Hurting for you
By StormyBear30

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Part Five

“What…what” I stammered…my mouth hanging open as her words played over and over in my stunned mind.

“I said what the @#%$ is…” she went on again…but I cut her off before she could finish.

“Max has had a crush on me…for how long?” I asked again astonished.

“For years…” she countered…moving in front of me until we were standing almost face to face. I had to look up to greet her angry eyes as he looked down on me with such distaste and it caused a shiver to roll down my spine. “He’s been head over heels in love with you from the first moment he laid eyes on you and yet all you have ever done to him is torture and hurt him. You have hurt him so deeply sometimes that he would fall into such a funk that it would last for days. He has never done anything but love you and all you have ever done it hurt him”

“I…I didn’t know” I stammered…grabbing onto the wall behind me in order to stop myself from falling on my ass in total shock.

“I shouldn’t have mattered if you knew or not” she bit back…so close to me that I could feel her heated breath across my already flushed face. “Max has never done anything to you but try and be your friend and all you have done is make fun of him and hurt him. I don’t know what you are up to Kyle Valenti…but I will tell you this…” her words got louder as she poked a long painted nail painfully into my chest. “You stay the @#%$ away from him. Leave him alone…because since you have been hanging out with him he had become a different person. He’s given his heart to you despite the fact that he had no idea what you will do to it. Just leave him alone Kyle. Let him try and be happy. We have six more months of school left and then he will be free of Roswell and you. Let them be good times…let them be happy times were your not making him miserable” her words turned to a near whisper…her arms falling to her sides in defeat as tears glistened within her eyes. “Just leave him alone Kyle. Please…I am begging you…just leave him alone”

I watched as she turned from me…shoulder slumped as she headed for the front door. My mind was racing…my heart beating so wildly within my chest that I just knew that I was going to die right there on that very spot. I didn’t know what to say…didn’t know what to think…but I knew that I couldn’t let her walk out that door before I let her know exactly what I felt for her brother. “I love him…” I blurted out…causing her to stop dead in her tracks as she turned to face me with a look of pure upset sprawled across her made up face.

“What…” she rushed out…holding onto the same wall that I had been holding onto moments earlier.

“I said that I love him” I repeated more firmly…meeting her eyes just to prove my truthfulness…because it was at that point in time that I realized that I truly did love him.

“You’re not even @#%$ gay” she spat…once again getting into my face with eyes of fire blazing before me. “This is just some @#%$ game that you and your cronies have come up with to @#%$ with Max’s mind and if you think that I am going to just stand by and…”

“We’ve had sex Isabel…or something close enough to sex” I spoke loudly…blushing like hell at the fact that I was discussing my strange and @#%$ up sex life with Max’s sister.

“Something close…” she repeated…hands on hips that same fire shooting from her eyes.

I didn’t want to discuss my new found sex life with her brother with her…but I knew if she was going to accept me as her brothers whatever I was going to be…I was going to have to bite the bullet and tell her everything. “Isabel…sit” I directed towards the living room as I ushered her over to the couch. Taking a deep breath I fell onto the cushions besides her…wringing my hands nervously as I tried to come up with the words to make her understand what was going on with me. “It started about two months ago…” I began…

“Holy @#%$…” she expelled after I had told her the whole story of how Max and I had gotten to that point. “So it’s not a game?” she asked…her eyes boring into my soul as if trying to figure out for sure if my remarks were true or not. “You…you’re gay and in love with my brother”

“Yeah…” I chuckled…a full blush radiating across my cheeks.

“But this doesn’t make any sense” I watched as she got up off the couch and began to pace the length of the living room rug before me. “You’re dating Maria and you’ve always been so nasty to Max…to all of us”

“I know Isabel and I am sorry for that” I replied sadly…because until I had really gotten to know Max…I have never known just how hateful I had been to all of them. “Maria and I are through…I ended it for good tonight. I was just coming from there when I found you on the porch”

“But where does that leave Max?” she asked…stopping long enough to give me another one of her smoldering looks. “You raced out of the house like a bat out of hell and when I left him he was trying to be brave…but I could see that you had hurt him once again by the tears in his eyes. He told me that you were only there to help him with his homework…but we both know that you are a plain dummy compared to Max” she laughed slightly…and it alone caused my heart to soar because I knew that she was finally getting it.

“Yeah…no doubt that Max is smarter then me…on all levels” I agreed as I continued to wring my hands. “I @#%$ up Isabel” I went on. “We were making out and I was so nervous that I freaked out and when he tried to comfort me I lost it. I said things to hurt him on purpose because I didn’t want to admit that I was…gay and in love with a man like your brother”

“Do you think that he why you have treated him so badly…because you have been in love with him this whole time?” she asked absent mindedly…tapping her lip thoughtfully as she looked over at me.

“Lets not dig into the past and try and figure out just when I realized I was a homo” I laughed uneasily…still not comfortable with my declaration…bit determined to stick by my observation.

“Ok…” she laughed uneasily as well. “So what are we going to do?” she asked with a small smile as she came and sat down beside me once again.

“You’re…you’re going to help me?” I asked completely baffled.

“I will help you Kyle…but if you ever @#%$ hurt him again…I will @#%$ break you neck” she threatened…smacking me across the head just to prove her point before pulling me into an extremely awkward hug. It was a couple of more days before I spoke to Max again. I still had a lot to think about…still had a lot to work out since my talk with Isabel. I knew that I wanted to be with Max…what I didn’t’ know was if he still wanted to be with me and if he did how much was I willing to let it change my life.

After two days of hashing and rehashing everything that had changed about me since my first confrontation with Max…I knew what I had to do. I had a plan and thanks to Isabel it was planned out to perfection. I knew that she and her parents were going to be gone on that particular weekend…knew that Max had stayed back to cram for our upcoming midterms and I knew that on that weekend that everything in my once insane world was about to get even more insane.

“What are you doing here?” I heard him ask as I barged in through the front door of him home…after knocking on it for what felt like ages. I watched as his eyes took in the travel bag I held in my hands…watched as they grew huge as saucers at the reality that I was planning on staying…no matter what. “Kyle…” he whispered…closing his eyes as he leaned against the banister beside him for support. “I told you that we can’t do this anymore”

I could see the tears of hurt once again threaten his eyes and it nearly broke my heart. Moving forward until there was barely a space between us…I spoke the words that I knew he needed to hear…because they were words that I needed to say. “Yes we can…and we will” I spoke truthfully as I placed my hand tenderly upon the side of his face. “We just have a lot of things to work out before we can go any further. That is if your willing to try” I progressed fearfully…removing my hand from his face as I played nervously with his fingers as they clutched tightly at the banister.

“We talk first?” he questioned me unsure…arching the back of his hand upward against my hand…causing me to smile.

“Yeah we talk first” I replied…interlocking our fingers as I tugged him up the stairs and into the room I didn’t plan to leave until everything was picture perfect…or as perfect as could be for an outright gay man and his soon to be…somewhat still confused lover.

Well…as Max requested we talked…we talked and talked and talked…until there was nothing more to talk about. We talked so much that my throat was sore…my eyes were red from crying after hearing absolute truths…but I felt as if my soul were soaring. I let go of a lot of demons that night and it was freeing to know that I could talk to Max about anything and have no fear of him using it against me. I learned a lot more about Max that night as well. He admitted to me that he had been in love with me for quite along time. He let me know just how much I hurt him each time that I did or said something hateful and that thought alone nearly broke my heart. I explained to him why it was that I was afraid to let go of my heterosexuality…but strong assured that I was more then willing to explore my homosexuality. We held hands the entire time…urging each other onward…encouraging each other with just the simplest of touches. Afterwards…in near exhaustion we just held each other as we shared small love filled kisses…kisses that held so much promise of what was yet to come. We slept for hours after that…wrapped tightly and securely in each other’s arms…knowing that we were surely headed in the right direction.

