Some dream to remember, some drive to forget.

AUTHOR: TaleWeaver

DISCLAIMER: The Roswell characters were created by Melinda Metz, and developed for television by Jason Katims.

RATING/CONTENT: R. Violence, adult themes, sexual situations. Also minor Max and Liz bashing - but this is Kyle and Tess, what do you expect?

SPOILERS: All of season 2 (written originally before S3 premiered, for a fanzine that was never published), specifically for 'End of the World' and 'How the other half lives'. 

SUMMARY: On a solo road trip after 'Departure', Kyle undergoes a surreal experience - is he dreaming, hallucinating, or is something else going on?

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Some might disagree with some of the deductions that I've made about what happened to Alex and exactly what Tess did - I'll go into more detail about this at the end.

MUSE-IC: This story is based on 'Hotel California' by The Eagles. You can find it most recently on the album 'The Very Best of the Eagles', released 2001 by Warner. Full lyrics are included at the end.

*
"And you chase me like a shadow
And you haunt me like a ghost
And I hate you some
And I love you some
But I miss you the most"
'On a bus to St Cloud', Trisha Yearwood

The night was dark, but Kyle didn't notice. Or rather, he did, but it didn't matter to him. His headlights showed the road, and the full moon lit up the crystal clear sky overhead. The wind was rushing through his hair, cooling his face, though the rest of him was warm. His nose was filled with a familiar scent that he'd eventually identified as colitas.

It was a perfect summer night. He was on his own - not having to answer to anyone except himself. As long as he didn't stay in too many Hiltons, he had enough money to keep going all summer. He could go anywhere he wished, do anything he wanted.

But all he wanted was answers he couldn't get. Tess was gone, and with her all his chances.
Chances to ask her why she'd done what she did. Why was getting back to Antar so important - and was the baby part of the plan?

Chances to ask her if she'd deliberately killed for her cause, like Rath and Lonnie. To ask if what he'd learned from his dad was true, or whether she'd faked that too.
Chances to ask her if she had ever loved Max at all. Or if he'd sacrificed the only real love he'd ever known for nothing.

That was what had driven him onto his great road trip. Despite what he'd said at the prom and in the pod chamber, he'd never thought of Tess as his sister. Unwelcome houseguest, possible bedpartner, reluctant friend, kindred spirit. Then he'd done what he never thought he'd do. He'd fallen in love with her. Thinking all along that she was in love with Max. 

The irony had not been lost on him. Liz had been the best relationship of his life, the perfect high school romance. He hadn't been in love with her, but he'd felt more for her than he had anyone else before. He probably would have fallen for her, given some time. But in one cataclysmic minute, Max Evans had shattered that hope forever. When Tess came to town, he'd known all along who she wanted. But when she'd ranted about not waiting for Max to overcome his blindness, deep down inside he'd started to hope. That maybe a girl would choose him over Max 'prince of the universe' Evans. More importantly, that * Tess * would choose him. 

Then Liz had come over, and Tess was off on the hunt again. Then Liz had come and asked him for that damned favor, and he'd agreed; not just because it was a friend asking him, not just because doing good deeds for others was highly approved of by the Buddha, but because once, just once, he'd wanted to win over Max Evans.
He wondered now - if he'd turned Liz away at the door both times, what would have happened? Would Liz be happy with her 'soulmate', even though she'd been the one to walk away in the first place? Would he and Tess still be fighting over who got the Pop Tarts first in the mornings, Dad chuckling across the table as he peacefully ate his cereal? Would Isabel and Alex be happy together at last, or would Alex still be sighing over the unattainable? Would he and Tess be sharing the bed that used to be his alone, with him waking before dawn to creep back to the couch so Dad wouldn't know?

Would he ever have wanted her to be happy above all else so badly, that he'd told her that his love was like a brother, instead of a mate? Would he have ever let her go to Max, instead of keeping her hidden away inside his heart forever?

Would they both be happy now, instead of Tess being light years away with another man's child in her body, and him driving endlessly, searching for answers inside himself while he wished for anything to dull the ache in the place where she used to be?

