ROUTINES

 

By Chicky

  

Title: 'Routines'
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Uh, not really any...I don't know. If in doubt, don't read.
Category – AU, M/M, CC/UC
Disclaimer – In case you're confused, None of this belongs to me.
Author’s Note – I've kind of been kicking this fic idea around for a while, and decided I'd try to write it. Um, it's pretty much as AU as you can get - no aliens or anything. I've set it in Seattle, although I don't think I'll ever say that in the fic, just thought I'd mention it in case anyone got confused about it being Roswell or something. Other than that, I guess you'll just have to read it...lol, sorry.

 

 

Michael stared across the counter at the girl as she filled his coffee cup. As usual, she avoided his eyes. She avoided everyone's eyes. When she was finished, she turned away and returned the pot without a word, then moved around the counter to check on the people in the booths.

Digging into the pocket of his jeans, he pulled out a crumpled five dollar bill and tossed it on the counter. He knew what the tab was without waiting for her to give him the check. Actually, she never gave him a check for anything anymore. Breakfast - four slices of toast, quarter cut of cantaloupe, three eggs 'sunny side' up, four sausage links, one cup of coffee - $4.75. Usually he left the exact amount, but he didn't have any quarters, and he didn't want to sit around and wait for her to make change. He never tipped her.

Spinning on the stool, he put his feet on the floor and started toward the door. He had his hand on the knob when he felt something pelt his shoulder. Before he had a chance to turn around, he heard the clang of a coin on the floor. The quarter rolled to a stop a few inches from the heel of his boot, so he stooped and grabbed it. Trying not to smile, he stepped out of the diner and walked around the corner to get his car.

***

She watched through the front window as he roared past in his brand new SUV. Bastard.

"Mrya," the cook barked behind her.

How was it that he turned her name into a one syllable word?

Sighing, she turned and picked up the two plates of pancakes to be delivered to the second booth. Murray's Diner. She was the only waitress in the whole place - not that it was big - five booths, fivve tables, eight stools. One Maria. Thank goodness mornings were never busy.

After she dumped the plates off in front of the customers, she walked behind the counter to clean up after him. Craning her neck to the side until it popped, she glanced up at the ancient clock above the door, 8:15 a.m., wonderful - only thirteen more hours to go.

***

He handed the valet a ten along with his keys. The kid flashed a knowing smile as he climbed in the driver's seat.

"Punk," Michael muttered under his breath as he walked through the front door of the restaurant.

He didn't have to say a word, they knew him.

"Right this way, Mr. Guerin."

She was at her favorite table by the window. It was probably her favorite because the sun hit her perfectly there, shining on her flowing blonde hair. A smile slid smoothly across her face, but didn't touch her eyes. Her perfectly manicured hand slid across the white tablecloth, inviting a touch from his own. He stared at it as he sat down across from her.

"Michael," her voice was smooth, almost a purr.

"Iz."

The hand that was stretched toward him was slowly retracted, but in such a fashion that it looked completely natural. No one would have guessed what had really taken place.

A waiter was standing beside him, waiting for an order. Ignoring the menu, he looked up at the man, "I'll take a cheeseburger."

He enjoyed her slight intake of breath, the small frown that settled briefly over her beautiful features. There were no 'cheeseburgers' on the menu here, and he knew it.

The waiter had been trained to accommodate, however, and merely smiled and nodded, moving away. More than likely they would have to send a busboy down the street to buy hamburger buns.

"Do you have to do that?" she asked him, with a polite smile.

He shrugged. She needed to know that he wasn't her trained monkey anymore.

"How's New York?" he asked, leaning his chair back on two legs. This should get a reaction out of her.

"Lovely," she said softly, glaring at him.

Michael could almost hear her mind working, 'I taught him better than that', as if she had been his mother and not his lover.

"What do you want?" he wished he could have met her eyes when he asked the question, but he didn't want to risk her seeing past his false bravado.

"I miss you," she raised her eyebrows as though daring him to contradict her.

"I'll bet," he curled his lips into a wry smile, looking out the window.

"Things shouldn't be like this between us. We had too much for this to be all that's left," her voice was soft, and he knew she was being sincere. It was the strange thing about her. She'd be the cool ice princess, and then she'd show a little soft side. Isabel gave 'peaks' of vulnerability the way other girls would give a guy a peak of cleavage.

This would be so much easier if he could hate her.

"I don't want to be your friend," he said still staring out the window. They'd had this conversation before. There wasn't any reason to have it again.

"I know," her tone was resigned.

For a few moments they sat in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable. They'd known each other for too long. He wished there had been a clean break, but there hadn't. The last two years had been hell. If only he'd had the guts to walk away and never look back after he found her that night. Instead, they'd slowly pulled apart. She'd moved across the country a year ago, but they were still in touch, still having little meetings like this one.

Salads were placed in front of each of them, and their eyes met.

"I'm moving back," she said slowly.

"Oh?" he was genuinely surprised.

"Yes. I'm getting married."

"Oh…" he didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected that. Don't crack, Guerin…

"He's in software. I think you'd really like him," she glanced down at her plate and actually blushed. No, it was more of a flush. He couldn't help but stare. She looked happy.

A million questions buzzed through his mind. Who was he? Where did she meet him? How long had she known him? What made this guy the 'one'?

In lieu of those questions, he threw his napkin on the table, and angrily asked, "Is that why you brought me here? To tell me that?"

She slid her hand across the table again toward him, her eyes pleading for understanding, "Yes. I wanted to tell you in person."

Without another word he was on his feet and on his way out the door. Somehow she'd done it again, she'd managed to hurt him. Let her pay for lunch. Just like the good old days.

***

"Do you want fries with that?" Maria smiled at the little girl.

"Yes, please," the girl smiled in return.

Winking at the girl's mother, she turned to give the order to the cook.

Her feet were killing her, and she wanted a shower more than anything. It was 7:00. Only two hours to go.

She tried to remember when she didn't measure the passage of time like that. A countdown. At work, it was a countdown to going home, and at home it was a countdown to going back to work. Her life was depressing as hell.

The diner was packed as usual for dinner, and she and Liz buzzed around filling orders. She'd bitch about the fact that there were only two waitresses, but if there were more she'd lose out on all of the extra tips she needed. And, of course, it was good to be busy, time passes quickly when you're working your ass off.

The dinner rush was over by 8:30 when the bell above the door sounded announcing a new customer. She didn't have to look up from wiping off the counter to know it was him. He had a presence.

Sighing, she moved to stand in front of him. He always sat at her section of the counter. Even when she would switch with the other waitress on duty, somehow he knew and would move to where she was. She'd given up trying to avoid him.

Grabbing silverware from below the counter she set it out in front of him and moved to get his Cherry Coke. He didn't even acknowledge her, just stared around the room at his fellow customers. She slammed the glass down in front of him, and pulled out her order pad, tapping it with her pen as she tried to remember what day it was.

Uh…Let's see…Wednesday, chicken fried steak.

Just as she started to write, he shook his head at her, smirking, "Actually, I want a cheeseburger."

She shrugged and started scribbling on the order pad, making out his usual cheeseburger order: well done, no mayo, fresh tomatoes. That was the first time in over a year he hadn't ordered his 'usual' for a particular day. Not that he ate every meal there. It's just that when he did, he had a routine.

Liz smiled at her as she handed an order in, "Aren't you about done for the day?"

Maria nodded, "Yup, half an hour."

Liz patted her cheeks and grinned, "You look sleepy, why don't you take off? I've got things under control."

Maria smiled, "Nah. Don't wanna' miss out on the last few dollars of the hour. Besides, I might luck out and get another big tip from 'Mr. Happy' over there," she jerked her thumb toward the man at the end of the counter, "Did I tell you he left me a whole quarter this morning?"

Liz laughed, "It's your own fault, Maria."

"Yeah, whatever," Maria winked at her and moved to refill the salt shakers.

It wasn't really her fault. Her first day working, he had come in, and she'd accidentally spilled coffee in his lap. Of course he'd been a huge jerk about it. Glaring at her when she apologized, and jerking the towel out of her hand when she'd tried to mop the hot liquid out of his lap. She'd tried to joke with him, to lighten the mood, "Hey, at least you don't have to tip me." He'd smirked at her as if that were already a given, and finished cleaning himself up. That day (and every time she'd seen him since), he left no tip. He knew what everything cost, and what his bill would be, so he always had exact change.

Now that she thought about it, the tip from earlier and the change of his dinner order were extremely unusual. She studied him from a few feet away, maybe he was ill or something. Not that she cared. He was a jackass. Kind of a hot jackass, but still a jackass.

She tried to keep herself busy, so that the time would move faster, but it seemed like an eternity before it was finally 9:00. Right on the dot, she headed into the back room for her coat and purse. Liz was standing in the kitchen.

"Hey, could you handle 'Mr. No-Tip' for me? I'm off," she said quickly.

"Sure," Liz smiled and waved, then blushed slightly, "tell Kyle 'hi' for me."

Maria smiled over her shoulder and walked out into the diner. She and Liz had become good friends over the last few months, and she knew her friend had a little crush on Kyle.

She passed behind him on her way out the door, and she was surprised when he stood and followed her. It was kind of creepy, so she paused just outside the door to make a show of zipping up her coat. He seemed not to notice her as he walked straight out the door and across the street. She knew he lived in that building, occasionally he would place an order by phone and someone would have to deliver to him. Not her though, she'd put her foot down the first time someone mentioned it.

She watched as he walked in the door of the four story, then started to walk home. His expensive vehicle was parked just down the street, and as always she had to resist the temptation to take out her keys and run them down the side of it. All of that money, and the bastard couldn't even tip her. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for the fact that he ate there nearly every day. Tips from him would make a big difference. She thought about how much money she'd missed out on in the last eighteen months. Mind boggling. For a moment, she almost laughed out loud. Never in her life did she think she'd spend time dwelling on something as trivial as this. It was just another reminder of how lousy her life was.

It seemed that she'd walked the three blocks to her building in record time, and she sighed slightly as she started up the stairs. Now, off to sleep just to turn around and do it all again tomorrow.

"I'm home," she called as she walked in the door.

"Hey," Kyle's voice sounded from the bathroom, "we're still bathing. Someone is taking forever."

She smiled as she kicked off her shoes and hung her coat up. Picking up a teddy bear and a barbie on her way down the hall, she started to smile.

"Hi, Auntie Maria," Abby sing songed from the bath as Maria peaked her head into the bathroom.

"Hey, kiddo," Maria giggled slightly at the sight of Kyle. His shirt was soaked with bubbles. There were even some in his hair. He was balanced precariously on the toilet seat, with his legs sprawled awkwardly in front of him. For a moment she stared at the braces attached to his calves and thighs, they were the only physical remnants of the ordeal that had upset all of their lives.

Throwing the towel he was holding at her he grimaced and reached for his crutches, "Would you mind?"

Maria opened the towel and smiled, "Nope. Be my pleasure. You wash, I'll dry."

He laughed as he moved past her out into the hall.

"Ok, munchkin, time to get out," Maria smiled at her niece as she walked up to the tub.

"Um, five more minutes?" Abby scrunched up her nose and looked up with puppy dog eyes.

"No way, it's already past your bed time."

"Ok, ok," the little girl grumbled as she stood. Maria wrapped the towel around her quickly and whisked her out of the water, cradling her in her arms as she sat on the lid of the toilet.

"Oh, you're getting so big," Maria smiled down at her, "I wish you would stay a baby forever."

"No!" Abby giggled and climbed off her lap.

After about five minutes of struggle, Abby was dry and dressed, and Maria was trying to get a brush through her hair. Kyle had forgotten to use conditioner, again.

"You've got to remind your dad about the hair conditioner, sweetie. Otherwise we get bad tangles."

"I forgot."

"I know, just remember next time. Ok?"

Abby smiled and nodded, then winced as Maria made another brush stroke. Maria couldn't believe how quickly her niece was growing up, it seemed like she had just learned to walk, and now here she was four years old. When her hair was all combed and parted, Maria patted her on the head.

"Go tell your dad you're ready for bed."

"Ok."

"Oh, wait, give me a kiss goodnight."

Turning back from the doorway, Abby huffed a little, but complied.

Maria walked into her room and grabbed her sweats and a t-shirt and a change of underwear and headed back to the bathroom. Time for that shower she'd been craving all day.

Half an hour later, she emerged from the steam filled room and walked out to the kitchen to grab a snack before heading to bed.

"Hey," Kyle said from the kitchen table.

"Hey."

"You look tired," he said looking at her worriedly.

"Yeah, I am. No biggie though, sleep helps," she tried to smile reassuringly.

He nodded sadly, and looked down at his hands. She knew he hated it that she had to work so much.

When he'd had his accident, she'd been in her sophomore year at the university. The doctors were fairly sure he was paralyzed from the waist down, and he'd been in a coma. On the fourth day after he'd been in the hospital, Vickie had called and asked her to come over and babysit Abby, and had never returned. The tenth day, Kyle awakened, and his recovery since then had basically been a miracle. He wasn't paralyzed, but his legs were in pretty bad shape. It had taken over a year of surgeries and physical therapy before they'd even been sure he would walk again.

Maria had been forced to quit school to take care of Abby before Kyle was even out of the coma, and she'd had to work hard to keep up with the bills. Thankfully he was fully covered in the medical arena, but there was a baby to take care of, childcare, a car payment, food, shelter - it all added up. She'd gotten the waitressing gig at the diner because it was so close to Kyle's apartment, and when Murray had said he was hiring another waitress she'd begged him for that job as well, they'd set up an 'under the table' arrangement for her overtime, and she was grateful for it. Although it had been tough, she hadn't complained. Kyle had done the same thing for her when their parents died when she was fifteen, quitting university to work construction so that he could take care of her.

"I wanted so much better than this for you," Kyle's voice broke her out of her reverie.

She sat down across from him with her little container of yogurt, and tried to joke with him, "Hey, my life's great. I've got the best brother in the world, not to mention the greatest niece."

"Yeah. You work six days a week for fourteen hours a day. Your life is a bowl of cherries. I hate it that you have to do this," he looked forlorn. She hated it when he got depressed. It scared her. If her life was bad, his was horrible. He couldn't walk, he couldn't work, his wife had left him, he had major money worries…the list went on and on.

"Nah. It's good for me. Builds character," she smiled, trying to coax him out of the doldrums.

Noticing that she was worried, he put on a small smile, but she wasn't fooled.

"I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow," he said staring at his hands, "he told me last time that he should have an estimate by my next visit - you know for how much longer it will be before I can get these damn things off."

"Yeah," her voice was soft, "I remember."

"It shouldn't be more than four months," he said.

"I know, but you need to give it as much time as the doctor says. You just got on the crutches, you don't want to push it and end up in the wheelchair again," she said sternly, hoping he wasn't going to try to push himself to do more than he could.

"Yeah, yeah," he whispered resignedly.

"Well, I'm off to bed. See you in the morning," she kissed his cheek as she hopped up and headed down the hall toward her bedroom, thankfully able to close the door before the tears started.

***

Michael barely heard the knocking over the sound of his stereo. Grabbing the remote he pushed the volume down as he walked to the door.

Max. Of course.

"Hey," he said leaving the door open for his friend as he turned to go back to work.

"Uh, hey," Max said.

Michael threw the remote onto the sofa and turned back to the large canvas he had hung on the wall. "So," he said, voice full of sarcasm, "let me guess why you're here."

"She called me," Max said carefully.

"Of course she did," Michael almost laughed.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you as soon as I heard, but she wanted to tell you herself."

"Well, she did, so nothing to worry about. I'm completely 'in the know' now."

"Michael, she's not trying to hurt you."

"Who said she hurt me?" he asked, picking up a brush and swiping it angrily across the canvas. Black. He'd done nothing but paint in black all night. How cliché.

"Look, I know you're upset. You can save the tough guy act for someone who might actually buy it."

"Maxwell, why don't you just go back outside, get into your shiny car, drive back to your shiny neighborhood, with your shiny family and your shiny sister, and leave me the hell alone."

"You need to let it go," Max said, obviously holding back anger.

"Let it go. Yeah, I'll get right on that. Glad you figured it all out for me. Guess you can go home now," to emphasize his anger, he flung the brush in his hand at the canvas.

"All right, I'll go. Just remember that at some point you're going to have to move on. It's been two years for crying out loud. The broken heart excuse will only work for so long."

"Yeah, thanks again for stopping by. Next time I need some words of wisdom I'll know who to call," Michael called over his shoulder as he heard Max heading for the door.

Get over it.

Yeah. Just like that. Get over it.

Max didn't understand. And, if Max didn't understand, no one would. They'd been friends for as long as he could remember. Max came from a wealthy, affluent family and Michael had been a foster care kid, but they'd always been the best of friends. Though Isabel had always attended private school, Max's dad had insisted that his son get a 'hard knocks' education, which included public school. Growing up, Michael had always envied Max his perfect life. So, when he was older he'd naturally gravitated toward Isabel. She represented everything he thought he wanted.

After high school, he'd gone to university, mainly because he couldn't think of anything better to do. That was when he'd gotten close to Isabel. By the time he graduated, they were a full blown couple. She'd literally consumed his life. He'd even let her pull him into her world. Eventually he found himself dressing the way she wanted, acting the way she wanted. Even his career could be attributed to Isabel, she'd pushed him. Then, after three years together he'd walked into her apartment to find her in bed with another guy. That was when the pain began.

It was the trust more than anything. He had trusted her, and she betrayed him.

Smearing black paint onto the canvas with his bare hands, he smiled. There wasn't going to be another Isabel, he'd never be that stupid again. It wasn't like he'd actually loved her. He didn't believe in love. She'd just been a routine.
 

 

 

"Order up."

Maria turned back to the window and grabbed the two plates. Liz was on a break, and she was handling the last of her dinner customers.

One hour to go.

"Hey, Mrya," the cook called through the window, "you're gonna' have to deliver this call-in."

"Is it for the guy across the street?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah."

"Not a chance in hell," she smiled.

"Come on, Liz is out, there's only a couple customers, just run it over."

Actually, she was a little curious about how the guy lived…

"All right - but just this once."

She ran in back and grabbed her coat, then picked up the brown sack with the guy's food.

The door to the building was unsecure, and for the first time she realized that she didn't know his name or apartment number. She glanced around inside the entryway for mailboxes but didn't see any. Actually, now that she looked around she didn't even see any stairs. Just a short hallway with an apartment door at the end. For a moment, she debated going back to the diner to find out where he lived, but then decided it wouldn't hurt to try the door. This building couldn't have very many apartments, if it wasn't his, then the person would probably know him, and could at least direct her to the stairs.

She walked up to the door and knocked. There was loud music emanating from inside. Some sort of hard rock. After a few seconds with no answer, she knocked again, this time a little harder. The music quieted considerably and the door was thrown open.

This was definitely his place, and that was definitely him. Standing there, shirtless in faded old jeans. He had paint splatters all over his torso and his jeans.

No drooling. He's a jerk, he's a jerk, he's a jerk…

"Uh, delivery," she said holding up the bag.

He looked a little surprised, and she was beginning to wonder if the cook had been trying to play a trick on her or something.

"It's you," he said, looking at her sideways and narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah…" she said slowly. This guy was weird. Hot, but weird.

She held the bag out to him, eyeing the twenty in his hand. Maybe he didn't realize that if he paid her she would leave.

"Oh," he said looking at the bag in her hand, "ah, come in, I've got to get…"

She couldn't hear the rest of what he said, he'd started walking away from her. This had gone from weird to weirder, and although her instincts warned her against it, she followed him into the apartment. After about three steps, she stopped, dumbfounded. Now she knew why there weren't any other doors or stairs. The living room was huge and four stories high. The entire lower level was open, and in the corner she saw what could only be described as an artist's studio. Then, on the three upper levels there were open hallways with railings facing the room and at least four doors per level. The entire place was done in dark mahogany and metal, trendy and expensive. His apartment was the whole damn building.

"Hey," she heard him say somewhere to her left.

Turning, she saw him standing at his kitchen counter holding money out to her.

"Oh, sorry," she said softly as she walked to him and grabbed the money and coins he held out to her and plopped the bag onto the counter. Looking down into her hand she almost smiled. Of course, $11.50, exactly what he owed. She glanced at the twenty he had left on the counter. So, if she'd been someone else she would have gotten a tip, and a good one.

Shaking her head slightly she turned to walk out the door.

"Can't you at least say good-bye or thank you or something?" he asked, his voice close behind her.

She paused, without turning around and said, "Something."

Then she walked out the door.

***

He watched her walk down the hallway and out of the building before closing his front door.

Weird chick.

Maybe it was dumb of him not to just give her the twenty. Then again, maybe not. He remembered what she'd done with the tip he gave her the morning before. Yeah, she was weird.

He had just started to eat his steak when he got a phone call.

"H'lo," he said, chewing his meat loudly so that whoever it was would know they'd interrupted his meal. He couldn't think of a single person he wanted to talk to.

"Michael," Tess's voice sounded through the earpiece.

"Oh, hey."

He could talk to Tess.

"So, I just wanted to make sure I'm still invited to the opening tomorrow night."

"Yeah, of course," he said, spearing his steak with his fork and lifting it to his mouth to tear off a piece with his teeth. Only Tess would think she was uninvited because he'd been rude to her boyfriend.

"I heard about the Isabel thing…and the Max thing…"

"Yeah. So?"

"So, are you really all right?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Good, because I think she's planning to go too."

He nearly choked, "Oh?"

"Yeah…"

Figures, Isabel had never stopped being supportive of his work. She'd shown up at his last opening in New York a few months before.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asked, not really interested in continuing the conversation.

"Uh, Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't know, do you?"

"Know what, Tess?" his food was getting cold.

"Max and I broke up."

Awkward pause.

"What?" he asked, not sure if he'd heard her right.

"You heard me."

So that's why she thought she wasn't invited anymore.

"When did this happen?"

"Last night, after he left your place."

"Oh," he didn't know what to say.

"We're still friends, aren't we?" she asked quietly.

They'd been friends before she started dating Max, a little more than friends actually.

"Yeah, I don't know why not," he said.

"Ok," she sounded relieved.

"Ok."

"Well, see ya' tomorrow night. Oh, and break a leg by the way."

"Yeah, thanks. Tomorrow."

Hitting the off button on the phone he sat in stunned silence for a moment.

Max and Tess broke up. They were practically married. She'd had the dorm room across from his senior year, and they'd sort of hit it off, it was before he and Isabel were officially together, so they'd screwed around a little. Then, one day they were hanging out in his room and Max had come over and the rest was history. Now they'd broken up. After five years. That was major. Wow. That had to be tough.

Oh crap.

He picked the phone back up and dialed her number. What an idiot. Not a word. No 'I'm sorry' or 'Are you ok?'…

"Hello?" her voice sounded weak.

"Tess? God, I'm sorry - I'm an ass. Are you all right?"

"No," she started to cry.

"Well, do you want me to come over or something?" he didn't really know what to say, he knew she didn't have many good friends and that she considered him to be one of the few.

"Oh, no. I'll be ok," she sniffed.

"I'm sorry. You and Max, that's a big deal."

"Yeah."

He didn't know what to say. Probably should say something about things looking up or…hell, he didn't know.

"Yeah…" he wished he was good at the comforting thing.

"Well, thanks for calling," she said.

"Sure. Uh, hope you feel better."

"Ok, bye, Michael."

He hung up the phone and stared down at it. Then it rang again, the caller ID said it was Max. Great, more fumbling attempts at consolation by Michael Guerin.

***

Kyle was sitting in front of the computer when she got home, a sure sign that Abby was already in bed.

"Hey," he said, not turning around.

"Hey. What did the doctor say?"

"Five months," his voice was dry and flat.

She watched him for a moment, and she was glad he had something to do. When he'd been in the wheelchair the computer and the television had been his only means of entertainment. He used to read a lot, he'd been a journalism major in college, but his eye glass prescription had changed considerably since the accident and she hadn't had the money to get him new glasses yet.

"Oh, ah, there's a letter for you, Maria. Left it on your bed."

"Thanks," she said as she made her way down the hall to her room.

There was indeed a letter, a very official looking letter from a collection agency. Great. She needed to get $300 to her credit card company by the end of next week or they would take her to court. Super. It wasn't as if she'd meant to let the minimum payments go, but it had been a rough couple of months. What was she going to do?

Re-folding the letter, she stuffed it into the drawer of her nightstand. Kyle didn't need to see it. He'd just worry, and worrying wouldn't get them anywhere. She'd come up with something. She always did. Glancing around the room, she wondered what she could sell. Her stereo and television were already gone, the ones she'd worked so hard to buy before she started her freshman year. Then she spotted her jewelry box, all pawned, even her grandmother's pearl earrings. Was there nothing left? Did she not own anything of value anymore? She might have to ask Kyle if she could pawn something of his. Not that he owned much anymore either.

No, there had to be another way, something she could do on her own. Standing resolutely, she grabbed some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom to think and to shower.

***

Michael sat in the corner and watched the people milling around the room. They were all dressed in that way that 'self-aware chic' sort of way, and they all had their little finger foods clutched with their cosmopolitans in their hands. On the sound system, some strange neo-jazz music was playing, it cracked him up that these people thought this sort of music inspired him - try Metallica. He watched them as they wandered around the room, admiring the slices of his soul he'd let someone hang on the wall. If he overheard one more person say, 'Ah, yes, I see what he's feeling here', he was going to puke.

Instead of watching the pretentious ones, he decided to try to spot the girls. He knew they were here somewhere. Probably about a dozen of them. They'd be standing around, trying to catch his eye. Yep, there was a redhead across the room, definitely eyeing him. A nervous looking brunette stood a few feet away, pretending not to stare, yeah she was one too. Two blondes over by the makeshift bar, they didn't stand a chance, he hated platinums. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

It was what he did at openings. Ever since his first hit a couple of years before. Isabel had been there, and all of his wounds had been fresh, so he'd grabbed some random girl, who had been more than willing, and did her in the back office of the gallery. Now, it was what he did to occupy his mind at these stupid things, he'd sit around trying to decide which one it would be. It wasn't a secret. People knew about it. Over the summer he'd even found a website about it, some of the girls had posted reviews of his 'work'.

The redhead was in the lead when a tall, dark haired guy came and sat down next to him.

"How's it goin'?" the guy asked.

Michael looked at him for a second. He didn't look weird, probably just bored, "Fine."

"You look like you got strong-armed into coming to this thing too," the guy said, pulling a stick of gum out of his pocket and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Yeah, you could say that," Michael smirked. The guy didn't even know who he was. How refreshing.

"I'm hiding from my girlfriend. She keeps asking me what I think, I'm afraid she's gonna' figure out that I don't 'think' anything," the guy laughed slightly.

What on earth was this poor normal guy doing at this thing? Michael actually relaxed and sat back a little in his chair.

"Yeah, I think I had that girlfriend once. Next thing you know she'll have you dressing like them," he said, giving the guy a knowing look, and gesturing to the milling crowds.

"Yeah, no kidding. Since when is jeans and a t-shirt not good enough? I mean look at this," the guy waved his hand over his outfit, "I had to change twice before I got approval."

Michael laughed, "Tell me about it, man."

"Yeah," the guy laughed, "don't get me wrong, though, I love her. She's amazing. Like one in a million. Just wish I wasn't her 'project', you know?"

Michael smirked and nodded.

Then he spotted her. He'd known she was there, but seeing her was a little bit different than being aware of her. Beautiful, perfection. Perfect black dress, not a hair out of place. She was coming toward him. Great.

"So, have you two met?" she smiled at him as she stared down with those liquid brown eyes.

'You two'? What two? He turned to the guy next to him who was staring at Isabel wide-eyed and shaking his head slightly.

"This isn't…" the guy's voice trailed off while he pointed at Michael.

Michael looked at the guy and then back at Isabel. Dammit. Be cool…

"We haven't been properly introduced," he said, looking up at her, and wishing he was anywhere but next to her new man.

"Michael, Alex. Alex, Michael," she waved her hand gracefully between them.

Taking in a deep breath, Michael turned and held his hand out to Alex. The guy looked like he was sucking on a lemon, but he shook back.

After a second of awkward silence, Alex stood up and Isabel snaked her arm through his. She was still smiling knowingly down at him. He hated it when she was right, but he actually had liked the guy.

"Tess was looking for you," Isabel said. "She seems upset."

"Wouldn't you be?" he asked. Then he smirked, no she probably wouldn't be.

"I suppose you're the one we have to thank for a being awakened by a drunken Max at 4 a.m.? He was sitting in the kitchen with a carton of ice cream singing 'All by myself'," her tone was playful, teasing.

For a second, it felt like the good old days, despite the fact that she was hanging on another man's arm, and he actually grinned, "Well, at least I drove him home."

She laughed. Her laugh was rich, full, amazing. Alex was looking down at her and smiling. The guy had it bad, really bad, it was written all over his face. Then, she looked up at him and met his eyes. He'd never seen her look like that, never.

For a few seconds he just sat there, staring at them. He'd never seen anything like this before in his life. They were beautiful. Searching each other's eyes, smiling. It was breathtaking…he couldn't take it, his chest felt like it was caving in.

"Well, I'd better go find Tess," he said, getting to his feet. He looked Alex in the eyes, and had a feeling that something had passed between them, so he gave the guy a nod and received one in return.

Then, he walked straight out to his car.

***

One thought had been running through her mind all day… $300, $300, where am I gonna' get $300? There was no way. She knew there was no way for her to get the money. All day she'd been trying to come up with a way, now it was time to go home and she was no closer to an answer. It was hopeless.

If she could just keep it together long enough to get home, long enough to lock herself in her room…

"Maria…" Liz smiled sweetly.

"Yeah?" she asked as she pulled on her coat.

"Would you deliver this on your way home, please? Save me a trip?"

"Not to the guy across the street, right?"

"Oh, come on Maria, I heard you delivered to him last night," Liz's voice was bordering on a whine.

"Yeah, that was a one time deal. By the way, why didn't you tell me that he tips you guys?"

"I thought you knew. He tips big. And when he comes in late at night he always tips a lot too."

"Great, so I'm the only one," she couldn't believe it, but there were tears stinging her eyes. So, she kept it together all day, and the fact that the jerk didn't tip her was going to set her off…Perfect.

Liz started to say something, but Maria didn't want to hear it. She grabbed the brown paper bag and ran out of the diner, waiting until she felt the cool night air on her cheeks to release her tears.

***

He was sitting on his couch staring at the vase of dead flowers on his coffee table. How fitting. There was a light on in the kitchen, but the rest of the place was dark. It should be.

Why did she have to be there? He wished he could believe it was to flaunt her happiness in his face, but he knew it wasn't. She'd been there to support him. Because she cared. That only made things worse. Why couldn't she just leave things alone? Why did she insist on them having some sort of relationship? Couldn't she just cut him loose?

She was madly in love, it was practically storybook. He had never seen anything quite like Isabel and Alex. It was the sort of thing that should make you happy, give you hope. Instead it depressed the hell out of him. There was no storybook for him, more like a fractured fairytale - he felt like he was the evil lord the princess's father tried to force her to marry before the handsome prince came along. Yeah, if his life was a storybook then he was the villain.

The knock on his door disturbed him. Must be Max, probably still broken up about Tess. He wasn't in the mood to try to cheer Max up.

Slowly, he stood and hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans. The door seemed to be miles away, and it felt like it took him years to reach it. When he finally flung it open he was surprised.

It was her. Again.

"Here's your food," her voice cracked as she thrust the bag into his face.

"Uh, come in," he hadn't expected it so soon, he'd just placed the order.

His wallet was still in the pants he'd been wearing earlier, so he left her standing in the entryway while he sprinted upstairs to his room. When he came out a minute later, he found her slumped on the floor with her back against the wall just inside the living room. Her hands were covering her face, and he could see her shoulders shaking.

What the f*ck was this?

"Um, what's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her.

Maybe she was a drug addict or something. That would explain the perpetual bags under her eyes. He'd always figured she had some good-for-nothing guy at home who made her work all of those hours, maybe a couple of rugrats - but it looked like things were even worse than that.

She hadn't responded to him. The light from the kitchen lit her body in strange relief, and he had to fight the urge to grab a sketchpad. There was a look of desperation about her. Yeah, she had to be a junkie.

"Look, I'm sorry you're having a meltdown and everything, but is there any chance you could go have it on the street instead of on my floor?"

For a moment her shoulders stopped shaking and she slid her hands down slightly to reveal her eyes. Soulful eyes, full of worry. No, she looked too coherent to be a junkie. He was starting to feel sorry for her, which pissed him off. Everybody has problems.

Lowering her eyes, she stood shakily to her feet and took a swipe at her cheeks with the fingers of her left hand. Her jaw was clenched and she was biting her bottom lip, obviously trying to keep a handle on her emotions. She looked like a lost kitten. Why was he letting her get to him? She was just some girl.

They stood for a few moments, just inches apart. Him staring at her while she stared at the floor. It took a little while for him to notice that her hand was outstretched, palm up.

Oh, yeah, have to pay her.

He opened his wallet, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what he'd ordered. She was affecting his concentration, and he hated it. Dammit, he couldn't tell her he didn't know how much it was. He always knew, and she knew that he always knew.

She sighed and spoke, though her voice was tremulous, "T-bone, baked potato, dinner salad. $13.75."

So now she was reading his mind. She wasn't special, she wasn't any different than anyone else. Why was she getting under his skin?

"Yeah, I know," he said, irritated because she'd known that he didn't.

"Look, I am having a meltdown, and I can't go home like this. Would you mind if I used your bathroom for a minute?" her tone indicated that she thought he would refuse.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. It's upstairs, first door off the stairs."

"Thanks," she mumbled as she turned and walked up to the second floor.

He watched her as she moved away. She had an unassuming way of moving, her tread was light. It seemed as though she flitted up the staircase, he had an image of a bird taking light steps, ready to fly away if startled. Then, she tripped on the last stair, but recovered smoothly - indication that it happened often. Why was she so fascinating?

After she closed the bathroom door, he plopped down on the couch. How did he go from obsessing about Isabel to watching the waitress as if she were the most interesting thing in the world? He was messed up in the head.

Maybe he was just horny. He hadn't gotten laid. Yeah, that was the most logical explanation, she wouldn't have caught his eye if it weren't for that.

She exited the bathroom and he watched her move down the stairs. Her hands smoothed her hair, which was pulling out of the bun at the back of her head.

He stood, intending to walk her to the door. She stopped in the entryway and looked up at him. Somehow he knew she wanted to thank him.

Her lips moved slightly, and her tongue snaked out to lick them. It did something to him, although he wasn't sure what. She sighed, and her chin trembled slightly as her eyes filled up with tears again. Quickly, she looked away and started to move past him.

He didn't know why, but he moved to block her. She looked up at him, startled. Without thinking, he grabbed her face and kissed her. For a moment she pulled back, but then she leaned into him, placing her hands lightly on his chest.

It was only a few seconds before they broke apart. Staring at one another in shock. Then, her eyes darted quickly from right to left and she stepped past him, practically running out of his door.

 

 

 

Maria carefully shut the door to her room and threw herself onto her bed.

The best thing to do would be to forget about it. Pretend it never happened.

Never happened.

Never happened.

Never happened…

Why had she broken down like that in his apartment? And, how pathetic was it that kissing him made her feel more alive than she had in months? She couldn't bear the thought of it. It was too awful.

Never happened. Never happened. Never happened.

***

The steak was cold, and the salad had carrots. He hated carrots. It probably wasn't her fault, but he blamed her anyway.

So, he threw the food in the trash and walked to the new canvas he'd hung on the wall. Before he knew it, he was painting. Really working. Creating.

It wasn't Isabel he saw staring back at him, it was her. The waitress's eyes were glaring down at him from the wall. Green eyes, haunting. He'd been inspired by unusual things before, so it didn't really mean anything.

When he was done, he stood away from the wall and looked at his own work, feeling pride for the first time in months. He actually liked what he'd done. Amazing.

The clock on the wall read that it was midnight. Feeling slightly exhausted, he threw himself down on the sofa, and for the first time noticed the cash sitting on the coffee table. Sh*t. He'd put it there after she had gone to the bathroom, and he'd forgotten to give it to her after she came out. Well, he'd just have to run it in to her tomorrow. For some reason, the thought of seeing her made him nervous.

***

Maria hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Her neck ached, and her feet were sore. It was only noon, she still had nine hours to go. She was tempted to go home sick, but she really couldn't afford to. So far she'd been lucky, he hadn't shown his face yet, but knowing her luck he would at any moment. How could she face him? How could she have kissed him? Why had he kissed her? The thoughts tumbled through her brain as she moved mechanically through the lunch hour, and were still present when she realized he was sitting at the counter. She hadn't even noticed him come in.

Never had she dreaded waiting on him as much as she did at this moment. He sat and stared at her as she brought him a Cherry Coke.

"Uh, I forgot to pay you last night," he said, as he shoved a twenty across the table at her.

For a moment she was lost. She hadn't expected him to speak to her. It took her a little while to process what he was saying, but when she finally did, she stared down at the twenty. Twenty. Not exact change. She grabbed it and walked over to the cash register and pulled out the $6.25 he was owed.

She set the change down in front of him carefully, and she saw him staring at it. He pocketed the quarter, and then laid his hand solidly on the bills and moved them across the counter towards her. Glancing up at him, she raised her eyebrows and used her finger to push the bills back at him. Instantly he met her gaze, and narrowed his eyes into a glare. Dropping his fist onto the money, he shoved it back at her.

Maria didn't know what had gotten into her, before she had been scheming ways to avoid the guy, and now she was locked in a battle of wills with him. Meeting his eyes again, she carefully picked up the bills and held them in front of his nose, then she released them so that they fluttered down into his lap.

He looked enraged, but she was through taking his crap. Of course he wouldn't look down at the money, just continued to glare at her. Slowly she drew out her order pad and began writing.

Saturday...lunch, tuna melt...

"You don't know me," he said tersely, as if she had claimed that she did.

"Whatever."

"Take the goddamn money."

"Not a chance in hell," she was amazed at the steel in her voice.

"I don't want a tuna melt."

"Ok, what do you want then?"

He looked frustrated, and his brow was furrowed as if he was trying to figure something out.

After staring at her a little longer, he let out an exasperated sigh, "Oh, just bring me the stupid tuna melt."

"Fine."

" Fine."

She walked to the order window and handed in his order.

***

"Hey Tess."

"Michael," she said with a small smile as she reached up to hug him.

This sort of thing always made him feel awkward, so he carefully patted her back a couple of times and then pulled away. Her smile was amused as she watched him.

"Uh, where's your stuff?" he asked gesturing into the empty entryway.

"Well, my bags are in the bedroom. The rest of my furniture and stuff is going into storage on Monday, I hired movers. Not that much of anything was mine," she laughed softly.

"So, I'll just go get your things then," he said moving past her toward the bedroom in the back of the apartment.

"Thanks, I'll have to help, there's quite a bit."

He moved through the living room and down the back hallway, noticing that most of the pictures had been taken down. They were probably all hers. There were boxes littering the hallway, and in the bedroom, he saw several more.

Break ups, they were all about dividing lives. Everything that had co-mingled during your time together had to be separated. He remembered the boxes he'd taken over to Isabel's. Things he'd found in his old apartment. Some of her CD's, a few pairs of underwear and bras, the espresso maker she'd insisted on leaving there, her running shoes, her umbrella…

"Michael?" Tess's voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned to see her standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Are you sure this is all right? I don't want to get between you and Max. Believe me, if I had anyone else…" her voice trailed off as she sighed.

"No, no. It's fine. I was just thinking. You know - about break-ups. Dividing stuff," he looked at her and shrugged.

She nodded slowly, "Isabel…"

Tess had been there through the whole Isabel ordeal. To begin with he'd had a hard time being around Max, because he was her brother. Really, it was Tess who'd spent the most time with him over the first few weeks. She'd helped. Michael remembered that at the end of the first week, during one of his real low points, she came over to his place while he was out and cleaned it up. He'd arrived home to the smell of something baking, she'd made him cookies. At the time the gesture had touched him very deeply. It was nice to know someone still cared.

Did Tess need something like that? He wished he knew how to help her. It was Saturday night, maybe he should take her to a movie or out to dinner or something.

"So…" he said, raising his eyebrows as he grabbed her largest suitcase and two of the duffles.

She smiled as she grabbed what looked like a make-up case and the last duffle, "So…"

"Uh, wanna' go?" he asked, not knowing what to say.

"Lead the way," she grinned, and he walked out of the bedroom and down the hall.

***

Maria couldn't help but smile when she saw the cute guy sit down at her section of the counter. He had dark hair and eyes, and was dressed nicely. She wagged her eyebrows at Liz and nodded her head toward the guy. Liz's mouth had formed an impressed 'o' and she'd grinned back at Maria. Too bad he had to wait until her shift was almost over to show up.

"Hi," she smiled, "can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh, ah, no thank you," he looked up at her as if he were confused, but then he smiled, "wait, what am I saying? Um, coffee. Please."

Her smile turned into a grin as she got him a cup of coffee. Sunday mornings were generally busy, but it was half past 11, so things were calming down. Normally this was her day off, but Agnes had asked for someone to cover the 6-12, and she'd immediately stepped up - she needed to the money.

"Here we are, one cup of coffee," she set the cup down in front of him. "Did you get a chance to look at the menu?"

"Oh, no, not yet. Actually, could you tell me what would be fast? I'm sort of waiting for a friend."

"Well, we could have an omelet ready for you in five minutes or less," she winked at him.

"Ok, sure. Can you make it a Denver?"

"Absolutely," she smiled again as she walked to the order window.

God, he was cute. It had been so long since she'd flirted with a guy she hoped she could remember how. She moved back into his area and pretended to be wiping the counter.

"So, have you worked here long?" he asked her.

She smiled at him, "Uh, yeah, about a year and a half."

"Oh. So is waitressing tough?"

"Well, you know, it's work, but I like it. Get to meet a lot of interesting people," she smiled again. He seemed easy going, he had beautiful brown eyes…And, was it just her imagination or was he flirting back? No, surely not…

"Do you do this full time? You look like a student."

She was amazed. How could he tell that she wasn't a 'lifer'?

"Well, actually, I'm not in school anymore. I'm going back as soon as I can though."

"What were you studying?"

"Oh, I hadn't declared yet - just was doing the req's, but I was leaning toward advertising," she blushed slightly, "I know it's corny, but there's a lot less math than business, so…"

He laughed, "I'm in advertising."

"You're joking," she gave him a grin.

"No, I really am," he was grinning back.

She couldn't believe it, for the first time in what felt like years she was having a conversation with a guy.

The bell over the door jingled. Of course. Who else could it possibly be? She'd been enjoying herself, so naturally he would have to walk in.

"Max," he said, looking at the guy in front of her.

Oh, no. This couldn't be the 'friend'.

The dark haired dream turned around to look at 'no tip', "Michael."

Great. Naturally. She would be flirting with a guy who was friends with the wacko. The wacko she'd sort of kissed. Now he'd tell 'tall-dark-and-handsome' that she was a slut.

***

Michael sat down next to Max, "Why didn't you just come in?"

He looked up at the girl. She didn't work Sundays.

Max glanced up at the waitress and then back at him, "Um, I was about to knock on your door when I heard Tess's voice inside. So, I decided to call and have you meet me over here."

"Oh. Didn't she tell you she was staying with me?"

"No," Max looked at him carefully.

