The Short-term Fix

by Yettaren

        Friday night and life is good. I have a job. I, Michael Guerin, have joined the world of the employed. Which basically means that I get to spend time around Maria, and start saving money towards getting my ass out of the Butlers’ house. What I didn’t count on was the fact that it’s actually work.

        This is a fact I realize Friday night as I collapse into a seat at the counter. Saturn Rings, Space Fries, Eclipse Burgers, Blood of Alien Smoothies. Recipes swirling in my head. I can do it, I can do this job. But on top of a week of school, I don’t think my brain’s ever been so fried. Talk about Space Fries. That would almost be funny, if…

        “Wow, Michael looks too tired to even be sullen,” Maria points out to Liz as the two of them fly by me with sodas in hand. I shoot a withering glance at her. I’m not too tired to do that.

        The girls breeze back by and I reach out to grab Maria by the arm.

        “What?”

        “Leave me alone, I’m exhausted.”

        “What, and I’m not?” she asks, before prancing back off to pick up an order. I shake my head and sip the Sprite I helped myself to. Unlimited sodas, it’s one nice job perk. Jose’s at the grill, though he sure looks like he’s ready for his two-week notice to be up right about now.

        I hear a jangle at the door and look up in time to see the Evanses entering. Liz, right on cue, seems to melt and whispers something to Maria before handing her an order that clearly belonged to one of Liz’s tables.

        Much to Isabel’s annoyance, Liz greets Max with a kiss that doesn’t seem like it’s going to end. I have to look away myself. Maria, having dumped Liz’s order on a table, slides into the seat beside me and rests her chin on her palm, staring at me.

        She wants something.

        “What?”

        Maria shakes her head. “You know, if I didn’t know you were so stressed right now, I’d be having some serious concerns.”

        “Huh? What are you talking about?”

        “Look at them. Look at us. Why can’t we be – no, never mind, I said I wasn’t going to do this.”

        Out of habit, I do look over at the lovebirds. They’re so public. “Leave? We just got here!” Isabel is saying. She’s pissed. I would be, too.

        “We kind of planned on seeing a movie,” Max tells her, his arm around Liz. I roll my eyes at the both of them.

        Liz whirls around to Maria. “Maria, would you mind?” she asks.

        “Sure, go ahead,” Maria says, waving a hand.

        “Thank you,” Liz says, clinging to Max as they snake their way out of the restaurant. Completely shirking her managerial duties. How many things are wrong with this picture? I start absentmindedly trying to count them. One, two…

        “Live the life I so desperately want,” Maria says softly, as she pushes herself back up to a standing position to go deal with her customers and Liz’s on top of that.

        This is not good. This is not good. I am not going to go all Max Evans on this girl. Ever.

        “It’s kind of immature, really,” I muse.

        “Really,” Maria says, not looking impressed, as Isabel settles in down the counter from us.

        “Just a couple of horndogs looking for a place to make out. I mean, we don’t need that. We have other places we can go.”

        “Really.” Now there’s a different tone to it. Like she’s actually considering what I’m saying.

        “Yeah, speaking of which, now that I’m gonna have a paycheck, I went shopping today. Bought some stuff for the treehouse.”

        “Really?”

        “Hey, Maria,” Isabel says, trying to get her attention. “I think I’m gonna have the special.”

        Maria and I glance at each other, and in that one marvelous instant, I know we’re thinking the exact same thing. For once.

*~*~*~*~*~*

This little treehouse is turning out to be about the best thing I’ve ever gotten out of life. I’m deadly serious. Well, besides Maria herself.

        I bought the stuff on my way to the Crash this afternoon for training, and Maria impatiently helps me put it up everywhere. Sheets to cover the windows from prying eyes, candles for mood, pillows and blankets for comfort. The place is a wall-to-wall love shack. I felt pretty stupid buying the tie-dye sheets and candles, but I have to admit, the final effect is pretty good. Maybe Maria was right. No sooner have we gotten it all put up than she pounces, and by pounces, I mean I am counting my blessings that this girl is all mine.

        And we’re everywhere, and we’re together, and it’s good. I’m tasting her skin, I’m tasting her hair, I’m tasting the inside of her ear. She’s rubbing against me, in that place that makes me want to absolutely lose control and ravish her, and I’m getting close, and her hair is golden, and soft sliding through my hand, and her lips are on my shoulder, on my neck, on my chin. She’s moaning my name, something’s coming out of my mouth and I think it’s her name. Over and over.

        I don’t want this to end. I know I can’t feel like this. The stone wall. Able to leave anything and anyone at any time. But I can’t help it. I can’t control it. This is perfect. I just want to be like this, forever, alone, undisturbed, wrapped up in Maria, tasting Maria, licking Maria, kissing Maria, rubbing Maria…

        Something’s making a funny noise… it’s definitely not one of us…

        She pulls back from me. “It’s my cell phone.”

        I move back in. Not so fast, pixie. “Leave it,” I say, and my voice is husky and urgent.

        “Wait,” she says, and that’s the last thing I want to do right now. She reaches for her purse and fishes for the phone. “It’s Liz.”

        “Message,” I grunt, moving back in, but she’s already flipped the phone open.

        “Liz, what is it?” she asks. I nuzzle my face into her chest, nosing her nipples. “What? No. Where are you?” I move my mouth against her breasts, and this is definitely unexplored territory for me. I mean, hell, I was never a baby, if you think about it, really… But her hands are on my face, pushing me away. “Michael, we have to go to Liz’s house.”

        “Why?” I ask, petulantly. We can’t finish this at Liz’s house.

        “Topolsky. She’s back.”

        Way to kill the mood.

        I extinguish the candles one by one – I haven’t picked up on Isabel’s candle-lighting trick yet, though it’s definitely one I want to master – and stumble down the ladder after Maria. We parked the car on the street on the other side of the woods, so Veronica and Toby wouldn’t even know we were here. It’s a longer walk, but worth the privacy. I glance at my watch as we dash through the woods to the Jetta. 8:47. I’ve just got over an hour until my stupid curfew. Stupid, stupid curfew and there’s an alien hunter in town. I have a feeling this excuse won’t go over well with the Butlers.

        As we dash through the woods, I keep my hand firmly wrapped around Maria’s. Somehow, alone, it’s easier.

        We meet up on Liz’s balcony, clambering up yet another ladder to confer. Liz pulls us all into her bedroom, safe from prying outdoor eyes.

        “She practically just attacked us in the car at Buckley Point,” Liz says nervously.

        “I thought you went to the movies,” Maria says, accusing. The girl’s a sharp one. I’m proud.

        “It had bad reviews,” Liz says softly, glancing away. I have a feeling the two of them are going to be swapping stories later on. It makes me a little uncomfortable to think that maybe the girls compare notes like Max and I have.

        “She said we were in danger,” Max says, “All of us. And to just act normal until she contacts us again.”

        Alex leans nervously against Liz’s dresser. “Would that be, you know, alien normal, or just plan ‘We’re the subjects of an FBI manhunt’ normal?”

        I shake my head. “This sounds wrong, like some sort of trap.”

        “No, Michael,” Liz insists. “She was really scared. I believed her.”

        “Yeah,” I say. “Let me remind you, Liz, that you believed her the first time, too.”

        Alex advances on me. “Hey, you want to know what? Where would you be if Liz and I didn't stick our necks out to expose her?”

        “Okay. Just calm down, all right?” Isabel asks, and of course Alex listens to her. Nice one, Isabel.

        “Do you really think she’s here to warn us?” he asks.

        “She wasn't the same person she was before. You know, and the way that she was talking, she seemed like she was just as scared for herself as she is for us,” Liz says.

        “Then I say we listen,” Alex says, and who the hell is this wanker to tell us what to do with our safety?

        “I say we don't!” I glance around at them all. “All right, it's just a new tactic. She scares us, makes us think we need help, and all we're really doing is admitting who we are. All right? I don't trust her, and none of us should.”

        Max steps forward to take charge in his typical way. “Whether we trust her or not, it doesn't hurt to take her advice. We're normal teenage kids. No one says the word ‘alien’ or talks about this in public. Anybody could be watching.” He holds up the orb he’s been hiding at his place all week, he and Liz found it in the desert when they went missing. “We’ve got to hide this somewhere.”

        “My parents never go in my room,” Alex says. “It’d be safe there.”

        “No,” I say immediately. “The last time we hid something at somebody’s house, it got broken into. We need someplace we can lock it up tight.” I snap my fingers. “Downstairs. My locker.”

        “What if somebody breaks into that?” Maria asks me.

        “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” I say firmly.

        Maria sighs and I pull her in to me. “I can’t believe she’s back,” she says. “I thought this was all over with.” She curls up in my arms, reassuring me as much as I’m comforting her.

        But that’s just it, Maria. This never will be all over with. As long as I’m alive, and Max and Isabel are alive, people are going to come after us trying to find out who we are. And as long as you’re with me, they’re going to come in your direction, too.

        Maria’s got to be cut out for this. If she can’t handle all this weird alien stuff, I don’t know what I’m going to do with her, but it’s sure as hell not going to be any kind of long-term commitment.

        I don’t know. I just don’t know.       

Chapter 22

        “You’re late.”

        I jump at the voice as I walk into the house. I check my watch. 11:13. I look back up at Toby, who’s sitting in the TV room with his bathrobe on over his pajamas. The TV is off. He’s setting down the newspaper on the coffee table. I can’t help but think that he looks utterly domesticated and ridiculous. I hate this house. I hate it. Outside, I hear the familiar roar of the Jetta speeding away down the street.

        “I had a problem,” I say. It occurs to me that perhaps he knows Topolsky is back. If he really is FBI. Or a grunt of some sort. I could just tell him the truth, and maybe he’d go easy on me. “Um, my friend Max and his girlfriend, they got harassed by somebody, we had to go pick them up.” It’s a roundabout lie. Half-truth. I’m completely not used to lying. Hank never gave a shit if I told him what I was doing or not. I hope my lie goes over well.

        “You could have called.” Toby stands up and turns to face me.

        “Didn’t have a phone with us.” Well, okay, we did, Maria has a cell, but again with the lying. It’s almost fun.

        “Michael…”

        “Look, Toby,” I say with a sigh, holding up my hand. “It’s a Friday night, for crying out loud. I didn’t get off work until eight, and when I did, my friends went and had a crisis on me. Ground me or whatever, I don’t fucking care, but it’s my life and it’s hard enough without these stupid rules to follow.”

