"We're going Max! And that's final!" Philip Evans called after his son, his voice finally raised to a yell.

Isabel Evans flinched as her brother slammed his bedroom door. Music suddenly blared from behind it - Metallica if she was not wrong...Darn Michael! She thought...Why did he have to give that CD to Max for Christmas?

She curled up in the corner of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. She eyed her father and mother, who were still staring after Max, angry and hurt expressions reflected on their faces.

Why does Max have to be such a jerk all the time? Isabel asked herself for the thousandth time...Why doesn't he care how much he's hurting everyone?

Because he doesn't care about anything anymore, a little voice in the back of her mind told her, and he hasn't for almost a year...ever since Liz Parker walked away from him.

Diane Evans sank into a recliner near Isabel, taking her daughter's hand. "We're sorry that you got pulled into the middle of this again Izzy." Tears were beginning to form in her mother's blue eyes..."We just think that this trip might be good for your brother. He never leaves his room anymore, only to go to school...."

And barely even there, Isabel thought wryly to herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually seen Max at school...she knew for a fact that he had almost flunked three of his classes in first semester.

"It's okay mom," Isabel squeezed her mother's hand. "We did have fun last year, right Daddy?" Philip Evans turned and smiled weakly.

"We sure did Iz." Suddenly his face lit up. "Hey! Do you think Max might want to come if we ask Michael along?"

Isabel nodded reluctantly. Max and Michael were still inseparable. However, she was not currently Michael's biggest fan. "Yeah, probably dad." Philip nodded enthusiastically.

"And you can invite Tess..." Isabel raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure that camping is exactly Tess' thing." She muttered. But Isabel knew that if Tess knew that Max was going, she would come. Isabel wasn't really sure she cared one way or the other. Yes, Tess was technically her best friend, but really only due to circumstance.

Isabel felt a brief pang..."Alex..." But she quickly supressed it. It was too painful. Their break-up had been doubly brutal, because not only had he been her boyfriend, he had been her best friend too - the only non-alien she could really depend on, the only one who had known - and loved - the real her. They had tried so hard to stay together, despite all that destiny crap, but what with Max and Liz, and Michael and Maria...it had just been impossible...

Isabel thought she might have been able to handle it if she had had someone to talk to, but there was just no one...Michael was impenetrable, Tess was annoying and Max....

Has it really been over six months since I wore this stupid outfit? She asked herself, continuing to peer into the mirror. I look exactly the same...how can that be?

Despite herself, Liz thought back to the last shift she had worked - or, at least had been scheduled to work. It had been the night that Nasedo had disguised himself as Max and had kidnapped her. From that point on, her life had basically lost control.

And control was the one thing Liz Parker could not live without.

It was the one thing she and Max had always had the most in common, that need for control.

It had been lost almost a year ago - for good.

Liz was dragged from her thoughts by a familiar voice calling from the kitchen. "Lizzie! Where are you???" She smiled despite herself, stepped out of the washroom and suddenly Maria was on her. "You're back! Finally! How come you didn't call me? I have so much to tell you!!!"

Liz covered her best friend's mouth with her hand, raising her eyebrows and falling back immediately into her "sensible Liz" routine. "Maria...calm down or I'll be on the next plane back to London." Maria blinked above Liz's hand, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She finally nodded though when Liz raised her chin questioningly.

"Okay." Liz dropped her hand and grinned. "I missed you so much!" She hugged her friend. When she pulled back, there were tears on Maria's cheeks. "What's wrong?" She demanded, concerned immediately.

"Oh Liz! I'm just so glad that you're back...Nothing has been the same since you've been gone!" Maria hugged Liz again.

"Hey little ladies, can't a guy get a little service around here?" Alex Whitman poked his head through the swinging door leading to the dining room, a grin splitting his face. Liz tried to disentangle herself from Maria, but found that her best friend was refusing to let go. "Hey Alex." She finally said wryly, smiling at her other best friend over Maria's shoulder.

"Hey yourself stranger! It's so great that you're back!"

Liz wondered. It suddenly felt like she had never left, that she had not just spent the last seven months of her life away from Roswell, New Mexico, trying to regain what little control she still had over her life.

Walking away from Max Evans seven months ago had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life. Coming back to Roswell now seemed like it was going to possibly be worse...

Liz's dad suddenly appeared in the service window, a perplexed look on his face. "You girls were planning to work today, were you not?" Jeff Parker asked. "'Cause it's getting really busy out here and I have some guests I need to take care of."

Liz sighed. "Yeah sure dad! We're coming." She took a deep breath and made her way into the dining room, Alex and Maria close on her heels, both talking a mile a minute.

"So, anyway Liz, there are like 37 million things I have to tell you. First, and by far the most important, Pam Troy actually got a nose job...Can you, like, believe that? And she goes around trying to pretend she didn't..."

"The band is doing great, we actually have a gig for next weekend..." Liz made her way behind the counter, listening to her friends with half an ear, just happy to be in their company, when she suddenly came to a dead halt.

Sitting on the counter, right in front of the cherry soda machine, was a bottle of tabasco sauce.

Liz blinked. She turned to look at Maria and Alex. They had both stopped talking abruptly, having noticed Liz's face and were now both staring at the tabasco bottle as well.

"Well, so much for trying to avoid the topic." Alex finally said, a sad look suddenly on his face.

Liz felt like her whole body was suddenly burning up..."Max..."

She turned to look at her friends. "How are they...I mean, how is he?" Liz felt herself strangling as she tried to make her voice work.

Maria and Alex exchanged glances. "Well..." Maria began, clearly uncertain what to say... Liz knew it was bad if Maria was at a loss for words...she knew what it meant...

"Tess?" She felt her knees about to give out under her. No matter that she had prepared herself for this a thousand times while away, telling herself over and over again, that he was not HERS, that he was Tess', the thought of it still made her want to scream, weep, and throw up all at the same time.

"OhmyGod, NO!" Maria rushed forward, clearly no longer having trouble speaking. "Max is so NOT with Tess..." She rolled her eyes. "Not that she isn't still trying though."

Liz felt as though a breath of fresh air was suddenly blowing through the Crashdown. She clutched at the counter, helping herself around it, sat herself on a stool..."He's not with Tess?" Alex was staring at her worriedly while Maria continued.

"God no!" Maria shuddered. "And Michael is so NOT with Isabel..." She snorted suddenly, "Not that Michael's with anybody these days..."

"Or Izzy..."Alex murmured. Liz watched him rub his forehead, as though he suddenly had a splitting headache. She suddenly needed to understand, needed to know exactly what had been going on in Roswell while she had been gone.

While she had been running away from Max Evans.

Liz felt her stomach clench. She just knew that this was not going to be good. "What's wrong?" She asked, hardly believing that calm-sounding question had come from her mouth. She was screaming on the inside.

Maria bit her lip. "I almost don't know where to start Lizzie...everything is so different..." Liz just stared at her. Maria continued. "Okay! Just let me get it organized..." She began to mutter to herself.

As Liz waited impatiently, she noticed her dad seated at one of the booths, a cup of coffee clutched in his hands. He was not alone.

She blinked in surprise when she saw Max's dad on the other side of the booth. As she watched, the Crashdown door opened and Sheriff Valenti and Mr. Whitman entered, both making their way to the booth to join the other two men.

"What's going on over there Alex?" She asked. Alex was eyeing Maria incredulously as she continued to talk to herself. He turned to look in the direction Liz was pointing.

"What's my dad doing here?" He wondered aloud. He and Liz exchanged confused looks.

They both snapped their heads back around when Maria suddenly began to talk.

"'kay I'm gonna start with Max," Liz pursed her lips, feeling a sudden urge to grab her best friend by the shoulders and shake it out of her...Maria blanched a little at the look on Liz's face. "Okay! I'm sorry! Maybe you should tell this Alex!" Alex rolled his eyes. "Anyway, after you left.... which by the way I still haven't technically forgiven you for..." She made one of her annoyed Maria gestures. "I mean really Liz! Alex and I come over here and your mom tells us that you've up and gone to London...like one day later...What was up with that? You didn't even say good-bye! You didn't even write...You didn't even come back for school..."

Liz grimaced. "I know....I really am sorry you guys...I promise I'll tell you everything...but, please...."she pleaded. "Tell me!"

"Just let me calm down a bit," Maria took a sniff of cedar oil and plunked herself down on a stool. "Anyway, Alex and I were here when Max came looking for you..." Her blue eyes were distant, as though she was picturing the moment. "He was totally distraught - I mean, I've seen him upset, like when Nasedo kidnapped you, but this was like total craziness..."

"Liz, he wasn't himself...He just kept going on and on about how he hated being who he was - that none of it was worth it if it meant that he couldn't be with you....That he wasn't going to lead anyone if he couldn't be with you..." Alex inserted. Maria glared at him. He put up his hands in surrender. "Sorry! Sorry!" He shut up and sat down.

"Your dad told him that you were gone..." Maria's eyes filled with tears. "His face Liz..."

Liz felt her heart in her throat. She was having trouble controlling her tears as well. "Oh God, Max..." Alex took her hand comfortingly.

"Don't feel guilty Liz..."Maria told her. "He seemed to understand...he wasn't mad at you, or even hurt....it was more like he just gave up..."

"I talked to Iz the next day," Alex continued. "We didn't break-up right away. She wanted nothing to do with Michael romantically..."he eyed Maria worriedly when she flinched. "She told me that Max was not himself...he was snapping at everyone and refused to come out of his room. When she tried to talk to him, he just stared at her....not blankly, but like he hated her...It was really scary...."

"Anyway, Michael had disappeared at this point. Isabel asked Maria and me to talk to Max to try and get him to see that we needed to find Michael..."

Maria sighed, "Max seemed to snap out of it a bit....we found Michael eventually. He was staying with River Dog on the Reservation, trying to learn how to control his powers...school had ended by this time...He told me that he was going to try and figure out if he could control them enough to be with me..." She paused, her voice cracking as she fought the impending tears. "Max decided that he was going to stay too, try and learn more about what he could do...he said that if he couldn't be with you, he would at least try and do what you wanted him to, which was try and be "the leader." Maria spat out the word, as though it was a curse. "Isabel wouldn't stay, she didn't want to leave her mom or Alex, but Tess did...Max let her, but he made it clear that they were not going to be together...he told all of us that he did not need to be "married" to be the leader...Tess stayed anyway..."

"So, the next time we saw the two guys, school had started and they were just...."Alex tried to think of the right word..."I don't know - weird...Isabel said that something happened to them on the Reservation, something that made Max refuse to have anything to do with anyone....except Michael. He seemed particularly pissed off at his parents..." Alex paused, "I mean his HUMAN parents...He like became the classic smart-ass teen-age son....Isabel said it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen...it looked like Max, but it wasn't him...she just knew it somehow...We almost thought it was Nasedo again, except Tess managed to get ahold of him at the Special Unit and he was still there...Even Tess is a little scared of Max now...she is still trying to get him to be with her...she can't get off her stupid destiny kick...." Alex snorted, "Anyway, Max doesn't even know she's alive..."

"Michael was just Michael, but like ten times MORE Michael," Maria continued. "He told me that it was no use - his powers were just too much...he loved me but he couldn't be with me...." She flushed guiltily. "So I decided to get back at him...I started dating Neil Freedman...I totally flaunted it in his face...he was still working here then...."

Alex shook his head. "He totally lost it...he quit the Crashdown, stopped going to school...he and Max just holed themselves up in Michael's apartment..."

"Then Max started skipping school..." Liz's mouth fell open.

"What?"

"Yeah, he's never there anymore...and...Liz, this is the worst part..." Maria stood up and put her arm around Liz's shoulders. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"

Liz nodded mutely, automatically. She felt like ice....she felt so much guilt, it practically strangled her...

"Liz, he's dating Pam Troy..." Liz felt her eyes roll back in her head...Alex grabbed her, forcing her to sit down.

Suddenly Mr. Parker was there, pressing a wet napkin to Liz's forehead. "Honey! Are you okay?"

The Sheriff, Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman were all standing there too, varying expressions of concern on their faces. Liz pulled away from her father.

