Author:rttavi feedback should be sent to her husband
Rating: R to NC-17 (haven't decided yet)
Distribution: Ask first
Pairing: M/M primary
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Roswell or the characters of Roswell. I don't profit from anything
Feedback: Send it to: rttavi@aol.com
Notes: Okay, this is kind of Twin Peaks-ish. There is character death, but it happens in like the first paragraph, so, please don't read if you can't deal : ) And I do mean that in a very nice way. I don't know who the aliens are yet, if any. I don't know which way my muse is driving so I can't tell you more…

**Not wanted? Let me know and I'll go elsewhere. It will go on, but not where its not wanted! This is just a little test bit here…You know how I am, it'll probably end up being like a billion pages long : )


Chapter One

Her body had washed up on the bank of Blackwater Draw just outside Roswell New Mexico. It was obvious she had been murdered; but who would want to murder her? The town sweetheart? Why would anyone want to murder Liz Parker?

That's exactly what Sheriff Kyle Valenti wanted to know as he looked at his dead friend in the morgue. He took a deep breath and started gagging. How could I ever tell her parents? He asked himself. He had only been the Sheriff for a few months now and this was his first, and hopefully last murder. But this was a friend. Although not a close friend anymore, a friend none the less. He took a deep breath and stumbled out of the morgue. Images of a nude Liz Parker with a scarf tied around her neck were burned in his memory. Monday was not a good day.

The medical examiner had already confirmed she had been strangled to death. Kyle thought that was obvious, the red scarf almost looked like it was embedded in her skin. She was already dead when she was put in the water, and it had been determined that she'd been dead for at least twelve hours.

Kyle shook his head and wiped his brow as he walked back out into the fresh air. It was May and it was hot. And now he had to go tell the Parker's their little girl was dead. Then he had to tell her long time boyfriend Max Evans and question him about it. Damn! Kyle shook his head and wondered if he could delegate the questioning part to one of his deputies. Probably not, this was a job for the Sheriff. The history between Kyle and Max had been rocky at best and now he had to tell him his girlfriend was dead? Oh God, then he had to go home tonight and tell his own girlfriend, Maria DeLuca, that her friend was dead. Shit! At least she had taken the day off work otherwise she'd have already known. Kyle knew there were bad reasons for her to work at the station with him. She was a hell of a good dispatcher, but …

He got in his 4X4 and cruised through town not looking forward to anything. Kyle Valenti hated Mondays even more now.

*        *         *

FBI Agent Michael Guerin drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he cruised through Alamogordo New Mexico on his way from Tucson to Roswell. Another one had turned up early this morning. Just like the rest. That made eleven over the last two years.

He shook his head and turned up the radio. This was his pet. His baby. All of his time was devoted to finding this killer. Some sicko had sucked him in with the first murder and now Michael thought it was up to him to find him. Eleven murders in eleven different states. All the same MO. Strangled with a red scarf.

One hundred and sixteen miles to Roswell and Agent Michael Guerin had no idea what to expect. He knew the local law enforcement wasn't going to want him there trying to run the show, but too bad. This was his case and he was going to run it. He hoped he wouldn't have a problem with anyone; but didn't really care if he did. This was a job and an obsession. It had become his obsession when his girlfriend had been victim number one.

*        *         *

Chapter Two

"No!" Maria DeLuca screamed as Kyle held her tight. He had gone home to tell her before going to Max's place. It seemed like the right thing to do, but now he was going to have to leave her alone. "Are you sure?"

"Honey, I'm sorry." Kyle stroked her shoulder length blond hair. "I'm so sorry."

"I feel horrible, I mean I haven't even talked to her in over a month and now she's…She's gone." Maria pushed away from him and began to pace. "Oh God, her parents. Max! Do they know?"

"I've already been to her parents and they're bad, obviously. I'm on my way to Max's now."

"I should go." She looked around for her purse.

"No Maria, you can't go." He took a deep breath. "I have to ask him a few questions while I'm there. You know the rules."

"Oh God, You can't seriously think that Max had…Kyle!" Maria faced him with her hands on her hips.

"I have to do my job, I'm sorry. Are you going to be okay here alone? Should I call anyone to come over?"

She shook her head as new tears fell. "I'll be okay. Just hurry home."

Kyle kissed her good bye and left for the hard trip to Max Evans' house. Kyle didn't want to see him at all, let alone to tell him Liz was gone. Eight to twelve hours. Liz had been dead for eight to twelve hours and no one had missed her? Kyle didn't like the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach, but maybe that was normal when you saw one of your friends dead. Murdered.

He took a deep breath and thought Maria had handled it better than expected. He knew her and Liz weren't the same kind of friends they had been in high school and right after, they had drifted. Liz had been so wrapped up with Max that Maria had kind of fallen by the wayside. That's when her and Kyle had begun to form a bond of some type.

It had started out as friendship and almost hit familial; but when his father and her mother had bitterly ended their relationship, they became more than friends. That had been almost a year and a half ago. Kyle remembered the night he first kissed her. It had been awkward and they laughed. Eventually they had gotten past the laughter and found something in each other they needed. Family.

Kyle loved her and he knew she loved him back; but their relationship was strange by nature. At times Kyle felt they were more like friends and roommates than lovers. It didn't matter to him; he loved her and wanted to marry her someday. Someday. Neither of them brought it up very much. Kyle knew when the time was right; he'd make Maria DeLuca his bride.

He drove faster than as the Sheriff, he should have, clouds of sandy dust billowed out in back of him. He imposed this as an emergency; no one got murdered in Roswell. Especially not someone like Liz Parker. He slammed his fist into the dashboard and heard a small crack. "Damn it!" He yelled and hit the dash again widening the crack.

He pulled up in front of an apartment building he'd only been in a handful of times before. Taking a deep breath, he got out of the 4X4 and made his ascent to an apartment on the second floor. He knocked loudly and then nearly shouted when the door flew open at once.

"Liz?" Max asked before seeing Kyle. "Damn it!" Max Evans pushed off the door and let Kyle in. "Have you seen Liz? I've been trying to get a hold of her since last night."

"Max," Kyle lowered his mirrored sunglasses and tried to look him in the eye but was finding it incredibly hard. Not because he couldn't do it, but because Max wouldn't quit pacing. "Max." He said his name a little more forcibly this time.

"What?" Max quit pacing and looked at the Sheriff. His eyebrows knitted together as his world crumbled. "No…Liz…?

"Max, I'm sorry." Kyle led the man to the couch and sat him down. He pulled up a chair and sat across from him.

"When? How?" His eyes were wet but Kyle could tell he was trying to stay calm and do the right thing.

"She was found this morning-"

"Found?"

"Blackwater Draw." Kyle didn't mention the scarf. That was classified right now. "She was strangled…I'm sorry."

Max bowed his head and Kyle cringed when he heard the sobbing. Oh God, he thought, this was really not a good Monday. He reached across to him and put his hand on his semi-friend's shoulder.

"Who would? I mean, It's Liz!" Max wept and Kyle wanted to bolt. "Liz…" He broke off into sobs.

Kyle knew there was nothing he could say or do that was going to make this any better. This was a bad situation and was probably only going to get worse.

"Max, when did you last see or talk to her?"

He shrugged. "Oh God, her parents…"

"I've already been there," Kyle said quietly. He knew he'd never forget the pain he saw on their faces. The pain he'd delivered. Maybe becoming the Sheriff was not such a good idea after all.

Max nodded and wiped his eyes putting on a strong face. "I talked to Liz yesterday afternoon. She was working until eight and then going home. I…I…Proposed to her and she wanted to work on the wedding plans."

Shit. Kyle shut his eyes and willed himself away from this situation. It had gone from the worse to way beyond that in a matter of a sentence. "What time did you talk to her?"

"Around five, I guess. I just home from work."

"Were you here alone last night?" Kyle tried to keep the interrogation-tone out of his voice.

"Yeah…What are you saying Kyle?" Max looked at him with fire in his eyes. "Why the fuck are you asking me that? Do you think…? Fuck!"

"I have to ask Max, it's my job." Kyle felt the sweat trickling down the back of his neck. "I'm sorry."

"Get out Kyle," Max stood and pointed towards the front door. "Get the fuck out of my home and don't come back until you can tell me who killed Liz!"

"I'll be back, Max." Kyle stood and slipped his sunglasses back on. "I need you to come down to the station and make a statement, tomorrow will be fine."

"Get out!" Max yelled.

"She was my friend too, Max." Kyle said softly as he walked from the apartment. The air seemed to be full of bits of heat. Kyle knew he was sweating more than he should have been, but he thought he had the right. "Damn it Evans, I know you didn't kill her…" He mumbled as he climbed back in the 4X4. "I'm just doing my fucking job."

He floored it out of the parking lot leaving a trail of dust and gravel behind him. There was going to be a ton of paperwork on this one. He sped through town back to the station. A quick phone call to Maria told him her mother was over and he didn't have to worry about coming home until he was done.

*        *         *

Lorelei Govern. Lorelei with her pretty chestnut hair and matching eyes. Lorelei with her perfect smile and eloquent way with words. Lorelei with a red scarf tied around her neck, nude and lifeless.

That was the picture Agent Michael Guerin saw in his mind over and over for the last two years. His girlfriend, the woman he wanted to marry, was murdered in the apartment they had shared. He had found her body on the outside balcony of their third floor apartment. After working overnight at the FBI office in Seattle trying to get a fix on a pyromaniac who torched nudie bars, he came home right after dawn.

He'd never forget calling her name and instantly falling into a panic. The balcony door ajar had made him tremble. Then he saw her. His love on the balcony, dead. He lost hope in life and love that day. From that moment on he was a man obsessed.

There were nine others just like Lorelei's, ten counting the newest one in Roswell. Eleven states Agent Guerin had tracked the son of a bitch through. Never turning up more that a couple of leads that panned out to be useless. He'd get him, one way or another; he'd find the man who'd killed Lorelei and the others.

His supervisor at the bureau had been completely against Michael working on the case from the beginning, but after seeing the relentless energy Michael was devoting to it, he had to let him go on. There would be no rest under someone was brought to justice for taking Lorelei away from him.

The road through Ruidoso led Agent Michael Guerin past the Mescalero Apache Indian Reservation and his thoughts drifted to the others killed by the scarf strangler. That wasn't a publicized name, no one but Michael referred to him as that. No one else had a reason to. The use of the scarves in the murders was kept from the press. No one knew there was a serial killer.

The victims. He knew their names, ages, families, friends, habits and what they liked for breakfast. He had absorbed himself in their lives and never made a connection between any of them. He hoped against hope he'd make the connection with the newest victim…He glanced at the fax on the seat next to him. Elizabeth Parker.

Less than seventy miles to go. Michael was almost excited to get there and get his hands dirty. Maybe this would be the one who led him to the murderer. Maybe Roswell would have something to offer him.
*         *           *

Chapter Three

Maria DeLuca eventually kicked her mother out of the house. There was only so much smothering mother a person can handle and Maria had reached her quota. Even in mourning over the loss of her friend, smothering was not something Maria needed.

She dressed in her uniform shirt and slipped on a pair of tight blue jeans. The least she could do was help figure out who in the hell killed her childhood friend. She realized she was only a dispatcher, but she helped out on a lot of police matters. After begging Jim Valenti to deputize her and getting nowhere, probably due to her mother's interference, she now pestered her own boyfriend. Kyle told her over and over that it wouldn't look good to make her a deputy after he'd only been the sheriff for a few months. He kept telling her to keep her shirt on and she kept silently cussing him out.

She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and began to get pissed. The mourning was sliding away into anger. No one got murdered in Roswell and no one killed a friend of Maria DeLuca's and got away with it. She put on her resolved face and was now determined to weasel her way into the investigation come hell or high water.

She walked out of the little house she shared with Kyle and was almost running to her car. She slid behind the wheel of her little red Miata and slammed the car into reverse. Now she couldn't get to the station fast enough. She tried to keep her mind free of images of the grieving Parkers and Max Evans but was unsuccessful. Poor Max, she thought. He must be devastated. Him and Liz lived for each other and now…She pushed that out of her mind, for real this time, there would plenty of time for that later. Now she had work to do.

As she blew through a yellow light, a black Mercedes cut her off forcing her nearly off the road. She slammed on the horn. "You stupid mother fucker!" She yelled as she flipped off the man driving the sedan and got back on track to the station. She parked next to Kyle's 4X4 and took a deep breath. She walked into the station and immediately went to Kyle's office. Without knocking she walked in and smiled when he jumped.

"What are you doing here?" Kyle asked covering up papers on his desk.

"I'm here to help," she put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows.

"Are you okay?" He asked skeptically. "You should be at home."

"Doing what? Resting?" She laughed bitterly. "I'm here to help, Kyle. I want to help find out who killed Liz. Don't shut me out of this."

"You're a dispatcher Maria-"

"I should be a fucking deputy and you damn well know it! I can run circles around the idiots you have now." She raised her voice but not too much. She knew how thin the walls were. "I'm working on this whether you like it or not, Kyle."

"Damn it Maria, don't do this now." He took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands. "This is serious. I'm just finding out how serious it is," he motioned to the papers he was covering. "I can't afford to have you screw anything up." He regretted it as soon as he said it. "Maria-"

"Screw anything up?" She repeated and laughed. "Okay, that's a fucking riot! I don't screw things up, I figure them out and maybe if you got your head out of your-"

"Am I interrupting?" The voice cane from the doorway; neither Kyle nor Maria had noticed the stranger standing in the open door.

"Yeah, you are!" Maria swung around and faced him. She looked him over from toes to head and narrowed her eyes. "You're the son-of-a-bitch that nearly ran me off the road. Black Mercedes?"

The stranger smiled and nodded. "Guilty. My apologies."

"Can I help you with something?" Kyle asked standing up.

"Yes," the man stepped forward and outstretched his hand. "I'm Agent Michael Guerin, Federal Bureau of Investigation. You are the Sheriff around here?"

"I am," he shook Michael Guerin's hand over his desk. "Kyle Valenti. I assume you're here over what happened here this morning?"

Michael nodded. "Elizabeth Parker."

"I'm sorry, the Fed's are taking this over?" Maria stepped in between them. "Are you serious? Why?"

"I'm sorry," redness was creeping up Kyle's neck. "I should introduce our dispatcher Maria DeLuca."

"Yes, I believe I've already met her middle finger." Michael smiled and extended his hand to Maria. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm sure," She ignored his hand. "So, why are you here?"

"Maria, why don't you leave us alone for a few minutes and I'll get back with you about what we were discussing."

"I don't-"

"Maria," Kyle interrupted her with a new sterner voice. "Just do it."

She glared at him as she brushed by Agent Guerin and slammed the door behind her. Michael watched her walk away which did not go unnoticed by Kyle.

"Unhappy dispatcher?"

"Dispatcher and girlfriend." Kyle nodded. He always liked to make sure everyone knew Maria was taken. "It's been a rough day, Liz Parker was a friend of ours."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Michael sat down across the desk from Kyle and crossed his legs. "I need all the information on the crime scene and I'd like to see the body."

"Okay Mr. Guerin," Kyle leaned back in his chair and fit the image as Sheriff. "Do you mind if I ask what exactly you're here for? I got the faxes and I can see that this may be connected to a few others-"

"Ten others, Mr. Valenti." Michael tried to smile but he was just too damn tired. "It is connected to the others. I have a personal interest and I'm the lead investigator. I'd appreciate any help you can give me."

Kyle nodded slowly and looked Michael over. "You're here alone?"

Michael nodded. "It's just me that's why I want your help. I want to catch this asshole before he kills again. Kyle, may I call you call you Kyle?" He asked and Kyle nodded. "I don't want to come in here and start pushing everyone's buttons. I want to catch a killer and I want to do it now."

"A serial killer?"

"Yeah, a serial killer. Eleven women in two years." He let out a deep breath. "When your initial reports came through NCIC this morning I was in Arizona but as soon as I saw why they faxed it to me…" He trailed off and looked wistfully out the window. "Sorry. The red scarf. It's been the same in the other murders. It's the same guy and he's not slowing down."

Kyle let out a slow whistle. "So you think he's still here?"

Michael shrugged. "I don't know. I'll be here for awhile, is there a decent hotel around here?"

"Bed and breakfast?" Kyle raised his eyebrows. "About two blocks away from here. A couple of friends of mine run it. Actually, one of them is the sister of Liz's boyfriend, Max Evans."

Michael nodded slowly as if analyzing every word Kyle said. Kyle realized it and suddenly felt like he was under the microscope. "I'm going to go get settled in then," Michael rose. "Could you take me to see the body and the crime scene tonight?"

Kyle nodded. "Sure." He stood and met the Agents eyes.

"Good. I have a mobile office in my car," he glanced to his watch. "It won't take me too long to get ready. I can meet you back here in about an hour?"

Kyle nodded and watched Michael leave his office. He sat down heavy in the chair and seriously reconsidered his profession.

*        *         *

Michael walked down the hall of the police station and abruptly ran into a body. He looked ahead of him and it was that dispatcher, Maria.

"Do you ever look where you're going?" She snapped and he couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry," he pursed his lips and walked past her to the front door. He turned around once and she was still watching him. The Sheriff's girlfriend. He shook his head and walked to his car. He drove a two block radius before finding the bed and breakfast. He pulled along the side street of a strangely out of place Victorian house and got out. He grabbed a few bags from the trunk and walked to the front door. The nameplate by the door read 'Whitman's B & B'. He raised an eyebrow and walked inside.

"Hi, welcome." A beautiful blond woman met him at the door. "I'm Isabel Whitman," she looked at his bags. "Is it safe to assume you'll be staying with us for awhile?"

"Maybe," he cocked his head to the side and began to wonder if Roswell had something in the water to make all the women beautiful. He noticed her eyes were bloodshot and remembered what Kyle had told him. He'd question her later, maybe the next day.  "Do your rooms come equipped with phone jacks and several outlets?"

"No, actually, we use tin cans to talk to each other and have puppet shows for entertainment." She smiled sweetly.

"Thanks," Michael laughed and relaxed a little and wondered if that same thing in the water that made them beautiful also made them sarcastic. "Yes, I'll need a room." He followed her to a desk inside a spacious living room and watched as she began to fill out a receipt. "Michael Guerin." He supplied for her. What he didn't expect was the surprised look.

"Really. You got a letter delivered here today Mr. Guerin." She rummaged through the desk and handed Michael a plain white envelope with his first and last name on it in black.

He took it with a shaky hand and recognized the writing immediately. He waited for Isabel to finish checking him in and show him to his room before he opened the envelope. He set his bags on the floor and slipped on a pair of latex gloves. He didn't know why he bothered. There wouldn't be any prints, there never was. He slid out a piece of red paper and scanned the familiar black scrawl.

Agent Guerin.

Eleven muses eleven minds
Time's running out for you to find
I give you hints but your not so bright
And I know where you are this very night.

Time is of the essence
but your dying of thirst
I can feel your breath on my neck
But you can't get past the first

It's all there in black in white
Goodnight dear agent, good night

The letters were never signed and usually ran ten lines. Michael had received the first one the same day he had found Lorelei on the balcony and subsequently one for each new murder. Michael shook his head. The killer was beginning to know Michael better than he knew himself.
*          *            *

Chapter Four


Maria stormed back into Kyle's office once again without knocking and slammed the door shut behind her. She stood in front of his desk with her arms folded over her chest.

"What the hell was he doing here?" She demanded.

"He's the lead investigator," he took a deep breath and wondered how much he should tell her. He knew he'd tell her everything eventually, he always did. And she had been right in her earlier statement; she did run circles around the deputies. "He's here to help."

"With one little murder?" She cringed as she said it. The words seemed so callous. Liz had been her friend. "I didn't mean…"

"It's more than one…" He exhaled slowly. "Okay Maria, you win."

"What did I win?" She narrowed her eyes at him and leaned on his desk with her palms flat. "Kyle?"

"I'm deputizing you Maria." He smiled and wondered if he was doing it to make her happy or because she really was good. He reasoned that it was a little of both and that made it okay.

She smiled. "Are you serious? Or are you just saying that to get me off your back?"

"I mean it Maria," he added a silent prayer afterwards. "You were right, you are good and I do need you to do more than answer phones. You have a personal interest vested in this case and I know you won't give up until you find out what happened to Liz. If you're deputized, then it's official. I don't want to have to worry about you running around by yourself investigating."

She skipped around his desk and grabbed his hands pulling him up to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips. "Thank you." She backed away and met his eyes. "I won't let you down, Kyle."

He nodded and hoped she was right. "You're going to work with the Fed-"

"Hell no!" She shook her head. "This is my town and I'm not going to baby-sit any Fed!"

"This is his case Maria," he motioned to the chair across the desk and watched her sit down. "It's not a single act; Guerin said we're dealing with a serial killer and Liz was his eleventh victim."

"Oh shit." Her hand instinctively covered her mouth. Liz? Liz was a victim of something she never really thought about outside of books and movies. A serial killer in Roswell?

"I need you to work with him, okay? We don't have a big force and I can't spend all my time with him. You're going to have to help him." He sighed. "Maybe between the two of you, you can come up with something new. He's been following this since the first one and he said he's got a personal interest in it. There's something you have in common already."

"Kyle," the nerves of steel she had earlier were vanishing before her eyes. Am I really ready for this? She asked herself over and over. Then she got her answer. In her mind she flashed on a picture of her and Liz taken at high school graduation. Their arms slung over each other as only best friends can do. For Liz. For Liz she'd work with the Fed and find out who killed her. "When do I start?"

"Tonight I guess," Kyle leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "He's coming back here and wants to see the crime scene…Are you sure you're up to this?"

Maria nodded. "Oh yeah, I'm sure. I can hold his hand while I find out who killed Liz and bring them in. I can do this Kyle, okay? Do you trust me?"

"Yeah, Maria. I trust you. I know if anyone can unravel this, it's probably you."

"Do I get a gun?" Her eyes lit up as she raised her eyebrows. "Please?"

Kyle laughed. "Yeah, you get a gun. Now aren't you glad I made you go through the training courses? Otherwise you'd have to wait three more weeks. See, I know how to take care of my girl."

She walked back around the desk and sat on his lap as she kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her interlacing his fingers around the small of her back. "Where's he at now?" Maria interrupted the moment and sat up straighter forcing Kyle to lose his grip on her.

"Isabel's."

Maria closed her eyes hearing the name. She should call Max and see if there was anything she could do for him. She should call the Parker's and offer the same. No, she shook her head; the way to help them is to find Liz's murderer. "He'll be back here, when?"

"Soon," Kyle glanced at his watch. "Why don't we go fill out some paperwork until he comes back? We'll make you official."

"What's him name again?" Maria got off Kyle's lap and followed him out of the office.

*        *         *

Michael Guerin placed the note into a mailing envelope already full of the same. Each time the killer had known where Michael was. He knew his movements almost as well as Michael knew his own. The letter had been waiting for him. How could he have known where he was going to stay? How could he have known and had his sick sense of poetry waiting for him at the last eight hotels?

The letters after the murders were what bit at Michael the most. The ones that he got sent every so often in-between murders were designed to keep him on his toes. He closed his eyes and wondered if he'd show them to Sheriff Valenti. He hadn't shown them to the others that had helped, but Michael got a feeling that Roswell may be the answer.

He had felt it as soon as he walked into the Sheriff's office. Right into the middle of an apparent lover's quarrel between the sheriff and his dispatcher girlfriend. Things were a little different here. Valenti seemed willing to help him without him whipping out the big bad Federal Agent routine. He knew it was a tired routine, but it usually worked. No one liked to piss off the Feds. No, he didn't see a problem here with Valenti.

Michael Guerin had left the apartment he had shared with Lorelei Govern the day he found her. He packed a few bags for himself and stayed at a hotel until he got the first letter in the mail. He could state each letter verbatim. The first had been the hardest.

Agent Guerin.

She was an angel
Tried and true
You lost her to the devil
Now what to do?

More will follow
Is that a dare?
How will I vanish?
Into thin air.

Agent Guerin can you find me?
Agent Guerin can you care?

