once and he dropped the bags to the gravel.

Rounding the truck, he took her by the arm, stepped into the loft’s stairwell then grabbed her around the waist, kissing her mercilessly.  She let out a startled squeak, then fell into him, her tanned arms wrapping around his neck.  Undeniable need rose quickly within him and he knew they’d never make it up the stairs and to the bed.  Gently, he pushed her back onto the steps, reached beneath her skirt and pulled down her panties.

Alyssa’s dark eyes were round as she watched him.  Her hand trembling, she lifted it toward the door and it swung shut, the tumblers in the lock clicking into place.  Then she reached for his zipper, jerked it down and reached in to release him from his pants.  He groaned, then pulled both her shirt and bra aside to expose her breast.  She let out a ragged gasp as he took her roughly into his mouth.

A few seconds later, they were joined, enjoying their first quickie.  Nate noticed that every time he thrust, the top of her head banged into the facing of one of the steps.  He curved his fingers over her hair, letting the back of his hand take the abuse instead.  They were both breathing hard, the months of pent-up need bubbling to the surface.

“Oh – God – Nate,” Alyssa breathed, her staccato words punctuating each of his movements.  “I - missed - you - so - much.”

“Me too,” he gasped, straining to maintain control.  “I can’t wait.”

She shook her head.  “Me neither.”

Within a few seconds, they both came, Alyssa crying out, Nate simply shuddering a sigh.  He collapsed on top of her, smiling stupidly in the afterglow.  After a few long moments of rest, he lifted his head and grinned at her, kissed her tenderly.  His eyes drifted to her perfect breast, which now had teeth marks around the nipple.  Guilt ripped through him.

“Oh, God,” he said remorsefully, touching the marks with his fingertips.  “I hurt you.  I’m so sorry, Alyssa.”  He met her eyes, his full of pain.

But she was smiling.  “I liked it.”

His eyebrows shot up.

“I liked the way it felt,” she said, touching his face.  “It didn’t hurt.”  She kissed him tenderly, then slowly pushed him up.  “How about showing me where I live now?”

Part Four

After retrieving Alyssa’s bags from the driveway, Nate found her panties lying in at the bottom of the stairs.  Grinning bashfully, he picked them up and gave her a smirk as she waited for him about halfway up.  As he met her, he put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick kiss on the side of the head.

“I love you,” he said against her ear, causing her to giggle against him.

Together, they climbed the steps, both of them lost in what had just occurred, overwhelmed by the fact that they were now finally together.  The future had so many possibilities for them, there was nothing they couldn’t do.  As long as they were by each other’s side.

At the top of the steps, they both pulled up short.  Sitting on the couch with a shit-eating grin on his face was young Jeremy Ramirez.  A warm sensation crawled across Nate’s skin.  Surely Jeremy hadn’t heard them…had he?  Nate glanced at Alyssa, her blond hair mussed, her expression one of someone just caught shoplifting.  Of course he’d heard them – who wouldn’t have heard them banging away on a wooden staircase.

Not to mention the fact that Nate was holding a pair of very feminine underwear in his hand.  Clearing his throat, he quickly shoved them into the pocket of his jeans.

“What are you doing here?” he asked Jeremy, trying not to bark at the kid.  After all, he’d been coming and going as he pleased since Nate had moved in – how was he to know that was now unacceptable?

Jeremy smirked, the tables turned a full one hundred and eight degrees since Nate and his mother had found him up here with Mandy so many months ago.  “Getting a free show, apparently.”

Alyssa gasped in indignation.  “You watched us?!”

Jeremy laughed, victorious.  “No, but I sure heard a lot.”

Nate was embarrassed since it was out of his character to be immodest about his sexuality.  Alyssa, however, looked ready to pull Jeremy’s head from his shoulders.  Nate dropped her bags and walked over to the couch, took the boy by the arm and pulled him to his feet.

“Okay, I think the free pass has run out,” he said without malice, ushering his cousin to the top of the steps.  “I’d like it if you’d warn me before you come over.”

Jeremy laughed and wrenched himself free.  “Okay, okay.  Not a problem, man.  Just remember what you told me.”

“What’s that?”

“Dude, you gotta be more careful than that.”  Jeremy cocked his head playfully.

Nate reddened.  He had said that.  There was no end in sight of the amount of comeuppance that was coming his way.  “Good bye, Jeremy.”

“Oh, wait!” the boy said as he stopped at the top of the steps.  “I did come over for a reason.”

“What?”

“Mom wanted me to tell you than dinner would be ready in an hour.”