"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine dad...." She picked up a glass, asked Maria to fill it with water, and quickly gulped down the contents. "I think it's the climate - I'm not used to it anymore," she improvised quickly.

"Honey, it's January." Mr. Parker replied, confused.

"Yeah, but it's so rainy in London, not dry like here..." Liz pulled herself together.

"What are you doing here dad?" Alex asked suddenly, apparently trying to change the subject so the dad spotlight would leave Liz.

Mr. Whitman blinked behind his thick glasses. "Oh, Jim, Jeff, Phillip and I were planning for the Father's Camp-out in Fraser Woods."

"WHAT???" Alex, Maria and Liz all yelled together, then looked around sheepishly.

Mr. Parker eyed them. "You guys do want to go don't you? We had such a great time last year...Jim suggested that we all go again this year and set up our camps together...We thought you'd want to go, you know be with your friends..." He trailed off uncertainly. The three teens were just staring at him incredulously.

Sheriff Valenti was putting on his hat. He dropped a dollar bill on the counter. "Kyle and I go every year...He's really looking forward to catching up with you Miss Parker." He said to Liz. "Roswell missed you while you were gone." The expression on his face spoke volumes...the Sheriff knew what was going on - he always had.... he grinned sympathetically. "Thanks for the coffee Jeff. I'll see you all at the bus tomorrow evening."

"Mr. Evans, Max is coming?" Maria asked bluntly, then blushed. Mr. Evans sighed.

"Well, he didn't exactly say he would, but I didn't give him much choice." Liz felt sad when she saw the pained expression on Max's dad's face. "He agreed when Michael said he'd come. Izzy is looking forward to it." Alex snickered at that statement. Mr. Evans stared at him momentarily, confused, then continued, "And Tess has agreed to join us too."

"I'm surprised they are allowed to come to a school function, since they're never at school." Alex muttered under his breath, so that only Liz heard him.

"And, of course, Maria you're invited to tent with Lizzie and I." Mr. Parker grinned at her. Maria smiled back weakly, clearly not happy about it, but not wanting to hurt Liz's dad's feelings.

Liz felt weak with frustration. How could their dads all be so oblivious?

The dads left the teens then, as Jeff Parker walked Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman to the door.

"Oh, this is just great!" Maria fumed. "Forty-eight hours of Michael Guerin in the bloody boonies..." Alex looked hopeful...

"Maybe Izzy and I can do some stargazing again..." Maria elbowed him...

"Climb yourself out of the alien abyss buddy...You know you and Isabel decided that it was just too complicated...you can't do that to yourself OR her...it was hard enough a couple of months ago..."

Liz just shook her head, still trying to take in all that she had heard in the last half an hour.

"Maria, please tell me you were kidding about Pam Troy..."She said suddenly.

"I wish I was Liz..." Maria wrinkled her nose. "I told you - Max is not YOUR Max anymore. He is totally different..."

While the thought of Max and Pam Troy made Liz physically ill, strangely it also had a galvanizing effect on Liz. It was the one thing that told her that Max could still be reached...

For, suddenly, with utter clarity, Liz knew what was wrong with Max Evans...

He was punishing her...

Dating Pam Troy was the ultimate sign of it...he had deliberately decided to date the one person that he must know would drive Liz literally insane...While Max being with Tess, would have hurt Liz, she would have accepted it, because SHE was the one who had encouraged him to do it, who had told him he had to...

Pam Troy was his way of getting back at her... He could not be more obvious if he tried...

Liz was quickly losing her sadness and guilt...she was beginning to get angry...and determined....

"Mr. Perfect, Mr. Dreamy Max Evans is no more..." Maria was saying sadly, clearly on a roll..."He's been replaced by Mr. Meanie, Mr. I hate the world, particularly anyone who ever loved me Max Evans..."

While she had decided that she was going to find out what the heck Max thought he was doing, that did not mean that her heart was not still in her throat at the thought of actually seeing him....

The last time she had seen him had been at the pod chamber. The pleading way he had begged her to stay, the way he had looked like a lost little boy when he had told her that she meant everything to him...it had taken all her strength to walk away from him...she had barely managed to control her tears, but seeing Max on the verge of weeping himself had almost been her undoing...

Max had always been the strong one...first loving her for so long, so silently, so completely, so sure that she was never going to notice him, yet remaining so faithful...

Then he had taken the step back, not because he had wanted to, but because he feared for her...She had not believed him when he had told her that he was scared of the way he felt about her...It had been an excuse, his way of protecting her...

And finally she had convinced him that he couldn't control everything, all the time...that he couldn't stop her from loving him just because he was afraid she would be hurt...

But he had been right all along - she HAD been hurt...but not by him...

She had done it to herself...she had not been brave enough to stand by him when he had wanted to make it work despite all they had heard from his real mother...

Maria had told her the night she had returned from the desert that SHE had been brave, selfless, that Max would thank her someday, that if it was meant to be they would find their way back to each other...

But, as always, Liz had been afraid. She had run away...

Her parents had not known what to do with her when she had come home...she had been gone for over twenty-four hours - again. Her mom had ranted about the influence THAT boy was having on her, that she was too young, that she and Max had to start behaving more responsibly...

Liz had just sat on the couch, in a daze, not really listening to a word of her mother's tirade...all she kept thinking was, "How can I live without ever touching him again?" How could she live never again feeling that connection that she knew she would never, ever, in a million years feel with anyone else? She hadn't even commented when her mom told her that they were sending her to stay with her aunt in England for the summer...that if she still felt the same way about Max when she came back, well then they would consider letting her see him again...

See him again... as if she would ever stop seeing him...she didn't need to be in his company to see him, to KNOW him...she had seen into his soul - more than once in fact...

She had always been rational, in control...she had never believed that every person had a "soulmate," that one person that completed them...she had believed that people could be happy with any number of people as long as they had things in common...

But when Max Evans had touched her for the first time - he had done a lot more than just healing a physical wound...he had healed her soul - had opened her heart to the fact that there WERE people in the world meant for each other...As she had told him a thousand times, he had brought her to life...

She had continued to run away... when the summer had ended, she had stayed in London, had enrolled in a semester-long exchange program...Her mother had been ecstatic when Liz had told her her plans on the phone...

"I told you Liz. There is such a big world out there... What you and Max had was special, but you're both only teenagers... it would never have worked in the long run..."

Liz had not responded. Her dad had not been as easy to fool though.

"Are you sure Lizzie?" He had asked in his quiet, concerned way.

"Yeah dad." He didn't believe her, but he let it go. Mr. Parker had always been more sensitive to what was really going on with his daughter...their relationship had improved again after the last camping trip, when he had finally figured out that although his daughter was growing up, she would always be his little girl... he had gotten to know Max and had always been more reasonable about the way Liz felt about him then Nancy had... In fact, he liked Max a lot - liked the way he made Liz glow...

When the semester had ended, Liz had returned to Roswell. She had not felt any more capable of facing Max - but it had been time...

But now...now that she had heard that Max had apparently lost his mind, that Maria and Alex and even Isabel had had to deal with it all on their own...well, she was angry.

Liz had realized for the first time that it wasn't all just about she and Max.

Yes, what they had was special, but what she shared with the five others in their small group was special too...

She had let them down for the last time. She was going to get the real Max back, help Maria figure out what was going on with Michael, and help poor Alex and Izzy, who had basically been caught in the middle of the whole mess, find their way back to each other.

Liz had decided not to go back to school that day. She would start on Monday. So the first time she would see everyone else would be at the bus that night. She knew that it was not going to be fun, but she was determined. They had a whole weekend to work everything out...

They had all been close once - brought together by circumstance, had fought to stay close...but they had all given up...

It was going to end this weekend... on the same camping trip that had begun the string of events that had brought them to this point.

As Liz threw clothes into her duffel bag, she thought back to that last Father's Camping trip. She had paid Maria to accompany her, Alex had hauled his father along because he knew Isabel was going to be there, Max and Izzy had gone because of the sighting - the sighting that had turned out to be Nasedo's first signal to them...that had led them all to that pod chamber several months later, when all their hopes and dreams for themselves had been shattered...

Liz and Max had still technically been on the outs during that trip, but it had also been the first time Liz had really admitted to herself that she was not going to give up on Max Evans... the way he had looked at her when he had had to leave her and Maria to face those dogs had told her that he had felt the same way...

She wondered briefly what Max was going to say to her when she saw him later today...she had absolutely no idea... she just could not picture him being rude or mean, but from the way Maria and Alex talked, it might happen... it was not a pleasant thought...

An even more unpleasant thought was that he might ignore her altogether...she could not remember a time that she had been in Max's presence that he hadn't looked at her in some way, totally aware that she was in the same room. It had seemed that he had been totally incapable of ignoring her. The looks had sometimes been longing or sad, but always loving. They had often been teasing or lustful in happier times... the ones she liked the best though were the ones that told her that nothing that ever happened was going to change the way he felt about her...

Liz felt a lump rising in her throat. She stared at a photo of Max that still sat on her bedside table. Maria had snapped it for a photography project she had done the previous school year.

It was totally candid. He was seated on a bench in the quad, munching on a bag of Doritos, a bottle of tobasco at his elbow. He had a book open in front of him and he was avidly reading...

Liz even remembered the book...It was "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr, one of her favorites. She had given it to him for his birthday. He had quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly when he had opened it. "The Alienist?" he had asked wryly. "Is this about what I think it is?" Liz had grinned and replied, "Not alien silly, alienist...it's the old-fashioned word for psychiatrist..." Max had grinned teasingly.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Liz had rolled her eyes. Just as she knew would be the case, he had been unable to put it down after he started it. When he had finally finished, it was a long, dense book, she had asked him what he thought of it. He had looked at her seriously for a moment and then replied,

"That Sarah character reminded me of you." It had been the nicest thing he had ever said to her. Sarah was totally logical and Liz had identified very strongly with her. That Max saw it to, that he understood why she found the book so fascinating... it had moved her...

Just as everything about Max had always moved her. She was going to get the REAL Max back, the sensitive Max who almost cared too much about others, whose selflessness sometimes bordered on SELFISHNESS, so determined was he to protect the people he loved...

"Tradition?" She inquired teasingly. Maria rolled her eyes.

"If you must know, they really annoy Michael...thought I might as well have some fun if I have to be in his presence." Mr. Parker eyed her in the rear-view mirror.

"How is Michael anyway? Haven't seen much of him around the restaurant lately."

"Dad!" Liz exclaimed. It astounded her on occasion how totally clueless their parents were. It was perfectly obvious that Maria and Michael were not exactly on the best of terms - of course, they had not exactly been on the best of terms even when they HAD been dating...

"What?" Mr. Parker asked.

Liz sighed. "Never mind. Just please don't like ask Michael a ton of annoying questions when you see him..."

Mr. Parker looked hurt. "Okay honey." He said quietly.

Liz sighed again. * Oh, great. Now I've hurt his feelings.* The stress of anticipating her first glimpse of Max was beginning to take its toll on her.

They pulled into the school's parking lot. Maria had her face plastered against the window, scanning the crowd. "There's Alex. Looks like he and Mr. Whitman actually brought a tent this year."

Liz followed Maria's gaze. Actually, it looked as though Mr. Whitman had brought the entire stock of Mountain Equipment Co-op. Alex was standing in the middle of a pile of camping articles, looking mildly bemused. His dad was showing him how to light the Coleman camp light in his hand.

The girls and Mr. Parker joined them. Alex addressed them in relief. "Thank God you girls are here. My dad has gone all Mr. Bush-man on me." Mr. Whitman looked up, blinked and said.

"Hey Jeff. Girls."

Alex, Liz and Maria left the two dads talking and went to stand near the bus, conferring quietly. "Any sign of the Czechs yet?" Liz asked nervously.

"Nope." Alex responded. "Isabel called me this afternoon." He looked suddenly happier. Liz and Maria exchanged looks.

"Alex, how many times do I have to tell you..." Maria began. Alex scowled, cutting her off.

"I know, I know. Just drop it okay...she just wanted to let me know that Max and Michael were officially coming. She said that Max actually seemed semi-excited about it..."

Liz felt her mood lighten. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.

"What about Tess?" Maria asked. Alex grimaced slightly, glancing at Liz.