        Toby sighs. Is he actually considering what I’m saying? I let my hand trail back down to my side as I watch him, waiting. A stand-off.

        “We expect you to follow the rules.”

        “Ten o’ clock? On a Friday?”

        “Until you get more settled in, that’s all, Michael.”

        “It’s Friday night!”

        “You know, son, it might be more effective if you argued this before you broke the rules, rather than after.”

        I point my finger at him, accusingly. “I am not your son,” I snap. “I’m nobody’s son. Remember that.” My voice shakes just a little. I’m someone’s son. We just don’t know whose. Yet.

        Toby closes his eyes for a moment and is quiet. He opens them again. “You’re right. I apologize, Michael.”

        “Thanks,” I say, taken aback just a bit.

        “I have to ask what you were really doing.”

        “I just told you,” I say suspiciously. “I was at the Crashdown, Max and Liz were shaken up, we had to calm them down. I work there now, remember? And it’s my friend’s house, too, Liz lives upstairs. We weren’t doing anything dangerous.”

        “You were with Maria?”

        I feel a chill pass through me. “That’s none of your business.”

        “You still haven’t brought her over here. You told Veronica you would.”

        I fold my arms and regard him. “And if I don’t, it’s back to the orphanage, huh?”

        “Michael, why are you so afraid of being a part of this family?”

        “Because this family sucks!” I blurt out, knowing even before I say it that it’s the wrong thing to say.

        Toby’s face tightens. “Michael…”

        “If you’re gonna ground me, ground me. I don’t care. If you’re gonna kick me out, do it. I don’t fucking care.” I whirl around and storm towards my room.

        “Hold it right there,” he says, and his voice is enough to lock my legs into place and force me to turn around. Against my will. “You really want to be grounded that badly? Kicked out?”

        “I told you, I don’t care,” I sneer at him.

        “You said that. I don’t believe you.” Yeah, what else don’t you believe? I don’t buy it. I narrow my eyes at him. He continues. “For someone who claims not to care, you sure have done a good job turning your life around in the past couple of weeks.”

        I fix my jaw to keep it from dropping in astonishment. “Huh?”

        “You’re going to school again. You have a job. Michael, compared to where you were a month ago, your life is completely changing for the better. Now are you going to let this continue, or are you going to rebel against it and force yourself back into abject misery with no future?”

        What the fuck? “Goddammit, leave me alone!” I shout, throwing up my hands and storming to my room. I feel blood rushing into my cheeks and neck. Misery… what does Toby Butler know about misery? Like I want my life to be as miserable as it is? Like it’s a choice?

        It’s not a choice, it’s not.

        I remember what Liz said to me earlier in the week. “I think it’s more a friend telling – no, ordering you to sit up and get a grip on your life, and just maybe your attitude, before it spirals out of your hands.”

        Sure, I don’t control my attitude. I know that. I revel in it.

        I slam the door to the room behind me. Nate jumps. He’s sitting at the desk, working at the computer, surfing the internet. He gives me a glare and turns back to his work. I’m only happy to ignore him and throw myself down on my bed. Nate’s not here. I can pretend I’m alone.

        I don’t cause my own misery. Who the fuck is he to tell me that? My life sucks. My ship crashed, I woke up probably forty years too late, all alone, with Max and Isabel Evans as the only people I can turn to. Max and Isabel. Sometimes I even hate them. I never found a home here, I got stuck with possibly one of the worst rejects to ever meet low foster care standards, and now I’m stuck in this shithole of a reject family, trying to keep from being captured by the evil alien hunters. What did I ever do along the way to cause it?

        Other than get myself kicked out of five different foster homes before I ended up with Hank.

        Other than let go of Max’s hand in the desert, leaving him and Isabel to be adopted while I hid alone.

        Other than drive Hank out of Roswell and get myself stuck in a new home.

        Other than letting Max heal Liz in public and expose us all to the government.

        Other than refuse to apply for emancipation.

        Dammit. I have to roll over in bed to bury my face in the pillow. I don’t want Nate to know I’m this upset. The lights are still on, he’s playing some stupid computer game. All I want is privacy, and I don’t have it, because I was stupid and idiotic and got myself into this whole situation. For all I know, I’m the one who caused the stupid ship to crash in the first place.

        “Hey, Michael?” I pick up my face to glance over at Nate, who’s looking at me all concerned. “You okay?”

        Yeah, like you care, asswipe. “Fine. Leave me alone.”

        “I heard you and Dad yelling out there.”

        Dad. Nate called him Dad. “Yeah, good for you, your hearing’s working just super, then, huh?”

        Nate rolls his eyes at me. “Sure. Be a jerk. See how far it gets you, huh?”

        “It’s gotten me this far,” I manage to say coolly.

        “I can see that,” he says in a patronizing tone. And that’s something I can’t take. Not now. I sit up in bed.

        “Just leave me the fuck alone.”

        “Hey, I didn’t ask for you to move into my bedroom.”

        “Well, I didn’t ask to move into it.” Believe you me, pothead.

        “Then we’re even!”

        “Good!” I shout back at him, before moving over to the window.

        Nate leans in my direction, drumming his fingers on the desk. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?” he asks as I unlatch the window.

        “Out,” I say, as I heave myself through it, landing on the ground with a thump. Nate hops up and walks over to peer out the window at me as I stand and brush myself off.

“You’re busting out?” he asks, surprised.
“I’m going for a walk. Tell anybody and I’ll tell them what you really do during the church potlucks.”

        Nate holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m no squealer.”
       
“Yeah, bye.”

Chapter 23

I set off across the backyard. I see that Toby and Veronica’s bedroom window is cracked open, and I can see Veronica’s silhouette inside. We still don’t know if he’s FBI. We still don’t know that he’s not working against me, biding his time to turn us in. I think it’s worth a listen, and I sneak across the grass to the window.

        I glance around as I do. Topolsky’s still out here somewhere. But the yard is clear, as far as I can tell, and I manage to shake the nervous feeling itching up my spine.

        “Veronica, he’s sixteen.”

        “Exactly. He’s sixteen, he’s still a minor. He’s had no guidance his entire life, no one telling him what’s good judgment and what’s bad judgment.” My ears perk up and I crouch down beneath the window, waiting, listening.

“And he’s fiercely independent because of that. He thinks he’s in charge of his own life. He’s not going to just sit back and let us run it for him.”

“I realize that, Toby. It’s why he needs structure. He doesn’t have to like it, we don’t have to like it, but we have to enforce it.”

        “And if we do, sweetie, we’re going to lose him.”

        There’s a long pause. I shift my position to get more comfortable. “Maybe this isn’t the battle for us,” Veronica says. I feel a shudder pass through me, a delayed reaction to holding back so much emotion.

        “Maybe not. Do you want to give up so easily?”

        “We should call Daniel,” she says with resolve. “Maybe discuss the situation further.” Daniel Velasquez. My new caseworker.

“Daniel doesn’t know Michael Guerin any better than we do. We’re all struggling here. He’s a tough kid, Veronica. We knew that going in. Unless… you’re not saying you want to give him up, are you?”

        My fingers clench into tight fists.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I just don’t know.”

“We can handle this, Veronica,” Toby says. “He was an hour late. It’s not like he was out getting arrested again. He’s turning a corner, I think. Daniel says we’ve been a great influence so far. Do you want to give him up and see him go back to what he was?”

“I don’t know,” she says again, and I can barely hear her. There’s another long pause.

“Are you afraid of him?”

I suck my breath in at that, waiting for the answer that comes after a long silence. Too long.

        “Perhaps,” she says, very slowly.

        “I think you’re exaggerating what the sheriff said.” I feel a rush of adrenaline. “This isn’t a dangerous kid. He’s never hurt anyone. Ever. He’s just used to being on the defensive. And if he and his friends are mixed up in something, it’s obviously nothing too dangerous, because if it was they wouldn’t be running around in the community.” Mixed up in something. He said we were mixed up in something.

        But what’s more shocking is what he didn’t say.

        “I know,” she says.

        “Don’t you want to be the good influence in his life? Don’t you want to see this kid succeed at something?”

        “That’s not fair,” she says, in an accusatory tone. “Maybe he’ll be better off in another situation.”

        “And maybe not,” Toby says. “Give him a chance.”

        There’s another long silence. I bury my face in my hands as I crouch, waiting, for the next barrage in this fight about my life.

        “Are teenagers always like this?” Veronica asks.

        “No,” Toby says. “Sometimes they’re worse. Sometimes they’re better. We seem to have three right smack in the middle.”

        “I wish they could just stay kids forever,” she says quietly.

        “No,” he says. “No, you don’t wish that.” There’s a firm edge in his voice. “Honey…”

        “I know,” she sighs. “I know.”

        “I’m gonna go have a talk with him, see if I can smooth things over a little,” Toby says. “Do you want to help me out or not?”

        That’s all I need to hear. I leap up and crash through the backyard, leaping up at the window and hurtling myself through. I land in a heap in the corner of the room and struggle to pull myself to a standing position. I fix the window screen behind me, ignoring Nate’s plaintive look.

        I throw myself onto the bed and dive under the covers. I hear a snort from Nate. This kid is hard to ignore. I immediately slow my breathing by force, trying to appear rested, just in time before Toby knocks on the door.

        “Yeah, come in,” Nate says dismissively.

        I hear the door creak open. “Michael,” Toby says.

        I stare at the underside of my sheets.

        “Can I have a word?”

        I poke my head out and rub my eyes, trying to seem tired. “Have a few.”

        “Outside?”

        With a great sigh, I heave myself out of bed. I cast a look at Nate as I follow Toby out of the room, and he’s got a little grin fixed on his face. I think he’s enjoying this whole battle of wills. Bastard.

        I follow Toby out onto the screened back porch, where he settles onto the porch swing. I lean up against the screen door. I’m not sitting with him.

        “I see what you’re doing.”

        “What am I doing?” I glance outside, looking for shadows that don’t belong.

        “Pressing us. Trying to see how far you can go before we punish you. So that you can use that as your excuse to rebel.”

        What is this, a therapy session? “I am, huh?”

        “There is a consequence for this. Maria DeLuca.”

        My blood is freezing. This is it. If he says the words, if he even thinks he can keep me away from her, he’s wrong… he’s so wrong… I fix him with the hardest, coldest stare I can manage.

        “She has to come over for dinner. This weekend.”

        I’m not sure if this is better or worse. “Yeah, well, she’s working.”