Nate nodded.  “Okay, thanks.”  He watched as Jeremy descended the stairs and closed the door behind him.  Then he turned to Alyssa, shoved his hands in his pockets and felt the soft fabric of her panties.  “Sorry about that.”

Some of the redness had left her face and neck, but she still looked peeved.  “He can’t just come and go as he pleases, Nate.”

He nodded.  “I know.  He understands.”

She almost looked like she was going to cry, so he crossed the floor and took her by the arms. 

“What’s wrong, love?”

She shrugged and looked away from him.  “I just want to be with you so much,” she confessed.  “When I agreed to move in here, I didn’t think about that.  I didn’t think about Aunt Isabel’s mutant kids being underfoot all of the time.”

Nate laughed lightly.  He’d gotten to know Jeremy pretty well over the summer and wouldn’t necessarily classify him as a mutant.  Horndog, yes.  Mutant, no.  The jury was still out on the twins, however…

“He’s not so bad,” he assured her.

“You haven’t known him all of your life,” she pouted.

She was right – he hadn’t.  She had a pre-existing opinion of him and he did not.  Maybe the Jeremy he knew was not the same Jeremy she’d formed an opinion of over all of those years.

“It will be fine,” he said, rubbing her arms. Then he gestured around them.  “Look.  This is where you live now.”

Alyssa’s dark eyes scanned the loft and he could see her dark mood lighten a bit.

“I know it’s not much,” he said.  “I know it’s only one big room, but I kind of like it.  There’s a kitchen over there.  And the bathroom is back behind that wall.  That’s the bed, of course.”

She looked into his eyes and they were both smiling.  Their bed.  Their first bed.

“We have an hour,” he said, lifting her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.  “What do you want to do?  Do you want to relax from your flight or…”

Alyssa put her arms around him and kissed him lightly on the lips.  “Or.”

Jason and Justin were still freaky.

Nate had spent most of his month in Boston avoiding them, which wasn’t difficult considering they spent most of their time in front of the TV.  Now, however, they were staring at him from across the table, their expressions and features identical.  Nate was reminded of two cats, unblinkingly watching their prey.

Isabel was wearing a path between the kitchen and the dining room, carrying serving trays of food – enough to feed a small army.  Jesse was once again in the wine cellar picking out the perfect vintage, having found people to share wine with him again.

“Aunt Isabel, let me help,” Alyssa said on one of her aunt’s passes.

“I got it,” Isabel replied, Covergirl smile firmly in place.  Nate got the impression that this was a big deal for her, to be able to cater to those she loved.

“Really, it’s no bother,” Alyssa fretted.

“You’re my guest,” Isabel said as she retreated to the kitchen again.  Then she called over her shoulder.  “At least for tonight.”

Nate glanced at Alyssa lovingly, memories of their not-so-distant encounter still in his head.  They’d almost been late for this dinner because they’d taken their time loving one another, just kissing and touching and finally giving in to their desires.  There had barely been time for a quick shower.

He glanced across the table and found Frick and Frack staring back at him, then looked at Jeremy, who was smirking.  It appeared there was no comfortable place to look other than at Alyssa.  Which was fine with him.  Though the empty chair beside Jeremy was puzzling.

“What grade are you guys in now?” Alyssa asked the twins.

In unison, they turned to look at her and both of them said, “Ninth” in perfect stereo.  Then they turned back to Nate in flawless synchronization and continued to stare at him.

Alyssa looked at him apologetically.  Mutants.

“I have the perfect wine,” Jesse announced proudly as he stopped at the end of the table, wiping the dust from the bottle he held in his hand.  He was grinning, obviously happy with himself.  “Alyssa, you’ll have wine?”

Alyssa was still only seventeen.  She was underage.  But then again, so was Nate.

“I’ve never had wine,” she admitted with a sheepish grin.

Jesse only smiled back.  “Then you’ll have your first glass with us tonight.”  He retreated to the kitchen to get a cork screw and nearly flattened Isabel as she came through with a cauldron full of something.

Nate’s eyes grew round.  When were the hungry masses going to show up?

As soon as he had the thought, the doorbell rang, not a cheap bell bought at Home Depot but a rich, hardy chime that belonged only in a house of this grandeur.  Isabel grinned.

“Excellent,” she said as she left the room wiping her hands on a dish towel she’d had over her shoulder.

Nate glanced at the staring duo, then at the smirking cousin, and finally back to his pretty girlfriend.  Alyssa smiled softly, demure and coquettish all in the same package.  She was a paradox on just about every level, he was discovering.  Brash and yet easily embarrassed.  Loud and yet polite.  Tough as nails and yet sensitive.  Experienced and yet still naïve.  He loved that about her, that so many conflicting qualities could coexist peacefully within her.