"Unfortunately she's coming too. And there's even worse news. Max invited Pam and her father to come as well." Liz felt momentarily ill, but then shrugged.

"Well, it's to be expected. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy."

The three friends froze when they suddenly recognized the Evans' car pulling into the parking lot. They were all distracted though when Kyle Valenti suddenly appeared from the other side of the bus. He had a fishing rod in his hand.

"Hey Liz!" He came forward, a happy expression on his face. "It's great to see you! My dad told me you were coming." Liz smiled at him, surprised that she was genuinely happy to see him. She hadn't actually laid eyes on Kyle since the day he was shot and Max had healed him.

"Hi Kyle." She walked forward, hugging him. As she tried to pull back, she realized that his fishing rod had become entangled in her hair. Kyle tugged on it, but it only became more caught. She felt herself giggling, realized that she was quickly losing it - she NEVER giggled. Kyle still had his arms around her as he attempted to unhook her hair.

Of course, at that exact moment, Max Evans walked right past them.

Liz felt her heart stop. She was surprised to see that he looked exactly the same. With all the talk about how different he was, she had expected him to somehow LOOK different...

But no, he looked great. His dark hair still curled adorably at the back of his neck, he was still attractively muscular and walked with that shy, don't notice me gait that had always made Liz's breath quicken. He was wearing khakis and a dark sweater, and was swinging a back-pack up over his shoulder as he walked.

Her heart was racing, her skin tingling...Max! Max....oh, my love....

And right beside him was Pam Troy. Liz blanched.

Max didn't notice she and Kyle right away, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She tried desperately to untangle her hair, but every move she made just made it worse. Maria had sized up the situation quickly and was slapping Kyle's hands, trying to get them off Liz.

"Ow!" Kyle exclaimed, staring at Maria, annoyed. "What the hell Deluca?" Liz sighed. So much for escaping Max's notice.

He stopped abruptly and stared at her. His dark eyes were bright for one, heart-pounding moment, and then they narrowed.

It was only then that Liz noticed that Isabel, Michael and Tess were there too. Her entire being had been focused on Max - and Pam.

Isabel was biting her bottom lip, looking upset, but hopeful. She kept glancing between Liz and Max. Tess was watching Liz with interest, not maliciously, but not kindly either. Liz felt briefly like some peculiar lab specimen that Tess was about to do an experiment on.

Michael just looked weird. He stared right through all of them, seemingly oblivious to anything going on around him. Liz glanced briefly at Maria, who had retreated behind Alex and was trying to appear like she was fixing the strap on his backpack.

"Hey guys!" Alex said, much too cheerfully. It was clear that he was trying to break the akward silence. Isabel smiled weakly at him, Kyle stared and Liz felt like she was going to faint.

She grabbed the fish hook in her hair and gave a quick yank. It broke free, taking what felt like half her scalp with it...She looked back at Max. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes...

They were scalding.

Pam Troy looked a little different. She wore her hair a little longer, but her attire, as usual, was entirely inappropriate for her surroundings. She was wearing a very low-cut blouse, tight jeans and so much make-up, Liz briefly wondered if she was auditioning to be Tammy Faye Baker in her next life...

"Well, if it isn't Liz Parker." Pam said, in her false sweet voice. It had nastiness barely veiled under the surface though. It grated on Liz's nerves as much now as it had during her sophomore year. "Back from her little European jaunt. Funny, didn't really notice she wasn't around..." She said this to Max, who was still staring at Liz, unmoving. He glanced briefly at Kyle's hand on her arm, then back at her face

"Liz!" Isabel stepped forward and started chattering in an entirely un-Isabel-like manner, giving Pam a dirty look. Pam wilted a little under Isabel's icy stare. Even Tess was sneering at her. "It's so great to see you! How was England? Did you see any shows, do any shopping?"

Liz couldn't answer. She was still staring at Max, waiting for some sign from him...

There was no sign...he just looked at her like she was a total stranger - no, actually he looked at her like she was the same lab experiment Tess was involved in...

The eyes she had gazed into so many times were cold and hard. He was staring at her with a look of distaste on his face.

And then he did something that was deliberate and so cruel, Liz felt her heart shatter. He picked up Pam's hand and pulled her away. About ten feet away he stopped abruptly, dropped his backpack and started kissing her.

Maria gasped. "Let's get out of here." She put her arm around Liz's shoulders and started to lead Liz away. Isabel stared at her brother and his girlfriend, a disgusted look on her face. Michael was eyeing Liz with interest, not unkindly, just in a way that was totally unlike Michael. She again felt like she was under a microscope in some horrible lab experiment gone awry.

"God, Liz, I'm so sorry." Isabel said. Liz smiled weakly at Max's sister. It was becoming more obvious by the second that Isabel was not the same person she had been the last time Liz had seen her. She was quieter and sadder, but somehow kinder too. "It's not just you." Izzy continued, obviously trying to make her feel better. "Everything he does is like that - totally calculated to make whoever it's directed at feel like the lowest being on earth."

Liz straightened her back. "Well, if that's the worst Max Evans can dish out, this is going to be a piece of cake," she replied, trying to use a cheerful tone. The others all stared at her.

"What the hell are you talking about Liz?" Kyle asked. "That was the most brutal thing I have ever seen."

"Thank you Kyle," Alex inserted, "I think we are all aware of how brutal it was..."

Isabel was gazing at Liz, her eyes questioning. Liz addressed her. "Iz, can we sit together on the bus?" She saw Maria scowl out of the corner of her eye. "Please Maria - Alex needs a seat-mate too. I need to talk to Isabel about Max." She turned to include the whole group, even Tess, who had yet to speak. "That was NOT Max guys. I don't know what's wrong with him, but we are going to snap him out of it. I refuse to just ignore it," she held up her hands, when Tess seemed about to protest. "I know you guys have tried, but I'm the one who caused this...I'm going to need your help to fix it, but in the end, it has to be me." She glanced around the group quickly. "We have no secrets anymore you guys. Max is keeping something from us, I don't know how I know...but I just feel it."

Isabel had brightened considerably. "God, Liz, I know I've been a jerk you in the past, but this has been so hard...I'm so glad you're back. The way Max felt about you... I mean, I think maybe you can reach him..." Tears welled up in her eyes. Maria frowned at Alex when he looked like he wanted to go put his arm around her. Alex scowled and looked away.

Tess snorted. "I don't know if anyone can reach him anymore." She inserted. "As Michael would say, all he seems to do is think with his energy source, Pam Troy being People's Exhibit A." Kyle snickered at that. Tess looked at him, smirked as well.

Isabel blinked. "That is definitely the first thing we need to take care of. It is like the most repulsive thing I have ever seen." She looked at Liz. "I mean you guys used to gross me out, but at least I knew you loved each other. I KNOW Pam is only going out with Max to piss me off - not to mention you."

"She's like the black widow spider." Alex supplied. "She mates and kills." They all laughed despite themselves.

Liz could hear Coach Clay calling out their last names, trying to get everyone loaded on the bus. She saw her dad chatting with Sheriff Valenti. The Sheriff wasn't really paying attention though. He was watching Max make-out with Pam right under Mr. Evans' eyes, his eyes narrowed, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Liz felt momentarily ill again. Just don't think about it, she ordered herself. You know that is not YOUR Max...the real Max is still in there somewhere and you're going to find him...

"Evans!" Coach Clay yelled. Isabel jumped, saw her dad looking around for her.

"That's me. I'll save you a seat Liz. C'mon Tess." With that, Izzy hurried away, taking a wide circle around Max, who was looking back in their direction, his expression unreadable. Pam was nibbling on his ear, but he was currently ignoring her - Liz felt his gaze come to rest on her, then quickly move away.

Liz's gaze rested momentarily on Michael, who was standing just to the left of Max and Pam. He was staring off into space, no expression on his face. Liz shivered. It was freaky... and very unlike Michael. The old Michael would have been scowling at everyone, trying to piss someone off - likely either Max or Maria. But no, he just stood there, occasionally tilting his head and examining Max with interest, but usually just looking like the stereotypical pod person.

Liz giggled to herself, feeling a little hysterical. Of course, technically, he IS a pod person... She saw Kyle and Alex give her weird looks, clamped her lips shut.

"Parker!"

"C'mon girls!" Mr. Parker called. Liz turned back to Alex and Kyle.

"See you guys on the bus." She grabbed Maria' s hand, pulled her towards the bus.

As they climbed aboard, she saw Max sitting by himself near the back of the bus. He was staring out the window and for a moment, Liz saw HER Max.

He looked sad - and lonely. Liz's heart sped up. * Max...*

"Hey Liz! Back here!" Isabel was standing in her seat, a few in front of Max. Tess and Michael were sitting together directly in front of Max. Michael was staring straight ahead, he expression blank. Tess was turned around in her seat, lecturing Max, who was ignoring her completely.

"If you make out with that trollop the entire way to the campsite, I will personally murder her...do you hear me Max? I mean, you're like making everyone ill. Everyone knows you're supposed to be with me... even Liz. I don't know why you're fighting it...it's been six months for Pete's sake." Max turned to stare at her briefly. He glanced past her, directly at Liz. She shuddered when she saw his eyes darken, freeze over.

"Shut up Tess." He said clearly.

"I'm coming Max!" This came from Pam, who was behind Liz in the aisle. Maria, in front of Liz, moaned.

"Oh great...I can tell already this is going to be a really long bus-ride. Alex is going to moan about Queen Amidala the whole way, I just know it, and just my luck, the only seat left is right behind where the Widow is going to be with Mr. Meanie. Could my life get any worse?"

Liz patted her friend's back reassuringly. "It'll be okay Maria. Just sniff your cedar oil. At least Michael seems to be behaving himself." She continued quietly.

Maria sighed. "Yeah...he didn't even comment on my boots..." she said sadly. Liz's heart went out to her best friend. While she had never understood why Michael and Maria had liked to bicker so much, it had been an integral part of their relationship.

Sort of like me and Max with those staring contests....

Liz felt tears welling up in her eyes as she joined Isabel. Be strong Liz, she ordered herself.

"Are you okay Liz?" Isabel asked, concerned.

"Yeah, thanks. It's just hard to see him like this... I knew he'd be upset, but I never imagined he would go crazy." Liz replied. "I can't even imagine what you've been going through these past months Izzy."

"It hasn't been that bad for me really. He mainly just ignores me." Isabel said. "It's the way he treats my mom and dad that's the worst... It's like he hates them or something. And they're just so hurt - they go from having the perfect son... to like Genghis Khan...Liz, he plays Metallica for God's sake."

Liz patted Isabel's shoulder. "I really am sorry Isabel." Isabel just sighed. Liz decided to change the subject for the moment.

"What happened with you and Alex? It is so obvious you guys are still crazy about each other." Isabel sighed again.

"It was just too much... I was so happy when I was with Alex, but I just couldn't do it to Max, you know? He was so miserable after you left Liz...more like you would have expected him to be...Not this..." She gestured to Max behind them, who had gone back to kissing Pam. "Seeing me with Alex, it just seemed to make him wilt. So we decided to cool things for a while." Isabel turned in her seat and smiled briefly in Alex's direction. He didn't notice as he and Maria were laughing as he made evil facial expressions in Max and Pam's direction. Kyle was across the aisle from them, sitting with his friend Paulie. He was grinning as well, but Liz noticed that he was watching Tess out of the corner of his eye. Interesting, thought Liz.

Tess was currently snapping her fingers in front of Michael's face, saying "Will you snap out of it Michael? Tell Max to stop it...you're the only one he listens to these days." Liz watched Max briefly. She shivered when she realized that his eyes were open and that he was staring at her, even though he was kissing Pam. Blech! Thought Liz. She looked away quickly.

"What is up with Michael?" Liz asked Isabel. "He is totally zoned out." Isabel eyed him momentarily.

"I'm not really sure. He came back from the reservation and he was just like that. It's actually kind of creepy. He watches all of us, all the time, like he's waiting for something. He and Max hole up in his apartment all the time... I have no idea what they talk about, but he's the only one Max will be even remotely civil to..."