        “Not the entire weekend. Lunch tomorrow, dinner Sunday, whatever fits her schedule. We have to meet her.”

        “You met her already,” I say coolly.

        “Michael,” Toby says with a sigh, “I realize that you’re used to living your life independent of any family structure. But maybe, just for say a year, you could give it a try.”

        A year? I don’t even plan on being here another month if I can help it. “Why do you want her to come over so badly?”

        He shakes his head at me. “I recognize it’s hard for you to understand. Just… give it a try.”

        I glance away from him. “Fine. Okay. I’ll get her over for dinner.”

        He nods. “Just let us know when.”

        I guess that’s my permission to go. I slink back into the bedroom, avoiding Nate’s glance, and go for the phone to enter Maria’s cell number. I slide into the desk and my head relaxes onto the surface. I stare at the wall.

        “Michael.” Darn that caller ID. She’s figured out the Butler’s number already.

        “Hey. You home yet?”

        “Just turned the Jetta off. What’s new? Are you okay?” She sounds so casual, so relaxed. Like she wasn’t quaking in her boots against me just half an hour ago.

        “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I sigh. “Listen, Toby and Veronica want you to come over for dinner sometime this weekend.”

        “Toby and Veronica? So you don’t want me yourself?”

        “Hey,” I say in a low warning tone.

        Maria sighs. “Okay. You’ll be there, right?”

        I squint at the phone. “Of course I will.”

        “Just checking. I can come tomorrow night.”

        Saturday night. Gulp. “Sure. Sure, that’s fine.”

        “Are you really okay?” she asks, in a quiet voice. “You sound kinda upset.”

        She can hear that? “I’m fine. Really.” I wait, and hear her sighing into the phone. “I am. Are you?”

        There’s a long pause. “Wow,” she says.

        “Wow, what?”

        “You’ve never asked me how I am before. And meant it.”

        I slump my shoulders. “Maria…”

        “I’ll be okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning for the lunch shift. I’ll even drive you home after for dinner, how’s that?”

        I exhale. “That sounds great…”

        “What are you thinking?”

        “I’m thinking detour,” I say honestly.

        “Hmm,” she says thoughtfully. “Don’t think about it too much, it’ll drive you crazy before then.”

        She knows me. She’s figuring it out. “So it’s okay?”

        I hear the smile in her voice. “We’ll see, I’ll leave it at that. See you tomorrow?”

        “Yeah, see you. Bye.” I hang up the phone and stare at it. I’m already thinking about a detour. She’s right.

        It’s late. I’m tired. Ignoring the fact that Nate is blasting space aliens on the computer – how ironic – I swing my jacket over the bedpost and collapse into bed.

Chapter 24

        “It’s so nice to see what the building looks like beyond the lovely front door,” Maria remarks to me quietly as we stand uncomfortably in front of the dining room table, which Annie has set perfectly.

        I shoot her a withering glance, and she smirks at me.

        “I realize you’re being forced into this,” Maria says, “but at least try and pretend like you’re happy to have me here.”

        “I’m happy to have you,” I say honestly. “Just anywhere but here.”

        “Yeah, okay,” she says, and allows me to plant a brief, friendly peck on her lips, before Nate comes into the dining room.

        “Do you want Coke, Sprite, root beer or water to drink?” he asks, bored and clearly coerced by Toby.

        “Root beer sounds great,” Maria says.

        “Yeah, Coke,” I say.

        “Table service and everything,” she remarks as he exits the dining room. “This is high class, Michael.”

        “Would you quit with the looking-on-the-bright-side shit?”

        “Excuse me for trying to keep this from being a totally miserable Saturday night.”

        “It hasn’t been totally miserable,” I point out, and she considers this thoughtfully. We did have a very good time in the treehouse on our way over from work.

        Veronica enters the dining room. She’s got a pair of jeans and a sweater on. She looks almost… normal. Too normal for my taste.

        “Maria, it’s so good to have you here,” she says, smiling, and extending her hand. I cover my mouth with my hand and look away as they greet each other.

        “Michael’s told us all about you,” Veronica says.

        “Oh, I’m sure he has,” Maria says, not sounding convinced at all. Veronica moves over to the living room to pick up some stuff Annie left lying out. “All about me, huh?” she asks me in a whisper. I nudge her to shut her up. Maria talks way too much as a general rule.

        “Michael, give me a hand with the burgers,” Toby calls from the kitchen. Grudgingly, I wander back through and grab the plate of burgers he’s cooked up. Yeah, after flipping burgers all fucking day at the Crashdown, I can’t wait to dig into this. Hoo, boy.

        I drop the platter down on the dining room table, and Maria jumps as it clatters. “O-kay,” she says, running her necklace through her fingers. “Guerin. Bedroom. Now.”

        Three words I don’t mind hearing from her mouth, though I know the implication isn’t the one I’m hoping for. She drags me through the house to my bedroom, where she closes the door firmly and faces me.

        “Michael Guerin,” Maria begins. “I recognize that this situation represents one of your worst nightmares. I recognize that you don’t want me here. But if you want anything like what you got back in that treehouse,” she says, lowering her voice and raising an eyebrow, “you are going to behave like a human. If at all possible.”

        “I’m not-“ I start to say.

        “ Fake it,” she says in a voice that clearly means she’s not kidding.

        “Just don’t fool yourself into thinking these people are any kind of a family,” I retort. “You’re not meeting my parents, Maria. You’re meeting people I barely know who are trying to monopolize my life. You’re meeting my jailers.”

        “Right, but we can at least be civil about it,” she snaps.

        The door bursts open, revealing Annie. “Dinner’s ready, Maria,” she says.

        “Thanks, honey,” Maria says. She turns to raise an eyebrow at me again.

        “Maria, you’re sitting next to me,” Annie says.

        “Of course,” Maria agrees.

        “Wait a minute,” I say, feeling extremely petulant.

        “You can sit on my other side,” she says, reaching up to pat my shoulder. I glare at her again before letting her march me back to the dining room, where she firmly directs me into a chair. I’m fuming before Toby and Veronica even reach us.

        Burgers, macaroni and cheese, potato salad. Gross. Maria shoots me a look as I bite into the pasta, and I know she can tell I’m trying to choke the stuff down. It has practically no taste to me.

        “You gonna put anything on that?” she asks me, curiously. I shake my head, trying to cue her. Not here. Not anything to reveal that I’m different.

        Like the fact that I can barely taste this food.

        “Maria, how many hours a week do you put in at the Crashdown?” Toby asks, sipping his Sprite.

        “Twenty to twenty-five,” Maria says, “depending on how many waitresses we have, which kind of fluctuates. I work mostly weekends, some breakfast, some dinner shifts.”

        “Michael’s just starting out with twelve hours a week,” Toby points out.

        “Yeah, I know,” Maria says. “I mean, we’re scheduled on the same timetable.” Her foot lands on top of mine and jiggles it a little. That’s not so bad.

        “How do you like working there?” Veronica asks.

        “Oh, it’s great,” Maria says. “The money’s good. The tips, anyway. I practically grew up there, too, my best friend’s parents are the owners.” I stare down at my food, trying to get it into my mouth to ease my hunger despite the bland, slimy taste.

        “The Parkers?” Toby asks.

        “Right,” Maria confirms.

        “I was a Boy Scout with Jeff,” Toby recalls. I fucking hate small towns. “How’s your mother’s store doing, Maria?”

        “Fine,” Maria says, apparently flattered that he’s aware of it. “The tourist industry is really picking up. We see it at the restaurant, too. All this Alien Autopsy stuff, and the X-Files, it’s, like, good for business, you know?”

        “Do you believe in aliens?” Annie asks.

        “I most certainly do,” Maria says. And this time, Maria’s word is enough to end the conversation. How interesting. She’s holding all the cards at this table. I stare over at her again in a new light. “The fact that aliens pay for most of my living expenses doesn’t hurt,” she says. “You know.”

        I can’t believe how Veronica is nodding in agreement with her. This is the last thing I would have expected.

        My guardian is a kiss-ass. It’s just not my ass she’s kissing.

        “This food is delicious,” Maria says, stomping on my foot at the same time. I guess I was making a face again.

        “Oh, thank you,” Toby says. “So how did you and Michael meet?” he asks. “Did you have a class together, mutual friends?”

        “Um, mutual friends,” Maria says after a moment’s hesitation. I guess the ‘his best friend healed my best friend’ story won’t go over well, and neither will the ‘he kidnapped me and stole my car’ line of reasoning.

        “And how long have you been together?” he asks. I practically choke on my burger, with an audible gulp. ‘Together’?

        “I apologize for Michael,” Maria says smoothly. “Um, I guess it’s been about four months now.” Four months? She’s counting from the first kiss? She glances at me and shrugs. “We didn’t really establish an exact date or anything.”

        “Right, it just sort of happened,” I say, uncomfortable. Maria seems to brighten at me opening my mouth, though.

        “Well, that’s sweet,” Veronica muses. “You weren’t working the day of the shooting, were you?”

        “Oh,” Maria says smoothly, “I was, actually.” She’s in the police report, so she might as well tell the truth.

        “You were?”

        “Yeah. It was kind of scary, but everyone was okay. I mean, like, you just don’t expect something like that to happen downtown in plain daylight, you know? It was definitely with the bizarre. But we were fine,” she repeats. A little too obviously. I remember my first night with the Butlers’ emphasizing the main point, and I wonder if we don’t look suspicious. No one was hurt. Everyone was okay. We were fine. It’s like a mantra. “Mmm, love these burgers,” she says again. She kicks me under the table. “Quit scowling,” she whispers at me, before turning back to the Butlers. “Again, I’m terribly sorry,” she says to them.

        “Would you cut that out?” I ask her darkly.

        “Would you at least try and act normal?” she hisses back.

        “Can I have some more potato salad?” Annie asks.

        “Michael, pass her the potato salad,” Maria orders. I grab the dish and shove it in Maria’s direction. She rolls her eyes as she takes it from me. “You’re treading,” she hisses.

        “Treading on what?”

        “Just don’t make any faces.”

        “I’m not making faces.” I glance up and notice that Veronica and Toby and Nate are all watching our quiet argument with interest, and turn back to my burger.

        “So Nate, how’s the baseball team doing?” Maria asks.

        “Not bad,” he says. “We won all three of our games last week. Including the one against West Roswell,” he points out.

        “I know, I was there,” she says. “It was a pretty good contest, though.”

