PYGMALION
by
DocPaul
Day
Eleven: Friday, 12:03
am
“I
can’t believe you’re still up.” Sean shut the door. Rubbing his neck, he
sighed. He’d be lucky to ever feel rested again. Michael shook a barbeque
rib at him, and Maria just kept chewing.
“Bless
you!” Sean grabbed a chair and turned it around, straddling it backwards to
face the food laden table. “Feeding frenzy again?”
Michael
just grunted and continued to eat. Potato salad…good. Maria was dipping
chunks of barbeque meat into a thick sauce and licking the sticky sweet and
spicy sauce off her fingers.
“Where
have you been, Sean?”
Sean
looked at Maria quickly. Her question was asked in a casual manner, but her
eyes belied that tone. She was looking and seeing too much - as usual.
“Just
checking into some leads. I did get the report on the loft fire. Simon
believes it was your loft that was the target, but your security system was
too complex and hard to override, so the bomber took the next closest
space.”
Michael
stopped eating for a moment. “That would’ve been the loft behind Liz and
Isabel, not the one next to Edith.”
“No.”
Maria said quietly. “Sean is right. The loft next to the garage has a
security system. It’s on all the time. Or it was.”
Michael
looked at Maria, puzzled, “Security
system? Why? None of the empty lofts that needed renovation were on a security
grid. Just the occupied ones.”
Maria
looked miserably at Michael. “I had it installed over six weeks ago.” The
confusion rushing across his face was enough of a question. “I wanted to
expand into the loft next to us…”
“Maria,
we have plenty of space already.”
“You
said yes.” Maria reminded him. Of course, that was just recently. She had
installed the security system in the empty loft on the other side of the
garage in preparation to convince him. The loft in the minor annex building
with them already had a security grid connected to theirs.
“Six
weeks?” Okay, so it was official. She really was controlling him. “Were
you expecting to expand into that loft as well?”
“No.
But I figured that when we renovated ours, that some of our stuff would have
to have a storage area. Someplace close and roomy enough so we could find
things we needed, but a place to make room for the workers and ourselves. The
empty loft is a massive amount of space, and in the future I could have that
loft renovated and it would already have a security system.”
Michael
could see her reasoning, but he didn’t have to like it. She was too used to
getting her way, but in truth, the lofts were hers to do with as she saw fit.
It was just…he thought they were beyond this ‘his and hers’ stuff.
“It’s
your property. You can do what you like,” Michael said in a cold quiet tone.
“It
wasn’t like that! This wasn’t a decision that really concerned our lives,
Michael. It was all about convenience. When we started renovating it
would’ve been the same solution you would’ve thought of, given the
circumstances. I just did it ahead of time in preparation. I’ve been
thinking that way a lot recently.” The babies. Maria was concentrating on
the future. Future needs. Future plans. Planning ahead.
“The
decision did concern our lives, Maria. It concerned Mrs. Mulhoney. That means
because the bomber couldn’t place the bomb in that loft, he set it in the
one next to hers. It took away time…time we needed to rescue her, and…”
Michael
stopped at Sean’s angry sound. Maria’s face had turned ashen. He stopped
raving long enough to actually understand what he was saying and how he was
saying it. It was unforgivable. He was letting his hurt feelings lash out at
her, and he had hit a real sore mark.
“I
didn’t mean that…”
Maria’s
face shut down, and she turned away from him. Picking up her scraps, she
quickly cleaned the area around her and left the room without another word or
even a look.
Michael
cussed and quickly stood up to go after her, but Sean stopped him.
“Leave
her.” Michael pulled his arm free. “Leave her! The damage is done. Nothing
can take that away now. Leave her to work it out on her own.” Sean’s face
was angry and fierce. “How the hell could you…”
Michael
just shook his head. He was stupid. That was the only explanation. He had
taken all his anger and guilt, and piled it on Maria’s small thin shoulders.
He had to fix it. Needed to fix it. Putting away the remainder of the food,
Sean just made a quiet sound of goodnight, and went upstairs to bed. Michael
worked to clean the kitchen. He should go upstairs, but he couldn’t handle
seeing her hurt look. He had abused her in a terrible way. Leaning against the
counter with his arms resting there, and his head lying on his arm, he tried
to blank his mind. Impossible.
The
doorbell saved him from himself.