That weekend we made love for the very first time. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous as hell about it…because after our previous fiasco and that fact that I was still clinging to my hetro manliness I was more then @#%$ terrified. I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint Max again…so I took charge of the situation like a good team captain would and hoped and prayed that we would be victorious in the end. I didn’t know how to broach the subject as we lay on the bed shirtless with matching stiffies to boot. I didn’t know how to tell him that I wanted to be the one to @#%$ him…because there was still that small part of me that felt as if I was not completely gay as long as I was doing the @#%$. I know it’s not politically correct in thinking…but you have to understand that for the first sixteen years of my life I was straight…or at least I thought I was straight and then all of a sudden there was a strong possibility that I was gay. Max as usual seemed to be able to read my very mind as he pulled me back into the land of reality with a small kiss upon my lips before uttering words that sent a chill to my very core. “Make love to me Kyle” he whispered…wrapping his arms around my neck as he stared deep into my eyes as if letting me know that he got it. At first I could only lay there staring back…but soon the idea of making love to him became my obsession as I once again went into captain mode.

Pushing him onto his back I pinned him at the waist with my legs as I straddled him. I could feel the hardness of his @#%$ rub against my own as I leaned forward and captured his lips so forcefully that it swiped both of our breaths away from us. My hands were rough in their exploring as I kneaded his firm manly flesh underneath them. “You break it…you buy it” he laughed with a sexy laugh deep within his throat that soon had me harder then I had ever been before. I knew right then and there that there was nothing going to detour me from making love to that boy for all I was worth. I wanted to hear scream louder then he had ever screamed before…wanted him to moan my name as I gave him extreme pleasure…and I wanted him to come for days all at the expense of my making love to him.

“I’m going to @#%$ you Max” I growled against his ear as I tugged on it forcefully…smiling to myself at the moan that quickly escaped from his lips. “I’m going to @#%$ you until you don’t know what hit you…and then I am going to do it again” I went on with my tauntings…praying like hell that I could live up to my promises.

“Then stop teasing me and @#%$ me already” he ground out…literally humping my from below as he gnashed our dicks together.

“Oh I will baby…don’t you worry” was my hardened reply as I stretched myself out over the length of his body…humping him as hard as he was humping me as I captured his lips once again under my own. God…I can still remember what that night felt like. I can remember ever move…every moan…ever time we came as if it were yesterday. I remember everything…but what sticks out more was the request that Max made as I licked my way down his sculptured body…heading towards only on destination.

“Kyle…” he panted as I slowly pulled his underwear down his beautifully tan legs. “Kyle…wait” he went on…forcing me to stop what I was doing as I looked up at him fearful that I was once again doing something wrong. “I just…I mean can you” My heart was racing so fast within my chest that I found it almost impossible to breath. I just knew that he was having second thoughts and no longer wanted to be with me…to make love to me…but oh how wrong I was.

“Ma…Max…what is it?” I stammered…terrified to hear his answer. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What…no…no” was his adamant reply as he sat up…pulling me along with him. “I just have a favor to ask” he said…a full range blush spreading across his face. “No…forget it” I was dying to know what it was that had him so flustered as he hid his face in my heaving chest.

“What Max…you can tell me” I assured…laying my cheek upon his head as I waited for him to tell me.

“I’ve always dreamed about what it would be like to make love with you…but in my fantasy you always wore your…always wore your…” he stammered.

“My what…” I giggled…easing him back so I could look into his face.

“Your letterman’s jacket” he rushed out…once again hiding his face in my chest once again.

“You want me to @#%$ you with my letterman’s jacket on?” I asked…astonished…but so completely turned on that he had fantasized about me like that before.

“Yes…” was his breathy reply as he playfully bit down on my already hardened nipple. I knew then and there that playtime was over…knew that Max and I were about to embark on something that was either going to bring us closer together…or tear up completely apart. With just that simple bite he sent sensations through me that I had never felt before when I was with Maria or another women. It felt right…it made me feel for the first time that I was actually being who I was supposed to be and I was more then ready for the challenge. I didn’t give him a chance to say or do anything else as I jumped off of him and the bed we were sharing searching frantically for my elusive jacket. I scanned high and low through his immaculate room…not finding it. Rushing down the stairs of his home…I scrambled from room to room in search of what Max wanted most…still with no luck.

“Where the @#%$ is it?” I screamed out in utter frustration once again scouring the lower portion of the house.

“Hallway closet” I heard him scream in reply.

Part Six

“When the @#%$ did he” I wondered aloud how he had hung up my jacket from the time I entered his house till the time we went up stairs…but decided it didn’t matter as I threw open the closet door…ripped it from the hanger and literally sprinted up those stair and back into his room. Within seconds I had the jackets placed securely around my body as I strode over to the bed where he continued to lay fully naked before me. I couldn’t move as I continued to stand there is awe of just how perfect his body was. See the thing you have to know about Max’s body is that you really don’t know just how exquisite it is until it is naked before you. He likes to hide that gloriously manly body under over sized shirts and worn out jackets…but that night every single inch of that body was exposed for me to look at…taste…touch and explore. “Jesus Max…” I sighed…still unable to move as I stood firmly in the same spot.

“What…what is it?” he asked…fear and concern dripping from his words as he sat up…trying to hide from me.

“You are absolutely stunning” I went on…still in awe…unable to stop that smile that inhabited my face at the blush that raged across his. Once again the nagging doubt of what I was about to do began to ebb its way back inside my brain…but I shoved it away. Gay…straight…or ever Bi…I wanted Max in a way that I had never wanted anyone else before as I took one cleansing breath before taking the step that would change my life forever

“I want you to make love to me Kyle” he whispered through that blush as I slide onto the bed beside him…wrapping one arm around his neck…the other across his waist as I bridge the gap between us. I knew that he could see the fear in my eyes as he once again leaned forward and kissed me gently upon slightly twitching lips. “Just follow my lead and this will be over in a minute” he went on…his eyes getting large and fearful at the realization of what he had just said. “I mean…that this will be a memorable moment in our lives” he chuckled…the blush across his face reddening even more.

“Good save” I laughed along with him…pinning him under my body as I kissed him once…twice…three times quickly before tearing into those lips I would never tire of feeling pressed against my own. Playtime was over…it was time for Kyle Valenti to become a man…with another man and boy was I more then ready for it to happen. With a free hand…I snaked it down the expanse of his side…sliding it between our naked flesh before casing my fingers around his penis. There wasn’t much room for much more then simple exploration as I continued to lie atop him…but what I was doing was enough to have him moaning and writhing for more. Curiosity…I hate to admit got the better of me as I kissed him one more time upon swollen lips before shifting completely towards his lower body and some intense inspection.

I had never seen a dick so up close and personal before and despite the fact that I was turned on as hell…I couldn’t help but want to check out the object that had me so hot and bothered. I had tried to give Max oral gratification before…but I had been to nervous…to into doing it the right way that I never really gave it a good look. However…that night I really gave it the once over. I took in every supple inch…every line…every crease and every drop. Still holding it with my one hand…I began to trace the veins near ready to explode with the tip of my finger…tracing it from top to bottom and then back again. I was truly amazed at the amount of heat radiating off of it as I continued to explore it…because between the heat of my hand and the warmth of his body I was somewhat fearful that it might disintegrate right before my eyes. Deciding that he needed some cool healing and quick…I replaced my tongue where my fingers had left their mark…jerking away as quick as possible at the loud outcry before me. “Did I do something wrong” I asked in a panic…releasing his hardness as it stood at attention before me.