"Max, come on. I'm practically the only friend she's got, and she can't move into her new place for a week. She couldn't afford to stay in a hotel."

"Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Sorry. Just didn't expect her to be there. How is she? Is she even upset?" Max asked, looking down at the coffee cup in his hand.

"Of course she's upset. Why wouldn't she be upset?" Michael asked, glancing up at the waitress, wondering why she hadn't brought him his Cherry Coke yet. She was scowling at him, so he scowled back and pointed at the soda machine. She rolled her eyes and moved away.

"What was that?" Max asked, gesturing at the blonde who was now standing in front of the soda fountain.

"She's getting me a drink. So, why wouldn't Tess be upset?"

"Well, she's the one that broke things off," Max said, still glancing between him and the waitress.

"Really?" Michael said, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, didn't she tell you?"

"No," Michael said, "nobody told me anything except that you'd broken up. You, I got drunk. Her, I offered a place to stay."

The waitress slammed the drink down in front of him and crossed her arms. He ignored her.

Max was looking back and forth between him and the girl with a strange look on his face, "I'm sorry about him," he waved his hand in Michael's direction, "he was raised by monkeys."

The girl laughed. Michael couldn't help but look up at her. He'd never heard her laugh before. It sounded so free, as if she'd abandoned herself to it. She was smiling down at Max.

"That's ok," she said lightly, "I know him."

"Oh, really?" Max said looking up at her with a dumb grin on his face.

She sighed and nodded her head, grinning back at him.

Dear God, they were flirting. Max was flirting with the waitress.

Michael slapped him on the shoulder with the back of his hand, "Geez, do you need to do that? Tess is right across the street. What if she were to walk in and see you flirting with the waitress?"

Max didn't break his gaze from the blonde. She was actually looking him in the eyes. But, she never looked anyone in the eye.

"I'm sure that - uh, what's your name?" Max raised his eyebrows at the girl.

"Maria," she said soflty.

"Right, Maria. I'm sure that Maria would agree with me that we were just having a very nice conversation," Max smiled knowingly at her.

"Of course…" she replied with a wink.

Michael was fuming, "Knock it off."

Max looked at him and grinned.

"Maria," the brunette waitress walked up to them holding a plate, "is this omelet yours?"

Michael was fairly sure that the girl's name was Liz. She wanted to be a molecular biologist or a marine biologist or something.

"Oh yeah, thanks Liz," Maria seemed slightly embarrassed, "it belongs to this gentleman."

"Ok," Liz smiled slyly as she laid the plate in front of Max, then walked away.

"Great job you're doing there," Michael said sarcastically, smirking up at the blonde.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

Max cleared his throat, and covered his mouth with his hand – but not before Michael caught sight of the smile he was trying to hide.

‘Maria’ walked away, and Michael glanced at Max, “So, what exactly did happen between you and Tess?”

“I proposed. She started crying and said it would never work,” Max’s voice got soft and his eyes glazed over slightly.

“Never work?” Michael asked, raising his eyebrows. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. She just said ‘it would never work’ and that there really wasn’t any point in staying together any longer. So, I left. The strangest part was that I was sort of relieved.”

“What do you mean ‘relieved’?”

“I don’t know, Michael. I walked out the door, after she told me it was over, and I felt like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders,” Max shook his head as if to clear it. “Don’t get me wrong, I was upset, extremely upset - you saw me the other night – but, I was also relieved. It was so weird. One minute, I’m asking this woman to spend the rest of her life with me, and then I’m almost glad when she says she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

Michael was a little stunned. He’d had no idea that Max had planned to propose. Of course, if he had known, he never would have guessed that Tess would turn him down. Or that Max would be happy about it. They’d always seemed so perfect together…

“Maxwell, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Michael said.

“I know,” Max replied, taking a bite of his omelet.

“So, you’re not going to try to patch things up?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“No. She made it clear that it was over. And, like I said, I’m not really as broken up about it as you’d think,” Max shrugged as he took another bite.

Michael couldn’t understand Max’s reaction. He’d always thought the guy was madly in love with Tess. Well, maybe not madly, but they’d always seemed to fit together. Weird. Five years.

“You’ve got problems, man,” Michael said.

“Yeah,” Max said sincerely over a mouthful of omelet.

Out of the corner of his eye, Michael saw the blonde walk out the door. Her shift must be over. He noticed that Max was watching the girl as well. The brunette walked up to pour Max some more coffee.

Max turned to Michael after the girl was fully out the door, “What was up with you and the waitress?”

The brunette laughed and leaned on the counter, looking at Max, “Aren’t they something?”

Nodding, Max turned to look the girl in the eye, “The minute he walked in the door, it was… electric.”

Michael glanced back and forth between them. What were they talking about?

“I know,” ‘Liz’ said conspiratorially, “customers are always asking me what their story is.”

“ Really?” Max raised his eyebrows and glanced amusedly over at Michael.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael muttered angrily.

Liz laughed, and jerked her chin toward Michael, “I tried to ask her about it once, and she reacted just like that.”

Max was grinning now, “I’ve never seen anything like it. Is that what you call ‘chemistry’?”

Liz nodded rapidly, smiling her head off at Max.

They didn’t know what they were talking about. There wasn’t anything between him and the blonde - ‘Maria’. She wasn’t even his type.

Max was now heavily in conversation with the brunette. Flirting again. He really must be getting over Tess. It sort of reminded him of Isabel. They were definitely related.

Disgusted, Michael stood and tossed a twenty onto the counter, “See you ‘round, Max.”

Max just watched him curiously as he left the diner.

***

Damn him. Damn him and his stupid timing, and his lousy attitude, and his smirks and his not tipping…

Her feet pounded the pavement on her way home. She knew she needed to have her anger vented by the time she got there.

Maria walked into the apartment and found Kyle and Abby sitting on the couch watching cartoons.

“Hey guys,” she said.

“Hi,” they replied together, not taking their eyes from the screen.

“Uh, what would you say to getting out of the house on this lovely Sunday afternoon, Abby? It’s not very warm, but the sun is shining. I thought we could head over to the park, maybe play on the swings?”

“Ok, Aunt Maria,” Abby smiled.

“Go get your coat, kiddo,” Kyle said.

“We’ll be back in half an hour or so,” Maria told her brother.

He smiled and grabbed his crutches. She watched him hobble over to his computer and sit down. Seeing him in front of it made her feel guilty. If she couldn’t come up with some money within the next few days she would have to ask him to pawn it. Of course she’d gotten an extra shift at the diner, but it wouldn’t be enough.

“Ready to go,” Abby said behind her.

“Good,” Maria smiled and reached out for her niece’s hand. Some time in the sunshine would be good for both of them.

***

Michael didn’t really know where he was going. All he knew was that he couldn’t go back to his place because Tess was there. And of course he couldn’t go back to the diner.

He just started walking aimlessly down the block, jamming his hands in the pockets of his jeans to keep them warm in the cool fall air. This was his favorite time of year. The weather was always unpredictable, and he liked that.

Thoughts about Tess and Max were unavoidable. He didn’t know why their break up was bothering him so much. It wasn’t as if he believed in the whole ‘happily ever after’ thing. There was just something about the look on Max’s face…it was so Isabel. Was this what she’d said to people after their break up? That she was relieved? Of course she must have been relieved. She’d been f*cking another guy for crying out loud.

As he crossed the street, he noticed that his shoe was untied and looked around for some place to sit down. There were benches in the little park on the next block, so he picked up his pace, heading for one of them.

He’d just sat down when he spotted her, walking out of a building across the street. She was holding a little girl by the hand. Yep, he knew she had to have at least one. Her uniform was still on, and he wondered if she was cold with her legs bare in the chilly air.

The little girl was cute, brown hair, big eyes. Didn’t really look like her, though. She was jumping up and down, pointing at the swings not far from where he was sitting. After a moment, the blonde followed the little girl’s excited motions with her eyes and she spotted him. No real emotions passed over her face. He knew that she saw him, but she didn’t really acknowledge him.

It didn’t occur to him to get up and leave. He was fascinated. Watching her outside the diner. She sat the little girl down on a swing, and then she pushed her to get her going. There was a smile on her face. A happy smile. He’d seen polite and amused before, but never happy. Somehow it changed her looks, taking her from drab to bright.

After the girl was pumping and swinging on her own, she moved over to the bench and sat down next to him. He wasn’t really sure why she did. Maybe she was just trying to prove that she wasn’t afraid of him. She’d been a little touchy lately.

“Why are you here?” she asked, keeping her eyes on the little girl.

“I was here first. Why are you here?”

“I would think it’s perfectly obvious why I’m here,” she nodded in the direction of the swings.

“Well, I don’t need a reason. I’m just here,” he leaned back on the bench, stretching out his legs and crossing his ankles while crossing his arms over his chest. It was the same cocky position he’d always assumed in high school when the teacher started picking on him.

She looked over at him. Looked him up and down, head to toe. He almost shivered under her gaze. It was so probing. Sighing softly, she smoothed her hair back with her hand and turned back to watch the little girl.

It took every ounce of strength that he had not to look at her. Instead, he watched the little girl. She really didn’t look much like the waitress.
 

 

 

“Kyle, I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, Maria?” he glanced up briefly from the computer monitor.

“Um, I have a little problem.”

His jaw clenched, and he turned toward her slowly, his voice was soft, almost scared, “What is it?”

“Well, um, a while ago I had to dip onto my credit card. It only had a $250 limit, so I kept telling myself I’d get it paid off eventually…You know, my old work shoes broke, and there was that month we didn’t have any cash left for groceries-.”

“Maria…just tell me.”

“Uh, I haven’t been able to make the minimums for a couple of months. They’re trying to take me to court. If they do, I’ll have to pay their attorney fees. So, I called them, and they said if I had the money by Friday…”

Carefully he swallowed, obviously trying to act as if it wasn’t a big deal, “How much?”

“It’s ah, $300. There were all of these late fees tacked on. Look, if I had anything else to sell, I wouldn’t come to you, but I honestly don’t. This is why I took the extra shift this morning, and that should give me an extra $60 or so…”

“Well, I must have something left to sell,” he took a quick look around the room. Most of their furniture would be lucky to fetch $5 at a garage sale.

Maria couldn’t keep her eyes from sliding to his computer. He’d bought it only weeks before the accident. Although she knew they didn’t really hold their value, she knew it had to be worth at least $200.

Kyle caught her staring at it and looked over at it himself. There was a brief look of fear on his face, then he reached for his crutches, and mumbled, “I’ll be right back.”

He returned and handed her his watch and his wedding ring, before sitting back down in front of the computer.

“Kyle, are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I don’t need them. Anything I have is yours, you know that. I owe you more than I can ever repay, Maria,” he didn’t look at her, but stared blankly at the monitor screen.

She nodded slowly, and whispered, “Thank you.”

***

He grabbed the last of Tess’s bags and walked out the front door to throw it in the backseat of the taxi.

“You could have let me drive you,” he said, looking down at her as she was moving to get into the car.

“Michael, this is the only way to start my new ‘independent’ phase.”

He couldn’t help but smile a little, “Yeah, ok.”

She patted his cheek, “Thank you for everything. For letting me stay, and not prying, and just generally being your wonderful self.”

He nodded and rolled his eyes, “All right. Get out of here.”

“Bye, Michael!” she called as she ducked her head into the vehicle.

Smiling, he gave her a little wave and then watched the taxi drive away. He walked into his front door and immediately the phone rang.

“Yeah?”

“Michael?”

“Well, yeah, Max.”

“Um, listen…Iz…well, she’s planning to pay you a visit.”

“Why?”

“I-I…I don’t really know. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.”

“Thanks,” Michael said, running his hand through his hair wearily.

“Yeah, sure. Uh, I’m gonna’ be in the neighborhood tomorrow afternoon, so I thought I’d stop by.”

“On a Friday afternoon? Max the workaholic in my neighborhood before the end of the workday. That’s normal.”

“Well, I’ve got a date…”

“A date.”

“Yeah, you do remember what a date is, don’t you? I know you can’t get one-.”

“Shut up, Max.”

“Well, anyway, I thought I’d stop by, in case you need to talk.”

“In case I need to talk…”

“You know, since Isabel’s coming to see you, I thought…”

“Yeah. What the hell is she coming to see me for, Maxwell?”

“I’d rather let her tell you.”

“Thanks man, you give new meaning to the term ‘friend’.”

“Mich-.”

Michael clicked the phone off and tossed it onto the counter, taking a deep breath.

***

Maria felt like the money was a heavy lump in her pocket. $160 was all she’d gotten for the watch and the ring that morning. It wasn’t enough. She’d spoken to the attorney, and he’d said that as long as she had $298 to him by tomorrow things would be all right. But, she didn’t have it. She was about $50 short.

“Mrya!”

She glanced over at the cook. He looked angry, probably had been trying to get her attention. Putting an apologetic smile on, she walked over to the order window and picked up the plates he’d just set there. Two cheeseburgers for the guys at booth three.

Walking over to them, she put on her biggest smile, hoping it might earn her a nice tip, “Ok, boys, two cheeseburgers.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” the forty-ish one said giving her an approving once-over.

She tried not to cringe.

“No problem, anything else I can do for you?”

“Oh, there’s plenty you can do for me, honey,” the younger one said raising his eyebrows, and glancing at his buddy for a sick laugh.

Just smile and nod, smile and nod…

She gave them a smile and walked away. No, they definitely weren’t going to leave a good tip.

What was she going to do? She’d waited until today to pawn Kyle’s things, hoping she’d find another solution. Of course she hadn’t. As it was she’d had to ask for a pay advance for the money she’d earned from her Sunday shift. There was only one thing left to do. Ask for another advance for the other $50, and just pray she’d be able to make up the gap in their monthly budget. It would be tough. The only area that was ever flexible was groceries, and she hated the thought of Abby eating Top Ramen for the rest of the month.

“Hey, Maria,” Liz’s voice sounded from behind her.

“Hey, just get here?”

“Yup. Sorry. My class ran a little over.”

“No prob. It’s not rush time yet.”

“Yeah, I know. I wish Murray would let me come in at 4:30 instead of 4:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Maria laughed, Murray did keep them on an interesting schedule.

“So, Liz…you getting nervous?”

Liz smiled shyly, “No…”

“Come on…”

“No, Maria,” she giggled.

Maria winked at her, “Sure…”

“No,” she grinned, “stop it. Hey, he flirted with you first.”

“Yeah, like anybody would look at me twice with you around,” Maria nudged her friend.

Liz rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Maria. So, how are the tips today?”

“Not great. Wish they were better, I could use the money.”

Nodding sympathetically, Liz smiled softly. She was really the only one who knew Maria’s situation, “I wish I could help…”

Instantly, Maria felt embarrassed, “Oh no. Nothing like that. I can handle it. Just complaining, you know,” she finished with a lame smile.

Liz didn’t look thoroughly convinced, “Yeah…Well, hey at least you haven’t had to deal with ‘no tip’.”

For a moment Maria felt nervous, but then she saw the joking smile on Liz’s face. She hadn’t seen the guy since the incident in the park on Sunday. In a way she was glad, but it was strange not to see him. Sometimes he wouldn’t come in for a day or two, but he’d never stayed away for so long. It sort of bothered her.

“Yeah, I guess I should be thankful for the small things,” Maria joked back to Liz.

***

Michael stood looking into his open fridge. It had been really nice having Tess there to cook for him. He’d even had leftovers for lunch everyday. Well, not everyday, but he hadn’t needed to go to the diner all week…

He grabbed the phone and dialed the number.

“Hey, Jose…Yeah, it’s really me, not dead or anything…No, had a friend staying for a few days and she likes to cook, so…Just the usual…Thanks, man.”

Just as he clicked the phone off he heard a knock at the door. There was no way they were this fast.

He flung the door open, half expecting the blonde…

Sh*t.

“Isabel.”

“Hi. May I come in?”

He stared at her. Of course he’d had a warning that she was coming…

“Yeah…” he backed up a little, allowing her to enter.

“Oh, you re-did the paneling. I haven’t been here since…”

“I know.”

She moved gracefully into the room and settled herself onto the easy chair in near the windows. Instantly, she looked at home. As if the furniture and the surroundings had been created to frame her. Her smile was thoughtful as she watched him lean against the wall of the entryway.

“Michael, why don’t you come sit down?”

He started to move to obey, and then realized that this was his house and he should be the one inviting people to sit.

“Been sitting, rather stand.”

A faint look of irritation passed over her face, but she quickly composed herself, and gave him an amused smile, “Do you hate me?”

“No.”

“Good. Because I don’t hate you. You’re important to me, Michael. I think you always will be. Even if you don’t really believe it, I just want you to be happy, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Isabel, I don’t wanna’ talk about it,” he rolled his eyes and tried to look nonchalant, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a soda out of the fridge. A voice in the back of his mind told him he should offer her one, but he knew she’d just help herself if she wanted anything. Obviously she felt as ‘at home’ in his place as she had when they were still together.

“Michael there’s something I need to tell you.”

He popped open the can and leaned over the kitchen counter, “What?”

She turned to look at him, forced to re-position herself in the chair, “I’m pregnant.”

Michael nearly choked, but somehow managed to stay calm, mainly by coming up with something cruel to say to her, “Well, that’s always been a transient state for you. Give it another week.”

Sighing, she looked down at her hands, as if he had told her to go sit in the corner, “Please, this isn’t easy for me…”

He scoffed, “It’s always been easy for you.”

“I’m keeping the baby. Alex and I will be married next month.”

“Wonderful. Congratulations. Be sure to let me know where you’re registered,” he turned and threw the half finished soda into the kitchen sink. It hit with a large bang and bounced a few times before rolling to a stop over the drain.

“Michael-.”

“What?” he whirled back to look at her. “Couldn’t you have just told me this the other day? Why drag it out? Next week I suppose you’ll want to meet me for coffee to tell me you have a brain tumor.”

She looked hurt at his words, and he saw the tear slip down her cheek, “I didn’t know until a few days ago.”

“Huh. Didn’t need weeks to debate about what to do? Already decided to keep it. So, uh, was this ‘Alex’ guy lucky enough to be informed of your ‘decision’? Does he know he’s going to be a father?”

“Yes, Michael, of course he knows,” she stood, and walked toward the kitchen. She almost seemed to glide, holding his gaze.

God, he wished he could hate her.

“Well, of course he does,” his voice was sarcastic but hoarse. “He must have passed inspection. Been found worthy to impregnate the almighty Isabel Evans.”

Stopping in front of him, she reached up to touch his cheek. He shied away from her.

“Michael-.”

“ Don’t,” he whispered.

“This is why I wanted to tell you in person,” she said softly, looking forlornly at him, “I was afraid you’d think that. Please, don’t hate me. It was what was right at the time.”

“ For you,” he wished his voice was harsher, but he knew it was weak and pathetic.

She nodded, slowly, another tear sliding down her cheek. Again, she reached to touch him and he took another step backwards. Her fingers reached out in his direction for a moment before her arm fell gracefully to her side.

“Michael…”

He cleared his throat, regained a little bit of his composure. Crossing his arms over his chest, he nodded toward the door, “I think you know your way out.”

“Please-.”

Narrowing his eyes, he pointed at the entryway, “The door’s over there.”

Isabel shook her head sadly and sighed, giving him a sad look. He tried to ignore her and turned back to the fridge to pull out another soda.

Just keep it together for another minute…

When he backed away from the refrigerator he saw her standing by the door, watching him.

“I’ll always love you, Michael,” her voice broke.

He almost cracked. It took all of his strength to stop himself from going to her and wrapping her in his arms. She might deserve his anger, but she didn’t really deserve this…

“Bye,” he said, looking her in the eyes, trying to look impassive.

Nodding, she turned and walked out the door.

***

Maria was lost in thought as she refilled the napkin holders. Murray had just brought her the second advance she’d asked for. There had been questions in his eyes, but she’d somehow avoided them. He was a nice guy, she was lucky. Now, she just had to figure out how to tell Kyle that she’d had to take money out of her normal pay. He wouldn’t say anything, she knew. If he did, it would probably be about the fact that it was her money, and she could do whatever she liked. That just made it worse.

“Maria…” Liz’s voice called behind her.

“Yeah?”

Liz laughed softly, “Uh, you were lost in space there for a little while.”

Maria tried to smile, “Oh, sorry. Just thinking about stuff.”

“Yeah, sure,” Liz teased. “You were dreaming about going home. I know that ‘my shift is over in five minutes’ look.”

Trying to laugh, Maria put down the dispenser she was holding and grabbed the box of napkins to return it to the back room.

“Liz,” the cook said sharply. “Got a delivery.”

Maria turned to hear Liz say a quick “Ok.”

“Uh, I’ll do it for you, Liz. I’m leaving anyway.”

Liz peaked her head into the kitchen as Maria exited the back room, “Did I hear you right?”

“Well, it’s for the guy across the street, right?” Maria asked, looking in Jose’s direction.

He nodded absently, not really looking up at her.

“Maria, are you feeling all right? I never thought I’d see the day that you’d volunteer to go over there,” Liz looked at her with scrutiny.

If she was honest with herself, Maria would have to admit that she never thought she’d see the day either. She didn’t really know why she wanted to do it. For some reason it sounded exciting. It would give her something to worry about other than the money situation, for a few minutes anyway. Something about the situation with Michael distracted her. Of course, it put her at about a seventh grade maturity level to think about it so much, but still…

“Yeah, Liz, I feel fine. I’m leaving anyway, no big deal.”

“Right…” Liz said amusedly as she turned back into the dining room.

Maria quickly put her coat on and grabbed the paper bag containing his food. The night air was bitterly cold on her face as she stepped outside, and the rain drops that pelted her were blown in from the side making them sting. She pulled her collar up and dashed across the street, pausing just inside the door to his building to shake the water off of her hair and coat. It was a moment before she noticed the woman standing outside his door.

The woman was tall and blonde, dressed very nicely in gray slacks and a crisply pressed maroon shirt. Her black leather coat was laid over her crossed arms, and her eyes were closed, her head leaned back against the wall. She looked chic, perfect. Feeling horribly inadequate, Maria awkwardly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, knowing she needed to alert the woman to her presence, but not wanting to disturb her.

Before Maria had a chance to speak, the woman opened her eyes and looked in her direction. A small smile spread across her perfect lips, and Maria couldn’t help but give her a tiny one in return.

“I was just leaving,” the woman said softly, moving away from the wall and walking past her out the door.

For a moment, Maria stared after the woman, but then remembered why she was there and walked over to the door and knocked. No answer, so she knocked again. Maybe he wasn’t here and that was why the woman had been waiting in the hallway, no that didn’t make sense.

Just as she raised her hand to knock again, he threw the door open.

“What?!?” he seemed surprised to see her, and his face relaxed slightly. “Oh, it’s you.”

The apartment was dark behind him, and his face was pale and drawn. Maybe he’d been sick and that was why he hadn’t been in. Whatever his problem was, he looked awful, and she felt badly for him.

He was just sitting there staring at her, so she spoke, “Uh, do you want me to bring this in for you?”

A look of confusion passed over his face, but then he stepped aside and let her in.

***

He was surprised to see the girl. Turning, he watched her walk inside the apartment to his kitchen. Closing the door, he followed her, and saw her unpacking the bag, laying the items out on the counter.

She looked up at him, and her brow was furrowed slightly, her face was lit only by the light streaming in from the large rain soaked windows in the living room. Her hair was pulled back into a bun as usual, and as usual, several strands had escaped. There were raindrops shining on her everywhere: in her hair, on her face, on her coat. Those eyes looked large and dark in the moonlight. He had the sudden urge to paint them again.

“So, uh…Thursday…chicken fried steak, dinner salad, slice of cherry pie…” her voice trailed off as she moved her eyes to the ceiling as if in thought.

“$11.50,” he said softly, answering her own question for her.

“Yeah,” she looked down at the food on the counter and bit her lower lip. Then, she shivered.

“Let me go get my wallet,” he said.

She nodded, and then sneezed as he walked toward the stairs. While he was in his bedroom he heard her sneeze a couple more times, and then she did it again as he was walking down the stairs. He noticed that she was shivering almost uncontrollably.

“Uh…sorry… achoo,” she paused to wait for the sneeze to pass then looked at him again, “the chills, this always happens… aaaaachoooooo,” she sniffed, and wrapped her arms around herself, still shivering, “…need warm water. Can I use your… achoo…”

He nodded and motioned his hand toward the stairs without waiting to hear more. She looked gratefully up at him as she sneezed again, then threw her coat onto the counter and ran for the stairs.

Michael watched her as she disappeared into the bathroom. She was so strange. Always doing something totally unexpected. After that day in the park, when she’d been so tough and put him on his guard, it seemed almost bizarre that she was now being polite and asking for his help. If it weren’t for the fact that she’d got him really working again he’d just ignore her, but she was slightly intriguing.

For about five minutes, he leaned on the kitchen counter, wondering when she would be down. He pulled a twenty out of his wallet and laid it on the counter. She probably wouldn’t have change with her. It would be interesting to see her unable to refuse a tip. Yeah, that would restore the balance between them. After all, she was just the waitress in the diner across the street. Being inspired by her was like being inspired by the check-out girl at the grocery store, or the guy at the post office, just people with pathetic dreary lives that made him think.

Ten minutes later, he moved to sit on the couch. What on earth was she doing up there? He looked outside at the rain pounding down on the windowpanes. Right now, he wanted to be sitting by himself, obsessing about why he had never been good enough for Isabel. She was interrupting his self-torture, and it was pissing him off. Now was the time to be wondering what made ‘Alex’ worthy of her when he never had been. He really didn’t want to spend time sitting in his living room wondering if the ‘waitress’ was snorting lines of coke off his toilet seat.

Five minutes passed, and he rose to climb the steps. He was standing in front of the door, and ready to knock when she opened it, and turned off the light. His presence made her jump. She let out a small gasp and put her hand over her heart.

“Sorry,” she said softly, staring down at her shoes, “ever since I was a little kid that’s happened.”

She glanced up at him through her lashes. It had to be the moonlight. Suddenly, she looked very appealing, and he had no idea why.

Michael wasn’t sure which one of them moved first, although he had a sneaking suspicion it was him.

His hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her forward. Her head tipped back, and her eyes closed as his lips met hers.

The taste of bubblegum was on her lips, and her small hands felt feather light as she slid them up to cup his neck. Her touch excited him, making him want more. He flicked his tongue out to lick her lips, and she opened her mouth to him. Moving his hands down, he gripped her hips and pulled her tightly to him. Oh God, she was turning him on.

He broke away from her mouth and placed rough kisses along her jaw, working his way down to her neck. She moved her head to the side, giving him easy access. Her skin smelled faintly of flowers, and he bit softly at the crux of her neck before moving back to kiss her full lips again.

She stood on tip-toe, pressing herself to him as she kissed him hotly, completely.

When he reached down and grabbed her ass pulling her up, she complied, wrapping her legs around his waist, and burying one of her hands in his hair.

So, she was just another chick after all. Just another in a long line who wanted to screw him, probably so that she could brag to her friends. Well, he’d let her. He needed a distraction. Holding her with one hand, he reached into the drawer below the bathroom sink, feeling around blindly for a condom as he kissed her.

*************************

Part 4B
*************************

Finally, he found one and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans as he set her down on the counter, and began unzipping her uniform. Their lips never broke contact as he worked her zipper down and she slid her hands up under his t-shirt. When the zipper was all the way down, he moved his hands around her waist. Her skin was smooth and tight, and he spread his fingers wide on her back, grabbing her, pulling her closer.

Moving back for a split second, she sucked on his bottom lip and shrugged quickly out of the sleeves, letting the uniform fall back onto the counter behind her. He moved his hands up quickly to undo her bra in the back, and she rolled her shoulders forward slightly so that he could pull it off. Then, he let his hands wander down to her tiny cotton panties. She shifted off of the counter slightly so that he could pull them away from her.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss and looked down at her. She seemed slightly self-conscious under his gaze and reached for him, urging him back into a kiss. Her breasts were almost perfect, and he couldn’t resist moving his right hand up to feel one of them. Sliding his hand over it, he felt her nipple harden and flicked it with his thumb. She moaned.

Her hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, and pulled upwards, he let her pull the shirt off of him quickly, and then he picked her up off the counter again, feeling her legs wrap around him. He turned and pressed her back against the open bathroom door. She moved one arm from around his back and slid it down between them to caress him through his jeans, he was so hard it was beginning to hurt. Kissing him hungrily, she deftly opened the button on his jeans and unzipped them using only one hand.

Thinking quickly, he snaked one hand into his pocket and pulled out the foil wrapper before she began shoving his pants down. Soon they were pooled at his ankles and he stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. He wanted her, and he wanted her now.

Pressing her against the door to steady her, he brought his hand around to touch her lower lips. He felt her wetness before he even slipped his fingers inside. Flicking her clit once with his thumb, he roughly pushed two fingers inside her. She leaned her head back against the door hard, letting out a long gasp as she broke his kiss again.

So, she was one of those. Ready to go at the drop of a hat. Briefly he wondered how much practice she’d had, as he ripped the condom wrapper open with his teeth and quickly pulled his boxers off before sheathing himself with the latex. He was painfully hard, and almost shaking with anticipation. It was probably because it had been a while since he’d actually had a girl.

He moved himself to her entrance, and teased her, moving himself back and forth across her slick, puckered lips. She groaned, and pushed back against the door, as if she was bracing herself. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lower lip, as her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers brushed softly against his neck. If she wanted it like that, she could have it. Quickly he used himself to open her and then drove home.

Oh God. Oh no.

Too late. He felt it too late. The barrier, the resistance, there for just a brief second before his momentum tore through it.

Her head was turned to the side, and she was biting her bottom lip even harder. She had her eyes closed tightly, and her arms squeezed his neck tightly. Two tears fell quickly, one after another from the eye that he could see.

No. Why? Why had she let him do it?

She was in pain. It was written all over her face, and her body was horribly tense. Not to mention that she was so tight it hurt him. He wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed as though time had frozen and he contemplated what to do next, unable to breathe, still buried deep inside her.

Just as he had decided to pull out, her death-grip on his neck loosened, and she slowly exhaled. Opening her eyes, she turned to look at him full on, staring right into his eyes. She looked uncertain, and cocked her head to the side. Her eyes seemed to be pleading, and when she moved slightly underneath him, her gaze growing wider, he understood that she wanted him to continue.

He couldn’t let it be like this. This wasn’t right. Not here, against his bathroom door. He gripped her and hips and lifted her, sliding himself out slowly. Carrying her, he walked a few steps down the hall and entered his bedroom. She still had her arms around his neck, and she leaned forward slightly, so that her cheek was pressed against his. Feeling the wetness of her tears against his skin, his chest tightened painfully.

Laying her down gently on the bed, he leaned down on one forearm, looming over her. His other hand caressed her face softly, fingers trailing lightly from her forehead down to her jaw. She watched him carefully with her eyes wide as he did this, and then closed her lids softly and leaned her head against his hand.

She was beautiful. He’d never noticed before. Her features were soft, and round, like a china doll, and her skin was like porcelain. Something about the picture didn’t seem quite right, and he slid his hand under her head, finding the pins that held her hair back he pulled them out one by one and loosened her hair so that it fanned out slightly, loose beneath her.

Her lips pouted slightly as he ran his hand lightly down her body and he leaned down to kiss her again, this time with a passion that seemed to consume him. She slid her hands around his waist and up his back, pulling him closer to her. His mouth still locked to hers, his hand found it’s way to her core, she was still wet. At his touch, she writhed under him and ground her pelvis against his fingers.

Carefully, he moved himself between her legs and entered her again, gently. She tensed slightly, then sighed as he sank fully into her. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting for control. The sensation was so strong, he moaned, “Oh God…”

Slowly, he began to move. She tilted her hips up, giving him easier access. After a while, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Somehow, everything moved naturally, smoothly. Her legs urged him to move faster, to go deeper and he did, filling her to the hilt, then leaving her body quickly to do it again…and again…and again. No words came out of her mouth, only moans and sighs and groans. Her eyes remained closed, and she thrashed her head wildly on the pillow beneath him. If he would change his rhythm, or reposition her hips, she would let out a little gasp and arch her back off the bed.

Every new thing she felt, he felt. Each time her lips would form a silent ‘o’ of pleasure, he found himself closer to the edge. She was intoxicating. Her complete abandonment to the moment, her reaction to every thrust, her tiny fingernails digging into the flesh of his neck…

He couldn’t hold out much longer, it was torture. Moving his hand down, he worked his forefinger in circles over her clit until she was unable to contain her cries. The muscles of her inner walls clenched and unclenched repeatedly as he drove into her, milking him, bringing him with her.

When it was over, he lay still on top of her, spent. Moving his hands to her face, he brushed her hair back, smoothing it and she opened her eyes. Her look was soft and tender at first, but then as she searched his face she started to look uncertain. He stared down at her, wanting to speak, but not knowing what to say. Finally, realizing he couldn’t stay inside her forever, he pulled out and rolled over to lay on the bed next to her.

*************************

Part 4C
*************************

Michael turned his head to stare at her naked form lying next to him. Virgin. She was a virgin. No, she had been a virgin. Not anymore. He wanted to ask her why. Why him? Why?

She was staring up at the ceiling, then she reached up behind her head and grabbed one of his pillows, pulling it down to cover her body. Her tiny hand covered her eyes briefly, then slowly began to massage her forehead.

He wanted to ask her to remove the pillow, he wanted to go get his sketchbook and catch her on paper. It seemed that she sensed his eyes on her, because she glanced over at him.

“ Why?” he managed to choke out.

Her voice was soft as she stared at him, “Oh, I’m sorry. Everyone always said it just came naturally, but I know I didn’t do it right.”

What was she talking about? He was confused.

“No…” he shook his head slowly.

She inhaled sharply and sat up, still clutching the pillow to her body. As soon as she was standing, she threw it onto the bed and walked out into the hall. He stood and threw the condom in the trash, then followed her.

“Wait-,” he said as she closed the bathroom door in his face. He leaned on the doorjamb, running his other hand through his hair. When he heard the shower switch on, he went back into his bedroom and pulled a clean pair of boxers and some plaid pajama pants out of his dresser drawer.

There were still no lights on, so he switched on the lamp next to his bed to dress by. That was when he noticed the small bloodstain on his comforter. He walked over and touched it. Warm, still wet. Sitting down hard on the bed next to it, he listened to the sounds of her showering in his bathroom.

Why, why, why? He couldn’t understand it. So, she didn’t have rugrats at home, and there must not be a lazy guy either. Thoughts of the little girl in the park swirled through his head. Maybe she was a neighbor’s daughter. Was this girl a saint? Coming home after her seventh day of work in one week to take someone else’s kid to the playground?

He heard the shower switch off and quickly pulled on the pants, before going out to stand by the bathroom door. She emerged a few minutes later, letting some steam escape with her. The long blonde hair had been pulled back into a simple ponytail at the base of her neck, and the uniform was once again in place.

Michael reached his hand out to touch her, but she darted past him and moved to the stairs. He followed her. When she grabbed her coat from the kitchen, he called out to her.

“Maria!”

She hesitated and turned to look at him, then slowly began walking backwards in the direction of the door, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he said softly, shaking his head. As he walked past the kitchen, he grabbed the order ticket, the twenty, and his wallet off the counter.

Turning, she was at the door in a few more steps. Quickly, he moved to catch her.

“ Wait,” he said as she opened the door.

She half turned, and stood framed in silhouette in the doorway. Her eyes were on the ground as she spoke, “Look, I’m sorry. It was a stupid thing for me to do. I really have to go now.”

He didn’t understand. Had he done something to make her run, or did she just regret the whole thing so much she needed to get away?

“Here, at least…” he reached into his wallet and pulled out a fifty and held it out to her along with the twenty already in his hand.

Tears fell down her cheeks almost immediately when she looked at his hand. She shook her head violently, and her lips twisted into a wry smile, before she whispered sarcastically, “Uh, this one’s on the house.”

Before he could react she had turned and was exiting the building. Shoving his feet into the worn out old sneakers he kept by the door, he grabbed his jacket and his keys from their hook by the door.

***

She could hear his footsteps behind her. Thankfully he didn’t move to catch her, just followed at a distance.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He wasn’t what she wanted, and he certainly wasn’t what she needed. Who was she kidding? It wasn’t as if there was anything real between them, so there was no point in speculating on how well they fit together. No, this was just sex. Just sex.

Sex. She’d spent most of her high school years trying to avoid it, and then she’d spent the summer before her sophomore year at university trying to give Doug Sohn the hint that she was ready. Of course she hadn’t been close to anyone since, and it was just one of those things that fell through the cracks of her life.

So, she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Well, it had to happen sometime. And, so what if she hadn’t been good enough at it for him, he’d never have to be with her again. No point in getting all sentimental about it…

No point in entertaining thoughts that she might be falling in love with the weirdo.

 

 

 

Michael followed her through the rain. Somehow, he knew she was aware of his presence, but she refused to acknowledge him, so he didn’t say anything…just followed, and watched.

When she reached her building, she climbed the steps then paused with her hand on the knob. He stopped on the sidewalk a few feet behind her. She turned her head sideways, and he knew she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye, then she pursed her lips and turned to go inside.

After she was gone, he turned to walk home. Staring down at the pavement passing beneath his feet he began to ponder the night’s events. Why had she run? There had been something there, he’d seen it, he’d felt it…Of course the money thing he understood, he realized what she thought after he did it, but she was running long before that. Why open up and then leave? Why let him touch her? And, why on earth had she let him be her first? What could she have seen in him that would make her want him to be the one…?

***

Maria glanced in the mirror after she put the sweater on. Well, the clothes were a little out dated, but they were just going to have to be good enough. She looked at her watch. It was nearly 10 am. If she was going to be back by noon she needed to hurry.

On her way out of the diner she gave Liz a little wave. It was cold outside, but the sun was peaking through the clouds. She walked to the bus stop sign and silently wished they hadn’t had to sell Kyle’s car over the summer, it would have been so convenient to have it at a time like this - the attorney’s office was all of the way downtown, and the majority of the next two hours would be spent bus hopping.

As she waited, her gaze wandered to his building. He hadn’t been in that morning. Not that he was in every morning, but she seemed to feel his absence acutely on this particular morning. She didn’t know why she wanted to see him. It would probably be awkward as hell. He probably thought she was ridiculous.

It had just been meaningless sex. The key word being ‘meaningless’, she needed to try to remember that. So what if he’d been tender after he realized it was her first time? And, it didn’t really matter that for a few minutes he’d looked at her like she was beautiful. He didn’t care about her, and he’d obviously found the whole experience rather disappointing. Sighing, she flipped the collar of her coat up and wished she could stop thinking about the feeling of his skin next to hers.

She shook her head to clear it, trying to keep her mind on the task at hand, on the money she had to part with in a few more minutes, but succeeding only in bringing up the memory she’d been trying to avoid the most - the few seconds when she’d considered reaching her hand out and taking the money…

***

Michael hopped out of the shower and dressed quickly, not bothering to dry his hair before throwing on his coat and shoes. His living room was littered with supplies that had somehow overflowed from his studio area in the corner. He hadn’t slept. All night, he’d worked, turning out sketch after sketch, then moving to canvas…Time had gotten away from him. He’d intended to eat early, but he’d been so wrapped up in the last piece he’d completely lost track of the hour. It was already after 11, and that was really too late for breakfast.

He walked in the door of the diner and plopped down at the counter, trying not to look for her. The brunette was there, standing by the order window, and she mobilized when he came in. No, that wasn’t right, this wasn’t her section. He glanced around, looking for Maria. Maybe they had started changing sections everyday again.

The brunette stopped in front of him, “Hi, what can I get you?’

He stared at her for a moment, and wondered if maybe the blonde had run into the back when she saw him come in, “Uh, the usual.”

Smiling teasingly, Liz raised her eyebrows, “You know I don’t know what your usual is. Think you could fill me in?”

“Maybe you could ask someone who does know.”

She stared at him for a moment, then she dropped the order pad back into her pocket and leaned down on the counter, “She’s not here.”

That was impossible. He raised his eyebrows, “She’s always here.”

Liz smirked, “She’s not always here and you know it.”

“I know that, but this is her shift. She doesn’t miss shifts.”

The brunette gave him a mischievous smile, “Well, she’s not here.” Then, she stood and walked away.

For a moment, he felt a sort of panic. What if she had quit? Surely not, not over…Well, maybe…He looked around, hoping it was just a joke and that she was really just hiding in the kitchen. The brunette was still smiling slightly and glanced at him as she cleared the plates off a table.

He swallowed hard and turned to look at her. There was only one other customer in the place.

“Four pieces of toast, a quarter cut of cantaloupe, three eggs, four sausages,” he said, trying to act nonchalant.

The brunette walked over and stood next to him, pulling her order pad out and writing, “How do you want your eggs?”

“Sunny side up,” he said with a sigh.

“And anything to drink?”

“Coffee.”

“Comin’ right up,” she smiled slightly.

He ate in silence, as usual, but for once wished he had a distraction. When the door of the diner opened, he looked immediately.

She didn’t look at him as she walked in, but he knew she was aware of his presence. The strange thing was that she wasn’t wearing her uniform, but instead a straight black skirt and a sweater. He watched carefully as she walked into the back and was even more relieved when she came out a few moments later in her uniform. So, she hadn’t quit.

It seemed that she was moving in slow speed as she stepped behind the counter. She came to a stop in front of him, and turned to face him deliberately. Placing her hands on the counter, she stared down at them. He didn’t think she’d actually speak to him, but she did.

“Little late for breakfast isn’t it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he didn’t know what to say to her. He’d never expected her to talk to him. Now he felt caged, defensive. He hadn’t meant to insult her the night before, and he hadn’t wanted her to leave…

The door chime went off again, and he quickly looked in the direction of it, hoping she would have to go and wait on whoever entered.

Max.

Max?

“Michael,” Max said, cocking his head slightly to the side and approaching him.

“Max?”

“In the flesh,” Max said as he sat down next to him, studying his face.

“Do you want me to go tell her you’re here?” Maria asked Max softly.

Michael glanced up at her. She certainly wasn’t looking Max in the eye today.

“Oh, hello again,” Max smiled, “uh, sure.”

She nodded and walked toward the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Michael asked.

“I told you, I’ve got a date. With Liz.”

Michael narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. Max’s look was slightly amused, but slightly defensive, obviously he didn’t want to hear anything about it, so Michael decided to let it go. He had other things to think about.

“Michael,” Max said after a few moments of silence, “aren’t you going to say anything?”

Furrowing his brow, Michael looked at him, “I didn’t think you wanted to talk about it. Date the waitress. I don’t really care.”

Max shook his head slightly as though confused, “No, Michael. I mean about Isabel.”

Isabel. He’d completely forgotten. Well, no he hadn't forgotten, but...

“Uh…” he stammered.

Max was looking at him as though he’d sprouted horns, “Don’t you have a few choice words to say about it?”

Michael tensed, “Well, of course I do. Just no point in saying anything to you.”

“Max!” Liz’s voice sounded from the door to the kitchen. She was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and wearing the biggest grin Michael had ever seen. Maria walked out after her and moved behind the counter.

Smiling, Max walked over to her, “Liz. You look wonderful.”

Liz made an ‘aw shucks’ face, and said, “So do you.”

Michael wanted to puke. This was so wrong, on so many levels.

“Shall we?” Max asked her.