Michael closed his eyes and laid back on the overly soft bed. He grasped handfuls of the quilt in his fists and thought about his obsession. He had left Seattle after receiving the second letter. He had killed again. Michael didn't have a home anymore to go back to. He went to each victim's town and learned about them until he felt like he had known them. There was a link between them but Michael hadn't figured it out yet. So far the only thing they had in common was they were all female and in their early twenties. He pushed images of his dead Lorelei away and thought about victim number two. He tended to always think about them in order. Ivy Mason. Ivy Mason who was found nude with a red scarf around her neck a mile away from her home in Billings Montana. Ivy had no connection to Lorelei.

Michael had stayed in Billings for almost eight weeks, until he had received the letter telling him there had been another.

"Damn!" He said out loud and repressed all the information he had gathered about Ivy Mason. All of his promises to her parents that he'd find who did that to their little girl. All the promises.

Michael sat up and looked around the quaint little room he was in and wondered for how long he'd call it home. If history played a part in it, he knew he'd be there for about two months then there'd be another murder.

The task force had disbanded six weeks after Lorelei's murder, but Michael hadn't quit looking. He was grateful for his position and his superiors. He had the FBI resources at his disposal, but he was alone on his quest. The way Michael knew he'd always be, alone.
*        *         *

Chapter Five

Maria beamed at the shiny new Deputy badge in her hand like it was delicate gift. She found her reflection in it and smiled. She was an official Roswell deputy. She pinned the badge to her shirt and turned around to face Kyle.

"Well, how do I look?" She asked and leaned over his desk. "Do I look official?"

"You look cute," he grinned at her and glanced at a framed picture on his desk. It was of him and Maria on the front porch of their house the day she moved in with him. Kyle smiled every time he looked at it. "Once you get your side holster I think you're going to look pretty hot."

"So you like a woman in uniform with a big gun, huh?" She winked.

The door to the office opened and Agent Michael Guerin walked in. He had changed since their earlier meeting; he'd traded in the suit and tie for jeans, a T-shirt and work boots. Kyle noticed Maria noticing and stood up for interference.

"Are you two ready to go?" Maria asked with her hands on her hips.

"Is it routine to take dispatchers to crime scenes?" Michael asked with a smile close to the surface. Dispatcher. Her name? He racked his memory and came up empty.

"I'm a deputy, now." She pulled her badge away from her towards him. "See."

"Well, that was fast." He smiled and felt something sting inside of him that he hadn't felt for a long time. What was her name?

"She had it coming," Kyle smiled at his girlfriend. "She's good. I think you two will get along great. Maria's got a knack for figuring things out."

Maria. Michael nodded. Her name is Maria.

"Kyle said I'm going to be working with you." She turned and walked out of the office with Kyle at her side and Michael trailing behind them.  

Maybe Maria would be able to help. Maybe she would be the one who could help. The last two years had been filled with ghosts and now here was this Maria in the flesh.

He watched her walk and admired the way her jeans hugged her hips. The squeaky noises her sneakers made on the linoleum. The sway of her hips as she walked and the slight wiggle of her ass. He ran a hand through his hair and watched as she snaked her arm through Valenti's.

He followed the couple outside to the 4X4 and watched as Maria got in the backseat. She leaned over the seat and he smelled Jasmine. Maria smelled like Jasmine. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He couldn't remember the last time he had smelled anything that good.

"So," Maria said and he realized how close she was to his face. "Kyle said that Liz wasn't the first."

"No," he shook his head and tried to push the Jasmine away. "There are ten others. The first was in Seattle." Lorelei. "He strikes about every two months in different cities, different states."

"Why Liz? What's the connection?"

"I don't know," he said and hoped the others didn't hear the desperation in his voice. "There isn't a link between any of them. Nothing."

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked joining the conversation.

"So far there hasn't been and I've done the homework. The only thing they even have in common is that they're all female and in their early twenties. They don't resemble each other; they come from different backgrounds, religions and races. There is nothing that connects them to each other." Except for me, he added silently as he thought about his ghosts; but that's not until after they're gone.

"And it's always the same?" Maria asked and Michael remembered the Jasmine.

"Same MO. They all died by strangulation. The weapon used, a red scarf. Most of them are silk, a few were rayon. No other marks on the body except for some postmortem bruising. No evidence of sexual molestation. They've either been found about a mile away from their homes or in their residence. They were posed if they were found at home. They were all nude." Lorelei on the balcony. "How far away is Liz's house?"

"Less than a mile," Kyle answered. "Just a few blocks away from Blackwater Draw, actually."

Michael nodded and closed his eyes. He deliberated telling them about the letters, something he had kept to himself. Not yet. They were both being helpful, but not yet…

"Nothing links them?" Maria asked but it wasn't really a question, more of a statement. "Every two months. So we have two months to figure this out?"

"I guess you could look at it that way," Michael smiled.

"No, I don't want to look at it that way," Maria said defiantly. "I want to find this asshole much sooner than that. I'm not going to wait around for him to kill again. He killed my friend, Mr. Agent, and I want him brought to justice for it. Now."

Michael smiled and admired her spunk. He hoped she wouldn't become jaded when she dove deeper into this case. He hoped she wouldn't turn out like him.

"She's aggressive," Kyle laughed. "Did I mention that?"

"You don't have to," Michael turned around and faced the flaxen haired wonder in the backseat. "I can see that for myself."

Maria felt the blush crawling up her neck and hoped her uniform shirt would cover it. "We'll get to the bottom of this Agent Guerin. We'll get this guy and all go home happy."

"I hope so Maria, I really hope so." Michael replied but he knew he didn't have a home to go to and he didn't think he'd ever really be happy again. Too many ghosts.

Kyle stopped the 4X4 at the yellow crime scene tape about twenty feet from the edge of the bank of Blackwater Draw. Michael and Kyle got out of the vehicle right away. It took Maria a minute to compose herself. She was getting ready to see where her friend's body had been found. Taking a deep breath she hopped out of the backseat and followed the two men under the yellow tape.

Maria tried to keep her balance on the rocky banks leading down to the river in the dying sunlight. She slid on a rock and grabbed out knowing she was going to land on her ass. Instead, she never hit the ground. Michael was there and he had caught her; his hands under her arms. He helped her steady herself before he let go. She thought he might have smelled her neck when he was lifting her up; but she couldn't tell for sure.

"Maria?" Kyle looked over his shoulder. "You okay?"

She nodded suddenly completely aware of the closeness of the Federal Agent. "Wrong shoes, I should have worn boots."

Kyle nodded and led them towards the water. The crispness of the wind blowing off the water gave Maria the goosebumps. She hoped it was the only consequence of the breeze but was too nervous to look down at her chest. She watched her footing while walking behind Michael. The few times she'd glanced up, she noticed the way his jeans fit him. They fit very nice; but that was not something she shouldn't be thinking about now. Or at all, actually.

Kyle stopped walking at the spot where Liz Parker had been found and pointed to the ground. It was unremarkable. Mud and rocks. Liz Parker had been found like a piece of trash left behind.

Maria looked at the ground and fought back tears for her dead friend. She shook her head and put her determined face back on. "What do you think you're going to find here?" She directed the question at Michael.

He shrugged then met her gaze. "Nothing. I just wanted to see it. I had to see it. He didn't leave anything behind, he never does."

She nodded and somehow understood. She watched the Agent as he looked around the area where Liz's dead body had been found. She saw the grit of his demeanor, the passion he had in finding this killer. She sensed there was more to this that what he was telling them; it only made sense. If there was a serial killer traipsing around the country killing young women, why was he here alone? Why wasn't there a huge task force helping track this sick psycho down? She crossed her arms over her chest as the next breeze blew in and added something to her itinerary.  Number one: find this son-of-a-bitch. Number two: find out what makes FBI Agent Michael Guerin tick.
*       *         *

Chapter Six

"Someone's coming." Michael looked in the direction of the 4X4. Maria and Kyle both turned and recognized the figure instantly.

"Damn, it's Max." Kyle stepped away from Maria and Michael and ran up the rocky bank ducking under the crime scene tape.

Maria and Michael watched as Kyle seemed to be pushing Max away from the tape.

"The boyfriend?" Michael asked. Even from the distance he knew the look. Once upon a time he had seen the same one in a mirror.

"Actually, the fiancé." Maria shook her head. She hadn't even known they were engaged until Kyle had told her. "Max Evans. Your staying at his sister and brother-in-law's B&B."

"Right, Isabel." Michael smiled remembering her sarcasm. He watched as Kyle led the slumping body of a broken heart back to his car. "They been together long?"

"High school," Maria smiled thinking about their high school days. The days when her and Liz had no secrets between them and they thought they'd grow old together. "It's always been Max and Liz. And now…" She turned away not wanting to let this relative stranger see her grieve. There would be time for grieving later. Now was the time to find this asshole. "So, get a feel for anything?"

Michael shook his head and looked at her. He could see the pain in her eyes. The only thing Michael was getting a feel for was the new deputy, Maria. "You were good friends?"

"Used to be the best. Then we drifted as friends often do…"

"And now you feel guilty."

She nodded and looked at him. The dying sky combined with the sliver of moon above them forced her to notice the highlights in his hair and the curve of his strong jaw line. The way his T-shirt was tucked into those jeans. The hem of denim hitting the cuff of leather boots. He stood with one foot on top of a rock, his hands on his hips and sorrow in his eyes.

"It'll pass Maria," he really hoped it would for her. "Don't feel guilty; there was nothing you could say or do to stop this from happening to Liz. I've dealt with the grieving friends for the others and they're all just like you-"

"No, they're not." She interrupted and put her hands on her hips. "They're not like me at all. I'm not going to stand around and feel guilty; hell, I can barely cry. I'm so angry and I'm going to do whatever it takes to nail this murdering bastard!"

"Do you mean it?" He asked cautiously. He'd heard similar vows from other law enforcement across the country, but after awhile with no new leads and the inevitable cold case, they gave up. Everyone except Michael Guerin gave up. He saw something in Maria that told him she might not give up as easily as the others did.

"Yeah, I mean it. We'll find him, Agent Guerin, before he kills again." She watched as Kyle walked back towards them, his hands in his pockets. "Kyle said I'm to help you and that's what I plan on doing. I want to start at the beginning and see if I can find something that you missed. I'm not saying you didn't do everything you could, but this is all you've done for two years, right?" He nodded and she went on barely taking time out for a breath. "Why isn't anyone else helping you? Why aren't there tons of Feds down here taking Roswell over trying to figure out who killed Liz? What is going on with this so-called serial killer? Where's the proof? How can you prove to me what you're saying Agent Guerin?"

Michael stared at her and tried desperately not to smile. Valenti joined them and looked back and forth between them. "Did she just get done with a rant?" Kyle asked and ignored the glare from Maria.

"A reasonable one," Michael smiled quickly towards the fair-haired ranter. "You were right, she is good." He turned his attention solely on Maria. "Tomorrow, we start and I'll take you on a guided tour of my own personal hell. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a date," she thought she might have blushed but was suddenly thankful for the cover of the deep dusk that was enveloping them. "Why was Max here?" She turned her gaze to Kyle and detected something was off. Kyle Valenti was not happy with something. Maria figured it was her and let it go. He'd get over it, whatever it was, men always did.

"He's hurting," Kyle said slowly. "He wanted to see where she was found. Thank God I didn't have to make him or her parents identify her."

"Who did?" Michael asked his interest piqued.

"I did, when I was called out here." Kyle held out his hand to Maria. "If you're done Agent, I'd like to get home tonight. It's been a real shitty day."

Michael nodded and followed in back of the seemingly happy couple. He tried to avert his eyes away from the jasmine smelling Maria but found it impossible. His vision broke at the handholding and went back down her legs. Hair on the back of neck stood at attention, but it wasn't for the regular reasons. For the first time since Lorelei, Agent Michael Guerin was finding himself attracted to a woman.

And it had to be the Sheriff's woman, he thought and sighed. He followed them to the 4X4 and watched Maria as she got in the backseat. He got in the front seat and hoped she'd lean over the seat like she had on the way there. He was in luck, within seconds of Kyle starting the engine; Maria's elbows were propped up on the front seats.

"So, are you going to let me sift through everything Agent, or are you going to hold things back and let me make an ass out of myself?" She asked leaning in a little closer to him.

He opened his mouth to speak but the scent of her got to him first. He closed his eyes and weighed his words. "I won't hold anything back."

Maria cocked her head to the side and thought that there was too much underlying in that sentence. She cast a quick glance at Kyle and noticed he thought so too.

"I'll show you everything I have on him," Michael cleared his throat. "Will we have a place to work out of or should we work out of the B&B?"

"I have a room for you at the station," Kyle snapped. "There's an empty room down the hall from my office, you can use that."

"The war room," Maria said softly imagining the way the rooms were always described in books and seen in movies. Dry-erase boards, maps, pictures of the victims, computers and phones. A picture of Liz lying dead on the rocky bank of Blackwater Draw. "Thank you Kyle."

He nodded and caught her eye in the rearview mirror. "You're welcome." The tone wasn't as nice as it could have been but Maria attributed it to the stress of the day.

They drove back through town and Michael looked out the window. Roswell New Mexico didn't seem any different that any of the other towns he'd been in except for one thing. It wasn't a thing, it was a person, and the person was Maria DeLuca.

"Shall I meet you at the station in the morning, Maria?" Michael asked turning around in his seat to face her. He looked at her wide eyes and flawless pale skin, the way she tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Yes, Agent Guerin. I'll be there bright and early and anxious to get started on this."

"Could you do me a favor?" He asked while a grin played across his full lips.

Maria nodded and bit her bottom lip. "What?"

"Could you call me Michael?"


*        *         *

Kyle Valenti dropped Michael off in the parking lot of the station and then escorted Maria to her car. He kissed her and watched her pull out of the lot before following her home. He parked the 4X4 in back of her Miata and got out. She was waiting for him at the door.

"What's up?" He asked cautiously as he approached her.

"It's been a long day, Kyle," she reached for his hand. "I just want to go to bed and wake up and this all be a dream."

"I wish it was sweetie," he led her inside and pulled her close against him. He thought he might have felt some hesitation; but it had been a hard day. Neither of them were acting like themselves. "Why don't you take a hot bath and go to bed. You might feel a little better afterwards."

"I won't feel better until I know who killed Liz," she faced her boyfriend as a tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away hastily and it wasn't replaced. "Do you think we'll find him? Michael's been following him for two years."

"Michael never had someone like you willing to give it your all to help." Kyle kissed her cheek. "I love you Maria, okay? You're going to be a kick-ass deputy and Agent Guerin is lucky to have you working with him."

Maria nodded and pulled away from him. She walked down the short hallway unbuttoning her shirt. She unpinned her badge and carried it in her palm into the bathroom. She set it on the vanity and smiled then looked in the mirror and gasped. Her eyes were red rimmed with dark circles underneath and she thought she looked washed out.

She stripped down and ran the bath water while sitting on the cool porcelain of the tub. Her mind wandered through the day's events. The knowledge that she'd never be able to reconnect with Liz was the most overpowering. The renewed friendship she had wanted to have with her was nothing but a distant memory now. Maria felt she owed it to Liz and she didn't go back on her debts.

As she slid into the water her thoughts turned to Agent Michael Guerin in his jeans and boots and she shivered under the blanket of warm water. She shook her head and promised herself that the mild physical attraction would pass. He was just something new, something unexpected. Something...Mysterious. She smiled and dunked her head under the water.

*        *         *

Michael walked into the B&B and went straight to his room. He heard talking from the kitchen, but he wasn't in the mood for company. He pushed the door to his room open and his heart nearly seized. On the floor in front of the door was a plain white envelope with his name on it.  A post-it was stuck to the front. He picked it up and read the post-it first: Mr. Guerin, this was in the mailbox for you. Isabel.

He slid the red paper out and took a deep breath before reading.

Agent Guerin.

Wasting your time
Do my eyes deceive?
Playing in forbidden forest
No time to grieve

I thought you were smart
But you proved me wrong
I thought you've have found me
You can see I'm not gone

Tick tock Agent Guerin find your man
Tick tock Agent Guerin I don't think you can

Michael took a deep breath and released it slowly. He put the letter with the rest and stripped down to his boxers. He slid underneath the coolness of the quilt. He couldn't remember the last time he had gone to bed before midnight and now it was barely full dark. He couldn't remember the last time he had laid in bed and thought about a woman who wasn't dead.

*          *           *

Chapter Seven

Kyle waited patiently for Maria's return from her well-deserved bath. He ran his hands through his hair as he paced the bedroom in blue striped pajama bottoms. His thoughts lingered on the deputizing of Maria. She was bright and she'd make a hell of a good deputy; hell, she'd make a good sheriff. Kyle laughed to himself and wondered if he should worry about his job.

He walked around the side of the queen-sized bed and pulled down the floral print comforter. He sighed and sat on the edge of the mattress. It had been a very long day. His friend was dead. A girl he had dated in high school was dead. Dead by the hands of a serial killer. He shook his head and began to pace again. Kyle Valenti was never much of a pacer before but now it seemed like the only thing he could do. There was so much going on and none of it was good. There was a serial killer running loose in Roswell.

Now there was this Fed to work with. Kyle had some misgivings about Agent Michael Guerin; but he couldn't quite put his finger on exactly what it was. He knew for a fact that he didn't like the way that he looked at Maria. He knew she'd tell him he had 'jealous boyfriend syndrome' and laugh it off. Kyle acknowledged the fact that she was probably right. Maria was his girlfriend. They had come together at a time when they each felt they had no one. Kyle still thought of her as the sister she almost was to him sometimes, but he pushed past that for obvious reasons. He knew he was lucky to have her love him; he knew he was lucky to even have her in his life.

The click of the bathroom door opening caused him to turn around quickly and even reach for his nonexistent gun. He let out a deep breath at the vision in front of him. Maria stood in the doorway, a towel around her, her wet hair combed straight and dripping onto her shoulders. Her hands were on her hips and a playful smile on her lips.

"Whatcha going to do Sheriff Valenti? Shoot me with your finger?"

Kyle laughed and felt some of his tension slide away. "I was in my own world, sorry." He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He felt the tension rush through her and closed his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong Kyle," She pushed away from him. "There is nothing right about anything anymore."

Kyle took a deep breath and nodded. "I know…"

She shook her head and walked to the bureau. She rummaged through the top drawer and pulled put a black slip nightgown. She dropped the towel and slid the silky material over her head before she turned back to face Kyle.  "I can't believe this is happening. It all seems so surreal. I mean, a few days ago Liz was living her happy Liz-life and apparently engaged to her high school sweetheart and all was good in Roswell. And now, she's lying dead on a table. Cold. Alone. Gone."

"I know…"

"Yeah, that's about all I can think of to say too. I know." She laughed bitterly. "It was Liz Parker, Kyle! Liz. God, she is, no, she was the most innocent person in the world. Never liked confrontation, never liked arguments and never liked anything bad. God, why her? Why'd he kill her?" Maria's voice had been steadily rising and Kyle stepped to her and took her in his arms.

"It's not fair." He whispered in her ear.

"Damn straight it's not fair!" Maria pushed away from him again. "I'll find out what happened to her, Kyle, you know I will. I don't care if I have to pull Mr. Agent Man around this town by a fucking leash. If he can't hold up his end of the investigation, I'll drop him like yesterday's news. He may be with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, but this is my town and Liz was my friend!"

Kyle felt the smile coming and tried to hide it. He wasn't laughing at her; he was smiling because this was the Maria that he had fallen in love with. The one who didn't take 'no' for an answer. The one he admired. At that precise moment he knew Maria DeLuca would find out who killed Liz Parker and the others; there was not a doubt in his mind.

He led her by the hand towards the bed and pushed her back gently on the mattress. He noticed the apprehension lines cross through her flawless face and recognized the look. Not tonight. Kyle damned himself for even thinking of the possibility. He looked apologetically at her.

"Maria…"

"I can't, okay?" She slid underneath the blankets and pulled them up under her chin. "That is the last thing on my mind tonight. I couldn't even…God! I can't get any of this out of my head. All I can see in my mind is Liz."

Kyle nodded and got into bed next to her. "I know sweetheart." He wrapped an arm around her and she rested her head on his chest. He felt the rivulets of water from her hair trickle down his side. He shivered and wondered if the coldness from her hair was a foreshadow of the future. It wasn't like him to think so abstract and that bothered him. There had never been anything cold between them; but the iciness that was coursing through him right now made him think that all could change in an instant.

Without missing a beat he thought about Agent Guerin and wondered.

*        *         *

Michael Guerin woke up in a sweat a little past two in the morning. He threw the quilt off of him and sat up running his hands though his damp hair. He took a few deep breaths and tried to control his racing heart.

[i]Wasting your time
Do my eyes deceive?
Playing in forbidden forest
No time to grieve[/i]

Michael turned on the bedside lamp and closed his eyes. Forbidden forest. Forbidden forest. No time to grieve. He shook his head and tried to make sense of the last letter. It had come closer to the murder than the other ones had. He wondered if his killer was nearing a turning point or possibly an end. All the taunting over the last two years had driven Michael's self-esteem down to sometimes barely existent. He was always one step ahead of Michael. He knew his every move and banked on them. The killer seemed to be inside of Michael's own psyche at some points.  

Forbidden forest. Michael got out of bed and slipped on the jeans from earlier. He put his boots back on and sat on the edge of the bed. Forbidden forest. Michael shook his head. Forest. There had been no forest tonight; there was no forest in Roswell. He had been on the rocky bank of Blackwater Draw with Sheriff Kyle Valenti and new Deputy Maria DeLuca. Maria. Forbidden? Michael shook his head and knew then that he was trying to make the letter fit into the program. There was nothing forbidden about finding Maria attractive. And even if there was, how in the fuck could this killer read Michael's mind?

Wasting your time. Michael stood and looked in the mirror over the dresser. He met his eyes and wondered what to do next. Wasting your time. Michael didn't know if he was wasting his time by looking at the crime scene, he had already known there wouldn't be anything there. Wasting his time in Roswell? Should he pack up and stay mobile for the next kill? Was it almost over? Would there be another kill?

[i]Tick tock Agent Guerin find your man
Tick tock Agent Guerin I don't think you can [/i]

Tick tock. Time's running out. Michael swore and walked from his room. He crept down the steps towards the front door thinking a walk might be the answer, when he heard rustling and a woman swearing coming from the kitchen. He pushed the swinging door in and saw his hostess, Isabel Whitman, cleaning up spilled coffee on the kitchen table.

"Hi," he said quietly and cringed when he still elicited a startled yelp from her. "Sorry." He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a towel to help her clean up the mess.

Isabel smiled at him. "I couldn't sleep." >
Michael nodded. "I woke up."

"Coffee?" She offered and Michael nodded taking a seat at the table. He became very aware of his near nakedness, but he imagined Isabel had other things on her mind besides his lack of table manners. She poured him a cup and set it down in front of him then sat down across the table. "So, you're here to find out who killed Liz."

Michael nodded and sipped the coffee. There was a slight hazelnut aftertaste. "Yes."

"She was going to get married to my brother," Isabel looked at him through bloodshot eyes and tear soaked lashes. "There's no one that would want to kill Liz. Everyone loved Liz." She smiled. "Was this random?"

Michael weighed her question and thought about the truth and the lies. Random? Sure, it was kind of random. There was some type of method to the killer's madness; Michael just couldn't figure it out yet. "I don't know for sure." He ran his hands through his hair. "If you can think of anything…"

"You'll be the first to know," Isabel smiled. "Will you be working with Kyle on this or do you have more FBI guys in the shadows?"

Michael pursed his lips into a smile. Small town means gossip travels fast. "Actually, I believe I'll be working with his deputy, Maria."

"Maria!" Isabel nearly spit out a mouthful of coffee. "A deputy?"

Michael nodded and couldn't help smiling back at Isabel's incredulous expression. "She was deputized today…"

Isabel nodded. "Good. She's very bright Agent Guerin."

Michael nodded and sipped his coffee. He knew she was bright. He also knew she was beautiful.

*        *         *

She felt his hand on her bare breasts. Manicured fingers toying with her taught nipples. Her back arched towards him, one of his hands sliding underneath the small of her back pulling her closer to him. His smooth chest pressed against hers, crushing her breasts. She licked her lips and watched as he mirrored her movements.

