
The Return Home
Feedback: Please.
He
sat back at the couch and turned down the volume of the television. Mutely, one
of the best plays of the season unfolded on the screen, but he did not mind
missing the screaming of the fans in the stadium, or the howling from the other
side, where fans of the visiting team agonized. Other sounds were more important
at this particular hour of the day.
He
heard the key slide into the lock and the door squeal softly as it opened. Faint
footsteps accompanied the quiet song she sang as she carried the groceries
inside. “You hungry, Spaceboy?”
Michael
grinned at the question. It was almost harsh, but that was just Maria. If she
asked it sweetly he would have been worried. Maria hardly allowed herself to go
all “soulmatey,” unlike Max and Liz with the soulful looks and hearts
bleeding in full view. In so many ways love for the two of them seemed so much
more. After all, they had a private sort of communication beyond the way they
appeared. What they felt seemed that much more intimate because they held back.
“Kinda.
You’re late.” He stood up and went around her so he could hold her while she
removed the groceries from the bag. “What happened?”
“Just
a slight snag with two guys on the road.” The arms around her waist tightened,
and she put down the cans she had been holding, turned around and looked him in
the eyes. “It was nothing to worry about.”
“You
sure?” he asked gruffly.
“Yeah.
Don’t you go off being a superhero again and running off in some demented
logic of defending me. We had a fender bender. Nothing more. Besides, dinner
will get cold and you’ll get your shirt stained.”
He
let out a snorted breath. “Anything I can help you with?”
“Can
I get a welcome home kiss? Work was pissy today.”
“Mine
was too.”
Maria
shrugged. “So you can kiss me to make me feel better, and I’ll do the same
for you.”
“Balance
each other’s freakish days out,” he continued for her. At her nod, his head
dipped to take her lips, and she felt her pressing back on his.
He
lifted his mouth and stared down at hers, moist and red from the kiss. He closed
his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“You’re
welcome. Now start peeling the tomatoes. We’re running late.”
Michael
walked to the living room and turned off the television. A moment later he
returned, picking up the bag and washing the bulbs before taking a seat on the
table, paring and cubing. Every so often he would glance up to see Maria
stacking the groceries inside the cupboards and putting some in the
refrigerator. After that, she folded the bags and put them inside the sink
drawer. Later, while she was boiling the meat, she met his eyes and gave him a
lopsided grin.
~~
They
were seated in the living room couch. His arm was thrown over her shoulders as
they watched the game. Dinner was on her lap, and she stabbed at the red meat
and brought it to her lips. Michael took the fork from her and stuffed his mouth
with beef and potatoes.
“So
where did the mean pitcher go?”
Michael
was chewing and mumbled something incoherently. Maria was about to ask him to
repeat his answer when the phone rang. She immediately stood up and gave the
plate to Michael. “Hand me the glass.” He did, and she drank before walking
across the room to answer.
“Hello.”
The television went mute again, and Maria smiled her thanks. “Oh well hello.
Yep. Right here. We’re having dinner. How’s New Mexico? Really? Yeah, no
problem. Okay. I will. Bye.”
“What
did he want?” Michael asked. He, Max and Isabel were three aliens who lost the
chance to go home a few years ago. Michael had chosen to stay; Max and Isabel
were forced when they discovered that Tess, Max’s supposed mate, betrayed
them.
“He
was saying hello. He wanted to talk to you, but he said he’d call back after
dinner.” She settled back quietly beside him and rested her head on his chest.
“It sounded important,” she muttered after a while.
“Hey,”
Michael said. He moved her so that she would meet his eyes. “You sound
worried.”
“Shouldn’t
I be?”
Michael
turned the television completely off now, and placed the plate on the table in
front of them. “It’s been five years, Maria. Have I ever given you a reason
to believe that I’m just going to leave you?” She shook her head.
“Besides, there is no way for me to disappear remember? Tess took the only
ticket back.” Maria smiled just to drop the subject. “Okay now?” She
nodded. When Michael returned to watching the game, her mind drifted back to
Roswell.
~~
“Are
you going to tell him?”
“He
deserves to know, Iz.”
Isabel
took a deep breath. “Max, he made his choice a long time ago. He wanted to
stay on Earth with her. Why should you throw his life upside down again? I say
we decide for ourselves if we’re going to use it. And then leave or stay upon
our individual choices.”
“Isabel,
how are we going to do what we need to do if we’re not complete? We’re all
linked. We need each other. That’s why we were sent here, remember?”