“Mac?”
“Michael.
Hi.” Julia stood there uncertain. “I know it’s late. I’m sorry. I
just…”
“He
has just gone upstairs. Why don’t you go on up?” Michael moved aside and
let her in, gesturing towards the staircase. “He’s in the first door on
the right at the top of the stairs.”
“Thanks.
I’m really sorry,” Julia looked at him and frowned. His face was shuttered
and dark. Angry and sad at the same time. “Is Maria doing okay? I heard
about the loft and everything.”
“No.
She was trying to go on, but I messed that up.” Michael reached over and
turned on the alarm again. “Let Sean know the alarm is on so he doesn’t
set it off if you leave.”
Julia
nodded. “Sure. I’ll tell him.”
Michael
went off into the dark living room to sit as Julia made her way upstairs.
Tapping on Sean’s door lightly so as not to disturb Maria, she waited. There
was no answer, so she let herself into the room, calling softly to him.
“Sean?”
There
was water running in the adjoining bathroom. Tossing her jacket across the
chair, she straightened her clothes and went to find him.
The
room was full of steam. He was in the shower. She could see the outline of his
body behind the shower curtain. Calling softly so she didn’t startle him, it
wasn’t surprising he didn’t hear. Her voice seemed to stick in her throat.
This was wrong. A mistake. But she had to come. All day, she had struggled
over what to do.
“Julia?”
Sean
pulled back the curtain and saw her standing there, just staring.
“Um…,
hi! Um…” she quickly averted her eyes. “Sorry. You’re dripping.”
Sean
looked down at his naked body and grabbed a towel. Stepping out he quickly
toweled off but didn’t bother with clothing. He didn’t have anything she
hadn’t seen before on numerous occasions.
“What
are you doing here?”
Julia
glanced at him quickly, and then away again. “I...um…” Damn
him. “I’ll just wait for you in the bedroom so you can get dressed.”
Sean
reached out and nabbed her, stopping her from running away. “I sleep in the
nude, as you know. Maybe you could just tell me what’s going on? Why are you
here?”
“I…”
Julia cursed herself under her breath. He wasn’t going to turn her into a
fumbling schoolgirl again. He wasn’t. “You look good.” Dammit! The hell
he wasn’t.
“You
look flustered.”
Julia
couldn’t find any room to walk or move away from him, so she quickly changed
the subject. “I saw Michael downstairs. He didn’t look so great. He said
to tell you that the alarm is on, so when I leave…”
“Are
you going to be leaving?”
“I,
um…”
Sean
moved in close to her. She smelt great. She looked tired, but the pinkness to
her cheeks was a bonus. Moving his hand under her hair, he leaned in real
close with his lips just barely a whisper from hers.
“Really?
So then why are you here?”
“I…I
wanted to check to see that you were okay.” Julia looked down at his mouth.
“The fire. I knew that you were staying with Liz, and…”
“Liz
and Isabel. Their sofa, and their erratic use of all the hot water. I’d much
rather stay with you.” Sean looked at her in earnest. “Cooking is no fun
without you, Counselor.”
“Really?”
Sean nodded. “What did you make?”
“First
night, both Liz and Isabel were gone on an overnight camping trip double date
thing. Chicken tetrazzini with extra cheese sauce and mushrooms. I had to eat
it alone, and Michael confiscated more than half of it for Maria and
himself.”
Julia
peeked cautiously at him. “Your tetrazzini is unmatched.”
“It
would’ve been better if you had been there to help eat it.”
Julia
didn’t know what to say. He was crowding her, and he was okay. That
mattered. Nothing else did. Her heart stopped when she heard about the fire
and that there was a death. Waiting for details on the news, finally she gave
up and used her connections to get the details early. Just to make sure. It
took her an entire day of internal struggle to decide to go and find him
herself. She had to be sure that he wasn’t hurt.
“You’re
shaking,” he stated in an almost accusatory tone. Worry was hard to release.
“Caffeine
overload. It was a long day.”
“Aye,
that it was.” More ways than she could imagine. “Worst day of my life, or
at least in a while.”
“I
had to come. Had to know you were okay.” It was hard to admit that she felt
some of the same possessiveness towards him that he had for her.
"Why?"
he murmured, his eyes dark and full of a depth of emotion that she had often
witnessed, but never understood before.