She felt her legs being spread apart and a sensation of something new and mystifying course through her. Unfamiliar hands prying her apart and sliding inside. Tracing places on her that not many had before. She arched her back further and felt his mouth on her neck, full lips suckling the tenderness of soft skin while his fingers dove deeper inside of her.

She smiled at him and pushed the hair out of his eyes. The pain was next, she looked around and saw and felt the rocks underneath them. The bank of Blackwater Draw. The crime scene tape was above them flapping in the sudden breeze. She looked to him and he was hovering above her, smiling. She reached for him and then he was gone, leaving her naked, alone and in the exact same place as Liz Parker's body had been found.

Maria sat up with her eyes wide and looked to the sleeping figure of Kyle next to her and let out a deep breath. She pushed the overheating blankets off of her and laid back down wondering why in the hell she was having sexual dreams about Agent Michael Guerin. She turned away from Kyle and smiled.

*        *          *

Chapter Eight


Maria DeLuca was up before dawn. Images from her dreams about Agent Guerin were pushed severely back in her mind. It was just a dream, she told herself that over and over while getting dressed. She dressed in jeans, boots and a T-shirt with a denim long sleeve shirt tied around her waist. She then woke Kyle up with a kiss to the forehead.

"Time?" He mumbled without opening his eyes.

"Five-thirty."

He mumbled something unintelligible and flung the blankets off. "Why so early?"

"Two reasons," she sat next to him and ran her hand over his naked chest. "First because you're issuing me a gun today, yea! Secondly, I want to get a jump on setting up the war room."

"The war room," he repeated and yawned. "Are you really going to call it that?"

"Well, yeah," she raised her eyebrows. "That's what it is, right? Isn't that what they're always called in the books and movies?"

"I guess, but there's only going to be the two of you working on this. It's hardly a war room, more like half a street-gang room."

She rolled her eyes and then it dawned on her exactly what he had said. "You're not going to be there?" She asked as something electric shot through her system. "You are the sheriff."

"And you are the deputy, which means I tell you what to do and you do it." He smiled. "You and the Fed are working on this. You'll give it everything you have and I'll keep the streets of Roswell safe from harm."

Maria nodded and absently wondered how Agent Guerin would be dressed for their first investigation related meeting. Not that it mattered. She cursed herself for even thinking about Michael Guerin while she was sitting on the bed she shared with her boyfriend. She felt like a betrayer; but the only betrayer was the Maria from her dreams. So far.

She watched as Kyle got out of bed, backed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She stood in front of the mirror and checked her eye makeup again. She normally didn't wear eye makeup to work, but today was different. Today she was going to be working side by side with Agent Michael Guerin. Man of mystery.

After tucking every last hair into place she wandered to the living room and then outside for the paper. The headline announcing Liz's death glared at her. She felt sick, having almost forgotten the reason for all the recent events and encounters. Liz was dead. She bit back angry tears and vowed to herself that she wouldn't let this cowardly killer get the best of her.

She ambled back in the house and threw the paper away. Kyle joined her in the kitchen in uniform with wet hair. "So, you're not going to even wear a uniform shirt at least anymore?"

Maria shrugged. "I look horrible in the uniforms, you now that. I thought that now I was some big heap deputy working on the big case I could slide on the uniform rules."

"You always slide on the uniform rules," he laughed and turned on the coffee maker. "You slide on all the rules."

She smiled over her shoulder at him and saw him for the Kyle he used to be. Not the Kyle she shared a home and bed with. Not the Kyle she told she loved everyday. The Kyle she knew in high school. The son of her mother's boyfriend. The almost brother-figure. The chill of distance swept through her so quickly and so coldly she rubbed her arms to ward off the goosebumps.

"So, you ready to go?" She asked still rubbing her bare arms.

"I just turned on the coffee maker," Kyle nodded towards it and then sighed and flipped it off. "I know you're anxious, but it's going to be a hard day." He took a deep breath. "Liz's body. Today."

Maria nodded; she had forgotten. In all the confusion, excitement and wonder of the day before her she had forgotten about seeing her dead friends body. "Oh. Shit. Will you be there?"

Kyle nodded and outstretched his arms to her, enveloping her when she came to him. "I'll be there. You don't have to go…"

"Yeah, I do." She broke away and grabbed her purse. "C'mon, let's get going and get this over with. Agent Michael will be there soon, I'm sure." She walked out the front door and got in the front seat of the 4X4 before she realized she called him Agent Michael. She giggled to herself before Kyle got in the vehicle.

*        *         *

Michael Guerin paced the hallway outside of the Sheriff's office. He had been there for almost an hour. After his late night conversation with Isabel Whitman, he had stayed up and went through his case notes, again. He mused with the idea that Maria had put in his head that he had missed something. There was nothing to miss. There was nothing. He didn't know much about Elizabeth Parker yet, but he was confident it would be the same as the others, no link.

His brow furrowed as he remembered something about victim number four, her name was Betsey Randolph. Betsey was short for Elizabeth. A link or a stretch? He shook his head and was pretty confident it was a stretch. Betsey Randolph never went by Elizabeth and apparently Elizabeth Parker always went by Liz. Coincidence? He nodded to himself; the world was full of coincidences.

Michael stood facing the wall when he heard footsteps. At the same time he smelled jasmine. Maria. He turned around smiling, his smile dropped at the image of Maria and the Sheriff holding hands.

"Good morning," he said politely as the jasmine neared him. He inhaled deeply and wondered if she always smelled like jasmine. He almost liked to think it was just for him.

"Not really," Maria snipped at him. "I have to go see my dead friend. Nothing good about that, is there?" She turned from him wondering why she was being such a bitch. Technically he had done nothing to her to make her snap at him. A simple good morning was all he offered. "Sorry."

Michael nodded at her and felt her pain. It was never a good morning when you had to visit the dead.

The trio walked from the station and piled into the 4X4. Michael waited patiently for Maria to lean over the seat as before so he could smell her and then chastised himself for the thoughts. There was too much working against him. Maria was the sheriff's girlfriend. Her friend was just killed. She wouldn't want him.

"Did you bring your files?" Maria leaned over the seat and noticed as Michael closed his eyes. "Hello?"

"I brought the files. They're at the station." He opened his eyes and looked at her. He felt a sharp intake of breath as he met her gaze. "For you."

Maria nodded and slid back into the backseat. The short drive to the medical examiner's office seemed to take forever. Maria bit at her manicured nails; her thoughts trying to drift anywhere except on what she was about to see. Kyle pulled up in the driveway and they all walked inside. They were met by the ME's assistant, Larry, and led into a cold, sterile room. Two sides of the room were home to giant freezer doors. Cadaver freezers.  

Maria's knees felt weak and she reached out trying to find Kyle's arm or support. Kyle took her by the elbow and steadied her after asking her if she wanted to wait outside. Maria declined and eventually was on her own by the time the ME came in.

Dr. Martin Gruff had been a senior in high school when Kyle and Maria were freshmen at West Roswell High; back then he was Marty Gruff. Sometimes he was Marty 'the crime dog' Gruff. He had been the county's ME for almost a year.

He nodded hellos to Kyle and Maria and was introduced to Agent Guerin with whom he shook hands.

"It's a real shame about Liz," Martin walked towards the freezer door. He opened the steel door and went inside. He vanished for a few seconds then returned pushing a gurney in front of him with the sheet covered body of Liz Parker on top. He pushed the gurney in front of the threesome and pulled the sheet back exposing Liz Parker's pretty dead face. He pointed to her neck as he spoke. "See the discoloring of the neck and her lower face? That's caused by the occluding of blood vessels. In other words, the scarf that was used, think of it as a stopper. The force of the ligature caused the blood vessels to congest. The bruising around her neck," he pointed to a dark purple bruise about the size of a quarter," like that one were caused by the perpetrator. Probably a thumb, in my opinion. He used force on her and that caused the fracturing of her hyoid bone."

"The what?" Kyle asked and then coughed nervously.

"The hyoid bone is a small bone at the base of the tongue, its also called thyroid cartilage. At first I assumed she had been in the water, but upon further examination, I believe she was just left by the water. There was no evidence of sand or weeds in her mouth or nose. She was left on the bank already dead."

"Twelve hours before she was found?" Agent Guerin asked staring at the dead woman's face.

"Right around twelve. I thought eight to twelve, but when we got back here she had total rigor mortis. Twelve hours, give or take a few minutes." Martin shrugged.

"Are you doing an autopsy?" Michael asked and heard the heavy breath of Maria beside him.

"No," Martin shook his head. "No reason too. The cause of death is obvious. Death by manual ligature strangulation. The family wants her body released as soon as possible so they can hold the funeral." He looked at Maria and cocked his head to one side. "You two were friends, right?"

Maria nodded slowly and looked at Liz's face. It wasn't Liz anymore. It was just a shell of what Liz used to be. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before turning on her heels and leaving the room.

"Thanks Marty," Kyle nodded at the ME. "Unless Agent Guerin has any reason, I don't see why you can't release the body to the family."

"Go ahead," Michael nodded and leaned in to Liz's lifeless face. "Don't worry Liz, you're one of mine now and I promise you I'll find the bastard. I don't care if it's the last thing I do," he whispered and then covered her face up with the sheet. "Release her. Let her family start with some closure."

*        *         *

Chapter Nine

Maria was leaning against the side of the building taking deep breaths when Kyle and Michael came back outside. She was fighting back the crying and it was killing her. The vision of her dead friend would haunt her until she took her own last breath.

"Sweetie," Kyle took her in his arms.

Michael watched with agony and a tinge of jealousy. He knew how hard it was to see someone you loved dead on a table; although he thought she was handling it better than could be expected. The jealousy came from watching Kyle wrap his arms around her body and hold her close. Watching her wrap her arms around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. He stood awkwardly and looked at his feet unable to face the couple in front of him.

"I have to go back in," Maria broke away from Kyle and looked at the door.

"For what?" Kyle asked wondering if she had forgotten anything.

"I have to tell Liz something." She cast her eyes in Michael's direction only for a moment. "I have to make her a promise."

"A promise…" Kyle said slowly knowing full well that the last thing Maria needed to do was to see Liz again. Not like that.

"I have to promise her I'll find out who did this to her and make him pay!" She stood up straight and put her hands on her hips.

"I already made that promise," Michael stepped towards her and spoke in softer tones. "I told her Maria. She knows it comes from you, that's not Liz in there. You don't have to see her that way again."

"But she…" Maria nodded and knew he was right. That wasn't Liz, Liz was gone. "Did you really tell her that?"

Michael nodded and smiled. Not a joyous one, but one that let her know he was telling the truth. He didn't think he'd ever be able to hide anything from Maria. From this woman he just met. This beautiful woman who smelled like jasmine.

"Thank you then Agent Michael," Maria blushed. "Sorry…"

"Agent Michael," he pursed his lips and ran a hand through his hair. "I kind of like it. It sounds like I should be on Sesame Street, but I like it."

"I am so sorry!" Maria giggled and it felt good. Anything beyond the stench of death was good. "Seriously thank you."

"She's one of mine now. Liz is," Michael exhaled and met her eyes. He had a moment where he was sure everything he was feeling was conveyed through his eyes so he quickly shut them.

"Ready to go set up the war room?" Maria asked and looked back and forth between the two men.

"The war room," Michael opened his eyes and smiled.

"Yes, the war room." She looked between the two men. "What is the problem with me calling it the war room?"

"It just sounds like this should be a big operation and it's not. It's the two of you," Kyle slid sunglasses on and watched the pair in front of him hidden behind the dark lenses.

"Why is it like that Michael?" Maria swung around to face him. "Why aren't there more agents down here if you're pursuing a serial killer. Why is it just you?"

"Because it has to be only me," Michael took a deep breath and wished he'd thought to bring sunglasses. "That's part of the rules."

"Rules?" Maria repeated and looked at Kyle for help. Kyle shrugged and they both waited for Agent Guerin to continue.

"That's the way he wants it. If I don't play by the rules it'll be worse." Michael ran a hand through his hair. "The Bureau can't be involved except for me. If anyone helps, they have to be local law enforcement."

"How do you know? Did he call you and tell you?" Maria held her hands out in front of her.

Michael shook his head and wondered why none of the other officials from other towns ever asked. "He wrote me a letter." He nodded, there, he did it. He told them about the letters, well, one letter.

"Can I read it?" Maria asked and stepped closer to him. "Will it be in the file?"

Michael nodded and wished she wasn't so close. The smell of jasmine was overloading his senses. He knew he couldn't be thinking about Maria the way he was but there was something about her.

"Let's go, I wanna get this set up so I can read the letter and review your files. Has he been profiled?"

Michael nodded again and knew if anyone could help track down this bastard that it was Maria DeLuca.  

"Good, let's go Kyle." She looked to her boyfriend and wished he'd take off the sunglasses, the sun was barely up. She didn't like not seeing the eyes of the person she was talking to. Too much was said with the eyes. She walked to the 4X4 and got in the backseat; the men followed.

As they arrived at the station Kyle was called away on a breaking and entering leaving Maria and Michael alone in the empty room close to Kyle's office. The room wasn't much. Four blank walls, two tables and a computer. Maria smiled knowing Kyle must have had the computer brought it for her and the room cleaned out; normally the room was a catchall for unused furniture.

"So this is the war room," Michael hid a smile and sauntered around nodding. "This is great."

"It will be fine," Maria spun around and saw the room how she wanted it to be. She saw maps and pictures on the walls, a bank of phones, files scattered around one of the tables and her and Michael in the thick of it. Together. Staying up all night reviewing and trying to find a connection to the victims. Staying up all night eating take-out. Staying up all night. Period. "Where's the stuff? Your stuff."

"My car," he jingled keys. He turned and walked out of the room and was surprised to hear footsteps behind him. He turned around as Maria slammed into him. "I'm sorry!"

"Oh God," she laughed.

Her laugh. She had a beautiful laugh. Michael knew she would have to have a beautiful laugh to go along with the rest of her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled. "We have to quit running into each other like this. I was coming to help you, you have more than a little box, right?"

"I do," he turned away while a smile danced on his full lips. "C'mon, I'll let you carry the light stuff."

Maria followed him to the sedan outside and stood next to him as he opened the trunk. "Holy shit, that's a lot crammed in there."

"I didn't take it all out at the B&B, this is how I travel."

"From town to town."

"From victim to victim."

Maria nodded and reached for a box. She stacked a few folders on top of it and made her way back inside. Michael carried a laptop and a few boxes and followed her. He was slightly upset that she was already inside the building by the time he started to follow. Watching Maria walk up the steps was sounding like a very good idea.

A few more trips outside by each and the war room was beginning to resemble its namesake. Maria went to work organizing and plugging in the three laptops Michael had brought in. She left the boxes that had the word 'victims' in black marker on them. She had a feeling those were the ones that Michael would want to handle first. They were his.

After a little over an hour of setting up Maria stood back and clapped. The room was how she pictured it. After hauling in a couple dry erase boards and with Michael's help, hanging them on the walls, Maria was ready to begin her investigation. Her investigation into the murders and into Michael Guerin.

"So, what now?" She asked Michael. "I don't know where to start."

"Here," he tapped a box in front of him. He pulled out a rolled map of the United States and thumbtacked it to one of the still bare walls. "A map of the crimes."

Maria studied the map. Eleven states and eleven dead women. She shivered and rubbed her bare arms. "They're all so spread out. He wasn't even traveling in any kind of order."

"I know," Michael ran a hand through his hair and caught Maria watching him.
"What?"

"Are you going to do that all the time?" She mimicked his habit.

"Sorry," a sideways smile played on his lips. "I'll try to stop."

She nodded and went back to the map. Michael stepped closer to her and inhaled her scent. The scent he hoped he'd be able to remember when he left her. A scent he was falling for.

"Okay, so, let me see your stuff." Maria nodded towards the 'victims' boxes. "Start with number one and let me see them. I want to know them as you do."

You'll never know them as well as I do, he thought as he took the top of the first box. He pulled a file out and set it on the table in front of the fair-haired woman who smelled like jasmine. This was the thickest of the folders and the one that Michael dreaded the most. This was Lorelei Govern.

"Lorelei, pretty name." Maria traced the name with her finger and opened the folder. The first thing she saw was a beautiful woman with chestnut colored hair staring back at her. "She was beautiful…"

Michael nodded and tried to forget the way he told Lorelei that daily. He tried to forget that he had been in love with her. He tried to forget the pain. He watched as Maria drank in the image of Lorelei. Two women so different they could have been from different worlds. Two women that Michael Guerin had fallen for.

Maria read the case notes and started to jot down questions on the legal pad next to her. Michael smiled and couldn't wait to hear what she would ask. He briefly thought about telling her about his relationship with Lorelei; then decided against it. Not now. It was too soon.

Maria spent the next few hours on Lorelei and planned on spending several more. She wanted to know them as Michael had. She wanted to know everything about them. The only one she wouldn't have to learn about was Liz. All of this was for Liz.

The page in Maria's hand slipped through her finger and both of them reached for it. They missed the page and got each other. Fingers interlocking, their eyes met and something new was being formed.

*        *         *

Kyle Valenti had been watching through the cracked open door for a few minutes when he saw the interchange between the Fed and his girlfriend. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.

"Not like this, Valenti." He whispered to himself as he walked towards his office. "Not like this."

*        *         *

Chapter Ten

"Sorry," Maria drew her hand back and prayed she wasn't blushing. She picked the paper up from the floor and counted to three before she looked up again. Michael had turned away from her and was running his hands through his hair. She watched as his shoulders went up and down. She smiled knowing he was taking long breaths. She sat at the table and fingered the paper in her hand; the one that had fallen to the floor.  A few words at the bottom caught her eye and then they caught her breath.

[i]The v. Lorelei Govern was discovered by her live-in boyfriend, FBI agent Michael Guerin of the Seattle office.[/i]

Maria read it over and over. Scribbled at the bottom on the back of the page of crime scene data, almost as an afterthought. Michael Guerin had been the first victim's boyfriend. She got chills and looked at the back of a man she barely knew at all and now felt like she knew him less than that.

"She was your girlfriend." Maria said quietly and saw the rising shoulder's tense.
"Why didn't you tell me."

"I would have," he said softly towards the wall. "I was going to."

"When?" She stood and walked around to face him. "When were you going to lay that little bit of information down? Why the secrecy?"

Michael met her eyes and shook his head, but he was unable to break her gaze. He didn't see anything but sympathy in her eyes and it made his knees weak. The thoughts of finally having someone to share his grief with were torn. He wanted to unload on her and tell her all the things he's gone through thinking of Lorelei over the last two years. On the other hand he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. He wanted to tell her thank you for stepping into his life. He wanted to hug her and tell her he hasn't felt this alive since Lorelei.

"Michael?"

"I was going to tell you tonight after you got done reading about her," he motioned to the paper in her hand. "I forgot about the note on the back," he shook his head. "No one else has read all of this with as much attentiveness as you."

"Yeah, well, I'm an attentive kind of girl." Maria smiled. "So, why didn't you tell me?"

"I haven't told anyone. Not after Lorelei's murder." Michael took a deep breath. "All the agents I worked with knew of course and so did the task force set up afterwards, but no one else. Not until you."
>Maria swallowed hard. They did have something in common. Two people they loved were murdered by the same bastard. "I'm sorry." She said quietly.

"Don't be sorry," his face relaxed into a slight smile. "I'm glad I can finally tell someone. Well, that someone found out."

"This is why it's you? Because of Lorelei? Because she was the first?" Maria wanted to ask a million questions at once but thought three was sufficient for now.

He nodded and exhaled deeply. "I received a letter right after she was killed."

"The one telling you the rules?"

"No," he shook his head. "One that was personally to me. It arrived at the hotel I was staying at, I couldn't stay… " He walked to the table and looked inside a box. He pulled out the mailing envelope that he kept all the letters in. He slid his hand in and pulled out the first one on top. That one was always on top. He hesitated, then handed it to her but didn't let go. He met her eyes; "you're the only other person to read it besides me." He let go and rested his backside against the table.

Maria held the letter in her hand and studied the writing on the envelope. She fought off the shivers and eventually slid the letter out. She read the words that had haunted Michael for two years.

Agent Guerin.

She was an angel
Tried and true
You lost her to the devil
Now what to do?

More will follow
Is that a dare?
How will I vanish?
Into thin air.

Agent Guerin can you find me?
Agent Guerin can you care?

She read it through several times before the inevitable goosebumps appeared on her arms. "He knew her." She didn't ask, she stated.

"I think so," Michael nodded and felt a prickle of excitement.

"He did," she nodded in complete agreement with herself. "Was she an angel?"

"She was," Michael knew he had that misty-eyed look people got when they talked about past loves. "She was an absolute angel." He shook his head slightly knowing he was speaking the truth, Lorelei Govern was indeed an angel, now.

"He was baiting you, with this letter, he said 'more will follow'. He knew damn well more would follow." Maria shook the letter. "He said he's going to vanish into thin air. 'Agent Guerin can you care?' I think he was asking you if you could care about anything after Lorelei." Maria was glad that bit was in the letter. Now that she knew more about the man in front of her, she was curious about that too. Was he able to care about anyone or anything after what happened to Lorelei?

"I can care," Michael slid his hands into his pockets and bowed his head. He looked at Maria through the tops of his eyes. "I do care, Maria."

"Good." She tried to smile and thought she succeeded. "Now show me what else you have. Is that envelope full of letters? Does he stay in contact with you?" She asked as the realization dawned on her. "Holy shit! He does."

Michael nodded. "He sends me letters. After each murder, always. Some more come in-between."

Maria put her hand to her mouth. "May I…?"

"After you meet them," he nodded to the victim boxes. "After you meet them, then we'll go over the letters. One at a time. I want you to know them as well as I do. Maybe you really can see something that I couldn't." He shrugged.

Maria relented. "May I see the one with the rules?"

Michael nodded and smiled and reached back in the mailing envelope. It was second on the pile. Michael thought how sometimes he couldn't find two socks that matched but here he kept the letters in chronological order. A memorized order. He handed it to her and took the first one back. He didn't read it this time. He wasn't feeling the urge like he had so many times before. He didn't have to.

Maria read the letter, her brow furrowed.

Agent Guerin.

Stay alone on your venture
Blood on your hands
More is now promised
Meet my demands.

Locals can help
But they won't succeed
You've already lost
The one that you need.

Agent Guerin make this your mission.
Agent Guerin do it alone.

"Wow, these are rules to follow." Maria shook her head and handed him back the letter. "Have you done what he told you? Local help only?"

"Ever since Lorelei." Michael cocked his head to one side as he was slammed with an epiphany. That was the first time he had said her name and not felt the deep down sting of pain. There was still pain but somehow in the last few minutes Lorelei Govern had slid from deceased girlfriend, love of his life, to victim number one. Michael Guerin actually felt like he was getting past the heartache. He sensed Maria DeLuca was the force behind the epiphany and yet, she was unavailable.

"Maria?" Kyle's voice from the doorway caused both Michael and Maria to jump. "You about ready to wrap this up tonight?"

"Uh…" Maria stuttered and looked to Michael for help. He nodded at her. "I guess so."

"Liz's funeral is tomorrow afternoon, Isabel just called." Kyle ambled into the room and looked around. "You really did make this into a war room, didn't you?"

"Pretty much," Maria walked over to him and hugged him. "Thanks for your help."

He kissed the corner of her mouth and made sure Michael was watching. "No problem." He pointed to an empty spot on the wall. "You know you left some room over there."

"That's for the pictures of the victims." Maria said dully. "They'll each have their own spot."

Kyle nodded and took Maria's hand. "Guerin, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Michael nodded and watched as Kyle led Maria from the room. He didn't know if he had a longing expression as he watched them walk away; he hoped the smile was more evident when he saw Maria smile over her shoulder at him.

*        *       ;  *

She lathered her chest and tried to put the day's events behind her. She realized she had said almost the same thing the night before and hoped it wasn't going to start to be a habit.

The heat from the shower felt wonderful on her skin. The suds from the smelly tea tree body wash almost delivered what it promised: peace. She inhaled the aroma and her thoughts drifted to Michael Guerin. His girlfriend was the first one killed by the maniac she was going to catch. He was so deep in this she didn't think he would ever be able to come up for air. She had caught on to the way he talked about Lorelei and was almost jealous.