He found himself nodding, as if in agreement with himself, and shook his head quickly, recognising the heavy feeling. His eyes weren't focusing as well as before, and Kyle knew he'd finally driven himself to near-exhaustion. That was what he'd done every day since leaving Roswell; he'd only been out here for a week and a half, but he'd ending up sleeping in the back seat a few times already.

He blinked his eyes a few times to re-focus them, and realized that there was a light shimmering up ahead. Something about the quality of the light made him think that it wasn't a gas station. Too large for just a house. Probably some sort of motel, although it wouldn't be too profitable out here. Or would it? Kyle tried to remember what state he was in, and couldn't. He knew he was on an interstate and heading west - they'd told him so at the tacky diner where he'd eaten an odd-tasting burger for dinner; he could conceivably be in California by now, en route to LA or San Francisco. 

As he reflected, he drew closer to the light, to see a building that looked like one of those old adobe missions you see in westerns. The light was coming from the roof, seeming soft and bright at the same time. Without him noticing, the entire landscape had taken on a somewhat dreamlike quality. The warm summer air, the dimly glowing sky, the pale building. As he drew up, a bell started tolling somewhere above, ringing through the desert, oddly in sync with a brief riptide of queasiness in his stomach.
Not seeing any sort of parking lot, Kyle simply parked next to the large wooden front door. As he climbed out of the mustang, he heard the door open. He grabbed his backpack from the back seat, looked up, and shivered convulsively. 

Tess was standing in the doorway. 
She was wearing an ankle-length shift that shifted from gray to blue with the light, just like her eyes. Her hair was past her shoulders now, almost as long as Maria's, but curly all the way through. He'd loved her hair like that, always had an urge to run his fingers through the platinum curls and see whether they were as silky as they looked.

Kyle thought about pinching himself to see if he was dreaming, but decided not to bother. His fatigue and light-headedness had turned into an oddly complacent state of mind, where nothing was strange or to be questioned. Waking or dreaming, alive or dead, heaven or hell. Tess was here, and that was all that mattered.
He walked up the three broad steps leading to the doorway where she waited, her smile as enigmatic as the Mona Lisa. He'd dreamed about seeing her again, talking to her, but now he no longer had any need to speak.
As he walked past her a few steps, into the large room the front door opened into, Tess caught up a long slender white candle from an antique sideboard, and gestured for Kyle to leave his backpack at the foot. As he did so, she flicked her right forefinger against her thumb, and a small flame sprang up from the tip, just like he'd seen Michael do a couple of times. She used the flame to light the candle, then gently blew out the flame on her finger. For a moment Kyle thought he could feel the rush of her breath against his bare chest, and shivered. He looked down to find his blue shirt was still fully buttoned, but didn't find it strange. It was only as he followed Tess across the room and into the corridor opposite the door, that he remembered that this was the shirt he'd been wearing when Liz had asked him for his help that day.

As Tess led him further down the dark corridor, Kyle thought he could hear voices murmuring in the distance, but couldn't make them out. Then Tess opened another heavy wooden door, one of doubles this time, and Kyle followed her out into the moonlit night once more.

He was in a large courtyard in the center of the mission, and he could smell nothing but roses. The moonlight flooded the courtyard, with no lights needed except candles on the tables that were dotted around next to the walls, and a full candelabra on either end of the small bar in the north-west corner. There was slow, sweet, vaguely mexican-sounding music floating through the air with the scent of roses, but no one was playing an instrument. A few dancing couples swayed in the large space in the center of the courtyard. In the gleam of the moonlight and flickers of candlelight, Kyle could catch glimpses of faces. 

Isabel was over by the far wall with Alex, solemnly gazing into each other's faces as they leisurely swayed together, barely moving. She was in red satin and he in white linen, like a valentine they'd never shared. 

Michael and Maria were smiling oh-so-sweetly at each other as they performed a slow, sensuous waltz as if it was their wedding night. Their clothing wouldn't have been out of place at one; Michael in black shirt and pants and looking rather poetic (for him anyway), and Maria in a flowing white silk dress that swirled heavily around her knees on the turns, with a wreath of gardenias in her hair. 