"Why
do I love you? Or why do I care?" She laughed. "Why wouldn't I? Why
the hell wouldn't I? I never knew how hard it was to shake someone off, try to
keep them in a quiet place when you needed them to be silent. You’re never
silent, Detective. Most of the time you’re loud and obvious, making me
crazy, making me do crazy things. I even kissed you once before I even knew
you, remember?" she teased, tracing a finger over his lips. "I
kidded myself it was anger and getting back at you, but I knew as soon as my
lips touched yours that it wasn't. It burnt a streak of lightning up my spine,
and made every part of my body tingle, and you… you acted like a shy
teenager who'd never been kissed before!" She laughed, remembering.
"Not
like that, at least," he chuckled, his big hands pulling her close.
"Nobody ever kissed me like that," he whispered, lacing his hands
through her hair and gently brushing her lips with his own.
She
responded hungrily, reaching up to pull him close, opening her mouth and
finding his tongue with her own, tasting him, desperate to be as close to him
as possible. His hands ran streaks of fire over her body, caressing her skin
as he moved his hands over her hips, her thighs, her back as they kissed until
they ran out of air, then separated. Wrong. It was a mistake to come to see
him, but it was so hard not to
care! He was alright, alive, and…well, just Sean. Just Sean. Sounded so
simple. It wasn’t.
“I
thought we weren't together.” Sean had to know.
"Come
with me." She took hold of his hand and led him into the bedroom, and he
hesitated, glancing at the closed door. Michael and Maria were down the hall.
Not that it mattered before, but Julia was different. "The world can wait
a few hours. What’s wrong between us can wait. I can't," she told him
impatiently. He grinned and followed her to the bed.
“I
seem to be at a disadvantage, Counselor. You have too many clothes on.”
“Sean,”
she said. “You’re about to get lucky. You want to ruin it with too much
talk?”
Sex.
Julia. Naked. Or talk about their relationship? Oh, he could be very quiet; it
wasn’t impossible. Not really. Sometimes actions were more important than
words.
He
started peeling off her clothes before they even reached the bed, and had her
completely naked by the time she hit the mattress. He had managed to get the
bedding moved out of the way, then she pulled him down on top of her. She
could feel his erection digging into her thigh and she said seriously,
"I'm so glad to see that you’re none the worse for wear,"
She rolled over on top of him, taking him in her hand and reveling in
the feel of that hardness beneath her fingers as he quickly gasped and thrust
up against her, moaning. “I really do need to make it clear how I don’t
appreciate what I consider to be my personal property being risked in such a
manner.”
“Thought
this personal property was discarded, Counselor.”
“You
thought wrong.” Or maybe it was her. She thought she could walk away, but it
was hard, so hard to imagine not having him in her life. "I think that's
working okay," she teased, removing her hand from him.
"Is
that a professional opinion, or are you going to need to investigate
deeper?" he sputtered, grabbing hold of her and pulling her down so that
she straddled him, his hands gently caressing her breasts. She put her head
back and moaned as his fingertips rubbed her nipples. Leaning down she made a
meal of his mouth.
"I
love you," she said finally.
"And
I adore you, but you already know that," he replied, pulling her head
down and stealing another long kiss.
"Yes…so
many acts of kindness…" she whispered, running her fingers across his
chest, finding a nipple, stroking it. His nipple ring wasn’t in, and strange
how disappointing that was. "I had a hard day worrying about you, and if
it was only a small amount in comparison of what you go through because of me,
then I apologize. I just thought…I don't know what I thought."
"I've
loved you literally from the moment you threw your shoe at me. A very long
time," he said, and his eyes were so serious that she shivered.
"I'm
just sorry. I’m sorry that we have such a hard time finding common ground,
and I’m sorry I asked you to leave." She kissed him again, then moved
further down his body, licking his beautiful, moist flesh as she went. He
tasted of salt and of a masculine musk that was so ‘him’,
and a cleanness left from his shower.
She became aroused just from the scent and the taste. She took him into
her mouth, and he moaned, thrusting up against her once more.
"Too
soon. It's been a long time, and I don't want to disgrace myself," he
gasped.
“It’s
only been a few days.”
“Days?”