A hand on her shoulder made her shout. She swung around as Kyle was stepping over into the bathtub. She instinctively covered herself. "What are you doing?"

"I thought we might conserve water," he smiled wickedly and reached for her pulling her wet lathered body against his barely damp one. He leaned into her and kissed her prying her mouth open with his tongue. He felt the hesitation but tried to ignore it. He couldn't ignore it any longer when the hesitation turned into hands pushing him away. "What's wrong?"

"Kyle…I just don't feel right about this." She shrugged. "I mean, all this bad going on and I don't know if I can feel happy about anything right now."

"Maria…"

"I'm sorry Kyle, Liz is getting buried tomorrow. My friend is going to be put in the ground forever. Having sex with you in the shower is not a high priority for me right now, I'm sorry." She tried to relay her sincere regret but wondered if the truth of uncertainty was shining through.

Kyle nodded and backed away from her. She saw the rejection in his eyes and felt horrible. Kyle hadn't done anything wrong. None of this was his fault. She knew she was being stupid for having any type of feelings for this agent; but she felt like they had a connection. They shared something and it felt right. That wasn't Kyle's fault either. Kyle had always been there for her and now when he apparently needed her, she was refusing him.

"Kyle," she pulled the shower curtain open and watched the bathroom door close. "Damn it!"

Maria got out of the shower and towel dried her hair before walking into the bedroom. She tied a bath towel around her chest and turned off the light. Dropping the towel on the floor she slid under the blankets and curled her naked body against Kyle's. She kissed his shoulder but he didn't turn around to face her. She sighed and stayed where she was. The warmth of his body was what she thought she needed.

"I love you, Maria," he whispered and waited.

"I know." She whispered as unexpected sleep took her away.

*        *         *

Chapter Eleven

The morning brought an unprecedented chill with it. The sky was heavy with dark rain clouds and the air had a crispness to it that wasn't typical for Roswell New Mexico in May.

Maria stood on the front porch hugging herself looking at the sky. The threat of rain was evident. She knew why the unseasonable weather was here today of all days. Today Liz Parker, her friend, was going to be buried. They skies were going to cry for Liz today.

The funeral wasn't until the afternoon and Maria had wanted to get back to the war room early and work with Michael before she went. A phone call from Isabel Whitman changed her mind. She needed to be with her friends today. One of them was gone and now they needed each other. Although they had all gone their separate ways and didn't spend near as much time together as they used to, they were still friends and that was a commodity hard to come by.

"Are you better today?" Kyle asked stepping out on to the porch in back of her. He handed her a steaming cup of coffee turned beige from cream.

She nodded and faced him. "Sorry about last night."

"S'alright." He shrugged and tried to feign disinterest, but Maria knew him too well to believe it.

"Seriously," Maria took his hand. "I'm sorry. There's just too much going on right now and I have to prioritize. You made me a deputy so I could work on the case," she shivered. Liz was now just a case. "Liz. So I could find who did this to Liz and the others." She bit back the knowledge of Michael's relationship to Lorelei Govern; if that was told to her in confidence she wanted to keep it that way. Loyalties were being divided as she stood there holding onto Kyle's hand and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"I know," Kyle sighed. "But I feel like we've drifted so far apart in the last forty-eight hours. Maybe I'm just being selfish…"

Maria agreed with the last statement completely. "When this is over it'll be different Kyle, I promise."

He nodded and looked to the sky. He knew it would be different; but different didn't necessarily mean good. He left her on the porch and retreated back in the house.

"Damn it," she swore into her mug of coffee. She inhaled the rich aroma and then looked to the damning skies for answers. "Help me out here, okay?"

Without receiving an answer of thunder or lightening she went back inside and prepared her funeral clothes. She heard the shower running and thought about the man under the water. It was Kyle. Kyle Valenti. The man who loved her and took care of her. The man who would never hurt her. The man she thought she still loved. Maria knew she'd always love Kyle, but there were too many types of love to classify exactly how she felt.

She shook her head, not today. She didn't want to have any relationship quandaries to worry about today. Today wasn't her day. Today belonged to Liz. She laid out a black dress on the bed with black heels next to it. She listened to the shower as she dressed for a day of mourning. The dress was short and tight with a modest neckline. Black hose and heels finished it off. The shower had turned off while she was dressing but Kyle was still in the bathroom. She pulled her hair up into a loose French roll and put on simple silver earrings. She applied light lipstick and checked herself over in the mirror again.

"You look great," Kyle stepped from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, his wet deep brown hair was parted on the side and he had a clean shaven face. He surveyed his girlfriend and frowned. "I wish we were going out on the town instead of a funeral."

"Me too Kyle, me too." Maria faced him and touched his smooth cheek. The chills she used to get from touching him were all but a distant memory. They had shared so much together but she felt the distance of the last two days as well. She never wanted to break his heart, that would be breaking part of hers too, but she also knew she couldn't keep living the way they were. Soon, she promised herself. Maybe when Liz's murderer was brought to justice, then they could talk.

He nodded and stepped away from her. She watched him get dressed in suit pants and tie. She smiled at the clumsy way he tried to tie his tie in the mirror. She walked behind him and reached over his shoulders and took the silken fabric in her hands. He watched her tie his tie and turned his head to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks sweetie," he turned his body towards her and licked his lips inspecting the lipstick she had just applied to her own. He went for the corner of her mouth instead and felt a wave of relief rush through him when she kissed him back.

*        *         *

Maria and Kyle walked hand in hand into the Whitman's B&B. Isabel and Alex were waiting in the sitting room, both stood and hugged the new arrivals. Tear stained faces blared out at Maria as a ping of guilt invaded her. She couldn't cry. Not anymore. Her new role, her new profession, stood in her way of tears. There was always time to cry later. Today, she wanted to be on alert. She wanted to comfort her friends and make them promises. She wanted to be the strong one and tell them everything was going to be okay. She wanted to hug Liz and tell her she missed her.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked tentatively and Maria nodded. "You're right in the middle of this, it must be so hard…"

Maria nodded. "It is, but we'll find out who killed her."

"Promise?" Isabel asked softly, standing next to her husband holding his hand. "For Max. He's…He's in bad shape."

"Is he here?" Kyle asked.

Isabel shook her head. "No, he's with the Parkers."

"How are they?" Maria asked and damned herself for not taking time out to visit Liz's parents. A couple she once thought of as her adopted parents when her and Liz were younger. "Should I go…?"

Alex shook his head. "No, it's bad over there."

Maria knew he was thinking the same thing she was. She walked into the siting room and sat on the couch; Kyle joined her and held her hand. Alex brought in coffee and the four old friends talked about Liz Parker. They were finally able to smile in the face of death remembering all the things they'd shared together with Liz. All the fun times of grade school and high school. Then they were able to laugh. A last laugh before the funeral.

*        *         *

Michael Guerin arrived at the church as the first mourners were already seated. Not knowing Liz Parker, he felt obligated to stay in the back. He scanned the crowd and felt their pain. From the elderly to the young, Liz was a favorite friend, student and member of society. He couldn't even group all of his victims into that category. Some were not outstanding members of their community, some only had a handful of friends and family attend their funeral services. There was still nothing to tie them together.

He felt the urge to run his hand through his hair remembering he had slicked it back for the occasion. His black designer suit and white button-down shirt were beginning to bother him. He had dubbed it the 'funeral suit'. Those were the only times he had worn it in two years. Eleven times in two years he had worn the suit to attend the aftermath of a wicked evil.

Eleven women too young to die. Eleven women ripped from their families on the whim of a mad man. He watched the steady stream of people file in taking notice of each person. He saw Isabel and Alex Whitman and held his breath. The sheriff and Maria DeLuca followed them in.

Michael watched Maria walk down the aisle of the chapel; his gaze never wavering. Her walk had him captivated. He almost thought he could smell the jasmine. He watched her sit down and take her place in-between Kyle and Isabel. He felt his heart racing with an excitement he never thought, or even wanted to, feel again. There was something about her. Something that was making his deadened senses wake up.

He stared through the crowds at the back of her head, when she turned around and smiled at him he felt like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He looked down away from her smile and shook his head. The feelings of wanting to take her in his arms and smother her with kisses were overwhelming and he still didn't know exactly where they were coming from. She hadn't given him a sign; she hadn't said anything to him to make these feelings arise. They were there on their own accord. All for a woman, a living woman, who wasn't available. Evidence of that sat next to her on the pew.

Maybe it was because of her 'never say die' attitude. Maybe it was because of the way she dove right in and already knew more in one day than all the other local law officers combined. Maybe it was because of her attentiveness to detail and devotion to find the man who killed her friend. Maybe it was because she smelled like jasmine.

Thinking about Maria was probably not the best idea in the world right now, he decided as the boyfriend, Max Evans, walked down the aisle flanked by the Parkers on wither side. Michael watched their pain and heartache and mourned with them. He saw the anger on Max's face and understood. He still had to talk to them all, but not for a few days. He wanted to learn about Liz, but he didn't want to put any more strain on the family. He'd tried that once and the result was still a painful memory.

Liz's minister gave the eulogy and the weeping was heard throughout. There were no other speakers; sometimes the sorrow and grief were more overpowering than words.
The service lasted almost an hour and the burial was going to be private, family only.  Michael knew the sadness wouldn't diminish in a day or two, but that was as long as he could wait. This time he did have help with the family. He had Maria. He watched the mourners follow the casket out of the church. His eyes met with Maria's and locked.

He took a few shallow breaths as she passed by his row. He waited until the last of the people passed before standing and following the group outside. An angry outburst from the lawn in front of the church caught his attention as well as everyone else's. Max Evans was pointing in Maria's face. Michael stood almost twenty yards away and could feel the anger rippling off of Max. He made his way through the crowd and stood behind Maria next to Isabel. Isabel was paling. He looked around and Kyle was no where to be found.

"You were not her friend!" Max yelled.

"Yes I was," Maria replied calmly and stepped away from the offending finger.

"If you were her friend you would have known we were engaged! If you were her friend…" Tears spilled down his face. "Now you're all high and mighty walking around with that stupid fucking badge and playing detective! You should be crying for her, Maria. You would be crying if you were her friend!"

Maria took a deep breath. "Max, I was her friend and I'm your friend too-"

"The fuck you are!" A bitter laugh came through the sobs. "You don't care, Maria."

"Because I'm not crying? Is that why?" Maria asked quietly completely aware of the stillness of the crowd around them. She glanced to her side looking for Kyle and came up empty.  Damn, where was he?

Max couldn't answer her; the obvious pull of grief was weighing him down.

"I'm working to find out who did this to her and make him pay, Max. That's what I'm doing with my stupid fucking badge. I'm trying to make sure her death will be avenged."

"You're not a super hero, you're not a super anything." Max met her eyes. "She missed you Maria and you never even cared."

Maria felt the sting of tears and looked for salvation. Guilt ravaged her soul. "I'll find him, Max."

He shrugged and looked at the hearse that had pulled up along side the lawn. "She's in there. She's never coming back."

"I'm sorry," Maria reached to him and laid her hand on his shoulder. He swung around and knocked her hand off of him.

"Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me." He walked away towards the hearse leaving Maria in the spotlight alone. Embarrassed and ashamed.

She turned around slowly and saw Michael. Without hesitation she walked to him and fell into his arms. The tears she thought were gone for good flowed from her eyes and soaked his funeral suit.

He didn't care about the suit; he held her against him and let her cry. "He's angry Maria. People say a lot of things in anger they don't mean and aren't true."

She looked up at him felt her heart race. She nodded and laid her head back against his chest.
*        *          *

Chapter Twelve

Michael held her against him and smelled jasmine.

"What's going on?" Kyle Valenti appeared next to them; an angry surprised expression on his face. "Maria?" Maria looked at him and went to him; he held her the way Michael had only seconds before. "So, what's going on?" Kyle asked again rubbing Maria's back.

"Max," Isabel Whitman said quietly. She glanced at Michael before continuing. "He started yelling at Maria, saying some mean things to her and…"

"And what?" Kyle's even voice edged towards demanding. He kept his eyes on Michael Guerin. "Why you?"

Michael wished he knew the answer to that one. There was no reason that Maria went to him when her friends were standing next to him. He shook his head unable to answer.

"Maria?" Kyle said her name and forced her to look at him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she stood up straight and wiggled out of Kyle's hands. "Max was just being an ass, and I took it personally. I know he's upset and doesn't know what he's saying." She wiped away the last of the tears and smiled. "It's all good, Kyle. I promise." She walked back to Michael and looked up into his eyes. "Thank you Agent Guerin. You were just the first person I saw." She locked eyes with him and wondered if she was sending the right message because what she had just said had technically been a lie. He had been the first, but she knew her friends were right beside him, she had wanted to go to him.

He nodded and shifted his eyes away from her. "It's okay." He looked at Isabel. "Can I talk to you again later tonight, about Liz? Both of you?" He transferred his attention to Alex and completely away from Maria. He couldn't look at her. The excuses for going to him bit at his newly awakened heart. R>
He chastised himself for even thinking about her that way. There was no reason to. He'd been over all that in the church and now he was doing it again. There wasn't room in his life for her right now. All of his time and devotion was spent on finding the man who had ruined his life. The man who made it a part of his own life to ruin Michael's. The man who left Michael no time for a life. He didn't even hear the response from Isabel and that bothered him. The agent must come first, then the man.

"Is that okay?" Isabel asked. "Around eight?"

"Sure," Michael smiled and turned towards the parking lot. "I'm going to go change and get to the station."

"I'll see you there," Maria said and tried to grab his attention.

His gaze wandered back to her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah Maria, are you sure?" Kyle asked stepping in front of her preventing her from looking directly at Michael. "Are you up to it? I mean…Liz?"

"Yeah Kyle, I'm up to it. Now more than ever." She met her boyfriend's eyes. "I have to do this. I have to get back into something to keep my mind off Liz…As much as I can. I have nine other women to meet." She looked past Kyle and met Michael's inquisitive eyes. "I've only met the first one so far and she was a wonderful woman."

Michael closed his eyes and smiled and knew for a fact why he was falling for Maria DeLuca. Wrong or right, it was happening and he wasn't sure if he could or wanted to stop it.

"Fine, let's go." Kyle started walking away and Maria trailed after him after hugging both Isabel and Alex good-bye. "So, why are you so adamant about working today?"

"I told you I have to," she sighed. "This is important-"

"Is it him?" Kyle asked quietly watching his feet.

Maria sucked in a breath and didn't know how to answer. "It's Liz."

Kyle nodded and reached for her hand. He pulled her next to him and wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked. "I love you Maria, you know that right?"

"I know, I love you too." She smiled and wondered if it was convincing. "You do understand why I have to do this today, don't you?"

He nodded. He understood it on several different levels. "You're going to find him, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I am." She said with sudden confidence.

*        *         *

Michael was already stationed in the war room waiting for Maria. He had changed from the funeral suit to jeans and a button down dark green shirt. He rolled the sleeves up and waited. Victim number two was on the agenda for the evening. He smiled knowing Maria was going to know them as well as he did, maybe even better.

Maria. The scene from the church was still alive in his memory. There had been too many conflicting messages coming from her. She did go to him, but she said it was because he was the first person she saw. He didn't know if he believed that or not.

"Screw it," he mumbled and looked towards the victim boxes. There were eleven women who needed him right now; Maria wasn't one of them. She didn't need him for anything. She had the sheriff.  He didn't know if he had time for a life, he hadn't been allowed one in so long he wasn't sure if he even remembered how to have one.

One thing he remembered now was how it felt to have a woman in his arms. That was also something he wasn't allowed to have.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Maria strolled into the room in khaki Capri pants and a black T-shirt. The denim shirt tied around her waist.

Michael looked at her and thought that not for a million dollars would she know his thoughts right then. "Are you okay?"

"If you mean have I recovered from the mental breakdown after getting verbally assaulted by Max? Then the answer is yes." She set down a cup in front of him. One he hadn't even seen her holding. "Cappuccino?"

He nodded and took it from her. "Thanks. So, I have to talk to Isabel and Alex at eight, do you want to come?"

She nodded eagerly. "You bet. Remember, we're in this together Michael."

"Do you mean it?" He wasn't sure where that had come from and he didn't like how pathetic it had sounded.

"Damn straight. We're going to nail this bastard, Michael. Don't doubt that for a single second. I won't give up." She sat across the table from him. "So, I'm ready. I want to meet victim number two."

"It was nice what you said today." He said quietly as he stood up and took the lid off the box. "About Lorelei. I guess you didn't tell Kyle about my relationship to her?"

She shook her head. "I didn't know if I should." She looked across the table at him and smiled. "Is it a secret?"

"A secret?" He seemed to think about it and then laughed. It felt good to laugh. "I don't know if I'd call it a secret, if you want to tell him you can."

She shrugged and sipped her own cappuccino. "I don't think it'll come up, so we'll just keep it between us. So, let me meet…"

"Ivy Mason."

"Ivy Mason," Maria took a deep breath. "I'm ready to meet Ivy."

Michael nodded and retrieved a folder from inside the box. A folder just like Lorelei's. They were all uniform. He handed the folder to Maria and got Lorelei's back out. He took the eight by ten picture of her out; grabbing a roll of tape he carried her picture to the wall and taped her up. She was victim number one. After Maria was done meeting Ivy, her photo would go along side Lorelei's. This was the first time Lorelei's picture hadn't made him think about all the things he missed about her. The first time looking at that chestnut hair and matching eyes that he didn't feel his heart shatter. Michael Guerin was moving on.

Maria read each word carefully. Ivy Mason had been twenty-one when her life was cut short. She was found almost a mile away from her home she shared with her mother and younger sister in Billings Montana. School kids on their way home discovered her body on a Friday afternoon. She was found face down in a ditch, nude except for a red scarf around her neck. Maria studied the picture in front of her. A high school senior picture. Ivy had strawberry blond hair in a tangle of wild of curls. Her face was full and Maria learned from reading her statistics, so was her body. She was a big and tall girl and looked absolutely nothing like Liz or Lorelei. The slight physical-appearance connection of dark hair and eyes was gone.

"She was a country girl?" Maria looked up from the pages in her hand to find Michael watching her read. She smiled.

"Yeah, country music, cowboy hats and boots and even a horse named Red." Michael remembered meeting her horse and even making promises to the melancholy mammal. "She was religious and a homebody." He shook his head.

"How did you know she was connected to Lorelei? A letter?"

Michael nodded. "It came to the hotel I was staying at after Lorelei was killed. I would have never even heard about Ivy if it wasn't for the letter."

"He mailed you at the hotel, so he knew you were there the whole time?"

"He always knows where I'm at. He knows my habits, I think he knows everything about me. The last eight after-death letters arrived at the hotel, motel, Inn or B&B I was staying at before I even decided to stay. He knows my tastes, he knows everything. Sometimes he tells me where to go and other times I get wind of the crime from the bureau."

"So you are the actual target then? He's doing this to get to you?" Maria asked slowly.

"I don't know," he threw his hands up in the air. "If it was me he was after, why not just kill me and get it over with? Why kill eleven women?"

"Do you have any enemies?"

"I don't have anyone." Michael bit his lip. "I mean, I've never had enemies. I was the guy who sat alone in school and ate lunch while reading a book. I went to Quantico because I wanted to help people. I wanted to catch the bad guys. I didn't want to spend my entire career hunting down some sick fuck who's got a hard on for me." He blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend."

"Me?" Maria smiled before laughing. "Please. I believe our first meeting was me flipping you off. You have every right to be mad. Hell, you should be mad. I'd be worried if you weren't. So, let me see the letter telling you about Ivy."

Michael glanced at the clock, almost eight. "We have to meet Isabel and Alex Whitman in a few minutes."

"So we'll be a few minutes late," she held out her hand. "Let me see it."

Michael tried to look grudgingly at her but found it impossible. He got out the mailing envelope and slid out letter number three. He handed it to her and watched as she read it.

Agent Guerin

I think my eyes will be deceived or
are you as smart as you believe?
I promised, did I lie?
I told you more would die.

Your life is marred
Your soul is ripped
Will you let me win?
Will you make a slip?

Go to Billings, Agent dear
The answer will be soon be clear.

"'The answer will soon be clear'?" Maria snuffled. "Yeah, right."

Michael sat next to her and leaned over her shoulder as he read the letter again with her. He tried to ignore the smell of her, the warmth he felt from being so close. The slight tremor in her hand gave him hope. Maybe there was a life waiting for Michael Guerin after all.

*        *         *
Chapter Thirteen


"He knows you, doesn't he?" Maria asked looking over her shoulder at Michael. Their faces only inches apart. Neither of them able to capture the others eyes. "The way he talks, I think he knows you."

"I've been over everyone I've ever met in my entire life and I came up with nothing." Michael sighed and wondered how bad cappuccino breath really was. "I told you, I was a loner."

"What about school? Quantico, what about there?" Maria asked eagerly as she wondered about her own breath.

"Another agent? I don't think so. I don't make waves Maria," he leaned back away from her. "I've never had a lot of friends, I didn't socialize much. I didn't do much until I met Lorelei."

"Where did you meet her?" Maria turned her chair around and faced him.  She wanted to know as much as she could about the man in front of her for two reasons. The first reason was to see if there was anything in his past that she might view a little differently. The other reason was, despite the circumstances around her, that she wanted to know the man behind the agent.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly. This was a part of him he thought was locked up for good. A part that was never going to be shared with another. And now here he was sitting in a 'war room' with a beautiful and intelligent woman getting ready to tell her about himself. Not only tell her, but without reservation. "I met her in the grocery store," he smiled thinking about the day. "We both reached for the same bottle of wine.

"We laughed about it and then decided since there was only one bottle left that we'd share it." He remembered the way Lorelei's hair fell into her face when she laughed. "We had our first date that night. I was at Quantico and she was an artist. She sculpted and taught classes. I was smitten, do people still use that word anymore?"

"For the right reasons," Maria smiled.

"Well, I was smitten by her. She put a whole new meaning into my life. We spent countless days together and then when I graduated and learned I was going to be sent to the Seattle office, I asked her to go with me."

"She was from Virginia?" Maria asked not remembering reading that in her file.

"Richmond, she moved to Quantico not too long before I met her," Michael smiled finally being able to share this with someone besides the man in the mirror. "So when I went to Seattle, she left behind her life and went with me."

"Were you going to marry her?"

"I was, I would have…I worked a lot and we didn't spend the time together we should…But yes, I was going to marry her."

"I'm sorry you never got the chance," Maria reached over to him before she could stop herself and took his hand. She gave it a light squeeze and broke away. Her hands were trembling again, but she tried to conceal it by clasping them together in her lap. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Quarter past eight. "I guess we should go, huh?"

Michael looked at his watch and nodded. "I'm usually on time for meetings," he raised an eyebrow at her and winked.

"Yeah, well, now you have Maria DeLuca along for the ride and you never know what's going to happen."

Michael agreed with that last statement.

*        *         *

Kyle Valenti walked through his house from room to room thinking about all the places him and Maria had made love. All the times they had sworn their love to each other.

"Damn it!" he kicked the side of the couch and then swore again when his foot went through the fabric. "Fuck!"

After a slight struggle to get his foot out of the stuffing he punched the couch. This was not right. Nothing was going as planned. He could feel the detachment from Maria every time he was around her now. Ever since they had both met Agent Michael Guerin.

This is when Kyle began to feel the inadequacy of being a small-time sheriff in a small-time town. He knew he didn't have much to offer someone like Maria. He could give her a home, a nice life with him and his love. He knew he'd never drive a fancy Mercedes like Agent Guerin. He'd never be a member of an elite crime-solving squad. He was destined to be the Roswell Sheriff until he got voted out. He still thought that if Maria ran for it, she'd win. That was just the type of person Maria was. That was one of the reasons he loved her so much.

Their relationship had shifted so much over time; going from ignoring each other to name calling to friends to lovers. They had known each other most of their lives, as like most of the population of Roswell, gone to grade and high school together. Kyle remembered how much she got on his nerves when he dated Liz Parker for a short time in high school. Maria was always around, she thrived on that. Him and Liz never had a moment alone, all in all, that turned out to be a good thing. After the bitter break-up, he had resorted to name calling and Maria had followed suit. The name calling ended as soon as they found out that their respective divorced parents were dating.