“Oh, of course,” she said, glancing at Maria as Max stepped aside so that she could walk to the door.

As Liz passed him, Michael noticed she was carrying an overnight bag. Max gave him a wave and followed her out the door.

Feeling like it was a little too weird to see Max with another girl, Michael turned back to his coffee shaking his head in disbelief. He saw that she was staring out the window, watching the pair get into Max’s car.

“Why did she have an overnight bag?” as soon as he asked the question, he was shocked. What was he doing, making small talk?

Still staring out the window, she bit her lower lip and raised her eyebrows while she sucked in a long breath, “They’re going to his ‘cabin’ on Orcas Island.”

He smirked, “In November.”

“Apparently.”

“For a first date.”

She shrugged.

Max. What a dope.

***

He was waiting for her when she walked out the door after her shift that night. She was startled and stopped to stare for a moment when he came to stand by her side. The expression on his face was unreadable, and she wasn’t sure what he wanted. Did he think there was going to be a repeat of last night? No, probably not. Maybe he wanted to talk. She wasn’t really ready for that.

To avoid an awkward confrontation, she looked down at her shoes and started walking home. He fell into step beside her. After the first block, she stopped to look up at him. He stopped and looked down at her, studying her. His brown eyes were piercing, and she had the feeling that he was trying to figure something out.

Finally, after a few seconds of staring at one another, she’d started walking again, and he’d walked with her. His hands in the pockets of his jacket, jaw clenched. She glanced up at him occasionally, just the sight of him was starting to make her melt. He looked tough, like the kind of guy who wasn’t touched by anything. The kind of guy who didn’t need anything from anybody.

When they reached her building, he stopped at the bottom of the steps and watched her as she entered. She unlocked the door and pulled it open, but paused before entering. Of course, she should tell him thank you, or something. Looking back at him, she wished she knew what to say, but she didn’t. There was no explanation for his actions, and she didn’t even want to guess. It probably didn’t mean anything. She watched him for a moment, then turned and walked inside.

***

“Yeah?” he said into the phone, using his shoulder to hold it against his ear.

“Michael?”

“Hey, Tess,” he said as he moved the brush to create the curve of a hip on the canvas.

“How’s it going?”

“Fine. You?”

“Oh, I’m all right. You know, adjusting.”

“Yeah,” he replied distractedly as he used his fingers to smudge a shadow on the thigh.

“Um, listen, did you happen to get an invitation in the mail?”

He glanced out into the living room at the collection of ivory colored cards and envelops spread out on his coffee table, “Yeah, I got one.”

“I didn’t know they were planning to do it this soon.”

“Well, they’re on a time crunch,” he snorted as he closely examined the line of the calf where it met a delicate ankle.

“A time crunch?”

“Yeah, a shotgun created time crunch.”

“Oh my God. Are you serious?” her voice was incredulous.

“As a heart attack.”

“Who told you?”

“She did, last Thursday.”

“Oh. Well, are you gonna’ go?”

“Not if I can help it. Are you?”

“No. I talked to Max a couple of days ago, though. We’re on good terms, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“Well, that’s understandable. Not everybody moves on five minutes later,” he said sarcastically.

“I know he’s dating someone, Michael. He told me.”

“And you’re ok with that?” he asked, wondering how she possibly could be. It hadn’t even been a month.

“I had a date last night, actually,” she said sounding amused.

He let the hand holding the brush drop to his side and brought the other up to grasp the phone, “How? Don’t you need more time?”

She sighed, “Well, I probably should take more time, but I don’t really feel like I need to. I think things were over between us for a long time.”

“So, why did he propose?”

“He told you? Well, I think it was because there just wasn’t anything else left to do.”

“That’s insane.”

“I know. That’s what it took for me to finally realize, though. We probably should never have been more than friends. Now that I look back on it, I don’t think we were ever really passionate about each other, it just felt comfortable and easy. We loved each other, just not in the right way.”

“Yeah, well, love is b*llsh*t,” he said, picking up the smaller brush and dipping it into the green paint.

“Michael, that’s ridiculous. I don’t know how you can say that you don’t believe in love.”

“I don’t. It doesn’t exist. Everything is hormones. Lust, you know...” he let his voice trail off as put his final touches on the eyes.

She laughed, “You just keep telling yourself that. It’ll get you someday.”

“I’d like to see it try,” he said with a smile.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon. I think I’ll send in my RSVP and say I’ll be visiting relatives out of town for Christmas.”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll do that too.”

“Michael, you always spend Christmas with their family.”

“Oh yeah. That won’t work then. Have to think of something else.”

She giggled, “Ok, well, good luck with your search for an excuse.”

“Thanks. Bye.”

“Bye.”

He tossed the phone onto his worktable and stood back to look at the piece on the wall. The hair wasn’t quite the right tone, but he was happy with the rest of it. When the hair color was right, this would make the fourth this week, and it was only Wednesday.

***

Maria watched Liz and Max as sat facing each other in the booth, wrapped up in a heated conversation. They looked so intently at one another, as if there were no one else in the world. She knew she should go over and warm up their coffee cups, but didn’t want to interrupt, so instead she watched from behind the counter.

The chime sounded as the door opened, and she straightened up when she saw him come in. Her stomach flip-flopped slightly, as it was now in the habit of doing, and she felt goose bumps break out on her arms. It was five minutes ‘til her shift was over, and she’d been expecting him.

He looked over at the booth, and nodded at Liz and Max. Max motioned for him to come over, but he shook his head as he moved to the counter. His friend just shrugged and turned back to the brunette in front of him.

She put a coffee cup down in front of him and filled it. He watched her as she replaced the pot and quickly wiped off the counter. The clock read two minutes to nine, so she went into the backroom to get her coat, then stopped off briefly in the bathroom to glance at herself in the mirror. How good did she expect to look after working all day? Smoothing her hair quickly, she walked out into the dining room and waved at Max and Liz. They both looked up for a minute to wave goodbye, then continued their conversation.

Michael met her at the door and they walked outside. It was cold, and the wind forced the light rain to sting her cheeks. He looked up at the sky then down at her.

“We could take my car.”

She was surprised to hear him speak. They hadn’t spoken to each other for…well, she couldn’t really remember when they spoke last. Last Friday? It was Wednesday now. He was walking in the direction of his vehicle, not really waiting for her answer, so she simply followed him. If it weren’t for the stinging rain she’d tell him to forget it, but it would be nice not to have to spend five minutes out in the freezing cold…

Maria opened the passenger door and climbed in. He turned the heater on high, and it blew cold for a few seconds, then started to warm up as he pulled away from the curb. She reached her fingers out and placed them in front of one of the vents, flexing them to help keep them warm.

When he pulled to a stop in front of her building, she clutched her purse and turned to open the door, but suddenly she heard the automatic locks click. She tried the handle, and as she suspected it didn’t open. Turning to face him, she opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.

“I didn’t mean it like that, you know,” he said, both hands on the wheel, staring straight out in front of him.

She stared at him. Huh?

“You were running, and I didn’t know…well, I was just trying…you know, to be…” he lifted his hands off the wheel and turned his palms upward in a gesture of helplessness as he turned to look at her.

Looking at him for a second, she took a deep breath, then turned to study the electronic controls on her door panel. She pushed the one with a picture of an open padlock next to it and then pulled on the door handle, and as she stepped onto the sidewalk, she turned back to him, “Thanks for the ride.”

Without a backward glance, she shut the car door and climbed the steps of her building, jamming her key in the lock and opening the door. The one thing she did not want to discuss with him was the ‘payment for services rendered’ moment.

“I’m home,” she said as she opened the apartment door.

“Aunt Maria!” Abby’s voice called from down the hall. “Daddy won’t let me have another bed time story.”

Maria walked down the hall and stood in Abby’s doorway. Kyle was propped up on his crutches at the foot of his daughter’s bed, and his voice sounded weary, “You have to go to sleep.”

“Do I have to Auntie Maria?” she whined, her big eyes hoping for some sort of over-rule.

“Yep. If your Dad says so,” Maria smiled and went to place a kiss on the little girl’s forehead.

“Night-night, kiddo,” Kyle said as he hobbled out the door.

Following him into the hall, Maria switched off the light and blew Abby a kiss.

“Tough night?” she asked.

“Yeah…” he said distractedly as he lowered himself into the seat in front of his computer.

“You leaving her with Serena tomorrow, or are you taking her with you?”

“Oh, I’m taking her with me. She likes to go to the daycare at least once a week. They’ve got that playground, you know…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s all she ever talks about,” Maria laughed. The physical therapy clinic was in a large medical building, and offered free childcare during patient’s appointments.

Kyle pointed to a stack of magazines on the floor by the sofa, “Mrs. Sonenstein brought you her old magazines.”

“Oooh, good,” Maria smiled. She’d always been an avid magazine reader. Of course, Mrs. Sonenstein read only one thing that she was really interested in. “I think I’m gonna’ take a long bath and curl up with the last two months worth of People.”

Kyle laughed out loud, and she smiled at him. It was good to hear. She quickly sorted through the stack for the magazines she wanted and stopped off in her bedroom for some clothes before locking herself in the bathroom. The tub filled quickly, and she gratefully lowered herself into the water with a sigh. Only rarely did she take a bath anymore, there just wasn’t time.

Flipping through one of the issues, she noticed a familiar face staring back from one of the pages. She was so stunned that she accidentally let the magazine fall into the water. Quickly retrieving it, she stared at the page.

‘Prominent Seattle artist, Michael Guerin, backstage at a recent benefit concert.’

Artist. She’d seen the studio in the corner, it was obvious what he did, but somehow she’d never put together that he must be good (and famous) to be earning that kind of money. Standing up quickly, she had to brace herself against the tile wall to keep from falling. Quickly, she dried and dressed. The magazine was still resting on the edge of the tub, and she grabbed it and threw it into the wastebasket next to the toilet.

***

Michael flopped down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. So, it hadn’t gone well. He shouldn’t have tried to apologize. No matter how hard he tried, he never could guess how she would react to something. She’d run again, but thanked him sincerely for the ride, so apparently she wasn’t angry.

He rubbed his eyebrow and tried not to think about it. The phone rang, and he ran downstairs to grab it, expecting it to be Tess again.

“Yeah?” he said into the receiver.

“Michael, it’s me.”

He really needed to get that caller ID thing.

“Isabel.”

“I just wanted to make sure you got your invitation.”

“Uh, yeah, I got it,” he said trying to keep his voice even. Her voice always seemed to put him on edge, even if he did feel a little guilty about the way he’d treated her...

“Oh good. Well, I know you’ll never remember to send your RSVP card, so I’ll just mark you down on the definite list.”

“Iz…” he was getting angry.

“Michael, I don’t want to hear it. You have to be there, it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“You just want me there so that you can convince yourself that your past is resolved and you’re blameless, so you can move on with a clear conscience.”

“Yes,” she said softly, “that is exactly why I want you there. Will you come?”

Well, that was a new tactic. She’d never admitted to anything like that before. He was taken off guard.

“Yeah, I guess…”

He could hear the smile in her voice, “Thank you. I’m so happy. Will it just be you, or should I mark ‘and guest’?”

Damn. A date? He didn’t want to have to go with some mindless bimbo. Then again, he couldn’t very well go alone…

“I’ll be ‘and guest’,” he said as coolly as possible.

“Ok,” she said, “so if I don’t see you before…”

“Yeah, bye.”

He clicked off the phone and mentally kicked himself for not finding a way out of it.

 

 

 

“Goodnight, Liz.”

“Oh - bye, Maria.”

She walked outside into the cold and suddenly he was at her side. No matter how hard she tried to ignore him, he hadn’t gotten the hint. It had been nearly a month since she’d found out the truth about him. She’d wanted to tell him off, but was afraid he’d just laugh at her…

They walked the three blocks to her building in silence, and then she walked inside without a backward glance. Taking the stairs up to the apartment two at a time, she entertained thoughts of climbing into her nice warm bed – one week ‘til Christmas, and it was cold as hell. Opening the door with freezing hands, she was surprised to hear a woman’s voice.

“ Kyle, I never-.”

Kyle’s laughter boomed from the kitchen, “You did too! I remember it as if it were yesterday. You kissed Pam Troy. First you two passed a hat and made everyone put five bucks in-.”

The woman giggled, “Oh, that time. Well, that was just a…fund raiser…”

Maria walked into the kitchen to see Kyle sitting at the kitchen table across from a bouncy blonde. There were papers spread out over the surface of the table.

“Uh, Kyle?” she asked hesitantly.

“Oh! Maria! I’m so glad you’re here,” her brother gave her the biggest smile she’d seen in months. “This is Tess. Tess Harding. We were in school together.”

“Nice to meet you,” the blonde smiled. “Your brother has told me so much about you.”

“Oh,” Maria said with a polite smile thinking, ‘He’s never mentioned you…’

“Well,” Tess got to her feet, “I should get going. Look at the time. I’ll be in touch Monday morning then, Kyle?”

“Absolutely,” Kyle gave her a big grin. “Thank you again for coming all of the way out here to tell me in person, it means a lot.”

Tess smiled and scrunched up her nose, “Oh, please, the minute I saw your name I started squealing. Everyone in the office thought I was crazy! I always knew you would do something like this someday, we all were so much in awe of you.”

Kyle laughed and shook his head as he started to get to his feet, but Tess held her hand out, “No. Don’t. I can find my own way out. Nice to have met you, Maria,” she called over her shoulder as she swept out of the kitchen.

“You too,” Maria called, just before she heard the front door open and close.

Raising his eyebrows mischievously, Kyle gave her a wink.

“Wanna’ tell me what that was all about?” she asked, jerking her thumb in the direction of the recently departed Tess.

“ That was about the beginning of the Valenti family’s return to normalcy.”

“Ok…” Maria eyed him suspiciously.

“Maria,” Kyle laughed, “I’ve been working on something for a while now…I sort of wrote a book.”

“A book?”

“Yeah.”

“W-what?”

“I didn’t really have anything else to do, so I started it…anyway, I sent it out to a couple of houses, not really thinking anything would come of it…and, well, one wants to publish it.”

“A book.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I just wish I’d heard back in time for you to enroll for the next quarter at school.”

“A book.”

“Yes, Maria. A book.”

She sat down across from him feeling a little dazed, “I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it. Did all right for my first one, got fifteen grand up front, but that’s not even the best part. Tess, she works there, and after they decided they wanted to buy it, she saw it and saw that it was me…well, she said she wants me to do some part time editing, nothing very major. I’m not fully qualified, but she’s pretty sure she can pull some strings, she and I were pretty tight in school, and she thinks I can handle it-.”

“Are you saying that- that…I can go back to school?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Quit the diner tomorrow if you want, Tess feels confident she can get me the job, and it pays enough…Why are you crying?”

“I-I…I don’t know,” she sniffed, looking down at her hands. “No, I shouldn’t quit, but if you’re sure, I could quit working the second shift-.”

“Well, that goes without question. But, why don’t you just quit? We can get by with what I’ll make and with the upfront money. More than enough to get us through ‘til I’m done with therapy. You could take a few months off, enjoy life. Oh, or maybe see about that internship you were going to do at that agency.”

Maria gave him a weak smile and stood slowly. He looked like himself again. She’d almost forgotten that look he had. The ‘self assured’ air that had always defined him had been missing since the accident, but now it was back. Somehow it made her feel uneasy, and lost.

“I think I’ll go take a shower,” she said softly, feeling lightheaded. She started to walk out of the room and then stopped herself and turned back to hug him, whispering, “Kyle, congratulations, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, kid,” he said squeezing her tight. He hadn’t called her ‘kid’ for…well, she didn’t know how long.

“Can I read it?” she asked, as she moved toward the hall.

“Of course!” he called.

She got some clothes and then locked herself in the bathroom, letting the tears fall freely.

***

Michael walked back toward the diner, wishing he’d put on his heavy coat. She had pretended that he wasn’t even there, just like she’d been doing for the last month. In fact she hadn’t spoken a word to him since the night he’d driven her home. Not mad, mad, not mad, mad for eternity…he didn’t care, she shouldn’t be walking home alone, if she hated him or not.

He opened the door and walked inside, plopping down at the counter next to a familiar face.

“Max?”

“Oh, hey, Michael.”

They exchanged brief glances, and Michael signaled Liz to come over.

“Coffee, Michael?”

“Yeah, please,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

After she’d given him the cup, she went back to the kitchen.

Max turned to look at him, “So, Iz is pretty excited that you haven’t backed out yet.”

Michael cringed, “Oh, yeah.”

“Who are you bringing?”

“Bringing?”

“Yeah, she said you were bringing a guest.”

“Oh sh*t, I forgot,” Michael rubbed his eyebrow in irritation.

“You forgot? You forgot who it was?”

Sighing, Michael looked at his friend, “Well, I can’t go alone.”

“Yeah,” Max looked at him curiously, “I understand that. So who are you bringing?”

Michael cringed again and looked at him with a shrug.

“You don’t have a date,” Max said with an amused look.

“Like I said, I forgot.”

“I could hook you up with someone,” Liz said as she walked over to stand in front of them.

Michael looked at her, “ I don’t need a ‘hook-up’.”

“Think a lot of girls are going to be free on Christmas Day?” Liz said with a smile.

He hadn’t really considered that.

“Anyone I know?” Max asked her.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, Max. You remember my friend Kyle’s sister don’t you?” Liz asked him raising her eyebrows expectantly.

Max’s brow furrowed, “Kyle’s sister? Who’s Kyle?”

“Oh, you remember Kyle. We were at his apartment last week. You know, Kyle and his daughter Abby…” Liz sounded as if she were trying to coax the memory from his brain.

Some light went on in Max’s head, because he suddenly grinned, “Ohhh. Kyle’s sister.”

Michael looked from one to the other. Liz was nodding with a stupid grin on her face, and Max was staring at her with the usual ‘you’re wonderful’ look.

“So, do you want me to set it up, Michael?” Liz smiled in his direction.

Not really.

She did have a point about the Christmas issue, though. That, and the fact that he didn’t exactly keep a black book, so he’d have to go scrounge something up somewhere. He looked to Max, hoping for an honest opinion, “Is she my type?”

“Michael, I think sparks will fly,” Max said with a sincere head nod.

They had an old code for this sort of thing. So, she was definitely hot.

“Won’t embarrass me, right?” he asked Max again.

“No. She’s smart and funny. You’ll be surprised,” Max said confidently.

“You’re not gonna’ tell anyone she’s just some chick I don’t know, right?”

“No,” Max said.

“Not a chance,” Liz chimed in. “I’m sure it will seem like you two have known each other forever.”

“Maxwell, I’m trusting you here. This isn’t exactly an event I want to be a laughing stock at…”

“Michael. You can trust me. This girl is perfect.”

“All right,” he said. If she turned out to be a dud he could always lose her before he actually got there. Probably better to go alone than with some dimwit.

***

“ Maria? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, Liz…” Maria picked at a piece of lint on the cardigan sweater she was wearing over her uniform.

Suddenly Liz’s arms were around her neck, “This is the best news! You must be so excited, you can go back to school.”

Smiling, Maria pulled back, “Oh, yeah, of course I’m excited about that.”

“You don’t seem overly excited,” Liz said, looking at her sideways. “I mean, It’s been a long time, and you’ve been working so hard-.”

“Oh, no-no. I’m excited really,” Maria said, trying to make her smile bigger.

“Then, what’s the matter?”

“I…I’m not sure. It’s stupid, really…” sighing, Maria rolled her eyes, trying to avoid the gaze of her concerned friend.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that, I got home last night, and everything was normal, and then…Well, I don’t know, the whole world got turned upside down, and Kyle was happy – which is great, it really is – but, I just don’t know where I fit anymore…”

Liz put a hand on her arm, “You don’t think they need you anymore?”

Maria tried to bite back the tears and shrugged, “It’s-uh, it’s so stupid, you know…because I’m happy for him, I really am. This is like the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened, because he hated construction, and this is so much closer to what he really wanted to do…And, it will be good for Abby...It’s just so out of the blue. I knew he was obsessed with his computer, but I had no idea why…”

Liz moved her to sit on the break room couch and sat down next to her, half hugging her as she let the tears fall.

“Liz, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just haven’t really had time to think about my life, and now I’m being forced to, and…I’m going back to school. I am going back to school, but I’ve missed so much time, and I’m not even sure if advertising is what I really wanted to do. You know, it’s just like, I don’t know…I don’t have a life. My whole life is ruined, and I haven’t really had to face it, but now that I do…And, here this wonderful, unbelievable thing is happening for my brother who has lived through hell, and I’m…I’m…” Maria held her hands up in exasperation.

“Shh…Maria. It’s ok. I can understand how this would be a little scary, but your life isn’t ruined. And, I think it’s fine for you to feel this way, you don’t have to apologize for it.”

“But, it’s so stupid,” Maria choked on a sob, “I sh-should be so thrilled, but instead I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do…I don’t know who I am anymore. Everything is changing…”

Liz squeezed her shoulders again.

Maria took quick swipes at her tears and took a deep breath, then jumped to her feet, “You know what? I’m not going to do this. This is too stupid for words. I’ve had real problems in my life, I’m not going to sit here and waste tears over one that I made up.”

Watching her closely, Liz stood up as well, “Well, I don’t think you should just ignore your feelings, I me-.”

“No, Liz. No. This was just me venting the frustration of the last few…years. Anyway, this is a beginning,” Maria said, plastering on the biggest grin she could muster. “I told Murray this morning, and he’s already got a sign in the window, and he’ll have an ad in Sunday’s paper.”

With a suspicious look, Liz moved to stand by her, “Maria, it’s great that you’re being positive, just make sure you’re honest with yourself about how you’re feeling.”

Somehow managing to keep the smile on her face, Maria nodded and sniffed, “Oh, I am. I’m happy.”

Liz nodded slowly, looking unconvinced, “Well, I did have something I wanted to ask you about. It might be a distraction for you…”

“What is it?” Maria asked, trying to sound cheerful as she blew her nose.

“Well, remember that I told you Max’s sister, Isabel, is getting married next weekend?”

Maria snorted, “The wedding on Christmas Day? You’ve only been talking about it for the last two weeks.”

“Yeah, I know,” Liz smiled. “Um, anyway, her ex-boyfriend is going, but he doesn’t have a date-.”

“How do you know her ex-boyfriend?”

“He’s a friend of Max’s. Anyway, he forgot to get himself a date, and it’s Christmas and most people are busy…”

“I think I see where you’re going here,” Maria started shaking her head, “and the answer is-.”

“Maria, I think you’d really like him. He’s interesting.”

“No. No way. Can’t get his own date, and the only compliment you can give him is that he’s ‘interesting’? No, nope.”

“Come on, you never go out. This will be something to keep your mind on for the next few days-.”

“No. No, thank you. It’s bad enough that Kyle and Abby will be at Vikki’s parents for Christmas…How pathetic is someone who needs a blind date on Christmas Day?”

“He’s not pathetic, Maria, actually he’s-.”

“I was talking about me, Liz. But, I’m sure he must be pathetic too-.”

“Maria, please? I’m appealing to you as my friend, don’t make me go alone. I won’t know anyone but Max and his parents and his sister- well, and her fiancé, who I think you’ll love by the way - but they’ll all be busy.”

“I wouldn’t have anything to wear. This is some big ‘society’ event, right? Not really my forte. It’s not like I’ve got a Dior hanging in my closet.”

“Well, I’ll be there, and I’m not from that world either. And, I have the perfect dress for you to wear…”

“Liz, I haven’t been on a date for…ages,” she closed her eyes and tried to block out the image of his face. That did not qualify as a date.

“All of the more reason to go. Come on, Maria…”

“You owe me one.”

Liz gave her a quick hug, “Thank you! You won’t regret it. This guy is so-.”

“No. Spare me. Don’t try to sell me on him. I’m doing this because you want me there, not because I’m interested in anything happening with the guy.”

A sly smile spread across Liz’s lips, and she nodded ever so slightly while looking at Maria.

Ignoring her, Maria walked out into the dining room. Liz didn’t know. (Well, no one knew.) There was about a ‘zero’ percent chance that she’d be remotely interested in this guy.

She got him a fresh glass of soda on her way to stand in front of him. He looked up at her with the usual ‘intense’ look. If only he wouldn’t do that. It made her think…things… remember things… For the first time, she wondered if he would still walk her home when she started leaving at 4 instead of 9. No, there wouldn’t be a reason anymore. Not that she’d ever been sure what his reason was to begin with.

***

She looked like she’d been crying.

He picked up the fresh glass she’d set in front of him and stared up at her. The ‘half angry’ look was on her face, he was used to it by now.

After staring at him for a moment, she walked away and he took a few sips of the soda before pulling the money out of his pocket and placing it on the counter. Exact change. She didn’t take his tips.

He had been about to leave, but paused for a moment. Liz kept casting amused glances his way, and he finally decided to ignore her. Glancing one last time at her, he rose and left, walking to his car. Tess had told him to meet her at 6-sharp.

***

Maria cleaned up after him. Almost relieved he was gone. Almost.

Famous Mr. Guerin…

***

“Hey you!” Tess said punching him on the arm.

“Uh, hey.”

“Ready?”

“I guess.”

“So, what are we thinking? Sophisticated, ‘go ahead and marry another guy, see if I care’, or wilder ‘hey, I’m still partying and your getting married’?”

“Tess, this may come as a shock, but I’m not a girl. I just want to make sure it’s formal enough or whatever.”

She giggled and led him into the department store. He hadn’t been in it since the last time Isabel had dragged him in. The sight of the sales clerk turning her nose up at his jeans and sweater pissed him off.

Tess was in her element, however – she’d spent years dressing Max, and immediately had the girl showing them the latest in men’s suits. She slapped his hand when she caught him checking the price tag on one. After she found a few she liked, she sent him to the dressing room, and stood outside his room chatting.

“…I think there might be a little something there. I mean, he’s divorced, but he’s such a great guy. When we were in school I always sort of wished…well, you know…” her voice babbled through the door.

“Not really,” he muttered to himself as he pulled on the sixth suit of the night. Opening the door, he stood waiting as she inspected him.

“I like it. You should wear it with a different colored shirt though, maybe taupe,” she said, with her hand on her chin.

Obediently, he shrugged out of the jacket and started to unbutton the shirt he was wearing. Tess called the sales girl over and then turned back to him, “Uh, you don’t have to try the shirt on, I can just hold it up to the suit, but if you really want to put on a strip tease…”

He slammed the door of the dressing room closed, “I never should have listened to you.”

“You need a new suit, and let’s face it, you’d be lost shopping on your own,” there was laughter in her voice.

“I don’t need to impress anyone.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t want to walk in looking loser-ish either. And, what about your date? Don’t you want to impress her?”

“No.”

He pulled the next suit from it’s hangers and started to dress again.

“Ok, who is she anyway?”

“I don’t know, some friend of Liz’s – I haven’t met her.”

“Whoa, a blind date? Who’s Liz?”

Oops. “Oh, she works at the diner across the street from my place.”

“Is she the waitress Max is seeing?”

“Yeah…” this friendship thing she and Max had going was bizarre. Who discussed their new girlfriend with their ex?

“Do you like her?”

“She’s not that bad.”

“Is she pretty?” Tess’s voice lost a little bit of pep.

“I guess. Not really my type.”

“Oh, Michael…you and your non-existent ‘type’.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Michael. Ever since Isabel, no one is your type.”

He opened the door to show her the latest suit, “I do have a type.”

“So, how many of your ‘types’ have you met in the last two years, huh?” she asked crossing her arms.

“I don’t know…” he turned in a circle as she made a twirling motion with her index finger.

“Don’t like it, try the next one,” she said pushing him back into the room and closing the door. “Actually, this is probably the first real date you’ve been on since.”

“Hey, I’ve had plenty of dates.”

“Really? When I say date, I mean you meet a girl somewhere and find her interesting, you ask her to meet you at a later time, then you meet at the later time and do some sort of activity.”

“Yeah, I do that - all the time,” he wished she could see his glare through the door as he crumpled the suit up and threw it in the corner.

“Michael, I do not mean ‘you meet a girl, she throws herself at you, then you meet you at your place twenty minutes later’. And, sex does not qualify as ‘some sort of activity’. ”

“Why?”

She started laughing and he put on the final suit and opened the door, she stepped up and pinched his cheek, “What am I gonna’ do with you?”

“I don’t know, but you need to hurry, I have to be home by 9.”
 

 

 

Maria unplugged the lights on the Christmas tree and finished stuffing the left over wrapping into the trash bag.

Christmas. Watching Abby that morning, she hadn’t been able to help remembering her own childhood. The torture of their parents making them take turns opening each gift so that a picture could be taken of every ‘opening reaction’, pulling their stockings down from the mantle and dumping the contents onto the floor to sort through what they’d received, then not being able to decide what to play with first. Of course, after the presents there was always a big Christmas breakfast, and then later an even bigger Christmas dinner…

Kyle and Abby were gone. Vickie’s parents had picked them up right after they’d finished opening presents. She understood that Kyle felt it was important that Abby stay close to the other side of her family, even if her mother wasn’t around…she just hated being away from them on this of all days. Still, she shouldn’t complain. This Christmas beat last year by a mile. Maria wished she could banish the memory of hauling Abby and her scant number of presents up to Kyle’s hospital room so that he could see her open them…that had been dismal and heartbreaking.

The phone rang after she got out of the shower and she glanced at the clock, it was a little after noon.

“Hello?”

“Maria!”

“Liz! Merry Christmas,” Maria couldn’t help but smile.

“Merry Christmas! Was Abby excited about the doll?”

“Yeah, she loved it. She took it with her,” Maria smiled, Liz had gone Christmas shopping with her the previous Sunday. She’d actually gone a little overboard – with Kyle’s encouragement.

“Oh, I’m so glad. We’re just about to eat, so I’ve only got a second…Now, don’t get mad…”

“Don’t get mad?”

“Max called me last night, and he’d like me to be at the wedding early for pictures.”

“Really? Wow, isn’t it a little soon for that? I mean…”

“Oh, no, he just wants me to be there. He doesn’t want me to be in them,” Liz giggled nervously.

“Ok. Well, that makes a little more sense then. So, we’ll be leaving earlier, then?”

“Um, that’s the thing…I’m leaving right after I eat.”

“Oh, no…I just got out of the shower, I won’t be ready for-.”

“No, it’s ok, Maria. I didn’t mean for you to come with me. I’m just going to have your date meet you in front of the diner.”

“In front of the diner?”

“Yeah…So, be there at 5. Talk to you later!”

“No! Wait, Liz – how will I even know who he is?”

“Well, I’m sure he’s the only person you’ll see who’s dressed to go to a wedding. My dad’s carving the turkey – gotta’ go!”

“No! Liz-,” Maria hung up the phone when she heard the click. She didn’t even know this guys name, or what he looked like…Of course that was because she wouldn’t let Liz tell her. This was irritating, though. Not only did she have to go alone, she had to meet the guy in front of the diner? That made no sense. Couldn’t he just pick her up? She walked back into the bathroom to finish drying her hair.

***

“Yeah?”

“Michael?”

“Do you expect someone else to answer my phone, Max?”

“Ok, listen, Liz can’t give her friend a ride. She’s going to meet you at your place.”

“Liz is?”

“No, the friend is.”

“Ok…” Michael furrowed his brow and turned his attention back to the game on the television, then started listening closely again when he heard Max’s muffled whispering on the other end of the phone. “Who are you talking to, Maxwell?”

“Oh, uh, Liz – talking to Liz. I guess she’s meeting you in front of the diner. At five o’clock. On the dot.”

“That makes no sense. Why not have her come over here?”

“Uh, Liz says she only knows where the diner is.”

“Is she too stupid to find her way across the street?”

“Well, I think Liz forgot that you live across the street.”

“Forgot? She delivers food over here all of the time-.”

“Hey – sorry, Michael, gotta’ go. They’re starting to take pictures. Bye!”

Michael clicked off the phone and tossed it down on the couch next to him. When the game went on commercial he ran upstairs to shower. His watch read 4:15.

***

Carefully, Maria rubbed the gloss over the lipstick and then smacked her lips into the mirror. Yes, that looked good. She gave her hair a few more pats, then stuffed her make-up essentials into the tiny evening bag she was using. The long dress Liz had loaned her was a little simple for her taste, but it was nice. It was a very deep red, almost black, it wasn’t a color that she normally wore, and she felt a little out of place in it, but it hung nicely from tiny spaghetti straps and was form fitting so at least it didn’t look ‘borrowed’. Her hair was down, worn in very loose curls around her face. Taking one last glance in the mirror, she sighed, then walked quickly to the door.

Her mother’s long black wool dress coat was the only thing she had that was remotely appropriate for the occasion. She was glad she’d kept it. Pulling the collar up slightly, she caught a faint whisper of her mother’s smell in the fabric. Tears sprang instantly to her eyes, and she buried her nose into the black wool but never caught the scent again. Maybe it had been her imagination. She’d been rather nostalgic all day.

The air was cold, and the walk to the diner felt longer than usual. Probably because she was wearing heels, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn anything other than sneakers or sandals. Her feet were beginning to ache by the time she got to the diner. It was dark inside, Murray always closed for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Turning, she inspected her reflection in the glass, it was almost dark, but she could still see well enough.

As she was tucking one last strand of hair behind her ear, she caught his reflection and watched him walk out of his building. She was almost sure he’d been wearing a suit, but her back was to him, and she was afraid it would be too obvious if she turned around to make sure.

As he walked to his car and put what looked like a long coat in the back seat, she prayed he wouldn’t notice her. She’d never seen him dressed up before. Must be for Christmas. Or, maybe…

Was he going to the wedding too? Well, he was a friend of Max’s, it would make sense…A wave of dread washed over her. Now he’d know she was out on a blind date. What if he said something to the guy she was with? Oh no…

She was so lost in her own thoughts, and didn’t notice his reflection in the glass as he crossed the street, walking toward her.

The sound of him clearing his throat made her jump, and she whirled around to face him. His eyes grew wide, and then narrowed. He was wearing a black suit with a dark gray colored shirt and a solid tie in an even darker shade of gray, his usually mussed hair was slicked back - though not severely, it was still very ‘him’. Michael looked like he’d just walked off the cover of a magazine.

She gulped and tried to remember her name.

***

He saw the woman peering into the diner the minute he walked out of his door. She was wearing a long dress coat, and he knew it had to be her. It made sense that she was a blonde, Max knew that was normally his preference. This ‘blind date’ was not something he was looking forward to. Earlier he’d decided that he’d give the girl two minutes to impress him, and if she didn’t, he’d just take her home and say he had a headache. There was no way he was going to let her embarrass him if she was ditzy, or a chatterbox, or stupid. Maybe he should just walk over and tell her he had a headache right away…

Walking to his car, he kept a close eye on her, watching for anything odd. He opened the back door and laid his coat out across the seats, then closed it and started walking toward her. Her back was completely turned to him, and he had no hint of what she looked like. Well, he could be reasonably sure that she was a looker – Max wasn’t stupid.

Stopping behind her, he cleared his throat. She jumped slightly and turned to face him.

He couldn’t believe it. It was her. So, this was their little game. She seemed nervous. Had she set this whole thing up?

“It’s you,” he stated.

She stared at him, looking confused, then looked slightly irritated, “Yeah…”

“Well, don’t just stand there,” he turned to leave, expecting her to follow him.

“Excuse me?” her voice sounded from behind him.

He turned back to face her, “What?”

She was shaking her head in small jerking notions, and a look of disbelief seemed to have passed over her face, “Oh no. Y-your’re not…No, no, no. It isn’t you, is it?”

So, she was in the dark too. He nodded, “Yeah, it’s me. They think they’re cute. Come on, let’s get going.”

He started to walk again.

“Wait. I don’t-,” she paused when he turned sharply to face her again. “We don’t have to do this, I mean obviously,” she blushed and looked at the ground, “well, they don’t know…I-I’m just going to go home.”

She started to walk past him, and he quickly put himself in her path, “You’re not going home.”

Her eyes narrowed, “I think I’ll decide if I’m going home or not.”

As she started to move again, he grabbed her arm and looked down at her, then softly said, “ Don’t.”

He watched carefully as her eyes closed, her lids drifting down over the flashing green, lashes resting lightly on her cheeks. When she opened them again, he saw her give in.

“All right.”

Relief. He quickly turned and walked to the car, hearing her following close behind. So much for the headache idea.

***

She climbed awkwardly into his SUV, trying not to look at him. It had never occurred to her that it would be him. Why would it? She glanced over at him, then immediately looked away remembering her resolve not to look. Looking was dangerous. He looked too good for looking.

“Put on your seatbelt,” he ordered her.

Startled, she looked over at him. He was looking at her. Reaching her hand up behind her she grabbed the seatbelt and pulled it across her body and shoved it into the buckle. Oh, this was a bad idea. She definitely should have gone home. Her anger was starting to bubble over.

“Listen, Mr. ‘I’m famous, obey me’, I’m the one doing the favor here, so-.”

“Who said I was famous?”

“I-I guess I did,” she stammered, not really knowing how to answer.

“I’m not famous.”

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes, wishing he hadn’t already pulled away from the curb.

“ What did I do to you?” he scrunched his face up in anger as he stared straight ahead.

She looked over at him… hmm, let’s see…

“Can’t even remember when he goes slumming,” she whispered sharply under her breath while she looked out the window.

“ Slumming?” he pulled the car over to the side of the street and turned to glare at her.

“Yeah. I mean, that’s what you rich types call it, right?”

“ You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said dangerously.

“Don’t I? So, I guess you don’t go around pretending to be a normal person and making people think-,” she stopped herself and tried hard to find something outside her window to concentrate on.

“Pretending to be normal? I am normal. And, I don’t know what you expect me to do-.”

“Maybe give somebody a hint about who you are-.”

“What do you want me to do, wear a sign?!?!”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, wishing he hadn’t made her feel completely stupid. Did she expect him to wear a sign? It wasn’t like she walked up to people and announced that she was a waitress…

“Is that why you’ve been acting like this? Did someone say something about me?” his voice was considerably calmer, and she glanced at him and saw that he was tensely gripping the steering wheel.

“No. I saw an article…there was a concert…” she wished she could keep her mouth shut. Everything she said was making her sound so stupid.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he pulled back out into traffic, “So, you were mad because I was in a magazine.”

How was he able to make it seem so dumb? It wasn’t dumb. He’d used her. Well, maybe she’d gone there that night looking for something…and, maybe she had wanted it as much as he did…but he didn’t have a right to withhold information - information that would have stopped heer from-…from what? Sleeping with him? Falling for him? She didn’t want to think about it.

Glancing at him, she was surprised to see an amused smirk on his face. So, he was laughing at her. Wonderful. She wasn’t going to spend the rest of the night under his thumb.

“So, your ex is getting married, huh?”

There – that had wiped that stupid look off his face. His jaw was clenched and a muscle in his cheek twitched. She’d gotten to him. When he didn’t answer after a few seconds, she opened her mouth again, “Maybe you didn’t hear me. I asked you a question-.”

“I heard you.”

“Oh?”

“Well, obviously she’s getting married. That’s where we’re going, isn’t it?” there was more bitterness than anger in his tone. If he was that upset by it, why was he going?

His fingers were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white, and his shoulders had hunched forward slightly. She was sorry she’d ever said anything, even if he did deserve it.

***

He didn’t understand her. She was impossible to read. Just when he thought he was sure what was going on in her head, she blindsided him.

They rode the last forty-five minutes of the drive in silence. Pulling to an abrupt stop in front of the hotel, Michael hopped out of his side and handed the keys to the valet, with a twenty. Then immediately went to the back of the car to retrieve his wedding gift.

She watched curiously as he pulled the wrapped painting out and then walked in the front doors. Sensing that she wasn’t following, he turned around to look at her and beckoned her with a jerk of his head. Frowning slightly, she moved to his side.

There was a sign pointing toward the ballroom, that read, ‘Evans/Whitman Wedding’. He followed it down the hall and on his way into the ballroom he ran into Diane Evans.

“Oh, Michael!”

“Hi.”

She leaned up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, her smile was sincere, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Yeah…” he said, trying to give her a smile but failing dismally.

“And, who do we have here?” Diane smiled looking at Maria.

“Oh, uh…”

Maria stepped forward and offered her hand with a smile, “Maria Valenti.”

“Diane Evans, Maria,” Diane took her hand.

“Nice to meet you. I’m a friend of Max’s. He’s a wonderful man, you must be so proud,” Maria said.

“Oh, thank you, what a lovely thing to say,” Diane’s smile grew wider.

Michael watched their exchange. He’d never seen Maria that friendly. Well, she was friendly with customers…other customers. She looked perfectly at ease chatting with Diane. It surprised him.

“Uh, Diane, where do I put the gift?”

“Oh, well, I’d have to check with the wedding coordinator, but,” she paused and looked at the gift in his hands, “is that one of yours?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“I don’t think we should put that with the other gifts, I mean, my goodness,” Diane glanced around the empty hall as though looking for help. “Maybe you should put it in one of our rooms, it’s just much to valuable to be left out.”

“I don’t think-,” he started to shake his head.

“No, no. Listen, could you go store it in our room? It’s number 1215. Max is up there, all the groomsmen are using it as headquarters. I’d just feel much better if I knew it was safe.”

“All right,” he said.

“I’m so happy to have met you, Maria,” Diane said with a smile and a sly wink in his direction as she moved in the door.

“You too,” Maria said.

“Well, come on,” he said as he set off toward the elevators at the end of the hall.

“So, when exactly does the wedding start?” she asked as she followed him.

“At 7.”

“That’s not for another hour. Why are we so early?”

“I don’t know, Max said I should come early,” he said as they stepped into the elevator and he pushed the button for the 12th floor.

“Ok…” she said.

The elevator stopped and as they stepped out she started to unbutton her coat.

“What are you doing?” he asked, looking down at her.

“I’m hot,” she said, pausing with her fingers on a button to look up at him.

He knocked on the door at 1215 and had to wait nearly a minute for someone to answer. It was Max.

“Oh, thank God you’re here,” he said pulling Michael in the door and giving Maria a brief smile.

“Uh, yeah, Maxwell. You think you’re so-,” Michael started.

Max cut him off with a jerk of his hand, and whispered, “Later. I need your help.”

Setting the painting down against the sofa in the sitting room of the suite, he tried not to look irritated. Max owed him an explanation about his date.

“What do you need my help for?”

“Look, I can’t talk here,” Max glanced around nervously, then grabbed his arm, pulling him to the door, “come on.”

Michael glanced at Maria who had just taken off her coat and stopped dead in his tracks, holding Max with him. She looked stunning. He’d never imagined…Well, maybe he had imagined – while he was painting-.

“Michael?” Max’s voice was urgent.

“Huh…?” he replied, not taking his eyes from her. She was moving toward them, ready to follow. The red dress clung to her tiny body as she moved, and her hair was falling free around her face. He just realized that she was wearing it down. This was the only time he’d seen it that way, since-.

Max put his hand out toward her in a stopping motion, and she paused, looking startled.

“Oh, uh, Maria…actually, do you think you could just hang out here for a few minutes? Make yourself at home. There’s some food on that table over there,” Max pointed into the corner as he dragged Michael out of the room.
 

 

 

Maria looked around the hotel suite. Now what? She was about to sit down on the sofa when the door of the room was flung open.

A tall dark haired man in a tuxedo walked in followed by two others dressed similarly.