Amy DeLuca and his dad were doing the tango along the nearest wall and back; Jim was in his work uniform of jeans and denim shirt, Amy in red as well, a flowing, floaty, ankle length skirt and a tight top with a scoop neck that showed her midriff when she twisted. After watching them for a few seconds, Kyle shivered again and turned away. Granted, he and his Dad were learning to appreciate each other as adults, but there were some things a man's child was not meant to see. He hadn't even known Jim could do the tango!

He didn't bother looking for Max or Liz. He already knew they had no place here.

The other faces barely struck a chord; most of them were too pretty for words, like the cast of a show on the WB. "Friends of yours?" Kyle asked quietly, indicating the couples he didn't know.

Tess gave him that Mona Lisa smile over her shoulder, and softly replied, "Friends, ornaments, same thing."

Which would explain why that guy from Dawson's creek was the bartender. Kyle didn't understand why he was in an old-fashioned sea captain's uniform, but shrugged it off. Kyle asked for wine, and he simply gave that pretty-boy smile, and said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine."
Kyle frowned in déjà vu; he'd heard that line somewhere before. Instead he shrugged, and offered his arm to Tess. She smiled again, hooked her hand through and they glided onto the dance floor.

This wasn't like the prom, where his heart had been aching fiercely the whole time, knowing he was going to let her go to Max. This time, Tess was all his, the way he'd nearly always wanted her to be. 'If you love something, set it free.' Not the Buddha, but true nonetheless. Part of the reason he'd let her go was that he couldn't stand being a substitute for Max; anyway, Tess shouldn't have to settle. He'd known that to have Tess the way he wanted, she would have to choose to come to him. And now she had. 

Their dancing was smooth and sensual, finally given a chance to release the feelings that had built up over months. Tess laughed as he whirled her around the dance floor, dipping her over his arm.
"I didn't know you were so good at this," she teased, eyes glowing.

Kyle smirked, brought her back upright, and swung her out under his arm and back as he replied, "I used to do ballroom dancing as a kid, to help with my co-ordination for basketball. I dropped it as soon as we got a new coach who thought that dancing was for sissies, but it's been a lot more useful than you'd think."
Tess ran a hand from his shoulder, down his chest and back again, and gave him the feline look he'd only seen a couple of times before. "I heard somewhere that ballroom dancing is supposed to be a vertical version of what the couple really wants to do horizontally."

"Really?" asked Kyle, his voice neutral. Even in a dream - or whatever this was - he couldn't help but wait for her to make the first move. He had to know that this was her choice - that * he* was her choice.

Tess leaned into him and kissed him. Kyle moaned and slid his arms around her waist, sliding his tongue along her lips and deepening the kiss. They'd never really done this, and she tasted so good. Kyle broke off for air and smiled at Tess. "Do know how long I've wanted that?"

Tess' smile turned just a little sad, and she told him, "I've wanted that almost since the first time we met."
"Then why did you chase after Evans?" Kyle demanded. He didn't want to break the mood or anything, but he had to know.

Tess' smile became more of an ironic twist to her lips, as she answered, "Only Max's child, complete with his DNA, could be accepted on the throne and end the wars. Blame Lonnie and Rath, if you like; if Zan had lived, Ava could have gotten pregnant and taken all of them back to Antar at the summit. If they'd thought to consult with Ava about anything, she would have happily mindwarped him into agreeing to go to the summit, and they wouldn't have needed Max. Ava could be the baby's regent, and I could have told Max to get lost and stayed with you and Da-Jim."

"You can call him Dad, if you want," Kyle offered. "I really don't mind."

"I think he might," Tess said ruefully. "Max and Liz can talk about sacrificing all for love all they want, but I'm living it in a way they wouldn't dream of. In my previous life, I took a sacred oath to put my people's welfare above everything else, and I have. For the love of my people, I whored, I covered up the death of a man I considered my friend, I killed..." Tess' gaze locked with Kyle's and her eyes darkened with grief as she finished, "I gave up the only real family I have ever known, in any life. I gave up the only two people I've loved since I came out of the pod."