Then they had become friends. Well, not exactly friends. They had fallen into a brother/sister routine when talks of marriage loomed heavy with the parents and Maria's own relationship with Liz Parker had almost all but dissolved. They found something in each other neither had been looking for. They found a family.

The news of the break-up up of his father and her mother was earth shattering. Kyle remembered how Maria defended her mother and he defended his father. They fought like cats and dogs and eventually realized that it didn't matter whose fault the break-up had been; it wasn't their problem. Then they became lovers and now they were drifting away.

No, Kyle shook his head. That wasn't entirely true. Maria was drifting away from him. He loved her and would be happy to spend the rest of his life with her; but if anything, he knew Maria and knew she was destined for bigger and better things. He had always known that about her but most of the time chose to ignore it. He always hoped when she found her true calling that he'd be at her side; now that was looking bleak. He wouldn't give her up without a fight. If he had learned nothing else, never give up on what you believe in. He believed in his relationship and he wasn't about to hand it over to some hot shot FBI guy in pretty clothes that slithered into town in a fancy car. No way. It wasn't going to be that easy. For anyone.

*        *         *

"Did you learn anything new?" Maria asked as her and Michael walked back to the station. The deciding factor on walking to the B&B had been Maria's idea. She had mentioned that you get to see so much more when you walk; you get a feel for where you're at.

"Not really," he wanted to run his hands through his hair but the slicked back funeral 'do was still in place. "Liz was a town sweetheart. She never did anything wrong and was an all around good person. She loved her life and her fiancé and was excited about getting married."

Maria shrugged; she didn't know Liz the same way anymore. She only knew the Liz from before. "I guess."

"Isabel didn't care for her all that much for awhile, did she?"

"No. Not at all." Maria smiled remembering the days in high school that Isabel and her bitchy friends would make fun of her and Liz both. Maria and Isabel had come to an understanding a long time ago and got over their differences and actually became friends. It didn't hurt that Isabel had fallen hard for one of Maria's good friends and wound up marrying him. Isabel and Liz would have never have been the best of friends; but they were working on it for Max's sake. Max. "Are you going to talk to Max?"

"I have to, but you can sit that one out."

"Uh-uh, I'll be there." She absently touched his arm. "But you might have to referee and let me warn you, I can pack a mean right hook."

"I bet you can…" Michael trailed off and glanced down at her hand still resting on his arm. "I bet you can."

"Yeah," Maria quipped nervously and pulled her hand away. "So don't let this little petite frame fool you."

"I don't let anything fool me anymore," he smiled. They walked the rest of the way back to the station in silence. Michael did as he was advised and took in his darkened surroundings. He inhaled the desert air and exhaled demons. On his drive into town he had wondered if Roswell would have anything to offer him. He knew it did now and she was walking along side of him.

*        *         *

Back inside the war room Maria was re-reading about Ivy Mason. She had flipped through Lorelei's file again and took more notes. Michael studied her as she studied the pages of notes and pictures in front of her. He watched her for over an hour as she compared Ivy and Lorelei. Her determination was unstoppable.

It was close to midnight when she looked up at him. "The next letter, when did you get it?"

"After I was in Billings for a few days. It was delivered to my hotel." He stood and stretched completely aware that Maria was watching him. He got out the familiar mailing envelope and pulled out the next letter. He wasn't positive if he was correct in operating in this manner with the letters, but since she wasn't arguing, he deemed it appropriate. He handed her the letter and stood in back of her while she read it.

Agent Guerin

Told you once
Told you twice
More to come
So please play nice.

You are the smart one
You are the savior
Cards will fall
Will they be in your favor?

Agent Guerin this is all for you
Agent Guerin, what will you do?

Maria looked up at him by tilting her head back. "He's a psycho, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know that. Of course I know that! So what do you think about this one?"

"Did you get bureau help on Ivy?"

He hesitated before nodding. "At first, I got a little help from a friend on some profiling…"

"And that's what he meant by playing nice. Do you think he could be from the bureau?"

"No." Michael shook his head adamantly. "I've been through that a hundred times and came up empty."

"Who else knew you got bureau help with Ivy?"

"I don't know," he sighed and walked around to face her. He pulled up a plastic backed chair and sat down. "I don't know how he knew. I don't know how he knows anything."

"Okay, so you're the smart one and savior. Savior of what? Obviously not the victims because well, they're all dead." Maria hoped that didn't come out as cruel as it sounded to her. If it did, Michael didn't notice or chose to let her know. "Savior is a tough one. He's already called you smart in two letters. Cards falling in your favor? That's a cliché, is he cliché man?"

"Only to a certain extent," Michael reviewed the letters in his mind. "I think he believes that I am some egomaniac who thinks I'm smarter than everyone else. Let me be the first to tell you, I'm not like that. If I were smarter than everyone else, then I'd have this son-of-a-bitch by now."

"Okay, so let's go back to savior." She stood and reached over him to grab a dictionary from behind him. Her breast glossed across his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and fought the urge to touch her. He remembered to breathe and thought he looked perfectly normal when she sat back down with the dictionary in hand. "Dictionary?"

"Hey, I like to be prepared." She flipped the pages and then read to him. "Savior. 'One who saves'. Who are you saving Agent Guerin?"

Michael shook his head and wished he knew. "I don't know Maria. I don't think anyone."

"Does he refer to you as that again, later on?"

"Not those exact words. You'll see as you read on."

"We don't have much time Michael. I don't feel good about any of this. He's leading up to something, isn't he? All these letters are clues and you haven't been able to put them together."

"I know…"

"I didn't mean it like that," she rolled her eyes and kicked his shin playfully. "Seriously, we're running out of time. I can almost hear the clock ticking down. I think the games almost over. Who's number three? I want to meet her tonight."

"Tonight? It's late won't Kyle be worried?"

Maria cocked her head to the side and wondered if she heard the slightest bit of jealousy in saying her boyfriend's name. "I'll call him. So, you have a late date tonight or can I meet number three?"

"I don't have a date," he smiled and once again admired her tenacity. "Veronica Page." He got out another folder and handed it to her. "Maria DeLuca, meet Ronnie Page."

Maria took the folder as the cell phone in her purse chirped. She jumped and grabbed the silver phone and put it to her ear. Michael listened to the one sided conversation and knew it was the sheriff who was calling.

"I know…I will…Don't worry…I'll make sure Agent Guerin walks me to my car…C'mon, that is crap…I promise…." She looked at Michael and rolled her eyes. "We're going to be here for awhile longer…Right…Okay…I love you too." She flipped the phone closed and shoved it back in her purse. "You don't mind walking me to my car when were done here, do you?" She bat her eyelashes at him.

"No, I don't mind at all."

Maria sat back down and opened up the folder on Ronnie Page.
*        *         *

Chapter Fourteen


Ronnie Page was found inside her home, posed on her childhood Princess bed, complete with a pink canopy, stuffed animals propped up around her nude body as if watching her sleep. The telltale red scarf was a slash of wickedness in a virginal room. Maria absorbed everything she could about Ronnie.

Maria studied the crime-scene photo in disgust. "The animals. He made them watch."

"Watch?" Michael asked while an amused smile played across his lips.

Maria rolled her eyes at him and stifled a yawn. "You know what I mean." She fingered the eight by ten of a pretty young woman with mocha skin and deep brown eyes. "From Seattle to Billings to Detroit. Where from there?"

"Little Rock, Arkansas."

"The pattern, hell, there is no pattern. He's not even hitting places close together. It's almost like he's throwing a dart at a map and going from there."

"But that would make the killings random and they're not random." Michael yawned.

"Are you sure?"

"How can they be random? How can he just pick and choose and still know exactly what to say in his letters. Exactly how to get to me? There's a reason he chose them we just haven't found it yet."

"I still think he knows you," she set down the photo of Ronnie and reached for the coffee cup in front of her.

"He can't. There is no one that I've ever pissed off this bad. I told you Maria," Michael was trying not to get agitated but it was late and he was tired. "There is no one in my life, nor has there ever been, that could do this."

"You never knocked anyone down on the playground? Never screwed up the winning basket in high school? Never dented anyone's car? Never made someone feel inferior?"

Michael shook his head. "I'm not like that. I have never been the person to be mean to anyone. I keep to myself; I don't make waves. I just wanted a nice life solving crimes and living happily ever after with Lorelei."

"Someone didn't think you should get that." She took the last sip of coffee and glanced at the wall clock. "Oh God, it's almost four!" She stood up. "I didn't know it was so late. I have to go!"

Michael jumped up and looked at her. After a long and painful day of first Liz Parker's funeral and then reading about victims and crime scenes. He noticed her eye make-up was worn off and her lips were nearly chapped from biting on them all night over case files. Her hair had been pulled out of the French roll hours earlier and now hung straight, tucked behind her ears. Her clothes were wrinkled from where she had been sitting for hours. And still, Michael thought she was beautiful.

"Still walk me to my car Agent Guerin?" She smiled over her shoulder as she picked up her purse.

"Of course," he put Ronnie Page's folder back in the box and followed her out of the war room locking the door behind him. He didn't like leaving all of his case files and especially the letters alone, but everything was different this time.

They walked down the empty station hallway side by side and waved to the night dispatcher as they left. Michael placed his hand on her back as they walked through the parking lot to her little Miata.

"You're amazing," he said in a faraway voice.

"Amazing?" Maria turned to face him and hoped he couldn't see the nervousness in her face.

"I mean," he covered his mouth from a yawn. "I mean all this stamina to learn about them. All this time you're spending on it. With me."

"I'll get him, Michael."

"I know, I don't doubt you for a single second." He heard his breath catch. "I don't doubt anything about you Maria DeLuca. When I said you were amazing, I meant that on many levels. Get some sleep DeLuca." He stared in her eyes for a few seconds and thought that would have been a good time to kiss her. Kiss her if that was what she had wanted. After all, she was the one in the relationship. The only relationship Michael was in was the one with the dead girls.

"Good night Michael." Maria turned away from him and got in her car. She watched him walk to the Mercedes and get inside before letting out a breath. "Damn."

She started her Miata and knew he was waiting for her to pull out of the lot before he did. She did so and kept one eye on the road and one on her rearview mirror until he made the turn towards the B&B.

Maria pulled up in the driveway and wasn't surprised that every light in the house was on. She knew Kyle would be waiting up for her. The guilt of not calling was weighing her down. She got out of the car and walked as slowly as she could to the house. The front door was locked and she knew Kyle had done that just to piss her off and he was probably sitting in the living room. She swore as she fumbled with her keys. Swinging the door open, Kyle was exactly where she thought he would be; in the living room on the couch. Not looking in her direction.

"Kyle," she sighed and walked to him. She stood in front of him and then kneeled waiting for him to look at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it was this late."

Kyle nodded but remained tightlipped.

"I was reading and I lost track of time," she explained and rubbed his knees. "I'm sorry."

"I was worried," he said slowly.

"You could have called me," she was starting to lose her patience with him. "You did earlier, why not call again?"

"I didn't want to disturb you and the Fed." Kyle spat out.

"The Fed?" Maria stood and knew where the conversation was headed.

"Yeah, the Fed." Kyle stood. "I'm going to bed. I've been sitting here all night worrying about you and grieving alone. I buried a friend today too, Maria, in case you forgot."

The guilt was evident on her face. She had never considered Kyle's feelings on burying Liz. Of course it was hard for him, too. Neither of them had lost a friend before. "I'm sorry, Kyle."

"If you want out, tell me now." He walked away from her and down the hall to the bedroom.

Maria trailed after him into the bedroom. She watched him get underneath the covers and pull them up to his chin facing away from her. With a heavy sigh, she undressed and left her clothes in a heap on the floor and slid into bed next to him. She draped her arm over him and waited for him to respond. I you want out, tell me now. She heard the words over and over and they stung. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know if she was ready to give up her life with Kyle for the unknown. Kyle was safe and she did love him on some level.

She was comfortable with Kyle. They were comfortable around each other. She wondered if she had never met Agent Michael Guerin if she would be feeling this distant to Kyle. She imagined she would at some point or another. It had only been a matter of time. Maybe Agent Guerin had nothing to do with it. Maybe Agent Guerin wasn't interested at all. Maria closed her eyes and felt like the ultimate betrayer. Lying naked in bed with Kyle while wondering if Michael Guerin had any interest in her. She fell asleep before giving Kyle an answer.

*        *         *

When Maria woke up a few hours later, Kyle was gone. She wrapped the sheet around her and looked out the window; his truck was gone. After thinking about her next move, she gathered clothes together and made her way to the shower. The hot water streamed down her body and the same green tea body wash that helped her relax before was now making her sick. She tossed the bottle out of the shower and relied on Kyle's bar soap to get the smell off of her.

She dressed in denim shorts and a long sleeved shirt of Kyle's. After remembering her near fall on the banks of Blackwater Draw, she changed from sandals to boots. She looked in the mirror and thought she looked like an ad for an outdoors store. She blow-dried her hair and pulled it up in a ponytail. Not knowing what the plans were for the day, she packed a small bag with jeans and a sweater.

The mirror was telling her she needed some make-up to cover the dark circles. She took her time and added a little more make-up than she normally would as a brand new thing happened to her. She got butterflies in her stomach. It had been so long since she had butterflies about anything and now she was having them for a reason she was trying to bury as far away as she could: Agent Guerin.

"That's great, Maria." She said to her reflection. "You're a mess for a man you barely know while the love of your life feels like shit. You are one hell of a girlfriend." She admonished herself. "Actually, you are pathetic Your friend is dead and you're having daydreams about the mystery man. It's done. Michael Guerin is someone you work with, nothing more. Get your mind on what's important and get over the rest. Besides, what would a big time FBI Agent want to do with a small town glorified police dispatcher who's never even been outside of New Mexico?"

On her way out the door she grabbed a bottled water and wondered what was on the agenda for the day. Victim number four was going to be met, the one from Little Rock. She got in her Miata and put the top down. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was a much nicer day today in Roswell New Mexico.

*        *         *
Michael Guerin paced the war room. He had been there for almost half an hour and wondered when Maria was going to arrive. It was early and he knew she couldn't have gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep. He had passed Kyle in the hallway and couldn't help but notice the iciness in his tone and demeanor as they talked. Kyle had asked him how everything was going and if he needed help with anything. Michael had replied that Maria was more than enough and had regretted it instantly. The coldness of the glare from the sheriff had actually given Michael goosebumps, something he wasn't used to getting from anyone.

"So, what's on the agenda for the day?" Maria asked as she walked in the war room looking completely refreshed. "I want to meet number four, anything else or do I get to meet five and maybe six as well? Maybe all the rest?"

"You get to meet number four, Elizabeth Williams, for sure." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I talked to Max Evans this morning and he's agreed to talk to us this afternoon."

"Peachy," Maria slid into a chair. "Does he know I'll be there?"

"I made sure to tell him just to avoid any altercations. He said he didn't care if you were there or not." Michael shrugged and raised an eyebrow at her. "I guess that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, it's all good." She outstretched her hand to him. "I want to see the letter that came after Ronnie."

Michael nodded and handed her the letter he had already gotten out of the envelope. He handed it to her and wondered if she had noticed the way that his hand was shaking. He could attribute it to lack of sleep, but that would be a lie.

Maria opened the letter and read with an almost criminal intent:

Agent Guerin

Three little maidens all in a row
I can't stop now I'm on a roll
Won't stop until you realize
Everything I know.

Don't know what it means
Can't see through the rain
I'm going to make you witness
The heartache and pain.

Agent Guerin is your heart still dead?
Agent Guerin can you put yourself in my head?


"I said it before and I'll say it again, one sick psycho bastard we're dealing with." Maria looked up from the letter to see Agent Guerin seemingly drowning in her. She took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. She didn't want to say anything to him, not yet. She didn't know where this crazy whim was going to lead. It was too soon and there was still too much to learn and she felt the tick tock of time running out.

*         *            *

**NOTE** I screwed up. In the end of the last chapter I identified victim numer four as Elizabeth Williams when in fact her last name is Randolph as stated in an earlier chapter. My bad.  And S*, you should have caught that ;)  
Chapter Fifteen

Maria spent the remainder of the morning meeting Elizabeth Randolph from Little Rock Arkansas.  Elizabeth was called Betsey by everyone who knew her and Michael had to work hard to convince Maria the names were just coincidence and to move on. Elizabeth Randolph and Elizabeth Parker had nothing else in common, just like the rest.

Betsey Randolph was so dissimilar from the other victims so far Maria was having a hard time getting a handle on her. She was a truant in high school, a repetitive runaway; she'd been forced into rehab when she was seventeen. At age twenty-four she was dead. Found by her mother in the backyard of a home she'd only moved back to recently, propped up against the back privacy fence with only the red scarf around her throat. Maria studied the crime scene photograph and occasionally glanced to the other victims on the table in front of her.

"Why is he posing them? I mean, this looks posed and she was found outside. Liz wasn't posed at all, just thrown away…" Her voice caught and she shook her head. The guilt of a lost friendship still poised on her consciousness. She knew it would for a long time and there was no escaping it. It would take a long time for her to come to grips with the fact that Liz was gone; many more to wash away the guilt of not being there as a friend. The guilt was valid to a point, Maria knew that, Liz wasn't giving either as a friend. She had all but shut Maria out of the last couple of years. That was what would let Maria sift through the guilt she harbored.

"I don't have an answer for that. She's the only one who was found outside at her house. Well, Lorelei was outside but barely." Michael ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I don't know why he does anything. I have the early profile on him, but it does us no good, not really. He doesn't follow a pattern. You can't profile someone who has no pattern!"

"There is a pattern," Maria said slowly not wanting to reiterate the same thing over and over. "You just haven't found it."

Michael picked up a notepad and small tape recorder. "We should go meet Max Evans."

Maria sighed and could feel the tension rolling off him. She had hurt him. Not only as an Agent, but also as a man. "Michael…"

He turned around slowly to face her and she felt the sharp intake of breath. She saw him as he was. She saw a man in front of her who had devoted the last two years of his life chasing a madman across the country. She knew she had no right to emasculate his efforts. She hadn't meant it to come out that way. Not at all.

"Do we drive or walk?" Michael asked and cocked his head to one side, still obviously offended.

"Michael," she stood and walked towards him. Standing in front of him and looking up into his saddened eyes, she smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like such a bitch." She touched his arm when he opened his mouth to speak. "That came out sounding awful, I'm sorry." She gripped his arm and got the inclination to never let go of it.

"You were right and that's what pisses me off," he said quietly. "I feel like a failure and when it's brought out into the light…I've got the blood of eleven women on my hands."

"You are not a failure!" She exclaimed. "I mean, look at you. You have been committed for two years to find this guy and stop him. You lost the woman you were in love with; Christ, you were going to marry her! Do you even have a home anymore or did you give that up too?"

"I gave up everything. I've lived from hotel to hotel and out of my car." He smirked. "I'm actually homeless."

"Where do your bills get sent too?" Maria asked furrowing her brow. "I mean, I know you have to have bills…"

"The Seattle office." He grinned and then laughed. "Way to end a self-loathing rant?"

"Hey, if anyone knows about rants, it's me." She knew she was still holding on to his arm but she didn't care, it felt like a good thing to do. Possibly the right thing to do. "I am the queen of the rants and I've heard every excuse in the world to make me stop. Just a little applied learning, Agent Guerin."

"I really liked it better when you called me 'Agent Michael'."

Maria blushed and finally let go of his arm. "We should go see Max. And we're driving. Actually, you're driving. I've never been in a Mercedes before."

Michael nodded and they walked out of the station. Neither of them aware of Sheriff Valenti watching them from around the corner. Neither of them had seen him watching the interaction inside the war room.

*        *         *

Maria ran her hand over the leather seat and was thankful that the day was pleasant and not hot. She couldn't image sitting on hot leather in the shorts she was wearing.

"Nice ride," she smiled and rolled down the window. "I thought FBI agents were supposed to drive around in beat-up cars and have old fast food bags piled up in the backseat."

"Now you're thinking of private detectives," Michael laughed and put on sunglasses. "We FBI agents are prissy."

Maria laughed and pointed Michael in the right direction to Max's apartment. This was not something she was looking forward to doing and hoped it wouldn't turn into another verbal assault. They drove the rest of the way in silence except for Maria's soft singing along with the radio. She caught Michael smiling and got chills.

He pulled into the parking lot and looked at his passenger. "Are you sure you're up for this? I'll understand if you'd rather wait in the car."

"I can do it," Maria nodded and opened her door. Under her breath she added, "at least I hope I can."

They walked together to the second floor apartment of Max Evans. Michael looked at his partner and when she nodded, he knocked. The door opened almost immediately and Max appeared. His hair was disheveled and he hadn't shaved. His clothes hung on him and Maria bet he hadn't eaten since he heard about Liz. All of the animosity leaked out of her as they stepped inside the dark apartment. She wanted to do nothing more than comfort him; but the look in his eyes warned her to keep her distance.

"Sit." Max pointed to the couch and threw newspapers that cluttered it to the floor.

Maria caught the paper headlines; they were all the same. It was the same paper she had thrown away. The paper that had Liz's death splashed on the front of it. She guessed there were maybe ten copies lying around. She sat and Michael sat next to her, she thought it was closer than he had too, but she didn't mind.

Max sat across from them on the arm of an overstuffed chair. "So. What do you want?"

"I just need to ask a few questions," Michael said slowly while feeling Max's pain fill the room. "It won't take very long."

"There's no one that would want to hurt Liz. She didn't have any enemies, everyone loved her." Max's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "You can ask anyone." He glanced at Maria. "They used to be friends."

"We were friends," Maria whispered. "We were always friends."

Max nodded but Maria could see the doubt etched on his face. She thought Max Evans had aged in the last few days. Gone was the happiness of life; it was replaced by a deep sadness. She hurt for him. She hurt with him.

Michael asked a few leading questions and eventually got Max to open up about Liz for almost the next hour.  He taped the conversation and took notes about the life and times of Liz Parker. Maria's silent tears flowed down her face as she listened to Max describe the friend she once had.

"Will you get help?" Michael asked and Maria figured it was the end of the discussion. Michael had learned whatever he had needed. "You should talk to someone, they can help you."

"Can they bring Liz back?" Max asked in the same monotonous tone he had exhibited for the duration of the interview.

"I'm sorry Mr. Evans," Michael stood and shook Max's lax hand.

Maria followed and attempted to hug her once friend. He didn't rebuke her, nor did he accept her. She followed Michael out of the dark apartment and back into the brilliant sunshine. They had barely made it to the steps leading down when Maria heard her name; Max was calling her. She walked back towards him and waited for an explosion of anger, instead, he handed her a letter.

At first she didn't want to take it while visions of the murderers letters hung in her memory. When she saw the familiar penmanship of Liz Parker, she took it.

"I found this in my desk," he spoke solemnly. "I assumed she was wanting to give it to you."

Maria nodded and returned to following Michael to the car. She clutched the letter to her chest and wondered what Liz had to tell her that she couldn't have called her on the phone. She was apprehensive to read it and when Michael questioned her about it, he lent the idea it might have something to do with her murder.

Once inside the safety of the Mercedes, Maria opened the letter and read it out loud:

"Maria. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way things turned out for us. I always imagined we'd grow old together and stay friends until our dying day. I guess I was wrong and I guess I'm probably to blame."

Michael touched her arm. "This sounds private Maria, you don't have to share."

She nodded and went back to reading. Once Max and I knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, once it was past the young puppy love stage, I couldn't see anything but him. He became my reason for living. I sank every bit of myself into that relationship. I don't regret surrendering myself to him; but I do regret losing you in the process. You were my best friend forever and I deserted you.

You have every right to ignore me; the same way I did you. I wasn't there for you for a long time and I didn't realize I had done that until…Well, maybe it's not too late. I'm writing you this letter instead of calling because it's the easier way for me. I know you Maria, and I know you'll hear the desperation in my voice when you read this. I want to get some of 'us' back. Now for the biggie, I don't know if you've heard or not, but Max proposed to me and I accepted. We're planning a fall wedding and it would make so happy if you would accept the position of my maid of honor. Take your time and at least think about it. You know where to find me. Again, I'm sorry. Your friend, Lizzie.

Maria was sobbing by the time she ended the letter. She looked to Michael and didn't care that her mascara was running down her face. She didn't care about anything else except that letter.