“No...no…baby…please…” he panted…clutching painfully as my thigh as I knelt before him. “You’re doing it right…@#%$ right. Please…Kyle…baby…don’t stop” his words were fevered as he continued to dig and scratch at my skin. Empowered…I leaned forward once again latching my hand around his member before covering it with my mouth. With the first swipe my gag reflexes went into over drive as I shot it out of my mouth with a rush of air…followed by a coughing fit. “Don’t take it all at once” he schooled me…pulling his frame into a sitting position as he laid his hand upon my neck. “Go slowly at first…relax your throat muscles and let it glide along your tongue” I did as he asked…relaxing my throat as much as I could considering how nervous I was…only to jerk back once again at his outcry of pain. “Ouch…” he cried out as I raked my two front teeth across his sensitive tool.

“@#%$…” I cried out in utter frustration…once again ready to bolt and leave that man standing once again. “I can’t do this…”

“Kyle…baby…look at me” he spoke forcefully…grabbing onto the sides of my face in order for me to look at him. “You were doing a great job. Jesus…you look so hot going down on me like that…but you just have to remember to be careful of your teeth. I know that you have had some girl going down on you before and she raked her teeth across your dick….remember how it hurt like hell when it happened?” he went on still staring into my eyes. “Just remember how it felt and you’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Now please…baby…I beg of you…finish me off” he laughed slightly…urging my head forward a look of pure trusted lust gazing down at me as I did. His words swirling round and round in my head…I set back to my task. Max was right as he usually was and I became a quick learner. I quickly learned what and what not to do to give him extreme pleasure. I learned that I liked the supple skin of his penis as it glided up and down my tongue. I liked the way that his body…his moans responded to my every action I learned to love to tease and torture him until he was ready to explode…only to pull back in order to prolong my tasty fun. I loved everything about that glorious dick of his…but I especially loved the taste of him after all the fun and games were done and I finally allowed him his release. “I’m going to come” I heard his anguished cries as he clutched painfully onto my head…increasing the actions of my movement before drowning my mouth with my first taste of manly goodness. I still can’t quite describe it…but it was unique and different…salty and sweet all rolled into one. It was a taste that was unlike anything I had ever tasted before because it was the pure taste of Maxwell Evans. “Wow…” was his breathy reply as he fell back against the pillow of his bed…eyes closed…his breath ragged and uneven. “That was truly amazing” I couldn’t help but smile at how happy and peaceful he looked as he laid out before me…but it was a smile that didn’t last long as he jerked himself upwards again…nearly scaring the @#%$ out of me. “Now @#%$ me”

I didn’t have a chance to think…much less react before he had flipped onto his stomach…ass in air as he waited for me to @#%$ him. At first all I could do was continue to kneel there like an open mouth bass…but I have to admit that soon the carnal urges were surging through me and I knew that I had to @#%$ him…not only for him but for myself as well. “Do you…do you have any protection” I stammered hotly my body heated and flushed as I prepared to make love to another man.

“Dresser drawer…” was his rushed reply as he looked over his shoulder at me…startling me with the amount of lust so readable in those eyes of his. “Lube too…” I didn’t know much about sex with another man…but I did know enough to be protected no matter what the cost. With speedy action I almost ripped the drawer out of the nightstand as I searched for the necessary items needed. I could hear him chuckle beside me and it only caused my face to flush even more. Nervous sweat was pouring down my beck and chest…but the added burden of my letterman’s jacket was making it ten times worse. Within seconds I had the condom in place as it stood at attention before Max’s perfectly shaped ass. I was pretty sure that I knew what to do with the lube…but fear and nerves began to eat at my bravery as I clutched the plastic bottle tightly within my hands. As usual Max knew that something was wrong without even having to say a word as he pulled himself into a kneeling position…his back flush against my chest. I relished the feeling of comforting warmth that overcame me as he reached back and wrapped one arm around my neck.. “Place some of the lube on my hand” he whispered against my ear. With a small nod I did as he asked…squirting the gel like lube into his hand…nearly crying out in shock and pleasure as with his other hand he lubed my wavering pole. “Kyle…just go slow at first. You can hurt me and yourself if you go to fast and you don’t know what you are doing”

I remember thinking that there should be some sort of instruction manual for first time lovers…but that thought quickly vanished from my mind as he reached back and covered my dick with his hand. With slow and gentle measures he guided it towards a hole that I once thought of as forbidden. Wrapping my arms around his chest I braced myself as ever so slowly I eased my way in. I felt his breath catch in his throat as inch my agonizing inch I slide into him…praying like hell that I wasn’t hurting him. “Am I hurting you” I cried out in my own painful way as I tried to control the urge to pummel his tight ass.

“I’m ok…” he assured…leaning his head back as he kissed me soundly upon the mouth. “Just don’t stop” Closing my eyes I allowed the seriousness of the situation roll over me. I knew that as I knelt there…holding a man who was beginning to become my everything…my dick lodged deep within his manly ass…that nothing was ever going to be the same again. For a moment I thought about pulling back…fleeing the scene and never looking back…but as he laid his hands upon the arms still wrapped tightly around his chest I knew that I could never go back. “I love you Kyle” he whispered softly…giving those same arms a tender squeeze before he began to move his body to a slow going rhythm. I was too overwrought with emotions to be able to return the sentiment…but I did something better. I took control of the situation as I steadied his body…setting my own motion with only one plan of action in mind…to bring him once again to the ultimate release.

I can still remember how perfectly tight he felt as I increased the friction between the two of us. Being with Max that time…despite my first time making love to a man…it was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my shot lifetime. I had had sex with my fair share of women before that night…but I never felt as close to them as I did with Max. I felt as if we were two souls…two hearts sharing as one. I can still remember every cry of passion that erupted from his beautiful lips as with each thrust I brought him and myself even closer to where we needed to be the most. I knew I was close…knew that I wanted to make our first…but surely not our last night memorable as I tightened the hold that I had on him…screaming the words that I knew he wanted to hear as together we fell over the edge. “I love you Max”
Life after that night became hectic and crazy as he hid the love that we held for each other in the dark. Max was more then willing to exclaim to the world just how much he loved me…but I on the other hand was not ready for such extreme voicing. Instead I forced him to keep our love a secret from our families and most importantly my friends. He said that he understood as long as I promised him that one day I would stop hiding who I truly was and be open and honest about our relationship. I made the promise…of course I did…but I would have said just about anything to ensue that Max never left me. However…even then…deep within my heart I knew that I would never have the balls to tell anyone in Roswell how much I loved the man known as Max Evens.

Part Seven

Everything was wonderful between the two of us for a long time. The end of our Junior year was coming to a close and in a matter of weeks my life became a roller coaster of Max’s highs and lows. It all started right before the prom. I had been completely ignoring the subject…hoping and praying that I would get through it unscathed…but instead I was completely scalded and almost lost the man that I loved. The night started out like any other night as the two of us hide in his room pretending to study…but spending more time studying each other instead.

“Kyle…” he said as I pinned him to the bed…nibbling along his outer ear…a place that I knew drove him mad.

“Mmm…” was my muffled response as I took the tender lobe between my teeth…tugging on it roughly.

“You…you know the prom is coming up in a few weeks” he stammered as I increased my play action.