Sean groaned. “Like I said - too long. Come here," he sat up and pulled
her back up his body, gently caressing her, kissing her. This felt so good
after so many hours of a weary, soulless existence, wondering if he’d ever
find a way to get her to let him back in. She nuzzled into his big shoulders,
sucking and biting, needing to taste him and feel his solid flesh against her
own. Finally he rolled her onto her back and looked down at her. That old
magic was there, or more specifically, Michael and Maria were in the house. He
could feel it. It was like having the normal lust and attraction he felt for
Julia magnified to the point that even the fast beat of her heart along the
pulse in her neck was enough to send his own heart racing.
“I
don’t know that I can do this, Counselor.”
“Sure
you can. You’re very good at this, Detective. I’d give you a
recommendation.”
Sean
laughed, but suddenly went serious. “I don’t know that I can take having
you in my bed, and then gone again the next day, or the next time I do
something thoughtless in your eyes. I…I don’t think I can take it.”
“You
want me to leave?”
“No.
I want you to stay,” Sean said, wondering if she heard what he was saying,
really saying.
Julia
studied his serious face. He just…damn... Refusing to back away and hurt him
more than he already had been, she searched his face. So damn charming and
adorable. Sean was a strange man. He had that twinkle of the Irish, a sort of
devil-may-care to him, but he was capable of suddenly becoming quiet and
deadly, intense. It was hard to take him for anything but what he was. He was
honest at all times about his emotions, honest and open, and the few times he
fooled himself, he was quick to correct it no matter the cost. This
was costing him a lot.
“You
risk much, Detective.”
“Maybe
it’s worth it, to me,” Sean answered, his eyes dark and unreadable.
“I
can’t say…”
“Then
who can, if not you?” She was a slippery character, but even she needed to
play by the rules. Giving her an out was too much. Stick to it. Stay strong.
It could go good or bad, but at least she knew what his intentions were. “We
can’t keep playing games. I’m not strong enough.”
“You’re
the strongest man I’ve ever known.”
“Not
in this. Never in this,” Sean said, revealing his Achilles’ heel. His
heart. It broke easily. It was fragile in ways that not even he could explain.
All those years away from his family, his mother treating him as dead, they
had burned a hole in his heart, left him wasted and in pain to the point that
he searched for anything to make it feel better, or mask what was really
hurting him. It led him to pain as pleasure, abuse, and a need to feel a real
cut that would burn and hurt more than the mental ones. “I’m asking you to
stay.”
Julia
studied the length of his body leaning over her, and ran her hand down his
skin. He really was quite beautiful. If she said no, would he leave? Walk
away? Life without Sean would drive her to drink. Life without his lazy smile
and devilish humor. Life…there’d be no life, because there would be no
Sean, and no one could ever replace him. Her heart bumped and stuttered in her
chest as if a large weight held it prisoner.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
Sean couldn’t breath. He needed a damn DeLuca paper bag to breath in, and a
nice hyperventilating break down. “Yes, really?”
Julia
hooked an arm around his neck. “Really, but…”
“Of
course. There would be a but. Hit
me.”
“But
not right now. Not today.” Julia stopped him from talking. “We need some
space and time to come to an agreement, and we will come to one, Detective. I
don’t want to lose you, and once you come home, I don’t want you to leave.
Ever.”
“So
what do we do in the meantime?” Sean asked, looking down his body to where
her hand was. She was damn well making it hard…making it difficult to think.
“I don’t want to play games.”
“This
is no game, Sean. I’m very serious,” Julia smiled at the look on his face.
He was feeling just how serious she was. “Maybe you could maybe try courting
me in an old fashioned way.”
“Courting?
You mean call you up for dates?” Damn. Sean could see the long narrow tunnel
looking longer and narrower with the light at the end of it suddenly dimmer.
“Yeah.
Fooling around in a dark theatre, the backseats of cars, and you coming over
to Mom’s for Sunday dinner while trying to discreetly feel me up under the
table.”
Sean
face took on a devilish look, a twinkle entered his eyes. “How about I do
that while we live together?”
“No.
We did that already. Too fast. Long before we ever came to understand each
other, and look at where it’s gotten us.”
Sean
looked down at their joined bodies, her hands on his, and shrugged. He was
pretty happy right here, right now. But he knew what she meant. She was right.
If she let him walk through her door again, he wasn’t leaving. Ever. So if
she wanted to date, then fine. He could date as long as that meant he was
getting closer to coming home.