“I
just don’t think it’s fair for you to do this to him. You know he’s not
like us.”
“He
is like us, Isabel! That’s why we need to be together.”
“You
don’t understand!” Isabel threw her hands up. “He’s temperamental.
He’s volatile. He’s got a lot going on inside. Even if he’s made up his
mind, you’re going to throw him into all this confusion if you broach the
subject.”
“Tell
me what’s not fair, Iz. Letting him decide for himself or keeping the
knowledge to ourselves when he has as much right to know?”
Isabel
grabbed the cordless phone from the hook and dialed a number. She tossed the
receiver to Max. “There. If you insist on ruining Michael’s life from miles
away, then I insist you ruin yours first,” she demanded coldly.
Max
raised the phone to his ear and listened. “Hello. Liz Parker here.”
“Liz,”
he said. He looked up at Isabel and saw her facing him with her chin raised
proudly. She was every bit the arrogant and beautiful princess that she was. Max
could not believe how far she had gotten from her past, yet how little of her
changed. He, on the other hand, had become more and more determined to return
ever since Tess left carrying his son. They have all undergone serious overhaul
during the last years. Where Michael had once been on a blind, desperate mission
to leave, he was now the one most firmly planted here. And he, Max Evans, who
had always loved his family here on Earth, his soulmate from school, had become
the sole hunter for another way. Isabel was daring him, he could see, from the
burning light in her eyes. He was king. He would not back away. “Liz, we’ve
finally found another way to go back.”
Max
did not know why. Isabel had dared him, challenging his strength of will and
determination. Why then did she suddenly look so disappointed when he was able
to tell Liz?
~~
Michael
put down the phone and numbly walked to the bedroom. Maria was already sleeping.
He crawled in beside her and she did not even stir. She really must have been
exhausted from work. Warmth suffused his heart, the first feeling he actually
had since hearing Max Evans words on the phone.
He
drew Maria close to him and kissed the top of her head. He did not expect to
sleep, because that one call from his best friend would change his life. But he
was tired, physically and emotionally. Soon he was sleeping a restless, fitful,
dream-filled slumber.
~~
She
was astounding in her loveliness. He had been through their entire world and he
had never seen anyone so beautiful. At first, he had thought that there was no
creature lovelier than his commander’s betrothed. He had been there when the
two were introduced in that ball. At once he understood how a man as great as
him, a man who would be king, was entranced with her.
But
that was before he met her again, after all those years. Before he went to war
as the commander’s second in command, Vilandra was young, much like a sister
to him. And so when he saw her again, he was caught in her tender, silky web.
They
had kissed under the moonlight. He had always been envied his position in life
by all the other males in the empire. But he was never prouder than he was at
that moment. Vilandra came to his arms willingly, and assented to the betrothal.
This creature, the loveliest in the land, the Princess, was promised to her.
Vilandra
was not a shy miss. She gloried in her beauty much as she gloried in her
station. She played with men much like she was fantastic in the board game so
popular to their people. The last night that he and the prince spent in the
palace, before they left for another war, he could sense Vilandra watching his
every move. Females were drawn to him, because they appreciated all that he was
touted to be. They were even more amazed to see him in person.
That
night Vilandra had gone to his chambers and gave herself to him in all her
golden glory. As he thought to himself that he had made the conquest, Vilandra
had made him promise that he was hers, and only hers. She left on his arm a love
bite that did not come off for several moons after, branding him as her
property, the way she branded her precious stones and carved at the side of her
favorite furniture.
Michael
saw himself standing at the cliff where Tess had told Max he first saw her. A
green moon hung overhead, and half the sky to the left, hung another moon. His
arms and weapons were placed down at the side, and he sat down on a boulder to
rest. And then Vilandra approached him again. He wondered how she had gone from
the palace to here, half a planet away. Only this time it did not appear as
though it was Vilandra standing before him. Gone was the gleaming malice in her
eyes. Her eyes were full of affection, and she smiled at him. “Iz,” he said.
He
thought he heard her say something, but he caught only the words, “Destinies,
Michael.”
And
her arms extended to him, out of nowhere, a wriggling bundle that gurgled and
kicked. Left with no choice, he accepted it and looked down at the infant, whose
eyes were so much like his own. His throat tightened at the feel of life held
within his arms. Finally, he found what he was looking for, where he belonged.
Home.
~~
Michael
reared from the bed, and found Maria sitting up already, looking at him
worriedly. She turned for a moment and handed him a glass of water. “What’s
wrong, Michael?”
