Author: DocPaul

Email: DocPaul2002@yahoo.ca

Rating: R

Spoiler: None.

Disclaimer: Don’t belong to me, but they should.

Warning: This was written a few years back so the style is still young. It was never beta’d so if you are afraid of grammatical errors...go away. This is not for you.

Summary: Michael and Maria in a holding position in their relationship, sort of together, but also sort of a part. There are unresolved issues, things that need to be said, and a run in with danger makes them examine their lives and each other.

Author’s note:  This story has a lot of Michael. A lot of things he should have said had Roswell given him a voice to talk. The Michael here is faced with many things, but the most important is that he wanted to belong and be part of something bigger. We see a glimpse of Michael that there for Maria during CYN, even though this was written before that.

POSSESSION

It was cold in the desert, and it was going to get colder. Michael and Maria just spent the last three hours walking and Maria stopped complaining the last hour. It was hard not to worry about her, but she just kept on walking, knowing that they couldn’t afford to stop because a snowstorm was imminent. It doesn’t snow in New Mexico as much as other places, but in the dead of winter the weather could be as harsh as any other place. They had forecasted freezing rain and almost a foot of snow over that. This was the worst time to find oneself stranded. Why was this always happening to them?

It was only ten hours earlier when Michael walked into the CrashDown to find Maria. The cold front that was moving in fast made it impossible for him to use his bike for long drives, and he needed to make a trip out of town. Maria’s car is always the first alternative to Michael’s transportation needs. Someone once mentioned that it was strange that he never thought of borrowing the jeep, but rather went out of his way to entangle Maria in his extra curricular activities. Maybe it is because Maria never said no, or somehow she understood what drove him. Or maybe it was because having her with him always made him feel happy and at peace, even when she was complaining the whole time.

Their relationship, if you want to call it that, has taken an unexpected turn in the last few weeks. After spending so much time trying to push her away, it was hard to admit that when he woke up one morning and found she was still with him, that he was glad. It’s a hard thing to realize that what you think needs to be done, and what you want to do are often two different things, but that was what his relationship with Maria was like.

Michael needed her to stay away, to leave him because what he saw as his future, where he saw himself heading wasn’t a place he ever wanted to see her. But then inside his mind, deep inside in that high, hard edge on a ledge above the abyss, he could see the narrow glass bridge of obsidian stone reaching out spanning the void. It was courage Michael needed to cross that bridge to survive, and having attempted it many times in his mind, but the high wind buffered him, threatened to push him over into the chasm, so he stood plastered to the ledge, to afraid to leave, to afraid to stay, and then she came.

Maria was a vision of light that stood on the other side. She called to him, told him that he was strong, that he could do it, that she had come for him. Michael closed his eyes and with only her voice as his guide, he crossed that void, and she led him home. It was the thought of her; the feel that gave Michael refuge when those he knew all his life could not. And for her unwavering trust and belief, he tried to set her free, get her away from the danger. But part of him knew that he would never really let her go, because despite all the attempts, she was part of him. Cutting her from his life was like ripping his own heart from his chest, but keeping her near has fed the hunger and fears. She was his world, and that is the one thing he never told her or showed her. So today they lived in limbo, together, but not together, greedily wanting, but realistically knowing that it couldn’t be. The road was bumpy and torturous, but Michael would rather travel this road with her than any other person he has ever known.

Time has passed since last spring. Michael was more than a little cruel to her. He pushed and pushed, trying once again to make her take the final step back, because he didn’t have the words that would banish her forever. He knew that she would leave forever if he just told her that he didn’t love her, which Michael never could. He couldn’t ever utter those words. They stuck in his throat like the lies they were. One thing he was proud of in his relationship with Maria was his inability to lie to her. Telling her that she was nothing to him was the one thing he couldn’t do. So they continue to dance that strange dance that gave them so very little definition as to who and what they were. That was until today, and then things changed.

“Maria?” He watched her freeze on the spot at his voice. He knew she was gathering her strength waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it always does. She thought that the only time he approaches her is when he want something. So far she was right, Michael was too insecure to take a chance approaching her just as he was. She might say no.

“No. Whatever it is, the answer is no.” Maria finished closing her locker door. “I just worked the morning shift, my feet hurt, tips were bad, and I am going to have my Jetta privileges revoked if I don’t pay the insurance premium by next week. And these premiums are not a small cost, somehow over the last year for some reason the insurance company finds me a high risk and have increased my premiums. Maybe the bullet holes were what gave them this idea, or all the towing and the blown motor.”

“Maria, this is important.”

“Isn’t it always?” Maria turned to face him, giving him close scrutiny. “Do you ever consider the fact that it is always important, and it is always about you?”

“Maria, if you would listen to me, come with me, I will happily let you lecture me on the trip about my self-centered view of the world.”

“Where to this time?” Maria pulled on her jacket knowing she was going to give in, but needing some token protest.

“Darnell, a small town about one hundred and forty miles from here, across the big Res.”

“What is there? Or is it a who this time?”

“It’s Eddie. I was looking for him at the reservation. They told me he was in Darnell. I need to talk to him.” Maria knew there was more to this than just finding Eddie, something he wasn’t telling her.

“Fine, if you want my car, then you better come clean. What has Eddie got that you need? Why is he important all the sudden?” Michael looked at her and sighed.

“Eddie called me this morning. He said that he found something in the cave, and he was worried. Ever since he found it he’s felt uncomfortable, almost like someone is watching him, following him. So he took off to his grandmother’s place. I promised to come and find him.”

“So why…”

“Do I need your car?” Michael moved closer to her pushing his advantage. She was just as curious as he was. “With the approaching storm, I can’t use my bike, but I don’t want to leave Eddie hanging.” Moving even closer, “Please Maria, I really need to do this. You don’t need to come. I’ll go quickly and bring back the car.”

“You know I can’t let anyone use the car without me anymore.” Looking at him, knowing she was going to yield, she sighed. “Okay, let’s go. If we don’t leave soon the storm will hit before we can get back. I am not sure my mom will be so understanding if we are stranded in another nookie motel again.”

