Author: becky rttavi@aol.com
Rating: PG
Distribution: ask first, always.
Pairing: M/M
Spoilers: nada
Feedback: send it to rttavi@aol.com
Improv #4   pathos-daydream-ruby-bright


Shadows on the night side wall frozen in their wake. Streetlight streaming and he walks alone. I think he's singing, but I'd be surprised. No, wait, he is.

"And as I walk alone I wonder what went wrong with our love…" He sings quietly not thinking anyone is listening, but I am. I always listen. "I'm a walking in the rain, tears are falling and I feel a pain, wishin' you were here by me to end this misery...da da da da My little runaway…"

I know he's thinking about me, but I had to run away. I was being smothered and it was freaking me out. I always said I wanted commitment from him; then when he gave it to me, I ran away. I don't try to understand it; he does. Now he walks the streets at night and I watch. A man alone in a state of pathos and it's my fault.

I watch like a stalker, if he knows I'm around, he never says or does anything to let me know. I know he cares, God, I can hear it in his voice. I can see it on his face. I broke his heart and I'll probably go to hell for it. Doesn't really matter. I know I wasn't worthy, not of him and all his magic. Magical Michael. I smile when I think about him and reconsider my absenteeism. Maybe I acted too fast. Maybe I didn't let him know that I really did love him when I was supposed to. People always said that it was him who couldn't show his emotions; they were wrong, it was me.

Michael didn't seem to have any problem telling me he loved me. I was the one who ran away. I hauled ass as fast as I could when I saw that gleaming band of white gold. I am too young to think about getting married. Seriously, he's not Jerry Lee Lewis and I'm not his cousin, thank God. But who would have ever thought that I would bolt? I know I sure didn't.

"And as I still walk on I think of the things we've done together, while our hearts were young…"

He's still singing and it's still about me. I'm not that far from him and I bet he knows I'm here listening. I watch him every night and I officially fall into the stalker category for that. Nothing ever comes from young love. Ever. I look at my parents and I look at my friends and nothing good has ever come from stupid young love. Nothing but problems, betrayal and eventually distance. Maybe I love him too much to let that happen to us. Maybe I think it could be okay, but that's in a daydream and I don't believe in those too much anymore. I'd rather be apart from him and still love him than be with him and end up hating him.

I don't think I could ever imagine living with myself if I hated the one person who stole my heart. So this is why I stalk him; because I can't be with him for fear of the future.

"My little runaway…"

I'm so close to him I think I can actually smell him. Maybe I just remember the smell of him. Maybe I miss the smell of him. I close my eyes and I can't see anything except him. These are the times I have to rethink if I did the right thing.

Did I? All I know is that nothing good can come from young love. That's all it is, is young. We're too immature to know what real love is all about, right? How are we supposed to know? We can't know. I wish I had those ruby shoes and could click my heels three times and everything would be back to the way it was before. Before I ran away.

"Run-run-run-runaway…"

He stops walking and my heart melts. Young love? Maybe it's not so bad; maybe it doesn't always end up with broken hearts. Maybe I should go back and see what the cards deal for us. It could be the best move of my life or the worst mistake I've ever made.

"Run-run-run-runaway…"

He knows I'm here. I got too close tonight. It's been over two months since that fateful evening of the disastrous proposal. Two months since I've fallen into his eyes. Two months since I felt his hands on my skin. Two months too long.

I step out of the lurking shadows and stand behind him; too nervous to breathe. I watch as his shoulder's tense.  

"Run-run…" he isn't singing anymore, just talking. "My little runaway."

I walk to him and catch my breath. He turns to face me before I realize I'm so close. I see the bright light of hope in his eyes and I want to weep.  

"My little runaway." He smiles and offers his hand to me.

I go to him and feel his hands on my bare arms. I smell him and I know I'll always love him. I make promises to myself that I know I can keep. I stepped out of the dark tonight into the light. I can see my future and it doesn't scare me anymore. Before he kisses my waiting lips I see the shadows around me start to fall.

end

becky  beckyrocks.com
**Susan, Wizard of Oz? Great minds think alike:)