“Nothing.
Nothing’s wrong.” He placed the glass on the side table after he swallowed
most of the contents. He then wrapped her in his arms tightly, and closed his
eyes when he felt her wrap him in her embrace. “God, Maria, I love you,” he
said.
They
stayed there, embracing for the longest while. And then it was Maria who pulled
away, and faced him with her green eyes swimming in tears. “You can go,
Michael,” she said softly.
“Maria—“
“I
know there’s only one reason for Max to speak like that, and for you to be
feeling like this. Don’t make yourself suffer on my account. Leave. Look for
what you’ve always wanted.”
“I
can’t do this to you,” he said, unsure.
Maria
shook her head. “Don’t think about me,” she told him firmly. “Just
promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“If
what you’re looking for isn’t there, then come back to me.”
Liz
could not wait to see Maria. She heard from Isabel that her best friend and her
longtime boyfriend Michael were returning to town today after settling down
south. It probably held so many pleasant memories for them that they chose to go
that way. Liz was thrilled at the prospect of seeing Maria again. She missed her
best friend, but she knew that Maria would be happier by far with Michael out
there, far from the reminders that he was meant to leave, that at any given
moment, he would be called upon to support his leader and go to a place neither
Liz nor Maria could imagine.
She
felt that Maria’s decision had been a sound one. Liz knew Maria would have
been driven insane had she stayed. Maria would be at the edge of her seat every
time Max stared, and Max would stare. Liz had seen the way Max turned into some
soft of desperado after his son dreamwalked him. He told her about it. It
happened before Max drew away from her. In fact, Liz suspected it was the main
reason he changed suddenly.
It
was not much of a dreamwalk. They exchanged no words really. It just so happened
that Max was dreaming of the day he and Liz were walking together to the gym
after Biology. And then this boy, who Max just knew was his son, walked through
the corridor. That was all. And that , also, was everything.
“What
time would she arrive? Did she say?”
Isabel’s
head dropped onto the table. “For the twenty eighth time, Elizabeth Parker,
they are due to arrive noon.”
“But
that’s like, right now!” Isabel rolled her eyes heavenward. “Sorry,
Isabel. I’m just really looking forward to it,” she grinned.
Liz
looked up to see Max stroll into the diner, just in time. He would never come
here too late. No, not the prompt, ever disciplined leader of the Pod Squad. And
he would never come in too early either. He was all business, and would not
waste his precious time chatting. Besides, she might even walk over to him and
decide to talk. Talk, of all things! Nope. Max Evans had no time for idle
chatter with someone he used to date but is casting away.
She
muttered an, “Excuse me,” to Isabel and stood up to leave.
“Liz.”
She
walked on, pretending not to have head.
“Liz!”
he said, louder and sharper this time.
“What,
Max?” she finally demanded, eyes blazing. “Are you going to tell me anything
new, anything I don’t know?” Max kept quiet. “I thought so.” And then
she entered the kitchen.
~~
It
was already noon when Maria drove them into Roswell. Since the sun was high,
there were not a lot of people milling about. She squinted her eyes at the sun
glaring into her eyes. Noticing this Michael reached out to pull the visor down,
and she gave him a lopsided grin of thanks.
“Oh
don’t thank me. I knew what I was in for when I went and got involved with a
blonde,” he teased.
“Very
funny, Michael. I know the reason you’re hooked with me is coz you couldn’t
resist my eraser room charms,” she retorted.
“Yeah
you were always a good kisser,” he admitted.
She
waited for the rest of the flattery, but when none came her eyebrow arched and
she prodded, “And?”
“Huh?”
“And
what, Michael? I must be more than that,” she said as they pulled into an
empty parking space in front of the Crashdown.
“Oh
of course!” Maria smiled in satisfaction. “You’ve got fantastic legs.
Every guy gets jealous when we walk into a room together, especially when
you’re wearing something short.”
“Ah,
you asshole!”
“You
love it.”
“Yeah,
coz I’m blonde.”
“Ouch.”
Michael stepped out of the passenger seat and hurried over to Maria’s side as
she unbuckled her seatbelt. He opened the door, and watched fondly how her legs
stretched to the pavement. Maria caught his eyes and blushed. No matter how many
years they’ve been together, the thrill of knowing that she held such an
attraction for him would never leave her.
“Thanks.
I’ll hold the door open for you next time,” she teased. She knew Michael
didn’t feel at ease when she commented on the little habit he developed during
their time together. In answer Michael chucked her chin affectionately.