Michael smirked at the thought. He knew that being stranded with Maria again and again in a nookie motel was one of his favorite fantasies. If he knew then what he knew now, he would have kissed her the first time he had her alone in that first motel on highway 285. Michael followed Maria out of the CrashDown.

~~~

“I think you should have turned left at the last turn.”

“Come on Maria, this is a small town, if I keep turning right I will eventually cover the whole damn place.”

“I think you should stop and ask someone for directions. We have driven through the town six times now. I doubt that a large neon light is going to suddenly appear with an arrow saying ‘here I am’, so maybe we should just stop in the grocery or something and get it over.” Michael quickly pulled over on the corner of the road and grabbed the directions from Maria. Reading them over a few times, he restarted the car and started over. Finally half an hour later he pulled into the gas station to send Maria inside to get directions.

“Hurry up, the storm is coming, we can’t waste all day on this,” Michael called after Maria on her way to the store. She turned and glared at him.

With better instructions they finally found Eddie’s grandmother’s house. He was waiting on the front porch. Michael watched Eddie looking at Maria as they approached him. The male appreciation was making him uncomfortable. He should have had her wait in the car.

“I didn’t think you were going to come.”

“I had some problems finding the place.” Michael looked over at Maria and noticed her sizing up Eddie, and he knew he didn’t like the female regard.

“Hi, I am Eddie.”

“Maria.” Michael watched Maria smile sweetly at Eddie swallowing a sharp retort.

“Yeah, yeah, so now we are all friends. What do you have for me?” Michael tried to rush the exchange and get him and Maria back on the road.

“Sure, I found this on the floor of the cave.” Eddie reached into his pocket and handed over another amulet necklace with a symbol on it, but this amulet was a strange shape. “Once I found this I started to notice someone following me, or at least I felt that someone was following me. I decided to come here, to maybe shake them.”

“Have you felt anyone watching you since you’ve been here?” Maria asked. She looked around the area almost paranoid about the invisible eyes watching Eddie handing the necklace to Michael.

“No. This is a protected place. No one will come unless they are invited. It was built on holy ground. My grandmother and her people have lived here for generations. No one has ever found a way to move them.”

“Was there anything else you found along with this necklace?” Michael made a special effort to divert Eddie’s attention from Maria.

“No, just that.” Michael quickly grabbed Maria and started pulling her behind him away from Eddie.

Calling behind his back at Eddie, “Thanks man, I’ll be in touch later. We need to go because of the storm.” Maria tried to wave goodbye to Eddie but Michael was already shoving her into the passenger’s seat. She watched him round the car and get into the driver’s seat with some feelings of indignant.

“What’s the big hurry?”

“We’ve got to go. It’s over two hours back to Roswell, and that storm is coming on fast.” Michael pointed to the northeastern skies that were covered in darken clouds. Maria shivered wishing she brought an even warmer coat. Reaching into the back seat she grabbed Michael daypack that he brought with them and grabbed a bottled water for each of them.

“Are we going to make it?”

“I think so. We need to stop for gas along the way. I’ll try to find a place with a restaurant and we can stop for a quick bite to eat, okay?”

“Do we have time?”

“I think so.” Maria held out her hand and Michael looked down realizing that she wanted the amulet. He reached into his pocket and passed it over to her. He kept looking over at her while she moved her hands over the raised patterns.  He was amused when she pulled the necklace over her head and wore it.

They drove for a little over an hour before he finally found a place to stop. They needed gas and Maria was huddled in her thin coat in the corner trying to stay warm. The heater of the Jetta was broken and Michael was afraid to offer to fix it with his powers because he knew Maria would freak over the potential of him blowing up her car by mistake. They needed to stop and get some warm food and drinks in Maria.

Michael quickly gassed up the car and then parked the car in front of the restaurant. He followed Maria into the diner. They sat down across from each other and he occasionally looked over at her trying to decide what was up with her today. Usually when they were on the road she kept them entertained with her constant banter. He couldn’t believe that she didn’t take the opportunity to talk to him about their relationship. For once, she remained quiet leaving him scrambling for conversation topics to fill the silence. He watched her reading the menu while her hand was around the amulet around her neck.

“I think I will just have a salad and ice tea.”

“Maria, you’re cold, maybe something warm. Today’s special is a meatloaf platter.” Michael paused when she finally looked up and their eyes met. He loved looking in her eyes. They were so clear and beautiful. You could see a lifetime in her eyes.

“Meatloaf? I don’t think so. In places like this you don’t even want to imagine what kind of meat is grounded up in it and how long it’s been sitting under the heat lamps with the gravy covering a multitude of botulism. I’ll try the soup and a salad. Will that satisfy you?”

“Whatever.” Michael looked around for the waitress. They needed to eat and get back on the road. In the last half hour he noticed more and more cars passing him coming from the north covered in ice and snow. They only had another hour to travel and they would be home. He turned back to Maria after they received their food. She was complaining about the salad and the use of iceberg lettuce. He just smiled to himself as he ate his cheeseburger and fries. It wasn’t until he was waiting for Maria to get back from the restroom that he felt the first sense of unease. It was the prickling feeling on his neck. Maria was still missing and the longer it took her, the more agitated he became. Finally he tossed the money to cover their food and tip on the table and walked through the restaurant to the back area to find Maria.

Stopping at the restroom door he looked around and then knocked. There was no answer. Trying the doorknob he found the door was locked. Looking around, Michael quickly unlocked the door and entered the room relocking the door behind him. The room was empty, but the window was open and Maria’s coat was folded across the small settee in the restroom along with her bag. Grabbing her coat and bag Michael went through the window. He rounded the building in time to see a car with a man driving and Maria in the passenger seat trying to open the door and get out.

“Maria!!” Michael ran and started the Jetta and went after the car. He had been stupid to let Maria wear the amulet, especially after Eddie had told him that he felt someone was watching him. Then he let Maria out of his sight leaving her vulnerable. Keeping the other cars headlights in view Michael raced through the darkening New Mexico landscape. The winds had increased and the Jetta was being battered around by the strength of the winds. The temperature was dropping drastically and it was starting to rain, freezing rain. The roadway was wet and slick. He could see the distant lights swerve a few times. Using his powers he placed his hand over the heater to fix it. Without Maria there to protest, he fixed the heating unit and turned up the defrost trying to keep the car on the road. He couldn’t stop or he would lose her forever, and that wasn’t going to happen. The skies were darkening and night would fall within the next hour and a half or so.

The road conditions were worsening fast. Michael was forced to slow down or risk an accident. If he lost control of the Jetta there would be no way for him to catch up with Maria. He felt overwhelming despair when the taillights of the car he was following disappeared. Praying that they stayed on this road he continued to follow pushing the speed to the maximum safety. It was twenty minutes later that Michael found them, or rather he almost missed them. They had lost the roadway and were off the road in a huge ditch on the opposite side of the road. The car must have lost control crossed over into the other lane barely missing an oncoming car. The other side of the road was a mess. There were six cars pilled up with the car Maria was in had crashed into the ditch with another car slammed into its rear panels.

Michael quickly took the Jetta past the accident scene and pulled it over in a roadside pullover area. Michael hurried out of the car and rushed back to the accident towards the car Maria was in. Emergency vehicles were arriving and other accident victims were vacating their cars. Michael rushed past all of them to find the car Maria was in empty. The passenger door was open with blood on the window from where Maria must have hit her head.

Michael followed her staggering footsteps from the car. She was heading out into the desert with the storm coming on. The kidnapper that had captured her was following. Michael ran back to the Jetta and grabbed his pack and made sure he had Maria’s coat. Looking in the trunk of the car, Michael found a thin blanket, a flashlight, and a folded up plastic receiving cloth. Pushing all of the supplies into his knapsack, he took off after Maria’s footsteps and those of her pursuing capturer.

He walked for what seemed like hours, but in truth was closer to about ninety minutes. He saw the point where Maria’s pursuer had lost her trail and continued on in the wrong direction. He ignored the other trail and continued to follow Maria. He couldn’t be that far behind her. Her steps were faltering and weaving a little. Concerned about how injured she might be from the accident he tried to move fast despite the cold and increasing winds. It took him almost another two hours to find her. She was sheltered up against a rock face trying to avoid the worse of the winds. Her clothes were too thin and without her coat she was fast suffering hypothermia. The winter skies of white caps and snow clouds kept the desert lit.

When he finally touched her she reared away from him, afraid he was her kidnapper. He couldn’t help but notice that she was still clutching the amulet in her hand, protecting it from her unknown assailant.

“Maria.” He watched the fear clear from her eyes as she threw herself into his waiting arms. God she was so cold, shivering. He quickly opened his jacket and pulled her tight into his body trying to share his body warmth. Opening his pack behind her, he took out her jacket and pushed her arms into it trying to keep her exposed front tight up against his.

“Michael?” Her teeth were chattering so hard that he could barely hear his name. They needed to get back to the car, but the weather was worsening and they were miles from the highway now and despite the lit skies, it was still dark.

“It’s okay. I got you now.” Taking her head in his hands he gently kissed her cold lips that had a slight blue tinge to them. Noting the cut above her brow he was relieved that it appeared only superficial. “I know you are cold and scared, but we need to move, we need to make the car before the storm hits. Can you walk?”

Maria was unable to talk, but extremely glad to be slightly warmer and not alone. She shook her head yes and let Michael start to lead them back towards the highway. They walked for over an hour when Michael noticed how little progress they were making. The winds had increased to an alarming rate and the cold was causing them to walk slow and hutched over trying to minimize exposed surface area. He had covered the original distance in only twenty minutes before. A very cold Maria was slowing him down, but he couldn’t leave her when he had just got her back. It wasn’t for another half hour before he picked up the prints of the kidnapper. He obviously discovered that he had missed Maria’s trail and finally had turned back to find his vehicle and get out of the storm. The warmth from walking gave Maria enough energy to finally talk, and it was nothing but nonstop complaints. Michael smiled to himself as he listened to her. A pissed off complaining Maria was a very much alive Maria.

They walked for over three hours, and the cold and fatigue even stopped Maria’s complaining. He actually missed her bitching and whining because as long as she had the energy to blame him for this situation he felt that they could make it. Suddenly an hour before she stopped talking, stopped blaming him, and just walked in silence. Looking back he was concerned that her steps were slowing and she was wavering, almost in confusion. Going back, he put his arm around her and held her close to his body to guide her. Then the freezing rain came again, but this time in a torrential downpour.

The ground was quickly covered in ice, and both of them were frozen solid. Finding a rock face under a cliff that looked to be protected he picked up Maria and carried her over to the rocks. Leaving her leaning against the face he slowly climbed up to a ledge that would keep them from lying in a puddle of water. Reaching down he extended his hand to Maria.

“Maria! Baby, take my hand.” She remained unmoving against the face. “Maria! Dammit, wake up!” He watched her startle awake and see his hand.

His heart nearly broke to see her small hand slowly move into his. Using what little strength he had left, he pulled her up to him on the ledge. Using the ground receiving cloth as a sling, he fashioned a temporary shelter against the rain and wind. Putting her inside, he followed with this daypack, a flashlight, and the thin blanket. His clothes were wet as were hers. Quickly pulling off his outer clothes and hers to bundled them up in the thin dry blanket and then arranged their wet clothes on top to add insulation against the winds. Her naked body was shivering against him. Pulling her in as close as possible, he tried to keep her as warm as he could under the circumstances. Leaving their wet clothes on would have dropped their body temperature drastically, and they would have died from hypothermia long before morning.

He pulled her knees up between them and put her cold feet between his legs trying to keep them warm. It was unfortunate that even their socks were wet. He swore as the ice cold feet touched his skin robbing him of some of his much needed warmth. Surrounding her body with his, he wished he hadn’t drunk all the water earlier, but in truth they were so wet that the idea of water wasn’t a welcomed one. He kept her small hands between them, but her fingers were so cold. They rested together, huddled in the blanket and under the clothes for what seemed like hours. The snow started in the night, and it covered their shelter, almost making it seem a little warmer. But Michael woke to the sound of Maria talking. She was almost delirious, repeating the same words over and over softly. They were dying; she was dying.

Michael took her small hand in his larger one. The fingers were so cold he was afraid that she would get frostbite. Taking the fingers he put them in his mouth to warm them, to give her even more of his warmth. Through the night he kept up his vigil to keep her extremities warm and supple, using his hands and mouth to warm her, while she rest against him repeating the same things over and over. It wasn’t until early morning when her voice finally quieted that he really worried. Removing her fingers from his mouth, he leaned down and kissed her. She was unresponsive. Kissing her again and moving his hands over her cold skin he tried to warm her, inspire her to come back to him as the signs of hypothermia set in. He almost cried when he first felt the touch of her tongue moving into his mouth.

“Maria, hang on baby, it’s almost morning. Just hang on to me.” They spent the early morning kissing and touching, using increased passion and each other’s bodies to warm up their shelter, to preserve them. His mouth found her, brought her off, and his hands moved over her with the experience they had taught each other over the past year. He couldn’t really guarantee that her mental facilities were aware enough to realize what he was doing to her, what she was doing to him, but it didn’t matter at that moment as long as they survived. Later they would face the consequences, ask the important questions. When he joined his body to hers all he could think of was the words that she kept repeating.

Finally as morning first dawn, Michael reluctantly moved away from her, moved out of her and slowly put himself and her back into their cold stiff clothes. When he broke their connection, she protested, but he needed to get her home before all her bodily functions shut down to the cold. They had survived this far, and he was unwilling to walk away from her, from what he found in her. He had only scratched the surface of his need for her, there was so much more to come.

She was silent, but continued to walk with him trying to keep up. He stopped to let her catch up a few times. He knew she was cold, tired, and sore, but stopping wasn’t an option. After they walked for a few hours the sun finally peaked through the clouds. And while stooping over to help Maria up from where she stumbled and slipped on the ice, he saw the shadow of a man fall across them. Ready to defend them against an unknown enemy, he looked up into Valenti’s eyes. Thank god, the frickin Calvary finally showed up.