“Look who I found,” Isabel announced from the doorway.

The group turned in her direction and found Liz Evans there, looking a little more rested than the last time Nate had seen her, a baby carrier in one hand.  Nate and Jeremy both broke into a grin and Alyssa immediately jumped to her feet to greet her Aunt and the baby she’d yet to see in person.  The twins simply stared impassively.

“Aunt Liz!” Alyssa cried, throwing her arms around the woman so violently that she almost hit the floor.

“Hi, honey,” Liz laughed, the baby carrier swinging in her hand.

Alyssa pulled back and looked down into the carrier.  Her face broke into a mask of wonder as she beheld Emily, who was sleeping silently.  “Oh, Aunt Liz…” she breathed.  “She’s just beautiful.”

Nate rose and walked over to them, put a hand on the small of Alyssa’s back as she looked down at the baby.  Leaning in, he kissed Liz on the cheek.

“Hi, Liz,” he said, smiling gently at her.

“Hi, Nate,” she replied, returning his affection.  There seemed to be a tender spot for him in her eyes, something Nate had never expected to see there.

He turned to Alyssa and found her eyes a little misty as she looked at the baby without touching her.  He could tell she was just itching to pull that kid out of the carrier and hold her, but dinner was ready and Emily was tired and Alyssa would just have to wait.

The group took their seats, Liz placing Emily’s carrier on the floor beside her chair where she could watch her.  Under the table, Nate took Alyssa’s hand and squeezed it.  Somehow he knew that someday, they were going to have a child of their own.  He didn’t know when, he didn’t think it would be soon, but somehow he knew it as well as he knew the sun would rise over Boston Harbor the next morning.

Jesse poured glasses of wine for those who were legal and some who weren’t, then raised his glass in a toast.

“To family,” he said.

Around the table, glasses raised and a collective echo of “To family” resounded before they each took a sip.

Conversation over dinner was light, with talk of the start of school – both high school and college – and of Alyssa’s trip across the country that morning.  Liz spoke of motherhood and the fact that she was taking a sabbatical - there would be no beginning of the school year this term for Professor Evans.  That fact made Nate a little sad, then he tried to tell himself that maybe Liz thought this was best, maybe she knew that Emily needed at least one constant parent in her life at this young age.

After dessert, Isabel’s boys scattered and Jesse, somewhat tipsy, volunteered to do all of the clean up for his wife.  Nate smile at his offer – he got the impression that Councilor Ramirez worshipped the ground his Antarian wife walked on.  But at least he did so without a sense of being whipped.

Isabel, Liz, Alyssa and Nate retired to the living room, where little Emily finally stirred, blinking sleep from her dark eyes and laughing at her mother as soon as she was awake.  Two minutes later, Alyssa had the baby in her lap and Nate knew that Liz was going to need a crowbar to pry the child away when it was time to leave.

“How’s my brother?” Isabel asked, sitting back on the couch.

Nate pretended like he was playing with Emily, but really he was listening for Liz’s response, which came slowly.

“Okay,” she finally said, her tone that of someone who has settled on a “safe” word.

Nate chanced a glance at Isabel and caught her wary expression.  He couldn’t see Liz’s face as she was turned away from him, but he didn’t like what he saw on his aunt’s face.  Coupling that with Max’s unusual demeanor that morning, Nate got the sinking feeling something was definitely amiss.

“She’s got Aunt Liz’s eyes,” Alyssa said, distracting Nate from the conversation.

“She does,” he agreed, taking Emily’s little hand in his.

“But Uncle Max’s long eyelashes,” she mused.

Nate blinked.  “Alyssa, do you think all things considered, it’s appropriate for you to still be calling him uncle?”

She looked at him in surprise, then looked a little sheepish and giggled.  “What do you want me to call him?  I’ve called him that all of my life.”

Inside, Nate knew what she should call him – Dad, in the father-in-law sense.  But it was too soon to bring that up.  So he resorted to grinning at her.  Alyssa leaned in and kissed him chastely on the lips.

“I want one of these someday,” she said so only he could hear.

He grinned a little wider.  He knew in his heart that she would get her wish.

“I want one with my eyes and your eyelashes.”  She touched his face, her thumb brushing over his lashes, which he’d also inherited from Max.

Bizarre, that – both of Max’s children had received his eyelashes and their mother’s eyes.  Nate snorted a laugh at the thought.

“What?” Alyssa asked.

He shook his head.  “Nothing.  I want a baby someday, too.”  He continued to play with Emily while trying to catch the conversation on the other side of the room.

He was certain he’d be a father one day.  He just hoped that fate would deal him a better hand and he wouldn’t be absent from his children’s lives like Max was.