“Uh huh…” I responded absent-mindedly…trying to get him into the mood as well as trying to avoid what I knew was coming next. “God…I love your ears” I tried to smooth talk him…tracing my tongue along the shell. “Have I told you lately how much I love your ears?”

“Kyle…please…I’m trying to talk to you” he begged…pushing me away…pure determination blazing within his eyes.

“Fine…what?” I asked…already knowing where this was going and not very happy about it.
“It’s just that the prom in coming up and I was wondering if…well…you and I could…”

“Could what?” I asked incredulously as I moved as far away from him as the bed would allow. I felt as if the walls were somehow closing all around me as I reached for my formerly discarded shirt…jerking it over my head.

“I means…we’ve been dating for months now and you promised that one day we would tell the would about us and…” I could see how hard it was for Max to say those words to me…but not as hard as it was going to be for me to break his heart. “I just think that the prom would be a good place for…”

“For us to what?” I asked again…jerking my aggravated frame from off of the bed as I began to pace before him.

“Tell people about us. Jesus Kyle…I love you and I want people to know about it. I want to be able to do things that normal couples do” he went on just as aggravated as I was as he mimicked my earlier action and began to dress himself.

“Are you @#%$ kidding me” I yelled…my pacing coming to a halt as I stopped right in front of him. “You think that we can be like a normal couple at WRH” I went on furious that we were even having that conversation and just how ridicules his ideals were. “So tell me Max…” I drawled…placing my hand under my chin as if in deep thought. “Give me the name of one same sex couple at school”

“Forget it…this was stupid to bring up in the first place” he brushed my question off as he made his way towards the bedroom door. “I should have known that you would blow this off and act like it’s not important. @#%$…you can’t even use the word gay in a sentence. Same sex couple at WRH” he snorted my words back as me…causing my anger to rage out of control.

“Gay…gay…gay…gay…gay…GAY” I repeated the word over and over again making sure to emphasis the final one good and loud before I grabbed my jacket from where it hung on the doorknob. “The fact of the matter is Max…” I went on as I spun to face him one final time before taking my leave. “That although I am sure that there are other GAY couples at WRH…none of them are out in the open. I have basically come to the terms with the fact that I am gay…but there is no way in hell…no matter how much I love you…that I am going to allow anyone to know. I have a rep to uphold and that means as much to me as you do. So now if you’ll excuse me I am going to take my Gay ass…sit it in my GAY car and go to my not so GAY home” I could see the way that his body flinched each time I emphasized that particular word…but I didn’t care. I wanted him to flinch…wanted him to hurt enough to where he would understand that I loved him…but despite that love I would never allow it to tarnish my reputation. Slamming the door loudly behind me I literally raced down the stairs of his home…once again almost knocking Isabel down as she ran to Max’s rescue. I didn’t say a word as I ignored the dirty looks…the angry words as I jumped into my Mustang and sped off into the night.

I was livid as I blazed into my empty house…running up into my room where I slammed the door and pouted for the next few hours. I was so angry with Max that I was willing to just let what we had built up just fade away…but the ringing of my cell phone and a few heart felt words quickly changed my mind of that.

“WHAT…” I screamed into the phone…knowing good and well whom it was. Silence. “I know it’s you Max…so what the @#%$ do you want?” I asked my voice mean and nasty…being such a little prick to the man that I loved.

“Kyle…I’m sorry” I heard him speak sadly…tears evident in the way that his voice hitched with each word.

I felt like a complete and utter @#%$…felt like the biggest @#%$ jerk on the whole @#%$ planet…and I had been. “No…Max…I’m sorry” I countered…bringing the phone closer to my ear as I laid down across the bed. “I was so mean to you and…and…” I didn’t know how to finish what I wanted to say…but Max knew…he always knew.

“You didn’t mean it because you love me…but your scared” he filled in the blanks for me.

“Yeah…” I responded…that no matter how much of a heel I was to Max…he always understood me better then I did myself.

“I love you too Kyle” he whispered…and I could have sworn I heard a smile in his voice…but it didn’t last long. “I love you Kyle…” he repeated again…and I just knew that I wasn’t going to like what it was that he was about to say next. “But…I am so frustrated in the way that things are going with us” My heart was beating so hard within my chest because I knew what was coming next…and despite the fact that Max annoyed me with his need to be out and proud…I didn’t want things to end between us. “I think that…”

“Maybe we should back off and take things slow” I finished for him…my breath hitching in my throat as I waited for him to speak.

“Yeah…” was his plain response…tears once again present in that very word. “You’re just not ready to the man I need you to be. You…yourself dragged me out of the closet so many years ago and now after all the torment and all the pain that I have had to endure you expect me to crawl back in. I can’t do that for you Kyle…I won’t do that for you…or for anyone. I…I…” sobs inhabited him as he tried to speak again…but I cut him off because I wasn’t willing to let him go without a fight…on my terms only.

“Max…I love you” I spoke truthfully and clearly. “I love you and I don’t want this thing to end between us. I want to be with you…only you…don’t you know that yet?” I asked…astonished that he didn’t. “But…we’ve talked about this…you knew about this. I can’t just stand up to everyone that means something to me and tell them that I am an out and proud fag. That’s not the type of person that I am…you knew that coming into this thing. We’ve discussed this all before. We had a plan…and now all of a sudden you want to change things…break from the role-play. You knew what you were getting into” I stressed again. “A few more months…just a few more and then we can go off to college and be together” I semi-vowed…once again telling him what he needed to hear…but with no real plans to follow through on them.

“Really Kyle?” he said.

“Yes…really Max” was my smug reply…for I just knew that I had won another round with my lies.

“So the thing that we have…we can bring it out into the open when we go off to college?” he asked…causing the smile that was placating my face to begin to fade. “So let me get this straight. We have to keep this THING of ours under wraps for the next few months…but after that as we go off to different schools on opposite ends of the country and only then can we bring this thing out into the open”

“Max…” I drawled out…trying to figure out what it was that he was trying to say. “What’s wrong?” I questioned…because I really had no idea what was wrong with him. Shows you how stupid and naive I was back then doesn’t it.

“Nothing’s wrong Kyle” he spoke in a soothing voice that soon had that smile back across my face…only to disappear at his next words. “Nothing’s wrong except for the fact that you are to much of a @#%$ coward to step out from behind your holier then though reputation. You would rather hurt me…the one that you claim to love then face up to the people who only hang out with you because of how cool you are. You’d rather call what he have a thing…then what it was…a relationship. No honey…nothings wrong except that I allowed myself to fall in love with someone that doesn’t know the first thing about loving himself…much less someone else. Well don’t worry Kyle…you don’t have to worry about this thing anymore. We’re through. I can’t and I won’t do this anymore. I refuse to hide who I am and what I feel from anyone…especially you. So you’re free. You can be who you want…do what you want…and continue to live your lie. However…you won’t have me waiting for you in the wings ever again”

“Max…Max…” I screamed into the phone…unable to say much of anything else…and who would have heard me since he had slammed the phone down in my ear. I was stunned…shocked and plain out flabbergasted as I tried to figure out where I lost control of the situation and how I had lost Max in the process. I tried to call him back several times…but only received his answering machine each time. “Max…Max…don’t do this to me…to us” I cried into the phone after hearing his voice on the machine for the tenth time. “Jesus Max…please don’t do this. I love you…can’t that just be enough for you. I finally admit who I am and you pull this @#%$ on me. I’m not like you Max” I continued…knowing that he was there listening. “I’m afraid to come out…afraid of what people think about me. You’re the brave on Max…you always have been. I want to be like you but I can’t…not yet. So please Max…baby…just give us another chance. I love you Max. Do you hear me…I @#%$ love you” I screamed as loud as I could to make just understand just how much I meant those words…but in truth I didn’t know what real love was about. I mean don’t get me wrong…I loved Max…but it could never be more then puppy love until I was willing to stop being so selfish and put him before anything else…including myself.