        “Yeah, we let ‘em get ahead for awhile,” Nate says cockily. “We knew we had them in the end, though.”

        “That’s not what it looked like for the first seven innings,” Maria points out.

        “Nate’s one of two freshman on the varsity team,” Toby points out. “And the only one who plays in the starting line-up every game.”

        “Right field,” Nate says with a shrug.

        “He’s very skilled,” Veronica adds, like she knows anything about baseball at all.

        “’s fun,” Nate says, his voice wavering a little. “I like it.”

        “Not to change the subject,” Veronica said, “but Maria, what are you and Michael doing Thursday afternoon?” I notice Nate squirming already.

        “Maybe working, the schedule comes out tomorrow,” Maria said. “Why?” She glances at me. I’m squirming, too.

“Well, Toby and Nate and I have somewhere to be, and we were wondering if you could hang out with Annie.”

        “Why, where are you going?” Annie bursts out. I notice that Nate is staring down at his plate, slumping. He’s stopped eating.

        “We have an… appointment,” Veronica says, after a look from Toby.

        I don’t mind hanging out with Annie, but being forced to babysit is ridiculous. “What, do we get paid for this?” I ask.

        “Michael,” Maria hisses at me, and I catch Annie’s wounded look. Maria throws her glance back to Veronica. “Sure, I’ll ask Mr. Parker not to schedule us for work. We can find something fun to do. Right, Michael?” she asks, a little too forcefully.

        “Right,” I say, moving my foot away before she can stomp on it. “Where do you guys have to be?”

        “Nowhere,” Nate says, glaring at them before anything can be said. The topic of conversation turns to the birthday party Annie went to today, but I’m not listening. Instead, I’m wondering what was so secretive that Nate won’t tell me where they’re going.

Chapter 25

        Sunday. The church service is over. I can’t take all the people nosing into my business this time, so instead I vanish to explore the church alone.

        I wander down a desolate corridor of the Unitarian church, staring at the sunlight streaming in through the window. It’s casting stripes on the floor. Almost like a prison.

        I feel like I’m in a prison. A prison where I’m only allowed visitors on an occasional basis. A prison where I have to work my ass off, going nowhere at the same time. A prison where at any time I could be moved to total isolation and possibly even torture.

        I enter the foyer and jump back. “Hey,” I say with surprise, regarding the familiar figure sitting in the foyer alone. He’s leaning on the card table, his head relaxing on his outstretched arm, but he jolts up to see me.

        “Hey,” Nate greets me suspiciously. Everyone else has moved outside for the community picnic they’re having. The kids are doing some play they wrote themselves. I could care less.

        “Why aren’t you…?” I jerk my thumb in the direction of the other Unitarian potheads.

        Nate just shakes his head. “Not feeling it today.”

        “Oh,” is all I can come up with to say. “That’s a surprise.”

        “Not really,” Nate says in a tired voice.

        “Whadya mean?”

        Nate lays his head back down on the crook of his arm and turns away from me. His response is silence.

        I lean back against the wall and regard him with a long stare. “Look. Being pathetic is not going to win you any pity from me.”

        “I’m not fucking trying for your pity. Leave me the fuck alone.”

        I stare at him for a long moment, and a few things start to fall together. Nate crying late at night. This weird “appointment” Thursday that he doesn’t want me to know about. The way he sometimes exchanges funny looks with Veronica and Toby when somebody says the wrong thing.

        “This is about your appointment on Thursday, huh?” I ask, suddenly curious.

        I jump back, startled, as a Bible from the table comes hurtling towards me. It misses by about an inch. I stare back at Nate.

        “Didn’t think you pitched,” I say after a moment. Right field, right? Well, apparently the kid can throw.

        “Go away,” Nate says in an extremely quiet voice.

        “Okay,” I say, but stay where I am. I fold my arms.

        “I said, leave me the fuck alone,” he says a little louder.

        “Yeah, where the hell am I gonna go?” I ask, jerking my thumb in the direction of the picnic.

        “Anywhere,” he says into his arm.

        “Maybe I like seeing you pathetic,” I point out.

        “Get lost.”

        “No.” I move over to the table where he’s sitting, plop down in the empty chair, and scoot in towards him.

        Nate pushes back from the table and jumps up, heading for the door.

        “What’s the appointment for?” I ask. “If I’m stuck babysitting, I have a right to know.”

        “You don’t have the right to anything!” he says as he whirls on me. “You invade my life, take over half my room, all of a sudden everything is about you. Your friends. Your girlfriend. Your grades.”

        “What the hell is your problem?” I demand. “You make it sound like my life is a piece of cake. Do you even know what I’ve been through? What I go through? No, I’ll tell you, you don’t. You can’t.”

        “Ditto!” he shouts at me. “Don’t even try and pretend like I’m the one who should be thankful here.”

        I start to laugh a little. “Maybe both our lives suck,” I say, and he stops glaring at me long enough to give a hint of a smile. But then the cold stare is back.

        “You don’t know the first thing about me,” he says, narrowing his eyes.

        “So you’re an orphan,” I say. “Tough shit. Join the club, man.”

        “No,” Nate says, shaking his head slowly. “Fuck that.”

        “What do you mean?” I lean back and return his stare.

        Nate exhales a deep breath. “I lied.”

        “What?” I narrow my eyes at him.

        “I’m… I’m not an orphan.” He glances away.

        “Then what are you?”

        Nate leans up against the wall now, and I’m staring at him closely as he looks into the distance and his eyes glaze over a bit. “When I was three and a half,” he says, “my mom got, like, really hyped up. She left me alone in the house for a week.” I don’t know what to say, so I let him go on. He glances down at his sneakers. “Yeah. And then social services took me away.”

        “Wow,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry.” I wonder what he’s not saying. I can tell there’s a lot more to that story than he’s ever going to tell me. Just like there’s a lot more to my own abandonment than I’m ever going to tell him.

        He’s wiping at his eyes now, trying to pretend like he’s not at all upset. “Yeah. Thing is, she’s got it together now. Or she thinks she does.”

        “She wants custody,” I say slowly, and he nods.

        “We got a hearing on Thursday. She’s gonna get visitation, there’s no way around that. Custody’s up in the air.” He says it all so casually, like it’s not his entire life up for grabs.

        “And what do you want?”

        “I want it to be over!” he bursts out.

        I can understand that sentiment. “Do you see her a lot?”

        He shakes his head. “She’s been in and out of rehab,” he says casually with a shrug. “She had visitation for awhile when I was in middle school. It sucked, we didn’t do anything exciting. She’s not real fun to talk to.”

        “But she’s your mom,” I say.

        Nate shrugs again.

        “I wish I could see my mom,” I say honestly. “I don’t even know what she looks like.” Ain’t it the truth.

        “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” he says. “She was so stressed out about the whole visitation thing that she’d get coked up before our visits. The social workers kinda caught onto that.” He cracks a small smile. I don’t feel any motivation to return it.

        “I don’t really do the family thing well,” I muse. “I’m more of a solo kind of person.”

“Is that why you and Maria bicker so much?”

“Hey, when did we get on me and Maria? Leave it alone.”

        Now Nate grins at me. “Dude, I thought you were going to bite her head off at dinner last night.”

        “I said leave it.”

        “Yeah, I’ll leave it alone as much as you left me the fuck alone. Do you guys always fight like that?”

        “No,” I say immediately. “Maybe. Sometimes.” I shake my head. “Not always.”

        “So what keeps you together?”

        You mean besides the mindblowing makeout sessions? Well… “I guess we kind of like it that way.”

        “How did you guys get together in the first place?” he asks with interest, moving back over to join me at the table.

        I crack a smile. “Long story,” I say.

        “Really. I came clean with you. Tell me.”

        It wouldn’t hurt to tell him. “You can’t tell Toby and Veronica. If you do…”

        “Yeah, yeah. I think we’re both effectively gathering enough dirt on each other to stay silent for a long, long time,” Nate says. Oh, and what he doesn’t know.

“Okay,” I say. “I kidnapped her.”

”You what?” he asked. “Like, in a…” He raises his eyebrows. “…way?”

“No, no,” I say. “I needed to go somewhere, and I needed a car, so I took hers. Only she was in it.”

        “Hold on and back up. You stole her car?”

        “Yeah. And she got in it.” I smile a little. I’m almost enjoying reliving this. And Nate’s in a much better mood all of a sudden.

        “That is so not in your file.”

        “Well, obviously,” I say. “We wound up kinda involved, remember?”

        “Yeah,” he says. “So what happened?”

        I stare outside at the yard as I reflect. “We went to Texas, but the car died on the way. So we had to spend the night in a motel together.”

“No way.”

I can’t believe I’m telling him all this. “Nothing happened,” I say. “I mean, not then. But it was like we hated each other with a passion before that, and afterwards, we just… hated each other passionately. I can’t explain it.”

        “So maybe I should try kidnapping,” he says thoughtfully.

        “I wouldn’t recommend it,” I say. “I think that kind of thing can only work once in the universe.” I pause, thinking about how much I still can’t tell the kid. “And if you’re me.”

        “I can’t believe she didn’t turn you in.”

        “She almost did,” I say. “But Maria’s cooler than that.”

        “Do you love her?” he asks.

        I stare at the ground, at the shadows coming in through the window, the shadows of my prison. “I don’t know,” I say slowly. I glance up. “How am I supposed to even know what love is?” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with Nate Fucking Westing.

        “Well, what do you think?”

        “I like her a lot,” I say truthfully. “She pisses the hell out of me… But I keep going back for more.”

        “I wish I had somebody like that,” Nate says wistfully. “Hell, I’ll take the fighting, even.”

“It’s definitely worth it,” I say. I hesitate. “I think.”

”I just want the sex,” Nate says, and after a moment I burst out laughing.

“What?”

”Here we are having a serious discussion about true love and all you can think about is sex?”

“Is there a difference?”
       
“Maria and I aren’t sleeping together, dude.”

        Nate stares at me for a long, long moment. “Then what do you do?”

        “We’re close,” I say. “I mean… look, it’s none of your business what we do and don’t do together. But… right.”

        I would. I would drop my pants and fuck her silly in a heartbeat. I know it. I want to be completely inside of her, to wrap myself in the parts of her I still haven’t seen, and be in absolute, perfect bliss. There’s nothing I want more than that. I think about it all the time. But I’m afraid. It’s not a moral issue. I’m afraid of what I could do to her, afraid of what she could do to me. It’s not safe. Hence, we find other things to do. Things that Maria is also quite good at.