"Well, what are we going to do about this?" Liz asked, feeling suddenly very close to Isabel. She had always wanted to bond with Max's sister, not just because she was his sister, but because she admired and liked her. Isabel had always been distant and disapproving in the past, making it virtually impossible. The only person she had ever opened up to, besides her brothers, had been Alex. It seemed that if one good thing was to come out of Max's crazy behavior, it would be that she and Isabel could finally, truly become friends.

"I think that we should arrange for you to be able to be alone with Max - you know, try and talk to him..." Isabel replied. "Are you okay with that?" She asked worriedly. "I know it will be hard...How are you anyway? Did going to London help at all?"

"England was really cool...I loved it, but it certainly didn't take my mind off Max if that's what you're wondering." She stared out the window, trying to explain to Isabel what the past few months had been like for her. "I felt so guilty. I was a coward Isabel... I didn't even call anyone to see if you guys were okay... I was just so freaked out by that whole destiny thing... the weeks before we heard that message from you mother...." She turned back to look Isabel in the eye. "I kept telling Max that we made our own destiny, that we got to choose who we wanted to be with...and then when it came down to the wire... when Max really HAD to make a choice... I ran away..." Tears filled her eyes again, but she wiped them away angrily. Isabel pulled a tissue out of her purse, handed it to Liz. "Thank you...anyway, I totally failed him... I was so scared that he wasn't going to choose me... when he told you guys that it was the four of you now, I just wanted to die... I had to leave..."

"I think what you did was really brave Liz..." Isabel told her. Liz could see that she really meant it. "I couldn't leave Alex...not until there was absolutely no choice...I think you knew that Max WOULD choose you... you didn't want him to have to make that choice... That's real courage in my books." Liz snorted briefly.

"Well, it obviously was all for nothing anyway. I don't understand what's happened to him... I didn't even think that Max was capable of being the person I've seen him be today..." She giggled despite herself. "I mean, Pam Troy...what the heck is up with that?'

Isabel laughed too... "It's like we've entered the Twilight Zone...I'm expecting that guy to do his voice-over any minute...Welcome to Roswell, where nothing is ever easy and where people go bonkers at the drop of a hat..." she intoned. Liz laughed again, the first genuine laugh she had had in a long time.

"What's so funny girls?" This came from Mr. Evans who was seated across the aisle from them with Liz's dad. Liz rolled her eyes at Isabel.

"Dads are so oblivious." She murmured under her breath. Isabel giggled again.

"Nothing daddy... we're just really looking forward to the marshmallows tonight...Liz was just telling me about the time she ate 25 in one sitting..." Mr. Parker grinned beside Isabel's dad,

"I remember that," He added. "We had one very sick little girl on our hands...but I think Maria was worse...didn't she have about 30 Lizzie?" Liz nodded, laughed again.

"Yeah but she was fine...that was when Mrs. Deluca was going through her weird sugar diet phase. All Maria ate then was sugar anyway..."

"Well, that can't possibly be any weirder than when Izzy and Max used to put tabasco sause on THEIR marshmallows," Mr. Evans argued. "Max did it first, if I recall correctly...he was about eight...he wanted Diane and I to try it too...Di did...I'll never forget the expression on her face..." He laughed affectionately, but then stopped abruptly, turned in his seat to stare at his son sadly, who happened to be looking in their direction, clearly curious about what they were talking about...Liz watched as Mr. Evans met Max's eyes...She couldn't believe it when Max glared at his father, deliberately took Pam's chin in his hand and started kissing her again.

Joe Cocker

***********************************************************************

The group had set up their camp in the exact same spot as the previous year. It had all been accomplished very quickly because the stars had just started to emerge when they settled down by the far for an evening of what the dads thought would be bonding - and the kids KNEW would be torture.

Liz sat on a log near the fire, listening to Kyle tell the same stupid story about cows and holes in heads that he had told last year. Instead of being annoyed, as she expected, she found herself liking it...it reminded her of the previous year - how, although none of them had been on the best of terms, at least they KNEW and trusted each other.

It was so different from what was going on at the moment, she felt like crying...

Isabel sat on her right, roasting a marshmallow. Liz was still amazed at how she managed to look like a goddess even in the middle of the bush...She had her blonde hair in a french braid and she was wearing the most beautiful jacket Liz had ever seen. She looked sporty but glamourous at the same time. Liz could see Alex sneaking glances at her from his place beside Kyle. It's ridiculous that those two aren't together, Liz reflected. They so blatantly want to be...I have to get through to Max for at least that reason...fine if he doesn't want to be with me, but Alex and Izzy deserve to be happy if they can be...

Liz's gaze strayed to Maria and Tess, who were playing a rowdy game of Hearts with Mr. Evans and Sheriff Valenti. They both looked amused by Maria's constant chatter and even Tess seemed to be enjoying herself. As Liz watched she trumped the Queen of Spades on poor Mr. Evans, crowing with triumph.

Liz noticed that Michael was watching them blankly, seated near Mr. Evans. It's like there's nothing going on up there, she reflected, as she analyzed Michael's empty eyes. The old Michael's eyes had been alive at all times, snapping with annoyance or sarcasm or, when he thought no one was looking, lonliness. And only sometimes, and only when he had been with Maria, Liz used to see happiness in Michael Guerin's eyes...but now - there was just nothing...

She gazed across the fire at Max, who was sitting under a tree, Pam at his side. He was ignoring Pam at the moment, his head thrown back gazing at the stars, but Liz knew that wouldn't last long. She hadn't though that Max Evans was capable of such public displays of affection...

Well, that's not true, she amended ruefully. He certainly had no qualms about kissing me in public. A slight smile touched her face. When Max used to kiss Liz, it had been like they were the only two in the world, no matter where they were. More often than not Max had been embarrassed when he had remembered where he was...it had been one of his most endearing qualities, the fact that he couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her, despite it being completely contrary to his personality.

But what was going on with Pam was totally different...it freaked Liz out the way he seemed to be so deliberate every time he touched her...it looked like he was trying to get a rise out of someone, whenever he did it. More than once she had seen him staring at her, Liz, when Pam was nibbling on his ear, or kissing his neck... it made her ill...

And, unfortunately, she couldn't make her eyes behave...they kept straying back to the couple across the way, although it felt like she was being stabbed in the heart everytime.

Remember Liz, she admonished, that is not YOUR Max...that is not the Max that made you see stars when his lips touched yours, that let you SEE him in a way that could never be replaced.

The thing that pissed Liz off the most about the whole thing was that she didn't know what she was going to do if the anti-Max was here for good...because the old Max had ruined her for anyone else. No one was ever going to compare to him... they just couldn't.

She had finally admitted to herself that running away had been pointless, because no matter where she ran he followed... he was a part of her... she would never feel about anyone else the way she felt about him... even if he was currently being a Grade - A jerk...

"So, Liz, have you figured out a way to get Max alone?" Isabel whispered suddenly.

"Well I had hoped that Pam would go with her dad when he went to the lake with my dad and Mr. Whitman, but I'm not really surprised she didn't..."Liz replied. "None of the other kids went and she can't seem to keep her hands off of Max so..." Isabel sighed.

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this..." She muttered.

Isabel jumped to her feet, a blatantly false smile on her face. "Hey Pam!" She chirped in a voice so unlike Isabel's Alex's head jerked up.

Pam's head snapped around. She blinked, surprised. Liz realized that this was probably the first time that Isabel Evans had ever addressed Pam in anything remotely resembling friendliness.

"Yeah, Isabel?" she asked, warily. Liz tried hard to hide her smile. Poor Pam, she thought, not really feeling bad at all. She has no idea what she's in for...

"Alex, Kyle, Tess, Maria and I were going to go do some stargazing." Isabel told her. "Do you want to come?"

Pam looked confused, glanced at Liz, who tried her best to look innocent. "I don't know..." she stammered. "Is Liz going?"

Liz noticed that Max was eyeing Isabel suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. "Nope!" Isabel replied. "Liz is on KP duty." Max's sister indicated the piles of dirty dishes sitting next to the fire. "Max is going to help her do them...Right Dad?" Isabel looked appealingly at her father.

Mr. Evans glanced up from his cards. He looked at his son, who was glaring at Isabel in annoyance. Liz could see that Max knew exactly what was going on and he was not pleased. "That would be nice of you Max." Mr. Evans looked so hopeful, Liz's heart went out to him. It appeared that any sign that the old Max might be around was like music to his father's ears.

Max rolled his eyes. "Fine." He muttered. Liz realized that it was actually the first time she had heard him speak since they had gotten off the bus.

"You're coming too Michael." This came from Maria, who had grabbed him by his collar and hauled him to his feet. Michael didn't say anything, just followed unprotestingly. Weird, thought Liz. Michael definitely has to be our next project.

Pam still looked unconvinced. "I don't know...maybe I should stay here..." She gave Liz a dirty look.

"No, no! I insist." Isabel exclaimed. She quickly grabbed Liz's hand, squeezed and then went and grabbed Pam by the arm, hauling her off into the woods. "We haven't really had a chance to get to know each other...I mean you ARE dating my brother after all..." Liz could hear Izzy saying as Kyle, Alex, Maria and Michael followed. Tess left as well, glanced back once uncertainly, but shrugged and continued on her way. Alex stopped at the edge of the forest, grinned at Liz, gave her the thumbs up sign behind Max's back...Liz felt hysterical laughter about to explode...

Sheriff Valenti suddenly spoke up. "Hey Phil, I think you and I should head down to the lake to see the other dads, give the kids a chance to hang out on their own..." Liz shot him a grateful look. He grinned at her. It's nice to know that you have a grown-up on your side, Liz reflected briefly.

She looked nervously at Max who was beginning to collect the dishes, dumping them into the bucket of water that had been heating up on the fire.

She swallowed, slowly went to join him.

"Do you want to wash or dry?" Max demanded suddenly. Liz nearly jumped out of her skin it was so unexpected.

"Ummm...I don't care. What would you rather do?" She asked quietly. Max turned to stare at her.

"I'd rather not be doing this at all as a matter of fact." He grabbed a towel, handed her the sponge. He raised an eyebrow her, motioned towards the pot of water..."Well?"

Liz flinched. His tone was so cold...she was finding it hard to believe that this was Max Evans talking to her. She quickly picked up a glass, scrubbed it, passed it to him to dry.

Okay Liz, get it together she told herself. Everyone is depending on you. This is MAX. You can talk to him.

"So, how is everything?" She asked, realized that it sounded stupid, shook her head in annoyance. Liz glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was scowling.

"Sorry Liz." He replied. "You don't have a right to know that anymore."

Liz blinked. "Oh...okay." She stopped talking, tried to collect her thoughts. Max was staring off into the woods, an unreadable expression on his face as he waited for the next dish. When he began to tap his foot impatiently, Liz snapped.

"Max!" He turned back to look at her, surprise evident on his face. She saw that she had broken through at least a tiny piece of the wall he had built around himself - okay, take advantage Liz, she told herself. "What is going on with you??? Everyone is so worried about you."

"Nothing's going on Liz...I'm getting on with my life. I'm sorry that you and the others don't like it, but, well, that's really your problem." He snapped. The icy stare was back.

"Of COURSE it's our problem Max - we all love you..." Max snorted.

"Funny way you had of showing you loved me Liz..." Liz felt the guilt come rushing back.

"Max, I know now that I was wrong to run away from you...I was a coward... I admit it. But please! Be mad at me if you need to, but why do you have to be so mean to everyone else?" Max just stared at her. "I don't understand why you're destroying everything in your life...I'm not worth it! Flunking out of school, hurting your parents and Izzy, dating PAM Troy for Pete's sake...don't even make me go into how she's using you...." Liz felt herself beginning to lose control. "Max everyone loves you so much...why are you hurting them like this? I've only been back for three days and already I can see how this is tearing everyone up..." She felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She looked at Max - was any of this getting through?

He was still glaring at her, clearly listening, but just as clearly thinking she was insane.

In fact, he sort of looked bored.

Liz felt her anger rising. "What the hell is the matter with you?" She demanded. "Have you gone crazy? What happened to the Max everyone loves? He was so kind and loving and sweet..." she trailed off when she realized that he was snickering.