“Oh, hi,” the tall one said looking at her with a smile. “Who are you?”

“I’m Maria,” she said with a smile. “Maria Valenti.”

“Hey, Alex,” one of the other guys said, “we’re going to run downstairs and check in with the minister.”

“Ok, thanks guys,” Alex said as they left. He turned back to her, “I’m Alex Whitman. Take it you’re here for the wedding?”

Nodding, Maria laughed slightly and pointed at his attire, “I take it you are too?”

He laughed and walked over to the table of food picking up an éclair, and wiggling his eyebrows as he took a bite, “Oh, yeah. That’s why I’m here.”

Maria laughed, and he laughed a little harder and accidentally squeezed the éclair too hard. Some of the filling fell down onto the lapel of his jacket. Alex looked down in horror.

“Oh no. She’ll kill me.”

“Who?” Maria asked.

“Isabel. My bride. She.Will. Kill me.”

Maria pursed her lips and walked over to him grabbing a napkin and wiping up the majority of the cream. There was still a large grease spot that was highly visible.

“Uh, let’s get this into the bathroom,” she said helping him shrug out of the jacket.

***

“Maxwell, I do not see what you think I’m going to do. I can almost guarantee that I’m the last person she will want to see right now. Besides, I say if she doesn’t want to get married, don’t make her.”

“Look, Michael,” Max said, glancing around to make sure no one was in the hall as they stepped off the elevator, “she does want to marry him. She’s just sort of forgotten that fact. I’ve managed to keep my mom away, and Alex has no idea, but it’s going to be pretty obvious to everyone if they play ‘Here comes the Bride’ and no one walks down the aisle.”

“Don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Michael muttered.

“She keeps talking about you. And, how something isn’t right, and she isn’t honest enough. That he’s too good for her…I don’t know what to do with her. Just talk to her, please. It can’t hurt anything.”

Michael raised his eyebrows at Max, “It can’t hurt anything? How do you know I won’t just make things worse?”

Max pulled him into a hotel room, then led him down a hall and opened a door to what must the bedroom, turning, his friend whispered a plea, “Just go in there and get her to snap out of it. I’ve tried everything, you’re my last hope. You don’t know Alex, he’s a really sensitive guy, it would kill him if I had to go tell him she won’t go through with it.”

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he walked into the room, Michael hissed, “Trying to get me to feel sorry for him is not going to help your cause.”

He looked around as soon as Max shut the door behind him. The room was almost dark, lit only by a small lamp on a table near the bed, quietly, hoping she wasn’t there, he whispered into the darkness, “Iz?”

There was no answer. He walked to the middle of the room and felt a cold breeze. The balcony. He walked out and found her standing there in her white gown with it’s enormous skirt looking like she was in an ad for a dress designer.

“Hey,” he said, walking up to her.

“Michael?” her voice was soft, and she didn’t turn around.

“Yeah.”

“I-I can’t do it.”

She sounded scared. He didn’t know if he’d ever really heard her sound like that.

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t marry him. He deserves much better than me,” her voice cracked. “ You know that.”

“What are you talking about? I think pretty much everyone agrees it doesn’t get much better than you,” he said, nudging her arm to get her to look at him.

“Michael, I’ve never been completely honest with him. I told him that you and I were broken up when we started things,” she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

He’d never really known for sure, he’d never really seen the guy’s face, “So, it was him?”

Nodding, she laughed dryly and turned away from him.

“And, I had just met him when I found out about…I knew I wanted something else, and I was afraid that if I told you somehow you’d talk me into keeping it…”

He let out a sharp gasp and turned away from her. Well, there was the truth finally…two years after the fact.

“Don’t hate me. Please, Michael,” her voice sounded beside him. “If I hadn’t met him, I wouldn’t have-.”

[/i]You’re supposed to be comforting her, you’re supposed to be comforting her, you’re supposed to be comforting her…[/i]

“It’s not like I was some one night stand, Isabel. For God’s sake, you’d known me all your life. No matter who you wanted to be with, I would have been there, I would have done anything-.”

Her hand was on his arm, trying to turn him around, “I know that, and I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair, I know. If it helps, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. No matter how I look at it…that just wasn’t the answer. Please, tell me you don’t hate me.”

She was still pulling on him, so he turned to look at her. He looked at her pleading face and felt sorry, he got it now. It wasn’t her fault he’d reacted to all of it the way he had. If he had an ounce of maturity…

“Iz, I don’t hate you. Could never hate you,” he reached up to touch her cheek.

Letting a tiny sob escape, she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. He held her, trying not to mess up her hair or make-up, she’d always hated that. This wasn’t easy for him. It still hurt, but she needed to move on, and she needed his help to do it. He owed her that much.

“Thank you, Michael,” she whispered as she pulled back.

“Yeah. So, now, are you ready for this whole wedding thing?”

She shook her head sharply, “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“ No. I can’t.”

“Isabel-.

“No. He deserves someone better than me. Someone who will always be honest with him, who’d never hurt him.”

“Do you want to hurt him?”

“No.”

“ Willyou hurt him?”

“No, never.”

“Then, what’s the problem? As long as you’re willing to do everything you can to make things right between you-.”

“I haven’t been honest with him.”

“Be honest with him later. I don’t think it will make much difference to him anyway. Has more to do with you and me than it does him.”

“No, I can’t, it isn’t right.”

“Look, Isabel. You want this guy, want to marry him, you’re having a family with him…and he, well, it’s pretty obvious he’s completely gone for you. You’ll wind up together anyway, so why delay things by leaving him standing at the altar?”

“Ok.”

“Ok,” he said, turning to leave.

“Uh, bye…” she called after him.

He walked toward the elevators, and when he was inside one he slumped against the wall trying to pull himself together. The last thing he’d ever expected to do at Isabel’s wedding was try to get her to walk down the aisle and into the arms of another man.

***

“Ugh, why couldn’t they just have regular old donuts? No, it had to be éclairs,” Alex groaned as Maria dabbed at the lapel of the jacket.

She had laid his black coat out carefully on the bathroom counter, trying her best with the large grease spot while Alex sat on the toilet seat with his head in his hands.

“Hey, if this is the worst thing that happens on your wedding day you should be thanking your lucky stars,” she said, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, but things were going perfectly,” he said looking up at her.

“Don’t worry so much,” she giggled. “It’s just a jacket.”

“You don’t know Isabel. She’ll notice, and then I’ll feel awful. I just want things to be perfect, the way that she wants them. I have been waiting for this for so long.”

Maria shot him a big grin, “I think your Isabel is probably thanking her lucky stars that she found such a great guy. Trust me, she won’t notice the stain. She’ll be rejoicing that she has you, instead of being a typical groom who’s ready to chicken out at the last minute – I mean look at you, you can’t wait to say ‘I do’.”

“Well, I love her,” he said, a dreamy look coming over his face.

“That is so adorable, Alex,” Maria said as she pressed down hard on the spot with the towel, trying to dry it. “Now, why don’t you go get yourself a drink of water or something, to make sure your throat doesn’t get dry.”

“Ok,” he said as he stood and walked out into the other room.

She was still blotting when he came back in the bathroom, and he was starting to look worried again, so she decided to try to take his mind off it by talking about what she guessed was his favorite subject, “So, tell me how you met Isabel.”

“Oh, well, I was here for a conference, and I ran out of underwear,” he paused and shook his head laughing at himself. “Anyway, I had to go shopping, and she was there, and I noticed her – ok, I was watching her. Well, she accidentally left one of her bags after she sat it down on the floor to look at a sweater. So, I picked it up and chased her down, and we wound up having lunch together.”

“Wow, so it was love at first sight?” she asked, looking up at him in the mirror.

“Sort of,” he scrunched up his nose. “We got off to a pretty steamy start, but she was in the middle of a break-up, and I think she started to feel weird about moving on. Anyway, we broke things off and did the ‘friends’ thing for a while before we got back together again.”

“Well, that sounds like a good thing. I mean, if you had time to develop the friendship…well, isn’t that what they always say is best?”

“Yeah. I guess,” he said. “Didn’t think so at the time, though, because I was in New York and she was here…she kept calling me, because she was having a tough time with her ex…well, when I finally convinced her to get back together with me things were great – she moved east to be with me and everything.”

“Oh that’s sweet,” she said, looking closely at the stain. It looked like she’d nearly done it. “Well, let that be a lesson to you. Tough times have always strengthened your relationship – so you can live through the éclair stain.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I guess.”

She knew she shouldn’t ask, but she couldn’t help herself, “So, I bet you wanted to punch out her ex as much as you wanted to flush the éclair, huh?”

“Huh? Well, yeah. I don’t know. Everyone is always telling me that he’s misunderstood and high strung,” Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t like what it did to Izzy, but I guess break-up’s are never easy. It’s kind of tough, though, because he’s like a member of their family still. I mean he spent Thanksgiving with us for crying out loud.”

Maria didn’t know if he was talking about Michael or not. It didn’t sound like it.

They heard the door of the suite open, and Alex stood, “I’ll go see who that is.”

Pulling up the towel she’d been using to clean the jacket, Maria grinned. The spot was basically non-existent.

She stepped out of the bathroom and practically ran down the hall, “Alex, look! It’s all better, now.”

***

Michael walked in the room and went to sit down on the sofa, hoping to finish calming himself before he found her. Alex walked in from the hallway. Michael looked up at him, and saw the surprise on the man’s face.

“Alex, look! It’s all better, now.” Michael turned and could just see around Alex. There she was, holding up a black suit jacket.

Alex walked toward her and inspected the front of it, then grinned, “Maria! You’re my savior!” He smiled and gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek, then a bear hug.

Michael was on his feet in a flash, and tried to keep the venom out of his voice, “You ready?”

Maria looked startled when she looked at him, then her head moved to the side as if she was confused. Slowly, she walked over to him and then looked up meeting his eyes, “D-do you know Alex?”

He didn’t look up at Alex, but nodded down at her, thinking, ‘Yeah, I know him. He’s already got Isabel…’

“We’ve met,” Alex interrupted his train of thought.

Looking up at him, Michael nodded briefly, then turned back to Maria. She was looking at him, looking him in the eyes, she seemed concerned, and her hand squeezed his arm lightly.

“Well, we’ve only got about twenty minutes. We should be going, I suppose?” she asked him.

In response, he nodded.

She smiled at Alex as Michael led her to the door, “Good luck, Alex.”

“Thanks! I owe ya’ one,” Alex replied.

In the elevator she turned to face him, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look very well.”

“I had to…do something,” he looked down into her eyes. Those eyes. She’d never looked at him so much, not even that night…

“Are you all right?” she asked, searching his face.

“Yeah…” he wanted to look away from her, but couldn’t.

The elevator doors opened, and snapped him out of his daze. He led her out and they stopped to check her coat before walking into the ballroom where both the ceremony and the reception would take place. It seemed that most of the guests were already there, the seats were nearly all filled. An usher led them up to the second row and Michael was irritated to notice several men’s eyes on her. Possessively, he placed an open hand on her back as she stepped into the row and sat down, leaving him the aisle seat.

***

Maria looked over at him, wondering what to do. He didn’t look very well at all. It was the same look he’d had that night…Like he was ready to wretch but was using all of his strength to hold it back. She was beginning to get an idea of what the situation with Isabel was, and she knew that seeing Alex had been the last thing he needed. It was strange to think of anything affecting him, he always seemed so cold, but now…Well, no it really wasn’t that obvious that something was bothering him – maybe you just had to know him. Not that she knew him, really.

Liz and Max were seated in the front row and kept glancing back to look at them. Maria ignored them, but she caught Michael giving them a glare. He was probably irritated at what Max had come up with for date material.

Alex and his two groomsmen walked in from a side door with the minister and stepped up onto the raised dais that had been laid out with what seemed like thousands of candles and flowers. The lights dimmed as strains of music from the string quartet in the corner filled the room. Two bridesmaids and a flower girl made their way up the aisle, then everyone stood to watch the bride and her father. Maria couldn’t make out her face, because she was wearing a veil, but the dress she was wearing was stunning. It was strapless and the skirt was large, it looked fairytale chic. Isabel obviously had a near perfect figure, and Maria couldn’t help but lay her right arm across her waist to grip her left arm, in an attempt to cover herself.

As the woman and her father passed, Maria got a good look at her. She couldn’t help her sharp intake of breath, it was the woman she’d seen outside his apartment that night. So, this was the ex. Max’s sister. Alex’s love. Isabel. Maria was sure she saw the blonde’s eyes flick briefly to Michael as she passed.

If only there were some dark corner she could hide in. She didn’t want to be here, and she didn’t want to be with him. Now it was obvious just how different they were, how ridiculous her feelings were. Most likely he was embarrassed to be seen with her, he was way out of her league.

Throughout the ceremony, Maria managed to stay calm, letting her mind wander to happier thoughts, like watching Abby unwrap her presents that morning, or Kyle pressing a wrapped plain paper copy of his manuscript into her hands with a wink.

Before she knew it, it was over, Alex was kissing his new wife, and the audience was sighing happily. She turned to Michael who had been sitting absolutely still though the entire thing. His eyes appeared to be completely focused on the happy couple, but with closer inspection, she realized that his gaze was most likely on the tall arrangement of flowers that stood behind the minister.

After the wedding party had exited, the guests began to trickle across the hall to the banquet hall, where an informal meal was being served, and a dance floor was set up. Max and Liz walked over to them and asked them to join them at a table. Michael simply nodded, and they followed the other two and sat next to one another at the round table.

Liz and Max were discussing the wedding.

“Well, actually, Isabel thinks this is small. There are only 150 guests,” Max said to Liz.

“Small? That seems big to me,” Liz laughed.

Michael sucked in a deep breath, and started looking around the room with a bored look on his face as Liz and Max continued their conversation. She watched him carefully. He was agitated. Probably hoping no one he knew saw him with her.

“I’m going to go powder my nose,” she said to no one in particular as she stood and left the table without a backward glance.

***

“So, was this your bright idea?” Michael asked Liz, interrupting her conversation, as soon as Maria was away from the table.

Max and Liz both looked at him.

“What?” Max asked.

“This. The set-up,” he hissed leaning closer to Max. “Setting me up with a girl who can’t stand me.”

Liz laughed and Max smiled. Shaking her head, Liz spoke, “I think she can stand you, Michael.”

“Why, did she tell you something?” he asked her suspiciously.

Liz looked at him strangely, “No. What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. I’m going to get a drink.”

He got up and walked away from them and made his way over to the bar on the far wall. Leaning against the bar as he waited for the bartender to take his order, he saw her re-enter the room. She moved with her usual light steps, but something about the lighting, or that dress made her movements seems sensual, interesting. First she stopped at their table, and apparently after being told where he was, started walking toward him, weaving between the tables set-up in the room.

More than one pair of eyes turned her way, and it infuriated him.

“Can’t really blame you for wanting to escape the drool twins,” she said as she stood at his side looking back at Max and Liz who were engrossed in each other.

He laughed out loud, and she turned to him, looking startled. Biting the inside of his cheek, he looked down at her, “I do have a sense of humor.”

“Yeah…” she looked away. “Look, if you want to go, I understand, I mean…well, I know you wouldn’t have agreed to this if you’d known…”

“Known what? I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“Ok…”

The bartender spoke behind him, “What can I get ya’?”

“Scotch, rocks,” he said turning his head briefly to look at the man.

“What about me?” she asked him after the bartender had turned to get his drink.

“Are you even legal?” Michael asked, looking down at her.

She smirked, “Yes.”

“All right, do you want something?”

Blushing, she looked at her hands, “Not really.”

“Ok,” he said, looking back at Max and Liz.

The lights flickered, and he looked up to see Alex and Isabel walking in the door hand in hand. Most of the people in the room clapped, but he just watched. The veil Isabel had been wearing was gone, revealing her hair piled high on her head as he’d seen it earlier. They walked to the dance floor, where the lights dimmed and music began to play, then was joined with the sound of Etta James’s voice hummed out over a hidden sound system.

“At last…my love has come along…my lonely days are over…and life is like a song…”

Michael looked down at Maria. She was staring at the dancing couple with a sweet smile on her face, watching them sway in time to the music.

“Oh yeah, yeah…At last…the stars above are blue…my heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you…”

He watched as she pressed her palms together and interlaced her own fingers, then pulled her clasped hands up to her lips as her green eyes glimmered while they stared at the dance floor.

“I found a dream that I could speak to, a dream that I can call my own…”

“Beautiful,” she sighed.

He stared at her, and whispered, “Yeah…”

“…I found a thrill to press my cheek to, a thrill that I have never known…”

“I love this part of weddings,” she whispered back, never taking her eyes from the dance floor.

“Oh yeah, yeah…You smiled, you smiled…”

Something made him want to reach down and grasp her face between his hands, and still those luscious lips that were now silently singing along.

“…Oh and then the spell was cast…”

He watched her melt as Alex whispered something in Isabel’s ear, which she replied to with a nod and a smile. Her head tilted to the side, and her eyes took on a dreamy quality.

“…and here we are in heaven, for you are my ‘At last’…”

Sighing slowly, she dropped her hands in front of her and bit her bottom lip.

Michael tried to compose himself as the last strains of music faded away. What the hell was that? Getting all gooey over some sappy old song…It was a wedding. Everyone gets sappy at weddings.

Maria followed him as they made their way back to the table. Liz immediately asked her to go to the ladies’ room with her, and Maria complied.

“Thank you, for talking to Isabel,” Max said with a serious look on his face, “I don’t know what you said, but-.”

“Don’t mention it,” Michael said sharply, meaning exactly that.

“Ok…so, things seem to be going well with Maria, huh?”

Michael gave his friend a withering look, “Shut up.”

Max looked angry, “You know, she happens to be a wonderful girl. I mean when Liz told me everything about her taking care of Kyle and Abby, I was-.”

“Who are Kyle and Abby?”

“Her brother and his daughter. Don’t you know? You’ve been hanging around that coffee shop for as long as she has, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, haven’t you ever had a conversation with her?” Max asked incredulously.

“No. Oh, well, I guess we might have had one tonight. In the car.”

“ My God. I just figured that with all of the looks and the tension that…I don’t know…”

“No, you don’t know,” Michael said raising his eyebrows. “Now, what about her brother and his daughter?”

“Her brother was in a construction accident, I think it was more than a year ago, anyway he’s just now starting to recover – still can’t really walk. But, that’s not really even the worst part. A few days after he had the accident, his wife left him and their daughter. So, Maria had to drop out of school to help take care of the little girl, and then she had to get a job-.”

“And work fourteen hours a day,” Michael said softly.

“Well, yeah, I guess.”

“Miss us?” Liz asked as she and Maria approached the table.

“Of course,” Max smiled at her.

Michael looked up at Maria. She was watching him, but looked away when he caught her eyes. Silently, without looking at him again, she took her seat beside him. So, there it was – the truth. She was perfect.

“It looks like all of the traditional dances are over…” Liz winked at Max.

“I suppose you’re hoping someone will ask you to dance?” Max asked her.

“Well, yes, I am…You wouldn’t know anyone who’s available, would you?” Liz said with a sly smile.

“Yes, as a matter of fact-.”

“Oh, good grief, just dance already,” Maria said with false exasperation, softening it at the end with a small grin.

The pair looked at her, and then gave slightly embarrassed laughs as they stood and walked to the floor.

“Thank you,” Michael said, glancing at her sideways.

“Believe me, I did for all mankind.”

He snorted. Had she always been this funny? Looking over at her, he mulled over his knew found knowledge. Well, he’d known for a while that his original assumptions about her were incorrect, but he’d never guessed anything close to the truth. She was a poster child for good people everywhere.

Making a face as she drank the last of her soda, she looked around, presumably for a waiter. There wasn’t one nearby.

“Want me to get you another one?” he asked, gesturing at her empty glass.

Her eyes widened in surprise, “Yes, thank you.”

He stood and walked over to the bar, and laid a five on out on the counter so that he wouldn’t have to wait for the bartender’s attention. Within seconds, he had a new glass of cola and was on his way back to the table, when he saw that there was someone at their table talking to her. A guy.

Moving faster, he reached them just in time to hear the man say, “…so, I thought to myself, that little lady should be dancing. Care to?”

Her smile was polite as she looked up at the man.

“Maybe you should go hit on someone else’s date,” Michael said.

The guy looked up at him, startled, “Sorry, didn’t know she was taken.”

Michael narrowed his eyes, and the guy smiled quickly down at Maria, then walked away. He sat down and put the glass in front of her. Her lips were pursed, and he could tell that she wasn’t happy. Well, he wasn’t going to stand by and watch some sleaze grope her.

He didn’t notice when Alex walked up to their table, “Maria, I was hoping for a dance with the girl who saved the day.”

She smiled at him and stood immediately, “Love to.”

Michael watched them walk away and swore under his breath.

***

“The wedding was beautiful,” Maria said, smiling at Alex.

“It was, wasn’t it? Can’t take credit, it was all Isabel’s ‘vision’.”

They laughed.

“So, Maria, I’m curious, why didn’t you tell me to shut up when I started going off about Isabel’s ‘ex’ - who just happens to be your date?”

“Oh, well, I wasn’t sure which ex you meant,” she said. “I don’t really know anything about them other than that they were once together.”

“Really? Doesn’t he talk about her?”

“I don’t know, really,” Maria blushed and looked down.

“Ok,” Alex said looking at her strangely. “Well, do you have any idea why he was in the room earlier?”

“Oh, Mrs. Evans wanted him to leave his gift in there. She was afraid it was too valuable to be left out with the others.”

“Really? Wonder what it is…”

She laughed slightly, “Oh, it’s a painting, I’m pretty sure. Maybe it’s a portrait of Isabel or something.”

“I doubt that,” Alex said, “I asked Izzy once if she didn’t have a bunch of paintings of her laying around somewhere since they’d been together so long, and she said he doesn’t paint anyone he knows.”

“So, he does landscapes, or what?” Maria was interested, even though she knew who he was, she had absolutely no idea what his work was like.

“No, he paints people, but only strangers,” Alex shrugged.

“How long did they go out?”

“It was a little more than going out, they were together for three years after he was done with school.”

“Wow, I had no idea,” she said softly, then looked up at him. “Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry. It’s your wedding day and I’m discussing her ex.”

He laughed, “It’s no big deal. So, I take it you haven’t known him long?”

“Oh, I’ve known him for a while, just not very well.”

“Hmm. Well, I hope he deserves you.”

Maria laughed nervously, “It’s nothing like that. Really…”

“You don’t have to explain,” he said, looking embarrassed.

The song ended, and Maria noticed that the bride was walking, no gliding, toward them.

Alex wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist, “Isabel, I want to introduce Maria Valenti.”

Isabel furrowed her brow, “You seem very familiar to me.”

Maria blushed, hoping she wouldn’t remember that the last time she’d seen her she was delivering food to Michael.

“I just have one of those faces,” Maria said with a small smile.

Smiling, Isabel nodded, “Well, nice to meet you.”

Maria smiled.

“Alex, honey, the coordinator is insisting that we do cake and toasts now,” she said looking at her husband who was gripping her tightly still.

“Whatever you say,” Alex said looking deeply into her eyes.

Feeling embarrassed, Maria looked away. They were so in love it was overwhelming.

“Well, have a great night, I’m going to go sit back down,” she said, smiling in Alex’s direction.

“Ok,” Alex returned the smile, “and thanks again. You’re great in a crisis.”

She giggled slightly then walked back to her seat next to Michael, who looked upset again.

***

He watched her as she danced with Alex. She was smiling, like she was enjoying herself, and he couldn’t help but stare.

“You’re Michael Guerin, aren’t you?” the woman on sitting at their table on the other side of Maria’s chair asked.

“Uh, yeah…”

“I just love your work,” the woman plastered a smile on her face. “It’s absolutely fascinating.”

He hated these types. Right now, he wanted to tell the woman to take a flying leap. She’d probably never spent more than five seconds looking at his stuff.

“Thanks.”

“So, tell me, do you always let your emotions flow through your work? Do you see it as an outlet, or do you see it as a catalyst?”

He stared at the woman. Was she serious? What an ignorant, pretentious-.

When he didn’t answer, she spoke again, “Well, for instance, do you paint to show love, or do you feel love when you paint?”

She didn’t have to explain her stupid question, he understood her. This was getting annoying and he wanted to get away.

He used his best ‘you’re annoying me’ tone, “I don’t believe in love.”

Instead of taking the hint, the woman looked more intrigued, and started babbling about her own feelings on the subject. He ignored her and looked over at the dance floor, Maria said something to Isabel and Alex, then walked back and sat next to him.

***

Maria tried to act polite as the woman spoke to Michael as if she wasn’t even there.

“…so, I suppose I can understand why people would say they don’t believe in love.”

“Really?” Maria turned to the woman, enjoying the irritated look on her face that it was Maria and not Michael who was listening to her. “I think saying that you don’t believe in love is silly. If you believe that you feel anything at all, you have to feel love. Anger, jealousy, sorrow, rejection – if you believe you feel any of them, you have to believe that you feel love.”

The woman gave her an eye roll and then fixed her eyes on Michael. Maria turned to look at him as well. He was staring at her intensely, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. She hadn’t meant to step on his toes, she’d thought he was completely ignoring the woman. Raising her eyebrows at him, she shrugged and took a sip of her cola.

He picked up his empty tumbler glass, “I need another one of these, you wanna’…” he jerked his head toward the bar.

She was surprised he was inviting her along. Maybe he didn’t want to leave her alone with the woman to embarrass him in his absence. Nodding, she rose and they walked over to the bar.

Just as the bartender turned their way, the lights flickered and a voice over the loudspeaker said that it was time for the toasts. Maria looked to her right, and saw that the man with the microphone was actually the best man, standing behind Alex and Isabel just a few feet away from the bar. Everyone in the room quieted as first the best man, and then the maid of honor gave their best wishes to the bride and groom. She looked up at Michael and saw that he was staring blankly at the star couple.

After the first two toasts, Alex grabbed the microphone, and Maria couldn’t help but smile at his obvious discomfort with doing so.

“Uh, Isabel and I would like to thank everyone for coming,” Alex smiled at his wife and reached for her hand. “This is a really special day for us, made even more so by a certain upcoming event. And, even though I’m sure some of you would say we’ve got it a little bit backwards, we’re expecting baby to make three in about seven months.”

Several people in the crowd whooped and clapped, and Alex kissed Isabel on the cheek as he handed the microphone off to someone else. Maria was surprised that Isabel wasn’t looking at Alex after they started to walk back to the dance floor, she was looking at…Maria glanced up…Isabel was looking at Michael, and he was looking back.

His face had taken on the same look of illness from earlier, and the color seemed to drain from him. This look of his always seemed to get to her, so reached out and laid her hand on his arm.

He looked down at her and for a moment, she wasn’t sure if he knew who she was. Something was very wrong, and obviously it had to do with Isabel…

“Do you want to go?” she asked him quietly.

Michael’s eyes darted around quickly, and then he looked back at her, giving her an almost imperceptible nod. He didn’t move, just stayed in the same position half leaned on the bar. She wondered if he would be able to stand on his own. Reaching out, she grabbed his hand and led him out of the room. Without a word, he followed her, but his grip on her hand was almost painful.

Stopping quickly at the coatroom, she picked up her own coat and remembered that he’d left his in the car. While she was doing this, he simply stood behind her, staring off into space.

 

 

 

He let her lead him out the door of the hotel. They stopped in front of the valet sign, and she looked up at him. Not knowing what she wanted, he looked down at her.

Her eyes grew wider and she pursed her lips as she reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the ticket. Handing it to the valet, she squeezed his hand again and moved closer to his side as they waited for his car. When it came, she walked to the driver’s side and got in. He hesitated, then got in on the passenger side, unsure why she was driving, unsure why she had noticed that he was upset, unsure why she was being so kind to him...

Quickly, she slipped off her shoes and set them on the floor of the back seat, and then pulled the seat forward and adjusted the mirrors. He looked out the window, and through the glass doors of the hotel, he could just make out the sign, ‘Evans/Whitman Wedding’. So, she was married. Isabel was married, and was having a baby, and none of it included him. It was only a few moments ago that he realized that he’d always secretly thought it would. Somehow, despite everything, he’d always imagined that someday it would be the two of them. Now that image that had been secretly hidden in his mind had been completely purged. He and Isabel were over, so over, long over.

He could sense her nervousness. She was like a tight ball of energy in the seat next to him. Glancing over at her, he saw her looking at him. Her green eyes were wide, and she was biting her lower lip. Worry. She was worried about him.

Her breath seemed to catch, and he could hear the small strangled sound in her throat. She wanted to speak.

“I…That, I mean-, well it’s none of my business…but…the baby, it’s not yours…?” her voice was barely audible as she asked the question.

Breathing out sharply through his nose, he shook his head, “Not this time.”

“Oh…” she looked straight ahead.

Turning, he stared out the window again. He nearly jumped when he felt her hand curl around his own on his thigh. Looking first at her hand, and then at her, he felt his breath catch.

“Why?” he asked her.

She glanced at him, looking confused, “Why what?”

“Why me?”

Her brow furrowed and she swallowed hard, “I-I’m not sure-.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” he said, turning in his seat to study her face.

“I…” she closed her eyes briefly, then quickly opened them and focused on the road.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the drive. He was surprised when she stopped in front of his place. She should have gone to her building, he could have driven three blocks on his own.

He watched as she reached into the back seat and grabbed her shoes, then slipped them on her feet. Her movement fascinated him. Shoes on, she opened her door and hopped out, then walked to his side and opened his door. Doors, car doors. He hadn’t opened hers for her tonight.

She waited as he got out, and then followed him into the building to his door. Looking at the keys in her hand, he could see her mentally working out which ones opened the door. Her first guess was correct, and suddenly they were inside. Switching on the entryway light, she closed the door after him and stood next to it hesitantly.

“Why don’t you go get some rest?” her voice was soft, and concerned.

“You can’t walk home alone.”

“I can. I’ll be fine. I mean, I did it for a year and a half.”

He looked into her eyes, “That was before.”

She seemed bothered by his words, and looked down at her feet, “I’ll just hang out here for a little while, then. No one’s home at my place anyway.”

The way she was standing, wearing her beautiful dress, but with her eyes downcast…

“Make yourself at home,” he said as he walked over to the staircase. He went to his bedroom and decided to take her advice. Looking at the door, he considered closing it, but decided there wasn’t really a point. Quickly, he stripped and left his suit draped over the easy chair in the corner, threw back the covers, then plopped on his bed in his boxers. A little bit of light came into the room through the door, which was open to the room below.

Listening carefully, he heard her moving around. First, he heard her use the phone and leave a message saying “Don’t know when or if I’ll be home, so don’t worry.”

After the phone call, he heard the bottles inside the door of his refrigerator rattle, and knew she had opened it. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of a plastic seal breaking and knew she’d gotten herself a bottle of water. Next, he heard paper pages being turned, and decided it had to be the Rolling Stone he’d left out on the counter in the kitchen. Closing his eyes, he pictured her downstairs, with a bottle of water in her hand, leaning over the counter while she flipped through a magazine, with her long hair down around her shoulders and that red dress clinging to her tightly.

His eyes flew open when he heard his stereo come on. He’d had the volume up high, and she turned it down quickly, then switched it from the cd player to the radio and flipped through several stations before settling on some sort of easy 80’s rock station. Not something he’d normally put up with listening, but if it was what she wanted…Reaching up behind his head, he flipped on the overhead speakers above his bed to hear the music better.

The next sound he heard made his breath catch in his throat. She was climbing the stairs. Lacing his hands underneath his head, he tried to act casual. It wasn’t a big deal to have a girl in his house, and he tried to make himself remember that when he saw her silhouetted in his doorway.

Leaning against the doorframe and fingering it hesitantly, he knew she was just there to check on him, still worried because of the reaction she’d seen him have earlier. He was afraid she’d ask him how he was feeling. How could he explain that his reaction had been the end of pain and not the beginning of it? Maybe it wasn’t necessary…

No, it definitely wasn’t necessary. She was just the waitress…

…The sainted waitress who sacrificed everything for her family, and worked like a slave, who had inspired him to do more work than he ever had, and whose every action seemed to fascinate him.

…Just the waitress who’d seen something in him that had shown through her eyes for a few minutes while she was beneath him, and who he’d been dreaming about getting back into his bedroom ever since the moment she last left it…

***

Maria stood in his doorway, watching him. She tried to tell herself that she was just making sure he was all right, but she knew why she was there. He was watching her, and his eyes were smoldering, and she knew he wanted her. It wasn’t surprising. He’s in pain, and a girl comes to his bedroom, offering herself to him – ‘any port in a storm’, of course he wouldn’t refuse. She should refuse. Walk away, not look back. It wasn’t worth it, she’d done this before…

She needed to turn herself around and walk away. This wasn’t going to get her anywhere. It was stupid to jump into this just to have an excuse not to face up to the fact that her life was changing. There were things she needed to do, the last thing she needed was to complicate things further. So, she’d made the mistake once, she could live with it and move on, but again…No. She looked up at him, determined to leave, then she saw his face…

No, no, no…

Clenching her hands into fists, she walked to his bedside and sat down carefully on the edge, reaching her hand out to put it on his forehead. He grabbed her wrist with his fingers and sat up to face her. His eyes seared her, he was so close that she could feel his breath hot against her mouth as it escaped through his barely parted lips.

If only he hadn’t looked like that, if only he hadn’t shown any weakness. It was too much. He was too strong, and a strong man in pain was irresistible. It was textbook.

This pull, this undeniable attraction to him. She couldn’t escape it. Every moment she was with him, she felt it, and the more she ignored it the more powerful it was. They were frozen, almost touching, and she knew what he was waiting for. So, she closed her eyes, and leaned into him as his mouth closed on hers.

His hands buried themselves in her hair as he sent shivers up her spine with his lips. She ran her fingers up his bare back and then back down again, and she lost herself in the feeling of his kiss, moaning softly into his mouth as his tongue explored hers.

The passion of the kiss fanned her smoldering desire into dancing flames, and she gripped his shoulders hard as he bit at her neck. Eventually, he moved her to her feet and turned to put his feet on the floor as he sat on the edge of the bed. His fingers found the zipper of her dress and slipped it down and the garment off before she even knew what was happening. He pulled her down for a kiss as he ran his hands around the skin of her waist making her shiver, then moved them up to unhook her strapless bra which he peeled away. She threw her head back as he pulled out of the kiss and moved his lips to her breast, softly teasing her nipple with his lips until she was gasping and then taking it into his mouth fully and grazing it with his teeth, making her cry out and dig her fingernails into his back.

He knew how to touch her. Everywhere, every inch of her skin that he touched felt white hot, and his lips seemed to make her nerves scream. She lost herself completely to his hands, his lips, his skin. When he slipped her small panties off she barely noticed, but when he began to stroke her lower lips with his fingers, she became extremely aware, thrusting her pelvis into his hand as he moved his fingers inside her, occasionally teasing the small bundle of nerves that made her shudder.

When the need became an unbearable ache, she reached down to remove his underwear but found they were already gone, so she pulled his head away from the place he’d been kissing her neck and told him with her eyes what she needed. She’d expected him to lay her on the bed but instead he pulled her tightly to him, so that she was straddling his hips, resting her knees on the bed. Then, he put one hand on her hip and guided her down until she felt him pressing into her entrance. He gripped her tightly and stopped her when she tried to impale herself on him too quickly, making her take him in slowly.

God, it was amazing. There was a little pain, but nothing like the first time. She continued to push down slowly and felt herself stretching, widening to accommodate him. Her eyes were open, and she watched as his breathing became uneven and his head moved back slightly. It felt unbelievable having him inside her, and she felt a tightness in her throat as though she were on the verge of a sob. Slowly, she rocked forward and upwards, and watched as his eyes fluttered and he gasped. Still watching his reactions, she moved down again, this time a little more sharply, and he let out a moan that was almost a whimper. Maria paused, lost in the wonder of what she was doing to him, and his eyes finally focused on hers and then gained an intense look as his hands found their way to her hips, urging her into a slow, steady rhythm.

***

She was driving him crazy. He couldn’t take much more. No matter how many times he told himself that he needed to let her do this her own way, he was constantly fighting the urge to throw her down on the bed. He needed more of her, he needed to get deeper. This was torture. It was all he could do to keep from screaming.

God, she was so tight, so wet, so perfect, and the noises she made…The soft mews, the throaty gasps, the moans, the low groans. He was so turned on, so hard…

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he felt her hot breath as she sighed into his ear. It was killing him, a slow burn. He pulled back and was about to move her when he saw the look in her eyes. Those eyes. That look she was giving him, like he was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen.

“Why?” he gasped as she rocked slowly down on him, the feeling of her sliding onto him making him want to scream for more, do something to control her tortuous rhythm.

She stared at him, pressing her forehead against his as she continued the rocking.

“Why?” he asked, unable to keep the pleading from his voice as he thrust his hips up into her, making her eyes roll back for a moment, and eliciting a raspy moan from her throat.

Unable to stand it for another second, he lifted her off of him, and she looked down at him desperately. Quickly, he stood and picked her up, laying her down on the bed and then laying down on top of her.

He was about to thrust into her as she looked up at him with those smoky eyes, when he remembered that she hadn’t answered him.

“Why?” he asked again, his voice stronger this time. She took in a sharp breath, and her eyes flickered away from him. It was obvious she wasn’t going to answer, so he pulled her legs apart and buried himself in her hard and fast, unable to stop the loud groan from escaping his lips.

Her back arched and she let out a cry at his re-entrance, and he looked down at her as he began to move inside her to see that she was staring at him again, barely able to keep her eyes open.

“Because I love you,” she said in a strangled whisper as her hands gripped his upper arms tightly.

Michael stopped and pulled out. More because of the constricting pain in his chest than her words. She was young, she didn’t really know what she was saying. The pain in his chest had become an ache, and he watched as her eyes closed and she moved under him, begging him to thrust into her again. After another moment he did, burying his face in her neck, reveling in the smell of her, the feel of her, the taste of her.

The feeling in his chest had dissipated throughout his body, and it seemed as though it was present in every pore. He didn’t know what it was, and he didn’t know why it was – if he were somewhere else, he could paint it, but right now, he was inside her and there was nowhere else he wanted to be. Needing an outlet for the emotion, and unable to think of another, he began to speak it in the only word that came to mind, “Maria…”

At the sound of her name on his lips, her eyes flew open and she looked up at him. She was writhing beneath him, making him crazy, and he said it again, “ Maria…”

He was moving too fast, and he was close to the edge - he was beginning to worry that he wouldn’t be able to hold out long enough for her when he felt her come violently beneath him, crying his name, “ Michael.”

Her walls tightened around him, fluxing, making his vision cloud, “Maria…Maria… Maria…Oh God. MARIA!”

Michael squeezed his eyes shut as he emptied himself into her, savoring the moment as he thrust his few last times. When he opened her eyes, he saw her looking up at him, searching. This had happened before. She’d seen something afterward that changed that look in her eyes. He wasn’t going to let it happen again, so he leaned down and kissed her, tenderly but firmly. Now, she wouldn’t have a chance to think about leaving.

***

Maria answered his kiss passionately, still riding the high of her climax. It was overpowering, he was over powering. He was still buried deep inside her, and she felt him shifting his weight and pulling out while carefully continuing the kiss. Now, he was laying beside her, his hand on her cheek, kissing her senseless.

When he pulled away, she tried to catch her breath, staring at his face. He wouldn’t take his eyes off her, as if he thought she’d disappear if he did. She reached up to caress his cheek the way he was caressing hers. They stayed that way for a few moments, then she tried to get up to go to the bathroom. His arms were around her instantly, pulling her gently back.

“I-I have to…” she looked at him with a small smile.

He looked at her carefully, then released her. She stood, and feeling embarrassed of her nudity, she grabbed her dress off the floor and held it in front of her. Let him get a look at her bare ass, not like he hadn’t seen it before. When she exited the bathroom, she was surprised to see him standing right in front of the door. His eyes raked up and down her body, he was obviously not happy that she was dressed again.

Walking into the bathroom still completely nude, he shut the door behind him and locked it, then wrapped his arms around her, gripping her waist. She gave in to his kiss, but pulled back in protest when he started to unzip her dress. He nipped at her jaw and neck to distract her as he removed the garment for the second time that night. Once it was off, he pulled back and grabbed her hand to lead her into the shower.

When he turned the knob, the heat of the water made her jump and he moved her out of the stream until he’d adjusted the temperature. After a few moments, he brought her into the water, pressing his body flush against hers. She couldn’t believe the way he was continuing to touch her, keep her near him. They bathed quickly, while he continued to keep her close, pulling her back to him if she moved too far away.

He turned off the water and opened the shower door slightly to snake his hand around the corner and grab two towels from an unseen shelf. Handing one to her, he dried quickly and tied his around his waist while she did the same, securing hers under her arms. Before he opened the door to leave the shower again, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again. All of this kissing was leaving her dizzy. She barely had time to catch her breath, let alone think.

Grabbing her hand, he led her back to the bedroom and flipped on the light before walking over to his dresser where he opened a drawer and pulled out a black t-shirt and handed it to her.

“I can’t,” she said softly shaking her head, “I should get home.”

“Stay,” he said looking into her eyes.

She shook her head again, “No, I really-.”

He cut her off by grabbing her face between his hands and kissing her again, then pulled back, whispering, “ Stay.”

“Ok,” she whispered, taking the shirt from him, having no idea what she was doing.

He put on a clean pair of boxers and some pajama bottoms as she pulled the t-shirt on over her head and discarded the towel. Walking to the door, he closed it and turned off the light, then took her hand again and led her to the bed, making a motion for her to climb in.

Sliding into the bed after her, he quickly pulled her to him, then grabbed the covers, tucking them in around her. He held her against his chest, and she felt tense for a moment, then relaxed draping herself over him, her head lay on his shoulder, one of her legs was thrown over his. His arms were wrapped around her, and he turned his head and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Maria felt limp. Lying there with him felt more perfect than anything she’d ever known. It was as though she was made to fit him, molded against his body. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep before she even had a chance to process everything that had happened within the last few hours.

***

Michael held her close and knew she’d fallen asleep when he heard her breathing even out. He tried not to smell her hair, which had gotten slightly wet in the shower making its scent even more tantalizing. And, he tried not to notice how sensually her body was pressed to his, or how, even in her sleep, her tiny hand was making his toes curl with the small fluttering circles it was drawing on his chest.

He didn’t know what to think. The only thing that he knew for certain was that she made him feel…differently…than anyone else ever had. There was something about her, something he was drawn too. He wasn’t really sure what it was.

She sighed softly and snuggled her face into his chest. This wasn’t annoying. It wasn’t a pain, or something he begrudged her. Holding her felt right, good.

***

Maria opened her eyes to see the sun filtering in through the blinds on his windows. She was still in the same position she had been when she fell asleep. Lying on his chest, his arms around her. Yawning, she moved away, careful not to wake him. His arms fell loose at his sides as she sat back and looked down at him. In his sleep he was beautiful. All of his features were softened, and he had an earnest look.

The clock on his bedside table read 7:05, and she almost panicked, but then she remembered that it was Sunday, and she didn’t need to worry about work. Slowly, she moved out of bed keeping an eye on him to be sure he stayed asleep. Gathering her clothes from the floor, she went into the bathroom, and after taking one look at her hair decided that she needed to wash it before she went home. Hopping in the shower, she let the water wash over her as she considered everything that had happened.