        And I mean good.

        “Maybe you’re not so bad,” I say thoughtfully, glancing at him.

        “Maybe you are,” he spits back at me, and after a moment, we both laugh.

        I can’t believe this. Nate and I are laughing together. We’re having a serious discussion, and we’re laughing together.

“Look,” I say, searching for some way to be reassuring. “Don’t worry too much about that hearing.”

        “Easy for you to say,” Nate says.

        “No, really,” I say. “There’s this new trend with teenage services. I’m getting it from my new caseworker all the time. It’s the ‘what do you want with your life’ deal. They’re falling all over themselves to make us happy.”

Nate looks at me curiously. “That doesn’t mean the judge we get on Friday is gonna give a crap what I want.”

        “Think about it,” I say. “What do you want, anyway?” I know I sound like Liz all of a sudden, and it’s not a thought that thrills me. But I can’t shake the fact that Liz was right.

        “I want my mom to be normal,” he says quietly.

        “What if she is? What if she’s turned her life around?”

        “She’s not capable,” Nate says.

        “Are you sure about that?”

        He stares at me. “What would you know about it, huh?”

        “Nothing,” I say truthfully. “I’m just askin’.”

        He shakes his head at me. “I don’t know why I even bothered,” he says, before he turns to storm out of the room.

        “Me either,” I say aloud to the empty room. Me, either.

Chapter 26

        Tuesday night I have my first emancipation class. I twist Maria into driving me there on her dinner break, which she’s clearly not too thrilled about. She said she wasn’t going to let this whole Max-Liz thing bother her, but that’s crap, cause she is. She can’t shut up about what Liz said about Max, or what Max did for Liz… it’s damn annoying. By the time we get to the social services building, I’m ready to go sit in a stupid two-hour class just to get away from her. Goodbye kiss, my ass.

        The Jetta rolls around in the parking lot as Maria turns to get back onto the road. “Michael,” she calls after me through her open window, and I stop to turn around. I was almost through the glass doors of the building.

        “Good luck,” she says softly. After a moment, I give her a half-smile, and the Jetta roars off, down the road, leaving me all alone.

        But the class itself sucks. It’s times like this I really wish Max and Isabel hadn’t been “adopted”. That one difference, that one legal difference between them and me is what puts me in this stupid class and gives them a “family”. I could do without the family bit myself; I just wonder sometimes what would have happened if they’d been left as foster kids like me. If we’d all been together in this.

        I wind up sitting in the very back row. It’s a popular place to be; nobody’s in the front of the room at all. Just eleven bad-ass foster teenagers in one room. It’s a bad combination. There’s a chick sitting next to me, Viv, who I’ve seen around at West Roswell, she’s in my geometry class this year. She spends the entire time “translating” the class for me and the guy on her other side.

        “This guy is assuming we gonna be in a low income tax bracket,” she says. “Lookit me, I plan to be a rock star. I ain’t gonna be no waitress. Won’t catch me doin’ food service.”       

“Hey, I do food service,” I say. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, and you gonna be doin’ that when you’re thirty?” she asks.
       
“Hell, no.” I plan to be on the fast train home by then.

        “See?” Viv asks, snapping her gum. I shrug, conceding. Viv’s not too bad.

        As darkness settles over the town, I see something out of the corner of my eye, like movement outside the window. My head shoots over to look. If there was something there, it was gone. Probably just an animal. But I can’t shake the feeling that here I am, with a bunch of unprotected humans, late at night. You want to pick up the alien kid? Sure, steal him after class.

        There’s been no word from Topolsky, and that’s plenty to keep me on my toes.

        “So I didn’t know you were a foster, too,” I say casually to Viv, as we make our way to the front of the building. I just want any excuse to have someone to walk with. I don’t want to be out there alone, just in case Toby’s not there to pick me up yet. We still don’t know who’s looking for me.

        “Yeah,” she says. “For the moment.” She leans in conspiratorially. “My dad was a shit,” she says. “I got me and my sisters out of there.”

        “Uh, sorry.”

        “Don’t be, I’m not,” she says. “I did what I had to do.”

        “Good for you.” I’m not sure what else to say. “My last foster dad was a shit, too.” Probably in a slightly different way than she’s talking about, or at least that’s my hunch, but I can relate. “I just got moved a couple of weeks ago.”

        “How’s it working for you?”

        “It sucks, too,” I say honestly. “How’s yours?”

        “Well, I got two of my sisters with me, and my foster mom’s real nice.”

        “Two? How many do you have?”

        “Four,” she says darkly. “The little ones are together, too, though. We get to visit ‘em twice a week, our parents talk and everything.” She shrugs. “It could be worse.”

        Separated from her sisters. I can relate. I just can’t tell her. Imagine, if you would Viv, being separated from your siblings and not able to tell anyone that you are siblings. Because then they’d start asking questions. How are you so sure you’re family? We’re not. Except for the fact that we’re the only people who can…

        “Hey, Michael?” Viv asks, stopping and turning to me in the parking lot. “If you don’t mind, don’t say anything about it at school, okay? I mean, like, the teachers know and all, but I don’t want rumors or anything.”

        “Then why’d you tell me?” I ask.

        Her face darkens. “What, you can’t keep a secret? I just thought, since you was in the system, too, maybe you’d understand.”

        I nod at her, slowly. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I won’t tell.” I know what it’s like to not want everybody knowing your private business. Boy, do I ever.

        “People don’t understand, you know? What it’s like.”

        “No,” I say. “They really don’t.” I think of Max, reminding me that I get better food at the Butlers. Maria, shocked to find paperwork proving that the Butlers really do get a paycheck for housing my ass. Isabel, getting all upset about Hank knocking me around a little. Liz, getting on my case for not sharing the inner workings of my heart with my stupid caseworker. They don’t understand at all.

I spot the car in the parking lot. No waiting. I breathe a quiet sigh of relief. Waiting alone in a dark parking lot is not where I want to be right now. “Hey, there’s my foster dad, I gotta go.”

        “Yeah, see you in geometry,” Viv says, and I nod to her before hopping into the station wagon with Toby Butler. Viv seems cool enough, like someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know better if not for the fact that she doesn’t know I’m an alien. And I don’t like to spend much time with anyone who could be a risk.

        “Hey there, Michael, how was class?” he asks.

        “Okay,” I mumble, sliding into the backseat. I drop my books on the seat, and as the car lurches forward they slide onto the floor with a crash. The folded-up papers for my homework assignments come tumbling out, and I lean forward to gather them. I’m not used to carrying this many books with me.

“Huh,” Toby says, observing this as he glances back at me. “Maybe we should buy you a bookbag. Want to go shopping this weekend?”

        A bookbag. Yet another super-domestic thing. I never had a bookbag, I always just carried whatever books I felt like using, which was never all that many, with me.

        “Nah, it’s fine,” I say.

        “You got much homework?”

        “Did it at the Crash.” I wasn’t technically working this afternoon, so I spent he afternoon in a booth by myself watching Maria and half-heartedly trying to do my assignments.

        “You sure you don’t want something to carry all those around in? You could use some new clothes, too, some of your old stuff looks kinda beat.”

        “I said it’s fine,” I say.

        Toby sighs and shakes his head. I glance away, staring out the window. Dark shadows in the night. Which one could be lurking to try and find out what I am? To capture me? Does Toby know? What if I’ve already been captured? I slump back in my seat, watching the shadows flicker by. What if he’s driving me to a secret compound right now, not home at all, so that they can start doing tests to figure out what I am?

        “When’s my doctor appointment?” I ask suddenly.

        Toby blinks a little. “A week from Thursday. Do you think you can handle that?”

        “Maybe,” I say. “Look, I just hate doctors, all right?”

        “I sympathize with you,” Toby says, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. “But you should get checked out anyway. Some of your shots aren’t even up to date.” His voice fades a little. Like I’m worried about a little shot. A vaccine I don’t mind. Our systems can handle that. It’s the blood drawing that I’m more worried about.

        “I guess Hank wasn’t too big on the medical thing,” I admit.

        Toby licks his lips. I see it coming. It’s the first time I’ve mentioned Hank around him, and he’s gonna pounce on it. I shouldn’t have said anything. “No offense, Michael, but he wasn’t big on much of anything, was he?”

        “Naw,” I say, trying to offer up a relieved laugh. “He really wasn’t.” Except for mixed drinks and chicken teriyaki. And women, not that he got very far in that department. Hell, I’ve gotten farther than good old Hank ever did in the whole time I lived there.

        “Not on you, either, was he?”       

        I swallow. What is Toby aiming at here? “No.”

He hated me. He detested me. Thought I was worthless. Sure, he got money for keeping me, but he’d rather have had a kid who always did what he told him to, who never answered back. But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t be the perfect kid for him, because I hated him so much. Because I was so afraid of him.

“Veronica and I are concerned about you,” Toby says. “Michael, I know you don’t trust us. And I know you’re not used to having someone be worried about you.” He only says that because he doesn’t know Max, Isabel, Maria and Liz. Good lord. “But we are.”

        “You don’t have to be,” I say automatically. “I’m fine.”

        “We’re not in this for the money,” he says carefully. “We want to help.”

        “Then help me by letting me take care of myself.” And stay the fuck out of my business.

        “If you want to take care of yourself so badly, then prove you can.”

        “Isn’t that why I’m taking this stupid class anyway?”

        “How was the class?”

        “I told you, it was stupid.” I push back in the seat, kicking the back of the front passenger seat.

        “Give it a chance, Michael. You never know.”

        But I do. I do know. Only this fucker won’t leave me alone about it.

Chapter 27

        “I’m just stuck on the fact that you had a normal conversation with the kid.”

        I turn to glare at Max as he steers the jeep out of the spot we found downtown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

        It’s Wednesday afternoon and I’m not working today, thank god. Maria’s pissed at me for something I can’t even figure out, and I need to be somewhere other than at the Butlers’ house or the Crashdown. I’ve been filling Max in on Nate and his familial issues.

        “Just that I know you hate his guts,” Max says calmly. “Maybe you two can bond.”

        Yeah, and maybe Nate’s a space alien, too. “I don’t think so, Maxwell.”

        “I mean, would it kill you to branch out a little?”

        “You’re one to talk.” Max is about the shyest kid at school. Even I talk to more people than he does. I don’t know when the last time was that he had a conversation with anyone outside our circle of friends, that wasn’t academic-related.