"Jeez Liz - I'm not dead... I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be the guy you thought I was..."It was clear that he wasn't sorry at all, "But really, there's no need for the soap opera." He reached out and patted her on the shoulder. She flinched at the condescending action. "I'm doing just fine... I happen to like Pam...she's fun, not serious...there's not the constant boring dissection of every little thing with her..." He eyed her, amused.

Is there no way to break him down? Liz wondered. She could only think of one thing to say - one thing that might work. He was turning away, getting ready to throw the dish water into the bush..."But Max! I love you."

He froze. Liz could see it. His face was turned away from her, but he had heard her...

Max turned around, looked her right in the eye and said the words Liz had been sure she would never hear coming from his lips. "But Liz....I DON'T love you."

That's what I'm trying to do though, Isabel reflected. The longer we're gone, the more time Liz will have to try and get Max to open up.

"Oh don't be such a wuss Troy." This came from Kyle, who was helping Tess over a log. "Everyone knows the best stargazing is on the far side of the lake." Isabel shot him a grateful look. Who knew Kyle Valenti would turn out to be so helpful?

"I just don't understand why Max got stuck back there with that wench Liz..." Isabel halted abruptly, turned and stared at Pam. Was she that clueless? Everyone else was staring at Pam as well.

"Uh, newsflash Pam." Alex said evenly. "We're all Liz's friends." Pam snorted, tossed her head.

"Which makes you all as loserish as she is..." Maria stepped forward, a murderous expression on her face. Alex and Tess quickly grabbed her by the arms, Alex wrapping his arm around her waist and clamping a hand over her mouth.

Isabel shot Maria a warning look...they had to give Liz more time.

"Well, we can't all get along..."She said to Pam through gritted teeth. "Why don't we just drop the subject." Unfortunately it wasn't going to be as easy as that. Pam was evidently on a roll.

"Liz is just so pathetic. I mean, everyone knows that she ran off to England because she couldn't deal with the fact that Max dumped her. No one could believe he wanted to go out with that little nerd to begin with...He might have been quiet when they went out, but he was studly man. He could have had any girl in the school. Does Liz put out or something?" Pam asked with false concern. Maria's eyes were practically bugging out of her head above Alex's hand. Tess was eyeing Pam with annoyance.

"Do you even know Liz?" She demanded suddenly. Pam blinked.

"Huh?" Pam's mouth was twitching.

Tess continued. "You obviously don't know Liz Parker at all, do you?" Maria and Alex were both eyeing Tess with suspicion, wondering where she was going with this. "I don't know her very well either, but from what I've seen she's loyal and friendly and sweet..." Alex and Kyle exchanged glances of wonder.

"I really like Liz too." Isabel inserted, picking up from Tess. "I think she was the best thing that ever happened to my brother." Izzy suddenly realized that this was true...she had never seen Max as happy - as complete - as he had been when he was with Liz. The entire disaster that WAS Max had begun after Liz had walked away from him. Everything had gone wrong from that moment on...

Sort of how nothing is right when Alex and I aren't together. She glanced at her ex-boyfriend from under her lashes, wishing that she could be the one holding his hand right now, not Maria.

Thinking of Maria made Isabel think of Michael. "Hey!" She suddenly cut off Pam, who was muttering under her breath about them all being idiots. "Where's Michael?"

Maria's head snapped up and she wrenched Alex's hand away from her mouth. "He was here a minute ago." She began to twist around frantically. "Michael! Where are you?"

"Oh he wondered off into the bush a few minutes ago." Pam told them dismissively. "Who cares anyway? He's weird." Alex quickly grabbed Maria again before she could make a move. Maria was just ignoring Pam anyway.

"We have to find him! I don't think he even knows what he's doing half the time." She looked at Isabel pleadingly. "Izzy can you like find him somehow? That destiny crap has got to be good for something." Isabel looked sharply at Pam, stared back at Maria meaningfully. Pam knew nothing about their secret, unless Max HAD truly lost his mind. She had no intention of having her find out by accident.

Maria snapped her mouth shut, looked embarrassed.

Pam was glaring from one to the other annoyed. "You guys are so weird." She said snootily. " I can't even understand what you're talking about half the time. I am so glad Max has decided to ditch you all 'cause let me tell you, there is no way I'm hanging out with you freaks on a regular basis."

She turned suddenly to Kyle. "Even you Valenti - you're hanging out with losers all the time. Your position at school has been totally compromised. Dating Parker last year was bad enough, but this..." Pam pointed at Alex with disdain. "The geek of the junior class? And Miss Snotty Isabel Evans, not to mention that dingbat Maria, who's mom is the town tramp. And then there's little Tess Harding, who everyone KNOWS is a slut, I mean everyone heard the rumors from her old school when she moved here..."

Alex grinned at Pam, put a comforting arm around Tess. Tess looked at him in surprise, clearly not that upset about what Pam was saying since she KNEW that Pam had started all the rumors about her..."Ah Pam, you're a real laugh-riot, you know? Could you be any less original? EVERYONE knows I'm a geek. I mean, if you're going to hate us, at least let it be because WE loathe you..." The rest of the group had been staring at Pam, but all turned to stare at Alex instead. Kyle started to laugh.

"And know Pam," continued Maria, "We really, REALLY loathe you..." Isabel giggled. So much for trying to be friends with Pam she thought. Isabel found that she was not at all surprised that it was going to be impossible. I would have felt like I was betraying Liz anyway, she thought. She and my brother might have made me ill on occasion, but at least I like Liz. Tess is right. She is loyal and kind. Isabel realized that she trusted few people as she trusted Liz. She even trusted Liz to save her brother from himself, since Isabel had been so incapable of doing so.

"Enough of this tomfoolery." Said Alex. "We have to split up and find Michael." Isabel was glad that someone else was taking control. "Kyle can you take Izzy and Pam with you?" Kyle nodded. "I'll go with Maria and Tess." Isabel felt it like a stab to the heart that Alex didn't want to search with her. Oh focus Isabel, she reprimanded sharply. This is not the time.

"I'm not going anywhere," pouted Pam. She sat down on a log, crossed her arms and glared at them all. "I hope he drowns."

"Oh for crying out loud..." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Great...you can just stay here then...maybe the bears will eat you." Pam stood up immediately.

Isabel was ignoring the arguing going on around her. She was trying to connect with Michael.

Since the last year, she had become much more adept at entering other people's minds. She had been practicing and now she didn't need to have a picture anymore and could USUALLY penetrate others' thoughts when they were awake. The only people she had no success with were Max and Michael unfortunately. They seemed to know exactly what to do to block her access...

Of course, before they had never bothered to block her...they had trusted her completely. Now that Max was no longer MAX and Michael was always out of it, they had shut her out. And she had definitely tried to get to them...if even to get a little hint about what was going on in their stubborn heads since the whole destiny fiasco.

Isabel shuddered when she remembered the one time she had actually gotten anywhere with Max. He had been asleep, but he had known the instant she had entered his dream. It still hurt to reflect on how the dream Max had forcibly thrown her out...

Isabel opened her eyes. She could see that Maria was watching her hopefully. She just shook her head regretfully. Maria's eyes shadowed. Pam was still complaining.

"Why can't someone just take me back?" She whined. Alex was scrubbing his eyes in frustration.

"Oh, don't we wish we could...back to hell, where you belong..."he muttered.

"Someone's coming!" Maria said suddenly. They all stopped talking instantly, even Pam.

"What if it's a bear?" She whispered. Alex just rolled his eyes and Kyle snickered.

Michael appeared suddenly from behind a tree. They all just stared at him. They all stared more when they realized who was with him.

It was Max.

And he did not look happy.

Of course, when does he ever look happy? Isabel thought. She felt herself about to giggle hysterically.

"Did you finish the dishes?" She smiled inanely at her brother.

Max did not respond, he just shot her an annoyed look. "Are you guys done pumping Pam for information?" He demanded. Isabel flinched.

"Where's Liz?" This came from Maria, who was glaring at Max. If anyone hated Max now, it was Maria.

Max glanced at her and then away dismissively. "She's probably off somewhere bawling," he replied coldly. He turned to Pam. "Nice of you to try and get along with THEM for my sake, but it's not necessary. Let's just go." Pam stuck her nose in the air, went to stand beside him. She shot Maria a look as she passed her.

"Make sure to say hi to Liz when you go back to the campsite." She said. Then she reached up, grabbed Max's head and kissed him.

Isabel turned away. It was revolting. She hated her brother at that moment. Hated him for doing this to himself.

Max broke the kiss, took Pam's hand and led her off into the bush. Michael followed, still not having said a word.

Maria, Tess, Alex, Kyle and Izzy all stood there in silence.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." Kyle finally said. Maria snapped to attention.

"We have to get back to Lizzie..." She looked worried. "Even if Max was just being a jerk, which is more than likely, I'm betting their talk didn't go very well."

"That's an understatement." Alex muttered.

And when the tears you cried
are all you can believe
Give these loving arms a try,
And have a little faith in me...

Joe Cocker

Liz tossed and turned in her sleeping bag. Maria was curled up on one side of her in the tent, muttering in her sleep. Liz's dad was snoring softly on the other side.

She sighed, sat up, punched her pillow and flopped back down.

This is hopeless, she realized. Her mind was going a mile a minute, going over and over what she had said to Max, what HE had said to her...What could I have said that would have gotten through to him? She wondered for the thousandth time.

After Max had walked away from her, after their HIGHLY unsuccessful conversation, Liz had gone into her tent and had let the tears come. She had cried, feeling so sad and so guilty, she didn't know if she would be able to stop.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but suddenly Maria and Isabel - and even Tess - were there. Maria had pulled her head into her lap, stroking her head, had let her cry. When she had spoken, her tone had been so bitter it had snapped Liz out of her self-pity. "I promised myself that I would never let him make you cry like this again Lizzie."

Liz knew that Maria was thinking of the time Liz had seen him kissing Tess. She glanced at Tess, who suddenly looked uncomfortable. Liz could see that the other girl really wanted to help though. "It wasn't Max who did this Maria." Liz replied, sending Tess a reassuring smile. This was not time for pettiness. Liz knew that both she and Tess loved Max, which was what was important. "That is not Max." She continued.

Liz looked at Isabel. Max's sister had tears glistening in her beautiful dark eyes. "What are we going to do Liz?" She asked. "You were my last hope...I was so sure that he would listen to you...."Tess put a comforting arm around Isabel's shoulder. "He loved you so much."

"Don't worry Iz." Liz smiled at the blonde. "I haven't given up." She suddenly stood up, made her way to the tent door. "Now let's go show him that he didn't hurt me...he cannot know... it will only make things worse. He can't know that he still has that power over me..."

"Wait Liz!" Isabel crawled over to Liz, grabbed her hand, pulled her back down. Liz blinked as Isabel gently ran her hands across her face. "To wipe away the signs that you've been crying..." she explained. Liz smiled again.

"Thank you." Isabel shook her head ruefully.

"Unfortunately I've had a lot of practice doing that recently." Liz couldn't help herself. She started to laugh. Isabel stared at her for a moment, then laughed too. "This is just brutal isn't it?"

"It is the brutalist..."Liz agreed, "Even though I'm sure that's not a word." She and Isabel erupted into gales of laughter. Tess and Maria exchanged looks, turned back to look at them like they were crazy.

"I think they're hysterical..."Tess muttered under her breath to Maria. Maria just stared at them with wide eyes.

"We're not hysterical." Liz continued to laugh. "We're just laughing through the pain..." She was still giggling as she crawled out of the tent. She turned back, took all the other girls in with a glance. "Now we are going to have fun tonight despite Mr. Meanie..."Liz grinned at Maria as she used her best friend's new name for Max. "At least we have each other...I'll try again tomorrow when he's unprepared."

Isabel nodded. "I'm sure he thinks you'll give up now." Liz pressed her lips together in determination.

"I will never give up. He'll have to kill me if he wants me to give up."

They had left the tent.

The four of them, plus Alex and Kyle, played the roles of their lives that night...They had laughed, they had told stories, they had roasted marshmallows like their lives depended on it...Liz had even genuinely enjoyed herself at certain points, like when Alex had accidentally gotten marshmallow stuck in Isabel's hair. It had been fun to watch the two of them pretend to be just friends, but covertly try and touch each other when no one else was looking...at one point, Isabel had poked Alex in the side...he had swung around in surprise, getting the marshmallow he was roasting hopelessly caught in Isabel's blonde locks. The look of absolute horror on her face had been priceless...Maria and Liz had burst out laughing, Kyle had snorted and Tess had giggled...Alex had looked like he thought Isabel was going to murder him. And she had certainly looked like she was going to...until she started to laugh as well.