Isabel. The beautiful woman had a name…and a place. His ex. He’d been with her for three years, and obviously was still deeply attached to her. So, that was one more reason to add to the list of ‘why it’s stupid for me to think that something’s happening between us’. Of course, last night had lessened one of her insecurities.

It had been obvious that he’d enjoyed himself this time. She’d watched his face…well, until he laid her down and she couldn’t even remember to breathe, let alone keep her eyes open…but before that she’d watched him, and she’d seen what it did to him. Thinking over the whole experience, she was-.

Wait. How could she have forgotten? She’d glossed over it because she was sure he hadn’t heard, but she’d told herself she would keep an eye on him to see if he acted strangely…but, she hadn’t. No, she’d been completely lost in his touch, and she’d forgotten to make sure he hadn’t heard her.

When her hair was rinsed thoroughly of the shampoo and conditioner, she turned off the water and stepped out to dress herself in the red dress. Finding a comb in his drawer, along with a three pack of brand new toothbrushes which she helped herself to, she managed to make herself look partially presentable, and opened the bathroom door. Never would she have expected to be greeted by the smell of food cooking. Carefully, she walked to the railing overlooking the main room and glanced over it to see him in front of the stove with a frying pan (of all things) in his hand. It looked like he was making scrambled eggs, and another smaller frying pan seemed to contain tiny sausages. She stepped back and took a deep breath before she started down the stairs. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined him cooking.

She walked carefully into the kitchen and stood in front of the kitchen counter opposite him. His back was to her, and he was still shirtless, but was now wearing an old pair of blue jeans. The muscles on his back were like the ones on his chest and stomach, definitely there, but not overly defined, just the way she liked them. A smile somehow found it’s way to her face as she noticed how the hairs on the back of his neck curled slightly, sexy…

He turned around when some toast popped up in the toaster on the counter behind her, and seemed surprised to see her. His eyes sought hers, and his jaw set itself firmly.

“Um, ‘morning,” he said as he pulled the toast out of the toaster and placed it on the plate he had sitting in front of it.

“Good morning,” she said, looking down at the floor. It was embarrassing to even think that he might have heard her last night.

She was still staring at the floor when she felt his hands on her hips turning her to face him, pulling her against him. When she looked up, he was leaning down to kiss her, and she tilted her chin up and met his lips. The kiss was sweet and slow, but didn’t break, and before she knew it they were gripping each other tightly, her arms were flung around his neck, and his hands were buried in her hair…

The smell of something burning reached both of their noses at once, because they each pulled back and stared at each other in confusion. He glanced at the stove.

“ Sh*t,” he hissed as he moved quickly over to pick up a pan full of crispy eggs.

How long had they been kissing anyway?

Picking up the pan, he carried it over to the sink and dropped it in, then turned to her with a grin. Her stomach dropped to her feet.

A grin.

She’d never seen one of his before. It had a smirky quality, and it certainly wasn’t large, but she knew what it was, and it was making her knees weak.

This was something she could get used to. Him, in the morning, smiling at her, kissing her. He made her feel so alive.

“Is this why you don’t cook?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t see how his smile had affected her.

He laughed as he walked to the fridge and pulled out the carton of eggs, then got another pan out of the cupboard next to the stove, “Uh, I was just doing scrambled, because everybody likes scrambled, but-.”

“You’re cooking for me?” she asked him softly, she’d just assumed it was for him.

Whipping her a quick look he said, “Yeah, what do you think I’d eat in front of you?”

Unsure of how to respond, she simply turned and walked out into the main room. The sunlight was shining in brightly through the windows. Somehow his studio in the corner stood out, probably because it wasn’t lit, and she felt drawn to it.

There were stretched canvases leaned against walls and tables, some clean, some partially painted, some filled. A large one in the corner drew her. It was done entirely in black, a man trapped in a box with a look of rage on his face, though she wasn’t sure, she had a feeling the man was him. Glancing to her left from that one, she saw another larger canvas mounted on the wall. It was an extreme close-up of someone’s eyes, just a small bit of the cheek underneath and a small bit of forehead above the eyebrows. So, he was good. Of course, she didn’t know a good painting from a good wine, but she knew that it touched her.

Sketchbooks were littered all over the room, most open to a drawing. On closer inspection of one sitting on a table under the eyes, she saw an aerial view of a nude woman, lying on a bed, her hair fanned out beneath her, her eyes half closed with a look of rapture on her face. This too had an affect on her, and she began to wander around the room, closely examining the sketchbooks and the canvases, finished or not. They all seemed to be of the same woman. When she was crouching down to look at one which seemed to be just a view of a leg, she glanced down at a sketchbook on the ground. The drawing she saw in it was more crisp and in focus than the paintings and other sketches. Almost immediately she recognized the setting, it was Murray’s, a view from outside the front window. She saw a waitress standing behind the counter, with a hand on her head as though she were smoothing her hair back. It was the woman from all of the sketches and paintings….

Her. It was her.

Leaping to her feet, she looked at the sketches and paintings again. Now she could see it. Everywhere. Her own reflection, various snap shots of her body, leered at her from around the room. At first she was amazed. This was the way he saw her. He painted her, he was obsessed with her. Then Alex’s words from the night before began to echo in her mind. He’d never painted Isabel. He didn’t paint anyone he knew.

The truth of it hit her hard and fast. Just moments ago, she had let him kiss away her newest set of concerns, and it had been foolish. She didn’t mean anything to him. And, obviously she never would.

“It’s ready,” she heard his voice calling from the kitchen.

For some reason she panicked. Reaching her hands up to smooth her hair, she accidentally brushed them against her cheeks and felt tears. Crying. She was crying. Quickly wiping at the moisture, she took a few deep breaths to steady herself. What was she doing here? Everything was happening for her. A whole new future was stretching out into the horizon, and she was constantly consumed with thoughts of him.

“Maria?” his voice behind her made her jump.

She took a few deep breaths and didn’t turn to look at him, “Yeah?”

“The food is…” his voice trailed off. It made her want to turn around and see what was happening on his face, but she couldn’t. She knew he’d see she was upset.

“Uh, sorry, I really should get going,” her voice faltered slightly, and she took another steadying breath and tried to focus. Her eyes landed on the painting of… her eyes. She walked over to it and looked up, hoping that by concentrating on it she could distract herself.

His bare feet made whispering noises as he walked across the floor to stand behind her. Turning her head slightly, she was just able to make out his form.

“It’s you,” he said firmly, and she knew he was talking about the painting.

“Uh…yeah,” she said, trying to keep her voice light. “I sort of…I sort of knew that…”

She was shocked when she felt his hands on her hips, and felt a shiver run up her spine as he slid them around her waist wrapping her in an embrace from behind, pulling her to him. He buried his face in her hair, and when she leaned her head back against him, his lips moved to her neck. This was too much. It was so unfair for him to make her feel this way.

He didn’t see her as anything, just a stranger. No, he was a famous artist, and he was probably still in love with his now married ex, and he was closed off, and he probably wouldn’t be any good for her…and he made her feel like she was flying…

No. This had to stop. She was completely attached, and it didn’t really mean anything to him. An attempt to pursue things would be like asking to be a statistic. It was time for her to wake up and take control of her life, and that was going to start here and now.

Maria pulled away from him quickly. He looked at her, confused and started to reach for her.

“No, sorry. I have to go.”

He searched her eyes, his brow furrowed. For a moment she could have sworn she saw the strange sick look that he’d gotten-.

She tore her eyes away. This wasn’t the time for delusions. In fact, even if he did care it didn’t matter. Keeping her eyes on the floor, she walked past him on her way to the door.

“ No, Maria.”

His voice halted her. He sounded angry. Very, very angry. Snapping herself back to her resolve she walked to the coat rack by the door and grabbed her mother’s coat, then quickly slipped her feet into the shoes she’d discarded there the night before.

Suddenly, he was beside her, “What are you doing? You can’t just walk out, I-.”

She glanced up at him, “Really. I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have stayed last night anyway.”

Standing, she grabbed her evening bag from another hook and took another step toward the door.

“Don’t. Do not leave,” his voice was hard and low, as if he were lecturing some errant teenager.

Ignoring him she reached for the knob, only to see his hand slam on the door, muscles tensed, obviously trying to keep it closed. Why did he care? He didn’t, did-. No, he didn’t.

“Look,” she said, keeping her voice low to match his, glad she wasn’t facing him, “I am leaving. I need to go home.”

‘And I need to get on with my life,’ she thought.

“No.”

She was exasperated. Why was he making this difficult?

“I have things to do. Things that do not include you or my stupid job, and I need to get started on them. Now, stop getting in my way. I.Have.To.Go.”

The hand on the door relaxed, and dropped, and she heard him sharply release a breath. Quickly, she opened the door just enough to let herself through, then closed it behind her, moving quickly out of his building and down the street toward home.

***

Michael stared at the closed door and ran a hand through his hair. He’d let her slip away. All of those stupid movies about women liking it if you cooked them breakfast-.

His fist slammed hard into the door, and he fell on his ass, cradling his hand in his lap. That was probably a mistake.

So, what was it this time? He couldn’t imagine that there was any doubt about how he’d felt about last night, he’d completely lost it inside her. Was it the food? Did he not make it clear enough that he wanted her to stay? His work – the paintings? It might be that…no, she’d melted into him even after she’d seen them.

God, she was always like this. Hot and cold. Impossible to figure out. Most people at least gave him a hint what he was or wasn’t doing. Not her. Oh no.

The thing that didn’t make sense – that he couldn’t figure out – was why she would run if she thought she loved him. He believed it. Well, not that she loved him, but that she thought she did. It was all over her face, it was shining in her eyes…he didn’t really know why, but she saw something in him. So, why run? What was it? What was he doing?

Standing awkwardly he went to the freezer and pulled out an ice pack, and wrapped it in a towel, then laid in on his knuckles.

He sat on his couch and stared into the studio, at the exact spot they’d been when she’d suddenly pulled away. Maybe if he re-traced her steps…

Standing where she had been, he looked around. There was the picture of her eyes, she’d been staring at it. Glancing around, he tried to see if there was something that would have upset her. He’d done some sketches of Tess while she was staying with him, but he had a feeling they were in the book he kept on the coffee table. Turning in a complete circle, he was mystified. Everything that surrounded him was her. Was she upset by herself?

He laughed wryly as he went back out to the living room and flopped onto the sofa again, wincing as the movement jarred his hand.

This was not what he wanted. He wanted her to stay. She made him feel, she made him think, she even made him laugh. There was so much more he wanted to know. Even the thought of them having something…well, long term…didn’t bother him. Not as long as she kept making him feel the way she did, not as long as she kept looking at him like he hung the moon…

Throwing his head back, he stared at the ceiling, four stories up, so far away. It was so stupid that he was stuck wondering about all of this stuff. He sounded like a girl or something. In fact he could just imagine Tess as she’d re-counted every moment she’d spent with that guy she was interested in, wondering what she could and couldn’t read something into. Maybe it was time to call in an expert. Could Tess give him a clue about what was going on?

Somehow, the thought of calling Tess made him feel guilty. He only called her when he needed something. She was almost always the one who initiated contact. It was something he’d always noticed, but it had become more obvious since her break-up with Max. In fact, now every time she used one of her favorite lines it made him feel a little guilty, even though she never used it in reference to herself. He could just hear her as she watched him pout over something with Isabel, ‘It’s not all about you, Michael.’

It’s not all about you, Michael.

“It’s not all about you, Michael,” he said to himself as he stood and walked back into the corner to stand in the spot again.

So, maybe there were other things in her life. Of course there were. From the sound of things, she had a lot of stuff to deal with. He sat down on the floor and stared up at her eyes on the wall.

If it wasn’t about him, then what was it about?

 

 

 

Maria glanced at the clock above the door. Three hours and she still hadn’t seen him. Swallowing hard, she tried to put a smile on her face as she delivered the breakfast plates to table two. At least she’d had all of Sunday to prepare herself. Not that she’d done much preparing. Mostly she’d just sat in her room pigging out on the pumpkin pie Kyle brought home with him, and avoiding her brother’s questions about the night before.

As she was dispensing change for the lone guy at the counter she heard the door chime, and knew, knew it was him.

Trying to keep her mind on what she was doing, she walked back to the guy and handed him the change.

“Uh, Miss, I gave you a twenty, not a ten,” the man said staring down at the bills she’d laid in front of him.

“Oh, sorry,” she whispered as she walked back to the register quickly, pretending not to see Michael as he sat down.

Pulling out a ten dollar bill, she walked back to the man and handed it to him, “Here you go, sir, sorry about that.”

“Sure,” the man said as he grabbed the money and left.

Quickly washing her hands in the small sink in the corner, she walked back and placed a cup in front of him and filled it with coffee, making an effort to keep her hands from shaking. He was watching her. She could feel it. His eyes were like lasers, boring holes into her skin.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice low and flat.

She jerked up quickly and splashed coffee onto the counter. He spoke to her. He didn’t speak to her, not here. He didn’t say ‘Good morning’.

Using a nearby washcloth, she cleaned up the spill.

“Not speaking, huh?” he asked her as she started to walk away.

Her feet were frozen to the ground. Turning slowly, she tried to avoid looking into his eyes. He didn’t look angry, but his gaze was still piercing.

“I…uh, good morning,” she whispered, then turned and walked into the kitchen.

She hurried about, waiting on the three tables of customers, and doing her best to pretend he wasn’t there.

When the cook put up his order, she had to retrieve it and take it to him.

“Thanks,” he said as she set the plate in front of him.

What was he trying to do?

“Y-you’re welcome,” she said

She accidentally met his eyes, and quickly looked away again. It was going to be a long day.

***

Michael walked across the street and entered the diner. It wasn’t quite 9, so he sat down at the counter. She had seen him come in, he saw her make a run for the kitchen. When he’d come in earlier for breakfast she’d wanted to do the same thing – he could tell.

“What can I get for you?”

He was startled and looked up to see a strange new blonde in uniform.

“Uh, nothing,” he said, wondering who she was.

The girl looked at him strangely, “Well, I don’t know if we’re supposed to let people sit in here without ordering.”

That made sense, but since he didn’t want to explain that he was waiting for someone to get off work he said the first thing that came to mind, “Coffee.”

“Ok,” the girl smiled and walked away.

When she returned, she set a cup down in front of him and started filling it.

“Uh, just half,” he said holding his hand up to halt her pouring.

The girl laughed softly, “I’ve still got to charge you for a full cup.”

He looked up at her, irritated, “That’s fine.”

“I thought maybe that was why you weren’t ordering-.”

“I can afford a cup of coffee,” he said, glancing at the clock above the door hoping that Maria would appear soon. Damn, still another five minutes.

“Ok, sorry didn’t mean to offend you,” the girl said with an amused look. “So, uh, do you come in here often?”

Michael swung back around to look at the girl, “Yeah.”

“I’ll probably be seeing a lot of you then,” she said with a smile.

He stared blankly at her. Why was she talking to him?

“Yeah…” he whispered, seriously contemplating waiting outside in the cold.

“So, do you have a name?”

“Everybody has a name,” he retorted, wishing she’d shut up and leave him alone.

“Well, that’s true, do you know what yours is?” she had adopted a teasing tone, and she was batting her eyelashes.

“Michael.”

“Michael…?”

“Guerin.”

“Michael Guerin. Nice name. Do you want to know mine?”

“No.”

“Ok…” she laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Are you scared of girls or something?”

Michael dug into his pocket, pulled out a bill and laid it on the counter, then stood to walk out the door.

“This is a twenty,” the girl said, holding the bill up in the air and looking at him curiously.

“Yeah, thanks for the coffee,” he muttered as he turned to walk toward the door.

Just then, Maria burst out of the kitchen, cast a quick glance at him then headed straight for the door.

He quickly moved to follow her.

“Don’t be a stranger,” he heard the new waitress call as he stepped outside.

Maria was a couple of steps ahead of him, and he had to jog to catch her. When he reached her side, she started to walk faster. He kept pace with her, trying to keep an eye on her face as they made their way to her building. Her eyes were downcast, and she was biting her lip.

They had just stepped up onto her block when she halted suddenly. He turned back to look at her, and followed her gaze to the yellow car parked in front of her building. She looked worried.

“What is it?” he asked.

She jumped slightly and glanced at him for a moment. For a moment, he thought she would speak because her lips began to move, but then she swallowed hard and started to walk again.

He walked with her, and watched the nervous looks she was giving the yellow car with curiosity. When they reached her building, he stopped at the bottom of the steps and watched her walk up to the door as usual. Once she was inside, he walked over to the yellow car and looked it over. It was an older compact, and it was extremely dirty.

Maybe it belonged to an old boyfriend or something. The very thought of that made him angry. There was so much he didn’t know about her. He really needed to have a long talk with Liz and get her whole story. Of course, he could always ask Maria. She probably wouldn’t tell him anything though.

His fingers started to worry his eyebrow as he sat down on the steps of her building, debating what she would do if he pushed the intercom button for her apartment.

***

Maria took the steps up to the apartment two at a time. There was a chance that she was wrong about the car, there were probably thousands of those cars in yellow. No reason to jump to the conclusion that-.

She quickly unlocked the door and walked in. All of the lights were on, and she could hear Kyle’s voice coming from the kitchen in a yelling whisper.

“…take what you want and go. I’m not going to play this game.”

“Take what I want?” Vickie’s voice was loud. “I want my daughter!”

“Really? Since when?” Kyle’s voiced was hushed, but full of sarcasm.

Maria walked down the hall to her bedroom quickly, hoping they didn’t see her as she walked past the kitchen. Changing quickly into jeans and a sweater, she walked out of her room to see Abby in the hall sleepily rubbing her eyes.

“Where’s daddy?” the little girl asked her.

Maria picked her up and carried her back into the bedroom, “Shhh, kiddo, you should be in bed.”

“They woke me up,” Abby said.

“I know, but go back to sleep,” Maria said softly, tucking her carefully into the bed.

“What is she doing here?” Vickie asked flinging open the door of Abby’s room.

“That’s my mom,” Abby said softly to Maria, pointing at Vickie.

“I know, sweetie,” Maria said, kissing her on the forehead quickly before walking past Vickie out to the living room.

Kyle was leaned against the wall by the front door, giving Maria an apologetic look.

“Why is she here?” Vickie asked, pointing at Maria.

“Why do you think? She lives here,” Kyle said sharply, while trying to keep his voice low.

“I don’t want her in my house. You should have heard what she said to me, Kyle,” Vickie said, putting a hand on her hip.

“This isn’t your house any more,” Maria said glaring at Vickie.

“It is my house, and I want you out of it,” Vickie took a step toward her threateningly.

Maria tried to remain calm. Tried to remember that Abby was in the house. She couldn’t blow up like she had when Vickie had called the summer before. If only they had been able to afford for Kyle to divorce her, but they’d had to give up after the legal separation.

“Vickie, you’re not staying here. That is ridiculous. Go stay with your parents, you can see Abby tomorrow,” Kyle said, obviously trying to keep his temper under control.

“If I leave here tonight, she’s coming with me,” Vickie said haughtily.

Kyle rolled his eyes, “Come on, don’t be stupid-.”

“Don’t be stupid?” Vickie laughed. “I’ve talked to an attorney, I have rights. Now, I’m going to call the cops if you don’t get her out of my house.”

Maria laughed, and Kyle did too. They both stopped when Vickie walked over to the phone.

Moving quickly, Maria grabbed her coat and slipped on her sneakers, then looked at Kyle, “I’ll stay with Liz.”

“Ok,” he said softly, as his wife started to smile triumphantly. “I’ll hire someone tomorrow and get this over with.”

She nodded and ran to her room to throw some clothes into an overnight bag, then walked back out and started to open the door, but Kyle stopped her, putting his hand on her arm, “I’m sorry Maria.”

“No,” she smiled at him, “it’s not your fault, I’ll be fine. I think this is the easiest way.”

Trying hard to keep the smile on her face, she slipped into the hall and stomped down the steps. When she opened the door of the building, she sucked in a breath sharply. There he was, sitting on her steps, looking at her.

***

Michael heard the door of the building opening and turned around. It was Maria. She seemed surprised to see him. The uniform was gone, and had been replaced by light blue jeans and a navy blue cable knit sweater, and she was carrying a small duffle bag.

“Wh-what…?” she looked at him questioningly.

He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t really have a good reason for being there, so he shrugged.

“Ok…” she whispered, eyeing him skeptically as she made her way down the stairs and started to walk in the direction of the diner.

“Where are you going?” he asked, moving to her side.

“I-…what business is it of yours?” her tone was hostile.

“Why do you have a bag?” he asked, ignoring her.

“I’m going to stay with Liz tonight,” she said, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

“She’s with Max,” he said, wondering if she was lying to him.

Maria stopped dead in her tracks and looked up at him, “What?”

“They’re skiing. He said they’d be back by Wednesday because that’s when she has to work.”

“Great,” she said sarcastically brining a hand up to cover her eyes as she started walking again.

“You didn’t know.”

“ No.”

“What were you going to do, just show up on her door step?”

She looked up at him sharply, “Yes.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to go home,” he said, turning back in the direction of her building.

Instead of moving with him, she turned and kept walking the other direction. He caught up with her again.

“I don’t need an escort,” she said as they passed the diner and came to a stop next to the bus stop sign.

“Where are you going?”

She shrugged and looked down at the ground.

“You can’t go home?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Shaking her head from side to side, he saw her chin quiver, “Well, I could try, in a couple of hours…”

Sighing, she started to walk back toward the diner.

“Want to get some coffee?” he called out to her when she was a few feet away.

Turning slowly, she looked at him, “No, I’ll just sit in there…” she gestured toward Murray’s.

“It’s just coffee,” he insisted. She was about to say ‘no’, he could see it on her face, so he spoke again, “Please?”

Her brow furrowed, and then she shrugged.

Not wanting to waste the moment, he walked toward her, grabbed her hand, and pulled her in the direction of his car.

***

She glanced over at him as he held the door of the café open for her. He seemed so self-possessed, and sure of himself, while she was a nervous wreck. Probably a sign of how little the sex meant to him. Of course, he was all she could think about and being around him made her feel awful, but he felt completely at ease in her company.

The place was smoky, two guys with guitars were singing into microphones in the corner, and the people seemed to move casually around the room from one table to another.

He grabbed her hand and led her to a small table in the corner.

“What is this place?” she asked quietly as she glanced around the room.

“It’s just a hang-out. I used to come here all the time,” he paused and took a look around the room. “I think I’m the oldest person in here.”

Maria couldn’t help but laugh, “When was the last time you were here?”

Shrugging, he looked back at her, “It’s been a couple of years.”

She grew serious again as she took off her coat and draped it over the back of her chair, and then rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. He watched her carefully, then took off his jacket and did the same.

A girl walked over to them and asked them what they wanted. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she asked, Maria would never have known she was a waitress, she was dressed just like the patrons.

“I’ll take a hot cocoa and…uh, do you have pastry?”

The girl nodded, smacking her gum, “Yeah, we’ve got cinnamon rolls and danish.”

“Ok, I’ll take a cinnamon roll,” Maria smiled slightly.

Next, the girl turned to Michael. He looked at her, “Coffee and two dishes of chocolate mousse.”

“Two?” the girl looked at him closely.

“Yeah,” he raised his eyebrows, obviously irritated at having to repeat himself, “two.”

Eyes widening, the waitress peered at him, “You’re not…oh my God, you are!”

“What?” his voice was surly.

“Are you Michael Guerin? They told me, Michael Guerin always orders-.”

“Yeah, I am,” he cut her off with a glare. “Think you could say it any louder?”

“Oh, yeah, ok. Sorry,” the girl said, glancing around. “I just have to tell you I love your work-.”

“Thanks,” Michael cut her off.

“That’ll be right out,” the waitress said softly as she turned away.

“Do you have to be so rude?” Maria glared at him.

“What?”

“ What?” she repeated incredulously.

“Yeah, what?” he sneered at her.

“That poor girl was just trying to pay you a compliment and you bit her head off. She was just being nice,” Maria tried to keep her voice from hissing.

“You wouldn’t understand,” he rolled his eyes.

“Understand what? That you’re an arrogant prick? Oh, I think I understand that pretty well.”

“What did I ever do to you?” his voice was low.

“Gee, I don’t know…” she let the sarcasm flow, and felt all of the emotions of the past few weeks bubble to the surface. “Maybe act like a jerk to me for almost two years, kiss me, f*ck me, stalk me, paint me, f*ck me-.”

“Stop it,” he growled, leaning forward menacingly.

“What are you gonna’ do? Huh?” she taunted him softly.

“Just shut up,” he whispered, staring at the table. Then, looking up at her, he said, “And, just for the record, if anybody got f*cked, it was me.”

“ What?!?” she hissed.

The waitress appeared with a tray, and unloaded their order onto the table.

Maria gave her a small smile, “Thank you.”

Smiling in return, the girl glanced once at Michael, then walked away.

Michael pointed a finger at her, “ You screwed me and left me, not once, but twice. I seem to be the only person in the world who cares about your safety, and-.”

Maria imitated his finger pointing, “ No one asked you to walk me home. Ever. And, so what if I left? It’s not like you care what I do-.”

“As usual,” he snarled, “ you have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“What am I doing here?” Maria asked herself out loud.

“Driving me nuts,” he said dryly, running a hand through his hair, then taking a sip of his coffee.

Watching him carefully, she took a drink of her cocoa. She was completely stumped. Finally, she’d let her feelings come out, and instead of being apologetic, he’d been angry with her. How had he managed to twist things?

“You don’t have to be nice to me just because I slept with you,” she said, keeping her voice even.

“Don’t worry, I’m not.”

“Then what is it? Why are we here?” she gestured around the room with her hand.

“You couldn’t go home.”

“I know, but-.”

“Last night, you were looking out for me, now I’m looking out for you,” he stated simply.

She shook her head, “I don’t need anyone to look out for me.”

He smiled slightly, but it wasn’t mocking, “Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t. You don’t need anybody, what makes you think I-.”

“Who says I don’t need anybody?” he sounded amused.

“Me,” she said, “it’s obvious, you don’t need anybody.”

Michael smirked and ate a spoonful of one of the dishes of mousse in front of him, “Eat your roll.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she retorted as she ate a bite.

He was still watching her, but he wasn’t angry anymore. She really wasn’t either.

“Why can’t you go home, Maria?”

Her eyes blinked quickly. He’d never said her name in normal conversation. Of course, he’d called to her using her name, and then in the throes of passion…

“My brother’s wife showed up out of the blue,” she said.

“She made you leave?” he asked around another spoonful of mousse.

“In a way…”

“This is the one who left her kid with you right after your brother’s accident?”

“Yeah,” she took another bite of her cinnamon roll and almost choked on it. “Wait! How did you know-.”

“I read it in a magazine,” his tone was overly serious.

She brought her hand to her head, “What else do you know about me?”

“I dunno’,” he shrugged. “So, she won’t let you stay? Your brother must be a real wimp-.”

“He’s not a wimp. She threatened to call the cops, so I said I would go.”

“But you had nowhere to go.”

“I thought I could go to Liz’s.”

“Don’t you have anyone else?”

“No.”

“Stay with me.”

Her breath caught for a moment, it would be better than spending the night out in the cold somewhere. She knew there was no way that she might be able to go home later, no matter what she’d told him.

“I-I…” she shook her head to clear it.

“ Maria? Maria Valenti?” a voice broke into their little world.

She looked up and got a shock.

“Doug?”

***

Michael glared at the blonde guy as he pulled Maria out of her seat and into a bear hug.

“How have you been? I heard about Kyle, and school – that sucked.”

“Oh, I’m fine, Doug,” she pulled out of his arms with a wary smile on her face. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” Doug smiled. “Be done with school in May, so I’m pretty happy about that.”

“That’s great,” Maria smiled politely.

“So, you’re lookin’ good,” Doug grazed her with a once over, “ are you seeing anybody?”

‘Am I sitting here?’ Michael thought, shooting daggers at the guy with his eyes.

“No,” Maria blushed and looked down, as he put his arm around her waist.

“Well, are you doing anything tonight? We could catch up on old times…”

“Oh, Doug, really,” Maria shook her head, “I-.”

“Come on, sweetheart,” Doug said, then had the nerve to wink down at him, “you haven’t seen my new place…we could finally have that sleep over-.”

“That’s it,” Michael muttered, standing and looking down at him. “Hands off.”

“Easy there, cave man,” Doug looked up at him. “We’re old friends.”

Maria was staring at him angrily, but took advantage of Doug’s distraction and backed out of his reach.

“Get lost,” Michael growled.

“I don’t think so,” Doug retorted. “Trust me, I know her much better than you do.”

Maria reached out and put a hand on his arm just as he was raising it and whispered, “Michael…”

“What kind of guy are you mixed up with here, Maria?” Doug looked over at her.

“Doug, I’ll see you around,” Maria said, tugging on Michael’s arm, trying to get him to sit again.

Doug reached his hand out toward her, and Michael knocked it aside. He couldn’t stand to see the man’s hands on her again. He couldn’t stand to see any man’s hands on her. Every inch of her body was claimed.

Now Maria’s hand was tugging him away from the table, and in the direction of the door. He reached into his pocket and took out a twenty which he tossed onto the table. Giving Doug one last glare, he let her pull him out the door.

“What were you doing?” she asked angrily as she kept a tight grip on his arm, moving him towards his SUV.

“Nothing.”

“You have no right to-.”

He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her body against his as he looked down into her eyes, “He touched you.”

She seemed very nervous about their proximity, and was pulling backwards gently, her voice was soft, all anger gone, “So?”

His lips crushed down against hers, and he felt her respond to him eagerly. Her hands moving up to wrap around his neck, her fingers sending shivers down his spine with their feather light touches. She pressed herself to him, and he pulled her tighter, his hands open on her back.

Pulling back after a few seconds, he looked down at her. Her eyes were heavily lidded, and she was staring at him… that look.

“Maria…” he whispered as he brought his hand up to cup the back of her neck.

At the sound of her name on his lips, she stiffened, and blinked, looking away from him, “I have to get home.”

“You can’t go home,” he said, squeezing her tighter when she started to move away.

“Well, I’ll think of something,” she said, placing her palms on his chest and pushing firmly.

Reluctantly, he let her back up slightly, “Just stay with me.”

She shook her head violently, “Oh no. Not after-.”

“Look, I don’t mean that. I have a spare bedroom. Actually, I have three spare bedrooms. Stay with me.”

Eyeing him suspiciously, she sighed, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he said, walking to the car, “come on.”

***

Maria followed him up the first flight of stairs, and then up the second. She tried not to look over the railing into the room below, the floor was a long way down.

“Here,” he said, flicking on the light of the room and gesturing to the bed. “The bathroom’s right there,” he said pointing to a door in the corner of the room.

“Thanks,” she whispered as she threw her bag down on the bed.

“Yeah, well, I guess you know where to find me if you need anything,” his stare was intense, as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Ok, thanks.”

Nodding, he walked out of the room, and she heard his feet on the stairs. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her bag and headed for the bathroom to shower.

His presence was so strong it seemed to permeate every inch of the house. She could feel him, smell him, almost taste him. This was not a good idea, his house was the last place she should be. Trying not to think about the incident with Doug earlier, she stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over her. Why had he blown up at Doug like that? No, no, she wasn’t going to think about it.

When she came out of the bathroom, she realized how stupid she must look in her t-shirt and sweats. Women were supposed to sleep in satiny, lacy things. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirrors on the closet doors, her hair scraggly and dripping, her clothes old and worn. For a moment, she thought about his other women, the ones who were usually here. Isabel…now there was someone who never slept in sweats, anyone could tell that with one glance.

Sighing, she stepped out of the door and glanced down into the main room. It was mostly dark, and she couldn’t see him anywhere. He must be in bed. Cautiously, she moved away from the edge and made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Part of her thought she should ask him for permission to get something to drink, but then she remembered that he’d told her to make herself at home the last time. Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed a bottle of water and opened it, taking a long drink before turning to walk back to the stairs. That was when she spotted him. He was watching her from his studio area, paintbrush in hand. She’d met his eyes, so there wasn’t any way to avoid him.

“You said to make myself at home,” she said just loudly enough for him to hear across the distance.

He nodded, still watching her closely.

Feeling self-conscious, she crossed her arms over her chest and walked quickly over to him, hoping that she could just tell him good night and run up to her bedroom.

His eyes were traveling up and down her body, and the closer she got to him the stupider she felt, “I-I normally just wear sweats to bed…”

“Me too,” his voice was even as he continued to look at her.

“I’m just gonna’ go,” she jerked her thumb upwards.

“Maria.”

At the sound of her name, she jerked her eyes up to his. Why did he have to say her name?

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he glanced away from her for a moment. The hand with the paintbrush dropped to his side, and for some reason, she glanced at the canvas he’d been painting.

“Alex and Isabel,” she murmured, taking a step toward it. It was a close-up image of the couple dancing to the left of the canvas, Isabel in her beautiful white dress and Alex in his tux. They were holding each other close, but turned to stare at one another. Somehow he’d captured their love, that look that they had for one another. Closing her eyes, she remembered watching them on the dance floor – they’d been magical. The rest of the canvas wasn’t finished, there were a few dark lines reaching out from the couple to the white space on their right.

He had stepped up behind her, she could feel him, they were practically touching.

“Beautiful,” she whispered as she held her hand out toward the image without actually touching it.

“That’s what you said,” his breath was hot as his voice sounded next to her ear. She tried not to shiver.

“What I said?”

“That night,” his arm reached around her and his fingers spread next to her outstretched hand. “It’s what you said when you saw them dancing, you said, ‘Beautiful’.”

“They were beautiful,” she swallowed, “they are beautiful.”

She could feel him nodding, she didn’t need to turn to see it.

“Do you like it?” his tone was soft, almost timid.

Turning to look at him, she gasped when she came nearly nose to nose with him. His eyes were boring into her own.

“Yes, I like it. It’s…beautiful,” she had to fight the urge to reach up and touch his cheek. He looked so… beautiful.

“I have to go to bed,” she stated as she quickly ducked away from him and practically ran for the stairs.

***

Michael leaned down and nudged her shoulder.

“Hmmm…” she moaned as she rolled over.

“Maria.”

“Huh?” she opened one eye and looked at him.

“Uh, it’s 6:30. Don’t you have to get ready for work?”

“No,” she mumbled as she hugged her pillow.

“You have to be at work at 7,” he insisted, pulling the pillow away.

“No, I don’t,” she said, half sitting up. “Don’t have to work ‘til 9.”

He tried to hide a smile as he saw her wild hair, “Ok, if you say so.”

“Yeah,” she laid back down. “Back to sleep.”

Michael put the pillow back into her arms and then went downstairs to get his sketchbooks. Climbing the two flights of stairs quickly, he sat on the still made side of the bed and started to outline her sleeping form.

***

Maria put the phone back on the hook and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God for Tess. She’d steered Kyle toward an attorney who’d made short work of the legal implications of Vickie’s return. Because of the separation, and the fact that Vickie had vacated their apartment almost two years before, Kyle didn’t have to let her stay there. The attorney also said that she saw cases of absentee parents returning regularly around the holidays, and that they usually gave up and left again.

Pushing open the door to the dining room, the smile on her face faltered for a moment when she saw him.

“Hey,” she said as she handed him a soda.

“Hey,” he looked at her and raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Maria?” a female voice interrupted them.

She turned to see the new girl walking toward her, “Yeah?”

“I thought this was my section of the counter now,” the blonde pointed directly at Michael.

Maria looked down at him. His brow was furrowed and he was staring at her.

“Oh, well, it’s ok, I’ve got it,” she brushed the new girl off with a wave of her hand.

“No way,” the girl smiled down at Michael, “Mikey G. and I are old friends. I should wait on him.”

“Really, I’ve got it. Besides, you don’t know what he wants,” Maria was getting irritated.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want, Mikey G.,” the girl said suggestively with a wink.

“They need you in the kitchen,” Maria pointed sharply to the back and gave her a look.

“Ok, keep the big tippers to yourself then,” the blonde said with a pout as she walked away.

“Yeah, ‘no-tip’, the big tipper,” she muttered sarcastically as she watched the girl go.

“Not my fault you won’t take my tips.”

She looked down at him. He was glaring at her.

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes.

“Right,” he snorted, throwing some money on the counter as he jumped to his feet and walked out.

Maria stared after him slightly stunned. She glanced at the clock above the door, 3:30, only half an hour to go. Plenty of time to think about Michael and his weirdness after work.

***

Michael opened the door and was greeted with a smile by the new girl. He sat down at the counter, and she came over to him.

“Half a cup of coffee again?” she teased.

“Fine,” he said, glancing at the clock above the door. She was probably in the back putting her coat on, it was two minutes ‘til 9.

He drank the coffee in silence, ignoring the new waitress as she threw him occasional glances. Before he knew it, his cup was empty, and he glanced up at the clock, three minutes after 9. Normally she got right out on the dot, sometimes even a little early.

“Want a refill?” the blonde asked as she walked up to him, coffee pot in hand.

“No.”

“So, should I assume you’re here for the pleasure of my company?” she asked with another big smile.

“Where is Maria?” he asked, getting to his feet, intending to go in the back to get her.

“Maria’s long gone.”

“ What?”

The girl seemed surprised by his tone, “Well, her shift got over at 4, so…”

He threw a dollar bill onto the counter and stormed out of the diner. Gone. Her shift was over at 4. Since when was her shift over at 4? Maybe that was why she hadn’t gone to work until 9. Without a conscious thought, his feet carried him in the direction of her building. At the bottom of her steps, he paused for a moment, then stomped up and rang the buzzer for her apartment, the name ‘Valenti’ written on a yellowed card under the button.

“Yeah?” a man’s voice crackled over the speaker.

“I’m here to see Maria,” he said.

“Ok,” the voice answered, and he heard a buzzing click as the front lock was released.

Throwing the door open, he ran up the stairs and stopped when he got to her apartment number. Balling his fingers into a fist, he pounded on the door twice. There was no answer, and he had just raised his hand to knock again when the door opened. She was standing in front of him, wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt, her hair wet – it reminded him of the way she’d looked the night before.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed, glancing quickly over her shoulder before stepping out into the hall and pulling the door closed behind her.

“What do you think?”

“I have no idea,” she whispered haughtily. “Now, please keep your voice down-.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you wouldn’t be there?” his voice was low, but he didn’t attempt to filter the anger he felt.

“What are you talking about? I don’t have to tell you-.”

“You knew I’d be there. Waiting. How could you just-.”

He cut himself off when she raised her hands to cover her face.

“Maria?” he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

Her hands slid down her face to reveal that she was crying, “I don’t get it. Why do you have to…” she swallowed hard and looked at him, directly in the eyes, “I don’t understand…and you painted Alex and Isabel,” she was sobbing now, “when he said-…and, then Doug…I don’t need this. It’s too confusing, and I know I don’t matter- so, well, just don’t…”

Bending slightly at the waist, he tried to get a good look at her eyes, she was babbling nonsensically, and he was beginning to question her sanity, “Are you all right?”

She looked at the floor and shook her head slowly from side to side, then quickly opened the door and started to slip through it.

“Wait, wait,” he reached out and grabbed her arm.

She looked down at his hand and took a deep breath, obviously trying to get a grip on her emotions. He’d known she had a lot going on, but this was…well, overwhelming. There was the stuff with her brother, and now clearly she was working less…It was all confusing, and of course, he had no clue what to do or say. She was so impossible to read. Her eyes were closed, and the tears were coursing silently down her cheeks, but she was allowing him to hold her in place. Slowly, he released his grip on her arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said softly.

For a moment, she looked at him, then she closed the door.

 

 

 

“No, I didn’t forget.”

“…well, I just wanted to make sure,” Tess’s voice crackled over the line.

“You made sure last night. I repeat – I.Did.Not.Forget.”

“Ok, ok. So you’ll be on your best behavior?”

“ Yes…you know this is getting insulting.”

“Michael, I just want them to like you.”

“What’s that? You’re breaking up…you need to get a new cell phone…” he blew into the receiver for effect.

“I know what you’re doing! You better be good-.”

“Sorry, Tess, can’t hear a word, I’m hanging up now.”

He smiled and clicked off the phone. It rang again two seconds later.

“Yes?”

“You will be there, right?”

“ Yes.”

“Ok…and, you’ll at least make an effort…”

“Yes, Tess. I won’t do anything to embarrass you.”

“That’s not what I meant-.”

“Won’t do anything to embarrass myself either.”

“All right…you know I love ya’, Michael.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Ok, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Later,” he said as he clicked off the phone again.

Turning back to the canvas he’d been working on, he flexed his fingers and took a deep breath. Just as he was lifting his brush there was a knock at the door.

“ F*ck, what now?” he muttered as he threw down the brush and started walking toward the door.

He pulled it open and was greeted by…Liz?

“Liz?”

“Hi, Michael,” she raised her hand slightly in a wave and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Hello.”

He was baffled, she wasn’t even in her work uniform, what did she want?

“Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?” she asked, smiling at him hesitantly.

“Ooookay…” he stepped aside so that she could walk in the door, wiping the paint on his hands onto his t-shirt.

She walked into the main room and sat in the middle of the sofa, clasping her hands in her lap and smiling.

“So…what do you want?” he asked sitting down in his arm chair.

“Well,” her smile got bigger, “I want to throw a surprise party for Max-.”

“For what?”

“For his birthday.”

“His birthday’s years away.”

“It’s only a month,” she giggled.

“Right, years.”

“Ok, just trust me that’s not very far away, Michael. Anyway, I’ve already talked to his mom and his sister, and they gave me a guest list, but…” she paused and took a deep breath, “well, I know he’s still friends with…Tess…and I feel like I should invite her. I was a little nervous about asking Diane or Isabel – and they didn’t put her on the list, so I thought I’d ask you.”

“Ask me what?”

“If I should invite her.”

“Tess?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if you want to invite her, invite her. What do I know about it?”

“You know them both,” she insisted. “I don’t want her to feel left out, but on the other hand if she’ll be hostile-.”

“Oh, this is stupid. Just invite her, she’s an adult, it’s not like she’s going to dump the punch bowl on your head. If she doesn’t want to come, she won’t.”

Liz laughed nervously, “Yeah…ok.”

“Ok,” he stood quickly, ready to see her out the door.

She smiled slightly and stood, then pulled a small white envelope out of her purse and held it out to him. He took it from her, and looked it over.

“It’s the invitation,” she said.

“Oh, right. Uh, so when is the party?”

“March 2nd, his birthday,” she giggled.

“Right…” he scratched his head.

“Um, I’m going to take off then,” Liz started to walk toward the door. “See you later, Michael.”

“Yeah,” he said, standing by the door as she walked out of the building.

***

Maria gave him a once over as she walked out of the diner. Slacks, khaki slacks. He even had on shiny black leather boot-type shoes. She could just see the collar of an army green shirt peaking out of his jacket. What was he all dressed up for? Well, for him it was dressed up. His hair was even neatly groomed.

At the foot of the steps of her building she glanced at him and gave him the usual ‘almost smile’ and he responded with an ‘almost nod’. Things between them had consisted of nothing more than that for the entire month since Christmas. For a while she’d thought maybe they’d start talking, but then she’d completely ruined that by freaking him out with her blubber-fest. Oh, well, it didn’t really matter – she had to go get ready.

“I’m home,” she called as she walked in the door.

“Auntie Maria!” Abby cried as she came running out of her room and into Maria’s arms.