Marveling at the blush rushing up his cheeks, she continued, “And to think
that I was the one catering to you hand and foot when I was chasing after
you.”
“Don’t
remind me of that,” he mumbled. “I was a first class jerk.”
“No.
You were just Michael,” she said softly.
“I
don’t know whether to be offended or pleased.”
Maria
stood on the tips of her toes and pulled him down for a quick kiss. When she
turned to go into the diner, he caught her arm. She looked back at him askance,
and he shrugged. “You know last few months I worried whether or not we’re
getting stagnant, that we’re not in love like we were.”
“Oh
Michael,” she exclaimed quietly, hurting. “Don’t think that. It’s just
that we’ve been so much involved in our lives these five years. We don’t see
ourselves as anything else. Maybe if we had a fight, or broken up, or been mad
at each other even once after we got back together that time with Billy, it
would have been exciting, and—“
He
shushed her with a finger on her lips. “That doesn’t matter now. What I
wanted to say, before you interrupted me the way you keep doing every time I
have an important announcement, is that even though I worried that there
wasn’t much excitement anymore, or that we’ve fallen out of love and just
staying together because that’s all we know… Well, that looks so stupid
after this ride, because I realized the moment we drove in, and I saw you just
like the way you were when I abducted you in high school,” he said with a
faint smile, “I cannot remember a time when I was more in love with you.”
Maria
bit her lip, and even though her eyes grew moist, she swallowed and said,
“God, I hate it when we go all sentimental!” And then she hooked her arms
around his neck and pulled him down. When their lips met, Michael’s hands
cupped her bottom, and he lifted her for a lingering, and very gentle kiss.
Moments passed, but neither was aware until an overwhelming need for air possessed them. Reluctantly they pulled away, and Maria rested her forehead over the erratic beating of his heart and she tried to draw in oxygen to feed her starving lungs. She felt Michael drop a kiss on the top of her head. His chest rumbled when he spoke. “Let’s go inside.”
~~
Maria
and Michael entered the diner, and spotted Isabel and Max instantly. She felt
him draw a deep breath, and she closed her hand around his firmly. She fought
the urge to grab it tight and not let go. He looked down at her, and she thought
she saw a flicker in his eyes, as though he was waiting for him to ask that he
stay with her. But she did not want to hold him back. She smiled and whispered,
“Have fun catching up,” although she knew it was not pleasantries he would
be sharing.
“You
too.”
They
parted there. She, to go to her best friend at the bar. He, to the table where
his… brother and sister were.
“What
are you planning to do, Max?” he asked his friend.
“Do
you have to ask, for someone who’s devoted his life to finding that way to get
home?” Max’s voice was quiet, his gaze intense.
“I’m
not sure that I want to,” Michael replied carefully.
“That’s
bullshit, Michael!”
Isabel
winced at the tone of her brother’s voice. “Max, just listen to the guy
first.”
“Listen
to yourself. Just remember everything you told me when I fell for Liz. I knew it
wasn’t a good idea to let you go off with Maria out of New Mexico. Is she
giving you a hard time?” he demanded. Max’s gaze shifted to the bar, where
Maria and Liz were laughing together. Liz saw him looking at them, and sent him
a scathing glare.
“Leave
her out of this.”
“Why?
She’s the one who insisted on getting involved in the first place.” Michael
shook his head, as though disgusted. “Can’t you see how I’m just throwing
everything you said back onto your face?” Max asked calmly.
“Look,”
Michael explained, “Maria just wants me to find my destiny. I’m just not
sure where it is anymore.”
“You
know where your destiny is, Michael.”
“Do
I?”
“You’ve
known it since you were a child.”
“If
that’s my destiny then I’m not sure if I want to follow it anymore.”
“It’s
written in the stars.”
Isabel
shook her head. “You’re crazy, Max. Get up. I’m getting out of this
conversation.” Max slid off the booth and allowed Isabel to pass. He opened
his mouth, but Isabel beat him to it. “I’ll be back when you’ve settled
this. I will not watch a verbal pingpong then be asked to break a tie.” She
walked over to where Liz and Maria were animatedly catching up.
“Look,
Max. I refuse to accept that I am a slave to my destiny.” He followed Isabel
with his gaze. When she sat next to Maria, his eyes shifted.
Max
could see the way Michael physically looked softer when he watched his
girlfriend, so he tried a different tact. “I can see why you’re crazy about
the girl.” Michael’s gaze snapped back to his friend. “She’s
beautiful.”