        He shrugs, and smiles a little as we drive through the streets of downtown Roswell. “I talked to Liz.”

        “Yeah, and now you’re dating her. You want me to hook up with Nate?”

        His smile widens. “That’d be interesting to see.”

        “Shut the hell up,” I say, but I can’t keep myself from laughing a little.

        It’s good to spend time with Max again. The two of us have maybe been drifting apart a little these last couple of weeks. I know he can sense it, too. Part of me is still angry with him for this attitude he’s been pulling lately, but hell, it’s Max. The guy’s basically my brother.

        That’s all crap. The real reason we’ve been drifting apart is that suddenly I’m not crashing at his house every other night. Because unlike Hank, Toby would be none too pleased to discover me missing in the middle of the night.

        I miss the Evans house. The funny air freshener that Max’s mom uses around the house. Or the smell of her cooking breakfast in the morning, before I slipped out the window to go to school hungry. The feel of Max’s sleeping bag against the carpet. Sure, my bed at the trailer was somewhat more comfortable, but it wasn’t as secure. Max’s room at night used to be the only place I felt secure, even when I was sneaking around his mom and dad.

        And now I don’t have that any more.

        Instead, I have Nate Fucking Westing bitching and moaning at me about his coked up mother. Granted, I feel for the kid. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

        “You got a lot of homework tonight?” Max asks.

        I wince. Isabel’s started reigning in volunteers for the campaign. “No,” I say. “I got five proofs to do for geometry.”

        “You need any help?

        “No,” I say firmly, then sigh. I spent most of the lecture today fuming after the altercation Maria and I had in the hallway. When she told me she was ditching me after school. I don’t have a clue what the teacher was droning on about. “Maybe.” Max took honors geometry last year.

        “How are you and geometry getting along?”

        “Not well,” I say with honesty. “It doesn’t like me.”

        Max snorts. “But is the feeling mutual?”

        “Course it is.”

        “What’s your average in there right now?”

        “Max…”

        “Look,” he says as he turns into his subdivision, “I’ve barely seen you these last two weeks as it is, between Maria and the Butlers and everything. I’m not gonna let you get transferred to another school and be on the other side of town every day.”

        I sigh. As annoying as the extra attention is, I can’t deny that it feels good to be wanted. Maybe I’m fishing for it a little.

        “I got a 74,” I say. “Last I checked.”

        “You’re checking, though?”

        “Yeah.”

        Max nods. “Okay. We can work with that. If you want, I’ll go over some stuff with you this afternoon.”

        Want is a relative term in this case. “Why the hell not?” I sigh.

        Max pulls the jeep into the driveway of his house and turns it off. I hop out and walk around to the side entrance.

        “Look at you, coming in the door for once,” Max says, amused, as he follows. I wait as he fishes in his bookbag for the keys, and unlocks the door to the utility room.

        “Your mom around?” I ask. His dad’s always at the office this time of day.

        “Her car wasn’t in the driveway,” Max says. “I don’t think she’s here.” He reaches for a note on the dining room table, and I lean over him to read it. ‘Max + Izzy – went to the hair salon. How do tacos sound for dinner? Be home by 5. Love, Mom.’ So goddamn domestic.

        “Isabel?” Max yells, and I jump back. We wait for a response. “She’s not home yet. Want to stay for dinner?”

        “My curfew’s still six,” I say as we make our way back to the stairwell.

        “Does that apply now that the Butlers know us?” Max asks as we thunder up the stairs to his bedroom. I pull myself up the stairs hanging off the rail.

        “I don’t know,” I say as we reach the second floor. “Gotta check on that.”

        “Maybe you can check tonight? C’mon, Mom’s tacos are great.”

        I never used to stay over for dinner, all the times that Max and Isabel invited me too, but after my disastrous stint a couple weeks ago at their house, I’m suddenly feeling capable of handling it.

        “Maybe,” I say. We enter his room and close the door. He tosses the phone at me.

        “Call and see.”

        With a shrug, I punch the Butlers’ number into the phone. After a couple of rings, Annie picks up.

        “Hello?”

        “Hey, Annie. Is Veronica there?”

        “Hold on,” she says. “Veronica!” I jump back from the phone as she screams. Girl’s gotta learn to hold the phone away when she does that. “She’s coming. Michael, you’re gonna miss Rosie again, she’s on in ten minutes.”

        “Yeah, sorry about that,” I say, lowering my voice a little and glancing defensively at Max.

        “Want me to tape it for you?”

        “That’s okay, really.”

        “Fine, then,” she pouts, and after a moment I hear Veronica’s voice on the line.

        “Michael?” she asks.

        “Yeah, hi. I’m gonna eat dinner with the Evanses tonight, is that okay?”

        I can completely hear her pursing her lips into the phone. “Did their mom say it was okay?”

        “She’s not here. It’s fine, I’m always welcome here. Max invited me.”

        She waits for a moment. “What about your homework?”

        “Max is helping me,” I say, glancing up at him reluctantly. “He’s tutoring me.”

        “I want to see it when you get home.”

        “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

        “Michael,” she says in a warning tone.

        I can’t help my attitude. It comes out. If you don’t like it, get a new foster kid. “I’ll show it to you when I get home.”

        “Nine o’ clock.”

        “Nine. Sure.” I hang up the phone. “I think I just got permission.”

        Max grins as he sits down in his desk chair, straddling it backwards. “You’re sure about that?” I give him a withering look, and he pats the back of the chair. “So. Geometry.”

        “Can’t we, you know, watch TV first? Put on some music?”

        “I’ll put on some music. But we’re gonna do your geometry.”

        “We?”

        He sighs. “You’re gonna do it, and I’m gonna make sure you do it right.”

        “I’m thirsty.”

        Max rolls his eyes at me. “C’mon, Michael, do you want passing grades or not?”

        “I have passing grades!” I remind him. He doesn’t reply, merely stands up and leaves the room. I follow him back downstairs.

        “One drink, and then we’re working,” he says firmly.

        “Yeah, who are you, my father?”

        “How’s Maria?” he asks.

        I sigh. “Not good.”

        “What’s wrong?”

        “Well, you know when we got together it was pretty much physical.”

        “Yeah,” he says, grinning a little as we thud down the stairs.

        “And it was this, like, mutual understanding. And then it was over, but then we were back together, and these last couple of weeks it’s been different. Better.” I lick my lips as we reach the ground floor and tread towards the kitchen. “We’re… we’re talking. She’s helping me with stuff. So now she says what we’ve got isn’t good enough. She wants more.”

        “You mean like…” Max moves to open the refrigerator.

        “No. If that's what she wanted, would I be here talking to you? She wants the romance thing. The thing that you and Liz got.”

        “Is that what you want?”

        I spot a container of orange juice and move in to grab it. “I just want to make her happy. And you’re gonna tell me how to do it.”

        “It’s not like there’s a handbook.”

        I take a swig out of the OJ container. “I’m serious, Max. Things are getting frosty. She went to the French club meeting today instead of meeting me in the eraser room. The French club… what the hell is that?” I take another swig.

        “All right, romantic.” He reaches for a glass and hands it to me pointedly. “When you’re with her, act like she’s, like, the only girl in the room.” I pour the juice into a glass.

        “She’s usually the only other person in the room.”

        “That’s a good start. Try taking her out, someplace nice.” I nod as I take another sip of juice. “And, uh, surprises. They love surprises. Like, you know, little things, like a note in her locker, or a flower in the middle of the day.”

        “How do you know women so well?” I startle at the unfamiliar voice. Max and I slowly turn around and there’s a tiny blonde girl in a red dress… way too low cut… emerging from the hallway.

        “Don’t let me stop you, this is fascinating,” she says, with a half-smile. I glance back at Max, who is as confused as I am.

        “Who are you?” he asks her suspiciously.

        Isabel emerges behind the stranger. “She’s my friend,” she offers with a smile, before pushing through me and Max to get to the fridge.

        “How come we’ve never met her before?” I ask, pulling back to let Isabel pass.

        She stops and whirls around at me. “God, Michael, could you be any more rude?”

        “Actually, it’s kind of refreshing,” the blond chick says. “I’m Tess.”

        “This is my brother, Max,” Isabel says, moving back to us, “and our friend Michael.” She sounds a little exasperated to introduce me. Whatever, I was invited here, I’m staying.

        “Nice to meet you,” the girl says. I stare down at her. She’s really short. She looks kind of familiar, but I know I haven’t seen her around school. I’m positive. Then why does her face look so familiar? Maybe she went to middle school with us.

        Isabel reaches through us to hand Tess a drink. “Here you go,” she says. “I’ll meet you back at my room.”

        “Oh, don’t forget the extra sugar,” Tess says.

        “’Kay,” Isabel says, giving her a half-smile. The three of us watch the tiny girl turn and leave.

        As soon as Tess is out of sight, Isabel looks at us with disdain. “What’s wrong with you guys? She just moved here. I’m helping her catch up.”

        Just moved here? Guess I don’t know her from middle school. “She looked pretty caught up to me.” Isabel gives me a look. “Topolsky was a plant when she showed up at school,” I remind her. “This girl could be, too.”

        Isabel just gives me a sad smile. “She’s a transfer student, Michael.”

        “She’s a stranger, Isabel,” Max says, but I see the look in his face. He thinks she looks familiar, too. There’s something really unsettling about that girl, and I can’t put my finger on it.

        “Well, it’s not like I’m gonna fall in love with her and tell her our secret and compromise our very existence.” She has a point. Isabel turns to make her way back upstairs with her soda. “I thought we were supposed to be acting normal, right? Think of the job you two just did.” With a last pointed look, Isabel turns to go back upstairs with her soda.

        I glance at Max. “I don’t like this,” I say.

        “You’re the one who was just bonding with your foster brother.”

        “I wasn’t bonding… and that’s different,” I say. “Something about that girl gives me the creeps.”

        All Max can do is nod with me.

Chapter 28

        It’s not much, but I spent pretty much all of my savings on the damn treehouse, and I still don’t get paid at the Crashdown until tomorrow. I take one last look at the bunch of wildflowers I picked out on the hill during PE class, and shove them into the crack between Maria’s locker. They lose a few petals, but I hear them drop down softly into the darkness. I hope to god Max is right, I can’t take anymore of this. If I don’t get some soon, I’m gonna explode.

        She was kinda snippy on the way into school today, and we’ve got to babysit Annie this afternoon. And I really don’t want to be fighting the whole time we’re with Annie. For some reason I find myself starting to feel really protective of Annie.