Part Eight

I didn’t get any sleep that night as I waited for Max to call back and tell me that he forgave me and that everything was going to be ok…but that call never came. I waited for Max in our usual meeting place the next day…nearly exhausted as I had tried to track him down all day…but he never showed. I wasn’t even sure that he was there that day until I say the back of his head as he raced out of the building. “Max…” I cried out after him…sprinting like hell over to where he continued to walk away from me. “Max…wait up” I yelled again…finally reaching him as I forced him to face me. “Jesus…you can really move when you want you” I joked…attempting to ease some of the tension that was choking me.

“What do you want Kyle?” he asked sadder then I could stand as I resisted the urge to run away as usual. “Haven’t you hurt me enough that you need to rub it in even more”

“Max…” I drawled out…wanting to take him into my arms and smother the hurt and pain sprawled out across his face…but knowing that I could not. “Doesn’t it matter to you that I love you” I whispered…sweeping my eyes across the near empty quad. “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?” I continued with my line of questioning…dragging my eyes from my surveying in order to stare up into his.

“I means everything to me” he replied and I could see the truth laying right there in front of me. “You mean everything to me…but like I told you last night Kyle…I can’t do this anymore. To you it’s so easy to hide who you are…but it’s not easy for me. I don’t care what people think of me…but you do and that’s all that matters to you. You may love me Kyle…and I believe that you do…but it’s not enough to give up what you are used to. You want to be the big man that everyone loves…that everyone adores and there is nothing wrong with that. You aren’t willing to change a damn thing in your life…and yet you expect me to change everything in mine. I won’t do that Kyle…I can’t do that”

“You know what Maxwell Evans…@#%$ you” I ground out…angry and more then a little fed up with Max constantly making me feel like a shallow @#%$. I was tired of the games…tired of baring my heart to him…only to have his throw it back at me. I had never had the emotional problems with Maria that I was having with Max and I decided that I liked it that way better. “@#%$ you and your gay morals. I don’t need this @#%$…and I sure as @#%$ don’t need you” my hateful words continued as I began to walk backwards and as far away from him as I could. I could see the raw pain blazing across his face…but I pushed all thoughts of shame aside as I continued my backward assent. “Oooffff” I said as I back into an unseen person. “@#%$…sorry…Maria” I sing songed…grabbing her by the elbow as I turned around and steadied her. “Just the person I was looking for” I said looking out of the corner of my eye ensuring that Max was indeed watching us. “Hey…I know that we are not seeing each other anymore…but if that offer to take you to the prom still stands I would love to take you”

“Are you insane…of course the offer still stands” she screamed giddily within my ear…wrapping her arms around my neck as she crushed me to her womanly body. I watched Max shake his head in shocked upset as he once again took his leave…leaving me to feel emptier and shallow then I had ever felt in my lifetime.

So there is was…prom night with me in my tuxedo…a corsage in my hand as I made my way up the walk of my date’s home. I should have been ecstatic…should have been planning the nights events or the after events as we left the prom behind…but all I could think about was another. All I could think about was the tall…dark and handsome man of my dreams…the one that I wanted to be with more then I could breath. It had been weeks since I had talked to Max…kissed Max…made love to Max and I was teetering on the brink of madness. He had refused all contact with me after that horrible day in the quad…and who could blame him. I had acted irrationally. I had allowed my quick temper and fear to once again inhabit my rational thought with dire results in the end.

Hand poised I reached forward to knock on the door…only to have it thrown open as I came face to face with her over bearing mother. I about pee’d my pants as she jerked me into the house…causing me to chuckle slightly for I then knew where it was that Maria got her pushiness from. “What are your intentions with my daughter?” she asked…her face so close to mine that I could make out every line and wrinkle on her overly made up face. I wanted to tell her that I had absolutely no intentions towards her daughter…but I thought better of it as she continued to glare at me as she awaited my reply.

Dinner…dancing and then home by midnight” I answered as sure as I could as I took a small step backwards…needing to get away from her perfumey air. I didn’t know what her problem was but within a millisecond she was back in my personal space…once again staring so hard at me that I just knew that she was practically reading my soul.

“You hurt my Maria once…don’t you @#%$ do it again” she bit out…moving even closer towards my face…causing me to think for just a second that she was going to kiss me. “I have my eye on you Kyle Valenti” she went on…an obvious threat in her voice.

“Mother…what are you doing?” I heard Maria screech as she raced down the main stairs as fast as her high-heeled feet could carry her. “Leave him alone” she rushed on…coming to my rescue as she stepped between her mother and I.

“I don’t trust him Maria…he’s eyes speak to me. They tell me that he is hiding something…something that could hurt you in the end” she warned her daughter…causing my heart rate to skyrocket as I looked anywhere but where she could look into my eyes. I was petrified that she knew…frozen stiff that my eyes had betrayed me in the worst way…allowing her to see that I was in love with another.

“Don’t start your stupid new age @#%$ again” I heard Maria scream…pushing me literally out the front door before her mother could say anymore. If my night was already so @#%$ up…I would have taken that as an omen…but I pushed past it as we drove in silence towards the prom.

I saw him as soon as we entered the overly decorated room and it caused me to stop dead right in my tracks. He was dressed to the nines in a simple black tux that fit his body to perfection. I could feel the breath leave my body as my eyes traveled up and down his perfectly sculptured physic. “What the hell are you looking at?” Maria asked…bumping into me as I continued to stand there gaping. “I can’t believe it” she went on madly…hands on hips as she glared over in the direction I was looking. My heart began to speed up in my chest in outright fright that she had caught me gawking at Max the way that I was…but it was quickly soothed. “What the hell are you checking Liz out for” she ground out…grabbing me by the hand and she literally dragged me towards our table. I didn’t even try to defend myself as I fell into one of the many chairs around us…not really listening to the ranting of the girl standing before me in flowing chiffon.

I could feel his eyes on me as I continued to pretend to listen to her. Only when she was dragged to the dance floor with the rest of her bitches did I allow my eyes to wander once again over towards where he stood. Our eyes locked immediately…mine begging for forgiveness and understanding…his radiating nothing but anger and sadness. It nearly broke my heart in half to know that I had put that sadness there…but I didn’t have time to harp on it for long once Maria breezed back into my line of vision. The rest of the night was really kind of a blur as we ate…drank…danced and I pretended to be merry. I was like a robot as I did what was expected of me…playing the perfect date to the end…but my eyes never strayed far from Max and his date.

“You mind if I cut in” I heard Isabel ask Maria as we slow danced together in the middle of the dance floor.

“Yes I…” Maria started to say…but Isabel was persistent and she pushed her ample body between the two of us…shoving her out of the way before leading me away from her stunned frame.

“What…have you come to serve me my balls on a plate” I rushed out angrily…awaiting the confrontation that I knew was about to come.

“No…I actually came to tell you that I agree with you” she said…as we continued to spin around the dance floor. “That I think that Max is being completely unfair” I couldn’t speak at first…and I didn’t need to as she went on. “Max is being just an ass for being pissed at you for not wanting to come out. I know exactly what you’re going through…or what you would be going through. High school kids are vicious…and your position in the chain of command means everything. I just wanted you to know that I don’t think that you were wrong for what you did”

“Thanks…” was my saddened reply…because no matter how much her words meant to me…I had still lost Max. “I love him…you have to know that. It’s just that I can’t…I just can’t…” I couldn’t finish my sentence as Maria came bounding back…grabbing my arm as she jerked me away from a sadly smiling Isabel.