Despite
his teasing remarks to Maria about how much she had going for her earlier in the
car, Michael told Max, “She’s gorgeous. And she’s got the biggest heart in
the world. She’s talented. And she’s forgiving.”
“Perfect,”
Max summed up. Michael nodded. “You think she’s destined for greatness?”
“I
know it.”
“And
what’s she doing now?” Michael’s jaw tightened, and again he looked over
at Maria. “Last I heard she’s a secretary at some law office.” Michael
refused to comment. “Hearing her, seeing her, I would have thought she’d be
big deal right now. But I’ve not seen anything at the record store that’s
got Maria de Luca on it.”
“She’s
a big deal to me, Max.”
Max
nodded. “But do you think she’s a big deal to herself? Can you live with the
fact that you’re keeping her from her dreams, Michael? Billy was right, you
know. She’s talented. And I know she’s stuck right where she is now because
of us.” He refrained from saying ‘you,’ but he knew Michael would process
it as such.
“What
do you mean?”
“She
wants to keep a low profile. She knows too much attention on her would reflect
on you. Michael, Maria is hiding in the shadows with you, because you can
survive only in shadow.”
Michael
could think of no fitting reply. It was lame, overused, but it was all he knew
that would balance everything out in his mind. “I love her.”
“Then
think about it. I’ll give you until tomorrow.” Max stood and counted some
bills to leave on the table. Before he left, he laid his hand on Michael’s
back. “Personally, I think she deserves to shine in the light.”
Maria
watched Max leave Michael, and saw how her boyfriend’s shoulders
uncharacteristically slumped. She wondered what Max told him, and how she would
fix it.
“I’ll
see you at home, Isabel,” Max called to her sister before he was out the door.
Maria
approached Michael with a smile, knowing he needed as much brightness as she
could provide after seeing Max and facing again memories of a destiny he had
chosen to abandon the quest for years ago. “Hey,” she greeted. She placed
the glass of softdrinks before him. “Have some Coke.”
Michael
looked at her as she sat down in front of him. He squeezed her hand. “Sing to
me tonight, Maria, before we sleep.”
While
Maria was in the bathroom that night, Michael dialed Isabel’s number. It was
Jesse who answered the call, and upon hearing who was on the line, his voice
tensed and hardened. “Isabel’s having a difficult time right now,” the
lawyer told him. “Don’t keep forcing her, because she’s going to decide
this by herself.” Michael was surprised at Jesse’s answer. He had known for
sometime that Jesse Ramirez had found out about the three of them, and decided
to turn a blind eye to it because of his feelings for Isabel. He had never known
Jesse to take an active part, much less a protective part, on Isabel’s alien
origins.
“I
know, Jesse. So am I. You’re confusing me with Max,” Michael replied calmly.
“I have as much reason to want to stay here as Isabel. Maybe more. Now put her
on the line.”
When
the phone was passed to her, Isabel held on to it tightly. “What did Max tell
you, Michael?” she demanded. “I saw the way you looked when he left. I know
Max can be hard at times. Ruthless when he wants to.”
“Let’s
face it,” Michael told her. “Max has more to think about, with a child lost
there somewhere.”
“If
we help him find his son, we lose people we love.” Michael did not answer.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Maria leave the bathroom and go into their
bedroom. “What if our destiny really lies out there, Michael, and we gave it
up because we were too scared? How can Max be this selfish?”
Selfish.
The word brought to mind an entirely different image, a whole new face, and it
was not Max Evans holding on to his child at the expense of his sister and best
friend that he saw. It was himself, kissing Maria, holding her so tenderly in
his arms that she never wanted to leave, and the sun was behind him, his broad
back blocking the light from her. “Isabel, I’m going.”
“What?”
“We
all have paths to follow, and I’m not keeping anyone from his happiness.”
“You
mean Max?” she asked.
“Him
too.”
“What?”
“Listen,
Iz. I have to go. I’m not wasting my last night here talking to you on the
phone about your crazy brother. Just… whatever you decide, Iz, I will never
think different of you.”
The
pause was long, and Michael began to wonder if Isabel had hung up. “Okay,”
the young woman said slowly, “I think I should say my goodbyes to my
husband.”
“Isabel—“
Michael began to protest, but Isabel cut him off.
“Together,
Michael, remember? We promised. We owe it to Max, to Antar. To ourselves.” And
then she hung up the phone.
Michael
stared at the receiver for the longest time, before replacing it on the hook.
Just like that, he had destroyed Jesse Ramirez’s future.