~~~

It had been over a week since he saw her last. Sitting in the CrashDown trying to eat his meal while Max talked. Maria had caught a horrible cold from the exposure and their ordeal took its toll on her health. She missed an entire week of school, and Michael couldn’t stop blaming himself for putting her in harms way. But Liz told him that she was cheerful, just sick and tired of being home and pampered by her overly attentive mother. Hopefully after this weekend Maria would return to both school and work and he could finally talk to her. He needed to talk to her. He tried to call, but her mother told him under no uncertain terms that she blamed him for Maria’s poor health. He tried to apologize, but all he got was an angry click and a dial tone.

It was Max’s sudden quietness that clued him into the change in the diner, the presence of someone that had been sorely missed. Turning he saw her. There was Maria, slightly pale and looking too small, smaller than he remembered. His heart sped up at the sight of her. Quickly leaving the table and Max, Michael moved to talk to her, to hear her voice.

“Maria?” She turned to look at him. He held his breath weary of what she might be feeling from not seeing him in so long. He worried about how she felt about him, about what they did and the possible consequences. Her smile widened and he sighed a breath of relief. Her mother might hate his guts, but Maria seemed happy to see him.

“Michael!” He was happy to take her into his arm in a strong hug. He hadn’t expected this reaction, but he was far from opposed to it. Michael couldn’t stop his natural reactions to hold her close and breath in her scent, to feel her close to him. He missed her, and after what they had experienced together he was even more than a little relieved to feel her so warm and healthy in his arms.

“How are you?” Michael pulled back to search her face gently rubbing his thumbs along her cheekbones. He was unaware of their friends’ shock regard of the scene of their reunion. “I called you.”

“I know. I heard.” Maria reached up and gently kissed his lips and when she would have moved away he deepened the kiss ignoring everyone else. Finally Maria pulled back with a small blush on her cheeks when she noticed the others. “I feel better.” Michael followed her glaze and realized that he needed time alone with her. “Someone paid my insurance premium. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I know, but I was supposed to come and see Liz and then go straight home.” Maria smiled at him gently sweeping her hand over his cheek, and then stepping back. “I promised my mom.”

“Maria, we need to talk. I need to know if you are…”

“I’m not.” Michael paused in his track, his heart felt heavy and disappointed. “I mean, I don’t think so, but it is too early to tell.” He felt his heart starting again. It was insane wanting this so bad when he knew how hard it would make her life, but he couldn’t change how he felt, how much he wanted to be tied to her forever.

“I wanted, I mean…Maria.” Michael paused and stuttered over what he needed to say, not knowing how to say it.

“Maybe we can talk later. I should be going home.” He didn’t know what to do so he let her go. She smiled at him and then turned to walk away. He couldn’t let this be the end.