“Can you believe the nerve of the social climber and you let her dance with you and…”

“Maria…shut the @#%$ up” I cut her off…brushing my way past her as I walked out of the over crowded gym and into the nearly empty hallway. I just needed some time alone…some time to myself to try and figure out what I was going to do next…but all thoughts came to a halt as I was jerked into an empty classroom. I didn’t know what to think or what to do as I was pushed against the hard wall…soft and familiar lips transcending upon my own. Closing my eyes I fell into the kiss headlong…allowing the taste…the scent…the feel of him to soak into my love starved body. Instinctively my arms wrapped around his waist as I crushed him against my needful body. “Max…oh god Max” I hiccupped as he finally released my lips…allowing me to pull air into my starved lungs. “Oh god Max…I’ve missed you so much” I couldn’t stop touching him as my hands moved over every square inch of his back…my head laying across his chest.

“This changes nothing” I heard him speak…causing me to jerk backwards as if his words were ice water being thrown in my face.

“Wh…what” I stammered as I looked up at him in stunned shock. “What do you mean…what was this all about then?” I pointed between the two of us.

“I don’t know…” was his simple response before he rushed out of the room…leaving me standing there cold and all so alone. I didn’t go back to the prom that night…in fact my father found me passed out in the driveway early that morning. To say that he was pissed was an understatement…but not for finding me the way that he did…but out of concern that any of the neighbors might have seen me. I just tuned him out as she continued to scream at me…thanked him for the punishment of grounding me for the rest of the school year before I headed back to my room to sulk. I did more the sulk that day and days after that as I cried myself stupid. I cried more in those first few days after the prom then I had ever cried in my lifetime up until then and then I decided that I was over it. I decided that I was done feeling sorry for myself and vowed to enjoy what was left of the school year…without Max in my life.

Part Nine

I threw myself back into the social structure of WRH…started hanging out with my friends like I used to…and avoided Maria like the plague. She was upset with me after dumping her at the prom and despite her efforts to make my life a living hell…it all proved futile when it was revealed that she and Malamute had been having an affair long before she and I ever broke up. I gave her the option of leaving me alone…or facing the firing squad known as our peers as I played out the hurt and betrayed ex-boyfriend. Before I know what was happening the school year had ended and I was on my way to football camp.

For six weeks I basically threw myself into the rigors and roughness that was football camp. I didn’t care how rough I got…who I hurt in the process…but when the coach confined me to my room for unacceptable conduct I knew that I had gone to far. The truth of the matter was that I was angry…so fucking angry with Max…at myself that I wanted to make someone hurt. I wanted someone to suffer like I was suffering and unfortunately it took a few guys that I didn’t even know to make me realize just how wrong that was. As a sort of punishment I guess…the coach sent in one of the assistant coaches to speak to me. At first I resisted as much as I could…but eventually I knew that I would have to talk to this kid who wasn’t much older then me in order to play again. It turned out that talking to Michael was even more therapeutic then I could have ever believed. He just sat there and let me grunt and groan about shit that was of no importance…waiting for me to actually talk about the root of the problem. I had no intentions of ever telling him about Max and our heart breaking break up…but he said things to me that let me know that he was truly there to help me and so eventually I broke down and told him all.

“Kyle…I know you’re gay and so am I…so it’s ok to talk to me” he said flat out…sending my heart racing until it was almost popping out of my chest.

“I am not gay…” I denied with vigor…standing in front of him with a look that dared him to speak those words again. He didn’t say anything…just looked up down at me with eyes that spoke to me. They told me that he knew exactly what I was going through and that maybe…if I allowed him to that he could help me. “How did you know?” I asked…finally giving up the fight as I fell down defeated onto the bed.

“I’ve been gay all my life…it’s now second nature to tell whose gay and whose not. I struggled with you for a while though before I really knew. But it all came to me as I watched you practice these last few days. The anger directed at nobody and yet everyone at the same time. Wanting to hurt someone…anyone to try and take away the obvious pain that you are carrying. Any normal guy would have gone out and found some easy chick and banged her until the cows came home…but not you. Instead you stayed on the camp…even when the others snuck out at night and took your anger out on anyone and anything that you could. Some body hurt you and I am willing to bet you that I know why”

“You think so…try me” I laughed…thinking that this guy had no idea what the hell he was talking about…again I was proved wrong.

“You’re struggling with your sexuality. You were the straight guy with the beautiful girl friend and the hundreds of friends and student body that worshipped the very ground you walked on. You thought you had everything and then something changed. You met a man that sent everything in your perfect little life a flutter. You fought if for as long as you could…but eventually the pull got to strong for you and you followed your heart. You fell deeply in love with this guy…but refusing to give up your social status and the idea that you are in fact gay…not straight…you lost him in the mix. Am I getting warm here or am I completely off base?” he asked when I didn’t give him a response.

“How…how did you know?” I asked…completely stunned that he was so dead on with his assumption.

“Kyle…I used to be you five years ago. I was that same popular kid who everyone loved…whom everyone based their high school lives upon. I had the perfect girl and thought that my life was equally as perfect. However…that all changed when I met Brian. Brian was a transfer student from another school and from the first moment that I laid eyes on him I knew that my life was going to change. He was an out and proud gay man and he didn’t care about what anyone thought or felt about it. We became friends on the sly and then eventually I couldn’t hide my feelings for him any longer. God…I can still remember the first time that we made love. I was so fucking scared…but he was gentle and walked me through every step of the way. We dated in secret for months before he got tired of the hiding. He wanted me to come out of the closet and admit who I was and who I loved…but I refused. My popularity and social status was too important to me at that time…more important then he was to me and so I lost him. I lost him and he found someone else. Their married now…moved to Vermont and tied the knot right out of high school” he spoke sadly and I could tell that his feelings for this Brian…despite the fact that it had been over five years was still as strong as ever. “They say that you never get over your first love and for me that saying is true. But…it’s not to late for you Kyle. You can still make things work….because I can tell my looking at you that you really want to”

I really did want to and after several more talks with Michael I felt as if I could. I was tired of hiding who I was…tired of pretending that all the bull shit from high school mattered to me. The only thing that mattered to me at that time was getting Max back and later that summer as the bus drove me back towards Roswell and my love…I was determined that that was what I was going to do.

Part Ten

My father picked me up at the bus stop over an hour late with some cheap bimbo on his arm. He put on a great show…making it seem that he really missed me…but I could see through it lie as usual. Once he dropped me off at the house he vowed to be back later that day so we could catch up…but I knew that it would be the next day…quite possibly days before I saw him again…but I was ok with that. I needed to see Max and that was all that mattered to me. I had everything down to a science. I was going to declare my love to him…beg for however long it took before he finally relented and then I was going to make love to him like he had never been made love to before. I couldn’t stop the smile that plagued my lips as I drove down the familiar streets of Roswell New Mexico…only to have it grow in strength as I spotted my love standing in front of the local ice cream parlor. Putting the car in reverse I quickly found a parking spot…racing from my car until I was standing right in front of him.

“Hey Max…” I cried out winded…trying to control my breath and my wildly beating heat in order to declare my love.

“Hey…Kyle…” he drawled out…looking behind him nervously before turning his attention back at me. “It’s nice to see you again” he spoke in almost monotones…that just didn’t set quite right with me…but I ignored them because I had something to say.