        I stare at Maria’s locker for another moment before starting down the empty hall. Class started a minute ago, I’m already late for geometry.

        I hear footsteps, and almost collide with Max Evans as he comes barreling around the corner.

        “Maxwell, your math class is that way,” I say.

        He grabs my arm tightly and yanks me up by the water fountain. “Liz met Topolsky last night,” he says in a low, almost inaudible whisper.

        “What?” I ask, not quite believing. “We agreed, and she went behind our back?”

        “No,” Max says, impatiently. “Topolsky tricked her, she thought she was meeting me. Michael, she said we’re in trouble. There’s…” He lowers his voice again. “There’s an alien hunter,” he mouths the last two words silently, my eyes are riveted to his mouth, “in the FBI. Looking for me. Looking for us.”

        Great way to start the day, I reflect for a moment. Just another day of craziness in the life of Michael Guerin. “What, so we believe Topolsky now?” I ask. “She’s a liar. She’s always been a liar.”

        “Liz is scared,” Max says, and I shrug dismissively. “Topolsky said she’s in danger, too, Michael. Liz. Alex. Maria. All six of us.”

“This is fucking ridiculous.”

“I’m not disagreeing with you,” Max says, his voice tight, “but we have to talk. We’re all meeting at the rock formation by the old reservoir this afternoon. You can say whatever you want to say then. To everyone.”

        This afternoon? “Maria and I have to babysit Annie this afternoon.”

        “I have to close at the museum,” Max says, “and Alex has band rehearsal tonight. We have to meet this afternoon.”

        I nod slowly. We’ll figure out something to do with Annie. “Okay. After school?”

        Max nods. “Travel separately. You and Maria take the Jetta. I’ll get the others.”

        “We’ll have Annie with us,” I say. “Maybe she can wait in the car.”

        Max inhales sharply. “Michael…”

        “We can’t leave her alone, and who else is gonna watch her?”

        “Fine,” Max says. “Figure something out. Three forty-five?”

        “Okay,” I say slowly. “Three forty-five.”

        I slide into my seat in Geometry, five minutes late, with barely a glance from the teacher, who puts a check next to my name in the attendance book. So I’m tardy, go to hell. Viv is trying to whisper to me through class, but I tune her out. Just cause I know her stupid secret about being a foster kid and all, doesn’t mean we’re suddenly connected. I have bigger things to worry about right now. Suddenly being a foster kid is the least of my worries.

        Maria and I had already agreed to meet at her locker after the final bell for babysitting, and I skid around the corner to find her already there, waiting. She’s holding the wilted flowers in her hand with a sad little smile.

“Thanks,” she says, indicating them. “I think.”

”Yeah, sure,” I say distractedly. “You heard?”

She nods. “Liz told me.”

Fuck. Liz is off her rocker. We turn and walk together down the hall, quickly, towards the Jetta. I don’t want to know what kind of crap she’s been spewing into Maria’s ear all day.

        “I don’t think-“ Maria starts.

        “Can it,” I hiss. “Wait till we get out there.”

        “What exactly do you plan to do with Annie?” Maria demands.

        “She can wait in the car.”

        “Are you kidding? It’s 85 degrees today!”

        “We’ll leave the a/c on. The windows down. Get her a juice or something.”

        We storm out of the building, through the student parking lot. “First, you can’t leave her unsupervised. And second, she’s gonna tell Toby and Veronica.”

        “Come up with a bribe for her, then. The kid can be bought.”

“You’re gonna bribe her?”

“Shh! Calm down!” We still don’t know whose eyes and ears are around. “Then what do you propose?”

“I don’t know, one of us stays home with her and the other one goes?”

        I stare at her. “Are you volunteering?”

        She sighs. “I have to be there for Liz,” she says.

        “Well, I have to be there for myself.”

She unlocks the door to the Jetta and hops in, leaning over to unlock the door for me. “Look,” she says as I throw my books on the backseat and close the door. “This changes everything, Michael. If there’s an alien hunter looking for you, looking for me…”

        “We don’t know that,” I remind her, my teeth clenched. “We don’t know that. Now turn on the damn car.”

        Maria takes one last look at me before sticking the key in the ignition and gearing the Jetta up. We roar out of the parking lot, across town, towards Goddard.

        “What would the FBI want with you, anyway?” I demand. “I mean, other than for you to serve them up to us on a platter with Tabasco on the side.”

        “That’s not gonna happen,” Maria responds automatically.

        “Yeah, before you felt like your lives were in danger it wasn’t.”

        “It’s not gonna happen!” she repeats, her voice breaking. “Michael, we’re with you. Me, Liz, Alex, we’re on your side.”

        “Yeah,” I say, staring out the window. “I know.” Do I?

        “If Topolsky’s right…”

        “She’s not right!”

        Maria is quiet for a moment. “What do you want to do about Annie?” she asks, changing the subject.

        “Milkshakes,” I say. “All the milkshakes she can drink at the Crashdown after we get done. She’ll stay quiet.”

        “Yeah, and then she’ll puke all over the Jetta on the way home, or wait until she gets home and puke in front of your foster parents. Try explaining that one.”

        She’s right. Dammit. “Um, then one milkshake.”

        “She’s already getting a milkshake. Try again.”

        “Do you want to be the one to tell her I’m an alien?”

        “Michael…”

        “Check the mirror. Are we being followed?”

        “I already checked, and no, we’re not being followed.”

        “Check again!”

        She does. “We’re fine! Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna tell her we have to meet our friends for a school assignment, and afterwards she gets to pick whatever we do the rest of the afternoon. I don’t want to leave her alone, either, but I don’t see any choice.”

        “We gotta keep her silent. If Toby knows we’re having secret meetings with the others…” I let my voice trail off.

        “You still think he’s FBI?” She’s squinting at me.

        “You willing to take the chance he’s not?” She has no answer. “We keep her silent.”

        “Let me do the talking,” Maria says. “If you tell her, she’s liable to run away screaming.”

        “What’s that supposed to mean?” I demand.

        “It means you’re just a little wound up right now.”

I run my hand through my hair and lean back against the window. “This isn’t right. We can’t keep up with her with all this shit. Why did we ever agree to babysit?”

“It’s not babysitting, it’s hanging out with your cool foster sister. I thought you liked her.”

“There are more important things to worry about.”

We lapse into silence and I stare out the window until we pull up at Goddard. Maria breaks the silence. “Do you want to go get her or should I?”

“Go get her?”

        “Were you paying attention to Veronica at all? She’s waiting in the special ed room on the second floor.”

        Right. “I’ll get her,” I say.

        “Don’t scare her,” Maria says in a warning tone.

        “I won’t!” Jesus.

        I storm through the halls, up to the second floor, turn left, and down the hall to the special ed room just like Veronica said. It’s a big room, there’s a shelf with empty grocery boxes on one side, a big table in the middle, a dry erase board, filing cabinets, bulletin boards. Annie’s sitting at the table, working on her homework.

        “Annie, hey, ready to go?” Her face brightens when she sees me.

        A gray-haired woman walks up to me. “You must be Annie’s brother?”

        “Foster brother, yeah.”

        “Can I see your ID?” Damn.

        I reach for my wallet and flash my driver’s license. “Michael Guerin,” I say. She studies the ID and looks back up at me.

        “Annie, have a fun afternoon,” the teacher says, handing me my license and still eying me up and down, as Annie grabs her bookbag and scrambles after me.

        “Where are we gonna go first?” Annie asks me, excited.

        “Well, Maria and I gotta go do something real fast,” I tell her as we move through the hallway. I lower my voice. “We’re goin’ out to the old reservoir, and you get to wait in the car. Afterwards, we’ll do anything you want to do.”

        “This is supposed to be my afternoon now ,” Annie says, raising her voice.

        “It will be,” I assure her. “Just… after we got to the reservoir.”

        “What do you have to do?”

        “It’s for school. It’s private. Look, it won’t take long, and then we can go, um, get milkshakes or something.”

“I’m hungry now.”

        “Then we’ll get you something on the way. We just gotta do this, okay? Don’t complain about it.”

        “Why can’t I complain? This sucks!”

        We reach the Jetta. Maria’s already popped the trunk, and Annie drops her bookbag in it. I close it for her and move around to open the back door for her. Annie climbs into the backseat, pushing my books aside with a shove.

        “Fuck you, Michael,” Annie says to me as I close the door behind her and open my own.

Maria raises her eyebrows at me. “What? What did I do?” I ask. I close my eyes for a moment.

I can’t handle this. “We’re gonna stop at the Lift-Off and get Annie a snack. Then she’s gonna wait in the car while we go to the reservoir.”

        “No!” Annie protests.

        “Annie, look, if you just do this for us, we’ll spend another whole afternoon with you.”

        I glance over at Maria, who mouths ‘We?’ to me. I wave her off.

        “I don’t want to wait in the car!”

        I turn around, summoning my fiercest expression. “Annie.”

        “I want to go with you!”

        “It’ll just take a few minutes. You can do your homework, and then we’ll go do whatever you want to do,” Maria says, trying to appease her. “Anything you want at the Lift-Off, we’ll buy for you.”

        Annie throws herself backwards in the backseat. “Fine,” she says fiercely.

        Maria tosses a glance my way. She’s right. I should have let her tell Annie. Now I’ve screwed everything up royally. Leave it to me.

Chapter 29

        “Well, you all know I met with Topolsky last night,” Liz says nervously, glancing around at our assembled rag-tag band. “I didn’t mean to, I know we all agreed. She sent flowers to the Crashdown and signed them with Max’s name, okay?” she asks, staring right at me.

        I glance over at Max. “Flowers,” I say pointedly. He shakes his head at me to shut me up. Alex starts to pace nervously, walking back and forth along the length of the circle we’ve created. I feel my heart beating quickly, too, if for different reasons than Alex.

“This is important,” Liz says firmly. “She said there’s an alien hunter.” She rushes to get the words out. “In the FBI. Um, um, and she said the president and the director of the FBI don’t know much about it. He’s, like, a free agent. She said he knows about Max, and has all six of our names on a list.”

“All six?” Alex asks nervously.

“She said six names,” Liz confirms. “That would mean the six of us.”

“She’s a liar!” I slam my right fist into the palm of my left hand.

“Michael,” Max admonishes me. “We have no way to know.”

“Michael’s right, though,” Maria says, glancing over at me as she fingers her necklace. “She’s never told us the truth. Why now?”