"Maria…" He reached for her and touched her cheek, wiping away a trail of tears.

"She was sorry…"Maria broke off and scooted closer to him; as close as the console would allow.

Michael took a deep breath and opened his arms to her, accepting her into him. Holding her, stroking her hair. He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him through teary eyes. He opened his eyes and fell into hers. Without thinking and without hesitation he leaned forward and kissed her salty lips.
*         *          *
Chapter Sixteen

The saltiness from her lips was intoxicating. Michael slid his hand through her hair and held the back of her head as the innocence of a first kiss deepened into something more.

Maria kept her eyes closed and trailed her hand across his cheek. The newness of an unfamiliar face, unfamiliar lips, unfamiliar feelings. Guilt ravaged through her and she broke away from him. She couldn't face him, not after what had just happened. She slid back into her seat and fastened the seatbelt. Biting her lower lip, tasting the freshness of Agent Michael Guerin; Maria slipped into a place she didn't like. A place that reeked of uncertainty and culpability for an action bore of weakness.

Michael started the car and didn't look in her direction. He let out a breath and knew he had made a vital mistake. He had moved on her sadness and used it to his own advantage. He had been thinking about kissing her and then she was in his arms and he took advantage of the situation. No, he shook his head fighting his own conscience. He didn't take advantage of anything. The moment was there and the natural thing to do was comfort. He didn't force her to kiss him and he didn't fight it when she left him. It may have been wrong and it may have not been timely, but it happened none the less. He was keeping his fingers crossed that she wouldn't have prejudiced feelings about working with him now.

He spared a glance at her to see her looking out of the window, squinting in the sunlight, her expression told him nothing. She didn't appear mad or even offended; she was just Maria and she was beautiful. He smiled a crooked half smile then looked back to the road in front of him. "Shit!"

The car dipped down and he slammed on the brakes. Maria held the dashboard and looked at him. "Pothole."

He smiled and felt the fear wash away. "Yeah, pothole." He released the brake and shook his head. "Sorry about that."

She smiled. "The pothole or the kiss?"

Michael licked his bottom lip deliberating over what to say to her next. He wasn't expecting such an outright expletive of their stolen moment. He looked back at her and there she was, waiting for an answer.

"The pothole," Michael said quietly and pursed his lips. He felt the blush on his neck and wondered when was the last time that a woman had made him blush.

"That's what I figured," Maria smiled to herself and went back to looking out the window. This was a whole new blank page in front of her now and she was afraid she wasn't going to turn back.

Kyle Valenti was heavy on her conscience. Part of her knew that they didn't have much between them anymore, not more than the sense of a family. Family was important; but she didn't think it was worth losing out on the rest of her life for. She'd always love him, she had decided that before, but she knew now she wasn't actually in love with him anymore. In her heart she was perfectly aware that if it still belonged to Kyle, there was no temptation in the world that make her hurt him. Essentially, that's what she had done and he didn't even know it yet.

The drive back to the station seemed longer than it really was for Michael. He fought every intention he had of looking at her. There were other things going on now; he felt himself sliding away from the most important thing in his life for the last two years into unknown territory.

He parked the Mercedes in the lot at the station and took a deep breath before looking at Maria. He turned off the car and took another deep breath.

"Are you going to hyperventilate?" Maria asked cocking her head to one side. "I don't have a paper bag or anything."

He laughed. "No, I'll be fine." He ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean…"

"To kiss me?" She offered and began to feel giddy with his discomfort.

He didn't want to lie to her, but the truth seemed too…pathetic. He had wanted to kiss her. He had been desiring to kiss her. "No. I wanted to kiss you." He congratulated himself on taking the truth road. "It was just a bad time, I mean, I guess there is no good time, but then seemed to be a really bad time." He stuttered on his words and felt like he was seventeen.

"It's okay," she touched his arm.

Michael smiled behind his dark glasses oblivious to anything else in the world at that precise moment except the fair-haired woman next to him, touching him. A knocking at the window nearly caused him to pull his gun. He looked to Maria's half down window as her hand retreated from him. It was the sheriff and he didn't look happy.

"Kyle!" Maria exclaimed and put her hand over her heart. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry," Kyle mumbled. The dark glasses on his eyes were meant to disguise his attention, but it was obvious it was completely on Agent Michael Guerin. "Maria, could I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" He didn't wait for an answer. He stepped away from the car and walked towards a cacti garden in a median of the lot.

"I'll be back," Maria sighed and got out of the car, clutching the letter from Liz in her hand.

Michael watched her and ran his hands through his hair. He got out of the car and went inside straight to the war room without looking back at them.

*        *         *

"What's that?" Kyle asked pointing to the letter.

"From Liz," Maria's eyes lit up although the sting of melancholia was visible if looking. "An apology for us not being close anymore and she wanted me to be her maid of honor."

Kyle nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about the way things turned out for you two."

"I know, me too." She looked to the letter in her hand. "A few more days and…"

"You don't know what would have happened, Maria." He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "Don't speculate on what could have been."

She nodded and memories of Michael's lips on hers were pushed into the abyss. Now wasn't the time to make any snap decisions. Now wasn't the time to change her life. Too much had happened in the last few days to make a life-altering judgment.

"Okay, now comes the business part of this talk." He squeezed her hand. "I was worried when you left with the Fed, I'd prefer it if you checked in with the desk when you are going anywhere-"

"I'm sorry," she interrupted him and withdrew her hand from his. "Are you telling me we have to check in and out when we go somewhere? Is that what you're saying? Because if that's what you're saying then I'm about to get really mad."

"Maria-"

"I don't think this is junior high Kyle. We're trying to do a job here in case you forgot. Someone killed my friend and I'm going to find out who the hell it was! I'm not checking in with anyone. End of discussion. We'll go where we need to go and do what we need to do. There's no need to worry about me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and besides, I'm with an FBI agent for Christ's sake."

"I could pull you off of this, you know that, right?" Kyle lowered his sunglasses to make sure she saw the seriousness in his eyes.

"Pull me off?" Maria took a step backwards. "You can't pull me off."

"Technically I can," Kyle sighed. "I don't like what's going on around here, Maria. There, that's the gist of it."

"I don't understand Kyle, but if you think I'm not going to help find the sick fuck who killed Liz, then you are obviously insane." She unpinned her deputy badge from her shirt, her fingers closed tight around it.  "I'll quit Kyle and I'll do this on my own time, if I have to." She outstretched her hand to him and opened her palm. The shiny badge of honor trembled on her flesh. Her honor.

"Damn it!" Kyle yelled and kicked the rocks around the cacti. "I don't want you to quit. I want you to succeed; I want you to succeed at everything…But I don't want to lose you Maria, and I think I might be close. Am I?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything Kyle."

"I won't give you up without a fight, you realize that, don't you?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No. I'm just telling you how it is. We have a history Maria and I don't want to give you up. I won't just give you up."

"Kyle-"

"Let me finish. I see the way you look at him; I'm not fucking blind. It's the same way you used to look at me." He faced her. "Am I losing you to him?"

Maria remembered the sensation of his lips on hers. She didn't know. She didn't know anything. A few days ago her world changed. Every single bit of everything she knew changed. A sadness emerged followed by an attraction and a heartfelt ache. She shook her head. "I just want to find who killed Liz."

Kyle nodded in defeat and turned towards his 4X4. "Will you be home tonight?"

"I'll try, okay? Remember, call my cell if you need me." She said quietly.

"I do need you." Kyle mumbled and walked away.

Maria watched him climb into the 4X4 as the world she knew crumbled. The part of her that knew the securities of Kyle Valenti and the life he wanted to spend with her ached. The part that wanted adventure and something new was thriving. She looked to the letter in her hand and wished Liz was still alive. She wished her friend was alive because right now, Maria DeLuca felt utterly alone and confused.

She took a few breaths and made her way into the station and down the hall to the war room. Her mind wasn't on the kiss anymore; her mind was on her future. She closed the door in back of her and saw Agent Guerin on his cell phone. She sat and waited. He hung up and looked at her. "My old assistant at the Bureau. Natalie. She's the one who takes care of my bills for me."

"Really?" Maria said unenthusiastically while annoyed with herself for the pang of jealousy.

"She takes of all the mundane stuff while I'm out…"

"Saving the world?"

"While I'm out trying to avenge needless murder."

Maria nodded and felt stupid for making light of his objective and her petty and unfounded jealousy. "She just does it for you, or is it a mandatory part of her job?"

"She just does it. Her and Lorelei were almost friends, I think she just feels sorry for me." He cocked his head to one side. "Are you okay?" He asked pulling up a chair next to her.

She shrugged. "Kyle's being ignorant. He threatened to pull me off this case."

"Why?" Michael asked leaning forward and knew he sounded entirely too eager. He couldn't help it. After this afternoon he couldn't imagine working on this without Maria. He couldn't imagine much without her.

She shrugged again. "It's over, don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere." She met his eyes. "I promise."

Michael relaxed and sat back in his chair. "So, what did you think about Max Evans today?"

"I thought he was okay considering everything. He didn't try to bite my head off and that's a plus. I felt bad for him; he seems so lost without Liz. I wish we were better friends, I felt helpless."

Michael nodded. "That's what I was getting off him. Was his portrait of Liz accurate? Was she really that sweet?" He tried to shake the feeling of her lips on his.

Maria nodded and glanced to the letter still in her hand; a painful reminder of a lost friend and new passion. "She was." She shook her head trying to literally clear her mind. "Did you get a letter after Betsey?"

Michael nodded. Back to work and away from the distraction of a kiss. "That was the first one that was delivered to the hotel before I checked in." He opened the box next to him and pulled out the envelope. The envelope that held the key, he was sure of it but he still couldn't put it together. "That's when I began to believe that he knew me as well as I knew myself. Why I even picked that hotel to stay at, I don't know. Everything after that was sent to wherever I stayed. There was always a letter waiting for me at each new place."

"Do you think he's psychic?" Maria shook her head. "No, that would be stupid."

"I thought of it too." Michael admitted. "But I don't think so." He handed her the letter. "He just knows the way my brain works and what I like."

Maria nodded and opened the letter after putting Liz's carefully inside her purse.

Agent Guerin

Minds are weak
Wasn't she fun?
Time is of the essence
I think I've won.

Taste of the sorrow
Hear the shouts and cries
Yesterday is history
The future means she dies.

Agent Guerin attempting to link.
Agent Guerin is your heart where you think?

Maria read the poem a couple times and looked up at Michael. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He smiled and shook his head. "I wish I knew Maria, I wish I knew."

"You sure you don't have any deep mental issues I should know about?" Maria cracked a smile. "I mean, this guy writes like he's doing all of this for you. He's taunting you and leading you on. I know he's after you. He has to be."

"But why?" Michael reached across air and touched her hand. "Why?"

Maria shook her head and wished she knew the answer. She wanted to know the answer to a lot of things. "Because of who you are."

"Who am I?"

She shook her head and blushed. The forgotten kiss remembered. "You're Agent Michael." She leaned forward and licked her lips.
*          *          *
Chapter Seventeen


"I guess I am," Michael licked his lips and met her halfway. His hands found homes on her neck as he drew her closer to him. Staring into the eyes of a woman he barely knew, sinking deeper with each passing second. "Maria."

She nodded and tilted her head as she reached to him; the back of her hand caressed his cheek, her fingernails tickled his earlobe.

He parted his mouth and licked his lips again. His brow furrowed, his hands glided through her hair. He tilted his head opposite of her and exhaled slowly. "Maria," he said her name again.

"Are you going to keep saying my name or are you going to kiss me?" She smiled and leaned into him meeting his lips with hers.

Her hands snaked around his neck while his traced circles on her back with his own. The gentleness of the first kiss was succeeded by the wonton need of the second. Michael felt recharged; a new perspective in a gloomy and overall desolate existence. Michael Guerin felt life stream through him.  The feel of her velvety lips, the smell of her lip gloss, the softness of her hair; the new sensations pulling Michael out of the life he had known into the unknown and unexpected.

He broke away from her first this time, his hands still on her back. "Why Maria?"

"Why what?" She asked and shook her head pulling a little further away from him. "Why am I kissing you or why are you kissing me?"

"Me. Why are you kissing me?" Michael's hands dropped from her back as she sat up straight.

"I wanted to…" Her voice quivered.

"What about Kyle?" His words were breathy.

"I don't love Kyle anymore." She said out loud what she had said to herself so many times before. "I thought that…"

"Is it because you feel sorry for me?" Michael hated asking the question for fear of the answer.

"Feel sorry for you?" Maria laughed. "I don't feel sorry for you Agent Guerin. I feel bad that someone you loved was taken from you, so yeah, in that aspect I feel sorry. Otherwise, you're just a man on a job."

"It's more-"

"I know it's more than a job, it is for me too. But that has nothing to do with why I kissed you. Why I wanted you to kiss me," she stood and paced in front of him. "I feel something when I'm around you that I can't explain. It's almost electric."

"Enthralling." He offered.

"Exhilarating." She looked at him with heat in her eyes.

"Stimulating."

"Fresh."

"New." His eyes lit up.

"Real." She said slowly.

"Real," he echoed her and took her hand. "Very real. I feel it too. Almost from the first time we met. I don't know why or how it happened. I wasn't looking…"

"Neither was I." She squeezed his hand.

"But we work together," he let her hand go. "I can't let this newfound realness interfere with my case."

"Our case."

"Our case," he smiled at her.

"I don't want it to interfere either. I want this bastard as much as you do. And in case you didn't notice, I'm already in a relationship," she tried to pull off coy but failed. "Damn it! I wasn't looking for you! I wasn't looking for anyone!"

Michael nodded. He was right beside her in that aspect. He hadn't been looking; he hadn't even given it a thought. "I know…"

"You don't know, you don't know anything about me Agent Michael!" She started to pace in front of him again. "I didn't want to feel anything for you at all and low and behold, here we are sneaking a kiss in the war room while they," she pointed to the table of crime scene photographs," are staring at us and waiting for us to do something. Waiting."

He glanced to the faces of death and nodded. "That I do know."

"Well, then, whatever all this," she waved her hands in the air, "stuff is going on with us will have to be put on hold. Right? I mean we have a job to do and then when it's over maybe we can…"

He nodded slowly. "Then maybe we can," he smelled jasmine as she walked by him and knew there was no way he was going to be able to push all the thoughts of her away until the case was solved. The case might never be solved.

"I don't have anything except for Kyle," Maria said surprising herself with her honesty. "I don't have anything else to fall back on. I have my job, my unstable mother and Kyle."

"Let's just say that now you have me too, okay?" He smiled and felt his heart ache for her. The sadness dripping from her normally upbeat voice was wrenching. "Let's solve these murders and then we'll see what develops."

She nodded and smiled; happily stepping away from her outpour of openness. She touched the letter she had left on the table earlier. The one that came after Betsey.

"Back to business," she sat down and reread the letter. "This part bothers me 'the future means she dies.' Okay, who dies? Betsey? Already dead. Who's next? Who's number five?"

"Sara Finely." He shook his head. "No connection."

Maria bit back the words of there being a connection that just hadn't been established yet. "How about the last two lines: 'attempting to link' and 'is your heart where you think?' How creepy is that?"

"Pretty creepy." Michael agreed and smiled at the way she read the poem over and over trying to pull something out of dead air.

"I don't get it. He's crazy and he's trying to tell you something that neither one of us can see. Why these girls? What was there about them that connects to you? Betsey Randolph. Tell me how you are connected to her."

"Not at all, I was never even in Arkansas until after she was killed."

"But this was the first time the letter arrived at the hotel before you did, right?"

"Right…" He said slowly.

"Who else knew you would be there? That Natalie? Does she know your plans?"

"Natalie," Michael smiled hearing the jealousy bite through the question. "No, Natalie doesn't know where I'm staying until I after I get there. Besides, all Natalie does is pay my bills for me. She's more of a motherly type. Her and Lorelei were just getting to know each other before she was killed. Now Natalie thinks she needs to take care of me; so I let her pay my bills. I mean, with my money, of course."

"Of course," Maria smiled with the appreciation of Michael telling her that Natalie wasn't a threat in the way that he did.

"What I don't understand is how he says that time is of the essence. Obviously it wasn't then and it's not now." He sighed. "He takes his time. He lets me spend about two months with these families until I feel like I know these girls…"

"Why? I mean why does he do that? Why does he let you get that close to this victims?" Maria looked thoughtfully at the poem. "Because he wants you to. He wants you to know them. He wants you to feel for them. He wants you to care about them."

"I do care about them, I care about all of them. It's all I've cared about until just recently," he shrugged. "I've been living for them."

"He's winning," Maria flipped through her notes. "In the first one he said 'can you care?' He's making you care. I don't know why, but he is. He had a plan in his head and he's living it out on you. You're doing exactly what he says, so far at least. I mean I'll have to read them all to know, but you're their savior. You couldn't save them while they were alive, but you're doing your best to make sure you save them now."

"Save them from what?" Michael asked running both hands through his hair.

"From dying in vain."

*        *         *

Kyle Valenti drove through his town ignoring speeders and red-light runners. They didn't matter to him, not today. Today had been pivotal. Today he learned the fate that Maria was going to hand deliver him. They were over soon; it was just a matter of time and formalities now.

"Fuck!" He slammed his fist into the already cracked dashboard.

All the images of him fighting for Maria's love were still staring him in the face. He wasn't letting go, he made a promise to himself that what ever happened from this point on he was going to fight for her. He knew she had to still love him, people just didn't fall out of love overnight.

But people could fall in love overnight and he was afraid that was what was happening between Maria DeLuca and hotshot FBI Agent Michael Guerin. Kyle cursed the coming of the Fed, and then he cursed the death of his friend, Liz.

Too many thoughts were running rampant in his brain to focus on just one. There were too many options that needed to be considered. The one in front was asking if he loved Maria enough to let her go.
*          *         *
Chapter Eighteen


Maria DeLuca spent the remainder of the afternoon and into the early evening learning all she could about Sara Finely. Sara Finely had been found not far off her parent's property at the entrance to their working-class subdivision in Jacksonville Florida.

Sara Finely with her simple haircut and pale blue eyes. Her never-ending battle with an eating disorder. Her crush on her next-door neighbor and her routine visits to the dermatologist for bouts of post-adolescence acne.

Sara had been a student at the University who got good grades and wanted to become an accountant. She thrived on numbers. Maria would now always think of her as number five.

Sara's body had been found less than eight hours after her mother had last seen her. She was on her way to a study group that she never showed up for. Her body had been discovered by a neighbor pulling into the subdivision whose headlights had the misfortune to land on Sara's nude body. She was still warm when the authorities arrived.

"This is all so sad," Maria commented looking at the photo of Sara's body propped up against one of the stone pillars designating the subdivision. "I don't know…"

"How I can look at them day after day?" Michael leaned over her and smiled when he felt her head turn ever so slightly into him. "I have to Maria. It's what I do. I know these girls as well as any of their family or friends. I know everything about them except for the one thing that's most crucial. Why they died."

"I've only met five of them and there are still five more to meet. I don't have to meet Liz, I already knew everything about her." She heard the sadness drift through her words and it burned.

"Maybe you didn't…"

"No, I did." Maria snapped then sighed. "I just…I don't know, everything is so fucked up right now I don't know if I'm coming or going. I mean, a few days ago I was semi-happy living my dull life. I answered the phones and went home to Kyle knowing I'd always do that. Then in the blink of an eye, it all changed."

He laid her hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath. He wanted to say something, but words eluded him.

"One minute I'm just hanging out at home watching some stupid morning talk show on my day off and all is well. Then I find out my best friend was murdered." Maria wiped her almost wet eyes. "I meet you and my world spins out of control." She laughed through the new tears. "Now I don't know which way is up; I don't know if I'm doing or saying the right things. I don't want to hurt anyone. Everyone's been hurt enough. I don't want to be happy when Liz is in the ground and Max's life has been forever altered. I want to be sad, I want to mourn…"

"Do you think Liz would want you to be sad?" Michael knelt on the floor in back of her and spoke directly into her ear. Maria shook her head. "You'll always miss her, you'll always wonder what life would be like if she were still here, but don't let it control you."

"Like you?"

"Exactly like me." He sighed. "For two years I've done nothing but hunt. I've spent every hour of every day trying to track this bastard down. Trying to understand why me, why did he pick me and what the fuck is he trying to tell me. Don't throw your life away on something you might never achieve."

She swung around in her chair and faced him. Her eyes bore deep into his. "Don't say that. Any of that! You're not throwing your life away and we will figure this out. You and me, Michael. Together we can do it." She took his hand and squeezed it. "I think we can do almost anything if we stick together."

He averted his gaze from hers and wondered when the pep talk had changed from him giving it, to her. "I know, we said we'd wait and see if anything developed between us until after we solve this," he looked at the floor suddenly embarrassed. "But there's just one thing I want to tell you. Okay, two things."

"Okay." She whispered and felt tingles somewhere deep inside of her.

"For the first time since this started, I've never felt more confident about finding this murderer."

"And the second thing…" She smiled.

"And for the first time in two years, I feel alive. When I'm around you I feel like there might be a life away from all this doom and gloom. You showed me that and I thank you."

"You're very welcome Agent Michael," Maria blushed and let go of his hand. "Okay, now enough of this personal crap, let's get back to work."

"Dinner."

"Excuse me?"

"Do you want to get dinner somewhere? It's getting late and I'm starving." Michael smiled and rubbed his stomach. "Do you hear it growling?"

Maria laughed. "You have just officially broken every stereotype of a FBI agent that I've ever had!"

"Yeah DeLuca, you've broken a few of deputies too." He extended his hand to her. "Let's go get something to eat and then we'll get back to work. Okay?"

Maria took his hand and stood up as the door to the war room opened and Sheriff Kyle Valenti stood in the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked solidly while staring at the clasped hands.

Maria snatched her hand away from Michael's. "We were just going to go get something to eat." She smiled but knew it didn't look genuine.

"That's why I stopped by, to see if you wanted to have dinner with me since I guess you'll be working late," Kyle looked to Michael, "with him."

"Oh, okay." Maria looked at Michael with pleading eyes. "Do you mind eating alone? I should…"

"Go ahead," he smiled and wondered if his looked as fake as hers. "I'll just go back to the B&B. Maybe Isabel can scrounge me up some dinner. I'll meet you back here in about an hour or so?"

Maria nodded and walked away from him leaving a part of herself behind. With one look over her shoulder at him, she walked away.

*        *         *

"Damn," Michael muttered under his breath and sat back down. "This is all wrong. We're playing a game and no one is going to win if we keep it up."

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He smiled to himself thinking about the way Maria was rationalizing things. The way she opened herself up to him for brief moments, sometimes just a sentence and then went back to work. In a way, he felt sorry for her. Too many emotions were happening at the exact same time. Too much newness. Too much reality to fully comprehend. He understood what she told him. This was her life, here in Roswell, with Kyle. She spilled the beans on not loving him anymore, but almost in the same breath said she doesn't have anything else.

If anything were to develop between them, he knew it was going to take time and Michael wasn't sure how much time there was left. How much time was there before there was another murder and he left Roswell? How much time was there left until…Until he realized he was living for something else besides the dead girls?

He ran his hands through his hair and smiled thinking about the way Maria had chastised him about that. It was a nervous habit that he was desperately trying to break.

He glanced at his watch and heard his stomach grumbling again and decided to head back to the B&B and plead with Isabel Whitman for something to eat. He didn't dare risk going anywhere else in town for fear of seeing Maria and the Sheriff.

*        *         *

Maria tried hard not to sigh as she took her seat across an oaken table from Kyle. He picked a restaurant they both enjoyed; one where they had first kissed in the parking lot. One that held too many memories.

"Thanks for having dinner with me," Kyle said over the top of his menu.

"Sure," she smiled. "I was getting hungry." Her attention went to the words in front of her. She wasn't reading the menu; it was just words that accompanied food. Food that was dinner. Dinner that was being shared with Kyle when it should have been with Agent Michael Guerin.

"Yeah," he set his menu down as the waitress approached the table. He ordered for them both.

Maria didn't dispute the action; Kyle knew what she liked. Kyle knew everything about her. Everything except for what may be the most important thing. She wasn't happy.