“Wait.” She turned looking at him expectantly. “Can I call you? I mean can I ask you out?”

“Okay.” Maria cocked her head to one side and asked. “When?” Michael swallowed his nervousness and went with his gut.

“Are you doing anything right now?” Maria smiled at his nervousness and how eager he seemed.

“Are you hungry?” She asked.

Reaching down to grab his jacket, ignoring Max and the others and the meal he already ate, he moved towards her. “Starving.” He said huskily taking her arm and leading her out of the CrashDown. The rest just watched them depart in silence.

~~~

When Michael returned from the grocery store he was amazed at the amount of pans Maria had on the stove cooking. He was surprised that she found that much food in his house. Since her illness he hadn’t felt much like cooking let alone shopping. But somehow she found something in his kitchen.

“What did you get? Any green vegetables?” Maria waited for him to unpack the bag.

“Some, but no broccoli, sorry. It all looked really sad. I got stuff for salad, and real lettuce, not iceberg.” He smiled as her eyes narrowed. She was remembering the sad excuse for a salad she ate before her kidnapping. “So what are you cooking?”

“Everything I could find which amounts to one pork chop, some pasta, and I made a red tomato sauce out of something that may have been tomatoes in another life. They must have been reconstituted too.” Maria stopped munching on a piece of celery and looked Michael over. “Any dessert?”

“Ice cream?” Michael pulled a container of ice cream out of the bag and passed it to her to be put into the freezer.

“Ice cream is always a good idea.” Maria grabbed the towel to lift the pasta pot and drain the noodles. “You want to set the table, this is almost done.” Maria watched him take plates and flatware to set the table. “Do you have any candles?”

“Sure, second shelf in the left cabinet.” Michael sneaked a peek at Maria as she opened the cabinet. Her exclamation over the amount of candles was amusing.

“Oh, Michael? Were you expecting a power outage?” Michael came up behind her and took some candles from the shelf.

“Actually, I have this problem of blowing my electrical lights, so I keep a huge supplies until I can replace things.”

“Aw, the powers?”

“Yeah, or rather the lack of control over the powers. They are great for blowing up things.”

“Hmm. I am sure they have more uses. You just have to discover them.” Maria turned to smile at him as she took a huge handful of candles.

Later they sat on the floor in front of the sofa watching the television together with the room lit by candlelight. Michael had taken a blanket and wrapped Maria in it to keep her warm. He didn’t think he would ever get over the sight of her almost frozen to death. Michael was telling Maria the story on the television. It was a classic Alfred Hitchcock thriller of mistaken identity.

“So this man has to run for his life and hide because someone has mistaken him for someone else?”

“Yes, and he has to solve the mystery to get his life back.” Maria leaned back against the sofa.

“So why didn’t he just go to the police or go home where there were people who could collaborate his identity.”

“Well he was lost from his home, separated from his world, and there are too many obstacles in his way preventing him from returning to his normal life. He is a type of fugitive searching for what is lost, trying to find the secrets that will make some sense to his life.” Maria looked at him searchingly.

“When was the first time you saw this movie?”

Michael just shrugged.  “I don’t know. Maybe when I was like thirteen or so.”

“You could identify with his plight, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Was the man a hero, valiant?”

“Yes.” Maria moved in closer to Michael stroking his face.

“You’re my hero. I think I have never met a more valiant person in my life.” Michael met her eyes and saw the honesty of what she was saying. It always worried him how she saw him, but for some reason Maria always saw him like no other person. He was addicted to what she saw. It was how he wanted to be seen, and he found it harder and harder to disappoint her, to break that image. God knew that he had pushed the limit a few times. But since the ice storm, all that has changed. Whatever happened no longer mattered, he just knew that she belonged to him, and that he belonged to her, heart, body, and soul.

Moving in close Michael took her mouth in a deep gentle kiss, concentrating on all the sensations he had missed while she was sick. It didn’t matter. She was in his arms now. He pulled her deep inside his mouth tasting the unique taste of her, feeling the mating of her tongue with his. She was the only person able to open up his heart with that endless sinking feeling that spiraled down an endless pit, where only the touch of her, the smell and sounds were the only anchor left in his life. She was the anchor that guided him across the dark abyss of his life.

His body remembered her, wanted her. It had been so long, so very long. The more he took, the more he needed. His senses were clambering to have his mark on her, to imprint himself on her. She sat up on her knees and pulled him to her. They kissed deeply while his hands roamed over her body. There was no way he could be with her like this and not be moved by her. She was everything. She was all he wanted, all he needed. His body protested violently when she pulled away, her mouth swollen from his kisses, her shirt unbuttoned, and her breathing coming labored.

“I need to leave.” He had to clench his hands to keep himself from refusing to let her go, to pull her back into his groin and mate his body with hers. It had been so long, but he promised himself that he would date her, court her affections back to him. He wanted their next mating to be a mutual agreement, and not one of survival. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. There was so much between them left unsaid so much that needed to be answered to and atoned for. And yet, he let the opportunity slide for the chance of a peaceful evening in her company.

“I know.” Michael stood and helped her to her feet. She kissed him one last time before walking out his door. “Damn.” He stood staring at the closed door for a few moments as his jaw clenched and unclenched, trying to control his instincts of running after her, grabbing her and bringing her back, and trapping her at his side. Moving away from the door and slowly clearing the table of the dinner dishes and stacking them by the sink, he was surprised to hear the knock at his door. Wiping his hands and dropping the towel on the counter, he went to answer the door.

Maria stood there looking quiet and dark. She looked at him with dark angry eyes. He couldn’t move or talk. This was her move. She could have just left him with the impression that everything was okay and fixed between them, but that would have been a lie.

“Did you think that we could just go on? Just forget everything that happened before like it never happened?”

“No.” Michael tried to shake his head no when she came through the door and pushed him violently up against the kitchen counter. Her small fist clipped him on the side of the jaw. He grabbed her hands as she tried to pound on his chest. Folding her in his arms he let her cry and rage against him.

“You bastard. You left me, walked away, pushed me out of your life.” Michael barely avoided another blow from her hands. “How could you do that to me, to us? After you knew how I felt, how you felt? How could you just throw it away?” Michael pulled her into his arms, his one hand holding her hands in his, while the other moved around her neck under hair pulling her face close to his.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry.” He whispered. He felt her tears on his face as their mouths found the others. He could feel her sorrow, her anger of being left alone, and her loneliness of not knowing if she would ever find him again. He let her feel his sorrow, how much pushing her away from him cost him. Taking her deeper into himself, he ravished her mouth, mating his sorrow and regret with her forgiveness. Reaching out a hand, keeping his mouth joined to hers, he slammed the front door shut.

They kissed desperately while Michael slowly walked them backwards towards his bedroom. He was quickly removing her coat and outdoor stuff, until they reached his bed. He fell backwards with her following him, her mouth never leaving his. It was the small groan that finally had her pull back.

“I’m sorry.” She looked down his body to see if her knee did any damage.

“It’s okay. I probably deserved it.” She reached down and gently kissed him and then smiled gently.

“You do.”

His hand came back to her neck pulling her mouth back to his. He took her inside, with all that he was wide open, allowing her to see everything, to give her the chance to really see the man he was inside. His eyes were closed as he felt a rush of sensations vibrate between them. He could feel her heartbeat, the sound of air in her lungs, and the rush of blood beneath his fingertips. Slowly opening his eyes he was caught in her earnest regard. And in a flash what she was, who she was to him rushed through his body like the rush that he usually associated to losing himself in the beat of music, that primitive rush that speaks only to the deepest part of your soul. Groaning, her mouth was once more feeding on his. He finally pulled his mouth away as hers went to his neck causing his eyes to half close. He looked to the side and found her beautiful hand, taking the small hand in his again; he sucked the fingers into his mouth feeding her his warmth and life force. His eyes closed as the rush of sucking on her fingers overwhelmed him and he fell in love with her all over again.

They couldn’t stop the spiraling need. The want to feel her skin all along his, to hold her close in his arms like he did on the Cliffside in the desert became the one desire he couldn’t deny. It seemed that the same want was motivating Maria to help him remove his clothes along with hers. The hiss of relief from both of them was long and heartfelt when finally their bodies rested against the others with hands and mouth wandering and exploring.

"I may have to ravage you. Again. " The primitive warrior sprang and crushed his prey into his arms. Holding her so close that she could barely breath. “What I want from you, how I want you would make your mother hunt me down and kill me.”

"Careful. That might actually happen, yet." Maria laughed as she snuggled into Michael's embrace. "Well, there is one good thing out of me getting kidnapped and almost freezing to death."

"And that would be?"

"Would we be here," hand waving over their naked bodies on the narrow bed, "like this if I hadn't stirred the primitive soldier to action by almost dying in your arms?"

Michael blushed. "I shouldn't have..."

Maria tapped a finger over Michael's lips and shook her head. "No, I understand. I rather like the aggressive you. The part of you that takes action out of instinct rather than the one that tries to over think it." She deepened her voice into a husky whisper against his lips and stared challengingly, "Dare he take me again? Do you think he can take me on in the everyday real world?"