“Jesus Max…I’ve missed you so much and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am for the way that things turned out. But…I’ve changed now and I was hoping that we could try and get back together again” He went to speak but I cut him off because I wanted to make sure to say all that I had to say before I lost my nerve. “I love you Max. I can say that loud and clear now and not be ashamed of who hears it. I want to be with you…out in the open because no one makes me feel like you do Max. Just tell me that you forgive me and we can go back to the way things were. No wait…not the way things were” I corrected…not getting the reaction that I was expecting as he continued to stand before me with a strange look upon his face. “I’m going to come out Max…I promise you that and then we can do like you wanted to do. We could…”

“Here you go honey” I heard a somewhat familiar face speak to Max as he handed him an ice cream cone. I watched as he placed his then free hand around Max’s waist…pulling him tightly against his body. I was too stunned to move…too stunned to do much of anything as I stared into Max’s eyes…trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Kyle…you know Alex” Max spoke slowly…pulling his eyes from mine for just a second as he smiled over at the man still holding him. “Alex this is Kyle Valenti”

“Hey man…how’s it going?” he asked with a smile…reaching his hand out to shake mine.

“Whitman yeah…you graduated last year right?” I asked…amazed that I could even find the strength to speak…much less stand up.

“Yep…down visiting my folks for the summer and getting reacquainted with some old friends of mine” he beamed over at Max…kissing his quickly upon the lips before turning his attention back towards me. “Hey we were about to go and hang out at the park…you want to join us?” he asked…completely clueless as to what had been going on between Max and I before he had showed up or what had transpired while he was away. Anger and upset began to consume me as I fought the urge to pound his scrawny ass into the ground. I couldn’t believe the emotions that were flowing through me as I continued to stand there glaring at Max as if trying to figure out just how long this had been going on. It was obvious that he had never told Alex that he and I were more then just simple acquaintances and that alone was enough to make me want to bawl right there on the spot. But then it hit me like a two by four square in the head…what I was feeling at that exact moment was exactly what Max had been feeling the entire time that I forced him to hide who he was and what we were.

“Thanks for the offer Alex…but I actually just got back from football camp today and I still have a lot of unpacking and stuff to do. Thanks for the offer though. Maybe I’ll catch the two of you around some other time. It’s nice to see you again Alex. Bye Max…” I said a little more quietly as I sent them both an a attempt at a real smile…practically running for the car in order to get as far away from them as possible. Tears littered my cheeks as I made my way back home…needing to work through what I had just found out. I had fucked up royally and I needed someone to talk to and I knew just who it was that I could.

Michael showed up at my house exactly two hours later. I was grateful that I had met him at camp…and even more grateful that he only lived one town over and was will to help me out. He patiently listened to me as I droned on and on about losing Max and what a loser I was. He assured me that I was not a loser and that just because Max was with another did not mean that I had lost him altogether. I had to laugh at his remark since it was plainly obvious to me that Max had moved on and I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be alone that night and asked Michael to stay and he agreed…giving me another lesson of being a gay man. The night started out like any other time that I had a teammate spend the night…me in the bed and Michael on an air mattress of the floor. We had talked late into the night and after coming up with several ideas on how to get Max back we bunked down for the night. I was drifting off to sleep with dreams on Max already bombarding my mind when I felt the bed dip beside me. “Michael was are you doing?” I asked…confused as to why he was in my bed…much less touching my nearly nude body.

“Something I’ve wanted to do since I met you” he spoke earnestly as he trapped me under the bulk of his body…arms on either side of my shoulder as he hindered any chance of escape. I could feel his misty breath as it whispered across my parched lips…sending my neither regions into a full-blown panic.

“Max…” I whispered…trying to gain control of my every growing dick…but failing miserably.

“I know you love Max…Kyle…and I respect that…but this is just sex. I don’t expect anything in return and it has absolutely nothing to do with your love for Max” was his reply as he leaned down and kissed me. I really did want to fight him…but then images of Alex with Max began to assault me and before I knew what I was doing I had turned the tables and pinned Michael onto his back. I kissed him long and I kissed him hard and although it was nothing like the kisses I had shared with Max…they were enough to take away the loneness and the pain…at least for the moment. Michael and I had outright raunchy sex that night. There was nothing loving or gentle about it…but he taught me things that I still use to this day. He taught me all about leaning to control myself to bring the utmost pleasure to who ever I happened to be fucking. After that we fell asleep in each other’s arms and despite the fact that it was Max whose arms I long to feel around me…his were comforting as well.

The next morning we set out for the Crash Down for a quick breakfast before he went back home. That morning we had made the decision to remain only friends and it was a decision that I was more then happy to make. We laughed and joked on each other the entire time that we were together…but all laughter and fun came to an abrupt end when Alex and Max entered the café. “Fuck…” I cried out…nearly choking on my orange juice as I attempted to take a sip.

Part Ten

“What?” Michael asked concerned…turning to look where my eyes had landed…quickly figuring it out as he took in his first look at the newest happy couple of Roswell. “So…the elusive Max” he spoke more to himself then to me as he continued to check him up out from top to bottom…a look that I did not care of much at all.

“You can put your tongue back into your mouth” I growled through clenched teeth…pulling my eyes away from Max in order to let him know just how much I did not like him ogling my ex.

“I can’t help it” he chuckled…turning back to look at me. “You never said that he was a stone cold fox. Chill dude…” his chuckles turned into a fit of laughter that soon had me laughing along side of him. However…my laughter did not last long as Max and Alex strolled arm and arm up to our table.

“Hey Kyle…” I heard Alex greet me with a smile…a smile that I wanted to wipe off his face with my fist.

“Whitman…” I responded…nodding at him before locking eyes with a still quiet man standing beside him. “Hey Max…” I said nonchalantly…praying like hell that he was hurting as much as I was.

“So…who is your friend here?” Alex cut Max off before he had a chance to speak. I could tell immediately that he was attracted to Michael…but I could also tell that Michael wasn’t attracted to him as he raised his eyebrow at me…shooting me a funny look across the table.

“Um yeah...right…this is Michael Novotny” I introduced…watching the interaction between them as he shook each one of their hands.

“So do you mind if we join you…or is this a private party?” Alex grinned down at the two of us.

“Alex maybe we should just sit somewhere else” Max broke in…a full frown upon his face but his eyes never leaving my own.

“Nonsense” I spoke before my brain had a chance to register that I had even spoken. “Join us…that would be great” I fake smiled…attempting to get out of the booth so Alex and Max could sit down together. Alex…however had other ideas as he pushed Max towards me…sitting down next to a grinning Michael. “So Kyle…how is it that you know Michael here?” he asked…not once breaking the drooling look that he had on him. I actually felt sorry for Max because there was no denying that if given the chance Alex would have fucked Michael right on the table in front of him.

“Um we met at football camp” I said…gritting my teeth as I kicked Michael under the table.

“So your not from around here?” Max finally spoke up…looking directly at Michael as he went on.

“No…I live in Dexter actually. Kyle called me yesterday and asked me to come over and well…here I am” he beamed at me…ignoring the dirty looks that I was shooting his way.

“Oh…” Max said sadly…looking down at the table as the waitress brought them some silverware and a couple of menu’s. The rest of the meal was really uneventful with Max saying nothing more then a few grunts and groans as replies…while Michael and Alex dominated most of the conversation. I noticed that Max didn’t eat a bite of his breakfast as the waitress came to clean up the empty plates and I could have only hoped that it was because of what he thought was going on between Michael and myself.

A few minutes later I heard Michael ask Alex to go with him to look at the jukebox…leaving Max and I truly alone for the first time in months. “Are you ok?” I asked concerned replacing my need for small revenge with concern.