He
turned back towards the bedroom, this time to destroy his heart.
~~
Michael
took off his shoes and climbed into bed. He watched Maria brushing her hair in
front of the dresser. The blonde strands hung like a lovely silk scarf down her
back, and he smiled at memories of running his fingers through it. His hands
have been blessed for the most amazing half decade. His fingers have run through
that hair when it was short, and the tendrils sprung free easily and quickly,
like a child that would not allow himself to be held when he could go and play.
His fingers have run through that hair when it was long, down to the small of
her back, and the ends curled around his wrists gently but surely, possessing
him, almost not wanting to let him go. His fingers have run through her hair
when it was straight, and down to her upper arms. At that time he could remember
that he needed more, just like when it was long, but the hair was short enough
that he could not get enough, and he kept wishing she would grow it. She was
hesitant.
Now
Michael could just wish she would move closer to him, so he could touch her
again. He wanted to breathe her in, not just her the scent of her hair, or the
fragrance of her skin. He wanted to breathe in Maria, so he wouldn’t miss her
when he left, because then, she’d be in his bloodstream, and he would take her
with him.
“Michael,”
came the quiet voice, “we’ve been together for years. We’ve been living
together, loving each other the way I see husbands and wives do, and only one
thing is missing. Why didn’t you ever marry me, Michael?”
She
did not sound accusing, or angry. But Michael could hear the hurt and pain in
every word. He was off the bed and standing behind her, looking into her
reflection in the mirror. “Because no matter how much I wished that I didn’t
have to leave, I knew that sooner or later my past would catch up with me. I
didn’t want to tie you to me that much and that finally only to hurt you.”
She
whirled around and faced him, looking up with blazing eyes. “That’s nothing
but crap! Do I look like I’m not hurting?” she demanded. “Isn’t it clear
to you that it IS too late for that? I’m already in love with you, that much,
that finally,” she emphasized. And then her voice fell a few notches,
softening, and it hit him with more helplessness and sadness than if she had
dissolved into tears and yelled the words to him. “Don’t you know, Michael,
that I would have wanted to know that sometime in my life, somewhere in the
universe, you had been mine, only mine? Not Antar’s, not Max’s, not
Isabel’s. Just mine.”
Michael
was quiet. He looked down at her and he knew that she was fighting her damnedest
to hold back the tears that were pooling in her upturned eyes. “What if it
were just for one night?” he asked.
He
knelt before her, so she would not have to crane her neck. She followed him with
her gaze, and in the process the tears spilled over. “Even one second.”
“I’ll
give you the entire night, and the morning after, until the last second I’m
here. If you want me.”
“What
do you mean?” Maria asked breathlessly.
Michael
pulled from her finger the ring he had been wearing ever since they met. He had
never taken it off since he got it, and unencumbered by the metal, he felt
something missing from him. He held it up between their faces and turned it
around. “I’m sorry I can give you only this. Marry me,” he said.
And
then she began to sob. Maria, who never let anyone see her crying. Maria, who
would rather turn away and leave rather than throw a hissing fit when he told
her that he could not get intense, and that she was only good for kissing.
Maria, who always smiled at him like he was heaven and she had died. Maria
cried. And Maria threw her arms around his neck and cried, “Oh my God, I
should have known even in proposing you’d be ordering me around!”
She
stood up and ran to the closet, throwing the clothes they had only that
afternoon unpacked out on the bed. She checked each and every one, and Michael
shifted on his knees worriedly. “Maria, what are you doing?”
“Looking
for clothes to get married in!” He let out an audible breath and stood up,
caught the pants and shirt she threw at him. “What?” she asked.
“The
answer is yes then?”
“What?”
“Yes,
you’re marrying me? Coz you never did answer.”
“Michael…
it’s me remember?” When he still seemed unsure, she squealed, “YES!”
Uncharacteristically,
Michael threw down the clothes on the floor and strode over to her across the
room. He grabbed her into his tight embrace and did not kiss her. He just buried
his face in her neck. And Maria felt a trickle of warm wetness there on her
shoulders.
An
hour later, she turned the key into the lock and stepped into the dark house.
But Michael caught her arm to stop her. “What is it?” she smiled up at him.
“We’re
still newlyweds, you know. Even without the tons of white cloth and tux,” he
reminded her. Easily, he lifted her in his arms and crossed the
‘threshold’—a Welcome mat that had not been washed since Amy de Luca
married Jim Valenti three years ago. Michael faked a groan at her weight, and
she slapped his shoulders merrily. When he headed for the bedroom, she pointed
to the kitchen.