Needing to comfort her, Kyle covered her mouth with his own once more. Her now midnight blue eyes were dry, but her lips tasted of tears.

As if in response to her sorrow, his stomach cramped in pain, and he broke away to double over. Tess gasped and placed a hand on his stomach. Her hand glowed silver and a comforting warmth seeped through him. Kyle gasped in relief and opened his eyes, to find that the courtyard had disappeared. Instead, he was leaning against a doorway, with a corridor on his right side and a large room on his left.

A heartbreaking squeal of pain caught his attention, and he looked into the room.
He gaped in astonishment at the crowd in the chamber. No, not the crowd... the mob.

It was everyone downstairs in the courtyard, and more. Max and Liz were there too now, Max in nondescript jeans and T-shirt and Liz in her CrashDown uniform. All the mob had long knives, and the light glinted off the gleaming steel blades. They were attacking something in the centre, but Kyle couldn't see it, until a gap opened between Isabel and Max, and he could see the beast.

Two halves seemed to join together lengthways, with a few legs coming out from the seam in the middle. It had a pair of huge dragonfly wings, a beautiful silvery blue, but one was broken and limp, and the other was dragging on the floor, barely held on, and as Kyle watched Liz ripped it away, her silver antennae bobbing madly above her head, the ridiculousness of her attire making the picture all the more chilling.

The beast screamed again, and Kyle felt another chill run up and down his spine. Something about the voice seemed familiar, and then he saw its face.

It was his own. 

As he gasped in shock, it's face shifted, morphing into that of Tess, then back to his, then again to hers. Kyle gulped as he realized that the voice was also his and Tess' blended together.

"What is it?" Kyle asked, his voice trembling.

Tess' voice was no more steady as she replied, "It's us - our love. The body... well, it has two backs." As Kyle recognized the reference and blushed, she continued, "I think the wings represent the way love makes you fly, but everyone around us keeps dragging us down. They see it as evil, and that it has to be destroyed."

As if to illustrate her point, Liz screamed, "It's evil!" and she brought down the knife again as she grinned in hellish triumph.

Max yelled, "It must be destroyed!" his face immobile. But then, Kyle didn't think the guy's face ever changed expression anyway.

"Not very original thinkers, are they?" Kyle asked.

"Were they ever?" Tess shrugged. Her voice was nonchalant, but her body was trembling even more violently than his own. Kyle hugged her close as they watched, unable to turn away.

Michael chimed in with, "It can't be allowed to live." He was even more stone-faced than Max, but his tone was sorrowful, like a bell tolling a death knell.

Maria's face was tearstained, as she added, "I just don't see how it can do any good to drag out the pain."

All the others were silent as they struck, though Alex's face was twisted in grief, and Isabel sobbed hysterically. As the beast gave a last groan and collapsed, the mob backed away. Kyle's breath stalled in his lungs as the beast gave one last shudder, and lay still.

Then he saw that the wings were growing back. The wounds were closing as he watched, and the mob stared in disbelief at it's strength as the beast lifted it's head and gave them all a defiant look.

"May I?" Tess asked, waving a hand. At Kyle's nod, she gestured gracefully and the mob disappeared. The beast gave them a grateful look - it was currently wearing Kyle's face - and it's head drooped, relaxing as it rested.

"That's just way too Freudian for me. Or is it Jungian?" 

Tess shrugged and smiled. "This is your dreamscape, Kyle. I'm just joining in on the ride."

"So if I'm in control, why aren't we in the bedroom yet?"

Tess giggled and ran to the huge bed, jumping on it and bouncing up and down on the thick golden comforter like a child. Kyle looked around and discovered that the room had somehow changed without him realizing. The beast was gone, instead there was the bed. A fireplace roared off to the left, but it gave off no heat to make the warm summer air uncomfortable.