Fire filled the alien soldier’s eyes and a growled 'mine' rumbled before Michael took possession of Maria's mouth, again. It was more than just love and desire; it was possession. It was finding that something special that belongs to part of your heart, but you never realized it was missing until one day it was found. And once found, the thought of ever letting it go again or living without it was inconceivable.

Maria gave herself up to the kiss, sighing with pleasure as her body sang with the feel of her lover's warm flesh pressing her into the mattress. This was the reality of love and regardless of what anyone else could say it was far better than any Cliffside or the hardness of rock. The warm body above and the soft mattress beneath folded her in a private world where only the two of them existed.

A kaleidoscope of sensory fragments bombarded him as his senses took in all of her. A long kiss that closed his eyes as he let her move inside him let the feel of her take over his heart. His skin became sensitive, the sheets almost chafing, and Maria's hands skimming his chest created an ache, almost electric, in his nipples when her mouth moved to bite him gently. Maria's soft husky voice reached him in that place he resided feeling her all over him. "Oh, Michael. Look at you. So beautiful."

With all their clothes gone he could feel her all along his skin. She pushed him over so that he was flat on his back with Maria kneeling next to him, her hair loose and moving over his shoulders, beautiful blond hair and pale body with the glint of her earrings drawing his attention to her beautiful ears and neck. He gulped at the dryness in his throat trying to keep the moan from escaping, but she was not helping his control issues. Maria was bending over him, her mouth on Michael's skin, impossibly hot. The tingling trail Maria drew down Michael's throat, his chest, and his waist. She paused at his stomach to leave sucking kisses on his skin and to rub her face against him.

Michael was close to incoherent. Was he making those sounds? When her lips brushed past his cock he could feel the trembles move over his body. Knees nudge his thighs apart as she made a warm place for herself against him. Maria tossed her head once to move the hair out of the way, and pulled Michael into her mouth.

Michael’s over sensitive skin appreciated the movement of Maria hair over him, but the warmth of her mouth was his undoing. He could feel the pleasure everywhere in his body, his legs, and his fingertips. Groaning. Too soon Maria pulled away, and he gasped as his body rebelled against the loss of her.

"There's so much I want to do with you so many places I want to go with you." The intent in Maria's voice was like honey over Michael's tight nerves. Finger and thumb close around one nipple, he arches, Maria smiles. "So sensitive."

"Surprise," Michael manages from a dried throat. Laughter's familiar warmth replaces the ache, the hunger, and the fire. Then the fire returns as Maria's mouth on his throat ripped what little breath he still had from his lungs. And she poses a question pressed into his skin along his neck below his ear.

"Tell me what you want."

Images flash through his mind, his private night-time slide show, the illicit fantasies, all the things he thought of since that night, and since the first time he touched her at the CrashDown party over a year ago pressing a silver handprint to her breast. "You, all of you, inside me forever and me inside you, all of you forever. I don’t ever want to be without you again."

Gratifying, Maria's intake of breath stuck in her throat and the way her color raised along her skin told Michael how effected she was at his answer. Sensations became even more intense as he ran his hand over her naked smooth back. It was a kind of awakening. Michael could feel Maria's breathing; her helpless moans as his hands touched her, as if the sounds were imprinted in his skin. Lying on his back he could feel the brush of cotton sheets torturing his sensitive skin as she moved over him and the way her noises surprised his ears. The rasp of her tongue along his chest with the feel of her incredibly beautiful small hands moving over him and along his groin, and finally her mouth joining with his again with those impossible little thrusts melting his insides as her tongue mated with his in that timeless dance, the pleasure like colors swirling.

Senses tangled like crossed-wires as he couldn’t distinguish where she began and he ended. Maria's hand caressed him drawing a very vocal response from him, and the taste of her was like the richest caramel. Maria moved up his body for a kiss that became even deeper, and the sound of waves echoed in his ears as he lost himself in her.

The feelings were new, not like anything ever before. Being filled by everything that was her, letting her take over his heart and soul, and giving her that special place to make hers. Maria's unconscious sighs moved like fireworks up Michael's spine. As her tongue pulled out of his mouth and then glided back in, drinking from him. Michael's mouth was open, someone is groaning, a stream of sound.

He's been reintroduced to his body. So this is what it's for, he thought, and he could see his tight knuckles clenching the bedspread trying to keep himself from grabbing her, turning her under him and taking control. Every hair on the back of his hand looks new. He couldn’t stop him self from pushing back, mating his mouth with Maria’s and pushing himself even harder into her hand. Maria's gasp was a reward. They were in a perfect harmony, dipping into pleasure, and rocking together.

"Come for me," Maria whispered. Helpless, Michael's body obeyed. He was aware of a last muted "Oh God" as Maria’s hand tightened on him, and then everything went white.

"Michael."

He opens one eye and can't help laughing. Maria was propped up on one elbow with hair everywhere, and skin still flushed. She looked terrified.

"I'm here," Michael says. Throat slightly raspy. Had he screamed?

"You scared the crap out of me, honey. I've been calling your name for five minutes, here."

Michael stretched until he felt his spine pop. He couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

"Can't have been five minutes, honey," he said mocking her use of an endearment. "Your heartbeat's still up and pounding a mile a minute."

Maria looked like she's trying to glare, but isn't quite pulling it off. "Fine, more like a minute or two," she admitted. "But I was worried. Hell of a time to lose consciousness, Michael."

"Nothing's ever...felt that good."

Maria gave up on angry and just looked pleased, like the proverbial canary-eating cat. "Really?" She sounded delighted. "Wow." Michael could see her trying to compose herself. "Well, good," Maria said after a minute, with finality. Flops down on the bed and Michael.

There was a pause. As Michael looks down at her and waited until she couldn’t resist looking up at him. They both broke down in laughter as he held her against him. Reaching over, he stroked the curve of Maria's back and hip. She was like art, he thought, but alive.

Maria hummed quietly. "Mm. You have exactly thirty seconds to stop that or I will be expecting more."

Michael chuckled and moved her even closer, using both his hands. With thumbs pressed along Maria's shoulder blades he moved his hands down her back. Backrubs were old territory for them, but nakedness was new, as was afterglow. Jesus, Michael thought, I'm still grinning.

Maria closed her eyes and pillowed her head on her arms across Michael’s chest. Radiating contentment and satisfaction, it occurred to Michael that she didn't seem to be grieving or angry any more, that finally maybe they had made their peace over the horror of the past summer and fall.

"You sleepy?"

"Uh-uh," Maria said. "Enjoying this, but I’m not sleepy."

"Me neither," he said. It was early evening and he was wide-awake. For once, it made him glad that he was awake because she was there with him, loving him, and not just haunting him with the lack of her presence.

"I love you, Michael."

The band that had been constricting Michael's heart for the last several months began a slow, gentle loosening. Pushing her away, hurting her was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and in some ways, the only thing he couldn’t really do. Because despite everything, he kept flirting with her, keep asking her to help him, and kept finding ways to keep her at his side. It was as if a battle between his heart and his head raged and raged, until finally almost losing her made both of them, his heart and head come to an agreement. That despite all the unknown dangers in the future and the uncertainty of his nature, she belonged to him at his side.

"You left off the you big jerk."

"You were listening to my mind?"

"Yes."

"...it was there, sub textually speaking."

"Ah, well, sub textually speaking, I love you too."

"Amazing."

"What?"

"I definitely heard the sub textual you adorable sex pot."

"Maria, there are sub textual levels and then there are Maria sub textual levels. You heard that on the Maria level. Now on the Michael level you should have heard, I love you, you adorable sex kitten."

"Uh, huh. Sex kitten, Michael? Yuck, let’s not get each other tattoos. I hate to see what you have me put on my body."

"I love you, and the only thing you are allowed to put on your body is Me."

"Ah. Yes."

Michael let his lips rest lightly on Maria's, still hesitant, unsure. Maria's lips parted and for a moment, she flashed on that night and their first time together, but that had been cold, physical and almost anatomical in their need for warmth and survival. As Michael let his tongue quest for permission, Maria felt the difference immediately. Need. Michael and his needs were to know that she wanted him despite what happened the first time, and that she had no regrets, no obligations that bound them together but that she wanted him of her own free will.

Maria brought her arm up and around his neck to allow the kiss to deepen and when it did, she found that it wasn't enough. He wasn't in deep enough, because kissing could be the most intimate act, not just a preamble, not just a place to be, it could be a joining, a touching of souls, and she wanted to join with him all ways possible.

She realized that Michael's arms were tightening, that his tongue was delving, tasting and that his senses were dialed up that he was opening the connection to let her inside. And she smiled into the kiss, because Michael was telling her, showing her, his love in this most intimate act. This was his last hidden reserve and he was giving it to her, trusting her inside.

Maria let her mind and body go, gave into Michael, to the love, gave up to his worries, trusted, and the kiss became the center of their universe, because both of them were saying so much. She felt him inside every piece of her as her body exploded in an orgasmic rush, and her eyes opened to join his in a rush of understanding.

The kiss ended, slowly, with smaller kisses, with parting and diving back in, with small moans. But finally, end it did as Michael dropped his head and nestled in Maria's neck, buried in hair and whispered, "Thank you."

Taking his head in her hands she lifted it away from her body and looked deep into his eyes. “No, thank you.” Michael moaned and kissed her again smiling when he heard her whisper, “Mine.”