Part Five

“I dreamed this.”

Nate blinked slowly, trying to get his bearings and decipher the words that had drifted into his brain.  Sunlight was just barely beginning to peak through the curtains above their bed.  Alyssa was lying against him, her cheek over one side of his chest, her long fingers curled around the other.

“Hmm?” he mumbled, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath.  Morning was such a difficult time for him, full of confusion and a deep desire to retreat into sleep.

“This, us,” she said against his skin, her soft breath wafting across his body as she spoke.  “I dreamed we’d be together.  From the moment I first kissed you, I knew.  Someday this was going to happen.  And now it has.”  He could feel her smile against him.

Sleep chased into the corners of his mind, Nate squinted at the ceiling as his brow furrowed.  Alyssa’s words made it seem more like she had foreseen their union rather than hoped for it.  Could she see the future?

“What else have you seen?” he asked, tightening his arm around her.  He looked down at the top of her head when she didn’t respond immediately.

“I don’t want to tell you,” she confessed softly.

That old familiar twisting returned to Nate’s stomach.  “Why not?” he asked carefully.

“Because I’m afraid it will make you sad.”  Her tone had slipped from elation to somber in a heartbeat.

Nate smoothed her back with his flat palm.  “No secrets between us, remember?” he reminded her gently.  “You can tell me things, even if you think they will hurt me.”

She lifted her head, her hair adorably mussed from her slumber, her eyes apologetic.  “You will be king, Nate.”

He worked his mouth.  “Someday.”

She watched him for a long moment, then nodded.  “Someday.”  She laid her head down on his chest again, her fingers sliding over his pectoral.  “You’re beefier than the last time I saw you,” she said with a giggle, ungracefully changing the subject.

Nate looked down as she slid her fingers down his abdomen, which was just starting to show the first signs of a visible six pack.

“You’re going to be as hot as Uncle Max someday,” she laughed.

Nate frowned, not sure he liked his girlfriend comparing him to his father, whom she addressed as “uncle.”  Oy, what a mess. 

But he hadn’t forgotten her words, nor the silence that had followed his agreement that someday he’d be king.  He had seen it in her eyes, something telling him that someday wasn’t just some arbitrary future date.  Maybe someday was closer than he thought.  And Nate didn’t want to think about that.

Alyssa seemed to realize that as she turned her head and kissed his nipple, immediately shoving any last remnants of sleep and thoughts of ascending a throne from his body.  For a woman, she sure seemed obsessed with that particular part of his anatomy.  Nate had known guys who were breast obsessed – hell, he was one of them – but to find such a fascination in a girl was odd to him.  Not that he minded.

“It’s our first morning together,” she said, sliding to the side and pulling her with him, so that they were facing one another.

Nate nodded dumbly, the fact that she’d left one leg tossed over his hip not lost on him.

“I think we should celebrate,” she said softly, leaning in to kiss him, hooking her foot behind his knee to draw him closer to her. 

Nate groaned deep in his throat.  Alyssa had been in town less than twenty four hours and this was the fourth time they were going to make love.  At this rate, she was going to kill him and someone else was going to have to take that throne.

In the next few weeks, Nate showed Alyssa around Boston College and they prepared for their first year of school.  They stood in an unbelievably long line at the book store – Alyssa’s impatience soothed by Nate’s never-ending patience – and found that they even had a few basic classes together, like English Composition and everyone’s favorite elective, bowling.  While in line to buy their books, Nate saw a sign that the store needed student help and filled out the application while waiting, scribbling against Alyssa’s back while they shuffled forward toward the register.  It was true that Isabel wouldn’t accept rent and Liz and Max were footing Nate’s tuition, but they still needed some income to live on.

Alyssa applied at a coffee house near the Ramirez estate, figuring that pouring coffee had to be easier than hoisting large trays at the CrashDown – and that the residents of Cape Cod would tip better as well.

The group started their rotation of helping Liz out, regardless of her protests.  Nate understood that she wanted so desperately to be an independent person, to do everything on her own, but it was simply draining her.  What good would she be to her daughter like that?  Sometimes, he would stop over before classes or Alyssa would stop over in the middle of the day or Jeremy would run over to the Evans home after he got home from school.  Isabel even took a turn, bundling up baby Emily and taking her to the dress shop, giving Liz and entirely free day to do whatever she needed.  They didn’t visit her every day because they didn’t want to take over completely and by the end of the second week, she was starting to get used to it.