Kyle shook his head and jumped on the bed beside her, rolling onto his back to look up at her face. He snickered, and pointed up at the ceiling, where his reflection pointed back. "How nookie motel is that?"

"Hey, don't knock nookie motels, they serve a valid need," Tess giggled, reaching for the side table. "Look, champagne - pink even!"

"Cool," Kyle said sitting up. His stomach lurched, and he grabbed it again. Tess's eyes widened in alarm and she laid her hand on his bare stomach, gently pressing him onto his back again. Even through the nausea, Kyle felt a tingle go through him at the skin to skin contact, and wondered dimly just when he'd lost his shirt.

"This is the dreamscape. I wanted your shirt gone, so it is," Tess answered. Kyle stared at her askance and she added, "No, you didn't say that aloud. But your thoughts are mostly opened to me here. I'm giving you as much privacy as I can, but some things are too loud to block." Her hand moved gently and efficiently over his torso, and stopped over his stomach again. "That's why I was able to reach you."

"What do you mean, Tessie?"

"I'm not a figment of your mind, Kyle, I'm really here. On Antar, my body is next to one of our most powerful objects, called the HeartCrystal. It's said to go right through to the core of the planet - the crystals we used on the Granilith were actually splinters off the HeartCrystal. It's sentient in an odd way and has great powers, not the least of which is enhancing mental abilities. I've been using it to boost my range to reach Earth, so I could dreamwalk you and Dad, to find out how things are with you. But I couldn't reach you until tonight. You have natural mental barriers - whether it's a side effect of Max healing you, or because of your Buddhist disciplines re-shaping your thought patterns, I don't know. But you're sick, Kyle, and that lowered them enough for me to slip in. I didn't realize why, and I'm sorry."

"Sick? But I feel fine."

"Do you? Stomach cramps, nausea, the chills? Your physical symptoms are manifesting themselves in your dream self." Tess frowned, and told him, "Whatever you had for dinner, you shouldn't have. You've got food poisoning."

Kyle couldn't help but glance down at his jeans while he asked, "But doesn't that include diarrhea as well?"

"Maybe the healing boosted your immune system or something - I think your body's managing to suppress that symptom. But you should still be vomiting..."

As if on cue, Kyle started to choke. There was nothing in his throat, but he still couldn't breathe. 

"Kyle!" Tess cried. "Oh my God, your body's choking to death on your own vomit!"

Tess made wordless noises of distress as she placed her hand on his throat. He could feel the obstruction dissolve, but there was still no air. Tess passed her hand down his throat and over his chest, directly above his oesophagus, clearing away all the invisible blockage. She laid a hand on his stomach, and Kyle could feel a weight dissipating that he hadn't realized was there .

He panted for breath as Tess bent her head and placed a moist soft kiss over his racing heart. He could feel her breath on his skin and he could feel the adrenaline turned to arousal. He couldn't help but moan - hey, it had been more than a year since he'd last gotten laid. Tess lifted her head to gaze into his eyes, and a disturbing thought occurred to him.

"You said that Max changed my body when he healed me. Is there any... leftovers of him inside me?"

Tess knew what he meant, and she frowned. "Max's way of healing is very... disorganized. I don't know if he might have left behind a shadow of his - I guess you'd call it the aura of his powers."

At this, Kyle slid into near-panic. Evans was responsible, either directly or indirectly, for almost everything that had gone wrong in his life in the past two years, and the thought of having a piece of the guy inside him went past revulsion to sheer horror. "Get it out!"

"Kyle, calm down." Tess spoke soothingly to no avail.

Kyle grabbed her hands from his chest and held them tightly in his own. "I don't want his... taint inside me. Replace it. Push your aura or whatever it is into me until it overflows and washes him away. I don't want him in me, I just want you." Even to his own ears, he sounded incoherent, but Tess understood what he meant. She wiggled up his chest a little to reach his lips, and kissed him.