They had all laughed themselves silly, releasing all the pent-up misery and despair...but had all abruptly stopped when Max, seated near the Evans' tent with Pam and Michael had suddenly yelled, "Will you guys please shut the hell up?" Maria had hiccuped once, but after that, no one really felt like laughing anymore...they had all soon retired to bed...

Now as she lay awake at three in the morning, her resolve increased. Images of HER Max flowed through her mind, giving her strength:

Max gazing at her with love as she worked her shift at the Crashdown...

Max teasingly playing with her hair in biology...

Max staring at her with hot eyes on the night of the party at the soap factory - the night before they had shared their first kiss....

Max grabbing her, lifting her onto the table in the back room of the Crashdown, kissing her with abandon, like he couldn't stop, even if his life depended on it...

Max pleading with her to have faith in him - in them - after she had seen him kiss Tess...

Max staring at her through the glass in the House of Mirrors before he had been taken by the Special Unit, his only concern for her, his only wish to get to her...

Max telling her that he wanted to be with her, that his destiny was with her, that he LOVED her...

Max, with tears in his beautiful eyes, watching her walk away from him, down that cliff and out of his life....

Liz felt tears fill her eyes again. She couldn't breathe! She needed air...

She grabbed her pillow and sleeping bag, crawled to the entrance of the tent and stumbled out...

Liz stood, took deep, cleansing breaths...Her thoughts were screaming though. MAX! Where are you???

She blinked when she suddenly saw movement near the Evans' tent. Liz looked around frantically. He couldn't see her like this! It would ruin everything...

Liz dropped her sleeping bag and pillow and threw herself down on top of them. She slammed her eyes shut.

Relax Liz, she thought, look natural. She concentrated on gentling the expression on her face, on breathing deeply and evenly.

She knew it was Max, just as she had always known when he was near. She could hear him moving around quietly, clearly not wanting to wake anyone up. She heard him fiddle with something near the fire and then silence. Liz carefully opened her eyes, keeping them slitted, to see what he was doing.

Max had a stick in his hand and he was poking around in the fire. His face was in her direct line of vision, the flames creating dancing shadows across his familiar and beloved features. His expression was somber but it was not the anti-Max...she knew it. Liz felt her heart practically stop in her chest. He looked so much like the Max she knew and loved - his face was relaxed and open, not hard and cold like it had been everytime she had seen him since she had been back.

He sighed heavily. She made herself close her eyes again when she realized that he was looking in her direction. Calm down...calm down, she kept repeating to herself. He thinks you're asleep...if he knows you're awake he'll shut down again...

Liz could hear him quietly walking in her direction. Her body began to tingle...She could hear Max breathing...

He seemed to stop just a few feet away from her. She KNEW he was watching her. She couldn't help it - she shivered, not from the cold but from his proximity....

Her ears were straining to hear the smallest sound...Max said nothing, just continued to watch her. It took all her willpower not to open her eyes, not to look and see if was really HIM, her Max...

And then she knew it was...suddenly she felt a warm breeze brush her cheek, seem to settle over her like a blanket...she could almost envision Max gently waving his hand over her, keeping her warm...an image of him reaching his hand behind her in the jeep that night they had chased Michael and Maria to Marathon appeared unbidden..."Just wanted to keep you warm..." he had told her gently as he had fixed a hole in the roof of the car...

She thought she heard him speak suddenly..."Liz..." but it might have been the wind - or wishful thinking...

Her heart screamed as she heard him move away from her....Max! Liz slit open her eyes again, watched him return to the fire.

Max's head was lowered pensively when a noise from the woods caused him to snap it up. Liz's heart was in her throat as he turned and entered the forest, apparently looking for something...

Although the stars were beginning to fade and the sky was beginning to brighten, it was still quite dark in the woods - Liz had turned off her flashlight so as to not draw Max's attention, but she realized that she was likely going to kill herself in the process...she moaned as she bumped into a tree, smacking her head quite hard.

When she looked up, Max had disappeared. Liz looked around frantically, her ears peeled trying to hear any noise. "Max, where the hell are you?" She muttered. She suddenly heard a voice.

"It's okay..." It was Max. "I'm not going to hurt you." The gentle tone made Liz's heart skip a beat. She cautiously made her way in the direction of his voice, stopped abruptly behind a tree when she realized that she was about to stumble out into a clearing and directly into Max's line of vision. She looked in the direction of the camp, realized that they really weren't that far into the bush at all. She could still see the dancing flames of the campfire reflecting off the trees.

Liz paused and then carefully peeked around the tree, praying under her breath that Max was not looking up...

He wasn't. He was crouched on the ground over a large, shadowed shape. Max's hand was hovering over the shape, apparently trying to soothe it.

Liz realized that it was a deer - and that it was hurt. She could see that it's delicate leg was bent back at an akward angle. The animal's eyes were bright with terror in the hazy dawn.

"Shhhh!" Max gently stroked the deer leg, clearly trying to get a handle on what was wrong with it...as Liz watched his hand began to glow. Max's face whitened as he took the deer's pain into his own body - healing it....

Liz felt tears beginning to fill her eyes. She flashed back to when Max had healed her - when their amazing connection to each other had begun...

She could still see Max hovering over her like it was yesterday: "You're okay now...you're going to be okay..." She still recalled the feeling of wonder that had claimed her...that she had been about to die - and that Max Evans had pulled her back....

Suddenly the deer was on it's feet and bounding off into the bush...Max watched it go, his expression unreadable.

"Max..." she breathed, getting ready to step out from behind the tree, to let him know that she had seen everything, that she KNEW he was pretending to be something he wasn't...he was still her Max...he had just proven it...

Max was still staring after the deer. As she watched him, he reached up, scrubbed his hand across his eyes wearily...

"What the hell are you doing?" Another voice demanded, anger evident in the tone. Max's head snapped up. Liz recognized the voice immediately.

It was Michael and he had appeared in the clearing from a different direction. Now he was glaring at Max.

"What do you want Michael?" Max asked tiredly.

"I want to know what the hell you're doing?" Michael snapped back. "Where the hell is Liz?" Max stared at him.

"What are you talking about?" He demanded. He had begun to look around the clearing suspiciously. Liz felt her heart stop in her chest.

"She's not in the camp." Michael replied tonelessly. "When I saw that you were gone I decided to make sure you weren't ruining everything..." Max sighed.

"Liz isn't with me as you can clearly see." He looked sad for a moment. "I've taken care of that...you don't have to worry about it..."

"That still doesn't explain where she is..."Michael replied. He too was peering into the bush. Liz started to back carefully away. The tone of Michael's voice - it was terrifying...she literally didn't know what he would do to her if he found her spying on them. He sounded furious. What the heck is going on with you guys? She wondered to herself.

"If she saw you out here playing Dr. Dolittle...they're'll be hell to pay Maxwell..." Michael continued.

"She's not here okay? She probably went to the bathroom...I'm not her keeper for God's sake." Max told him, his tone becoming annoyed. "I promised I wouldn't have anything to do with her - with any of them...I've kept my word until now haven't I?"

"Whatever...you just see that you keep it up...you know what's going to happen if you don't... you know what YOU did and you know now what I can do..."Michael threatened..."I don't want to have to hurt you Max...but I will..." Liz saw Max swallow, look away from Michael's angry face. "Don't push me..."

With that Michael stormed off into the woods. Liz let her breath out with woosh. She hadn't even realized that she had been holding it...

"Liz?" Max was staring right in her direction. She knew it... just as she could feel when he was near, he could feel her...it had always been thus. "You can come out now. I know you're there." Liz couldn't tell if he sounded worried or annoyed. But there was no use trying to pretend she hadn't heard him.

Liz took a deep breath, stepped out of the shadows and into the increasingly bright clearing. Max was staring at her. His expression was shuttered. She could not figure out for the life of her what he was thinking.

"Max..." she began.

Liz smiled at him lovingly. "You can cut the crap Max." She told him, starting to walk towards him. She smiled even more when he stepped backwards, away from her, fright beginning to appear on his face. "I SAW you...I saw you heal that deer and I heard everything with Michael...I know you're faking..."

Max stared at her, pressed his lips together. "I don't know what you're talking about Liz." He replied stubbornly. Liz didn't reply, just kept walking towards him. Max stopped abruptly when he smashed backwards into a tree. He blinked. Liz wanted to giggle he looked so adorable. "I don't know what you think what you saw meant." He continued, clearly searching for words..."So I healed a stupid deer...it doesn't mean anything...helping an animal in need has nothing to do with the fact that I DO NOT want to be with YOU."

Liz just continued to smile, although it was beginning to feel a little strained. Why is he so good at being mean? She wondered briefly. It is SO unlike him. Shouldn't it be harder? "I don't believe you Max."

Max just shook his head, held up his arms trying to keep her away from him. "It's not my problem what you believe and what you don't believe Liz...You left ME remember. I don't want anything to do with you."he told her snarkily. Liz paused a couple of feet away from him. She stared into his eyes...they were still frozen, not the eyes of the boy she loved. But she KNEW that he was in there...

"Max..."she breathed, pushing aside his arms. She saw him swallow convulsively. AHA!

Liz threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. She threw all her love for him into that kiss - every ounce of her soul was transmitted to him through their lips...she fought him desperately, trying to make the connection...trying to see into his soul, to find out what he was hiding from her...

Nothing happened.

It was as though he had shielded himself from her. Max's arms were around her waist and he wasn't fighting her...but he wasn't participating either. It was like kissing ice.

Liz lifted her lips from his, stared into his eyes. They were burning...with what she couldn't tell.

"Max, what is going on with you?" She asked him desperately. "Please! I know what I saw - that was YOU healing that deer...I know what I felt back at the campsite - you warmed me up...I know you did." She felt Max flinch at that. A brief expression of guilt flashed across his face, but quickly disappeared. "What is Michael holding over you?"

Max turned his face away from her, roughly disentangled her arms from around his neck. "I'm not hiding anything from you Liz." He muttered as he set her away from him. "Michael has nothing to do with this...don't blame him for what YOU did...you walked away from me..." He paused, turned back to glare at her. "I'm happy now - I don't have any entanglements...I don't have to worry about all you guys anymore...and I don't want to ever again." He grabbed her chin in his hand, forced her to meet his eyes..."Do you understand Liz? I don't want anything to do with you or ANY of them..."

Liz stepped back, sighed. "You can say it as many times as you want Max...I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU! Do YOU understand?" Max rolled his eyes. She smiled at him again, although it felt like her face was going to crack off it was so fake.

"Oh, for God's...." He stormed off into the bush. "Just stay away from me...I mean it..."

Feeling her lips against his again...it had been his dream for the seven months since she had walked away from him at the pod chamber...and to have to push her away - it was like torture...he almost couldn't understand how he had been capable of it.

He could hear Liz following him back to the camp. He knew that he couldn't face her again so soon - he had to keep his distance, had to build up his strength to reject them all again.

Max abruptly turned to the right, headed in the direction of the lake. He paused briefly at a tree, leaned against it trying to catch his breath. Max closed his eyes, tried to erase Liz's face from his mind...but she was still there...she was always there....her beauty, her goodness, her love for him taunting, torturing him...

He pulled himself together with effort. Okay Max, just breathe...remember why you're doing this...you're doing if FOR Liz - for all of them...to keep them safe.

It was never going to work if Liz kept confronting him though - he could feel his resistance to her wearing down everytime. When Michael had threatened her a few minutes ago - it had made his heart stop, because the minute he had known that she was not in the camp, he had known exactly where she was...her presence had called to him, even though he had been unable to see her.

It's your own fault though, he reflected. Why on earth did you go near her at the campfire?

It had been easy to stay away from the others - he was used to it and basically hid from them when they were at home...but Liz...she was a different story...