“Hey kiddo,” Maria gave her niece a smacking kiss on the cheek and a big hug.

“Want to go play,” Abby said, squirming to be let go.

“All right, off you go,” Maria smiled at her, “I’ve got to get ready.”

Grinning, Maria watched Abby skip back down the hall toward her bedroom, then walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of juice.

“Hey,” Kyle said, looking up momentarily from the cake he was frosting.

“Uh, hey,” she laughed slightly.

“All right,” he smirked, “let me have it.”

“No, no. I mean you make cakes everyday, nothing unusual to laugh at there,” she teased.

“Well, I didn’t think she’d make herself a cake, so…” he shrugged, and then broke into a dopey grin.

Maria grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and punched him on the shoulder on her way to the refrigerator, “Well, next time I need a cake I’ll know who to call. What’s your name again? Martha Stewart?”

They laughed as he finished up with the cake and she drank her juice. When they’d both stopped he glanced over at her warily, “It’s good to hear you laugh, kid.”

She swallowed hard and then put a smile on her face as she took her last gulp of juice, “I could say the same about you.”

He nodded, but still watched her out of the corner of his eye. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the concern, she did, but it was totally unnecessary – she wasn’t the one with real problems.

“I’m gonna’ go take a quick shower and get dressed,” she said, placing her glass in the sink on her way out of the room.

“Ok,” he called after her, “we need to leave in about forty-five minutes.”

“All right,” she called back.

The shower was just the refresher she needed, and as she dried off afterwards she took a long hard look at herself in the mirror. She knew Tess was inviting other friends, and she wondered what they’d think of her. They probably wouldn’t think anything. Hopefully she’d just fade into the background. If Kyle hadn’t made it clear that Tess really wanted her there, she would never have agreed. But if it made Kyle and Tess happy she could do it. Of course she had a feeling that her brother was only so insistent because he thought she didn’t have a social life. It had been a major topic of conversation over the past few weeks.

Dressing quickly, and throwing on her makeup basics, she played with her hair debating how to wear it. She could put it up, but then she’d be worried about checking on it all night. Or she could wear it down, but she didn’t have time to curl is nicely. An idea occurred, and she quickly pulled it into two braids that she left dangling over her shoulders. There, if she looked young enough they wouldn’t bother her with questions about her life plans…she’d just pass as a student, because in less than two months she would be one again.

There was a brisk knock on the bathroom door, and Kyle’s voice sounded concerned, “Uh, Maria, I’m gonna’ run Abby over to Serena’s. Now, you do know we need to leave in a few minutes, right?”

“Yes, Kyle, I know.”

She quickly pulled on her black opaque tights and took one last glance in the mirror. Gray sweater over white blouse, black wool skirt, black tights…well, it wasn’t the way she used to dress, but at least this was basic enough to be in fashion. Opening the door quickly, she breathed in the cooler air of the hallway then walked to the front door.

***

“Hey.”

“Michael!” Tess squealed as she threw her arms around his neck.

“Happy Birthday,” he said as he pulled quickly out of the hug and slipped past her through the door.

“Thanks,” she said, as she walked down the hall toward her bedroom.

“So, do you want your present?” he asked as he took off his jacket and sat on the sofa, looking down at the wrapped package in his hands.

“Yeah,” she called out to him, “be out in a minute.”

Tess walked out a few seconds later still attaching one of her earrings.

“Here,” he said holding it up to her as she went by.

“Thank you,” she sing-songed as she took it from him, then went into the kitchen. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No thanks,” he called.

He heard the paper tearing, then a gasp, then another gasp, then the sound of Tess running back out to the living room.

“M-Michael…do you know what this is?” she held the book up for him to see.

“Yeah. It’s a first edition of-.”

“I know what it is. You know what it is?” her eyes widened in amazement.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you – I mean, of course I know what it is, I bought it.”

Suddenly, she launched herself at him, giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek, “ Thank you!”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, patting her back awkwardly.

She pulled back and pinched his cheek, then suddenly put her hand up to her hair, “Is my hair messed up?”

“I don’t know, what did it look like before?”

Grinning while she rolled her eyes she started to walk toward the bedroom again when the doorbell sounded, “Oh, no, Michael – that’s them can you get it while I check my hair?”

“Yeah,” he said getting up and walking to the door.

Flipping the deadbolt, he pulled the door open.

What on earth was she doing there?

“Uh, hi, I’m Kyle.”

Michael barely caught sight of the guy on crutches extending his hand. Prying his eyes away from Maria’s face for a moment he managed to shake hands, absently saying, “Guerin.”

“Oh, ok,” Kyle’s tone was skeptical as he looked back and forth between Michael and his sister. “Uh, this is my sister, Maria…”

“Yeah,” Michael whispered, still staring at Maria. Her hair was in braids and she was wearing a skirt, with those pouty red lips parted in an ‘o’ of surprise. He felt his blood rush and tried not to salivate, she looked-.

“ Michael!” Tess sounded out of breath as she came to the door. “You’re supposed to invite them in!”

Smiling at the pair in the hallway Tess made a beckoning motion.

“So, Happy Birthday,” Kyle said to Tess as he moved into the room. Gesturing at the box in his sister’s hands, he smiled, “I, uh, made you something.”

“Oh, it smells good,” Tess laughed as she reached out and took it from Maria, then walked into the kitchen.

Michael was watching Maria’s face as she tried to keep her eyes on the far wall, then suddenly she shook her head as if coming to her senses and called out, “Sorry, Tess…um, Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you, Maria,” Tess walked back into the room and gave Kyle another big grin clapping her hands and looking almost teary eyed. “Kyle, I don’t think anyone has ever baked me a birthday cake before, thank you so much.”

“Sure,” Kyle smiled back at her.

Michael tried to swallow.

Tess put a hand to her forehead, “Oh, where are my manners, did Michael introduce himself?”

“Yeah…” Kyle furrowed his brow and glanced over at Michael.

Michael tried to smile, but knew it came out as a grimace from Tess’s cringe.

“Well,” Tess put on her biggest smile to try to cover up for him, “my friend Rachel couldn’t make it, which means we’re all here…so I suppose we could be on our way?”

Michael nodded, and watched as Maria took a deep breath and tried to smile.

Tess pinched him hard on the arm as she walked toward the door with her smile firmly on her face.

***

Oh, it would figure they’d take his car. She should have known something like this would happen, it was as if fate was conspiring against-.

“Maria, why don’t you ride in the front, and I’ll ride in the back with Kyle?” Tess’s voice was cheery.

“Sure,” Maria managed a smile, not wanting to be a downer on Tess’s birthday.

When they were all in the car and on their way the small talk began. Maria tried to concentrate on looking straight ahead and not at Michael. She knew Kyle was wondering what was going on, but she really didn’t want to have to answer any questions.

“I’m so glad we’re just a group of four, makes it so much easier for conversation,” Tess said, sounding like a cruise director.

“Well, with my sister in the group conversation is never a problem,” Kyle said in a joking tone.

Tess and Kyle both laughed lightly, then the awkward silence descended again.

“So Maria, you’re starting school again soon?” Tess asked.

The car jerked as Michael ran over a curb while making a right turn. Maria saw him glance in her direction.

“Sorry,” he muttered under his breath.

Tess laughed nervously.

“Yes, Tess, I’m starting at the end of March,” she said trying to keep her tone light.

“Kyle says you’re going to quit your job?” Tess continued the conversation.

Suddenly they were coming to a screeching halt. Maria had to put her hands out to brace herself as she watched the light turn red. They could have made it through, he hadn’t needed to stop. He was glaring at her.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” she breathed sarcastically as she took her bracing hand off the dash and sat back in her seat.

“Do you?” he spat back.

“ Maria.”

“ Michael.”

Kyle and Tess both chided softly at once.

They rode the rest of the way to the restaurant in absolute silence.

***

Michael was trying to stay upbeat for Tess, but it was getting difficult. Well, he hadn’t actually spoken since the car, but still…

They were seated at a booth, and naturally Tess and Kyle slid into the booth first – facing each other.

He slid in next to Tess as Maria sat next to Kyle.

Quitting her job?

Tess took a deep breath after the waiter had taken their orders. Oh great, more ‘conversation’.

“Did you know that you three are practically neighbors?” she laughed.

“Really?” Kyle gave him a polite smile.

Michael looked at Maria and caught her staring at him. This was ridiculous, they were bound to find out, they’d just look stupider if they didn’t say anything.

“Actually, I knew that,” he said.

“Oh?” Tess looked over at him curiously.

Maria licked her lips, “I work in the diner across the street from his place.”

“So, you two know each other…?” Kyle glanced back and forth between them narrowing his eyes.

They both nodded.

“ That diner?” Tess asked softly.

Oh sh*t.

Michael looked over at his friend. She was still wearing her polite smile. He knew that she wasn’t good with names - she thought Maria was Liz.

“Are you seeing anyone Maria?” Tess asked a little too happily.

Maria sucked in a deep breath and looked away, “No…”

“W-,” Michael started to speak, he had to clear up Tess’s confusion.

“Wait,” Kyle broke in, he’d never stopped studying them, “If you knew each other, why didn’t you- oof!”

Michael just caught Maria’s elbow making contact with her brother’s ribs.

“You two know each other…” Tess let out another fake laugh. “Have you met any of Michael’s friends, Maria?”

“Just his friend Max and, well, Max’s family,” Maria said softly.

Kyle glared at Michael suspiciously.

Tess choked on her cola.

Michael turned to her, “Are you all right?”

Nodding quickly, Tess took another drink.

“Sure you’re ok?” Kyle asked.

She continued nodding while drinking.

“You’ve met his friends?” Kyle looked back from Tess to Maria.

“Maria’s friend ‘ Liz’ is dating Max,” Michael stated quickly.

Tess let out a sigh.

Kyle looked up with relief.

“Oh, so that’s how you know one another,” Kyle laughed slightly, “I thought you were dating or something.”

Tess joined Kyle in the relieved laughter. Maria tried to laugh as well, but sounded like she was having trouble breathing.

Their food came, and Michael and Maria somehow managed to avoid speaking. Michael had a feeling that Kyle and Tess had decided to have a good time no matter what, they were currently engrossed in a conversation about their families.

“…and, you know they just had their fourth. Four. Four kids in five years. Can you imagine? His wife is my age for crying out loud! Really, I hardly recognize the man as my father anymore. He’s this completely different person,” Tess giggled, “who obviously doesn’t believe in birth control.”

For some reason he noticed Maria sit up a little straighter and he glanced over at her. Her eyes were narrowed, and she appeared to be staring at the salt shaker. She looked like she was in pain.

Kyle laughed, “Well, I suppose when you’re in love…”

“I suppose,” Tess smiled. “Really, though, spending Christmas with them was so difficult. They’re nice to me, but I feel like I’m intruding.”

Michael watched as Maria looked down at her hands in her lap. Leaning forward slightly, he could see that she was counting on her fingers.

“Tell me about it. I had to spend Christmas with my ex in-laws,” Kyle shook his head slightly.

He caught Maria stealing furtive glances at him. She hadn’t eaten a bite since she got the ‘painful’ look. Finally, he caught her eyes, and she did a good ‘deer in the headlights’ imitation. What had her so freaked out?

“Oh, Kyle you’re a saint,” Tess laughed. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t complain. After all, I only spent Christmas with them to avoid a social event.”

Michael caught Maria’s eyes again and he knew. Christmas. Was this the first time it had even occurred to her? He’d just assumed she was on something, because she hadn’t stopped him…

For the millionth time since he’d met her, he wished he had a clue what was going on inside her head. At the moment, she only looked frightened, not angry. Frightened not angry.

“What social event?” Kyle asked Tess with a laugh. “You never mentioned you went to avoid a social event.

She was staring down at her plate, she wouldn’t risk meeting his eyes. So, she didn’t want him to know. But she didn’t know that he already knew. A knot was starting to form in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what it was, but for some reason it was making him want to feel her skin under his fingers.

“It’s silly really, just an event where I might have run into my ex and his family,” Tess cleared her throat and then glanced at Michael and Maria.

Michael watched as Kyle touched Maria’s arm, “Are you ok?”

“Oh, yeah,” her voice was shaky as she looked at her brother with a small smile.

Tess nudged him, and Michael looked down at her. The same question was written on her face. He tried to give her a smile. It’s her birthday, don’t freak her out, act normal…

***

Maria tried to keep herself together as they rode back to Tess’s apartment.

It was probably a false alarm. A week wasn’t that long, and she’d never been someone to set a clock by. Bile rose in her throat. She tried not to look at Michael who was constantly looking at her, tried not to think about it. The only thing she knew was that to refuse to believe it would mean certain doom. Every time in her life she’d refused to believe something it turned out to be true. Her parent’s accident, Kyle’s…

They all trooped up to Tess’s apartment, Kyle and Tess trying desperately to keep things light in spite of the obvious friction between her and Michael. Maria felt badly, she really did. This wasn’t how you behaved on someone else’s birthday. Even if you just realized you might be-.

“Maria?” Kyle asked, looking at her seriously. His eyes told that he knew something was up, “Do you think you could cut the cake, I would, but…”

She watched him raise one of his crutches. Of course, she should have offered to do it, he shouldn’t have to ask her. Glancing over at Tess and Michael she saw them watching her as well. Michael’s gaze was piercing, and she wondered what he was thinking. Wondered what he would think if this wasn’t a false alarm…

“Uh, of course,” she smiled, “I’ll get right to it.”

“I’ll help you,” Michael piped up, and before she had a chance to say anything he’d walked into the kitchen ahead of her.

Laughter from the other room told that Tess and Kyle were still trying to enjoy themselves as she looked around the kitchen wondering where she would find the serving utensils.

“Do you know where everything is?” she asked Michael as she removed the cake from the plastic container.

“No,” he said as he leaned against the counter next to her, crossing his arms and staring at her until she felt the blood rising to her cheeks.

He knew something was wrong, she could tell. More than just her usual discomfort around him, he knew there was something more. She wondered how it was even possible.

“Michael…” she whispered as she stared down at the cake. What was she doing? She couldn’t tell him. He’d never understand, he’d probably laugh at her.

His breath caught, and his voice was as low as hers, “Yeah?”

Her hands started to shake and she removed them from the plastic container and pressed them down flat on the countertop, to still them, “I-I think…I think…”

Shut up, Maria. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

“What?” his voice was barely a whisper as his eyes bored into her.

She picked up the small box of candles Kyle had brought and opened it pulling them out and placing them in the cake in a circle, “Uh, I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but…there might be a chance that…well, I’m not trying to freak you out. Or, you know make you feel obligated…” her voice trailed off as she tried to keep control of her emotions.

“Yeah…?”

“I just realized that I’m late.”

Suddenly Tess’s voice filled the kitchen, “Hey, guys, Kyle said you might need matches, They’re in the cupboard to the right of the sink.”

She smiled at them, then walked away.

Maria walked quickly to the cupboard with the matches, wishing she’d never said anything to him. Wishing he didn’t understand her. Wishing he understood.

“Can you get away after you get home?” he asked softly as she walked back to light the candles. His voice was smooth and low, almost soothing.

Her hands started to shake again, “Yeah, I guess…”

He took the matches from her gently and she ventured a glance up at him. His look had softened slightly. Oh no, he was trying to be nice. She didn’t know how to handle it. Stepping back slightly, she watched him light all of the candles, then he lifted the cake and walked out into the main room.

***

Michael watched her as she pushed the cake around with her fork. She’d broken up her piece and pretended to eat, but he knew she’d barely taken a bite. Tess and Kyle were laughing about things that had happened while they were in school, and since he’d been there at the same time they kept trying to pull him into the conversation. He hadn’t known Tess until their last year, and he was getting tired of their stupid anecdotes about things he didn’t know…Or maybe he was just thinking about Maria.

“Well, I gotta’ run,” he said, picking up his plate and walking it into the kitchen.

She’d told him. At the restaurant he’d been afraid she wouldn’t, afraid she’d hide it, but she’d told him. For some reason he’d wanted to kiss her until she was breathless the moment the words came out of her mouth.

“You’re leaving?” Tess asked as if she was disappointed, but he knew she was relieved.

“Yeah,” he said with a slight eyebrow raise as he walked back into the room.

Maria glanced up at him for a moment with her ‘terrified, but hiding it’ expression, “Uh, I need to see Liz tonight, could you drop me off at the diner?”

He nodded.

“Wait, Maria,” Kyle spoke up looking at his sister with concern. “I can call us a cab and drop you off at the diner.”

“No, no,” she shook her head and tried to smile at her brother, “I know you’re not ready to leave yet.”

Kyle was about to speak again when Michael cut him off, “It’s no big deal, it’s just across the street from my place.”

For a moment Kyle glared at him, then seemed to think better of it and looked back at Maria. Her brother knew something was up, but obviously didn’t know what or how to handle it…Michael figured the guy had to be used to it, Maria was the most confusing person he’d ever met.

They managed to leave with little fanfare, and as they walked to his car he thought briefly of how sorry he was that they’d ruined Tess’s evening.

She sat in the front passenger seat, huddled against the door, with her cheek laid on the window. He glanced over at her occasionally and thought she looked small…and alone…and scared. Of course, she was upset…it really wasn’t fair for her…

“Uh, where do you think we should go? Like a super market, or a drug store…?” he looked in her direction as he asked and saw her close her eyes tightly.

“I don’t really know,” her voice was soft. “Maybe a drug store would be best.”

He nodded and tried to concentrate on driving, and not the scared girl in the seat next to him, “Ok, a drug store.”

“Do you just walk in and buy one?” she asked, as she slipped off her shoes and brought her feet up onto the seat, hugging her knees. For some reason it made him remember what it felt like to have her curled up against him as she slept.

“I guess…” he didn’t know.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?” her voice was muffled because her face was turned completely away from him as she stared out the window.

“Why would I freak out?”

He didn’t see her shrug, but he heard it, “Just thought you would. Probably shouldn’t have told you. I can handle it on my own.”

“No, you definitely should have told me,” he stated firmly.

She glanced over at him, “I cannot figure you out.”

“Ditto,” he whispered as he pulled into a parking space at the drug store.

Hopping out of his side, he quickly walked around to her door. She had just stepped onto the ground and looked up at him, “What?”

He shrugged and she shook her head slightly, then they walked into the store side by side. Immediately, Michael started to scan the aisle signs.

“Um, maybe that one?” he pointed at an aisle with a list that included ‘feminine products’.

Maria looked where he pointed and started walking toward the aisle. He followed her.

The selection was wide, and he had no idea where to begin.

She reached out to take the box with the cheapest price listed below it.

“This might not be the time to go cheap,” he said.

Taking her hand away, she scrunched her face up slightly, and he could hear her muttering under her breath, “ I can handle this, this is no big deal. No big deal. I can handle this. I can handle anything…”

She was staring at all of the boxes and he could see that she didn’t know what to do. Without stopping to think about it, he reached out and started grabbing. When he had eight in his hands he said, “Let’s go.”

Her eyes met his, she was trying to be brave, and she told him what she’d been telling herself, “I can handle anything.”

“Ok,” he said, looking down at her, wondering if she was on the verge of a breakdown.

“I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody. Whatever happens, I can handle it,” she said almost angrily, clenching her little hands into fists at her sides.

“Ok…” he grimaced and looked down at the boxes in his arms, trying not to drop any, hoping she’d get the hint and start walking in the direction of the cash registers. He knew she’d feel better once they knew one way or the other.

“You know, I basically raised my niece for a year. I could do it.”

She was starting to scare him, and he swallowed hard, maybe she needed some hope that it might not be true, “Look, there’s no reason to jump to concl-.”

“Don’t say that. In my life it’s always the worst case scenario. Why fool myself? Of course I’m single and pregnant at 22,” she let out a dry laugh. “It makes perfect sense. At least this time my problem is my own fault. I can handle it, I can deal.”

He stared at her not knowing what to say. Her chin was quivering. This was a completely inappropriate time to want to kiss her.

“Let’s go,” he said.

She took a deep breath, blinked back the tears he saw ready spill and walked toward the front of the store. He followed her.

Laying all of the tests down on the counter, he glared at the clerk who had an amused look on his face.

“Uh, is that everything?” the clerk asked.

“Yeah,” he said angrily, handing the guy his credit card.

He turned to look at her and caught her staring at him. She had picked up a magazine and was reading it. How had she gone from ‘freaked out’ to reading a magazine?

Under his gaze she closed the magazine and put it back on the rack. He just happened to glance at it as her hands fell back to her sides. A parenting magazine. With a picture of a man holding a baby on the front, and a caption that read, ‘What type of Dad will your man be?’

He had to roll his eyes. Naturally they’d walk into the aisle where that was on display. As if she wasn’t freaked out enough…

“Can I get your signature, please, Mr…uhh… Geerin?” the clerk held a receipt and a pen out to him, as he examined the name on the card closely.

Michael handed the signed receipt back to the clerk.

“ Guerin,” Maria corrected the man quietly as took the sack from his hands and started to turn away.

“Oh, sorry, Mrs. Guerin,” the clerk smiled at her without missing a beat.

The man’s words froze her, and her brow furrowed as if she had no comprehension of what he’d said.

“Come on,” Michael said softly, putting his hand on her back and guiding her in the direction of the doors.

She acted as if being mistaken for his wife was the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

***

Maria let him move her toward the car in silence. What was he thinking? Why wasn’t he worried? No matter how tough he was, even Michael had to be reacting to this.

She glanced at him as he started the car. He turned to look at her, his face unlined, his jaw not tense, only his eyes held intensity. Looking down at the bag in her hands she realized it wouldn’t be much longer. The truth would out.

It’s ok. It doesn’t mean the end of the world. Things could be worse.

The butterflies in her stomach danced as though their wings were made of lead. This was it. After everything, she herself would finally be putting the nails in the coffin of her former dreams. She was pregnant, no point in even hoping otherwise.

“I can handle this,” she whispered to herself, “I’ve dealt with worse. Kids are cool. I like kids.”

She knew he was watching her as closely as he possibly could while still navigating the vehicle. Thoughts of her own father drifted through her head. He was what a father should be. Strong, and happy, and there. How could someone from such a wonderful family get it so wrong? Well, she wasn’t the only one. She thought about Abby, and the fact that Vickie hadn’t shown up to take her last weekend. So Kyle sucked at picking mothers, and Maria sucked at picking fathers. But Abby was all right, maybe things could be better, but she was all right.

“I don’t need anybody,” she whispered, “I can do this on my own. It’ll be ok. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be ok.”

“You’re not.”

She looked over at him. Not what?

He glanced at her, “You’re not on your own. You weren’t on your own, and you’re not on your own.”

His tone was irritated, condescending.

Maria took a deep breath, “I don’t want anything from you.”

“You don’t know what you want,” he muttered.

That was true. Well, it had been true. At the moment she wanted her old worries back. She wanted to be free to worry about what she was going to do with her life. Only now did she realize she didn’t want the decisions to be made for her anymore.

Too late, too late…

***

Michael knew she was breaking down. He could feel it. And it scared him.

Talking didn’t help. He’d tried.

What do you do when someone’s losing it?

Pulling to a stop in front of his building he walked to her side of the car and opened the door for her. She looked at him as if she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. He leaned into the car and unbuckled her seatbelt, then grabbed her upper arm and started to pull her out of the car. The roughness of his touch seemed to jar her, and for a moment her eyes flashed, she jerked her arm back before hopping out on her own.

Lifting her head up she walked past him into the building and stood next to the door, waiting for him to unlock it. Her eyes were wide, her fists clenched. She was trying to convince herself she could handle it. Whatever ‘it’ was. He’d heard her nonsensical babble, she was trying to tell herself she could ‘do it on her own’. Somehow he had a feeling it was more than just the possibility of motherhood, but he didn’t know what.

Once they were inside, he looked down at her. He hadn’t turned the lights on yet, and the tiny bit of moonlight made shadows on her face.

“Do you want to go up…” he gestured toward the stairs. Wondering if he could trust her to do it correctly. At least they had back-ups…

Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed the small round timer he knew they’d need. She was still standing where he’d left her. As he walked toward her, she jumped as if she’d been startled and quickly walked to the stairs. Taking them two at a time, she tripped near the top.

Without thinking he ran up to her, kicking himself for not turning the lights on.

She glared at him as he approached, picked herself up from where she’d stumbled and walked up the last two stairs quickly, then disappeared into the bathroom.

Moving more slowly, he leaned against the wall outside of the bathroom. Looking down at the timer in his hands, he let himself slide down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. In the back of his mind he was vaguely aware that this was all his fault, but the knowledge didn’t seem to affect him.

Silently, he thought about her face throughout the evening. There was a distinct possibility that she was pregnant with his child, but all he’d been able to do was think about was pulling her into some darkened corner and capturing her lips between his own. He knew that his reaction wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

The door opened and she stood above him, framed by the light behind her.

“Five minutes,” she said.

“All right,” he whispered turned the dial on the timer and stood up.

She was looking up at him, looking him in the eyes. Her green eyes were large, and unsure, and her mouth was slightly pouted. Swallowing hard, he stopped himself from reaching for her. He really couldn’t kiss her, not here…and not now.

Stepping past her, he sat down on the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the cupboards under the sink. She sat down next to him. He could see she was in control again.

“It’s not that I don’t want kids,” she said softly.

He turned to look at her. Was she trying to explain herself?

“I get it. It’s ok,” he replied, looking over at her, startled to find her staring into his eyes.

“I just never imagined it like this,” she looked away from his eyes and down at her hands.

He had a feeling she needed to talk, so he made an attempt, “How did you imagine it?”

Her head came up sharply at the question. She hadn’t anticipated it.

Closing her eyes softly, she began to move her lips, “Later. Maybe when I’m thirty. After I’ve worn the business suits and seen the world…An old house,” her eyes were still closed, but she moved her hands as if she could see it in front of her, he was fascinated, “with large trees, and a front porch. A basketball hoop on the garage in the back…”

Her voice was light and sweet, and her face had softened. It was the way she looked when she’d watched Alex and Isabel dance. He felt an aching pain in his chest.

“…maybe a dog. Three kids, and a station wagon. Soccer balls in the yard. And someone. Someone who-,” her eyes fluttered open, and she brought her hands to her face, then scrunched her lids closed again.

Without thinking about it, he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his lap. She was so tiny, and she didn’t protest. He didn’t know what he was doing, didn’t know how to hold her, he concentrated on not burying his face in her hair as she leaned against him.

The timer started to ring. Reaching out, he grabbed it off the floor and turned it off. She was still relaxed in his arms, it was only resignation, he knew, but he didn’t really care - as long as she wasn’t trying to get away.

Balancing her carefully, he leaned forward and reached up onto the counter to grab the plastic stick from the place she’d left it. He held it in front of his face.

One line.

What did one line mean?

“Just tell me,” she whispered.

“One line,” he said slightly puzzled.

“One?” her voice was high and it cracked.

***

Maria felt the waves of relief washing over her.

“One?” she asked again, sitting up and taking it from his hand. She peered at it narrowing her eyes, turning it in her hand, looking at it from every possible angle.

“Thank God. Oh, thank God,” she whispered.

“Negative…?” his voice was soft as he asked the question.

She nodded, and glanced at him, avoiding his eyes. Suddenly she was on her feet, walking out of the bathroom. He scrambled to follow her

“I’m gonna’ go into advertising. I liked it for a reason, and it sounds interesting. I think I’ll even go to school over the summer – to start getting caught up.”

“What are you talking about?” he sounded almost angry as he followed her down the stairs.

“My life,” she whirled to face him. He looked upset. Didn’t he know he was supposed to be happy now?

“Your life…?”

“Yes, my life. The life that I have now. There is so much I want to do,” she smiled at him. Maybe he needed reassurance. She could hardly believe it herself. Nothing ever turned out well for her.

“So…that’s it?” he lifted his eyebrows slightly, his tone was dry.

He was watching her closely, and she was slightly unnerved.

She nodded slowly, the smile falling from her lips. Was he mad that she’d told him? Angry that she’d dragged him into it?

“Sorry. You know, for scaring you and everything,” she said over her shoulder as she walked toward the door.

He was right behind her. It was too much to hope that he’d let her walk home alone.

“I wasn’t scared,” he sounded insulted as he followed her out the door.

“Ok,” she said lightly, pretending not to notice his hostility, as she stepped out of his building and onto the sidewalk.

“What do you want now?” he asked, his tone low, still almost angry. He seemed so large, so untouchable while he was walking next to her.

“I don’t know,” she answered, feeling awkward with him. Somehow that experience felt even more intimate than the sex, if that were possible. What would he have done if she’d been pregnant? There was no way that he would have been all right with it – he was just really good at remaining calm, no matter what the situation.

They walked the rest of the distance to her building in silence. At the foot of the steps she turned to give him her usual glancing farewell, but he grabbed her. His lips came crushing down on hers, his hands pulled her to him. She kissed him back. Hard. Just as roughly as he was kissing her.

He pulled away suddenly and looked down at her. Looked into her eyes as if he was searching for something. She didn’t know what he wanted, so she just stared at him. After a second, he kissed her again, and this time a moan escaped his lips as they met hers. It was a small sound of need, and it made her head spin. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t remember what she should be doing…all she could do was melt into him, her hands tangling into his hair.

This time when he pulled back she had trouble catching her breath. His eyes were dark, and she was lost in them. He was gorgeous in the moonlight, the planes of his face were smooth and strong. Her fingers moved to touch his cheek of their own volition, and she was about to tell him to take her back to his place…he wouldn’t refuse…he was a guy, and she was a girl…

You shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be doing this…

His hands found their way to her face, he tilted her chin up, so that she had no choice but to continue to look him in the eye. She felt dizzy, the things he did to her, the way he made her feel…

“Why?” his voice was a hoarse whisper.

Why what? She narrowed her eyes slightly, and he leaned closer to her, his lips nearly touching hers, and asked again, “Why?”

Leaning up on her tip-toes, she managed to capture his lips. She used her teeth, pulled down hard on his neck, anything to keep him from pulling away again. He kissed her back, slower and deeper than before. As he started to pull away again, she held him, roughly, not wanting to let go. This time when he looked down into her eyes, he seemed to find what he was searching for. His face became cloudy, and she was about to ask him what was wrong…

“Why Maria?”

She tried to pull him back into a kiss, but he held himself back, staring intently into her eyes. Why did he always need to know ‘why’? She wasn’t going to tell him. It might have slipped out once, but she wouldn’t – she couldn’t say it again. He might hear it this time.

“Because…” she whispered as she kissed his jaw, his chin, his neck…Hoping he’d let it go and take her home with him.

“ Why?”

Did he want her on her knees? Did he want her to beg? She pulled on his neck, and he relented, leaning toward her. She whispered it into his mouth as they kissed again.

This time when he pulled away, he stepped back. She was slightly satisfied to see that he was having trouble breathing too. His eyes found hers, he seemed disappointed.

“You want something else,” he whispered, shaking his head, then he turned and walked away.

What did he mean? Where was he going?

What was she doing kissing him?

She was confused, so confused. But, her life was hers again. And, that was the important thing, wasn’t it? Everything with Michael was trouble, and she was a fool for even considering…

It wasn’t going anywhere. No point in dwelling on it. She had things to do.

Pulling herself up to her full height, she walked up the steps of her building with confidence and purpose, but couldn’t resist one last look at his retreating back as she opened the door.

 

 

 

Michael watched her closely as she walked across the restaurant to Liz and gave her a hug. The entire place had been rented out for Max’s surprise party, and was decorated accordingly.

“Michael, is that her?” Tess asked quietly as she stared at Liz.

“That’s her,” he said quietly, his eyes still on Maria who was talking to Liz animatedly.

“She’s very pretty.”

“I guess, I don’t know,” he said, looking down to give Tess a reassuring smile.

“Who’s very pretty?” Kyle asked, as he moved to Tess’s side.

“Oh, uh, Maria. We were just saying how pretty Maria looks tonight,” Tess said quickly with a forced smile.

“Maria, huh?” Kyle asked guardedly, shooting Michael a glare.

Most of the time Michael thought Kyle was all right, but whenever he caught Michael looking at Maria he got a little bristly.

“We should find out where we’re supposed to hide,” Tess said, breaking up the awkward moment.

“Yeah,” Michael said, looking back at Maria who was walking toward them, arm in arm with Liz.

“Kyle!” Liz smiled as she looked down at his legs. “When did you get to take off the braces?”

“Yesterday,” Kyle replied with a smile. “This was originally when they thought I’d get them off, but it was still a pretty big surprise.”

“Well, you look great,” Liz smiled, giving him an awkward little hug.

“Oh, Liz, this is Tess Harding,” Maria said giving a quick wave in Tess’s direction.

The two women smiled at one another politely and murmured greetings. Michael glanced down at Tess, and could see that she was embarrassed.

“Well, we’re all going to be in the bar when he comes in,” Liz said, gesturing to the open entrance in the corner.

“We’ll go wait there, then,” Michael said quickly.

Kyle slipped an arm around Tess’s waist, and Michael was glad he did. Liz excused herself to speak to more new arrivals as the four of them moved toward the bar.

“She seems nice,” Tess said as they settled themselves at a table in the corner.

Sensing that Tess was uncomfortable, Kyle started to talk to her about work. Michael watched them carefully as they spoke to one another. They were so easy with each other, Kyle joked with her until she was laughing, and all of the doubts had left her eyes.

“Oh, wow,” he heard Maria say softly next to him. He glanced down at her, then followed her eyes to the entrance of the room.

Isabel. She was wearing a short red cocktail dress. It was form fitting and showed her slightly swollen abdomen clearly. This was what people meant when they said that pregnant women were beautiful. He let his eyes linger on her a moment too long, and he was starting to feel a strange twinge. It wasn’t much, he was over her.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Maria making a sudden movement. He turned to look at her, and saw that she’d crossed her arms over her chest and that her shoulders were hunched forward slightly.

“Am I under dressed?” she asked him softly.

He shrugged, how would he know? All he knew was that the low rising dark blue jeans and tight white sleeveless shirt she was wearing had been the cause of him turning his back and practically running for the car the minute he’d seen her. As a matter of fact, he was wishing she’d put her coat back on if he was going to have to sit there next to her.

***

Maria let Liz lead her to the dance floor. They were still giggling at Max’s refusal to dance with his girlfriend. Liz knew how to throw a party, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Glancing around the room at all of Max’s friends and family, Maria marveled at how easily Liz seemed to have made a place in his life.

“So, I think Max was thoroughly surprised,” Maria giggled as she started dancing across from her friend.

“Yeah, I think so,” Liz smiled dreamily casting a glance in his direction.

“Liz, Maria!”

They turned to see Alex standing near them with a camera. Leaning toward each other, they put on big smiles as he snapped the button and the flash went off.

“Not dancing, Alex?” Maria asked.

“No, taking pictures for the old ball and chain,” Alex laughed at his own joke. “She says her feet hurt. I told her not to wear those heels.”

Maria laughed as Alex walked away, and looked to see why Liz wasn’t laughing as well when she noticed that Max had found his way to the dance floor after all. For a minute Maria was a little miffed at being abandoned by her friend, but sighed softly, deciding to go sit down. She was glad of her decision when the music changed suddenly to a more sultry song.

“Want to dance?”

Maria looked up into the eyes of a blonde guy she’d been introduced to earlier. A friend of Max’s, but she couldn’t remember his name.

“Oh, uh, sure,” she said with a smile as the guy reached out for her.

***

Michael leaned back against the bar and watched her closely from his vantage point on the stool.

“Do you have to do that?”

He looked over to see Kyle at his side, “Do what?”

“Stare at her. It’s starting to piss me off.”

Michael smirked, “If you’re planning to have a talk with every guy who’s staring at her you’ve got a long night ahead.”

“It’s mainly you that concerns me,” Kyle said.

“I can’t imagine why,” Michael tried to keep his tone casual as he reached back onto the bar to retrieve his drink. Liz was leading her to the dance floor.

“Because I know there’s something going on between you two. I’m not stupid. I don’t buy that you just went on one blind date.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Michael glanced over at her brother. “No need to worry anyway, she wants nothing to do with me.”

“Yeah, she told me that,” Kyle said slowly, turning to look at her on the dance floor.

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Michael said, actually trying to reassure her brother. He’d known that the guy had wanted to say something for a while, but didn’t feel as though he should.

“Just keep in mind that she’s different, ok? She’s a good girl, and she deserves the best,” Kyle whispered the last words as he walked away.

Yeah, she was a good girl, before he’d gotten his hands on her. Sighing, Michael watched her as she posed for a picture with Liz. She spoke to Alex for a moment, smiling and laughing, then turned to see that Liz had been swept away by Max. He watched her disappointment for a moment, and then smiled as she began walking in the direction of the bar.

Her hair was down, and the new cut she was sporting left it long, but jaggedly cut at the bottom. When she wore it straight like this, it drove him crazy. She oozed sexuality, and it was hard not to become intoxicated just being in the same room with her. Every movement that she made reminded him that it had been too long since he’d touched her. Too long since he’d felt her soft skin beneath his fingers. He wondered if he ever would again. Since ‘the scare’, it had become obvious that he was correct in his assumption – she felt something for him, but she didn’t want to. So, for a month, he’d stood back and watched, stealing time with her while she was with Tess and Kyle or with Liz and Max. Maybe he was making a mistake, but if he didn’t have a foothold in her life after she quit on Monday then he knew he’d never see her at all.

Some guy had stopped her on her way off the floor, and now had her dancing with him. His blood began to boil as he watched her sensually sway her hips, with her hands raised above her head. Her lips were making a sultry pout below her smoldering eyes. He wanted to scream when the guy put his hands on her waist and she let him pull her close. Before he knew it, he was on his feet striding quickly to the dance floor.

***

Maria was enjoying herself. The guy she was dancing with liked to grope, but she could handle him. It felt good to throw her head back and dance. She could hardly remember the last time she’d just let loose like this.

Suddenly, a hand closed around one of her wrists, plucking it out of the air. She looked up to see him bare his teeth at her dancing partner. He looked angry, primal…and oh, so hot. They were on the middle of a dance floor, surrounded by people, he had just scared away the guy who was dancing with her like an uncivilized ape, and all she wanted was to throw herself at him. The affect he had on her, this strange hypnotic power, it frightened her.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a low angry tone as he started to lead her off the dance floor.

He either didn’t hear her, or ignored her. For some reason, she let him continue to pull her. Suddenly, she found herself in a nearly dark hallway.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she challenged him again as he stood with his back to her.

Turning suddenly, he slapped the wall hard then leaned against it, and muttered, “I don’t know.”

She could see his profile. The strong planes of his face, his brooding eyes, those supple lips. He was like a masterpiece, but it was his inner force that drew her to him. Everything about him exuded power, strength, invulnerability. Only at moments like this did she even get a glimpse of a crack in his cool exterior. She was beginning to wonder if it was her that had this affect on him, or just his libido. Then she remembered how he reacted to Isabel - those were feelings, this was just…sexual.

“Michael?” her voice was softer than she meant it to be, more vulnerable than she meant it to be.

He looked at her. Turned the full force of his heated gaze on her. Then, he stood up straight and took a step toward her. Standing so close that his chest touched hers, he leaned forward slightly as if he was going to kiss her, then stopped himself with a sharp shake of his head and a wry smile.

It was all that she could do not to reach out and pull him to her. All of her frustration over the past month at having him so close and yet so far had her willing to do anything for his touch.

“Sorry,” he said almost sarcastically as he stepped past her, and walked back in the direction of the bar.

She shook her head to clear it, hoping to dislodge his hold over her mind. Any time he was near like that, she was no longer able to think. This was becoming a problem. Instead of getting over him and moving on, she seemed to be sinking in deeper. Getting to know him was only making things worse.

***

Michael walked back into the room and headed for the barstool he’d abandoned. Sitting down hard, he signaled to the bartender that he wanted another drink.

What a stupid thing to do. Why couldn’t he just do what her brother wanted, what she wanted? He should just leave her alone. Never in his life had he acted so stupidly out of jealousy.

“Michael.”

He laughed slightly. Naturally, she’d find him at his lowest point in weeks. She must have an internal radar.

“Isabel,” he tried to smile as he glanced her way.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Wonderful,” he said, not bothering to disguise the sarcasm as he took a quick drink, “and you?

“I’m very well,” she said softly.

“Great,” he said with an insincere eyebrow raise, trying to avoid looking at her as he took another drink.

“Maybe you should lay off, you’re starting to look a little worse for wear,” she said, placing a hand on his upper arm.

He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

“Michael, why do you do this to yourself? Everyone is enjoying themselves, and you’re sitting over here looking as though your dog just died-.”

“ Isabel, it’s not your job to worry about my emotional state anymore. I’m the mistake, rememb-.”

“Hey, Michael,” Maria’s voice sounded over his shoulder. He turned quickly to see her watching him carefully. She gave Isabel a polite smile, then turned back to him.

“Huh?” he was confused.

“I thought maybe I could get that dance now,” she said, putting her hand on his arm and pulling slightly.

“Dance?” Isabel looked surprised. “But, Michael, you don’t-.”

“Later, Iz,” he said as he stood and followed Maria to the dance floor.

When they reached the floor, she pulled him close, and wrapped her arms around his neck. It was a good thing the song was slow, or they’d have been in real trouble.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You just looked…you looked…”

He nodded, looking down at her. Her eyes seemed so large when she was looking up at him like this.

“I can’t dance, though,” he said quietly.

“Can’t dance?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Shaking his head, he tried to back away from her a little. Having her pressed so tightly to him was starting to become a problem. He was amazed when she laid her cheek against his chest. She’d come to his rescue and now she was snuggling with him on the dance floor.

The song ended, and she pulled away, giving him a brief smile before she walked into the other room.

***

“Maria!”

“Hi, Alex. Still taking pictures?” Maria smiled.

“No, my mother-in-law took over for me,” Alex grinned as he sat down at the table next to her. “So, Tess’s new boyfriend is your brother, huh?”

Maria laughed, “Well, they aren’t technically to that stage yet, but I think it’s safe to say that they’re more than friends.”

Still smiling, Alex nodded his head slowly, “Strange that Tess and Michael are dating siblings again. Almost bizarre.”

“Oh, I’m not dating Michael – although that definitely would be weird,” she laughed.

Studying her for a moment, Alex sighed, “I’m glad to hear it. You could probably do a lot better.”

Cocking her head to the side, Maria wondered what he was getting at, “Better than Michael?”

“Well, I don’t really know him. He was strange with Isabel after they broke up, though.”

For some reason, those words put Maria on edge, but she simply smiled, “Oh, there’s my brother, excuse me.”

***

Michael handed her the keys as they neared his vehicle. He’d had a little to drink, and there wasn’t any point in taking a chance.

She nodded slowly as she took them and climbed into the driver’s side while Tess and Kyle got in the back. As soon as they pulled away from the curb, Kyle started a conversation with Tess, and he and Maria were left in their own world in the front seat.

“So, Max seemed to enjoy the party,” she said, glancing at him.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…”

He looked at her, as she sat with her back straight and her arms outstretched. She looked so small, and so sexy. Turning his head back to look out at the traffic, he tried to keep his mind off her.

***

Maria and Kyle thanked Michael for the ride home, then quietly went into the building. Walking behind her brother on the stairs, Maria couldn’t help but smile at seeing him able to walk up on his own. At their floor, he turned to walk down to Serena’s to get Abby, and she quickly unlocked their door and slipped inside.