When Max healed him, it was like a firebreak was being formed in his body. The fiery pain from the bullet met the warmth of Max's power, and couldn't cross the barrier. Then the barrier shrank, forcing back the pain until it was swallowed. Tess' power was like a cool stream flowing through him. He could now feel the particles that Max left behind, like grains of sand under his skin that he hadn't even noticed, responding to her power. The silver-blue stream called to the grains, sweeping them from wherever they'd lodged in his body and healing the scratches they'd left, washing him clean. When Max had healed him, Kyle's feelings towards Max had been negative, to say the least. He had resented and rejected both Max and what Max had left behind without his permission ever since. All of the irritation of Max Evans was gone, and there was only Tess. Tess who he eagerly accepted, and whatever she chose to give him. Tess who he loved.

He reached out for Tess' shoulder and slid her shift down over one shoulder. He ran his hand up again and down between her breasts, and felt the fabric fade away under his avid touch. He rolled Tess underneath him and kept kissing her, teasing her tongue with his own. Her hands slid around to his back and down his spine, one drifting over to his bare thigh and tracing up and down gently. Revelling in the feel of his now totally bare body against her nakedness, Kyle couldn't help but think that this melting clothes trick beat fumbling with zippers and buttons hands down, and he felt Tess' lips smile against his own in response.

He rolled again so she was on top, and his hands slid over the curves of her body until they rested on her hips. Moving half in memory and half on instinct, he guided her into position, and as she sank onto him he gave a soul-deep groan that vibrated through them both. It was echoed by Tess' moan that made their lips tingle as the circuit of her power became complete. Now the silver-blue stream passed from her lips to his, where it coursed through him down to where his body was joined with hers and flowed back into her. While the stream flowed through them both they didn't need to breathe; their kiss was endless. As Tess began to move the flow increased, surging higher and higher until the conduit burst, leaving silver-blue sparkles dancing through them both.

Tess finally broke the kiss to collapse on his chest, her head once again over his heart. Kyle drifted with the rapture for what seemed like forever, until his pulse slowed. He could still feel the matching exultation coming from Tess - he'd told her once that when she was pissed he could feel the energy rolling from her, and this was the same thing, only it was peaceful.

"I gotta say, I never thought of sex as a religious experience before."

Tess gave a sleepy, sexy chuckle in reply and cuddled against him more closely. "Amen. Or do you Buddhists say something different?"

"I'll look it up. What do you guys have on Antar?"

"The best way to put it is that we worship light and energy itself, and the HeartCrystal and the Granilith as its sources."

Kyle could still feel the sparkles, now slipping into his bloodstream where they lightened his blood, but now the bodily needs had been met, he needed to gain the wisdom.

"Speaking of your home planet and how you got there..."

"Alex," Tess said. The longer she'd stayed with the Valentis, the further she'd been able to follow his sometimes out-there trains of thought. She moved so she could look into his eyes, and told him, "I didn't mean to kill him, Kyle, I really didn't! When I tried to mindwarp him again, it was like something snapped in his head - I think there was something wrong with his brain, physically wrong I mean. I mindwarped thousands of people before Nasedo and I came to Roswell, but I've never come across anything like it."

"Brain tumor." As Tess stared, Kyle continued, "After you left, I talked to my dad. After what he told me, I went to see Alex's parents. His doctor sent him for an MRI for headaches - he never complained about them except to me, you know how he never wanted to be trouble - and the results came in a couple of days before he died. His parents found the test results in his room the day after, and the autopsy confirmed it; Alex had a brain tumor. Had it for at least six months. I've wondered ever since I found out, but... you couldn't have faked that, could you?"

Tess shook her head, tears in her eyes. "When I did the first mindwarp, I thought I sensed a... flaw, or something. But it didn't affect the warp, so I ignored it. I could have saved him - Max could have healed him, if I'd said!"

"Doesn't matter now, Tessie," Kyle soothed her, stroking the tumbled curls back over her shoulder. "But why didn't it get set off before, when you sent him to Las Cruces in the first place?"

Tess shook her head again as she said, "I didn't. Alex came up with the idea to use the computer to translate the book on his own. He said he'd thought of it before, but the equipment wasn't available then. He came to me because he knew I'd kept the book." 