“Okay.
So I call you? And ask you again later?”
“Yeah.
Later.” Julia kissed his neck and then his face. “And Sean?”
“Hmm?”
Sean was turning his attentions elsewhere now that the business of being
together was over, now he wanted to get down to business.
“Next
time?”
“Uh
huh.”
“Bring
a ring.”
Sean
laughed. His lawyer. Always so exact. Nothing too spontaneous. She was getting
better. He was wrecking her careful plans with bouts of spontaneity. Sean
smiled. Oh yeah, he had a damn ring just for her, and it was going to make her
heart stop. It was his Irish grandmother’s ring. He had sent for it over
three months ago, and it figured she would catch him in at a time when he was
wearing nothing but his birthday suit to blurt out a marriage proposal. This
worked better. He had an entire romantic scenario worked out in his brain, so
now he could actually follow through with it. Next time.
“Yes,
dear.” Sean’s voice was light and full of laughter. Dating. He was back to
dating. This could be fun. He needed practice. So he moved his mouth down her
front to latch on a tempting breast as his hand slipped down her body, loving
the play of her muscles under his hand. Practice made perfect. Dating.
Courtship. Oh yeah, he could drive her insane with that. No problem.
"Please…now,"
she whimpered. Dammit, she had just given him a license to tease, and he
smiled, positioned himself over her, and then slid easily inside her. "Oh
god!" she yelled, crossing her legs behind his back and drawing him deep
within her body. "More, please…more…"
He
started to thrust, long, slow, mind-blowing thrusts, that rubbed her just
right with each movement, driving her wild. She looked up into that familiar,
beloved face, and wondered how there had ever been a time when she hadn't
known she felt like this about him. That was all of what? Two weeks upon
meeting him? The damn man was tastier than chicken.
"You
feel like coming home," she whispered, reaching up to caress the sides of
his face. She came a few seconds later, exploding into a white light that
turned her body to boneless ecstasy and her mind into a glowing field of
stars. She was dimly aware of him coming inside her a few moments after, then
he collapsed down beside her and pulled her lithe, white body against his
sweaty flesh.
"Home,
sweet home," he grinned, and she smiled back, remembering how arrogant he
got at times. Too sure of himself. Time to trim the sails and knock back some
of that self-satisfaction.
“Is
that all you got? Or should I leave?”
“Stay
put. That was just an appetizer.” Sean said turning her in his arms so she
rested with her back to his front. Pulling her close and whispering in her
ear, he let himself actually feel good for the first time in almost two days.
“Miles to go before you sleep, Mac. We’ve got the Dynamic Duo of Lust in
the house. This is far from over.”
Julia
laughed softly as he nibbled the side of her neck and his crossed hands held
her breasts. “Need the extra help, Detective?”
“Brat!”
Sean playfully nipped at her neck and chuckled in her skin at her small yelp.
Miles to go before he’d let her rest.
They
slept for a while. When she woke, she found four sunflowers, propped up in a
vase, sitting beside the bed. Where the hell did he find sunflowers in the
middle of the night?
"My
mom always told me you could trust a man who brought a girl flowers," she
whispered. He smiled down at her, one hand propping his head up. “Where did
you get them?”
“Secret!
But if anyone claims that someone was trampling my Aunt Amy’s flower beds in
the early morning, I deny everything.”
“Did
you put on clothes?” Julia asked curiously. Sean in the buff was something
else. He was a born nudist. Once his clothes came off he seemed to forget that
they were missing.
Sean
just made a face. It wasn’t like anyone was up and around at this hour
anyway, and if they were, they were probably drunk. "I almost can't
believe you're here like this with me," he murmured, running a big hand
over her slender thigh.
"What,
buck naked?" She glanced down at her body, realizing that for the first
time in months she felt relaxed, calm, and even happy.
"Uh-huh."
He dipped his head and stole a kiss. She gave it freely, wanting more. Always
wanting more. "I'll never give up, you know that right?" he said as
their lips parted again.
“I
always counted on that, Detective.” Julia said. She was a little closer to
understanding what he was going through. The fear in her body when she heard
of the fire, the bomb and Mrs. Mulhoney's death was enough to rewrite her
world. Nightmares of him hurt or dead raced in her mind, and left her
unreasonable for a moment. Maybe she had just walked a mile in his shoes. It
didn’t change much, but it gave her a perspective she hadn’t had before.