He had been sure that she had been asleep. When Max had become aware of her so near, her cheek cradled on her small hand, her dark hair tucked up under a woolen hat accentuating every delicate feature on her beautiful face, her breathing deep and even, it had been impossible for him NOT to go to her...When she had shivered in her sleep, he had had no control - of it's own volition his hand had reached out, had stirred up the air molecules surrounding her, had tried to make her more comfortable.

And he had revealed himself to her. He had put her in acute danger.

Max remembered the look of shock and hurt that had crossed her face when he had blown her off while they were doing the dishes the previous night...he had felt his own heart breaking with hers - completely in sync with her emotions, just like always. It had been like the seven months they had been apart had disapeared...his heart - which had been frozen since she left him - had cracked and had started beating again.

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, Max thought now. I need to figure out a way to end this one way or another...even if it kills me. His expression became grim, shuttered, a mask hiding his true feelings.

I will not let anything happen to them - any of them, but especially Liz.

He went off in search of Pam - ready to continue the farce that had become his life.

Liz was pleased to see that almost everyone was up when she returned to the campsite. She couldn't see Max anywhere, assumed that he hadn't yet returned.

Kyle was frying eggs over the fire. She went to join him. "Hey."

He looked up at her worriedly. "Hey Liz. Are you okay?" Kyle asked quietly. "Maria said that you were gone when she woke up - when Isabel came looking for Max, we got worried." He eyed her, his concern evident. "Any luck?"

Liz just shook her head. "I can't really go into it Kyle....I'm still not exactly sure what' s going on...but I will tell you this - Max is in there and he's hiding something..." Kyle looked at her, his expression doubtful.

"I don't know Liz...don't you think you're just setting yourself up for disapointment?" He shrugged. "I mean, I didn't think Max Evans was capable of some of the stuff I've seen him do over the last few months..." Liz just smiled weakly.

"No one knows Max like I do Kyle." Kyle nodded.

"Yeah, Max told me once that you saw into each others souls...I mean he was drunk at the time...but who knows with these Czechs?" Kyle looked sad for a minute. Liz saw him glance across the campsite at Tess, who was trying to tame her curly blonde hair into some semblance of order.

"Kyle, is there something you want to talk about?" She asked him sympathetically. "I mean, I know you really liked Tess, before all the stuff that happened last year..." Kyle shrugged again.

"Just a case of wanting something that belongs to Max Evans again." He muttered, turning away. Liz let the matter drop, decided that she would ask Isabel about it later. It was clear that something was going on with Kyle and Tess, whether either of them wanted to admit or not...

Liz filled the coffee pot with water, set it on the fire and plunked down on a nearby log to wait for it to perk. She had barely slept the past two nights - well really since she had returned to Roswell, she amended. Her fatigue was beginning to take a toll on her ability to think straight.

"Hey Lizzie!" Maria emerged from their tent, pulling on a sweater as she approached the fire. She eyed her friend, concern on her face. "You don't look like you slept at all chica...it's still early...don't you think you should go back to bed for a while?"

Liz just shook her head. "No, I'm all right. Where's Izzy?" Maria sighed.

"So much for protecting them from themselves," she replied, her tone resigned. "She and Alex went to collect fire wood..." Maria's voice revealed that it was very unlikely that their friends would return with anything to keep the fire going.

Liz smiled. "Oh well, they need each other." She replied. "But I do need to talk to Izzy..." She lowered her voice, glanced around. She could her Pam bickering with Tess near the Evans' tent. Mr. Evans was staring at them both, clearly unsure what to say to either of them. Liz looked back at Maria. "I spoke to Max again this morning Maria..."

Maria raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"I know for sure he's faking Maria...I heard him talking to Michael..." Liz eyed Maria, wondering how she was going to handle what she had to tell her. "Maria, Michael is holding something over Max..." Maria's eyes widened. "I heard him threaten Max - telling him he had to stay away from us...from me." Maria was shaking her head.

"Are you saying that Michael actually spoke?" She demanded, hope beginning to appear on her face. Liz grimaced.

"He spoke alright...but I don't even know if it was Michael." Maria looked perplexed. "I mean, Michael could be difficult Maria....you know that better than anyone...But he wasn't scary....it was always clear that a lot of that tough stuff was a way to try and protect himself..."

"His stonewall..."Maria inserted, a sad half-smile on her face.

Liz nodded, "Yeah, anyway....this was more than that...he threatened Max with actual physical harm...and it wasn't in the heat of the moment either...not like when they used to fight..." Liz shivered involuntarily. "It was cold and deliberate...and real..."

Maria gulped. "So what are you planning to do Liz?" She asked, her tone frightened.

Liz didn't reply right away. Max had suddenly appeared from the woods, his face shuttered and cold...He didn't even look in Liz's direction, just headed straight for Pam. She threw her arms around him and pulled him off into the bush again. When Liz turned back to Maria, she could see that her best friend was watching her, concern on her face.

Alex was about ten feet away from her, kicking at a log, trying to break it into smaller pieces. Isabel could feel a smile beginning to break across her face. He was so adorable!

It amused her how incompetant Alex was when it came to outdoorsy matters...he was so capable when it came to anything technological, but throw him into the Great Outdoors and it was like he had never even learned to walk. He was glaring at the log now, clearly perplexed.

"Ummm...This might help." Isabel went to join him, handing him the small hatchet Mr. Whitman had given her when she and Alex had left. Alex turned and stared at the tool, his eyes brightening.

"This is why my dad bought that..." he muttered, as though he had just solved the riddle of the Sphynx. Isabel laughed despite herself. Alex raised his eyes to her face. "What's so funny?" He demanded, clearly offended. Isabel continued to giggle.

"You are Alex." She replied teasingly. "How is it that you can break into any computer system in the country but you can't even figure out how to collect firewood?" She asked.

Alex grinned. "Firewood is boring." He shrugged. "And you're one to talk...didn't you tell me that your dad was so surprised when you and Max asked to come on this trip last year, he spat his coffee into his cornflakes?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

Isabel's good mood disappeared at the mention of her brother. She flashed back to that morning, when she and Max had ambushed their father, working as a team to get him to agree to take them on the trip...they had had ulterior motives of course, to investigate the sighting, but it pained her to remember how close she and Max used to be. She missed her brother so much...

Isabel dropped her eyes. "Good job Whitman." She heard Alex berate himself. "I'm sorry Iz...I forgot...how I could have forgotten for one minute..." Isabel placed her mittened hand on his arm.

"It's okay Alex, really." She forced herself to smile. "I think Liz is going to break through to him...I mean, I KNOW she is..." Alex smiled back weakly, clearly unconvinced.

"I hope so Iz..." He looked down at her hand, which was clutching his sleeve. Isabel watched him lick his lips, clearly wanting to say something more.

"What is it Alex?" She asked softly. Alex blinked, looked up at her face. Isabel had always liked how they had always been able to look directly into each other's eyes. They were almost exactly the same height...she suddenly became acutely aware of how close she was to him. Her heart sped up.

"Izzy..." Alex raised his hand, stroked her cheek. "Do you think....I mean...can we try this again?" Isabel did not reply immediately. She just gazed at him, not wanting the moment to end. Alex continued, "I know why we broke up before...because Max and Michael were so upset about Liz and Maria...but, even though I want if for them more than anything, they may never find their way back to each other." Alex looked sad for a moment. "I don't like to be selfish, but is it really fair for us to be miserable just because they are?" He moved closer to her, until only a breath separated them. "I need you Izzy and I think you need me...I know that I can never replace Max and Michael, but I love you. If I can't replace them, at least let me try and make you smile again."

Isabel stared at him, her love for him almost painful. Being away from him these last months had been like torture - no one had ever understood her like Alex, had made her feel so special. She ached for him that he thought that he wasn't enough for her. "Alex, you don't need to feel like you need to replace Max or Michael...the way I felt...I mean, the way I FEEL about you has nothing to do with them....I love them and I miss them, but I miss you too..." Alex's expression brightened.

Isabel reached out and hugged him tightly. "I think we made a mistake." She continued. "I don't know why I thought not seeing you would help Max...I think it sort of made things worse actually...he seems to have forgotten how lucky we are to have you guys...all of you." Isabel pulled back. "I want to be with you to Alex. I think we both need to be a little selfish...both Max and Michael need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. I have a right to be happy..." She could feel tears welling up. "And I can't be happy if I'm not with you." Alex grinned at her, brushed a tear off of her cheek.

"Screw destiny!" He exclaimed, kissing her fiercely. He pulled back, kept his arms around her waist. "Maria's going to be really pissed off." He said jokingly. "She's going to tell me that I've let myself be pulled back into the alien abyss..." Isabel felt a momentary pang.

"Do you feel that way Alex?" She asked worriedly. Alex continued to grin at her.

"Nah...I never managed to climb out in the first place." He replied softly. Isabel grinned back and sighed with happiness as he leaned in to kiss her again.

Alex and Isabel were lost in each other for a long time, trying to make up for the months they had wasted. Isabel finally became reaware of her surroundings when she heard someone clear their throat.

She looked up to the sight of Liz, Maria, Kyle and Tess staring at them. "Are we interrupting something?" Kyle asked, his tone sarcastic. Liz was smiling, Tess' expression was unreadable, but Maria looked furious.

"Alex!" She exclaimed, clearly perturbed. Alex moved away from Isabel but kept a firm grip on her hand.

"Maria!" He replied, his tone just as annoyed. Maria scowled at him.

"Bah! Well, don't say I didn't warn you." Alex shrugged, squeezed Isabel's hand.

"No, I certainly won't say that." He grinned again.

Isabel turned to Liz. "Did you talk to Max again?" She asked hopefully. Liz's mood was clearly better this morning, although she did look really tired.

"Yup," Liz replied. "I don't want to go into too many details until I talk to Max again..." She paused when she saw Isabel practically jumping up and down in excitement. "Don't get your hopes up too high Iz..." She cautioned. "I found out that Max is faking it...I think he's going to keep faking it too...but, basically, ignore anything he says to you...he doesn't mean any of it."

"Did he tell you that Liz?" Alex asked. Liz shook her head.

"No, but I overheard him and Michael." She looked sad. "I think you were right about something happening either to them or between them at the Reservation Isabel. It was more than clear from what I overheard that they are not friends anymore, no matter how much time they spend together."

"I don't get it." Kyle said, voicing what Isabel was thinking. She didn't understand why Liz was being so evasive.

Liz grimaced. "I really want to tell you guys, but I think its better that I keep the details of their conversation to myself." She glanced at Maria warningly. "I don't know if they're going to want us interfering with what happened between them when they're back to normal." Isabel felt her confusion mounting.

"Are you telling me that you can snap them out of it Liz?" She asked, barely daring to breathe, her hope was becoming so strong.

"I think so." Liz sounded confident, but her eyes reflected her uncertainty. "But I need your help guys. I need to get Max alone somewhere private...and it needs to be somewhere he can't escape from." She smiled and Isabel started at the determined gleam that appeared in the other girl's eyes. It was clear that Liz was ready to do ANYTHING to get the real Max back. "You guys also need to keep Pam occupied."

Isabel nodded. "Anything you want Liz." She could see that Tess was unconvinced however. While Tess had warmed up to Liz, there was no question she was still jealous of the bond between Liz and Max that Liz took no pains to hide.

It had happened quite by accident actually. Mr. Evans, Mr. Troy and Pam had decided to go for a hike and had insisted that Isabel join them. Max had thought at first that Izzy was behind trying to get Pam away from him again - so Liz would have another chance at getting him alone. But Izzy had been so annoyed by the idea in general, he didn't think she had anything to do with it...she had only agreed when Alex and Mr. Whitman decided to join them. Max had been surprised to see Alex and Isabel holding hands when they left. Deep down he was pleased that they had apparently found their way back to each other. Max knew how lonely Isabel had been since he and Michael had changed. She needed Alex.

He had been surprised when Liz hadn't even come near him after the six had left. She had stayed with Kyle, Maria and Tess near the campfire, laughing and fooling around. Max had wanted to join them so badly it had hurt - but he knew that he couldn't....not only was Michael still there, Liz already had a good idea that he was faking his new personality. He couldn't risk being near her...he had to keep her safe.