"Why didn't you guys just tell everyone?"

Tess shrugged. "Alex didn't want to tell anyone; it was his idea to fake the trip to Sweden. He has relatives in the army who were stationed there once, so he had stuff to fake his slides and everything, and told me what to do with them. I don't know why. Maybe he couldn't face everyone if he'd failed."

"So why mindwarp him at all?"

"The book isn't just instructions on how to use the Granilith. It also tells of the history of our people, and how the rebellion started. Max and Isabel's mother was in charge of creating us and sending us to earth, and she made that message to tell Max what he was supposed to do, but it was the clerics who created the book, and they were against him. 

"You see, Max wasn't such a nice guy back when he was Zanthos. Absolute power corrupted him absolutely. The lives of his people were nothing but chess pieces in the games of politics he played. He broke the oath of kingship, to protect his people above all things, and the punishment for that is death. The book makes it clear that if Max ever returned to Antar, he would pay with his life. His mother must have made the message before the judgement was brought down, and she died right afterwards, I think. At least, that's what Nasedo told 
me. 

"I had to make Alex forget the death sentence, or I couldn't have gotten any of them to let me go to Antar, and the baby had to be born there. When I performed the initial mindwarp, it must have built up pressure in his mind until it broke, letting him realize that I'd altered his memory. When I tried it again the last time, his brain couldn't take it and the tumor must have burst." Tess shrugged sadly and concluded, "So in the end, Alex and I both became prisoners of our own device."

"You had the baby already?"

"The gestation period for a hybrid-hybrid baby is a month."

"What did you name him?"

"I named him after the men I wanted him to grow up to be like. Alex Valenti of house Marshok." At Kyle's silence, she added, "Well, Alex Kyle James was too awkward, so..." Tess sighed. "Alex made a great sacrifice for the sake of my people. I wanted to make sure it was always remembered."

"And what you made me do?" Kyle said tightly.

"Ever since I came out of my pod, I was training for the events of those last few months, Kyle, always knowing that I was playing for the lives of billions on five planets. I'm sorry I had to use you like that; I'm more sorry than you'll ever understand that I caused you pain. But I did what was necessary, and I can't regret that."

Kyle accepted that that was all he would ever get from her on the subject, and he would have to be content with it.

After a few moments, Tess sat up and told him softly, "We have to go, Kyle; I'm needed and have to get back to the waking world. But I can't leave you until I know you're awake and safe."

Kyle nodded, rolled and sat on the edge of the bed facing away from her. He rubbed his hands on his thighs, feeling the denim of his jeans against his palms. Not even noticing his clothes had reappeared, he squished his eyes shut and said chokily, "If I leave you slowly, I won't leave at all." He sensed her moving behind him, and he felt a kiss brush across the nape of his neck like a sea breeze.

"Then run."

Kyle nodded, and bolted for the door, keeping his eyes closed until he was out of the room. He dashed down the corridor, knowing where he was going without being told. He pounded down the grand staircase to the entrance room, taking the last half-dozen in a jump and using his momentum to slide halfway across the room to the door. As he came to a stop, he couldn't help but look up the stairs to where he'd left her. One night, one dream wasn't enough.
"Relax."
Kyle whirled around to see Alex sitting behind a huge oak counter that had appeared across the room. He was now dressed in one of the uniforms you see on bellboys in fancy hotels, all navy blue cloth and shiny brass buttons. Actually, it suited him in an odd sort of way. Alex grinned - the grin he'd given Kyle when they'd been trapped in the crystalline cave in Frazer's woods, thinking they were going to die of suffocation. "We are programmed to receive, man. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!"
"Huh?"
"She'll always be here for you, Kyle. The two of you are connected on the dreamscape, now. You'll never be truly apart again."
Kyle gave Alex a smile bright with relief, and headed for the door again. He hit the door at a run, and as he shoved it open the light was blinding...
Kyle coughed as he twisted his face away from the sun, raising a hand to shield his eyes. Wait... the sun?
Kyle screwed up his eyes and squinted as he looked around. He was draped on the back seat of the Mustang, one leg trailing onto the floor. His head was pounding, but the pain was diminishing rapidly, and other than that he felt... well, fantastic actually. He felt better, both physically and emotionally, than he had since prom night. The car radio was playing, and he recognized the song as one of his Dad's favourites; 'Hotel California' by The Eagles. He slowly climbed into the front seat, and looked into space for a moment, absently rubbing his stomach. He didn't remember his dreams very often, and never clearly. But he remembered every detail of the weird-ass one he'd just had. Dream or no, he resolved that he wasn't ever going to eat another burger that wasn't home-barbequed, from the CrashDown, or MacDonalds. 
Frowning, he twisted the keys in the ignition. Despite the fact the radio must have been playing for at least six hours straight, the engine started flawlessly. For the first time since he left Roswell, he was genuinely eager to see what was on the road up ahead, and he couldn't help but smile. A new energy thrummed in his body as he pulled onto the road, the car tires sending a plume of dust into the empty land behind him. As he started down the road, a new song started playing, and Kyle sang along with 'American Pie' from the first line.