“Something’s wrong,” Liz says. “She was hiding from someone. She had a wig on, she tricked me into coming out to see her, she didn’t want anyone to see her at all. Except for me.”

        “So she wore a wig, huh?” Alex asks, amidst his pacing.

“Alex, I mean, she was so scared. I’ve never seen anyone that scared before.”

        “Have you taken a look at me lately?” Alex asks. It’s almost a funny remark...

“Don’t you get it?” I explode. “This is exactly what she wants. “She has spooked the three of you. And now she’s waitin’, for you to deliver the three of us,” I indicate myself and the Evanses, “straight to the FBI.”

“No, Michael,” Liz says, “it’s not three and three anymore. It’s the six of us now. And we need to start making our decisions that way.”

I’m about to burst in, but Isabel comes to my rescue instead. “There’s no ‘decision’ to be made,” she argues. “We trust no one . We never have, and we never will. God, if you think you can even begin to understand what it’s like to be us in this…”

        “I think we’re all a little on edge right now, Isabel,” Max offers gently.

        “Max,” she says calmly, looking into his eyes, “if there’s a hunter out there, who do you think he’s coming for first?”

        I swallow a little. Already I’m picturing Max locked up, strapped down, cut open. Not gonna happen. “There is no hunter out there, okay? This is insane. Can’t you people smell a set-up, or am I the only one thinkin’ straight here?”

        “Why don’t we put it to a vote?” Maria asks. She waits for a response, and everyone has fallen silent. I’m about to protest, because this is a conspiracy, not a democracy, but first I want to hear the result of the vote. “Do we meet Topolsky again or not?”

        “I say we meet,” Alex says slowly. “Hear what she has to say.”

        Isabel fixes a cool gaze on him. “I say we stay away.” But Alex, I gotta give him credit, holds his ground and remains silent.

        “I have to agree with Isabel,” Max says, staring at the ground. Liz and Maria’s glances turn to me. I’m next in the circle.

        “You know my vote,” I say dismissively.

        Liz is up next. “But if anything happens to any of you, I...” She turns to Max. “I think that's why we need to meet her. I think we need protection, Max.”

        Humans versus aliens. We’re evenly matched. “Great. It’s a tie. Hell of a lot of good that did us.” I glance out across the water as I scratch my face.

        “No,” Maria says. “I… I don’t think we should go. I mean,” and she sighs, “if you guys feel that strongly about it, who are we to tell Topolsky anything about you?”

        “Four-two, we stay away,” I say quietly.

        Alex immediately turns, and silently walks off. After a moment, Max puts his arm around Liz and they follow. Isabel casts a derisive look at them, but follows them to the jeep, leaving me and Maria alone.

        I’m not quite sure what to say. “Thanks for seeing it my way,” I say.

        She nods. “I just really want this to be over with.”

        I glance away. “Well, c’mon. Let’s go get Annie.”

        We parked the Jetta around the corner, out of sight. Maria wasn’t thrilled with leaving Annie out of our sight, but as I pointed out, the less she knew about what we were up to, the better. We trudge across the rocks, watching the Jeep kick up dust down the road, carrying the other four away.

        “The flowers were a nice gesture, Michael,” Maria says reluctantly.

        “What? Oh, those.”

        She sighs. “I know you’re trying.”

        “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

        “It means exactly what I said it means. You’re making an effort.”

        “Whatever.” But inside, I’m lighting up just a little. Maybe we can work through this.

        “Where the hell is Annie?”

        “What?” My head shoots up to look at the Jetta, and I don’t see Annie’s head at all. I break into a run and sprint towards the car. “Annie!”

        I hear Maria running behind me, but I get to the car first. I look down at the seats, in front and in back. Holy mother of shit. She’s not there.

        I whirl around. “Annie!” I shout, and I see Maria’s face as she realizes that we’re right, Annie’s not in the car. I’m sure my expression mirrors her own. This is so not good.

        “Her bag’s gone, too,” I say. “She took it with her.”

        “You don’t think Topolsky…?” Maria asks.

        The thought is enough to send my heart racing. Surely not. What does Annie have to do with anything, anyway? “No way. If Topolsky was this close, why not come get us herself?” I hope. I hope. I stare down at the car. “She got pissed and she left. She totally would. Annie!” I scream, hoping to hell she can hear me. “Where are you?” Little jerk.

        Maria whips out her cell phone. “What are you doing?” I ask her.

        “Calling Liz,” Maria says as she fumbles for her keys. “Hold on, Michael. Liz, hi, it’s me. Come back here now. Yeah, Michael’s foster sister is missing, we gotta find her. We need the Jeep and all four of you. We’re parked around the corner from the rock formation. Yeah, thanks, bye.” She hangs up.

        I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe we lost the kid.

        I can’t believe I care.

        “Okay, Michael,” Maria says calmly. “As soon as they get back with the Jeep, we’re gonna split up. I’ll stay here with Liz in case Annie comes back. You and Max take the Jetta. Isabel and Alex will take the Jeep.”

        “She’s missing,” I say slowly.

        “Yes. She is. Focus. We lost her.”

        “Why would she take off like that?”

        “Maybe because we blew her off? Repeat the plan back to me.”

        “Um, we’re gonna find her?”

        Maria sighs. “You and Max are gonna go look for Annie in the Jetta. Do you think she’d go somewhere in particular?”

        “There’s nothing around here.”

        “Where would she want to go?”

        In a flash it comes to me. And it’s not good.

        “The desert,” I say slowly. “I think she went to the desert.”

        “What? Why?”

        One of my first conversations with Annie comes flooding back to me.

        “You didn’t get thirsty?”
        “I got by.”
        “That must have been cool. Just to be out there on your own.”

        “Because of me,” I say slowly. “It’s my fault.” I look at Maria, horrified. “Because I lived in the desert by myself for a week when I was six.”

“She can’t have gotten far,” Maria says, trying to keep herself from freaking out. “There’s the Jeep now.”

        Isabel is the first to jump out of the Jeep, before it’s already stopped, and dash to us. “You lost your handicapped sister?” she explodes at me.

        I bristle. “First, the kid’s anything but helpless,” I say, “and she ran away on her own.” Maria’s staring at me. “What?”

        “You didn’t correct Isabel on the sister thing,” Maria says.

        “Can we just get on with this? Annie’s missing.”

        Maria grasps my shoulder reassuringly for a moment. “Michael, Max, Jetta, that way,” Maria says, pointing. “Check out the desert. Isabel, Alex, Jeep, that way.” She points in the opposite direction. “Liz, you and I are waiting here and you’re searching the immediate area on foot for clues.”

        “What’s she wearing?” Isabel asks.

        I start to respond, but realize that I have no earthly idea.

        “Jeans and a blue sweater,” Maria offers. “Her hair was in a ponytail. Everyone knows what she looks like, right?” she asks, to nods all around. “Good. Move!”

        I leap into the driver’s seat of the Jetta as Max clambers out of the Jeep and into the car with me. He doesn’t even have the door closed before I slam on the accelerator and we take off across the rocky basin of the old reservoir.

        Max pulls his cell phone out of his backpack and punches in a number. “Hey, Milton? It’s Max. I’m having a bit of a crisis, I’m gonna be late for my shift, is that okay?” He chews his lip and stares at me. “I don’t know. I’ll call when I know what time. I’m sorry, I’ll make the time up this weekend. Good, yeah, I’m so sorry. Yeah, thanks, bye.” He hangs up and turns to look at me.

        “Don’t say it,” I say, threateningly.

“I’m not,” he says. “Isabel said it already. And I think you know it, anyway.”

“Better believe it. We told her we’d be right back!”

Max sighs. “What did you say to piss her off?”

“What makes you so sure I’m the one who pissed her off?”

“Michael…”

        “Maxwell, you don’t know the kid. She’s a hellion. It doesn’t take much to piss her off.”

        “Reminds me of someone I know,” he says.

        I bite my lip nervously. “Don’t start with me.”

        “I’m sorry,” he says immediately. “What makes you think she went to the desert?”

        “Just a hunch,” I say quietly. “When I talked about how I was in the desert alone, she was all interested.”

“You told her about that?”

“I told her the official line. That my parents dumped me out there.”

        “Right,” Max says thoughtfully. I know what he’s thinking. I’ve never talked to him about it. We don’t ever really talk about those first couple of years. I don’t think we really know what to say about it; at the time, we didn’t have any language to describe it.

        “I wasn’t romanticizing it,” I say stiffly.

        “I’m sure,” Max says. “Michael, I know you didn’t encourage her.” His head turns from side to side as he scans the horizon each way. “So, Annie… can she take care of herself?”

        “She thinks she can,” I say.

        “But can she?”

        I slowly, silently, shake my head.

        Max’s cell phone breaks out into song, and he whips it out of his lap. “Hello?” He makes a slight face. “Michael, it’s for you.”

        I take the phone from him with my right hand, still driving into the desert, scanning the horizon. “Yeah?”

        “Veronica called,” Maria says. “She wanted to know how we were doing. Said their hearing got pushed back to the end of the day, so they’re gonna run late.”

        “Thank goodness,” I say. “What did you tell her?”

        “She wanted to talk to Annie,” and I hear the anxiety in Maria’s voice. “I said I’d had to run an errand and wasn’t with you guys. She’s not thrilled that you two don’t have a phone with you.”

        “’Us two’ don’t have fucking Annie with us,” I say. “Hold her off as long as you can. Tell her whatever you have to.”

        “Believe me, I’m trying,” Maria assures me.

        “We’ll call if we find anything.”

        “Good luck,” she says quietly, before I press the ‘END’ button and toss the phone back at Max.

        “We’ll find her, Michael,” Max says. “She can’t have gotten far.”

        “This is Annie we’re talking about,” I remind him. “Maxwell, she’s gotten wherever she damn well felt like getting.”
Chapter 30
       
        She’s missing.

        Annie is missing. She’s out there in the desert, alone.

        She had food with her. We bought her a soda and a bag of chips. A soda won’t prevent dehydration, but at least it’s calories. And it’s rather cool today, at least for New Mexico, and the sun is setting.

        But the sun is setting.

        We’re an hour or two away from darkness. And if we can’t find the kid before it gets too dark, I’m afraid of what will happen.

        It’s not even so much facing the Butlers. So I lost their charge. So what? Stick me in a stupid group home, send me to Goddard. I don’t even care anymore.

        But I do ac