“We
need to go have our wedding dinner!” So Michael took them to the kitchen and
reluctantly put her down. “Sit,” she commanded.
“Maria,
we didn’t exactly bring anything with us. We were not planning on staying here
after all.”
Maria
lifted a finger to shush him. “It just so happens we do have a romantic,
utterly delicious wedding dinner.” She went to the counter and took the brown
paper bag. Curiously, Michael craned his neck to watch, but she blocked his
gaze. Finally, she turned around, with a plate of Saturn Rings and burgers.
“Crashdown take out,” she announced with a wry grin. “Where it all
began.” He expected her to sit with him then, but she went back to the counter
and returned to him with another plate. “Let’s cut the wedding cake,
Michael.”
His
eyebrow arched at the knife she wielded. “Men in Blackberry Pie?”
Together
they laughed, and Michael assumed his position behind Maria as they cut the pie
into bite sized slices. She took a fork and started to shovel some into
Michael’s mouth. Swallowing, he stayed her hand when she made to feed him some
more. “Maria,” he started. “I know this wasn’t how you dreamed it.”
“What
isn’t?” she asked as her smile slowly faded.
“Your
wedding.”
“Well
it’s not everything I dreamed of,” she conceded. “But at least we got one
thing right.”
“The
threshold bit?”
“Nah.
I didn’t exactly fantasize of you moaning about my weight as we crossed the
doorway of the De Luca residence.”
“Then
what?”
Her
smile was bright, and it instantly suffused him with warmth. “The groom.”
Michael closed his eyes and chuckled. “I’ve made up all these fantasy
weddings in my mind, you know. In the St. Patrick’s Cathedral, in some
fortress in Scotland, in the Colorado mountains, out in the open desert,
underwater…” She laughed. “But always there was one constant. That was
you.”
Michael
wrapped her in his arms and murmured unintelligible words into her hair. By the
time they had to go upstairs to bed, he insisted on carrying her all the way up,
to follow as much tradition as they could. And this time, he didn’t groan.
~~
Their
legs were tangled together, and he was breathing heavily as her head rested on
his chest. Maria basked in the afterglow like a flower raising itself up to the
sun. Michael closed his eyes and allowed his heart to slow, calm. And then he
felt her drop tiny kisses on his bare skin.
“You’re
not tired?” he asked incredulously.
“Course
I am,” she drawled out.
“Why
aren’t you sleeping?”
“We’ve
got to short a time together as it is. I’m not gonna throw it away
sleeping.”
He
entwined his fingers with hers. “I’ve always wondered how a kid would like,
you know, if she had your eyes. And your hair. Definitely your nose. Your lips
too.”
“Well
Michael she would probably look like me then.” She did not want to talk of
this. No, she did want to have this talk. Only, she never wanted to do this with
Michael, under these circumstances. It gave her a bitter numbness, an emptiness
that had he not been holding her, she would have gone nuts.
“A
princess.”
But
this was the only chance they would ever talk about this. So no matter how sick
it is, how punishing it is for the two of them, she would talk about it. “Not
if she had your temperament she won’t be.”
His
laugh rumbled in his chest. She could feel it on her cheek, and it was
comforting. “I wonder how you’ll handle a dozen kids.”
“Michael,
you are crazy! We are not having twelve.”
“How’s
eight sound?”
She
extricated herself from his arms. “Two.”
“Five?”
“Three,
Michael. Three’s enough.”
“Just
give me one more. Four’s nice. Has a noble ring to it. Kinda like the Royal
Four.”
It
was like cold water tossed right into her face. Suddenly, she was aware again,
after the blessed hours that she had spent with it out of her mind. It hung over
them like some evil face sneering, jeering. She returned to his arms and cleared
her throat. “I want to have an Amy, okay? My mom’s a cook, but I love her.
What name would you pick? Max’s?”
“Nah.
I’ve got enough Max presence in my life, thank you. I’m not burdening a kid
of mine with that name.” She melded her body closer to his, and waited.
“Maybe Ulysses.”
Maria’s
laughter echoed through the still room.
For
hours they had talked, held each other close until the air around them grew
warm, and they both knew that the sun was soon coming. And with it, morning and
the reckoning. Michael would have preferred to stay there, hiding in the
darkness as long as he had her in his arms. But even the thought of the way they
were right now brought back thoughts of Max’s argument. Max slipping into his
mind while he held his naked new bride in bed disgusted him, but also firmed his
belief that he was doing the right thing. He was literally and metaphorically
keeping Maria out of the light. It was time to be the man that he was, or alien
rather.