Nate phoned home to New York frequently, was glad to find out that the summer rush had ended once Labor Day came and went.  His parents sounded in good spirits, happy that their son had been given such a great opportunity to go to school.  Emma expressed how she was looking forward to seeing him at Thanksgiving and he felt a pang of homesickness at the thought.  Sure, he loved Alyssa and the Ramirezes had been more than accommodating – but the Spencers would always be home to him.

Michael Guerin had yet to find out his baby girl was shacking up.

About three weeks into school, when things were just starting to settle down and life was falling into a comfortable rhythm, Nate began to feel like his skin was crawling.  Not physically, but mentally.  Every so often the hairs on his neck would stand up for no reason.  A feeling of dread would pass through his gut, then disappear as fast as it came.  He said nothing to Alyssa of the strange occurrences as he didn’t want to spoil her happy mood.

And happy she was.  Living together proved to be much different than lusting over one another long distance.  In truth, Nate had steeled himself for the worst – it was common for people to move in together and find out they hated one another.  He was grateful to find that wasn’t the case with him and Alyssa.

Living together proved to Nate how little they really knew about one another.  Every day he learned something knew.  She hated mayonnaise.  She loved ‘80’s rock, much to her mother’s chagrin.  Like him, she was often an insomniac, huddled up on the couch, blearily watching TV with the sound off trying not to disturb him – not an easy thing in a one-room loft.  But for all of the things they didn’t know, new revelations never told him that what they were doing was wrong.  Not once did he find out something about her and find that whatever it was would break them apart.

Because he knew, in his heart, that this was the best thing that ever happened to him.  Without her, he would stop breathing.  To his amazement, she’d spoken almost those exact words to him one night.  He’d been doing his homework at the coffee table and she’d been at the other end staring at him the whole time.  When he’d glanced her way with a smile, she’d simply said, “It’s like I was never really alive before I met you.  It’s like I can’t breathe without you.”

Their love was that intense.  All the time.  Not that they were serious all the time.  But under all of the fun and laughter, they were simply inseparable.  Losing Annie had hurt.  Losing Alyssa would devastate him.

One evening as Nate was finishing his shift at the bookstore, he realized that he was going home to an empty apartment – Alyssa was taking a night class and Jeremy was doing his duty at Liz’s house.  Nate’s subconscious was aching again, that little tugging at his senses that he didn’t quite understand, a feeling of unrest.  Impending doom?  Whatever it was, he didn’t feel like sitting alone on his couch and entertaining his paranoia.  Maybe it was time he paid a little “rent”, to thank Isabel in some way.

On his drive home, he stopped at a Chinese carryout that he and Alyssa had become fond of and ordered enough food for himself, Jesse, Isabel and the creepy twins.  He shuddered to think about spending time with them, but they were his cousins and they needed to eat, too.  One of these days he had the feeling he was just going to explode on them, demanding to know what the fuck their problem was.  Eerie little bastards.

Nate paid the store owner and took two large paper bags of food to his truck.  It was late September but the air was still balmy.  The Red Sox were headed for the playoffs again and all of Boston was abuzz with speculation of a repeat of the 2004 championship.  As he drove toward Cape Cod , Nate listened to a radio sports show, with callers phoning in to give their predictions of how the playoffs would play out.  Some of them were crackpots, enough to make Nate laugh and forget for a moment about the tugging at the back of his brain.

By the time he got home, the sun had started to dip over the horizon, the onset of winter not far away.  He pushed his truck into park and turned it off, left the bags of food on the seat while he went upstairs to check messages on the answering machine.  Acting like two people who had something to hide, he and Alyssa had never recorded a message for the machine, so any caller simply got the beep and that was it.  It was childish, but it was easier than suffering the wrath of Guerin at hearing both their names and voices on the recording.  Alyssa wanted to tell her father the truth about them – just in a more gentle way than that.

Nate pushed the message button and waited while the tape rewound.  The first three calls were hang ups.  His brow furrowed.  That was bizarre.  The next call was from Alyssa.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said, her voice hushed and Nate imagined her huddling over a phone in a crowded hallway at school.  He grinned.  “I love you, pooh bear,” she cooed, making him laugh.  “When I get home, I’m going to give you what pooh bears love.  Lots and lots of honey.”

With that, she hung up, leaving Nate wide-eyed and open-jawed.  There was no end in sight to her sexual appetite.  Couple that with the boob fetish and she was a rare female indeed.  Nate wondered if it was a hybrid quality, if other female hybrids were so insatiable…

There were five more dropped calls on the machine.  Nate looked at the device in confusion as it rewound and reset itself.  Eight?  Eight hang ups?  That was a few too many to be someone with a wrong number – unless the person was ADD and had an obsessive compulsive disorder.  He reached over and pushed the caller button on the caller ID box.  A payphone – Alyssa’s call – and eight undetermined.  The hairs on the back of Nate’s neck stood up again.