Her room was full of boxes. She was in the process of packing. Next weekend she was moving in with her new roommate in the U district.

Flopping down on her bed, she closed her eyes and was greeted with an image of Michael. Him leaning against the wall in the dimly lit hallway, acting fierce as he scared off the blonde guy, looking sick when Isabel was speaking to him, the way that he’d held her as they danced. Her heart sped up at the thought of leaping off her bed, running out of her building and down the street to him. The idea of throwing herself into his arms, begging him to make her scream, to make her feel – was making it hard for her to breathe.

She needed to get away. To get on with her life, and break all ties. He was just a guy that she’d turned to in a weak moment, and had accidentally fallen in love with. There wasn’t anything real between them. So, maybe she knew him a little better now. Maybe he made Abby smile because he talked to her like she was another adult, and maybe Tess said that he was the only person in her life she knew she could depend on…it didn’t mean that he was good for her.

***

Michael walked into the diner, and sat down at the counter. She spotted him, and grabbed a cola for him as she walked his way. He hadn’t seen her since Saturday night, and it was almost a relief to see her face.

He was surprised to see her give him a small smile as she set it down in front of him.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Sure,” she whispered.

For a moment, she stood watching him, then she went back about her duties. He watched her walk away, and told himself it was stupid to get sentimental. Even if it was her last day.

***

Maria smoothed her hair back as she bent down to pick up the box. She hadn't realized just how much stuff she'd accumulated in her locker. Actually, it was quite a bit.

"Later, Jose," she said as she walked past the kitchen.

"Yeah, Mrya," he waved slightly without looking up.

He was the only customer in the diner. She walked over to the counter and sat the box down on the stool next to his. Moving behind the counter, she gave Courtney a polite smile as she cleared his plate and his glass. For a moment, it occurred to her that this would be the last time.

Grabbing the rag to quickly wipe up the counter in front of him, she had to move aside the bill he'd laid there. Benjamin Franklin's spectacled face stared up from her as she replaced the rag under the counter. Biting the inside of her cheek, she walked to the register and got his change. She should have known he'd try something like this. Carefully, one at a time, she laid the bills out in front of him. Four twenties, a ten, two ones, and a quarter.

Michael crossed his arms in front of him and leaned on the counter. He looked first at the bills and then glanced up at her with a smirk. Placing his fingertips on the bills, he pushed them toward her.

She bit back a smile, and threw her head to the side, then shook it quickly while she exhaled loudly through her nose. Moving quickly, she sent the bills back across the counter toward him.

He raised his eyebrows, looking irritated, and narrowed his eyes, but she caught the twitch at the corner of his mouth. His palm came down flat on the money and he slid it toward her again.

When he'd removed his hand, she reached down and picked up the money. He was watching her carefully. Taking it in her hands, she folded it first in half, then into quarters, then reached across the counter and shoved the bills into the front pocket of his shirt.

Now, he looked genuinely irritated. He reached down and picked up the quarter that was left on the counter. Before she knew what was happening, he flipped it in her direction. It hit her stomach and then fell to the floor with a clang. Kneeling down, she picked it up and was ready to throw it back at him when she stood and saw that he was already on his feet, holding her box. She sneered at him, and he gave her a condescending smirk. Without another word, she slipped the quarter in her pocket and walked around the counter.

"Word of advice for your next job," Courtney whispered as she passed her, "don't turn down ninety dollar tips."

"Good-bye Courtney," Maria smiled, ignoring the girl as she walked to the door.

***

“You’re moving this weekend?” he asked her as they walked out the door.

She glanced up at him, she still looked slightly irritated, but she nodded, “Yeah, on Saturday. It sucks, because that’s the same day that Kyle is moving into the new house, but we have to be out by Monday, and my new roommate said Saturday was the earliest that would work.”

“Need any help?” he couldn’t believe he’d asked.

Looking up at him curiously, she narrowed her eyes, “First, you’re thanking me for serving you, now you’re making small talk and offering to help me move?”

He shrugged.

“It’s like ‘invasion of the pod people’ or something,” she muttered.

Shaking his head, he sighed, “Just forget it then.”

“No, no. Are you serious? You’re the first person who’s offered,” her tone was almost eager.

“I’m serious.”

“Ok then, yeah, I could use some help,” she said.

Michael sighed and switched the box to his left arm. Then, he noticed a familiar car coming down the street toward him. A certain German sports car with a certain Isabel Evans – oh, no, make that ‘Whitman’ behind the wheel. He stopped and watched her drive past them, then turned to see her park in front of his building.

“Oh,” Maria said quietly at his elbow.

He looked down at her. Why did she always try to cover herself whenever Isabel was around?

Turning back in the direction of her building, he started walking again.

“It’s ok, you can go talk to her,” Maria said moving quickly to keep up with him.

“No, I’m helping you carry this home.”

“Really,” she said, reaching for the box, “I can manage.”

“Stop it, just let me carry it,” he said harshly, looking down at her.

“No, just let me have it,” she insisted.

He ignored her and kept walking, batting away her hands every time she tried to grab the box. At her building, he started to walk up the steps, but she planted herself in front of him and took the box before he could stop her.

“ I’ve got it,” she hissed, then turned quickly and ran up to her door.

Irritated, he simply turned and walked back in the direction of his building. Isabel was sitting on the hood of her car with her arms crossed, and when she noticed him walking toward her, she stood and put a hand on her hip expectantly.

“Iz,” he nodded at her as he walked past her car on his way inside the building.

“Michael. I need to talk to you,” she followed him into the building.

“Ok,” he said as he unlocked his door.

She followed him inside and went to stare out one of his windows.

“I told him.”

“Told who what?”

Turning to glance at him, he heard her swallow hard, “My husband. I told him about everything.”

“Oh,” he said softly as he shrugged out of his coat and threw it across the back of his armchair. “And, what does that have to do with me?”

“He wants to talk to you. To apologize.”

“He wants to apologize to me?” Michael asked incredulously.

“Well…”

“Well what?”

“He’s upset that he broke us up. I told him not to be, but he was anyway,” she said hastily as she started to pace around the room.

“Yeah, you should have told him he was the hero for rescuing you from the big bad wolf,” he knew he shouldn’t say it, but he did anyway.

She rolled her eyes and walked into his studio corner, looking at his latest work, “You know what I meant, Michael.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s something else. The real reason he wants to talk to you.”

“The real reason?”

“Yes, the real reason. He says that he warned some girl about you.”

“What? What girl? What do you mean ‘warned’?”

“This is the girl from Max’s party Saturday night,” she said, picking up a drawing he’d done from memory of the way Maria had looked.

“Yeah. Now, what girl?”

“I think it was this girl,” Isabel said slowly, studying the drawing. “Was she your date at the wedding? He said it was a girl who’d been your date at the wedding, apparently I met her but I don’t remember.”

He was staring at her, slack-jawed. What had Alex said to Maria?

“What did he say?” Michael asked her angrily, striding quickly into the studio and whipping the drawing out of her hand.

“I don’t know,” she looked startled. “He’s coming here to speak to you, he can tell you. I tried to talk him out of it. I knew that you wouldn’t want to talk to him, and I tried to tell him that I couldn’t imagine you caring if he’d said something bad about you to some girl.”

Michael stared at her. Whatever Alex had said probably hadn’t made a difference, but it probably hadn’t helped either.
 

 

 

“Are you sure?” Kyle looked at her sideways as she finished making another ham sandwich.

“I’m sure. It’s fine.”

“And, I’m supposed to believe you’re just friends.”

“Kyle, we’re not even friends, really. Believe whatever you want.”

“Maria, you’re killin’ me here.”

“Oh, leave me alone. Get going, I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“Uh huh…”

“ Kyle.”

“If you’d just wait until later tonight so that I could help you-.”

“You shouldn’t be doing the lifting anyway. That’s why your buddies are helping you, remember?” she was starting to get annoyed, they were arguing like they were kids again. She was beginning to wonder when it would dissolve into ‘are too’ - ‘am not’. They were locked in a bizarre power struggle, a struggle that seemed to be manifesting itself all over the place.

“Did I do something to piss you off? Every single time I try to talk to you, you close down and get defensive. I’m just trying to help you move, does that make me the anti-Christ?” his tone belied some of the tension that had been building between them for weeks.

“You know what, Kyle? You did do something to piss me off. I’ve been running my life just fine without any help from you, so why wouldn’t I resent it that you suddenly have opinions about who I’m seeing and what I’m doing? God, I’m not Abby. This parenting crap is really getting on my nerves.”

“Fine. Great. This is really how I wanted our last few hours of sharing a living space to go down,” he angrily took the sandwiches she’d made and tossed them into a paper bag. “And, you know what you’re missing here, Maria? Me having opinions about who you’re seeing and what you’re doing – it means that I care. God forbid I should be concerned about what’s going on in your life, especially when it involves one of the weirdest guys I’ve ever met.”

“Have fun moving, Kyle,” she started to put away the sandwich fixings, hoping he’d leave.

He walked out of the room without another word.

***

“Yeah, yeah, coming,” Michael shouted as the knocking on the door got more insistent.

He opened the door and almost shut it again.

“Uh, hi.”

For a moment he considered moving…to a place where no one knew his name, or anything about him.

“Hi. Alex, right?”

“Yeah…” the dark haired man gave him a weak smile.

“Come in,” Michael said.

When they were both seated in the living area, Alex began to nod absently as though he were having an internal conversation.

“Look, I don’t mean to rush you, but I’ve sort of got somewhere to be this morning, so…” Michael watched him closely, wondering exactly what the other man was going to say.

“I,” Alex paused for a moment and cleared his throat as he began tapping his fingers together, “well, I think I did something that I regret.”

“You think you did something that you regret,” Michael couldn’t stop the smart-assed mimic from passing his lips.

Alex looked up at him, irritated, “Look, this isn’t easy for me. Isabel told me…well, let’s just say I wasn’t exactly aware of how things ended between you two. I’ve recently had certain things cleared up for me, regarding those… circumstances…and, I-.”

“So, she told you that I walked in on you f*cking her.”

“That’s my wife you’re talking about,” Alex glared at him, obviously making an effort to restrain himself..

“I think I know that,” Michael gave the guy a smirk.

“You don’t know anything about her.”

“I’d be willing to bet that I know more than you do,” Michael raised his eyebrows leeringly, not caring if he was baiting the guy.

Alex stood, “All right. Scratch what I said before. I don’t regret anything I’ve done. You loved her, and believe me, I can understand that making someone act crazy, but you are without a doubt the most arrogant assh*le I’ve ever met.”

“Right, whatever makes you feel better about screwing with my life,” Michael whispered as he got to his feet, intending to show Alex to the door.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, hey, you’ve got Isabel. Now, you’re messing with Maria-.”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t mention Maria,” Alex narrowed his eyes.

“Isabel told me. She told me that you said something to Maria about me. Doesn’t really matter, she was on to my ‘assh*le-ness’ before you ever entered the picture, but-.”

“ Isabel told you? When?” Alex looked shocked.

“The other day. She dropped by,” Michael knew his tone was too casual, but he didn’t care - let the guy sweat a little.

“How often does she ‘drop by’?”

“Afraid she might be re-living the past? Or is it more about the ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ adage?”

Alex stood and took a menacing step toward him, Michael knew he’d crossed the line. It did take guts for the guy to come here and try to clear things up. Clearing his throat, Michael shook his head slowly as he spoke, “That was probably uncalled for. She doesn’t ‘drop by’, she just wanted to give me a heads up.”

Still looking skeptical, Alex pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes as he let out a long sigh, “I did say something to Maria. Not much, I just told her she could do better, that you’d been weird with Isabel.”

Michael sat back slowly in his chair and looked up at the other man, “I guess that’s true. So, no hard feelings. Just go in peace, or whatever.”

Instead of leaving as Michael expected him to, Alex sat down again, and spoke softly, “Did you see it coming?”

“Did I see what coming?”

“Her, leaving you. Did you see it coming?” Alex asked wearily.

“Isabel? No. But then she’d just tell you that’s because I’m emotionally illiterate or something. There were probably signs...”

Alex nodded, “I don’t know what she’s doing with me. At first, I spent every minute thanking my lucky stars, but now…” he shrugged and held his hands out in a gesture of helplessness.

Michael was starting to feel for the guy – the truth was that if he’d had a brain, he’d have been this insecure when he was with Isabel.

Standing again, Alex walked over to the windows, “How did you survive it? I can’t imagine getting over her. I could never love anyone else.”

“Love is bullsh*t,” Michael said almost cheerily as he stood and walked into his corner studio.

“What, you don’t want to love again, or do you mean you don’t believe in it?”

“Don’t think I ever believed in it. It isn’t real. Everything is just a chemical response.”

“That is one of the stupidest statements I have ever heard,” Alex gave him an almost pitying glance.

“Whatever.”

“Is that Maria?” Alex asked, walking in his direction.

Why was everybody able to tell who it was?

“Yeah,” he replied, looking up at the painting Alex had spotted.

“I guess you really aren’t dating then.”

Michael glanced at the other man, “What makes you say that?”

“Well, I mean, you’re painting her.”

“Yeah…so?”

“You don’t paint people you know,” Alex said matter of factly.

“Hey, I don’t know what school of thought that’s from, but speaking as someone who ‘paints’ on a regular basis…that’s really stupid,” Michael snorted.

“No,” Alex shook his head. “It’s not a school of thought, Isabel said…”

Michael stared at the man who now had a suspicious look on his face, “Isabel said what?”

“Have you ever painted Isabel?” Alex asked softly.

“Uh, yeah,” Michael nodded his head slowly, beginning to wonder if the guy was right in the head.

“Can I see?” Alex’s voice was barely more than a whisper.

Scratching his head, Michael nodded, “Um, I guess. I think there are a couple of pieces upstairs. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

“Ok…” Michael said quietly as he started toward the stairs. “Follow me.”

He entered his storage room on the third floor and quickly walked into the back corner where he kept his work.

“Here,” he said, throwing a dust cloth back and laying out his three paintings of Isabel.

“That’s it?” Alex asked, gesturing at the pieces.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, that’s all there is? You were together for three years, and this is all there is.”

“Well, I have stuff in sketch books, and then there’s the one that I gave Diane.”

“So, you do paint people you know?” Alex asked softly.

Things were getting strange, Alex was looking a little bewildered, and Michael was clueless as to why. He wished this little visit would end.

“Yeah. I mean, not all of the time, but yeah…” Michael glanced at his watch. “Look, I’ve got to go, I’m supposed to be helping someone move.”

“Oh, sorry,” Alex said, as he followed Michael out of the room and down the stairs.

“So, uh, I guess I’ll see ya’…” Michael tried to come up with something polite to say as he lead Alex to the door.

“She told me that you’d never done a painting of her.”

“Huh?” Michael turned around to face the guy. What was he talking about?

“Isabel. She told me that you don’t paint people you know,” Alex’s voice was soft, and he was visibly upset.

“I don’t know why she told you that.”

“I don’t either,” Alex shook his head slowly as he walked out the door.

***

Maria quickly grabbed her jacket from her room after she buzzed up Michael, then ran for the door when she heard his knock, “Coming!”

She threw it open, and was greeted by a face she didn’t expect to see at all. It hadn’t been Michael who’d buzzed.

“Alex?”

“Hi, Maria,” he gave her a small smile. “Hope you don’t mind, I got the address from Liz…”

“Oh, uh, no,” she smiled back, wondering what he was doing there. “Would you like to come in?”

“Yeah, I’ll just stay for a minute, I need to talk to you.”

“Ok…” Maria stepped back and let him enter the apartment.

“Are you moving?” Alex gestured at the boxes stacked all around.

“Oh, yeah. My brother rented a house, and I’m moving closer to school.”

Alex nodded, but looked lost in thought, “I said some things, Maria, that I probably shouldn’t have.”

“Really?” she was puzzled.

“About Michael.”

“Michael.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and looked at her. “I gave you the impression that he was a bad guy, when the truth is I didn’t know what I was talking about.”

“Oh,” Maria smiled uncomfortably, “hey, no big deal.”

“No, it is. Obviously he’s interested in you, and-.”

“No, no,” she shook her head and laughed slightly, “he’s not interested in me. We just got fixed up for your wedding, and then by some bizarre coincidence, my brother knew Tess-.”

“Maria, I don’t really know him, but from everything I’ve seen-.”

Alex was interrupted by the buzzer, and Maria absently pushed the release button as he continued.

“…well, he acts interested. And, then, the paintings – well, I suppose they speak for themselves.”

“Honestly, Alex, he’s not interested,” she smiled. “And, as for the paintings, all they do is prove how little he thinks of me. You know, he doesn’t paint anyone he knows – you’re the one that told me that.”

“That’s not true. He does paint people he knows, just not often.”

Maria shook her head sharply, “No. You-.”

“Maria, I saw five times more paintings of you in his studio than he did of Isabel in all of the time they were together.”

Still shaking her head, Maria started to feel dizzy, “That’s not-.”

A knock at the door stopped her mid-sentence. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before she walked over to open it. There wasn’t any doubt as to the identity of the knocker this time.

“Hi,” she said softly as she opened the door to him.

“Hey,” Michael replied, raising his eyebrows slightly in greeting, then letting out a long sharp breath as he walked into the apartment.

Alex glanced quickly back and forth between Maria and Michael, and Maria felt like her face was going to burn up.

“Hello again, Michael.”

“Uh, hey, Alex…” Michael nodded at him, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“Well, I guess Maria was the person you were supposed to help move?”

“Yeah…” Michael glanced at her briefly then looked back at Alex.

“I was just, ah, going,” Alex pointed at the door, then walked toward it. “I’ll see you later, Maria. I think you should consider what I said…”

Maria nodded, her face felt so hot she thought she was going to faint as she closed the door after Alex.

Obviously Michael had an idea what the guy was doing there, and she was more embarrassed than she’d ever thought was possible. She didn’t want Michael to think that she held any hope of anything happening between them.

“So, where do you want me to start?” Michael asked her, but kept his eyes on some boxes in the corner. It was unusual, he almost always insisted on eye contact.

“Well, I suppose my furniture first, I’ve got a bed, and a desk, and a dresser,” it took a concerted effort for her to keep her voice even, and her knees from buckling.

“Yeah, ok,” he nodded, immediately setting off down the hall.

She followed after him, he didn’t even know which bedroom was hers.

***

Michael tried not to smile as she flopped down on her bare mattress.

“ God, I’m exhausted,” she sighed loudly, as she threw her forearm over her eyes dramatically.

“This was the easiest move I’ve ever been a part of,” he said condescendingly, watching her face for a reaction as he leaned casually against the doorframe of her new room.

She moved her arm and scowled at him, then softened her look, “Thank you for helping me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he shrugged.

“No, seriously, I don’t know what I would have done-.”

“I said no problem.”

She scrunched up her nose, “All right, no need to get snippy.”

“Whatever.”

“I’ll take you back so you can get your car,” she said quietly as she got to her feet.

“Ok,” he said turning and walking down the hall toward the front door.

Things hadn’t been as awkward as he’d thought they’d be after he’d walked in on her with Alex. Obviously she’d already finished telling the guy what she thought of ‘Michael the assh*le’ before he’d arrived.

He watched her as she worked with the ancient lock on the rental truck. Her face was scrunched in concentration, her lips out in a serious pout.

“Did I tell you I got a job over there?” she asked as she pointed across the street to the coffee house that had once been his hang-out. He’d taken her there.

Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as she pulled away from the curb, he decided to try making conversation, “When do you start work?”

“Monday,” she smiled.

“Oh,” he nodded. “So…are you excited, for school?”

Her smile grew broader, and he couldn’t take his eyes from her profile, “Yeah, I never thought I’d say it, but I actually am. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, it’s not stupid.”

She glanced at him for a moment, then moved her eyes back to the road.

***

Maria adjusted her small tie-on apron slightly, then went back to refilling the straw containers. She loved her new job already, of course it was only her first day. Her boss was incredibly easy-going, and had told her to wear whatever she wanted as long as she looked ‘cool’.

The door chime sounded, and when no one came to the counter to order coffee, she peaked over at her new co-worker, “Gina, did that person sit at a table?”

Gina looked up briefly from her magazine, “Yeah, you wanna’ take him?”

“Sure,” Maria smiled and walked out to the small round table.

There he sat, lounging, his chair leaned back on two legs, his face drawn up in it’s usual devil-may-care smirk, “Michael?”

“Hey,” he nodded slightly and raised his eyebrows before lowering his chair back to the ground.

What was he doing here? Why…Why…Why…?

“W-What…what are you…?”

“I’ll have two dishes of-.”

“ Michael.”

“What?” he leaned forward and looked up at her as if she were crazy.

“What are you doing here?”

His look seemed to be questioning her sanity, and he spoke slowly, “I’m ordering. They still serve food here, don’t they?”

This couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. He knew she’d be here, he knew it.

She swallowed hard, “It’s two dishes of chocolate mousse, right?”

He relaxed and leaned back slightly, still looking at her intently, then nodded, “Yeah.”

Maria tried not to trip on her way back to the kitchen.

 

 

 

“Maria, promise you won’t leave me alone?”

“I promise,” Maria nodded with a forced smile.

“I hate these things, but I always try to enjoy myself for his sake.”

“Ok,” Maria tried to make the smile bigger, “I’ll pretend to enjoy myself too.”

Tess giggled and locked arms with her as they walked through the door.

Maria still wasn’t sure what she was doing there. She studied the uber-chic crowds as they made their way across the room. Her hand flew to her hair. Suddenly, the matching buns behind each of her ears with wisps of razored hair sticking out of them seemed juvenile, and ridiculous. Why was she here? Curiosity. Morbid, morbid curiosity. She wanted to know what she was going to find hanging on the walls at his latest showing.

***

“Michael?”

He turned, and looked into sad brown eyes, “Iz.”

“Everything looks wonderful,” her hand made a sweeping gesture around the room before coming back to settle on her protruding stomach. A small smile pulled the corners of her mouth for a moment, then just as quickly was gone.

“Thanks,” he nodded slightly.

Isabel gave him a slight nod, then pursed her lips as she drew a long breath. He knew she was nearly eight months pregnant, but she looked more beautiful than she ever had. Her hair hung down her back, long and straight. Perfection, as always, Isabel.

“I’m going to mingle,” she said softly, looking deeply into his eyes.

She was haunted, he knew it, and he couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. Alex left her.

“Have fun,” he tried to joke with her, “I’ll be hiding in the corner.”

Blinking quickly, she smiled slightly again, “I don’t know why you come to these things.”

“I don’t know either. Why do you come?”

“For you, Michael,” her tone made it clear that he should already know that. For a moment, she hesitated, and he thought she might hug him, but she didn’t. She gathered her dignity, and walked away. He watched her glide away.

True to his word, he made his way into the corner, and sat down, watching the people milling about the room. A few girls were trying to catch his eye, but none of them looked interesting. His gaze found Max and Liz, standing in front of a piece in the opposite corner from him. Their hands were interlaced, and after a few moments of looking, they simply moved on to the next painting.

He hadn’t greeted them yet, so he stood and started to make his way over to them.

To his left, he hard a metallic clatter, and then a voice he knew too well.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me help you, oh – I am so sorry.”

Turning, he saw her, just a few feet away. She was on her knees, wiping up some red liquid on the floor as the waiter watched her helplessly, trying to tell her not to bother. He walked over to her, and looked down, then stooped and grabbed the towel she’d taken from the waiter out of her hand and handed it back to the man.

“Uh, hi…” she sounded breathless, and her cheeks were flushed.

He stood and held his hand down for her. She took it and let him pull her to her feet. Silently, he watched as she straightened and brushed her gray skirt, and repositioned her sleeveless red top.

“I, uh…” she started to speak, while studying her hands intently. She seemed even more nervous than usual. “I’m here with Tess. My brother couldn’t make it until later, so,” she shrugged as her words came out in a rush, “I’m sort of here in his place.”

“Ok…” he didn’t really know how he was supposed to respond. She didn’t need to apologize for being there.

“Well, I should go find Tess,” she jerked her thumb to the left, and looked in that direction, then quickly walked away.

He watched her go, watched her halting gate as she hesitantly looked around for their friend. As usual, he couldn’t take his eyes from her. She was captivating.

Earlier that day, he’d wanted to ask her to come tonight.

They’d been sitting at the little table in the café, like they did everyday. She was droning on about something while he was eating the fruit she’d put in front of him – he wasn’t allowed to choose his own food anymore, she’d said that much chocolate mousse wasn’t ‘healthy’, and she’d started bringing him ‘better’ things to eat. At one point, she’d looked up at him, her face animated as she explained the issue she had with one of her professors, and he’d wanted to ask her to come with him tonight. The moment had been fleeting, and he’d resisted the urge. It was pointless, he really wasn’t good for her, and she didn’t feel anything for him anymore.

***

Maria didn’t know what to think. She couldn’t ask anyone, and that only made things worse. At this point, she’d studied nearly every piece in the room, and she hadn’t seen herself anywhere. Should she be glad, or should she cry? What did it mean?

Glancing across the room at him, she accidentally caught his eye, and then quickly looked away. She felt strange about just showing up here, she probably should have told him she was coming.

Moving toward the back of the room, she saw the last two pieces hanging side by side. One was an empty swing, the sort you’d find on a playground. The other was the one she’d seen him working on, it was Isabel and Alex dancing at their wedding. She stepped toward it hesitantly, and examined it in it’s finished state.

***

Michael watched her carefully, he should never have agreed to showing that one. He hadn’t known that she would come, though.

Without another thought, he made his way over to her. He stopped just behind her, resisting the urge to touch her. She seemed to sense his presence, she tensed, and turned her head to the side to glance at him. He watched as her tiny hand reached out, pointing at the scene in the corner of the picture.

“Is that, um…?” her question hung in the air.

“Yeah, it is,” he couldn’t deny it, he didn’t want to deny it, besides - she already knew.

“Oh,” her voice was soft, and she nodded slightly, then glanced to the side again, trying to look at him.

His eyes traveled back to the painting, first to Isabel and Alex, the false focal point, then to the shaded area in the upper corner. He saw himself, looking at her as she stared at the couple with a look of awe on her face. It was a reflection of how he’d felt at that moment, watching her.

She turned around to face him, her lips moved slightly as though she were trying to speak.

“I…” he didn’t know why he opened his mouth, he didn’t really have anything to say.

“Michael, where are the others?” she asked, staring at the floor.

“Others?”

“The other ones,” she shrugged, and glanced up at him, then quickly looked off to her right, “the other ones of me.”

“Those are mine,” he was irritated, what did she think? That he’d put those up in public? They were for him, they were inspired, they were too personal – they were her.

She swallowed, and looked up at him again, just for a moment.

That was what she thought of him. He ran his hand through his hair quickly, and then backed away from her.

***

Maria watched him go. She could hardly believe what had just happened. The look, that look of pain, it had only been on his face briefly, but she’d seen it…she’d put it there. Shaking her head slightly, she turned back to the painting. To bask again in the truth of it, to see the way he was looking at her in it. Their faces were shadowed, and if she hadn’t been there, she probably would never have noticed, but there it was.

“You’re Max and Liz’s friend, right?”

She turned to see a very pregnant Isabel standing beside her, regarding the piece as well.

“Yes, I’m Maria, actually we’ve met before, Isabel.”

Isabel nodded, and gave her a tiny smile, “Yes, I know.”

Maria didn’t really know what to say to the woman. She’d heard that Alex had left her. As Liz put it, he ‘moved out’. Apparently, he was still in town, still making doctor’s appointments for the baby, but their marriage was over. She still remembered the way she’d felt when Liz told her, it seemed so shocking, they seemed so much in love.

“He captured you very well,” Maria said lamely, gesturing at the dancing couple, not really knowing what to say.

“Yes,” Isabel nodded as she continued to study it. After a moment, the woman took a step forward, staring up into the corner as she absentmindedly rubbed her stomach, “That’s him, there – that’s Michael.”

“Ah, yeah, I guess it is,” Maria said softly, her eyes wandering back to the tiny scene.

“Maria…” Isabel’s voice trailed off as she continued to stare. “Is that you with him?”

Things were growing even more uncomfortable, she shrugged and tried to be nonchalant, “I don’t know.”

“It is, it’s you.”

Maria shrugged when Isabel turned to stare at her.

“How long have you been with him?” Isabel asked, her voice low.

“I-I’m not with him.”

Isabel stared at her for a moment, then walked away.

***

Michael glanced back and forth between Liz and Max. He still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up going out for coffee with them. Looking across the table at Maria, he remembered why he hadn’t left already.

“I felt sorry for Isabel,” Liz said softly, glancing back and forth between Max and Maria.

Max frowned, and nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

Maria seemed uncomfortable with the subject, and began to fidget with her coffee cup, then she reached across the table and broke off a piece of his sweet roll and ate it.

“Uh, Maria, would you like your own roll?” Liz laughed softly, sounding slightly embarrassed, looking first at Max and then at him.

“Huh?” Maria asked her absently as she glanced around the room.

Liz gave him an apologetic look, but he simply shook his head. They didn’t have any way of knowing that she ate off his plate all of the time.

“So, Maria, what did you think of Michael’s work?” Max looked at the girl.

Michael watched her closely as her eyes darted his way for a moment, then slid nervously back to Max.

“Oh, um, it was really great,” she said, giving Max a polite smile.

“It really was great, Michael,” Liz turned to him. “The one of Alex and Isabel at their wedding was especially moving.”

He hated it when people discussed his work, especially when they tried to involve him in the discussion. Liz was staring at him now, expecting him to make some insightful remark.

Maria cleared her throat and turned to Liz, “So, are you excited about graduation, girl? Your parents must be so proud.”

Liz seemed a little shocked at the turn of conversation, and again shot apologetic looks first in Max’s direction, then in his. It was starting to piss him off, this need she seemed to have to apologize for Maria.

“Well, I’m proud,” Max said with a grin, interrupting the small cloud of tension that had settled over the table.

Michael watched for a moment as Max and Liz’s hands reached automatically across the table to one another, he rolled his eyes, and caught the faint sound of a snicker from Maria. He looked up at her, she had seen him, and was trying not to laugh. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, for a reason that he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

“Should we tell them?” Liz’s lips curled into a smile as she gazed into her lover’s eyes.

Michael watched in horrified wonder as Max sighed and gave her a dreamy grin in return, “We should tell someone.”

“Ok,” Maria leaned forward and waved her hand between the two, “I’m sure that this little inside conversation you’re having is very fun for the two of you, but the rest of us are a little lost.”

“Yeah,” Michael decided to pitch in, “what’d you two do, get matching tattoos or something?”

Max and Liz shared another ‘secretive’ smile. Had they actually gotten tattoos? He was beginning to wonder when Max finally spoke.

“We’re engaged.”

Engaged? Was the guy crazy? He’d proposed to Tess a little over six months ago, now he was engaged to Liz?

“Wow,” Maria said under her breath as she leaned back in her chair and her eyes grew large and round.

“Uh, could one of you look at me so that I can tell if this is a joke?” Michael spoke sharply.

Liz finally broke their intense stare and turned to look at Michael, “No, it’s not a joke.”

Michael turned to Max who returned his gaze sheepishly, it was obvious that his friend knew what he was thinking.

“Liz…” Maria spoke softly, and Michael glanced up to see that she’d put a smile on her face for her friend’s sake. “Congratulations, I guess…?”

Smiling, Liz nodded, “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Well,” Maria giggled nervously, “it’s a little fast, but if you two are sure…”

“Never been so sure of anything in my life,” Max said as he reached across the table with his other hand to grasp Liz’s.

“Really?” Michael didn’t hide his sarcasm. “Are you as sure as you were when you proposed to Tess in November?”

This was going to kill Tess, he knew it was. She and Kyle were sort of seeing each other, but hadn’t progressed at all, as far as he knew they hadn’t even kissed yet. Max was still an issue for her.

Maria caught his eye from across the table, and gave him a look of understanding. She was thinking the same thing.

Max looked less than pleased, “Look, Michael, I know that you haven’t exactly had an easy time with love, but can’t you just be happy for us?”

Michael scoffed, “This has nothing to do with me, Max, this has to do with you. You said yourself, you haven’t told anyone else. Now, why is that?”

“We haven’t told anyone because of Isabel and Alex,” Liz said, showing her irritation at his lack of enthusiasm as she glared at him.

“Well,” Michael shrugged, “you’re gonna’ do what you’re gonna’ do, so knock yourselves out. Congratulations, or whatever.”

Max nodded at him, and he nodded back.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Liz snapped.

Maria put her hand on Liz’s arm, “He means ‘congratulations’, Liz, it’s just a little sudden – we’re a little surprised, that’s all.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table, and Michael studied Liz. She looked upset, and when he thought about it, he couldn’t blame her, she seemed happy and it was obvious she just wanted everyone else to be too. It didn’t really matter that much to him, it was a mistake, but they’d just have to find that out for themselves.

“Well,” Maria broke the silence, “have you set a date?”

“No,” Max shook his head slowly, “we haven’t gotten that far.”

“But,” Liz turned to Maria, and seemed to brighten a bit, “I’d love for you to be a bridesmaid.”

Smiling, Maria nodded, “Of course, and you caught me just in time too, I’ve got one more bridesmaid card to play.”

Liz laughed a little, and Maria giggled as she reached across the table and broke off another piece of his sweet roll and at it.

“ Maria,” Liz chided.

“What?” Maria turned to her friend with a cheery look as she popped the bite into her mouth.

“You keep eating Michael’s roll, that’s a little rude,” Liz tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced at Max for confirmation.

Michael watched as Maria’s face turned red. She was embarrassed, but not for eating his roll.

“Sorry,” Maria whispered in his general direction.

He stared at her. She didn’t want them to know that she did it out of habit, that much was obvious.

“ Michael,” Max nudged his elbow, “tell her you don’t mind.”

“She knows I don’t mind,” he said, keeping his eyes on Maria. He didn’t care if she got mad at him, he didn’t have anything to hide.

Max laughed nervously, and looked at Maria, trying to joke through his own discomfort, “Michael’s such a people person.”

“That’s it,” Michael pushed his chair back and stood, pulling out his wallet and throwing some money onto the table.

He looked first at Max, “You don’t need to apologize for me.”

Next, he glared at Liz, “And, you don’t need to apologize for her.”

Maria was staring at him, and he met her gaze, he knew she’d probably turn him down for all of her good reasons, but he was going to ask anyway, “Wanna’ get out of here?”

She hesitated. Liz glanced at her questioningly, and Max was taking a very long, very deep breath.

“Sure,” she said as she stood, “later, guys.”

Before she could think better of it, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the place behind him.

***

Maria glanced in his direction, he caught her and gazed back for a moment before letting his eyes slide back to the road.

Liz had probably already left her fifty messages by now. There would have to be explanations for this. She could hear it now, ‘What is going on between you and Michael?’. At the moment, she didn’t really care.

Being here, in his car, with him…she felt better than she had all night. Her thoughts drifted back to the gallery, the painting…

“I guess I won’t be your dirty little secret anymore, huh?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“What?” she turned to him.

“You heard me,” he said as he rested his elbow on the door and ran a hand through his hair.

“If anyone’s the dirty little secret…” she said under her breath.

“I heard that. What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What did you mean?”

“God, I don’t get you,” he said more to himself than to her as he looked off to the side and shook his head exasperatedly.

“Why did you ask me to come with you, then?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“Right,” she nodded, pursing her lips. She was angry. Angry that he was so difficult, angry that she was hurt, angry that he was always turning things upside down - angry that she loved him so damned much.

“I was trying to save you from going into sugar shock,” he said.

Dammit, just when she wanted to be mad at him…

“Yeah, I guess I should thank you for that,” she said softly, trying to bite back a smile.

“I can’t believe he’s marrying her,” he said, shaking his head again.

How did they go from an argument to this?

“Well, they seem to be really in love…”

“Love,” he snorted.

“What?”

“Come on, love? What is love, anyway?” his tone was almost condescending.

“What do you mean ‘what is love’? Love is what makes the world go ’round,” she bit back.

“Yeah, whatever. Love is bullsh*t.”

Suddenly, she was on the verge of tears. Love wasn’t bullsh*t. Love sucked, but it wasn’t bullsh*t. She was in love with him, and she knew it, at that moment, she realized just how much in love she was – the pain his words brought proved it. Trying to steel herself, she sat up straight. This thing with him would go away eventually, she didn’t need to let it get to her like this. Michael Guerin wasn’t the most important thing in her life.

She swallowed hard, and tried to keep her mouth closed. Tried not to say something that would only make the hurt worse.

Her words came out of their own volition, soft and low, “Love isn’t bullsh*t.”

He didn’t speak, but she could feel his eyes on her. She looked out the side window, not wanting to risk him seeing the tears she was holding back in her eyes.

“How do you know?”

His question caught her off guard. The tone he used wasn’t snide, it was normal, almost as if he wanted an answer.

She continued to stare out the window.

 

 

 

“Ok, Abby, I’ll see you soon.”

“Ok, Auntie Maria.”

Maria smiled and hugged her niece again, but had to release her as the little girl started to squirm.

“Have fun at the park,” Maria looked at Kyle with a small smile as she watched Abby run for her the backyard.

“Yeah, we will,” he nodded, looking down at his shoes.

She hated it that things were always this uncomfortable between them now.

“Kyle…” she wanted to say something to make things the way that they used to be.

He sighed and looked up at her, “I know, kid. You’re all grown up now, and you don’t need me anymore.”

“You don’t need me anymore,” she replied, punching him on the shoulder.

“I’ll always need you,” he looked up at her, and gave her a sad half-smile, “you and Abby, you’re the only family I’ve got. I know I checked out for a while, but...”

She shook her head, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. All she’d come over to do was have breakfast with him and Abby, she hadn’t really been prepared for a heart to heart. Her voice was shaky when she finally spoke, “I know, you were just worried about me.”

“I still am,” he said quickly.

Maria smiled, and a tear slipped down her cheek, “I will maintain that I’m a big girl now.”

He nodded, and laughed a little, “I know you are, but no matter how ‘big’ you get, I’ll always be your big brother.”

“That’s good. I guess I’ll always need a big brother,” she smiled at him.

“I guess you will,” he smiled back.

They both looked down, and she felt relieved that things were clearing up between them.

“I need to get going, though, I’ve got a half shift starting at noon,” she said, moving toward the door.

“Ok,” Kyle said as he followed her.

At the door, she turned quickly and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly for a moment, then walked away, wiping her tears as she walked to the bus stop.

***

He watched her as she walked toward him. Chocolate mousse? What had he done to deserve that?

Maria put the dish down in front of him, and he looked up at her questioningly. She’d hardly spoken to him in the past couple of weeks, so he didn’t like to be the first to break the silence.

“It’s Saturday,” she shrugged as she sat in the chair across from him.

Nodding, he picked up the spoon and started to eat as she watched him. He was a little surprised when his phone rang. No one ever called him.

“Hello?”

“ Michael?” Isabel sounded out of breath.

“Iz?”

“Yeah, I-I’m in labor. Aaaahh…,” she moaned softly into the phone.

Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, then glanced over at Maria, who was staring at him.

Moving the phone back to his ear, he spoke slowly, “I think you should go to the hospital then.”

Isabel sounded breathless again, “I am at the hospital. Things are just getting started, but I can’t get anyone on the phone. Max isn’t answering his digital, my parents are in Portland for my aunt’s birthday, and Alex is apparently in Vancouver for a weekend conference.”

“Ok…” Michael said slowly. “Why would they all go out of town when you’re having a baby?”

“I don’t know,” she sounded exasperated, “I’m not due for three more weeks, I didn’t think it would happen this soon.”

“So, you’re all by yourself?”

“Yes,” her voice was soft, and she sounded like a younger, scared version of herself.

“I’m on my way.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

He pulled his phone away from his ear again and clicked it off.

Maria cleared her throat, “Uh, Isabel?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“No one’s in town?” she asked.

“Apparently not.”

“Convenient,” she said moving her head to the side slightly.

“Very. I guess she’s not due for three more weeks, though.”

“Right…” Maria looked skeptical.

“What?” he asked. “I’m not making it up.”

“I didn’t say you were. So, you’re going to go see her?”

“Yeah…but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly realizing he didn’t even know what hospital she was at. His first instinct was to call Tess, but he knew that might be a little awkward for her.

“Want me to go with you?” Maria asked.

He looked up at her. “Uh, yeah. Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious,” she said. “Let me go tell them I’m leaving, give me like two minutes.”

“Thanks…” he said lamely as he she stood.

She looked at him strangely for a moment, then nodded.

***

“I hate hospitals,” he said as leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and examining his hands.

“Yeah, me too,” she whispered.

He glanced over at her, and then looked back at his hands. They’d been in the waiting room for nearly ten minutes waiting for the doctor to finish with Isabel. After several phone calls, she’d discovered what hospital Isabel was at, and they’d arrived just as Isabel was ending a phone call with her parents - they were on their way home from Portlland. As soon as the phone call ended, they’d been shoed out so that the doctor could examine her.

“Maria?”

She looked up to see that Michael was standing, gesturing at the now open door of Isabel’s room.

“Ok, sorry,” she said as she stood.

“Hey – Michael, Maria!”

They both looked to their left and saw Max hurrying down the hall.

“About time you got here,” Michael said with a frown.

“Sorry,” Max said, pausing to catch his breath. “Where is she?”

“In there,” Michael pointed at the door and turned to go sit back down in the waiting area across from her room.

Maria watched Max enter the room, then looked walked over to where Michael was sitting, “You’re not going in?”

“He’s here, he can handle it,” Michael said, gesturing toward Isabel’s room.

She sat down next to him again, and sat her purse down on the chair next to her.

“I hate hospitals,” he said again, leaning back in the chair and letting his legs sprawl out in front of him.

“ Me too,” she whispered, giving him a quick look.

Maria studied his face. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back slightly. This was one of the few times she’d ever seen him this ill at ease. Of course, it seemed that anything involving Isabel made him this way. He sighed, and brought his hands up to his face, running them up into his hair, then pulling them back down again, letting them fall into his lap. Opening one eye, he looked at her.

“Do you think she’ll be all right?”

She nodded, and almost smiled at him, “People do this everyday.”

“Right,” he nodded, closing his eyes and bringing his hands back to his face, whispering, “ everyday.”

“Hey,” Max said, sitting down a chair across from them. “Thanks for, ah, coming.”

Michael sat up and looked at his friend, “Yeah, no problem.”

Maria smiled at Max and nodded, she had a feeling this was the first time Michael and Max had spoken since the incident at coffee.

“What did the doctor say?” she asked.

“Oh, that things are fine, and normal, but the baby’s definitely on it’s way. Should be a few more hours, though,” Max raised his eyebrows slightly and let out a small sigh. “Alex is in Canada, and his office doesn’t have a way of reaching him, the meetings are over for the day, and he’s not answering at his hotel. Apparently his mobile phone isn’t working up there.”

“There’s no way to reach him?” Maria asked, feeling awful that Alex might miss the birth. No matter what was going on with him and Isabel, she didn’t think he seemed like the kind of guy who’d want to miss the birth of his child.

“I don’t know what to do,” Max said, raising his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Isabel said she had to talk to three different people to find out even that much. Their normal staff isn’t in on Saturdays.”

“Do we know where he’s staying?” she wondered if maybe there would be some other way to reach him.

“Yeah, the man Isabel talked to gave her the name, and she called and left a message for him there,” Max said, looking at her quizzically.