“We
can’t hide from the light forever,” he said. “Morning’s going to come
whether we want it or not.”
“You
sound like you’re having doubts about this, Michael.”
“No.
No, I’m not. I’m going to do this.” He slipped off the bed and picked up
the discarded clothes. “Let’s go watch the sun rise in the desert. We’ll
beat Max and Isabel to the meeting place.”
Maria
forced her lips to curve into a calm smile as she donned her clothes.
“You’re saying that we should face the rising sun,” Maria joked to ease
the tension in her own frame, but her effort failed.
He
took her hand and this time, he took the wheel as they drove out of town into
the dark expanse of the desert.
“There
it is,” she exclaimed in awe.
Together
they watched the sun throw color to the sand, melting the blanket that covered
the desert and exposing the starkness to reality. From a distance she could see
the cave. It was the one that Max had told Michael their secret was in.
Maria
had the strongest urge to storm over there and destroy the place. Maybe then Max
would give up his quest. Maybe then Michael would get to stay.
“Are
you okay?” he asked.
She
looked up at his concerned brown eyes and nodded ever so slowly. “We’ll get
through this.”
He
was about to assure her that she will be fine when he left, but the blank,
frozen look in her eyes stopped him. He turned to see Max and Isabel walking
towards them. Isabel must have abandoned Jesse’s car some kilometers away, so
that no one would find a connection to the cave and to her disappearance.
“They’re here,” he muttered.
Maria’s
eyes caught and held Max’s. She waited for a flicker of emotion in his eyes.
She waited for anything to tell her that he was sorry he was fucking up her
existence. But Max’s face held the same silent nothingness it had held since
she met him. He was as always a leader. Yes, she had to remember that. Max was a
leader—responsible, dependable… distant.
When
the siblings neared Michael and Maria, Isabel broke into a run and stopped in
front of her, wrapping Maria in a tight embrace. “How are you?” Isabel asked
when she pulled away and regained her composure.
Maria’s
smile faltered for a moment, before she asked in answer, “How is your
husband?”
“It’s
time.” Three pairs of eyes slammed into Max’s at his cool words. Maria took
a deep breath and extricated her hand from Isabel’s grip.
“All
right, Max. I’ll just say goodbye, okay?”
Max
nodded, and Maria turned to Michael. He picked up her hand and touched his lips
softly to the ring on her finger. He closed his eyes, not moving until she drew
her hand away and took his head in her grasp and pulled him down for a long
kiss.
“You
know what I said about you having me for a night and the morning after?” he
said quietly. She nodded. “I lied. I’ll be yours for far longer than that,
Blondie.”
Maria
grinned brightly up at him, trying bravely to outshine with a smile the
brilliance of the tears dancing in her eyes. “Like maybe forever, Guerin?”
she teased.
“Longer,”
he answered, “Mrs. Guerin.”
He
had spoken in such a low volume, but with such quiet intensity that even the
others heard. Both Isabel and Max looked at them stunned. Max took Michael by
the upper arm and told him, “We’re leaving and you make sure you leave a
mess behind?” Michael’s jaw tightened. “We’ll speak of this on the way
home.”
Michael’s
entire body tensed for assault, but Maria’s hand at his back calmed him. And
then Isabel approached Maria and said, “I’m sorry for everything, for all
the pain knowing us caused you.” Her eyes were so sincere when she said this.
Maria could well imagine that in Isabel’s mind, images of a dead Alex, a
hurting Liz, a broken Maria hovered. But more importantly, because Isabel was a
woman in love, she was speaking to Maria in a way that she was speaking to Jesse
in her mind.
“I’m
not,” was Maria’s simple reply. “Take care of him, Isabel. And if… be
happy with him.”
With
one last kiss, the three walk towards the cave. Maria entered her car and called
out, “I’ll wait for you, Spaceboy!”
“Maria,
I might not be coming back! You should…”
She
shook her head. “I’ll always be waiting, Michael.” And then she starts the
engine and speeds away, not wanting to hear anyone else say that she should not
hope for anything.
Halfway
back to Roswell, a tiny white light shoots across the sky, unseen because of the
brightness of the sun. Nobody saw it, and no one suspected about what happened
in the desert. Maria drove on, hell bent for town, tears raining heedlessly down
her face.
The end
Continue to the Sequel Follow Your Destiny