Shaking away his anxiety and remembering he had food to deliver, he descended the steps and walked across the drive to the big house.  He found the door ajar, which was unusual.  Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Isabel’s little sports car in the garage and knew that she must be home.  He pushed open the door, then shut it behind himself.

“Aunt Isabel?” he called from the foyer.  When he heard no response, worry started flowing through his veins.  Something wasn’t right here.

Nate moved from room to room, peeking in to see if anyone was around.  At this point, he would even be happy to see one – or both – of the mutant twins.

“Aunt Isabel?” he called again.  Nothing.

He quickened his pace.  No twins.  No Jesse.  But he found Isabel in the kitchen.

She was leaning over the skin, the posture of someone about to vomit.  Her golden hair had fallen in a curtain over her shoulder, so he couldn’t see her face.  Inside of his chest, his heart started to thump a little more noticeably; the bags in his hands suddenly weighed a thousand pounds apiece.

“Aunt Isabel?” he said softly, his throat suddenly dry.

Isabel looked up, like she hadn’t heard him calling her the previous two times.  Her pretty face was twisted and wet, her nose red from her tears.  Quickly, she brushed her fingers under her eyes.

“Oh, Nate,” she said, swallowing hard.  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Nate slowly set the bags on the counter.  “Are you okay?”  His palms had gone sweaty.  Obviously she was not okay.

Isabel met his gaze for a long moment, then bit both of her lips.  She seemed to be squirming, like she needed to say something and just couldn’t.  Nate crossed over to her and put his hands on her upper arms, trying to comfort her.

“What happened?” he asked softly.  Was it Jesse?  The freaky sons?  Someone hurt?  Dead?

Her dark eyes darted away and she blew out a sigh.  “I don’t know how to tell you this, Nate, but I know someone has to.”

Nate’s heart jerked and pounded so hard he felt like he might black out.  It wasn’t anything to do with the twins or Jesse – it was something to do with him.

“God, I’ve told him for years not to go alone, but he would never listen to me,” Isabel rambled.  “Take protection, get a body guard.  But he wouldn’t do it.”

Nate wanted to push her out of the way in case he needed to throw up in the sink.  He also wanted to slap her out of her rambling.  Instead, he rubbed her arms.  “What happened, Aunt Isabel?”  How was it that his words could come out so calmly when his whole body was starting to shake?

Isabel met his gaze, dark eyes on blue ones.  A tear glimmered in her eyes, but she didn’t fall to pieces again.  She was a strong woman, an ass-kicker of FBI men – when she had bad news to deliver, she would do it in a mature, pulled-together way.  Once her words were delivered, however, she would fall into tears, not wanting to believe it herself.  She drew in a deep breath and gave Nate news he had never wanted to hear.

“I’m so sorry, Nate.  Max is missing.”

Part Six

Missing.

Nate sat at the edge of the couch in his loft, elbows on knees, hands clasped together, eyes fixed on the floor.  He felt oddly numb inside, like he couldn’t possibly have heard his aunt correctly.  The more he rolled the word over in his head, the less he comprehended it.  It was a word that had been part of his vocabulary for as long as he could remember, now he couldn’t fathom what it meant.

Missing.

He’d lost socks before.  He understood missing in terms of footwear.  He’d lost his baby teeth.  He certainly understood the meaning of that, considering the number of times he’d shot water out of the hole in the front of his mouth.  But missing didn’t seem like it should apply to a person.  How do you misplace a person?

Nate tried to imagine where Max might be.  Max didn’t see himself as missing.  Max knew exactly where he was.  It was only to the outside world that he’d been misplaced.  So, maybe missing was a relative term.

It didn’t matter.  Nate knew in the end that Max wasn’t where he was supposed to be and that was not a good thing.  Nate swallowed and worked his hands together.  Suddenly all of the creepy, crawling feelings he’d been experiencing made sense.  Maybe on some level he’d managed to experience some of what Max was feeling – but that was hardly a comforting thought, considering Nate had been having the willies for several days now.

How long ago had Max actually “disappeared”?  When was the last time anyone had spoken to him?  Better yet – how did anyone even know he was missing?  Nate had tried to ask those questions of Isabel, but she’d been a little distracted and hadn’t given him very satisfactory answers.  Jesse had returned from his office not long after Nate’s arrival and Nate had felt like a fifth wheel, retreating to the deafening silence of his loft.