"So, are you and the Fed making any progress?" He asked and reached across the table. He rubbed a circle with the tip of his forefinger on the back of her hand. "On the case." He clarified without looking at her.

"Um…Not really. Not yet anyway." She closed her eyes and counted to five. The tickling on the back of her hand was about to send her through the roof. "But we will. I'm still learning about the others."

Kyle nodded and looked into her eyes. "Are you going to be home tonight or are you going to be with him?"

Maria took a deep breath afraid of the answer she was about to deliver. "I'll probably be at the station."

Kyle nodded. "With him."

"With him," she admitted and felt a tightening in her chest. The familiarity of Kyle's touch, his lips, his face, the way he laughed when she rambled. All of it flooded her and she bowed her head. "I don't know what…"

"Sshhh…." He slid his hand under hers and squeezed gently. "It's a rough time Maria, I understand that. I understand the excitement about working on a big case. I can understand a lot of things."

She looked at him and saw the sweet face of Kyle Valenti. The man whose heart she was bound to break.

"I'm sorry if I came on a little strong earlier today," he took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I've been thinking too much about us. I know that the most important thing to you right now is to find Liz's killer, and it should be. There'll be time for us later, when this is over."

"Kyle-"

"No, just listen. I don't know exactly what's going on with you and the Fed. I don't know if I really want to know. Just remember this Maria; I'm the one who loves you, I'm the one who's been there for you the whole time. I'll be the one who's still going to be here when he leaves town."

Maria nodded. A future written in stone weighed on her shoulders. An unwanted fate. She wanted nothing more now that to get back to work. She wanted to read the letters and see the end of this through. She wanted to get back and meet the rest of Michael's girls; the ones he was living for. She wanted to get back to Michael Guerin.
*           *             *

Chapter Nineteen

Maria was antsy as dinner was being finished. She didn't talk about the case with Kyle, she talk about anything. He tried and she fell flat in the conversation department. She wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else. With someone else.

Kyle paid the bill and walked her to the 4X4. He helped her in and walked around to the other side. He started the engine and looked at her. "Maria," he leaned over and cupped her chin with his hand. "I love you."

She nodded. "I know."

"You can't even say it back to me?" He tried to look into her avoiding eyes. "Maria?"

"I don't know anything Kyle," she sighed while still averting her gaze. "I can't think straight, I'm being torn…And I'm confused."

"Is it because of him? Is that why you feel this way?" He dropped his hand from her face. "I told you, I'll still be here when he leaves, okay?"

She nodded and then whispered, "maybe I won't be."

"So," Kyle's tenderness drained from his tone. The harshness was back form that afternoon. "So you're just going to drop everything and run off with the Fed? Is that it? Leave everything behind and not look back? I thought you were a better person Maria, I thought you were responsible."

"I am," she folded her hands in her lap.

"Are you fucking him?"

"What?" Maria asked startled at the abruptness of the question.

"Are you fucking him?"

"No," she shook her head and pursed her lips together. "No Kyle, I am not fucking him."

He put the 4X4 in gear and floored it out of the parking lot leaving a trail of dust and sand behind them.

Silence prevailed on the ride back to the station. Each was consumed with their own thoughts. Kyle kept his foot steady on the gas, anger etched in the lines of his face.
Maria kept her eyes closed for most of the ride. Everything Kyle had said to her was stamped into her mind. He had been right on so many levels. To even think about leaving Roswell was to shirk her responsibilities. Kyle had always been there for her, always. Through some of the roughest time she had always had Kyle's shoulder to cry on. His arms to engulf her and make her feel safe. His love to give her hope, his hope to give her confidence. Now she was getting her confidence form somewhere she hadn't planned on. Someone she had never imagined falling into her life.

The needs of Maria DeLuca a week earlier were gone. She didn't need the security of a routine relationship. She didn't need the knowing that she always had a home to go back to. She needed more. She needed to stretch her wings and soar. See what else life had to offer her with one stipulation. Not letting everyone in her wingspan get hurt.

Kyle pulled up in front of the steps leading into the station. He glanced to the side and saw Agent Guerin's Mercedes. "He's already here."

Maria nodded and opened the door. The dome light cast a sallow glow on the couple. She thought about reaching to him and touching his hand; but that was something she didn't need anymore. Maria DeLuca didn't need Kyle Valenti anymore.

"I'll be home later," she said quietly unable to meet his eyes.

He shrugged and laughed bitterly. "It's your choice."

She got out of the car and shut the door. She turned to talk to him through the open window but he sped away out of the lot. She gathered up her strength and renewed faith in herself and walked inside the station with her head held high.

She walked down the hall to the war room and pushed the door open. Michael was seated at one of the tables, fast food wrappings in front of him. A cup in his hand and a straw in his mouth.

"Hi." She walked to him and felt the heat rising. "You ate here? Alone?"

He shrugged. "I went to the B&B, but it didn't seem right for me to demand food from Isabel so I walked down to the burger place and brought food back here." He held the cup up to her. "Strawberry shake, want some?"

She licked her lips and lowered her head taking the straw in-between her coral colored lips. She met his eyes as she sucked up the strawberry. She let go of the straw and licked her lips. "That is a good shake."

"Yeah…" Michael watched her mouth. He reached to her and extended his forefinger. He ran it along her bottom lip. "Strawberry…" He closed his eyes when he felt her tongue on his finger.

"So," Maria backed away from him. "I guess it's time for the next letter, huh? The one that came after Sara."

He nodded and took a few shallow breaths. "Yeah, actually I got two after Sara. One was waiting for me at the hotel; the other came a few weeks later. After I was already emerged in her life." He handed her the letter he knew she'd be waiting for. "How was dinner?"

"Honestly?" She snorted. "It sucked. I would have rather been anywhere else but there, actually. Kyle's…He's being himself I guess. He's having issues and…" She shook her head and opened the envelope.

Michael placed his hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Not really." She smiled and shrugged. "Let's just get to work on this. The sooner we find the killer, the sooner we can get on with our respective lives."

Michael didn't remove his hand. "Is Kyle making things hard?'

"No one is making anything hard," she said defiantly but then soothed down. "I'm the only one who's doing that to myself. All the choices are easy; it's taking the first step to get to them that's hard. Hey, do you know if there's an available room at Isabel's?"

"Why?"

"I think I need to stay there and not go home." Maria answered quietly and turned her head down to the letter.

Agent Guerin.

Alone at this passing
Forever in your heart?
Nearly the core of my duty
And you can't make a start.

Straying by thinking
Alone in your quest
Who's my next victim
Who's your next guest?

Agent Guerin alone with your dead heart.
Agent Guerin lives for them not knowing his part.

"I don't think your heart is dead," Maria looked at him. "I don't think it is at all. If your heart was dead then you wouldn't have sacrificed your life for these girls; to make sure they didn't die in vain. I think this asshole is just nuts."

"That's what I love about you," he laughed. "I think you're right. At least now I do. A few weeks ago might have been a different story, but tonight, I agree." He met her gaze and saw the need in her eyes. "Come home with me tonight."

"I…I can't do that." She shook her head and went back to the letter.

"No," he smiled and shook his head. "Let me rephrase that. Come home with me tonight and we'll work there. I guess I forgot to add the end on there, huh? Sometimes a change of venue is a necessity."

"I don't think that would be such good idea." She smiled demurely. "I should call Isabel and see if she has room…" She got her cell phone out of her purse and called the B&B.

Michael listened to the one sided conversation and knew there wasn't a room for her. She hung up and looked at him.

"No room?"

"No room," she sighed and glanced at the clock. "Well, I'll just stay here until I know Kyle's gone in the morning and then I can go home…"

He nodded. "I'll stay too. We'll work all night and then we can go out to breakfast.
How does that sound?"

She nodded eagerly. "Thanks Michael."

"For you, anything." He smiled. He knew he was slipping up now. He was getting too involved too fast. After the case was over. That had been decided and with reason. He was outside his rights as a man to go any further at this point in time. She was in a long-term relationship that she wasn't out of, and at this rate he wasn't sure she really wanted out.

Maria smiled and turned her attention back to the letter in front of her. "So he thinks you have a dead heart and you're living for the dead girls. He's got half of it right. But the last bit 'not knowing your part'? What the hell? Your part in the murders? I mean I know he's doing this for you but you don't have a freakin' clue who or why." She tapped the letter. "Back up, does he want you to guess the next victim? How the hell are you supposed to do that? I mean seriously, it's not like he's making a picture on a map, he's jumping around…" She looked at him and smiled when she saw him smiling at her. "What?"

"You won't give up," he ran his hands through his hair. "You're not letting anything stand in your way. You're going to know this case as well as I do."

"Yeah, so we'll have something else in common." She raised an eyebrow at him and stood up.

He swallowed audibly as she neared him. He closed his eyes when he smelled jasmine. He parted his lips when he felt hers on his.

"I thought we were going to wait and see…" He whispered and backed away.

"I don't want to be alone," she admitted with a cracked voice and sank against him.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight wondering if she could feel the pounding of his heart.
*       *        *

Chapter Twenty

Michael held her heaving body against his. The fear of being alone was what she was holding on to.  He sighed knowing if she went to him now; it would be for all the wrong reasons. He smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head. He stepped back and held her at arms length. He brushed back a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Maria, don't do this." He shook his head. "You're making decisions you're not ready to make. You want to make life-altering changes in a time of grief; that's not always such a great move."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right, kind of. I want more out of life than what I have. That includes my relationship with Kyle. I love him, but I know for a fact I'm not in love with him. Not that that is really any of your concern." She said the last bit a little too bitterly and thought about apologizing; but didn't. She shrugged. "I didn't mean to dump my personal problems on you, I'll to keep them private from now on, Agent Guerin."

She turned away from him and sat back down. She picked up the last letter she had been reading and looked at it. The words were blurring together as she fought to keep the tears away.

"Maria," he said quietly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I don't want you to feel that way. I want to know about the personal things, I want to know everything about you. But what I don't want is for you make a decision that you're going to end up regretting. Okay?"

She nodded and focussed in on the words in front of her. "I have to figure this out, okay?"

He nodded and sat back down next to her. "I don't want you to regret anything, Maria. My life is already filled with regret, I don't need any more."

She looked at him as the tears that had never quite formed evaporated. "I promise Agent Michael, I will make not one life altering decision without thinking it all the way through. How's that?"

"Not for me, do it for yourself." He licked his bottom lip and hungered to kiss her despite everything he had said to her. "I don't want you to regret me." Michael sighed. There, that was it, she could make him spill his innermost thoughts with a word or a gesture. "I don't want to end up being rebound guy."

Maria looked thoughtfully at him then laughed. "Rebound guy, huh? Once again, stereotypes have been broken." She reached out a tentative hand and placed it on his. "I am a thoroughly confused woman right now. I told you that earlier and I'll say it again, I don't know what to do or feel. I just want to be happy. Is that wrong? Am I being selfish for wanting to be happy?"

He shook his head. "No, everyone deserves some happiness in their life, you're no exception Maria." He nodded towards the letter in her other hand. "When we end this, when we get the bad guy, we'll see where we stand, okay?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Deal. I'd like to say it was 'sealed with a kiss' but that would be wrong. Right?"

He nodded and smiled. "Right."

She raised an eyebrow at him and returned her attention to the letter at hand. "Okay, he doesn't want you to guess the next victim, which would be impossible because he's nuts. 'Your next guest?' I don't get it. It's not like you're running a motel. Guest?"

"I know, I had a problem with that too. I've been a guest at some of the homes of the girls, but I've never hosted." He leaned over and reread the letter. "'Who's my next victim? Who's your next guest?' See, that one got me. At least the others, as vague as they are, make somewhat sense but this whole 'guest' thing-"

"Guest!" Maria exclaimed. "You are hosting!"

"What?" Michael shook his head at her excitement. "What am I hosting?"

"You're like," she snapped wildly in the air," like a hotel, kind of. Ugh! You're the one place that all of the victims reconnect at. They all go to you. You've said it yourself; they're all yours. You live for them. You are the carrier of them!"

Michael rubbed his eyes and briefly wondered how he ever made it through Quantico. "Maria."

"What?" Her eyes turned downtrodden. "I'm wrong."

"No, No!" Michael shook his head. "You're absolutely right, I am like a hotel, in a strange sort of way. I am harboring each and every one of their souls."

"He's telling you that. He's telling you, not asking you! He telling you that his next victim will be your next guest. His next victim will stay with you, just like they all had!" Maria was excited again. She shimmied in her chair and smiled broadly. "Ha! See, he's not so smart. You just needed a fresh pair of eyes to look this over with you. We'll get it Michael. We'll get it."

"Before he kills again?"

Maria nodded. "Yeah. I think, no, I know so."

*        *        *

As the night wore on, Maria went back through each of the letters she'd read so far and speculated what they meant. "He's obsessed with you." She picked up her empty coffee cup and sighed. "I need more caffeine."

"No, I don't think you do." He nodded towards the empty pot. He looked at his watch. "We've been going over this all night, it's after six. Breakfast? I did promise."

She nodded and stood up. "Sounds great." She grabbed her purse and a legal pad. "Just in case I think of anything over pancakes."

They left the station as the day was just beginning for the others. Maria thanked her lucky stars they were getting out before Kyle got there. They walked across the lot and got in Michael's Mercedes. He followed her directions to a bagel and coffee place and parked in front. Maria's hand lingered on the door handle.

"What?" Michael asked.

She pointed. "Max's car. I guess he's inside."

"You want to try somewhere else?"

"No," she shook her head. "I can't run from everyone, can I?"

He shook his head and watched her get out of the car. They walked inside BagelJoe's and stood in line; Maria scanned the crowd until her eyes settled on Max.

"Sesame seed with cream cheese and coffee. De-caf," she smiled and walked away.
She took a deep breath and approached Max Evans' table. He was sitting alone with a half-eaten bagel in front of him and a latté of some kind. The morning's paper open on the table in front of him.

"Max." She said quietly.

He looked up through red eyes and nodded. "Maria."

"Can I sit for a minute?"

He waited a beat before giving her the nod again. He motioned to the chair across from him.

"Are you, no, I know you're not okay." Maria shook her head. "I'm trying hard not to say something stupid or uncaring and I can't seem to do it. Do you need anything?"

"No," he shook his head. "But thank you."

She let out a sigh of relief. "I am here if you need anything, okay? I just want you to know that."

"Actually, I do need something. I need to know why it was Liz."

Maria nodded. "Max, I can promise you I'll find out. I loved Liz and I'll make sure I find out why it was her."

He nodded and almost smiled. "I know you will, if nothing else, you're stubborn."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment Mr. Evans," Maria smiled.

"Do. I also wanted to apologize for the way I acted at the funeral. I was out of line and I'm sorry."

Maria nodded at a loss for words. She looked over her shoulder and saw Michael holding a tray. "I should go, my breakfast."

"Find him, Maria. If you need my help with anything, tell me. I won't be able to rest until I know why."

Maria nodded and touched his hand before pointing to a table on the other side of the building. She met Michael there and sat across from him.

"How is he?"

"He's better," she smeared cream cheese over her bagel. "He apologized and offered to help."

Michael nodded and accepted the answer without probing further. The boyfriends were always eager to help, at least in the beginning. Eventually they moved on too. He didn't think Max Evans would be any different, but he was finding out lately that a lot of things surprised him.

*        *        *

After breakfast, Michael dropped Maria off at the station and noted that the Sheriff's 4X4 was parked next to her Miata. He watched as she got in her little convertible and put the top down. He smiled as she sped out of the lot and down the street. The promise to meet back in the war room late in the afternoon loomed heavy on him. He didn't want to see her go, he wanted to be with her. For all the right reasons; he wanted to be with Maria DeLuca.

He drove to the B&B and went inside. After brief greetings with Alex Whitman he went to him room and turned the shower on. He stripped down and waited until the tiny bathroom was steamy before stepping under the water.

Washing away doubts. Washing away misgivings. Washing away fears.

*        *        *

Maria drove home and went to bed. She curled up on the Queen size mattress and immediately drifted off to sleep.

 The heat from his breath was making her crazy. She arched her back and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down to her, into her. She cried out in ecstasy as she felt him inside of her, loving her, wanting her, needing her.

"Michael," she whispered.

"Maria," he said into her ear as he bent his head down to hers. "You're the one. You've always been the one, I just didn't know it."

She parted her lips and welcomed his tongue into her mouth. His hands on her breasts, rolling her nipples, kneading into milky flesh.

"I'm the savior," he whispered. "I'm the reason. I witness the pain and I absorb it, I absorb all of them. They are mine. My heart was dead but it's come alive. The future means she dies. She dies. She dies."

"You can't save them all." Maria heard herself whisper.

"Am I as smart as I think? Pretty little maidens. She was an angel, tried and true. I lost her to the devil. Can I care?"

Maria murmured into his chest as he thrust into her. "Lorelei. It's Lorelei."

"Lost to the devil."

"It's you he wants. He knows you." Her voice was ragged. "I have to read the rest. I have to know why, Michael."

"The future means she dies."

Maria sat up and wiped sweat from her eyes. "Oh shit. That was bad."

She glanced at the clock; almost three in the afternoon. She had to get back to the war room and read the rest of the letters. The key had to be in the letters.
*          *            *

Chapter Twenty One


Maria got out of bed and went straight into the shower. Washing away the erotic dreams of Michael Guerin and trying to piece together what the hell the letters meant. After making sure her legs were smooth, she got out and walked into the bedroom drying off as she went. Her hair was dripping wet; rivulets of water ran down her back and chest as she deliberated on what to wear for an evening of investigating.

She chose denim shorts and a white cotton tank top. Adding socks and boots and tying a plaid button-down shirt around her waist her outfit was compete. Spending a few extra minutes with blow drying and styling her hair and a few more applying eye make-up, she was ready to tackle the evening.

A quickened beat of her heart made her wonder if she was close. If she was really onto something with the letters. So far they hadn't made all that much sense when put together; alone they each made their own statements with only vague references to each other. The stand alone one was the one with the rules.

She got into her car after grabbing a couple of granola bars and bottled waters on her way out. The rules. The letter had told him he had to do it alone, no help. Local help was okay and Maria figured that he said that because how smart were a bunch of redneck local Sheriffs? She told herself to ask Michael if there had been any city police involved in any of the crimes or if had all been small town law. "He's suppose to make this his mission and he's suppose to do it alone." She said out loud trying to remember the exact wording of the rules letter. She shook her head; Michael had been following the rules. He did make this his mission and he had been doing it alone. Now she was there and he wasn't alone anymore.

She chomped on a granola bar as she sped through town, slowing down in front of the B&B to see if Michael was still there. The Mercedes was absent but Isabel was in the front yard waving at her. Cursing silently, Maria pulled over and put the car in park. Leaving the motor running to signify a very short visit, she got out and walked towards Isabel.

"Maria," Isabel smiled and hugged her. "How are you?"

"Good," Maria said slowly somewhat perplexed by the intimate gesture. "You? Alex?"

Isabel nodded. "We're okay. I mean everything is still so new and Liz…Wow. Can't believe that happened, you know? Of course you know, what am I saying? You're knee deep in the whole thing. Have you made any progress? Can I pass anything along to Max?"

Maria stared at her rambling and wondered if people stared at her the same way when she was ranting about something.

"I'm sorry," Isabel's eye's widened as she covered her mouth with her hand. "That was so unlike me, I don't know where it came from. God."

"It's okay," Maria nodded and looked wistfully over her shoulder at her car. "It's a strange time for everyone."

Isabel nodded and glanced towards the house. "Agent Guerin seems like a very nice man."

Maria felt herself blush. "He is."

"They don't grow like him around here." Isabel's knowing smile was enough to make Maria laugh. "Do they?"

"No, they sure don't." Maria shook her head.

"Try not to hurt Kyle, okay? Not too much." Isabel lowered her voice and shrugged. "He's a good guy."

Maria nodded at a loss for words. She wondered how in the hell Isabel could know so much. She wondered briefly if it was written all over her face. "I better go."

Isabel smiled. "Take care of yourself Maria. Try not to let things drag you down."

She promised as she walked quickly back to her car. She drove the short distance to the station and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for Isabel's behavior and came up with nothing. She doubted Michael had said anything to her. No, she knew for a fact that he wouldn't have. Maybe it really was written on her face; even better, maybe it was on Michael's.

She parked next to the Mercedes and got out of the car. With a glance around the lot, she ascertained that Kyle was not in. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she walked inside. The day was hot outside and the air conditioning was cracking inside. She felt her nipples tighten and wondered if it was from the air or from the anticipation of seeing Michael in a few minutes. She debated for about a half second whether or not to put her other shirt on too and decided not to.

She opened the door to the war room and smiled when she saw Michael sitting at one of the tables. He was waiting for her. She checked him out before removing her sunglasses. She saw his gaze linger on her chest and felt an ache deep inside.

"Been waiting long?" She asked coyly and sat down in a chair next to him removing her sunglasses.

He shook his head. "Only got here about a half hour ago. Are you feeling rested?"

The dream of him touching her, being inside of her was edging its way back up to the surface. The realness of his touch was still on her skin. She nodded slowly and remembered the rest of her dream. The letters. "I have to se the rest of the letters."

"Right now?"

"I think it's all in the letters, Michael. I think he's spelling something out for you and it's in there. I think the key is in the cryptic letters!" Maria's gestures became animated. "You're frowning. Why?"

"Don't you think I would have found it by now?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. He's sending you letters to keep you in the game. This is a game. He's taunting you and wanting you to keep following, so he sends you letters…" She trailed off and looked at him questioningly. "After Lorelei he told you to go to Billings. But the next ones? How did you know? It wasn't in the letters, unless you held something back from me…" She rubbed the gooseflesh on her arms.

He shook his head. "I'm not holding anything back, I promise." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "For Ronnie, Betsey and Sara I was summoned by Natalie. She has a flag up on anything that comes through VICAP, the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program-"

"Yeah, I know what it is," Maria rolled her eyes and smiled. "I do read."

"Okay, well she has a flag for any homicide that involves young women and strangulation." He shrugged. "That's how I found out. He only sent me directions twice. Billings was the first time and then later on."

"Liz?"

"No, Natalie sent me here. I was in Arizona at the time."

"So, you think that maybe on the norm, he really doesn't stake out his victims ahead of time? I mean if he sent you to Billings…No, that doesn't make sense." She sighed. "You've been doing this alone for two years?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Unbelievable, huh?"

"Yeah, really unbelievable." She shook her head. The letter with the rules. Make it his mission and do it alone. "Am I hindering you here? He said to do it alone. I don't want…"

"He also said locals can help, he's fucking lunatic Maria. You can't read too much into what he says. Not a stable person." Michael ran his hands through his hair and wanted to reach to her and pull her against him. Hold her the way he dreamed, make love to her and make her promises.

Maria sighed. "Have you dealt with any other types of law enforcement? I mean, has it always been Sheriffs? Or have any of the crimes happened in cities with a real police force?"

"You are a real cop, Maria."

"I know, but that's not what I'm asking."

"No, no city cops. Each place was either right outside the city or in an unincorporated area. There's been a lot of Sheriffs."

"How about the deputies? A lot like me?" She winked at him.

"No one is like you, Deputy DeLuca." He smiled. "Anyway, after Sara, the letters came more often. Right after the murder and then at least one, sometimes two, before the next kill. One more came after Sara. Then I didn't get another one until after number six."

"So show me the other letter that came after Sara, okay? I want to get to know the rest of your girls and figure out what he's trying to tell you, Michael."

"My girls." Michael repeated.

"Yeah, your girls." Maria took the letter from his hand and read.

Agent Guerin
Disciples of theory
Tight around the knob
Are you still trying
Is it more than a job?

Can't replace what's gone
Won't try to think why
No time to get attached
Still, a few more to die.

I am here with you always Agent dear.
I am here with you always; I can smell her fear.

Maria looked at Michael and wondered if he could smell her fear because for the first time, she was scared. This was very personal between Michael and a killer and she had just stepped right into the middle of it. She edged her chair closer to his.

He smiled and smelled jasmine.
*         *           *

Chapter Twenty Two


That gave me the chills, Michael." Maria whispered and rubbed her arms. "Out of all of them, that one got me. Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"I guess it's got something to do with that whole smelling of fear thing." She sat up straighter and felt slighter annoyed with herself. "I mean, smell fear? It just creeps me out."