Finally Mr. Parker and Sheriff Valenti had hauled the remaining four kids off into the bush, on a scavenger hunt they had been working on all morning. Max had been shocked when Michael had actually gone with them. He still didn't understand why, but he was pleased that it meant he could have some solitude.

Now he was sitting on a log near the Evans' tent, his head in his hands. It was extremely rare for him to have any time to himself these days. Pam was always there and when she wasn't Michael was, watching him suspiciously.

It was one of the reasons he had decided to go out with Pam in the first place - to try and get away from Michael for a while. He didn't like Pam at all, in fact disliked her intensely for the way she had treated Liz all last year, but, as was the case with most of his life these days, when the opportunity to date her had arisen, Max had had no choice...

Pam had approached him about six weeks into the school year. The gossip surrounding Liz and Max's break-up and Liz's decision to stay away from school for the first semester of junior year had been fierce. Liz's good name had been dragged through the mud actually. Someone had remembered the time that the two of them had been caught in the Eraser Room by the principal and soon the talk was that Liz was pregnant and that she had gone off to have the baby in secret and to then put it up for adoption - and that Max had dumped her when he found out.

Max reflected now that he really hoped that Liz knew nothing about all that. She would be devastated and humiliated. That what they had gone through could become so easily trivialized by their classmates...it made him sick. He had wanted to go on the PA, announce to the world that he loved Liz Parker in a way that few of them would ever understand, that SHE had broken up with him, that he would love her forever - but he hadn't...he had gone completely against everything his gut was telling him to do and he had used the gossip to try and keep Liz safe...to keep all his friends safe.

Max had already begun his campaign to be perceived as someone who had done a 180 personality-wise. He had started to flunk tests, skip classes, lip off to his teachers and his parents... he ignored Isabel and treated Alex and Maria like dirt. Michael was always there, watching, waiting for him to screw up...Max had been relieved when Liz had not returned after the summer. To try and be as mean to her as he was being to everyone else...he just knew that it would be impossible.

Then Pam had approached him.

Max knew that Liz despised Pam Troy...it had been so unlike Liz to hate anyone, Max had wondered at it sometimes. He had asked Maria about it one day. Liz's best friend had told him about how Pam had always been jealous of Liz, how Pam knew that Liz was prettier, smarter, more popular...but that the kicker had been when Kyle Valenti had asked Liz out - after Pam had practically thrown herself at the star of the football and basketball teams all freshman year. That was when Pam had truly begun her campaign of terror against Liz...

It had started small - a rumor here and there...that Liz and Kyle were sleeping together, that Liz's dad was going bankrupt, stupid things like that...

But then Pam had had her big chance...Liz and Max broke up.

Max knew that Pam had started the rumors about the reason for their break-up. His hatred for her knew no bounds. When she had first approached him, asked him out, he had rebuffed her completely...it had been the first time that his jack-ass act had been a benefit.

But then Michael had stepped in. "I think you should go out with Pam."

Max had been so shocked, he had been incapable of speech for several moments. "Why?" He had finally managed to croak.

Michael had just stared at him coldly. "I don't trust you Maxwell...you've been behaving yourself up until now, but I KNOW you...you're going to be putty in Liz Parker's hands when she gets back. You need to do something that will keep her away from you, that will really make her hate you."

Max had wanted to resist with every fibre of his being, but he knew he had no choice."Fine." He had finally muttered. He had asked Pam out the next day at school. She had been ecstatic and had been all over him ever since.

That he finally had a few moments to himself now - it was like a gift. He could sit and brood in peace - daydream about the days when he knew what it was like to love and be loved...

Liz...God, he loved her. He had been amazed at how much he still loved her when he had seen her at the bus, how much he just enjoyed watching her, how beautiful she was to him...he had known all his life that she was the only one for him. Seeing her again after so long only reinforced it.

Max not only missed her - he missed himself, the person he was when she was around... He had never been overly confident in the person he was before Liz - but that she had loved him...it had made him LIKE who he was in a way that he never had before. He hated that he had to hide his true nature, that he couldn't be the Max that Liz loved.

He wondered if he could ever fix things so that they could go back to normal. He knew that Maria hated him now, that Alex almost did too, that even Isabel was beginning to give up on him...Tess seemed to have given up too to a certain degree...he was so isolated. That Liz was ignoring him now too...

Well, at least I know I'll always have Michael, he thought bitterly.

Max was abruptly thrust from his reverie by someone calling his name. "MAX! Max, where are you??"

It was Tess - and she sounded frantic. Max jumped to his feet, fought to keep his face bland. While he was not Tess' biggest fan, she WAS one of them...he had started to care about her despite himself.

Tess came stumbling out of the bush, her blonde hair in complete disarray, her expression panicked. Max stepped forward, grabbed her by the arms.

"Tess?" He asked, concern evident in his voice despite himself. Tess stared up at him, her blue eyes wide, beginning to glisten with tears...

"Max, there's been an accident." She managed to say, still breathing hard. Max could tell that she had sprinted all the way back to the camp.

One name shot through Max's mind...LIZ! He knew without asking that it was her.

"There's no time Max! I'll tell you on the way." She had exclaimed, clearly on the verge of breaking down. "Just come. We may already be too late." "Just tell me..."Max had asked, his hands clenched. "Is it Liz?" Tess had just stared at him for a moment, then nodded.

"I'm sorry Max. C'mon! We don't have time for this..."

Max reached down to help Tess up when she tripped over a rock. He was amazed that she was so concerned and upset.

It must mean that something is really wrong, Max thought, beginning to really panic. What would he do if Liz was gone from his life?

He had no clue and he didn't even want to contemplate it. He forced back his terror. He had to be completely with it when they got wherever they were going. He was the only one who could potentially help Liz...if it wasn't too late.

Max wondered where on Earth they were going. They had been running through the trees for a good ten minutes now. "Where are Liz's dad and the Sheriff?" Max asked breathlessly as he and Tess paused for a rest.

"They went down to the lake to wait for the winner of the scavenger hunt." Tess explained. "Michael and Maria were a team and me and Kyle and Liz..." Max blinked, as they started to walk again, still trying to catch their breath.

"Michael agreed to that?" He asked, amazed. Tess shrugged.

"It was his idea." Max began to get really worried. What the hell was Michael up to? He realized that it wasn't the time to wonder though - he had to concentrate on Liz.

"Are we almost there?" He demanded impatiently. Tess nodded.

"Just another couple of minutes. After Liz was hurt, Kyle and I carried her to an abandoned ranger's cabin and then I came to find you." Max was relieved that Liz was not alone. He might not like the idea of Kyle and Liz together but he knew that Kyle cared about her. If he couldn't be with her, then he was glad that someone who loved her was...

"What happened to her?" Max asked again. "I need to know if I'm going to help her at all."

"I don't really know Max. Kyle was helping me find a specific leaf for the hunt when we suddenly heard Liz scream. When we went to find her, she was unconscious and bleeding all over the place."

They emerged into a clearing. Max could see a small cabin about twenty feet away. Kyle was sitting on the porch, his head in his hands. His head snapped up when Tess called out to him. He quickly jumped to his feet. "Finally!"

"Is she okay Kyle?" Tess asked, her voice quivering.

Max could tell that Kyle was too upset to talk. He had tears in his eyes. He just shook his head. Tess went to him, hugged him, buried her head in his chest.

Max couldn't breathe. It couldn't be true...Liz couldn't be...dead. How could this possibly have happened?

And she didn't even know that he still loved her.

An unbidden thought appeared in Max's mind. MICHAEL. Somehow Max knew that he was responsible for this.

He could feel rage beginning to build...he pushed it away. He had to go to Liz.

Max felt like he was walking through a nightmare as he mounted the steps to the porch of the cabin. He pushed the door open, saw her lying on a small cot in the corner of the room.

There was blood everywhere.

He forced himself to move. He was at her side in an instant, on his knees beside the cot. He didn't even hear the door of the cabin slam shut behind him.

Max raked his eyes over her beloved form. Liz's eyes were closed, her expression serene. He couldn't see an injury, a scratch, anything. All he could see was blood...it covered her and was dripping onto the floor as well.

He noticed almost immediately that she was breathing...her chest rose and fell shallowly...he didn't know how it was possible since it appeared that she had lost every fluid ounce of blood in her body...but it was true.

There was still hope...

He would save her - even if he had to kill himself in the process. He didn't want to live without her anyway.

Max gently placed his hands on her temples, shuddering as they came into contact with the sticky blood in her hair...

He had to connect with her - find out what had happened. He began to get fuzzy images, things that made no sense. Mainly he could feel her calling to him..."MAX! HELP ME!"

"Liz, please try..."He pleaded. "Can you open your eyes- just a little bit? It'll make the connection stronger." Nothing happened.

Suddenly Liz's eyes flew open and she was staring right into his soul.

I couldn't pick up the pieces
Until I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
Till your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart.

I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
I would tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel.

There's nowhere I wouldn't follow
There's no place I'd rather be
'Cause life without you would be hollow
This love is a gift and you gave it to me.

All that I am you have made me
And baby I know that it's true
I'd give it all up in a heartbeat
Just to spend every moment with you...

I wouldn't want to be me...
If I didn't have you.

Amanda Marshall

Liz felt her heart beating a mile a minute as Max started to make the connection with her...only a couple more seconds...she thought.

She felt terrible. His voice had cracked when he had asked her to open her eyes. She knew what he must be suffering, thinking she was dying - but she had had no choice...

Liz waited until she felt images from Max's mind start to flood her own. He was concentrating so hard on what was going on in her head, he was not paying the least bit of attention to what HE was sending her.

She knew the exact moment that he realized that there was nothing wrong with her - she felt exactly what he felt at that moment...shock, relief, then panic....and rage.

The connection was made.

Liz felt him start to leave her - NO! She was just starting to get the flashes...she had to hold on to the connection...

She opened her eyes, stared right into his...they were starting to freeze over as she watched. Liz grabbed Max's head and pulled him down on top of her.

Her lips met his in a kiss so fierce, she could not breathe.

Liz could feel Max fighting himself...they were still connecting...he was trying desperately not to give in, but he wanted to...

She knew he did, because in that moment, she WAS him...

And then it happened...

The flashes started coming as Max gave in and started to kiss her back.

Flash*

Liz walking down the cliff at the pod chambers...She could feel Max's heart breaking as though it was her own....and then the despair...and the anger....

Flash*

Max lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if he would ever feel like moving again. One thought: Liz is gone, Liz is gone, Liz is gone...

Flash*

Isabel bursting into his room with Maria and Alex..."Michael is gone..."

Flash*

Michael standing with River Dog, their hands outstretched to Max..."Join us...learn all you can..."

Flash*

Michael and Max in the desert, facing off, hatred in Max's heart...

Flash* Flash* Flash*

Max as a child, emerging from his pod, taking Isabel's hand...leaving Tess behind...losing Michael soon after...seeing the Evans' headlights...fear and hope...

Flash* Flash* Flash*

Max seeing Liz for the first time...thinking she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen...

Panic...Max healing Liz after she was shot..."You spilled ketchup when you fell...don't tell anyone...please..."

Michael and River Dog glaring at Max, their arms crossed...then they turned their backs and started to walk away...

Flash*

Teen-age Michael in a pod, floating, his eyes closed...then snapping open to stare at Max...hatred gleaming in their depths..."You betrayed us...you betrayed our kind..."

The connection between Liz and Max was severed suddenly, abruptly...

Liz realized that they had rolled off the cot. She was now on top of Max on the floor. She opened her eyes, stared into his...He had his hands on her face, they were suddenly in her hair...

"You're alright..."he said dumbfounded. "How?"

"Tess." Liz only had to say the name for him to understand. His eyes darkened.

"She made me see that? But I FELT the blood Liz...I know you were bleeding..."

Liz smiled ruefully. "What can I say? She's been practicing. I didn't believe her either when she told me how realistic she could make it."

Max was staring at her. She had absolutely no idea what he was thinking.

"Max?"

"Liz." He replied tonelessly.

"Are you mad?" She asked in a small voice. She knew that he was again her Max - and that if she was in his position she would be very, VERY angry.

"Yes, actually I am a little mad."

"Oh...you do understand why I did it?" Max raised an eyebrow at her. She was pleased to note that his h