~~~

It was still early enough in the evening for them to get up and around before Maria really needed to go home. Cleaning up the earlier meal, Michael dished them up some ice cream and sat on the sofa with Maria watching a hockey game. He was mentally preparing himself to let her go soon. This was harder than he ever thought it would be. His body and mind were telling him over and over again that she was his; only his and she belonged at his side. Letting her go, even just to return home was making his instincts go wild. Kissing her gently, he told her he needed to go to the store again real quick. She just settled back and rested while he quickly left the apartment.

He somehow managed to get back in a quick amount of time. Outside of his apartment he heard the strains of a lovely melody, heard the words Maria had sung to him earlier as they lay dying in the cold and he let Maria's voice replace the singers, let the warmth, the cadence of her voice massage out the heartache of almost losing her as he quietly opened the door and noting the sleeping figure, maintained his stealth as he set the flowers down, put them in water and finally walked to the sofa putting a brown paper bag on the floor under the coffee table.

The lightening and thunder were moving in with another storm, leaving only the now mild rain with promises of more violence to come. Michael gazed down at the young woman sleeping on his sofa, let his eyes roam free, concentrated on the even rise and fall of the chest, smiled at the flashlight she must have found when she heard the thunder still in the grip of her left hand, and as the song on the CD came to an end, the lyrics were repeated.

"...hear my silent prayer, heed my quiet call, when the darkened lips surround you, step into my side, look inside the light, you will know that I have found you..."

It was like the call of her voice guiding him across the lonely dark abyss, and for once he realized that for her, he was the same to her, a light of salvation. He finally understood that in a sense they were the same, and yet different. It was the differences that added all the spice and unpredictability in their relationship. He spent a lifetime hating his childhood, but somehow Maria was able to make him see it in a different light, to finally understand that it was the struggle of the journey that made him glad to survive, and with her, he would continue to survive just not alone.

Michael walked to the front of the sofa, and gently, careful not to disturb the sleeping Maria, he lifted her and slid his own body underneath, then lowered Maria so that her head now rested in his lap. For the next few hours, Michael held his life in his arms and knew true contentment.

It was the knock at the door that drew his attention from the hockey game and her. Calling for whomever it was to come in, he wasn’t surprised to see Amy DeLuca entering his apartment. With a quick gesture of quiet and another to have her come near, he watched his future mother-in-law shut the apartment door and come over. He quickly looked over relieved to see that they had shut the bedroom door earlier. Somehow he doubted Amy would be too pleased to see his tangled up bed sheets and evidence of their prior use.

“I was going to call you and let you know she was here, but time slipped away. Sorry.” Amy paused looking at the picture they made. Her daughter peacefully sleeping curled up next to him with her head resting in his lap and him holding her gently running his hand through her hair. It was the look in his eyes as he looked down at her, the love on his face, and the gentle reverence of his hand on her that made Amy swallow all the words she had meant to say, the anger that brought her to his apartment to retrieve her daughter.

“You love her.” Michael looked up at the surprise in her voice. Looking at Amy in earnest, he gave her the only answer he could.

“With all my heart, she is everything to me.” Amy slowly lowered herself to the sofa beside the sleeping Maria and watched him. His unwavering regard did much to endear him to her.

“She may be pregnant.” Michael startled at her words.

“I know.” Michael looked down at the sleeping Maria and realized he should have known she would have told her mother the truth. She wasn’t like him. She never ran away from problems, but rather faced them head on. “I asked her if she knew yet. That was one of the reasons I was so desperate to talk to her. I didn’t want her to face it alone, to be afraid that I wouldn’t be there for her.”

“Will you?” Michael looked at Amy. “Will you be there for her if she is, despite how hard it will be?” Amy actually gasped at the smile that slowly moved over his face, the change in his expression, and the movement of his hand down her daughter’s body to rest on her flat stomach where his child might be resting.

“Yes, yes I will be. I would never leave her or my child.” Reaching down, he placed a kiss on Maria’s brow and rested against her. “I know it will be hard, but I am having a hard time not wanting anything more than to have her pregnant with my child. I don’t deserve her, and part of me knows that this will be one way that I can have her.”

“Is that why you…”

“No.” Michael looked up at Amy. “I would never do that to Maria. I would always give her the choice. This was a unique circumstance. I didn’t have any protection and she was almost frozen to death. I tried everything I could to keep her warm. I thought I was losing her.” Reaching down to stroke her cheek. “It was my last option.”