Whereas, she knew he could die as a policeman, putting his life on the line,
there was a place in her that couldn’t see that ever happening, couldn’t
ever believe Sean to be gone or dead. Then the fire happened and she wasn’t
near. He was too far away, and the fear that he would be gone was a harsh
reality. They suddenly had a common language. An understanding. They could
start there.
~~~
Michael
finally climbed the stairs to the bedroom. Damn, Sean and Julia were noisy! He
made a mental note to let Kyle know about the misuse of his boyhood bed. It
should piss him off that Sean saw more action in it than Kyle had. Evil.
Michael smiled slightly at himself. He really wasn’t that amused. He had
spent hours chastising himself.
Maria
was asleep.
Michael
frowned down at the bed. She had put on extra blankets. Removing his clothes,
he slid into bed next to her. It
was hot. Like a damn furnace, but her skin was cold.
Ignoring
the uncomfortable heat, he pulled her into his arms to transfer some of the
heat from his body into hers. She was cold and tired. She was losing the
fight, and tonight he had added to the losing side when he struck at her in
pain.
He
hated himself.
Hugging
her close, he whispered in her ear how sorry he was.
Settling
down to sleep for just a few hours before he needed to wake her, he closed his
eyes and opened up the connection between them. Nightmares. She was having
nightmares again. They were so stark and violent, that at times they scared
him awake.
~~~
Michael
came down the stairs pulling a t-shirt over his head. Food. Lots of food. Hot
tea. Maria was asleep. He could hardly rouse her for an early morning feeding,
and when he tried to wake her, she begged him to just let her sleep.
“Sean,
I need you to…” Michael stopped when he saw Sean and Julia engaged in an
intense session of tonsil hockey. “Ah, c’mon! I haven’t even had
breakfast yet, for chrissakes!”
Julia
peeled herself away from Sean and looked over at the grumpy Michael with a
slight pinkness to her face. Oh, he really did look good with that pissy
expression. Smiling slightly at him, she quickly kissed Sean goodbye again,
just not as long this time.
“Sorry,
Michael. I was just leaving.” Julia went for the door, but Sean remembered
the alarm.
“Whoa,
wait! I’ll get the alarm!”
Julia
looked back at Michael and decided to leave a little dig behind. “By the
way, thank you for the early morning treat. It was lovely.” Michael just
frowned as the damn enigmatical woman swept out the door.
Sean
chuckled.
“What?
What the hell is she talking about?”
“You
and Maria. Early morning sex.”
Michael
swore. “What? We woke you? I didn’t think we were that noisy, and you
don't have much to talk to me about after last night.”
“No,
not noisy. It was the 'unexpected waking to being so damn aroused' feeling
she’s talking about. You two really generate some sex vibes.”
Michael
didn’t want to talk about it. That morning disturbed him. Sex. It had been
just sex. Maria hadn’t been there with him. She had just gone through the
motions and then right back to sleep.
“Look,
Maria’s sick. Cold.” Sean stopped chuckling and took in the serious look
on Michael’s face. “I think I did a lot of damage last night, Sean. She
seems broken. I should…I don’t know. Just...could you make her something
special for breakfast? Lots of fats and sugars, and something hot. She’s so
cold.”
Sean
nodded. Searching the kitchen, he quickly went to the phone and began ordering
groceries. They were under stocked.
Maria
finally joined them an hour later in heavy wool socks, a pair of sweats and a
shirt with a sweatshirt over it. She was shivering.
“God,
baby.” The concern in his voice was hard to miss. Sean looked up from his
cooking at Michael’s voice, and swearing, he quickly put the kettle on to
boil. Michael was rubbing her body in a full body hug.
“I’m
okay. Just a little cold.”
Michael
swore. She was still not making eye contact with him, and her voice was quiet
and small. He had hurt her. Really hurt her.
“Sean,
make tea. We’ll be right back.” Michael dragged Maria after him into the
family room. Pushing her down in a chair, he went to the fireplace and began
building a fire. It was too early for fires, but she was cold. He could get
this one room steamy, and she could rest in here during the day.