Alyssa.  Nate felt a pang inside.  She probably didn’t know of the recent events – if she did, Nate knew that she’d have come home as fast as she could.  Glancing at the clock, he saw that her classes weren’t over for another two hours.  He imagined her sitting in lab, blissfully unaware that her favorite uncle was “missing.”  God, she was going to be crushed…

Liz.  Nate closed his eyes as though he could feel her pain inside of his body.  What must she be going through right now?  Had she gone through this before?  Well, at least Jeremy was there with her.

Nate popped his eyes open.  Jeremy had the grace of a pelican on walking sticks when it came to emotional matters.  Suddenly Nate felt the urge, the need, to be with Liz.  Without thinking about it twice, he grabbed a light jacket and raced down the steps to his truck.  He hopped behind the wheel and headed for Max and Liz’s home, sort of relieved to have something to do with himself – sitting alone in that loft was driving him mad.  Of course, he needed to be home when Alyssa got there – he wouldn’t let her come home to an empty apartment with the cloud of doom that was hanging over Cape Cod .  She would know as soon as she walked up the drive that something was wrong.  Maybe he’d pick her up from school, save her the train ride.

The sky was turning dark as Nate got off on Liz’s exit.  For one brief moment, he felt a flash of hope – maybe Max had just lost his cell phone.  Maybe it was that simple.  After all, he was paranoid of using regular phones or pay phones or anything that could be traced.  Nate grinned.

Then he frowned.  Max wasn’t afraid of using the internet.  If he’d lost his cell, he certainly would have emailed someone and said so.  Nate’s hope plummeted to his ankles, the void filled with a sense of dread.  It hadn’t been so long ago that Nate had been “missing”, left to either starve to death or die from his torturous treatment at the hands of the FBI.  Unwanted images of Max in the white room, an archaic video tape played over and over by Agent O’Donnell for Nate’s enjoyment, crowded into Nate’s brain.  He shuddered, his blood suddenly running cold.  Oh, God – please let Max not be somewhere like that.

Nate’s headlights shined in a wide arc across the front of the house as he pulled into the driveway at the Evans’ home.  Jeremy’s Jeep was parked on the street, looking lost and out of place since Nate was used to seeing it in one of the many garage bays at the Ramirez estate.  He turned off the truck and hopped out, his feet full of lead as he moved for the door.

Jeremy met him there, his dark eyes wide and very childlike.  It wasn’t until that moment that Nate fully realized how young Jeremy really was.  Did the kid even need to shave yet?  He seemed but a babe, thrust into a world that was much bigger than he.

“Hey,” Nate said, lifting his chin in his cousin’s direction.  “Is she here?”

Jeremy nodded and stepped aside to let Nate in.  Liz was in the rocker, stoically rocking her baby to sleep.  Nate could see the traces of tears in her pretty eyes, but she seemed to have an aura of acceptance about her, like she had known this day would come eventually.

“Liz,” Nate said softly and she lifted her head to look at him.  “You okay?”

She nodded, then buried her nose into Emily’s wispy hair.  Nate sank slowly to the couch, close enough to touch her if he needed to.

“Um,” Jeremy said, still at the door and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  “Can I go?”

Nate looked up and nodded.  “Be careful,” he called as the anxious teen bounded out of the door.  The last thing they needed was for Jeremy to become splatter on I-95 because he was too wound up to be driving.  Nate watched him pull away, then he put a hand on Liz’s arm. 

“I’m okay, Nate,” she reassured, her voice strong, not choked like he’d expected.  Then she stopped rocking and looked at him in surprise.  “Are you okay?”

Was he?  Nate searched his soul and found a large wad of worry there, of anxiety.  He’d known Max Evans for less than a year – why was he so upset about his disappearance?  Since Max had come into his life, Nate had been tortured by the FBI – albeit of his own doing, had developed glowing birthmarks, had found the need to lie to the ones he loved and had been on the receiving end of some pretty disturbing nightmares.

Then again, since Nate had met Max, he’d fallen in love with the girl he’d intended to spend the rest of his life with, he’d met people he truly cared about, and he’d gained a baby sister.  All of those things were enough to outweigh the bad.  Nate was very fond of Max, this person who was neither a father figure nor a big brother but somewhere in the middle.

Nate shook his head.  No, he wasn’t okay.  And it was okay to admit it.

Liz worked her mouth and gently started the rocker again.  She patted Emily’s little back with her hand as she soothed her to sleep.  Nate looked at the baby, who was fighting a losing battle with her eyelids and wondered if she could sense the discord around her.

“Max is smart,” Liz finally said, her eyes fixed on the dark television screen.  “He’s been doing this for a long time.  He knows how to take care of himself.”

Nate understood that, so what had changed to have this fate befall him?  “Liz?”

She met his gaze, hers damp but strong at the same time.