“So sex was the last alternative? That’s quite a line, better than most.” Michael smiled at that.

“I doubt she will let me use it again.” Amy couldn’t help but smile at that. “I wish I could have given her a choice, but God help me, I didn’t even ask her permission. She was too far gone, and by the time she came back to me, it was already too late to protest.”

Amy watched the emotions run across his face. The regret was the most obvious emotion, the fear that he abused Maria against her will, and the fear that the act was nothing short of rape. After talking to Maria, and hearing her part of the story, she knew that Michael had little reason to worry. That Maria even though half frozen to death had been aware of what Michael was doing, and she didn’t protest because she needed him, needed his warmth.

“It wasn’t rape, Michael.” He looked at her startled that she used the very word that he couldn’t utter, but raced through his mind. “She knew it was you, and even if she was half dead, believe me, my Maria would have made her objections known.”

“But she was…”

“Saved by you.” Amy stood up and stretched, reaching down to place a gentle kiss on her daughter’s head and running a loving hand over her hair.  Taking Michael’s hand she gave it a squeeze and kissing his forehead. “I am leaving her here with you tonight. I trust you to take care of her, because I know I can trust you to do that. I may not be pleased with how the two of you always seem to find trouble together, but I do believe that you love her.” Amy moved towards the door and before leaving she turned back. “You may not believe that you are good enough for her, but because she loves you and you love her makes you good enough in my book. Now you need to talk to her about this.” Amy started to leave, but turning around one last time. “Oh, and Michael?”

Michael looked at her with total surprise and attention. “Yes.” His voice rushed out of his body, almost breathlessly.

“Get some protection. If she isn’t pregnant now, then I think you both should consider waiting. A child should be planned for, wanted and prepared for by both parents.” With that Amy left his apartment. The last thing he heard before the door shut was, “Nice flowers.” Looking down at his sleeping girlfriend and mate, he gave himself a laugh. DeLuca women, oh boy. Rubbing a hand over his face he could hardly keep his mirth under wraps. What was he thinking? Rearranging his body under hers, he pulled her on top of him and leaned back to rest in the quiet.

~~~

Maria woke a few hours later in the dark room lit only by the soft glow of the television as she snuggled into the warmth feeling too comfortable to move. It took a moment for her to realize that she was snuggling up to the hard body of Michael, and that it was late, real late. Trying to sit up, Maria felt his arm come around her and pull her back down to him.

“Michael, it’s late. I need to go. My mom is probably already ready to kill me.” Maria reached down and tried to dislodge the arm around her squirming to get away.

“Calm down. You are getting me all excited.” Michael pulled her hard into his body to let her feel that he wasn’t kidding about the excited remark. “Your mom has already been and gone. She left you here with me to take care of you.”

Maria stopped struggling a looked at him with horror in her face. “She was here?” Maria quickly looked over at the closed bedroom door.

“Yes she was here, and no the door wasn’t open. But it wouldn’t matter would it Maria? You already told her about us, and she knew where to look for you.” Maria looked at Michael and sighed.

“I had to tell her. I couldn’t just wait until I knew, because she had a right to know, to be prepared in case.”

“In case you are pregnant?”

“Yes. She worked hard her life as a single parent taking care of me. I know that if I ended up a pregnant unwed mother that she would take it bad, take it as a failure on her part. I had to let her know that we didn’t do it foolishly, that we weren’t just being stupid.”

Michael looked down at her, hearing what she was saying, and understanding it perfectly, but she was wrong in her assessment. “We better get this clear immediately Maria. You will never be a single parent, nor will you ever be a teenage unwed mother. If you are pregnant, we get married, simple as that.”

“Michael, I don’t want…”

“I would have preferred to ask you, date you, and maybe a long engagement to drive your mother insane wondering what we were up to, but this would work too.”

Maria looked up at him in shock when what he was saying sunk in. “Engaged. You were going to ask me to marry you?”

Michael looked at her shock and confusion. With everything that had come before her reaction wasn’t a surprise. But some things had gone on too long. Taking her hand in his and bringing it to his mouth, and unable to stop himself he sucked her fingers into his mouth as his eyes closed. She could feel the reaction all the way to her toes. The half frozen memory of him sucking on her fingers, keeping them warm would always be with her.

“Maria. If I don’t marry you someday, then I will never marry anyone. You are the only person I could ever imagine myself with now or in the future.” Taking her chin in his hand, he turned her face towards him reaching down and gently licking than kissing her lips. “I just figured I had more time to warm you to the idea, to make amends for all the times I left you alone or disappointed you.”

“But the possibility of a baby changes that?”

“No. It just speeds things up.” Kissing her deeply, he moved his hand down her body to rest on her stomach. “I want this. I want a baby with you, but I wanted it to a mutual decision, something you wanted too and not something foisted on you like this.”

“Michael, if it happens, if I am pregnant, I won’t regret it.” Putting her hand over his where it rested on her flat stomach. “You saved…”

“I took advantage of you. I took you without consent.”

“What?” Maria looked at him in shock, taking his head and forcing him to look at her. “Michael, is that what you think, that I didn’t have a choice? That you took advantage of me?”

“I swear Maria. I thought I was losing you. It was the last thing I could think of to generate some heat. But you weren’t with me; you hardly knew that I was there at first.” Taking her hand to his mouth and kissing it. “And when you finally started to respond, when I thought I had you back with me, I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to ask you because I was almost afraid you would say no, and I needed to feel you warm next to me, with me.”

“Michael, I knew you were there. I knew it was you, and yes, I was cold, but I wanted it too. I wanted you. I needed the warmth you could provide, and I didn’t even hesitate or think about protection. I just didn’t want you to stop.” Maria pushed him back against the sofa as she sat up and straddled his hips putting her hands on his shoulders and leaning down close to him. “So if you are looking for someone to blame, then you will have to share the blame with me.” Pausing to kiss him, teasing him with a small lick and a quick kiss pulling back when he would have deepened it. “I didn’t protest or even try to stop you, and I could feel you, all of you, and I knew that you didn’t have protection, but I still didn’t protest or even try to stop it.”

“Maria, you were…”

“No I wasn’t. I know you thought that I was gone with hypothermia, but I promise you that I was very much with you. Especially when you did that thing with your tongue.”

“That thing with my tongue?” Michael paused and thought about it and suddenly remembered. “Oh! That thing, the tongue thing,” Michael smiled at that. “You liked that?”

“Definitely, I liked. You have a wickedly talented tongue.” Maria moved over his body taking his mouth in a long kiss, enjoying his hands on her. “What did my mom say?”

“That I needed to get protection because children should be planned for, and just in case you aren’t we shouldn’t take risks.”

“You’re kidding right? She told you to get protection?” Maria opened his shirt and moved her hand inside along his chest stroking his skin. “So do you have any? Protection?”

Michael laughed. “Why do you think I went out to the store? I bought that and those.” Michael pointed over to the flowers in water he left on the kitchen countertop.

“Flowers? For me?” Michael was happy with Maria’s reaction to his buying her flowers. She quickly got up and went over to the counter to smell them. Picking them up, she brought them back to the living room and put them on the lower coffee table where she could look at them. “So where is the other thing you bought for me?”

“What?” Michael was confused trying to think of what he forgot to buy.

Maria leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Condoms?” Michael could almost feel a blush move up his neck as he pointed to the brown bag under the coffee table. “Hmm, smart keeping them close at hand like that.”

“I didn’t want to be caught unprepared again.”

“Hmm.” Maria looked at him and saw how uncertain he was. “What’s wrong? Are you having second thoughts about us?”

“What? No, god no. But, your mom is right. We need to think this through like adults, not take chances. If and when we have children I want them to know they were wanted, planned for, and that we waited for them. I guess I been thinking that we aren’t ready for this, for this degree of intimacy.”

“You don’t want to make love with me.”

“Yes, of course I do. For god’s sake, Maria, I am seventeen. The thought of getting lucky take up only a good ninety-five percent of my waking thoughts, and all of my sleeping ones. But I want it to be more than teenage groping. I want it to mean something more.”

“And it doesn’t now.”

“Yes, it means more, but I don’t want to just feel you up in the eraser room, or pull you under the bleachers, or stalk you in the break room at the CrashDown. I want it to be us, somewhere that belongs to us, a place where we can be together, and I mean really together, like a real couple, and not just hormone driven teenagers. I want us to grow up and make choices to be together because it is all we want.”

“It is all I want. If this were all about hormones you and I would have been going at it over a year ago. Why do you think I held out on getting more and more physical with you?”

“I just want you to be sure of me. I want you to know that this means everything to me, that you aren’t just some girl, that you are special.”

“This is about you and me. It is about me wanting you close to me, and if you want something special, a special place, then what is wrong with this place?” Michael was having a hard time concentrating while Maria was rubbing her hands over his chest, down his body, and playing with the strings of his sweats.

“Don’t you want to wait? Don’t you want me to ask you out on a date? Let me take you places, buy you flowers and junk? You know, treat you more like Max treats Liz? I thought that was what you wanted.”

“It was. It is, but I also want you. Is there any reason that we can’t be doing it and do that stuff too? I mean, does it guarantee that once a guy gets lucky he starts taking the girl for granted, or what? Can’t we do both?”

“Yes, but I want you to be sure. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Maria grabbed Michael’s head and looked him directly in the eye. “You didn’t take advantage of me. If this is what this is about then you need to let it go.”

“I’ll try.” Michael looked down at the erotic picture of Maria’s hands on his body. “So how do we start?”

“How did we start last time?” Michael actually looked embarrassed at that question. “Michael?”

“I don’t remember. I mean, we just, I just…”

“Okay, so how about we take a bath and then see what happens after that? Let’s just go with what feels natural, okay?”

“Okay.” Michael reached down and pulled Maria up after him and into the bathroom. When they made it to the bathroom door Maria pushed Michael up against the wall and leaned in with her arm going around his neck. Michael groaned when her mouth met his. He shut his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her pulling him into the bathroom and shutting the door behind them.