After
starting the fire, he crouched down in front of her chair. She stared past him
at the fire. He rested his head on her knees and her hand came down to move
through his hair.
“Forgive
me.”
“Michael,
no. It’s not you.”
“Yes,
it is. What I said…how I said it. It was wrong.” Maria looked at the fire
and tears started running down her face. “I took out my anger at myself for
not making it on time to save her on you, and I can’t forgive myself for
that. I couldn’t forgive myself for not keeping my promise. I told you that
I would get them, all of them.”
“Margo
and Zeke…”
“Are
alive because of Zeke, not me. All in all, I was pretty much a failure.”
Maria
finally looked at him. “You don’t know how to fail, Detective.”
“Yes
I do. I did it with you.” Michael reached up and framed her face. “I swore
to myself that I’d never hurt you, because I love you so much, Maria.
Hurting you is like hurting myself. I know I don’t say much at times.”
“You
say plenty. I’m quite accustomed to reading
‘Michael actions’.”
“I
should say it more often. It’s just…” Michael stopped for a moment.
“I… There are no words at times to tell you. Nothing that wouldn’t make
it seem less than it is.”
Maria
scooted closer to him. “I know. And you know I know. I see it all the time.
Feel it. You let me inside you, Michael. You don’t need the words because I
feel the rush of what you’re trying to say.”
“Then
feel this. Know me.” Michael joined his mouth to her, and concentrating on
nothing but her, he opened up himself to her. Let her feel everything he had
felt last night. Let her see his reaction to her sad face when he had hurt
her. The fear when he saw how cold she was. All of it. His sorrow and sadness
over her. Forgive
me...
Maria
moved away and wiped a tear from her cheek, “Thank you.”
Michael
stood up, his face still shuttered and dark. Picking her up, he took the chair
and sat with her in his lap with his hand on her face as he held her close.
Never let go. He couldn’t. He needed it, her…them, too much.
That
was how Sean found them. Bringing a cup of tea into the room, he bit back his
comment on the heat. It was like a desert, hot and dry.
“Drink
this, M. I added extra sugar.” Sean kissed her forehead as he handed her the
cup, and looked at Michael over her head. The larger man nodded slightly, and
Sean blew out a sigh of relief. He’d hate to have to kill Michael at this
juncture in their relationship, but there were rules. “Breakfast in ten, so
finish that, then both of you come eat.”
~~~
Alex
watched from the bed as Isabel rushed around getting ready for school. She
hadn’t brought any clothes. All of hers were being treated for smoke damage,
so he had taken her shopping. It was amusing to watch her try to accessorize
what she had, mix, match and change until she looked perfect. Actually she
always looked perfect regardless of what she wore, but there was no convincing
her of that.
“You
had a nightmare again last night,” Isabel said over her shoulder.
“Did
you walk in it?”
“No.
I…” Isabel didn’t want to say too much. His dreams disturbed her.
Alex
didn’t say anything, but he waited. Isabel and her ability to dreamwalk had
been a novelty at first. When she discovered the gift months back, she had no
problem invading many peoples’ dreams, until she tried to enter Michael’s.
For days afterward she was jittery and upset. What she saw or felt had been
too much even for her to explain. The images were jumbled and dark. Angry. But
more than that, it was Michael. He seemed to know she was there, and he had
kicked her out. The anger was targeted at her. The darkness and violence were
directed at her. She couldn’t understand it.
Max’s
dreams were amusing. Laughable in a strange way. Everything there was
off-kilter with a touch of the
erotic. Isabel wanted to tease him about it, but then she would have had to
admit that she had walked in a place which was a true invasion of his privacy.
Sean.
Sean looked like a good time. Isabel woke up crying and in pain. It was too
much. There was too much in him. It was hard to describe or put into words,
but Sean bled and it was in his dreams. Endless dreams of people he loved,
dying or being too far away. It moved into a myriad of pain and despair.
Isabel broke free of the dream. She had expected kinky domination scenarios,
or at least a woman holding a whip. Instead, it was Sean. Standing in a dark
room alone with open graves around him, all the people he knew inside, with
him holding a long butcher’s knife and cutting long bleeding lines into his
own skin.
Then
Maria. Sweet, lovable Maria. Isabel woke from her dreams screaming in fear.