"Everything on this case can creep you out Maria. You're almost as far in as I am and I think you're handling everything excellent. Minimal creeps."

She smiled and felt herself blush. "I just want to find who killed Liz. That's why I started this with you," she admitted. "She was my friend and she's dead for some reason. I will find out what that reason is."

"You're dedicated," he smiled wistfully.

"Yeah, I learned from the best." She winked and wanted to be in his arms. She wanted him to hold her and touch her like she had dreamt. She wanted to be one of his girls, but an alive one; she wanted to be the only girl.

"Isabel," Michael said suddenly. "Did you tell her…You know, about any of the 'us' stuff?"

Maria shook her head. "No, did you? She stopped me today and told me not to hurt Kyle too much and that you were a pretty good guy. Why did she do that?"

"I don't know," he smiled. "She got me today too before I came back here. She mentioned something about how lucky I was to have you working with me and to make sure I didn't hurt you and…Things along those lines." He shook his head. "I guess that it's obvious, huh?"

"What? That we have this undefined thing going on?" Maria asked and felt her skin burn. She felt an ache between her legs that she hadn't felt for so long. An ache for something new.

"An undefined thing," Michael repeated. "I like that. My whole life has been about definition and now here you are, you just bounce right in and now nothing is defined."

Maria rolled her eyes at him. "You know what I mean, Guerin."

"I do know what you mean and I'm serious. My life has always been defined. From day one. I worked hard to get into the FBI, I found a sweet girl who I was going to marry, I planned on having two kids and a Golden Retriever named Sam and retiring from the Bureau when I was still young enough to enjoy life. Maybe moving out of Seattle and to somewhere nice and warm. That was all defined. Now, I have no definition. I have no idea what my future holds, hell, I don't even know what the next few hours hold. Who knows Maria, you could see something else and crack this wide open. We could end this tonight."

"Wow, from one ranter to another, that was a good one." She laughed. "Life shouldn't be about definitions. I'm sorry the storybook version of 'This is your life Michael Guerin' didn't play out the way it was supposed to. I'm sorry you don't have a dog named Sam. But you have to remember something, my mom told me this a long time ago and I believe every word of it. Everything happens for a reason. Everything."

He looked thoughtfully at her and wondered how he was going to keep his hands off her. The way and timing of spilling what used to be his ideal life to her and her rationalizing made him fall deeper. He wasn't sure if it was actual love he was feeling; there was still so much more to get to know about her; but it was close.

The future of kids and dogs with Lorelei was just what Maria had described. A storybook version. This was the real deal. This was life and he didn't want a storybook version, not anymore. He wanted something new. Something he didn't think he'd ever want. He wanted the unknowing of his future. He wanted a life outside definition.

"He's defining you," Maria looked to him, her eyes bright. "Exactly what you were talking about. He's defining you! He sees you as this arrogant, self-centered heartbroken agent who can't care about anything anymore except these girls."

"Then he's made the perfect definition of Agent Michael Guerin." He said dryly.

"Seriously, Michael." She touched his hand. "Remember what you just told me. Your whole life has been defined."

Michael nodded and reflected on his own thoughts about stepping outside of the definitions.

"Everything you've done has been by the book."

The storybook version, Michael smiled to himself.

"He nailed you and the only way to catch him is to step outside the defining lines."

"I thought that's what I was doing with you."

"It is," she grinned. "See, we're on the right path now. Just a few obstacles and we're almost cleared of the time to grieve."

Playing in forbidden forest
No time to grieve.

His mind scrambled with her words. He was there. He was watching them as they stood on the banks of Blackwater Draw when he first realized his attraction to Deputy Maria DeLuca. Had it been that obvious? Who else was there? Kyle Valenti? Max Evans? His mind reeled, was there anyone else around? Was there anyone on the shore? On the road in back of them? Had he been too consumed with the crime scene and Maria in general? Had the jasmine affected his brain and he missed someone nearby?

He frantically rummaged around the papers in front of him and dug out the last letter he had received at the B&B. It was about Maria, he thought, she should know. He licked his lips. "I need to show you this out of order."

"What is it? I'm in the middle of a revelation here, Mister."

"It's the last letter I got and I think it's about you." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Definition. I think you nailed it, again. I think you can read him better than I ever could. He did define me and…Oh, fuck!" He handed her the letter and watched as she read it.

She read it once to herself and the second time out loud. " 'Wasting your time, do my eyes deceive? Playing in forbidden forest, no time to grieve'? Is that me? You think I'm the forbidden forest?" Maria cracked a smile. "I've been called a lot of things…Why would you think that's me? When did you get this?"

"The night we went to Blackwater Draw, when I got back to the B&B it was waiting for me."

"Okay…" She cocked her head to one side. "Why would he say that? We were not exactly on the same terms were are now."

"Because that's when I realized how beautiful you were. That's when I watched you walk and admired it. That's when I started to feel something."

Maria nodded and thought about the way she had watched him and admired the ways his jeans had looked on him. Had it really been a night of mutual attraction? "So," she said slowly as a new realization hit her. "You think he was there? You think he was watching?" She racked her brain trying to remember anyone being there besides Kyle and Max. "I don't remember…"

Damn it!" He slammed his fist down on the table causing Maria to jump. "I should have been paying more attention to what was around me instead I was watching your ass!" He stood up and ran his hands through his hair and began to pace in front of her. "I wasn't paying attention and he was probably there!"

"You were watching my ass?" Maria giggled and immediately deemed it inappropriate but she couldn't help it.  She cleared her throat. "Even if you would have seen someone, you wouldn't have known it was him. Quit beating yourself up Michael. You're doing the best you can and everyone knows it. I know it! He's making you rethink your actions Michael. He's trying to get you upset. Look at the last line 'I don't think you can'. He's baiting you and you're finally falling for it!"

Michael looked at her and saw the admonition on her face. She was right, again. As always. He was doubting his work ethics. He was doubting his entire plight as an agent. He was doubting everything he had done to find this bastard for the last two years. He was doubting himself.

He leaned over to her and cupped her face in his hands. "How did you get to be so smart? How can you see so much when I can't see anything at all? How Maria? How?"

She licked her lips. "I don't know. I hate to say that I can follow the mind of a serial killer, so I won't say that. I'm new to this Michael. I haven't had the burden of living with these horrors for years."

"A new perspective," he said quietly as she stood up in front of him.

"A new pair of eyes," she whispered.

"A new set of lips," he trailed a finger over her full bottom lip.

She caught her breath and leaned into him, pressing her lips against his, forcing her tongue into his mouth. She slid her hands around his waist and pulled him against her. Taking the aggressive approach that she had never done before, she ground her pelvis into his. She felt the warmth of his hands around her waist, encircling her, holding her. His hands slipped underneath the tank top and moved up her bare back.

The kiss deepened and passed from needing and into wanting.

"Maria…" He panted.

"Michael." She smiled underneath his lips.

Michael smiled back. The reason he was living, the ones he was living for, was slowly slipping away into a new realm. A new beginning.

*            *             *
Chapter Twenty Three


Maria wanted to smile into his mouth; but the want for something more held it back. Her hands found his ass and she squeezed, pulling him closer, tighter. Her shirt was rising above her breasts; the cool air hitting them was stimulating.

She tried to catch his eyes as she felt his hands close in on her breasts, but his eyes were closed. Her back arched involuntarily when he rolled her nipples with his fingers. His hands kneading the milky white flesh of full breasts. She rested her ass against the table in back of her and ran her hands through his hair. Breaking away from his mouth, she trailed her lips down his neck as a slight moan escaped her lips.
Michael froze and he opened his eyes. His hands began to shake. He looked at Maria's face. Her sweet face, his hands were still on her breasts. His head was shaking before he knew it. "Maria."

Her lips quivered as she pulled her shirt down, redness sweeping over her face. Embarrassment. Michael withdrew his hands from her and ran them through his hair.

"I'm sorry," her voice was weak as she turned away from him.

He let out a breath and licked his lips, tasting her. "No."

She nodded an acceptance at his reply and shuffled papers on the table. When his arms reached around her waist, it was her turn to freeze.

"Maria," he said her name quietly into her ear. "I can't…We can't."

She swung around and faced his. Wetness balancing on her eyelids. "Why not? Tell me why not Agent Michael."

"I'm losing the sense of the case because all I can think about is you. I'm losing everything else."

She widened her eyes in an attempt to keep back the tears of humiliation. "Fine."

"Maria," he leaned into her and kissed her cheek. "I'm so drawn to you, I can't even explain it. But this is all wrong. All wrong. You're in a relationship with your boss. I'm here to solve a murder."

"I'm getting out of the relationship," she said slowly as she finalized her decision. Even with Agent Guerin pushing her emotions away, her time with Kyle had come to an end. "And we will solve this murder, Michael. We'll solve the whole thing. I don't care if it takes a month or a year, we will solve it!"

He smiled sideways at her and pursed his lips. He believed her. He believed every word that came from her mouth.

"So don't try to push this attraction away so fast," she out her hands on her hips and found the courage she had lost. "Don't try to put me on the backburner. I give you my word that we'll figure this out. I give you my word that I won't let you down."

"I know-"

"And another thing. If you think you can stay in this room with me and keep your hands to yourself the whole time, then fine. But there will be none of this touching and backing away. Okay? You make me think there's something wrong with me and I hate that feeling. I'm giving up a lot, not just for you, but for me. I'm trading in my life and I'm scared to death, but I'm doing it for all the right reasons. So don't play all high and mighty with me Mister. I am going to be here and I am going to work side by side with you and we are going to deal with it. If it ends up that you leave town and I stay here, then so be it."

"I don't want to leave you here," he said slowly as he looked at her through the tops of his eyes. "I don't know what to do Maria, to be honest."

"Why not?"

"Because I've had nothing but this case for the last couple of years. Nothing else. Now I have a whole new reason to get up in the morning. A new reason to live. I found you."

"Yeah," she smirked. "I wasn't really hiding."

"I know," he laughed. "But you're clouding my vision. When I try to sift through the mess of this case, I see you. When I look at the letters, I hear you. You're consuming me and it scares me. I'm losing my thought process because I'm so worried about what you're thinking and doing."

"Okay." She sat on the edge of the table. "Let's make a deal."

"A deal?"

"Yeah, a deal. Don't look so worried, I'm not going to ask you to sell your soul. Okay?" she rolled her eyes. "The number one priority we have is to work on this case, our case. The personal stuff comes in second. If our undefined relationship gets in the way then we knock it back, okay?"

"I hope I'll be able to." He grinned and felt the tension ease off of him.

"Oh, you'll be able to." She nodded. "Find the bad guy and move on. How does that sound for a plan?"

"Find the bad guy and move on. I like it." He nodded. "Okay, where were we?" He glanced to the papers on the table and then the photographs on the wall.

"Here," she raised her shirt above her breasts and giggled.

Michael looked at her and instantly felt weak in the knees. Her beasts were perfect. Not too big and not too small, perfect handfuls. He reached to her and lowered his head, pursing his mouth around one pert nipple. His tongue flicked over the imperfections as his hands slid down and untied the shirt around her waist. He let the shirt drop to the floor and slid both hands over her ass.

She ran her hands through his hair and knew it was all right. Everything was going to be all right. She glanced to the closed door as she felt his fingers inside the waistband of her pants.

"We should stop," he looked up to her face and spoke with her nipple still in his mouth. "We have work to do."

She nodded and put her hand around her breast, feeding it to him. He sucked hungrily with his hands now splayed on her bare abdomen. Michael's eyes were shut and the feeling of her breast in his mouth was too much. It had been too long since he felt this way. Two years of being celibate; without even the thought of touching a woman, and now the ache of want was overwhelming. He broke away from her breast and met her eyes and wondered briefly if the animal magnetism he was treading on was showing.

"Hi," she looked into the fire of his eyes and knew there was no going back. Not now, it was too late, things had gone to far. "We should work?"

He nodded and took a deep breath. "We should work and you should end things with Kyle. I still have integrity and I don't know if I can do this while your still with him."

Maria nodded feeling the same thing. She didn't want to hurt her boyfriend, but acting out physical instincts with another man behind his back made it worse. She would end it with Kyle before she could further with Agent Michael Guerin. Although her life was shifting, she still had a past vested with Kyle and she never wanted to see him hurt. Not because of something like this.

She pulled her shirt down and picked up the other one from the floor and slipped it on. She ran a hand through her hair and wondered if Kyle was home yet or if he was lurking around the station. Priorities had been modified and parting with Kyle was now on the top of the list. In her heart of hearts she knew it was the right thing to do. It was the honest thing to do.

"I'll talk to Kyle today." She smiled sedately at him and took his hand. "This is right, right?"

"You have to answer that for yourself, Maria." He kissed the top of her hand. "C'mon, let's go to work."

Maria picked up the last letter Michael had handed her and read it again. She couldn't imagine being called the forbidden forest, that was absurd and she told him so. "I'm not forbidden," she shook her head. "I may have been unattainable at the time, but forbidden? I don't think so. I also don't think he was necessarily there either. Are you sure?"

Michael weighed his response carefully before answering her. "I should have been paying more attention."

"That's not an answer."

"Hell, maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. These freaking letters are driving me insane trying to read into them what he wants me know! I don't know Maria; I can go over it and over it and I still come up with nothing. I know that he's doing this for me. To hurt me and he's winning. I know eleven innocents have lost their lives for no fucking reason except to be used in a game to get to me. Was he here in Roswell? Was he watching us? I don't know. He could follow me the same way I follow him and I never see him."

Maria watched his mouth as he spoke, she took in the subtleties of his persona. The dismay he had when talking about himself. The guilt that was wrenching its way through him with every word.

"Do you feel the countdown clock like I do?" She asked timidly.

"Yeah, Maria. I feel it. Hell, I think I hear it."

A knock at the door made them both jump. Expecting Kyle Valenti to waltz in, they were both surprised when it was a dispatcher, Mary Ellen.

"Sorry to interrupt," the middle-aged woman smiled and extended her hand to Michael. "This was delivered for you, Agent."

Michael looked at the familiar envelope in her hands and took it by the corner. "When?"

"A few minutes ago," she backed away from the intensity that was leaking from Michael. "By courier."

"Did you know the courier?" Michael asked trying to hide the sharpness in his voice.

She nodded. "Dave the courier." She looked at Maria. "You know Dave, right?"

Maria nodded and thanked her. Mary Ellen walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

"It's from him," Maria stated rather than asked. "Have they ever come this close together?"

"No," he shook his head and slid the letter out. He read it and then handed it to Maria.

Agent Guerin

Don't forget your manners
You have so much to do
I've told you times before
But you're still feeling blue

Can't get past the meaning
Won't get past the pain
It's all right in front of you
Just as clear as the rain.

Tick Tock dear Agent good night
Tick Tock dear Agent will you get it right?

Maria whistled. "It's almost like he was here with us, listening, huh?"

Michael nodded and felt the time ticking down. Tick Tock.
*           *             *

Chapter Twenty Four


"We should be able to see it, you should be able to see it!" Maria read the letter again. "He told you it's all right in front of you."

Michael nodded. Another letter. After Liz. He rummaged for it and reread it. "This came after Liz." He tapped the paper in his hand. "You have to go through the other ones Maria, maybe you can see what I can't. After Sara there's five more girls then Liz. You have to meet the other girls. Time is running out."

"Why did you get that one out?" Maria pointed to the paper in his hand.

"What he says in here," he shook his head and read from it. "'It's all there in black and white.' He's told me everything I need to know to find him and I can't! Damn it! Another woman is going to die because I can't figure it out!"

"I want to look over Lorelei again." Maria fought back the temptation to read the letter in his hands. That one was too close to home. Hell, that one was home.

"Lorelei? Why?"

Maria thought about telling him about her dream, but she couldn't. Not right now. "I think we missed something with Lorelei."

Michael shook his head. "Of any of them, I know that one the best. She was my girlfriend; don't you think I'd invest more into that? She was the first and I loved her."
Michael's eyes burned. "There's nothing more to be found about Lorelei."

"I'm sorry Agent Guerin," Maria took an authoritative tone with him; jealousy seeping through. "I know she was your world and I know you worked long and hard on her murder, but you might have missed something. You are too damn close to this to see it clearly anymore!"

"Clear as the rain," he murmured and turned away from her. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. Mumbling to himself as he walked towards the first of the victim boxes he got Lorelei's file out and handed it to her. "You won't find anything else on her."

Maria took the file and sat down. Anger churning within her. She opened the folder and turned to Michael. "You know what? Here's your problem. You can't get past Lorelei. You can't see what's in front of you. You think you're going to solve this thing but you can't open up your damn eyes and look! I've only met five of your girls so far and I think I already know them better than you do. Sure, I learned it from your notes, but you're in too deep. You've been alone on this for too fucking long and you need a break. Death is not a healthy thing Agent Michael. You're being blinded by Lorelei's murder."

"That's not fair to say," he faced her slowly. Their eyes locking. "I treat each and every one of them special. I feel for all of them."

"Oh, I know you do, I don't doubt that for a second. But what's the underlying reason? Lorelei."

He opened his mouth to speak and then glanced at the letter still in his hand; the one that came after Liz.

[i]I can feel your breath on my neck
But you can't get past the first.[/i]

He met Maria's gaze and knew she was right. She's always right. "This letter tells me the same thing. That I can't get past the first. That I can't get past Lorelei."

Maria raised her eyebrows and licked her lips. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, but there's more to it. Some psycho doesn't just pop out of nowhere and decide to kill your girlfriend, make you chase him across the country killing women for no apparent reason and ruin your life without reason. That's what bad movies and bad books are made of; a surprise villain that no one ever heard of before. You know him Michael. You have to know him and I think it goes back to Lorelei. She was the first."

"No."

"Damn it, her file's not even complete!" She slapped the tabletop. "You told me she was from Virginia, that you met her while you were at Quantico. That wasn't in her file. If you wouldn't have said that I would have assumed she was from Seattle. What else didn't you put in her file Agent?"

Michael slumped down next to her in a folding chair and covered his face with his hands. "I'm not trying to hide anything. I don't know that much about her before I met her."

Maria rolled her eyes. "You went to painstaking routes to learn about the others, but with Lorelei you just let her past go?"

"I loved her," he met her eyes.

Sympathy exuded from her and she reached to him and took his hand. "I know. I'm sorry, but nothing else makes sense. I don't want you to relive one single moment of anything hurtful, but I think its Lorelei. I think we're missing something with her." She glanced at the wall clock. "I have an idea. I'm going to go, you stay here and read through her file and try to fill in some blanks. Anything Michael."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home to break up with Kyle." She didn't try to smile. It wasn't going to be fun. "I can't have that hanging over me anymore. Okay? I'll be back later."

"Be careful, okay?" He stood and walked to her as she reached the door. "I don't know if there's killer loose in Roswell or not. I can't let anything happen to you."

"Hey, I'm armed." She touched her purse. She got the gun and attached waist holster out and slipped it on. "Okay, now I'm armed."

"You get a better draw from a shoulder holster." Michael smiled.

"But it chafes my arms." She smirked.

"Wear a long sleeve shirt."

"You wouldn't like that, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't." He finally laughed. "Just be careful. If you need me, call me." He leaned into her and kissed the corner of her mouth. "For the right reasons?"

She nodded. "The right reasons."

*        *        *

The killer was alone in a hotel room not too far away from Roswell in a little town called Lake Arthur. Always alone. Almost always.

Looking out the window at the hotel pool below the room, a smile gracing bitter lips.

"Agent Guerin can you figure me out?" Snickering and watching a young blond woman sunbathe below. "Blind as a bat, forgot to adore, speaks in your face and yet you ignore."

*        *        *

Maria drove slowly the entire way home. The lingering thoughts of Michael telling her to be careful were wearing on her. She'd always felt safe in Roswell, always. Now there could be a psycho running around killing women. She shook her head and flipped on her headlights as the sun was setting. She'd only left the house a few hours before and didn't really want to go back there. Not now. Not for the reason she was going to. Not to break Kyle's heart.

She pulled up in the driveway and parked in back of the 4X4. Taking a deep breath she got out of her car and walked to the front door. She let herself in and looked around at a place she had called home.

"Kyle?" She called down the hallways that led to the bedroom. She got a muffled response and walked towards it. She pushed the bedroom door open and found him. He was lying on the bed still in his uniform sans the shoes. "Hi."

"Hi. What are you doing here? I thought you'd be working all night." He didn't face her but kept his attention on the ceiling.  "Again."

She took another deep breath and pulled the chair from the desk over to the bed and sat down. "Kyle, we have to talk."

"Great," he pointed his fingers to the ceiling. "I wonder about what."

"Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Hard?" He laughed bitterly. "I know what you're going to say Maria and it sucks. You're breaking up with me for Mr. Fucking Hot Shit FBI dick."

"I'm breaking up with you because we're no good together anymore."

"Okay," he said slowly. "That's bullshit, but if it lets you sleep through the night then call it whatever you want."

"It's the truth," she ran her hand through her hair and absently thought of Michael doing the same. "Kyle, we've grown apart-"

"In the last few days?"

"For awhile. We're comfortable with each other, but I think we're holding each other back from something else."

"I am comfortable with you Maria," he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I love you. I want to marry you and have kids with you and live happily ever after. I thought that you might want that too. If you didn't, then why in the hell have you been with me for so long?"

Maria couldn't answer him yet. At one point that had been what she wanted.

"Well?" Kyle prodded and looked into her face forcing her to look back at him. "Damn it!"

"I'll always love you Kyle, but I have to move on. I don't know if I want kids and a dog. I don't know if I even want to stay in Roswell anymore. I've never even been out of New Mexico! There's a whole world waiting for me and I have to go see it!"

Kyle's shoulders sank as he remembered the question he'd asked himself before. Did he really love her enough to let her go? He smiled. "I wondered how long it would take for you to figure out that you were better than this dusty-ass town. I always knew you were something special. I won't lie to you Maria; I don't want to let you go. I don't want to lose you."

"Kyle," she exhaled slowly and wiped where there should have been tears.

"If you tell me the Fed isn't at least partly behind your decision, I'll know you're lying, so don't tell me anything else." He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. "I love you, okay? Don't make any rash decisions, not today."

"But Kyle-"

"I'll always take you back Maria, okay?" His voice quivered. "I may hate what you do and who you do it with, but I'll still be here when he breaks your heart."

She nodded and stood up dropping his hand. She started pulling clothes out of the closet and laying them on the bed.

"You're leaving?" Kyle asked standing up. "You're really going to leave? After what I just said?"

"I have to," she faced him. "Thank you for not making this as hard-"

He laughed interrupting her. "This is bullshit. I just did everything right, you aren't supposed to leave!"

"Kyle, didn't you mean anything you just said?"

"I did, but it was supposed to make you realize what a great guy you're leaving behind." He shook his head. "Don't you know what you're giving up?"

She nodded. "I do know Kyle, but I have to explore, I have to experience-"

"Fine," he interrupted. "Go explore and experience. Go be a wild child. But maybe I won't be here when he breaks your heart."

"You're talking in riddles, Kyle. I have enough on my plate with riddles, I don't need more from you!" Maria's voice rose to a shout. "I can't deal with this, okay? I don't want to hurt you but I'm not in love with you anymore! I won't be coming back and he won't break my heart!"

Kyle nodded and stepped back, his soul on his sleeve. Maria could see the devastation in his eyes. She had literally broken his heart. "Where will you stay?
Your moms?"

"Probably at Isabel's."

"With…Never mind." He bowed his head. "I'll miss you Maria." He walked from the room and looked over his shoulder at her.

"I'm sorry Kyle." The tears fell but a new sense of relief and freedom washed over her drying the tears. The future was wide open now. There was nothing in her way of going far and far away. The void of an empty heart was being filled.

She gathered clothes and shoes together and tossed them in a suitcase. A duffel bag held her toiletries. She carried them to her car and saw Kyle at the kitchen window looking out into the darkness.

"Good bye Kyle," she picked up her laptop computer from the kitchen table and waited for him to turn around. He didn't. She took a step closer to him and saw his reflection in the window. She saw the tear that was sliding down his face and turned around.

She left the house and fought back any feelings of doubt.

*        *        *

TBC  becky



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