~~~

It was early morning when Max let himself in Michael’s apartment. He wanted Michael to go with him and Isabel on a special run for his parents. He tried to call but the phone was busy, so he took a chance that Michael would be home. Entering the apartment he noticed all the burned out candles around the room and the phone off the hook. Max paused and looked around the apartment unsure whether he should continue into the place.

Going to the bedroom he paused before entering the room. The first thing he saw when he opened the door was Michael’s foot and following it up he saw Maria’s foot resting along Michael’s leg. Their legs were entangled. Following his view upward he found Michael sleeping soundly on his back with Maria sleeping sprawled across him. Michael was definitely sleeping nude with an equally nude Maria. Feeling shocked Max moved back out of the room silently shutting the door. Leaving the apartment, he locked the door behind him and went back out to the jeep. Isabel was sleeping in the passenger seat waiting for him and Michael. She woke up when he got back in the jeep.

“What? Where is Michael? Is he coming?” Isabel looked at her brother in confusion. He looked a little flushed.

“No. I think Michael wants to sleep in this morning. He had a late night I think.”

“You think?” Isabel looked at her brother suspiciously. “Okay, what is going on?”

“I don’t think you want to know Isabel.”

“Just tell me.”

“Maria. Maria spent the night, and they were still asleep. I don’t think Michael would have taken kindly to me waking them up to go on a road trip to Albuquerque.”

“Maria with Michael? Well it is about time. Let’s go.” Max just looked over at his sister and surprised and backed out of the parking space. He obviously missed something.

~~

It was another three weeks before Michael found himself sitting on the sofa in the DeLuca household. Maria had missed her monthly period, but she was always irregular so they waited an extra two weeks. He sat waiting for Maria to come back from the bathroom. He wanted to go with her, but Amy told him to sit, so that was what he did. He couldn’t help but keep watching the hallway leading to where Maria was.

Amy sat in a chair watching Michael with Jim sitting on the arm of the chair. Michael and Maria had been incredible together over the last three weeks. They spent so much extra time together and Amy actually was getting use to find Michael sleeping in Maria’s bed. Maria confessed to her that it wasn’t about sex that made him come over to the house, but rather he was having a hard time sleeping when she was not with him. Maria thought that he was still dreaming about her freezing to death and somehow having her near helped him chase away the nightmare. She could understand how he felt since the nightmare of Maria dying was still haunting her.

The first time she found them sleeping she almost reacted the same way she did before, but after a pause she looked at them piled together, so peaceful, and looking so young. Finally she woke them and told both of them that they needed to get around or they would be late for school. After that Michael started getting up and starting the coffee and sitting at the kitchen table to read the morning paper while Maria hogged the bathroom and all the hot water. Somehow they slowly built a family unit of mother, daughter and future son-in-law with Jim stopping by some mornings for breakfast.

The first time Jim came for breakfast, Michael just looked him up and down and asked if he just got there, and Jim’s blush clued Michael in that breakfast was part of his staying overnight. They looked each other over, and while the DeLuca women were absent Michael asked exactly what Valenti’s intentions were towards his mother? Amy was listening just about ready to enter the kitchen when she heard Michael’s question. It warmed her heart to listen to him protecting her and becoming defensive that Jim might just be using her. And Jim’s answer that this was a very serious relationship that he had plans to make it more permanent surprised her, especially when Michael told him that if it were the case then maybe he should buy her a ring.

So for the past week she started wearing an engagement ring. Amy and Jim deciding to make it a long engagement since they literally had four teenagers, counting Michael, and all of them were in the same grade. The dynamics of trying to join the families was going to take work. Tess and Kyle were just settling into a family unit with Jim, and Amy and Maria just added Michael. Now they were waiting to see if they were adding a baby to the mix.  Michael got up and started pacing again. He was becoming more and more anxious. Amy went over and pushed him back down to the sofa and patted his arm. Returning to her seat next to Jim as the opening of the bathroom door drew all of their attention to Maria as she entered the room.

Maria’s went straight to Michael and standing in front of him she handed him the pregnancy test. He looked at it and then putting his hands on her waist pulled her closer, resting his head against her abdomen. Maria’s hand moved over his head and bending down she kissed the top of his head and hugged him closer to her body. Amy watched them for a few moments. She was actually getting use to the amount of affection they showed each other, but she wanted to know. Getting up Amy took the test from Michael’s hand and read it. Looking down at Michael’s head she brushed her hand over his head. It was negative. She knew how much he wanted it to be positive. He knew that it would hard, but for Michael it meant family, it meant finally belonging. She kneeled down next to him and waited as Maria pulled him away from her body. His disappointment was evident throughout his body.

“It’s okay, honey. It just means that you and Maria have more time to plan your wedding, to make a home, and make plans for a baby.”

Michael looked over at Amy with gratitude in his eyes. Part of him suspected that Amy allowed him in their lives only because of the possibility of a baby. Suddenly he was beginning to understand that he had a place in Maria’s life regardless. They had time to grow up, to make plans for the future, and to create a home for themselves. But a part of him would always want the child they could have created that night.

Maria watched Michael and her mother interact with a smile. She had spent th