“Maybe we could…” Maria looked over at Michael. She could see from the look on his face that he knew what she was thinking.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he nodded at her, “but, wouldn’t it all be over by the time we got there and back? I mean a round trip would take at least seven or eight hours.”

“The doctor said she thought the baby wouldn’t be here ‘til morning, things haven’t progressed very far,” Max said leaning forward slightly. “I know Isabel would be really grateful…” he looked at Michael.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll go. Go get the name of the hotel,” Michael said.

“Thanks,” Max said, giving him a genuine smile.

Michael snorted after Max walked away, “Like there’s even a remote chance that I’ll find him.”

“You never know,” Maria turned to look at him. “We might be able to find him.”

“You don’t have to go,” he said.

“No, I want to. Alex is sort of my friend, and I don’t think he’d want to miss this.”

“We probably won’t find him.”

“We’ll see,” she gave him a small smile.

He rolled his eyes, and stood as Max walked toward them again.

“She said to tell you thank you.”

“Yeah, all right,” Michael nodded, taking the piece of paper Max held out to him.

Maria stood, “Tell her to take care.”

“You’re going to?” Max asked her.

“Yeah…” she nodded, looking down at her feet, feeling a little silly. She’d been avoiding Liz’s calls since the incident, and she knew that both Liz and Max must be wondering what was going on between she and Michael. The fact that she was here at the hospital with him probably wasn’t helping their suspicions much.

“Well, good luck,” Max said as he turned to re-enter Isabel’s room.

***

“This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Michael muttered as he pulled onto the freeway.

“Have a little faith, geez,” she said. “I’m sure that Alex was meant to be at the birth.”

“ What?” he looked over at her as if she was crazy. He thought she must be crazy. Faith? Meant to be? Baloney.

She seemed to be ignoring him, so he tried to keep his eyes on the road. After a few minutes, she reached for the radio, hitting the power button. They were both greeted by loud metal blaring over the speakers. Immediately her hand flew to the down volume button, pushing it repeatedly until it the music was barely audible.

“You’re lucky you’re not deaf,” she said.

“What?” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I said, you’re lucky you’re not deaf.”

“ What?”

“ I said-.”

Apparently she heard the snicker he couldn’t hold back, because she let out a hiss.

“Oh, ha-ha. Very funny,” she sat back in her seat crossing her arms in front of her.

He ignored her pout and reached for the stereo, turning up the volume again, not as high as it had been, but high enough to be in what he considered ‘listening’ range.

They rode like that for sometime, before she reached for the stereo again, this time turning it off of the cd he’d been listening to and switching to the radio tuner. After a moment, she landed on a pop station.

“Oh, what is this?” he asked, irritated. His hand reached for the buttons, but she slapped it away.

“No way, we listened to your noise long enough,” she said.

He glared at her, “Well, anything but this. Christina Aguilera? Kill me now.”

“How ‘bout I kill you later?” she quipped.

“Ha-ha. Turn it.”

She mumbled something he couldn’t quite catch, but she started flipping through the stations and finally settled on classic rock. He could live with that - for a while anyway.

***

Maria had to admit they’d made amazingly good time. Of course, he’d driven like a maniac, but he got her there in one piece, so she really couldn’t complain.

“That’s the place, right there,” she pointed at the building as they drove past the street is was on. “Uh, you passed it.

“That was a one way street,” he said.

“All right, so we go around the block?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.”

“What’s the plan exactly? We check his room, and if he’s not there, then what? We start combing local bistros, bars…?” she looked in his direction.

“I don’t know,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I do this everyday. Like I said, needle in a haystack.”

She sat back and waited until he came to a stop in front of the hotel, then quickly jumped out when the doorman opened the door for her. Behind her, she heard Michael say something to the valet about keeping the car close.

Inside, she immediately walked past the front desk and headed for the elevators. She heard him come up behind her as she stood waiting for the doors to open.

“Ok,” she said, glancing down at the paper. “Room 1125, so that should be the eleventh floor, right?”

“I guess,” he said.

She glanced back at him, he wasn’t being very helpful. They stepped onto the elevator when it arrived, and rode the eleven floors up in silence.

The signs on the eleventh floor led them down first one hallway, then another before they finally came to a stop in front of 1125.

“Well,” he said, looking at her, “knock.”

“Why do I have to knock?” she asked.

He rolled his eyes and rapped on the door. No answer, so he tried again, a little more forcefully this time.

“Guess he’s not here,” he said after there was no response. “Now what?”

She glanced first at him, then at the door, then took the side of her fist and began to pound on it, “Alex! Alex, are you in there?”

Maria was fully aware that Michael was looking at her as if she was crazy, but she didn’t really care. She was going to be absolutely certain that Alex wasn’t just taking a nap with his phone off the hook before she gave up.

Amazingly, the door opened.

“What?” a very disheveled looking Alex asked as he peeked his head around the door.

“Alex?” she asked pushing on the door.

“Maria?” he squinted his eyes and blinked several times. “Uh, w-what’re you, uh, doing here…?”

“It’s Isabel,” she told him, still trying to push the door open, “she’s in labor.”

“What?” he asked, scratching his head clumsily.

“Are you ok, Alex?” she asked, leaning toward him.

Michael nudged her, and she glanced over at him.

“Can’t you see,” he gestured at Alex who was still scratching his head, “he’s drunk off his ass.”

***

“So, I’m gonna’ be a father,” Alex said a little too loudly from the backseat.

Michael held his tongue.

“Yes, Alex, that’s right,” Maria said in a placating tone.

“I don’t th-think I’m ready yet, not ready for that.”

“Well, I think it’s happening if you’re ready or not,” she said turning around to give the man in the back a smile.

“Riiight,” Alex replied. Michael glanced in the rear view mirror and saw him nodding like an idiot. He heard Maria sigh as she rested her head against the window.

“We can’t take him in there like this,” Michael said to her, jerking his thumb toward Alex.

“I know,” her tone sounded weary as she nodded.

He stared out at into the night. It was nearly ten, and they wouldn’t be there for another two hours still. Maybe Alex would be relatively sober by then.

“Hey, man, none of your business where you take me,” Alex spoke, and Michael could tell the nonsensical comment was directed at him.

“Whatever,” Michael replied.

“Don’t like me, do ya’?” Alex asked him as he glanced in the rear view again.

“Not especially, no,” he said, glancing up at the mirror to glare at the guy.

Maria sighed again, a little louder this time, “Come on, there’s no point, he’s out of it.”

“Wish she was still yours, don’t ya’?” Alex taunted him.

“Alex,” Maria said sharply. “Please, why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

Michael was fuming. He knew he should ignore the guy.

“She didn’t want either of us, man,” Alex continued as if she hadn’t even spoken. “First, she lied to you, then to me. Lies man, all lies.”

Maria let out an exasperated sound and massaged her forehead with her hand, shaking her head slightly.

He glanced at her, and she looked back at him. She looked worried, and he realized suddenly that her worry was for him. That only seemed to make him feel worse.

“Isabel, Isabel,” Alex started again from the back, “why did you let me love you?”

“Good question,” Michael muttered.

“Yeah,” Alex sounded excited, “I mean, I’m not worthy. I can’t believe she ever married me. Maybe it was only because of the baby.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Maria said softly in response.

“No, prob’ly not,” Alex agreed. “What do you think, Michael? Since you know her ooooooh so well.”

“I think she married you because I talked her into it, you prick,” he said, unable to contain his anger.

“What?” Alex asked.

Maria had stilled completely and was looking at him.

“Nothing,” he muttered, wishing he was at least mature enough to ignore a drunk.

“She told me that you told her to wait until after the wedding to tell me,” Alex said. “Thanks a lot.”

“Tell you what?” Maria asked.

Michael wanted to tell her to ignore the guy, but he really didn’t have room to talk.

“That she was still with loverboy up there when she met me. Oh, and that she was pregnant with his kid,” Alex stated, in an emotionless, matter-of-fact tone.

Silence finally reigned in the car, and Michael felt completely humiliated. Now, she knew. Knew that Isabel had made a complete fool of him, knew what a sap he was.

After several minutes, he finally felt Maria’s eyes shift from him back to Alex, “I don’t understand what that has to do with you, though, Alex.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Alex said. “Lies. Everything about us was a lie. She was still with him, she was having his kid, he did paint her…”

“Yeah,” Maria said softly, “I understand that it hurt that she lied to you, but did you need to end it?”

“Eventually she would have left me, this way I left her.”

Michael glanced at the guy in the rear view. That statement he actually understood.

“Alex,” Maria’s tone was forceful, “I don’t know Isabel, but I know a woman in love, and that woman is in love with you. The way you were together…it was like magic.”

Looking at her for a moment, Michael shook his head. She shouldn’t get involved, it wasn’t any of their business how those two wanted to f*ck up their lives.

“She’s having my baby,” Alex said lamely, making it more of a stand alone statement than a response to Maria.

“Yes,” Maria said encouragingly, “see, she loves you.”

“She loves me, she’s having my baby,” Alex says slowly, as though he’s considering this for the first time.

Michael finally let out the breath he’d been holding in a rushing woosh. Of course Isabel loves Alex, whatever love is – she was having his baby. Thoughts of other babies that she didn’t have with men she didn’t love entered his mind.

Maria was watching him again, he could feel her eyes, and he wondered if she’d guessed it all now. Alex had told her basically everything, this last bit was just a completion of it. He hated it that she was watching him. Hated it, hated it.

Glancing at the gas gauge, he made an excuse to exit the freeway and pull over at a station. He needed fresh air.
 

 

 

Maria glanced across the waiting room to watch Max for a moment. He’d thanked them profusely for finding Alex, and only paused briefly to stare at Alex’s still soaked shirt. It was unspoken between her and Michael that no one needed to know he’d stopped at the service station and pulled Alex out of the car to throw two cold glasses of water in his face - the stunt had worked, Alex was now surprisingly sober, and currently inside the delivery room with his wife. Max seemed a little lost, his father was in the cafeteria getting coffee for everyone, and his mother was with Isabel. Maria wondered for the first time that night where Liz was.

Suddenly, Alex came bursting out of the doors to the closed off part of the hall with a huge smile on his face. She sat forward slightly, waiting for the news.

“A girl,” Alex sputtered as he stopped in front of them, “a baby girl.”

Maria felt Michael stirring next to her, and glanced over to see that he’d opened his eyes, and was now staring groggily at Alex.

Max was hugging Alex awkwardly, and asking about Isabel. Maria turned to Michael again, he was staring up at the ceiling. She glanced at her watch it was nearly six in the morning.

“Do you want to go?” she asked him quietly. He’d wanted to stay before, after they’d brought Alex in, he’d told her he could run her home, but she’d refused.

“I guess we could wait, to see her,” he said as he sat forward and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “if it’s ok with you.”

“Yeah, it’s fine with me,” she said.

He nodded, and sat back again.

About an hour later, a nurse came to tell Max he could see Isabel, and then a few minutes after that, he’d come back to tell Michael he could sneak in to see her.

“Ok,” Michael had answered, hesitantly moving to his feet.

Something had propelled her to her feet as well, and she had a feeling it was the hard set of his jaw as he prepared himself to enter the room.

“Can I sneak in with him?” she asked Max.

Max had nodded, smiling as he pointed to the mobile phone, which was now pressed firmly to his ear. He was apparently still calling relatives.

Michael glanced back at her, then started walking. She followed closely behind.

Isabel managed to look beautiful even when she looked sweaty and tired as she laid back in her hospital bed with a soft smile on her face. Maria’s eyes traveled to Alex who was holding his tiny daughter in the chair next to the bed. He was completely absorbed in the baby, barely giving them a glance.

“Hey,” Michael greeted the new mother as he walked to her bedside.

Maria hung back a little, feeling like an intruder. Looking at the new family, it occurred to her that this picture could very well have been her and Michael. Together, but not, stuck with each other.

“Thank you for bringing him,” Isabel said with a tired smile as she looked up at Michael and nodded her head in Alex’s direction.

“Yeah, sure,” Michael shrugged.

Maria didn’t miss the look that Alex shot in Michael’s direction, there was gratitude in the new father’s eyes as well.

“Thank you, too,” Isabel looked over in her direction.

Smiling, Maria crossed her arms, suddenly feeling more uncomfortable at being singled out, “Yeah, no problem.”

Michael had turned away from Isabel and was staring at her strangely.

“We should probably go,” Michael said after a moment of silence.

“Don’t you want to hold the baby?” Isabel asked him.

Maria watched as Michael forced himself to look at the baby. She realized that he hadn’t looked at the infant before this point. Several emotions seemed to sweep across his face at once.

“I-I can’t,” he said after a moment shaking his head, “I don’t really know how or anything.”

“No, it’s easy,” Isabel protested as Alex glanced up to look back and forth between his wife and Michael. He didn’t seem thrilled at the prospect of handing his baby over to the other man.

“We should really be going,” Maria stepped forward and said without really thinking. Alex glanced at her briefly before letting his eyes drift back to his daughter, Isabel smiled politely at her, and Michael gave her a look that she didn’t bother to interpret.

***

He didn’t protest when she took the keys, even though he knew she had to be more tired than he was, she hadn’t slept at all.

“I’m glad everything turned out all right,” she said as her fingers gripped the wheel tightly and she squinted in the morning sunlight.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Was it just me, or did it seem like they might have a shot?”

Running a hand through his hair, he nodded in agreement, “I guess they might.”

“I just want you to know,” she began with her voice low, “I think it was really great of you to do all of this for her. She’s your ex, and well, I guess a lot of people wouldn’t.”

Shrugging, he looked out the window. He had a feeling that was supposed to be a compliment, but he had no idea how to respond to it.

“It’s nothin’,” was all he could think to say.

“No, it was,” she insisted. “I know it was hard for you, being there and everything. I had no idea what had happened between you two…” she let her voice trail off.

This was not something he wanted to talk about, so he stared out the side window and hoped she’d just stop talking.

“What was it like?” she asked softly.

“What was ‘what’ like?” he asked, although he had a feeling he knew where she was going.

“You know, seeing her there…like that,” her voice was low.

He had no idea how to respond to that. What was he supposed to say? That when he walked into that hospital room he didn’t feel anything? That the first real thought he’d had about the whole scene had been about her?

“It’s over,” he said simply. “There’s nothing there.”

Glancing in her direction he saw that her brow was furrowed at his answer. She was breathing strangely, and he wondered if maybe she was more nervous than he was about this topic. Then why was she pushing it?

“But,” she licked her lips and took a deep breath, “you always seem so affected by her. Every time you’re with her, you get this look on your face…and, just now in the room, you looked – I don’t know…”

So, she was worried about him again. It was her way, she cared, maybe it was in spite of herself, but she cared. Something made him want to tell her, made him wish he could say what he was thinking.

“There was always this picture,” he sat up straight, and worked to keep his voice even. “A picture in my mind, sort of a future picture – and it was always her. Always, for as long as I can remember. Then, at the wedding…at the wedding, I don’t know. It was just over, the picture is gone. Totally, completely gone. What we had, it was never that – not really…I just didn’t have anything else to imagine.”

As soon as he was done speaking, he felt stupid. He wasn’t good with words, and he knew he’d completely botched it. Could he blame it on a lack of sleep?

“I didn’t mean to pry,” she said.

“Yeah,” was all he could say. She probably thought he was defective now. Well, he was defective, so she wouldn’t really be wrong.

He was surprised when he found her driving to his place and not hers. When they pulled to a stop outside, he turned to look at her. She was staring straight ahead, blinking slowly.

Without a word, he got out of the car and went to the entrance of his building, and waited there for her. After a few seconds, she joined him there. He reached down and took the keys from her hand, then went inside to unlock the door.

***

Maria wasn’t really sure what to do. She couldn’t take his car, and she didn’t really feel like spending an hour riding buses to get back to her place. He wouldn’t mind if she just stayed there, she knew, so she decided to do it without really saying anything.

Michael let them in, then immediately went to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water out of the fridge. He came back with one for her too, and handed it to her. She looked at it for a moment, and then up at him. How did he know she was thirsty?

He turned and walked up the stairs and entered his room without a word. From below, she saw him beginning to strip as he walked around the room. Not really stopping to think, she simply mounted the stairs and walked up. When she got to his door, he was already wearing his pajama bottoms and was pulling on a clean t-shirt. He glanced her way, then tossed her a t-shirt and a pair of boxers he’d set on the top of his dresser.

Staring at the clothes, she paused for a moment, then looked up to see him climb into his bed. He looked at her for a moment, deeply, intently. She couldn’t really handle it, so she turned away and went into the bathroom to change.

Alternately taking sips of water and stripping off items of clothing in front of the bathroom mirror, she contemplated what to do next. There was a bedroom up the next flight of stairs she knew, she’d stayed in it before. A voice in the back of her head told her that was probably the best place for her to go, but she felt something tugging her in the direction of his bedroom, or more specifically in the direction of his bed, or even more specifically than that in the direction of his arms.

As she exited the bathroom, thoughts of another course of action left her mind as she walked into his room and slipped under the covers beside him. He turned to look at her as she punched the pillow to make it fit her neck better. That look that he had, intense, searching, knowing. There was something about his looks that made her think he knew her inside and out.

She gave him a little smile and closed her eyes.

***

He wasn’t surprised to find her in his arms when he woke. Somehow, he had pulled her up against him, spooning her while they slept. His nose was buried in her hair, and he took several deep breaths to fill himself with her smell before she woke and ran away from him.

It seemed that she’d heard his thoughts, because almost immediately after he had them, he felt her jolt awake, and felt her stiffen.

“Hey,” his voice was gravely as he spoke his greeting into her hair.

She tensed when he spoke, and almost immediately twisted around in his arms so that she was facing him.

“Hey,” she whispered back as she looked at him

God, he wanted her. Wanted to remove the little bits of cotton that were separating them and make her his.

The late afternoon sun was casting lazy shadows on her face through the blinds, and he wanted to kiss her more than he ever had before.

It was only a moment before he had pressed his lips against hers. She started to protest, started to push him away, but in seconds, her hands had buried themselves in his hair, and her mouth had opened to him.

So long, so long since he’d had her in his arms like this. Too long, too, too long…

“ Michael,” she whispered as he pulled out of her kiss to move his lips to her chin, her throat, the side of her neck.

“Mmm…” he moaned into her skin as he tasted her, letting his lips, his tongue, his teeth nip and kiss at her soft flesh.

It was happening again. She was in his bed, she was his for the moment, but it wouldn’t last, that much he knew. Even knowing the eventual result couldn’t stop him as he kissed her lips again, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, catching it with his teeth.

Her shirt was suddenly gone, then his, her boxers, then his pants…

Somehow he managed to avoid the thoughts until he was laying on top of her, with one of her perfect nipples in his mouth, biting and sucking until she begged for mercy. He looked up into her face, and was overcome by what he saw there. Moving up ‘til his eyes were mere centimeters from her own, he studied her face. The look was back, that look that told him exactly what she thought about him, exactly what she felt for him. He never thought he’d see it again, and it brought reality crashing back.

Shaking his head, he started to back away from her. He couldn’t do it again, couldn’t let himself be inside her, couldn’t let her make him feel those things that only she could. She’d leave when it was over, leave and probably never come back again.

“Michael?” her voice sounded small as her hands gripped his arms when he started to move away.

“I can’t,” he said simply. “I can’t do this again.”

Her chin quivered, and her eyes narrowed, “You don’t want me?”

He wasn’t sure if it was the tone of her voice, or the look on her face, but she shattered every rational thought he had. His lips came crashing back to hers.

Want her? Want her? Did he want her?

His hands slid behind her back and he pulled her up to him, crushing her body against his. There was no way to get enough of her, he’d never ever get enough. One of his hands found her panties and tugged them down quickly as he laid her back on the bed.

She moaned when he pulled away to reach for his nightstand drawer, trying to blindly find one of the condom packages he knew was in there.

“It’s ok,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his jaw and pulling on his shoulders with her hands, “don’t worry about it.”

He didn’t know what she meant, if she was on something now, or if she was willing to risk it – frankly, he couldn’t care less.

His boxers were gone in the blink of an eye, and her eyes were half closed as she tried to pull him into her when he pulled her legs up and moved himself to her entrance, moving himself back and forth there, teasing her.

“Want you?” he hissed as she dug her nails into his back, trying to pull him inside her.

“ Want you?” he repeated as he took a breath and plunged into her, making her back arch, bringing a cry of pleasure from deep in her throat.

“Do I want you?” he asked her quietly as he pulled himself out completely, then buried himself in her again.

She was moaning, the sounds didn’t stop spilling over her lips as her eyes were closed, and her head was thrown back. Here, she was his, in his arms, when he was inside her, she was his – only his.

He took it slow. Slow, and deep, and hard. It had to last, somewhere in his mind, he knew it wouldn’t happen again. His pace was slow, and his rhythm was uneven, to give himself more time, to prolong it.

Over and over, he would pull all of the way out of her, waiting until she begged him, waiting until she opened her eyes and gave him the look, then he would thrust into her, and continue for a bit before starting the torture over again. Maybe this way, if he made it long enough, if he made it desperate enough she’d never forget him. Forever, no matter how far away she got, she’d have this memory with her. If he could bury himself deep enough inside her, maybe he could make sure she’d carry him with her forever. There had to be some way to do to her what she’d done to him, there had to be some way to make her think she’d never be able to breathe without him.

***

She was dying. He was killing her, slowly, but surely killing her. There was so much pleasure, she felt like she was in a haze. When she opened her eyes, all she could see was him as he stared back at her, making her feel weak. It felt so good when he was moving inside her, it was the most exquisite torture.

“Michael,” she moaned as he pulled out again. Her hands went to his shoulders, she pulled until her nails bit into his flesh, her legs wrapped around him, trying to force him back inside. Why was he doing this? Why oh why…? Finally she opened her eyes, wondering if he was actually really there or if she’d dreamed him. There he was, looking god-like as a drop of sweat slid down from his forehead to his chin. As she looked at him, he entered her again, hard and swift, and she had to bite back the scream of pleasure that wanted to rip it’s way out of her mouth.

All she could do was groan when the orgasm that had been building for what seemed like hours finally rippled through her core, spreading a warm heat throughout her body. It wasn’t over yet, though, he just kept going, continued it until she came again.

***

Michael was at the end of his rope, he nearly lost it when she came the second time. Never in his life had he seen anything like it – it was almost as though once he got her started she wouldn’t stop. Her voice was growing hoarse from over use, and his shoulders and legs were starting to ache.

“Maria,” he whispered as he met her lips with his own and began to thrust steadily in and out of her. He couldn’t take it anymore, he needed release, it had to end. Now, he was grinding himself into her with every stroke, wanting to bring her with him.

“ Michael,” her voice intoned, making his name something between a prayer and a curse as her inner muscles began to flutter around him, her back arched as she came again.

That was all it took, his name on her lips one last time, the feeling of her orgasm hitting full force - he came inside her, filling her with everything he had.

It was over, and he collapsed on top of her. She was panting as hard as he was, almost gasping for breath. Her hands, found their way into his hair, and she began to stroke her fingernails gently along his scalp. He fought to keep his eyes open, willed his tired muscles to move him so that he could look at her, drink in the sight of her.

Pulling away slightly so that he could look at her face, he saw that her eyes were closed. Moving out of her, and resting on one elbow at her side, he began to brush her sweat soaked hair away from her face. Her eyes opened after a while, when her breathing had normalized, and she looked at him.

“Why, Maria?” he asked as he laid one hand on her cheek, turning her head slightly so that she couldn’t look away from him.

“Why what?” she returned, turning her eyes first to the ceiling, then closing them again. She knew what he meant.

“ Why?”

“Why what?” her voice was a whisper.

She wanted to make it difficult, or she wanted him to come right out and say it. He wasn’t sure which.

“Why did you let me in?” he asked as he laid himself closer to her, leaning his forehead against her temple as his hand ran down from her cheek to her neck, over her perfect little breasts, to rest on the curve of her hip.

“In?” she breathed out as he kissed her jaw, letting his lips move slowly toward her ear.

This was the only way to keep her with him, he knew. Keep her distracted, kiss her, touch her, hold her…

“Inside, Maria,” he answered. “Why did you let me inside?”

Michael wasn’t sure if it was what he was doing with his lips, or the question, but she let out a low, passionate moan that made his toes curl.

That was probably all of the answer that he was going to get.

He didn’t know why he kept trying to get her to repeat it, it wasn’t as if he believed in that sort of thing anyway. It was just something people said to each other.

She was asleep a few minutes later, and he laid back on the pillows and pulled her on top of him. In her sleep, she draped herself over his body, snuggling her face into his neck. It felt almost perfect, having her in his arms after wishing to hold her for so long.

Sleep slowly overtook him, and the next time he opened his eyes it was morning, and she was gone.

 

 

 

Maria practically tripped as she ran across the street. She couldn’t go to work without showering first, but she was now ten minutes late. Of course, it would probably be all right, but she felt bad about it after she’d left early the day before.

She still couldn’t believe she’d slept ‘til after seven that morning, she’d barely caught the bus. After sleeping the whole day before, she was astounded that she’d made it right on through to morning. It probably just meant that she hadn’t been getting enough sleep lately, or maybe it was just a sign of how much Michael had warn her out.

The morning passed quickly into afternoon, despite the fact that there were not many customers. School was out for the summer, and the crowds were definitely thinner. All through her shift, she kept expecting him to walk through the door. He’d sit at his usual table, and she’d sit down across from him. Maybe she’d just smile at him, or maybe she’d play with his foot under the table.

He didn’t come, though.

***

Michael looked down at the coffee cup in his hand. At the moment, it was fascinating.

“So, Mikey G,” Courtney grinned at him as she leaned on the counter, “we see you so rarely these days, what are you up to on this lovely Sunday afternoon?”

He glanced outside at the rain that was pouring down and gave her a look. Today wasn’t really a day for ‘banter’.

She laughed slightly when he didn’t answer, “Not in a mood for talking I see.”

Nodding slightly, he looked back down at his cup, keeping his eyes on it until the girl walked away again.

Someone opened the diner door, and out of habit he looked to see who it was. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to his cup.

“Hey,” she said as she sat down next to him, wiping drops of rain from her face.

“Hey,” he said, looking up at the cash register.

He had no idea what she was doing there. As far as he knew, she didn’t come back to visit much, but then again he hardly came in anymore either.

“I missed you today,” her voice was low, questioning.

Venturing a look at her, his brow furrowed. It was all he could do to maintain a nonchalant tone, “Oh?”

“So, I thought you must have gone to visit Isabel or something,” she continued, the volume of her voice dropping a notch.

“No,” he shook his head, keeping his eyes on the opposite wall.

“Oh.”

If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought she sounded disappointed.

“Well, hello, Maria,” Courtney came back into his line of site with an order pad in her hand.

“Hi, Courtney,” Maria responded.

Michael turned to look at her while she was distracted. Her hair was wet from the rain, and her cheeks were flushed. She wore a red windbreaker over a blue t-shirt and jeans.

“So, what can I get you?” the waitress asked, waving her order pad.

Maria shook her head, “I just dropped in to talk to Michael.”

Courtney looked slightly irritated, but put on a smile, “Oh, ok.”

She’d admitted that she went out of her way to see him? That was fairly surprising.

When Courtney had walked away again, she looked back at him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, no matter how much he wished he could.

Her voice was hesitant, and she looked down at her hands which were fidgeting in her lap, “Do you want to go to the hospital now?”

He shrugged, “Should I?”

“Well,” she shrugged and let one of her hands wander to the salt shaker, turning it in a circle, “it would probably be nice if you did. And, you know, if you took her flowers or something…”

What exactly was she doing there? She’d come to see him, although he couldn’t fathom why. As usual, she’d left him that morning. He’d resolved to let her go, but now, here she was.

“I guess maybe I should go,” he said, looking back at the coffee cup.

“Yeah…” she sounded uncertain. “Want me to go with you?”

Michael felt his breath catch for a moment, and he looked over at her again, “Ok.”

***

Maria glanced at him as they rode the elevator to the maternity floor. It was becoming more and more apparent that she’d misread some major signals last night, and yesterday, and over the last couple of weeks, and over the last few months…

“This way,” he gestured down the hall when she didn’t step off the elevator.

“Oh, ok,” she said softly holding the vase of roses tightly in her hand as she walked at his side down the corridor. It had been her idea to get the flowers, he’d reluctantly followed her into the gift shop on the main level. She’d spotted the yellow roses and asked the lady at the counter for them immediately. He’d merely nodded when she’d asked if he liked them. In fact, she was fairly sure that he hadn’t said more than a dozen words to her all day.

The door was open, and he walked through first, giving Isabel a wave and Alex a nod.

“Hi,” Isabel smiled at them, “you just missed mom and dad.”

“Oh,” Michael nodded absently.

“How are you feeling?” Maria asked the woman in the bed as she placed the flowers on the window sill and gave Alex a smile where he sat in the chair next to the bed.

“I feel very well,” Isabel smiled at her and gave Alex a quick glance. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely.”

“They’re from Michael,” Maria responded as she leaned against the wall, clasping her hands in front of her. She felt awkward again, and she wondered why she’d ever offered to come.

“They’re from both of us,” Michael said quickly, glancing at her for a moment before turning back to Isabel. “So, you look pretty good. Still hate hospital food?”

Isabel laughed and Alex made a face as he cleared his throat and tried to speak while he chuckled, “She made me go get her a burger and fries at three in the morning.”

Michael laughed out loud with them, Maria was too distracted watching him to join in.

“Do you want to see the baby?” Isabel asked them.

“Where is she?” Maria asked.

“Oh, they’ve got her in the nursery to watch her for a bit, they should be wheeling her crib back in here soon,” she said.

“We can only stay for a minute,” Michael said.

Maria glanced at him, that was news to her, but she nodded and smiled when Alex looked her way.

“I want to thank you both again,” Alex glanced back and for the between them, “I was a little out of it yesterday morning, but thank you. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss that for the world.”

Michael scratched his eyebrow, and looked uncomfortable for a moment before the cool and composed look he’d been sporting all day settled back over his features, “Yeah, no problem, man.”

Maria couldn’t hold back a smile, and she walked over to Alex and bent down, giving him a bear hug, then smiling at Isabel as she stood up, “I’m so happy you made it.”

Alex gave her a big smile, and then a wink as he patted Isabel’s hand. His gesture spoke volumes to her, and for some reason, she felt tears stinging her eyes as she watched the simple movement of Alex’s hand on Isabel’s.

She was afraid to speak again, so she merely listened as Michael made what passed for small talk with Isabel. A few minutes later, a nurse came in with a diner tray, though, and Michael decided it was a good time to leave.

“Uh, take care,” he said looking at Isabel.

Isabel smiled at him, and then at Maria, “We’ll probably see you soon.”

“Yeah,” Michael nodded at her, and started toward the door.

“Bye,” Alex gave them a little wave.

“Bye,” she called softly, giving the couple one last look as they walked out the door.

She walked at Michael’s side for a few feet, then stopped and stepped down a hallway that lead off to the left. She’d spotted a big long window, and she knew what that probably meant.

There were only three babies in the room. She knew that babies were usually kept in their mother’s rooms. Quickly, she scanned the name tags, and found the one she was looking for, ‘Baby Girl Whitman’.

“Aw…” she said softly, placing her fingers against the glass.

“What are you-?” Michael came up behind her, then stopped fast when he saw what was on the other side of the window.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Maria said, petting the glass as though she could touch the baby through it.

“Yeah, I guess,” Michael replied skeptically, leaning forward and looking at the baby intently.

She elbowed him in the ribs, and he hissed, she kept her tone light as she spoke, “ All babies are beautiful, Michael.”

“I still think ‘beautiful’ is a stretch,” he said, almost laughing.

“Well, you’d think she was beautiful if she was yours,” she retorted, the laugh that had been building in her chest dying in her throat as she saw the look that crossed his face.

Wordlessly, she turned and started for the elevators.

***

“Where are you going?” she asked as he drove onto the freeway, turning his wipers up a notch so that he could see through the rain.

“I’m taking you home,” he replied, glancing her way.

“Oh,” she whispered.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as she slipped off the sandals she was wearing and brought her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs. She was the only person he’d ever seen do this in a car before, and it fascinated him.

“I’m sorry about before,” she broke the silence.

She was sorry? He looked at her quickly, “Sorry for what?”

“The baby remark, that was stupid, I’m sorry.”

He glanced her way again. She was looking out the window, her cheek now laid against her knee.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he said quickly, wishing he hadn’t gotten his hopes up that she might apologize for leaving that morning.

“No, there is. I hate that look that you get, and it’s ten times worse if it’s because I brought it up,” her words came out in a rush.

That irritated him. She wanted to paint it as though she’d thought she was pregnant on purpose, to hurt him or something.

“Look, I don’t see why you have to act like you did that on your own or something. It takes two to tango, believe me, I was there,” he didn’t try to keep the anger out of his voice.

“What are you talking about?” she lifted her head up and looked at him.

“What do you think I’m talking about? I’m talking about you acting as though you being pregnant was somehow entirely your doing, and entirely your problem,” he’d wanted to say it for a while. It had bothered him, but the majority of his anger at the moment was stemming from the fact that she could just walk away from him, without a word.

“Did you think that was what I was talking about?” she asked him, her voice sounding slightly confused.

He glanced her way, “Well, yeah. Isn’t that what you were talking about?”

“No,” she shook her head sharply. “I thought you got that look because of Isabel…”

That hadn’t even occurred to him. If he’d gotten a look, it was because the only woman he could ever picture being the mother of his children didn’t want him in her life.

“No,” he shook his head just as sharply as she was shaking hers, “I told you, that’s all in the past. What do you think, that I’m still stuck on her? I’m not, that ship has sailed. Now that I look back on it, I can’t imagine ever having a life with her, it seems so…so – I don’t know, warped now.”

“Oh,” she said softly, and he saw her put her cheek back against her knee as she turned to look out the window again.

“ Oh,” he repeated after her sarcastically.

“So, um…” her voice trailed off.

“What?” he asked, trying to return his voice to a normal tone.

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

“What is it?”

“Can you take me back to the diner?” she asked.

“Why?”

“I just-can you just do it? It’s not like it’s out of your way.”

“Fine,” he muttered, exiting the freeway and crossing the overpass to re-enter and go back the other way.

“So…” she started to speak again. She must have something she wanted to say.

“So?” he prompted her.

She swallowed loud enough for him to hear, “So, what would you have done, then?”

“Done about what?”

“Me. If I’d been…well, you know. What would you have done?”

That wasn’t something he’d been expecting. He was completely blind-sided by her question.

“I’d have bought you that big old house with the porch, and picked up a station wagon, and we’d have had a couple more kids.”

It was a simple answer to a simple question, but he wished he’d had a little more time to think about it before it came out of his mouth.

The silence in the car was deafening, and he wished with everything he had that he could take it back. This was sure to mean eternal awkwardness between them.

He didn’t dare look at her. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that she was staring at him. To avoid her, he kept his eyes solidly on the road, and gripped the wheel tightly with his hands.

***

She wasn’t sure she’d heard him right, but she was afraid to ask him to repeat himself. He didn’t seem affected at all, he just kept driving, acting as if he hadn’t just said what he did.

Now, she was confused again. Did he really want something with her? Was he just saying that?

While, she didn’t want the kids, or the house, or the station wagon yet, she was becoming keenly aware that she wanted him. Life might be peachy, but it wasn’t everything that it could be. Maybe he was weird, and maybe her brother didn’t like him – maybe nobody liked him – but, he was the only one that would do for her. She’d tried to avoid him, only to find that he’d become so embedded in her life she didn’t know what she’d do if he weren’t there.

Michael pulled to a stop in front of his building, and they sat there for a moment before he opened his door and stepped out into the rain. She put her feet down and slid them into her sandals, then quickly crossed the street and entered the diner. Once she was inside, she glanced back out through the door to see him standing in the entryway of his building, hands in his pockets as the rain poured down on him, watching after her.

Turning away, she seated herself at the counter, leaning her elbows on it, and resting her head in her hands.

“ Maria?”

She looked up to see Liz headed in her direction. There wasn’t a reason for her to be there, she’d just wanted to stay close to him, so she’d told him she wanted to go back to the diner. It would be just her luck that Liz was working.

“Hey, Liz,” she grinned sheepishly as her friend walked over. “I’m sorry about not getting in touch with you after the messages…”

Liz gave her a knowing little smile, “Uh huh, two weeks of messages, Maria?”

“I suck,” Maria ducked her head, “I’m sorry, I’m the worst friend. I just, I knew that you’d have questions, you even left some of them on the machine…did I mention that I suck?”

Laughing softly, Liz turned away and came back a second later with a steamy cup of hot chocolate for her, as she leaned forward and let a wry smile curl onto her lips, “So, did anyone tell you about what happened with Max?”

“What happened with Max?” Maria asked curiously as she took a sip, she was grateful now that Liz was here, glad for a distraction.

“We broke up,” Liz stated cleanly, her face showing very little emotion.

Maria nearly choked, “ What?”

“We broke up,” her friend said again.

“But, I thought you two were getting married,” Maria was stunned, almost as stunned as she had been about the engagement.

Shaking her head slowly, Liz let out a sigh, then smiled sadly, “We were sitting in his kitchen, eating breakfast. I told him I’d like to start looking for a place to live, because it would probably take a while to find one. He, well…you should have seen his face, Maria. Suddenly, he was stammering, and saying that looking for a place together was a major commitment.”

“Commitment?” Maria asked, feeling a little puzzled. “Weren’t you two engaged?”

“That’s what I said. I couldn’t believe he wanted to marry me if he hadn’t even considered us finding a place together, it just felt…wrong.”

Maria stared at her friend for a few moments, “So, is it over?”

“I don’t know,” Liz said as she stood and straightened her apron, “I’d like to think that there’s still hope, but I’m really hurt.”

Nodding, Maria looked down at her cup of hot chocolate, trying to find something to say.

“I’m so sorry, Liz.”

“Thanks,” her friend said. “Hey, life goes on.”

Glancing up at the brunette, Maria realized that Liz’s life probably would go on. Her friend loved Max, but she’d get over it. Max probably loved her, but the idea of the future scared him. Alex and Isabel were in love, and committed, but things still got in the way – sacrifices had to be made to make it work. People weren’t just walking around finding perfect happiness left and right - it was one of those rare, elusive things that you had to take when it came your way and hold onto with both hands.

“Liz,” she said in a rush as she stood and reached into her purse for her wallet, “I’m sorry, I have to run. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we’ll get ice cream,” she pulled out a dollar and laid it on the counter and turned toward the door, “and we’ll rent some videos and have a girl’s night, ok?”

Her friend was looking at her strangely and nodding as she walked out into the rain. Halfway across the street, she started to turn back.

There was a good chance that things weren’t what she thought they were, and there was an even better chance that things wouldn’t work.

She was just getting herself on track, finally doing what she wanted to do, finally going where she wanted to go.

Standing there in the middle of the street, she knew without a doubt that this probably wasn’t the best thing for her.

Turning, she looked back at the diner. The rain was running into her eyes, and she swallowed hard, willing herself to look back at his building.

It didn’t really matter what was best, or what she thought she should do. She wanted him.

***

He didn’t know what to think when he heard the knocking on his door.

Tossing the brush he’d been holding in his hand onto the floor, he started across the room. The knocking got more insistent, and was practically pounding by the time he opened the door.

She was completely rain soaked, and her teeth were chattering lightly. He couldn’t think of a word of protest as she pushed past him and walked into the main room.

“Ok,” he murmured, closing the door and turning to face her. The only light that was on in the place was the one in his studio corner, and it was making her face shadowed and difficult for him to see anything but the outline of her body.

Standing in front of her, he waited for her to speak, but she didn’t. She just stood there, shivering, dripping on the hardwood. Then, the sneezing started. Slow at first, then one after another. They were shaking her body and bending her in half. Thinking quickly, he swept her up into his arms and started to carry her upstairs. He thought she would protest, try to stop him, tell him she was fine, but she didn’t. She let him carry her, didn’t say a word as he laid her out on his bed and carefully pulled off the nylon windbreaker, her shoes, her jeans and tucked her into his down comforter.

He laid down next to her, and her eyes watched him carefully as he did. Eventually, she warmed, the shivering stopped and so did the sneezing. Her eyes closed softly, and she fell asleep.

Somehow, she’d found her way into his bed again. He wasn’t sure how, or why, but here she was. Slowly, he pulled away from her, not wanting to disturb her, and went back downstairs to put away his paint.

He was nearly finished, and ready to go back up to her when he turned to see that she was standing there, watching him. She’d pulled on a pair of his pajama bottoms, and rolled the waist and the cuffs. The sweater she was wearing he also recognized as his own. Seeing her in his clothes like that was a major turn on for some reason.

Her arms crossed after he stood looking at her for a few moments, and then she looked down at her feet, “Would you have done that for just any girl that you got pregnant?”

It was just the way that she was. Impossible to figure, always surprising.

“Huh?”

“What you said,” she let her arms hand down at her sides, the sleeves of his sweater covering her tiny hands, “in the car. Would you do that for just anybody?”

“No.”

“Is there anyone you would do it for?” she asked, looking up into his eyes.

“You.”

“You haven’t just been f*cking me…have you?” her voice sounded small, and she was looking down at her feet again.

He didn’t like her choice of terms, but he didn’t say anything about it, just shook his head and said, “No.”

She shivered, and took a step toward him, “Michael?”

It wasn’t as if he could look away from her. When she brought her head up and took another step, he braced himself.

Her hands touched his chest, made their way up, over his shoulders, and then met at the back of his neck where she let his hair curl around her fingers. She raised herself up on her tiptoes, and pulled down with her hands, until his lips touched hers.

He kissed her back, kissed her hard. His hands grabbed her ass, and pulled her up until her legs were wrapped around his waist.

After a few minutes, they found themselves on the sofa, half clothed, ready to do what they did best.

Just because she was back again didn’t mean she was going to stay, and he knew that.

“Are you gonna’ leave again?” he asked as he pulled away from her lips for a moment.

“What?” she asked, trying to pull him back down to her.

“Are you going to leave me again?” he repeated more forcefully, pulling away from her completely and sitting back on the other side of the sofa.

“ No,” she shook her head, looking confused.

“So, you’re telling me that you’re not going to sleep with me tonight, and then just disappear again in the morning?”

“Did that…” she looked at him, cocking her head to the side, “were you really upset that I left?”

“Yeah,” he was a little angry that she seemed so surprised.

“I didn’t mean to…to hurt you,” she said softly, watching him carefully.

He raised his eyebrows and watched her face, wondering if she meant it.

“Why me, Michael?”

Oh, she was full of surprises tonight.

“What?” he asked, trying to look confused.

“You know what I mean,” her voice was husky as she moved across the sofa to wrap her arms around his neck again.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You ask me all of the time,” she whispered into his ear.

“You never answer me.”

“I answered you once,” she said simply as she started to suck on the tender flesh of his neck.

“You haven’t answered me since,” he countered.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes, she seemed surprised that he knew she’d answered him.

He looked into her eyes for a long time, and she didn’t look away. She met his gaze, and as her hand began to stroke his cheek, her look softened into the one that he lived for. The one that said she thought he was the greatest thing in the world.

His passion couldn’t be contained as he leaned in to kiss her again.

She wasn’t going anywhere. Later, he’d ask her ‘why’.

 

The End