Hysterically rushing around the room, she had to find a paper bag to breathe
into as her heart almost ripped itself from her chest. She tore her room
apart, almost driven, as she piled things in front of her door, too wired to
settle down. Finally she sank to the floor in exhaustion. The next morning
Maria came over with a sweet smile on her face, a coffee cake, and on her way
out, she turned to look at Isabel and said calmly, ‘Stay out. That was a
mild one. You might not be so lucky next time.’ Isabel stood looking through
the closed glass door, seeing her own reflection as her hand was held over her
mouth to repress her scream of fear.
So
she practiced on simple uncomplicated people. Looking at the scar on Liz’s
throat and knowing her personal history, Isabel decided not to venture in her
roommate’s dreams. She had thought of Jonathan, but out of respect for Max
and a fear of finding something she didn’t want to know, she bypassed him as
well. Her classmates and people from work seemed to be easy and fun to visit.
But Alex... He was the one she really wanted to do, but sleeping next to him,
she already knew that his dreams were rarely calm.
Alex
dreamt. All the time. Violent dreams that woke her just by touching his skin.
She flashed his thoughts. That alone was enough to keep her out. He walked in
a dark land, knee deep in blood and despair with the masses pulling at his
body. Reaching down, he dragged them with him, but there were too many. Too
many. He was only one man.
“No.
I never dreamwalk you.”
Alex
smiled. “It might be an education you wouldn’t want, Iz. All those naked
dancing women.”
Isabel
laughed, letting a serious moment slide. “Oh,” she said making a face at
him. “Like a little flesh is going to scare me.”
Alex
sat up in the bed. It was nice having her in his home, having her things there
and waking up together. They spent most of the time at her place. “Skip
school and come back to bed.”
“I’ve
heard that request before, and have given in too many times already.” Isabel
jumped on the bed on her knees. “Unfortunately, I can’t today. I’ve got
a review session before a test, and I hate missing those.”
“Hmm,
I could hire someone to take those notes.”
Isabel
kissed him quickly and pushed him away. “Stop it. I thought it was the
female that was supposed to be the temptress, not the male.”
“I’ve
always flourished under the care of a strong female. If you come back, I
promise to keep my hands off your ass.”
“Like
I would believe that! You have unholy designs on my entire body.”
Alex
leaned back in the pillows and put his hands behind his head. “What gave me
away?”
Isabel
just shook her head in wonder. What didn’t? The man was too much into
everything, and almost impossible to keep up with. “I’ve got to go. Home
early?”
“I’ve
got a late run at the club. Home after two. Don’t wait up for me.”
“I
could come down to the club, and…”
“No.”
Absolutely not. Club Hell was off limits for her. Not that he didn’t trust
her recovery, but you didn’t tempt a recovering alcoholic. It was bad enough
he continued to instigate her into engaging in constant
wild sex, but at least he was keeping her from engaging in it with a
full array of men. Exclusiveness had to be considered an improvement.
“I’m
stronger, and…”
“No.
Seriously Iz, half the time I
don’t want to be there. I like that what we have doesn’t involve the club.
I like having something sane and clean outside of there.”
“Okay.
I understand.” Isabel kissed him again, harder this time. Sane and clean.
Shocking that those words would ever be used to describe her. Alex. He saw her
how she wanted to be seen, and the way she feared no man would ever see her
again.
“I
can take off the entire weekend if you want me to.”
“Actually,
no. You took off last weekend, and you only play Thursday thru Sunday. I have
to study for a test on Monday anyway, so there’ll be lots of library time.
You do your thing, and I’ll do mine.”
“Deal.
But the following weekend we’ll see about doing something.”
Isabel
grabbed her bag and jacket. Smiling at him, she waved her hand and was out the
door and down the steps.
Alex
listened as her car started and she pulled away.
Isabel.
Vilandra. Who was she? And were they the same?
~~~
Maria
was finally finishing breakfast when there was a knock on the door. As soon as
she finished one plate, Michael had pushed more food on her, so the knock was
heaven sent. A rescue from the food demon plaguing her. Trying to get the
door, she found herself pushed back down in her seat, and another cup of tea
set in front of her.
Sean
chuckled under his breath at the look she sent Michael when he went to answer
the door.
Alex.
Of
all the people any of them expected, Alex was the last one.
“Alex!” Maria was happy to see a familiar face, one not carrying anything to eat for a chang