THAT'S IT... OR IS IT?


ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE (or, 'How did she come to that conclusion?'): First off, about Alex agreeing to go to Las Cruces University. Alex must have left for 'Sweden' during 'MitC'; we know that Tess' mindwarp abilities can't be time-delayed or used from a distance, and if she truly had to constantly renew the warp on Alex's mind, it would have broken down when she was in New York. Also, Tess may have had the ability to fake the slides and such, but not the background knowledge; Alex is much more likely to have told her how. 

Given that Alex was the one with computer knowledge *and * that he came up with the possibility of translating the alien language back in season one (I can't remember the ep, but he was in the UFO museum with Isabel at the time), it makes much more sense that translating the book was his idea - or at least that he sparked the idea in Tess' mind. Not to mention, since he had a tendency to feel like the 'plain jane' of the Pod Squad, it's more likely that not telling anyone that there may be a way to translate the book was Alex's idea (he would have had severe problems facing Isabel if he'd tried and failed), which also answers the question (pointed out by many fans and several critics): why not just tell Max there was a way to translate the book?

Second, about the brain tumor: Tess has mindwarped dozens of people in Roswell alone, and there's never been an effect like this before. Something flawed in Alex's brain that could have been triggered by the mind warp makes more sense - and brain tumors can make sufferers irrational in some cases, which would explain level-headed and cool-in-a-crisis Alex confronting Tess without anything resembling backup and getting mixed up about how much she mindwarped him. Also, Valenti is far too professional and skilled a cop to mention the possibility of suicide to the Pod Squad unless there was a strong reason (albeit one that he couldn't mention without the family's consent and had to be confirmed by an autopsy); a terminal illness qualifies. Otherwise, why did Alex's parents accept the suicide explanation when the Pod Squad didn't? Granted, Liz was the only one who thought murder, but though everyone else was convinced it was an accident, none of them accepted suicide.

HOTEL CALIFORNIA
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair 
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air 
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light 
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim 
I had to stop for the night 
There she stood in the doorway; 
I heard the mission bell 
And I was thinking to myself, 
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell' 
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way 
There were voices down the corridor, 
I thought I heard them say... 
Welcome to the Hotel California 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely face 
Plenty of room at the Hotel California 
Any time of year, you can find it here 
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends 
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends 
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. 
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget 
So I called up the Captain, 
'Please bring me my wine' 
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine' 
And still those voices are calling from far away, 
Wake you up in the middle of the night 
Just to hear them say... 
Welcome to the Hotel California 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely face 
They livin' it up at the Hotel California 
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis 
Mirrors on the ceiling, 
The pink champagne on ice 
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device' 
And in the master's chambers, 
They gathered for the feast 
They stab it with their steely knives, 
But they just can't kill the beast 
Last thing I remember, I was 
Running for the door 
I had to find the passage back 
To the place I was before 
'Relax,' said the night man, 
'We are programmed to receive. 
You can checkout any time you like, 
but you can never leave!'