“How do you know he’s missing?”

“Max has a series of checkpoints,” she explained softly.  “He needs to check in at certain intervals, with a rotating, random list of people.  If he misses one checkpoint, he gets two more chances.  If he misses three…”

Liz’s words drifted off and Nate felt like someone had reached down his throat, grabbed his stomach and twisted it into a ball.  Max had missed three checkpoints.  At certain intervals.  Nate wondered what the intervals were – hours, days, weeks? – but he didn’t want to upset Liz by asking her.  It was sufficient to know that Max had missed three of them.

“When was the last time you talked to him?” Liz asked, her gaze now fixed on the floor.

Nate reached back in his memory, trying to recall the last time Max had phoned.  Nate had been so busy, with school and a new job and Alyssa, that he’d sort of failed to notice Max’s absence.  Then again, Max had told him he wasn’t going to call so that Nate and Alyssa could settle in together.

“A month,” Nate told Liz apologetically.  “Right before Alyssa came to Boston .”  He frowned, ashamed that he hadn’t been more attentive.

But Liz didn’t seem to judge him as she continued to rock and think over the situation.

“How about you?” Nate asked.

“Two weeks ago,” Liz said quietly.  She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “I was his first checkpoint this time.  And his last.”

Nate felt another pang in his gut.  He could only imagine Liz’s worry when Max had missed the first contact time, then her all out agony when he missed the third one.  Poor Liz.

“What do we do?” Nate asked quietly, feeling more lost than he ever had – even more so than when he himself had been ‘missing.’  “I mean, has this ever happened before?”

Liz shook her head, a bittersweet smile coming to her lips.  “No.  Max is too responsible to miss a check in time.”

Which only made this situation seem all that much more serious.  Nate started to feel nauseous.

“We wait,” Liz finally answered.

Wait?  Hadn’t they waited through three points of contact already?  Wait for what?

“We wait for Michael to come here, and then we decide what to do.  As a group.  That’s the way it’s always been.”

Nate blanched.  Michael was coming to Boston ?

Liz lifted a half smile in his direction, as if she had read his mind.  “He’s already on a plane headed this way, Nate.”

Well, if that wasn’t the capper to Nate’s day…

“Let me put her down,” Nate offered, reaching for Emily and deftly changing the subject.

Liz agreed to the help and Nate slid his arms under Emily’s little body, carefully twisting her around so that she was cradled against his shoulder.  She whimpered softly and he stroked her back as he walked down the darkened hallway to her nursery.

After Nate put her in her crib, he stood in the dark and rubbed her back, soothing her to sleep.  He probably didn’t need to stand there as long as he did, but he had a lot on his mind and somehow caring for Emily was making him relax a bit.  He didn’t like the idea that Papa Guerin was coming to town, already fired up because Max was missing and not knowing that his baby girl was living in a one-room loft with her boyfriend.  Bad things were in store there.

But Nate couldn’t concentrate only on his impending ass-kicking.  His mind kept drifting back to that image of Max in the FBI’s torture room, huddled in a corner, soaking wet and shivering.  Alone, his spirit nearly broken.  If that’s where Max was, then Nate didn’t want to wait for Michael to arrive – selfish reasons aside.  He wanted to act now, before Max met his end.

Nate was relatively sure that Max wasn’t dead.  In the dark, he pulled aside the collar of his shirt and found his chest wasn’t glowing.  Of course, there hadn’t been much rhyme or reason to the seal’s appearance, but Nate had to think that if Max had met his demise, the seal would have come parading out to draw attention to the new king.

Nate shivered.  He didn’t want to be a king.  He was a passive, non-violent person and Alyssa had been right – thoughts of him ascending a throne made him sad.

Under Nate’s hand, Emily twitched, a baby muscle spasm and continued to snore lightly. 

If only you could tell me where he was, Nate thought wistfully.  Maybe Max had whispered that secret to his baby daughter on his way out the door.  “Don’t worry, Daddy will only be in blank for a few days.”  Nate snorted.  If only it could be that easy…

Then he cocked his head to the side.  Maybe it was that easy.  He and Emily were connected on some level – maybe she did know a secret or two.  Closing his eyes, hope floating once again, he concentrated on…he wasn’t really sure what to concentrate on, so he just thought of images of Max and of Emily and tried to see if he could get anything in return.

He got nothing and hope plummeted.  Nate didn’t really know how to connect anyway.

Pushing away his disappointment for Liz’s sake, Nate left Emily’s room and prepared to say goodbye.  He needed to go home and brace himself for Michael’s arrival and Alyssa’s discovery that her uncle was missing.

And Nate wasn’t sure which was going to be worse.