“Sure…I’m fine” was his simple reply as he began to play with the paper napkin in his hand.

“Well you didn’t eat any of the breakfast that you ordered and…”

Is he your boyfriend?” He blurted out…turning to face me with pure anger in his normally hazel eyes.

I didn’t know how to answer that. I mean…I wanted to lie and say that yes Michael was my boyfriend in order to make him jealous. But…I knew that I could never lie about something like that and not get caught in that lie. “No…he’s not my boyfriend” I answered truthfully…not knowing how to explain my relationship with Michael. I didn’t know if we were lovers of just friends or if it was even possible to separate the two since we had done the deed. “I needed someone to talk to last night and I called him and he came over” I spoke the truth…just opting to leave out certain parts of what really happened.

“So you just called him and he drove over two hours to just listen to you” he spoke in aggravated tones that soon had me on the defensive. “Who the hell are you kidding Kyle. You called him down here for a booty call. Jesus you really are a gay man now aren’t you?”

I was stunned and livid that Max had the nerve to say something like that to me…after everything that had happened between us. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I questioned him…grabbing onto a fork left on the table as I bent it in half. “You have no right to talk to me like this…to question me like this” I spat out…trying to control my tempter and the urge to throw him on the table and have my way with him…because truth be told that was really what I wanted to do. “You who break up with me because I wasn’t ready to come out yet…despite the fact you knew how afraid I was. You who pulled me into a darkened classroom the night of the prom…kissing the shit out of me then telling me that it changed nothing. You who claimed to love me…and yet you now have a boyfriend who you have been flaunting in front of me ever since I came back. I have broken down and exclaimed my love to you on more occasions then I care to remember and not once have you reciprocated that action. So…yes Max in answer to your question it was a booty call. I needed to be with someone that wanted to be with me…because that someone sure as hell isn’t you” Tears littered my eyes...which only set my anger flaring even more. “I may love you Max…but this is the last time that you will hear it from my lips. So fuck you Max…FUCK YOU” I screamed loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear as I shoved him as hard as I could onto the floor before racing out the café with a confused Michael in tow.

I was such a fucking mess as I tried to find the right key to open the car door…unable to do so as I leaned against the unopened door…sliding to the ground below. “Kyle…what the fuck just happened?” I heard Michael ask as he strode over to me…but I was too much of a mess to answer him. “Come on I’ll drive you home” he spoke softly as he grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the warm ground.

“I never knew that being gay would be this painful” I sobbed as I allowed him to pull me into his arms…not caring about the strange looks that I was receiving from passerbyers.

“It’s only painful at the beginning…after that it’s all how you choose to lead your life” he soothed…kissing me on the forehead as he ushered me into the passenger side of the car. As we drove by I watched as Max walked out of the Crash Down with a ranting Alex behind him. I could tell that he wasn’t listening as he locked eyes with me until we could no more. I didn’t put up much of a fight once we reached my house as Michael helped me out of the car. How could I…I was emotionally and physically exhausted. No words were spoken as he lead me into the bed room…stripping me down to my underwear before settling me down under the comforter of my bed. “I’m going to head back home now” he whispered against my ear as he kissed me soundly upon my lips before sharing with me a small smile and then he was gone. I don’t know how long I slept but when I woke up it was nearly dark outside as I got out of bed…got dressed and made my way downstairs for something to eat. The ringing of the doorbell hindered that process as I walked over and opened it and came face to face with a tearful Max.

Part Eleven

He was in my arms before I had a chance to say or do anything and who was I to protest. The feel of his body pressed against mine…the touch of his hands as they maneuvered their way across my back…it was exactly what I had been craving for far to long. He mumbled words that made absolutely no sense to me…but I didn’t care because all that mattered was that he was in my arms again…and I wanted to relish it because I didn’t know how long he would be. I somehow managed to maneuver him into the living room where we sat quietly on the couch…still wrapped in each other’s arms. We just held each other…the only sounds surrounding us were soft hiccupping sounds coming from Max and the ticking of the wall clock. I didn’t know what him being there meant…but I could only hope and pray that it meant that once and for all Kyle and Max were going to become a couple again.

“I’m so sorry Kyle…for everything” Max finally spoke ripping the silence around us. “I never meant to let it get this far…never meant to hurt you. I was so angry at you for refusing to come out of the closet…that not once did I ever stop to think about what you were going through. I never wanted to break up with you the way that I did…but my pride was hurt and I reacted like a silly little school girl with my threats and my games” I could tell that it was really hard for Max to speak his words…but I allowed him to continue because everything had to come out if we were to try again. “That night at the prom I couldn’t control myself. You walked in with Maria and my whole world just stopped. You looked so handsome and I got angry again because I wanted it to be me who walked in on your arm. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the entire night and then when I saw you leave…I followed you. I know that it was wrong of me to lead you on the way that I did…but I couldn’t help myself. I had to kiss you Kyle…had to feel you…because I was so fucking lonely without you”

“I was looking pretty hot…wasn’t I?” I teased…puffing my chest out in an attempt to break the tension.

“You looked absolutely amazing” he giggled…ducking his head in that shy way that used to drive me wild.

“Well you didn’t look so bad yourself” I replied truthfully…remembering just how hot he looked in his tuxedo.

“Really…I didn’t think that you noticed” he blushed…with a flirty smile that made me want to kiss him right then and there.

“Oh I noticed Max…trust me on this…I noticed. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you either. In fact Maria thought that I was checking out Liz…but it was you that my eyes kept flocking to”

“We really fucked things up didn’t we?” he asked…tears once again misting his eyes as he stared into my own.

“Yeah…we did” I replied truthfully. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t admit our mistakes and learn from them” I assured…placing my hand under Max’s chin as I leaned in and did what I had been dying to do from the moment I laid eyes on him the previous day. The kiss was soft and sweet and everything that I missed and loved about that man. However soon simple kisses were not enough as I increased the pressure and the velocity of those kisses…gliding him backwards until he was laying in his back and I was atop him.

“So does thing mean what I think it means?” I heard him speak nervously after we had broken our lip exchange.

“Did you get rid of Alex?” I asked in a teasing manner…but also completely serious at that same time.

“I never wanted to be with Alex…Kyle. I’ve ever only wanted to be with you. I told him this morning that I loved you…that I was in love with you and that I couldn’t see him anymore”

I couldn’t control the smile that blazed across my face and the song that once again began playing in my heart at his words. Leaning down I stole a quick kiss from him before ripping myself off of his glorious body. “Why don’t you follow me upstairs and we can find out what it means” I flirted over my shoulder…ripping my shirt from off my body as I tossed it at his stunned frame. Within seconds he was chasing me up the stairs…pinning me to the wall of my bedroom as he began to kiss the shit out of me. Our clothing became lost in the mix as we fell on top of my bed…naked limbs tangled and confused as we prepared for what was about to happen next. I was in heaven…glorious mind numbing heaven as our bodies once again became familiar with each other. I felt as if I was going to explode if I didn’t get inside him soon and as usual Max knew exactly what I was thinking as he halted all action. “Make love to me Kyle” he whispered…staring nervously into my eyes as he awaited my reaction. Kissing him soundly I left his side for a moment as I searched for the elusive condoms…returning within seconds as I prepared myself and him for what was about to happen next.

“On your knee’s” I commanded…smiling down gently at him as he looked up at me in wonder. I couldn’t really tell if he was shocked or frightened…but it didn’t matter because he did what I asked as I pressed my body flush against his. “I love you Maxwell Evans” I whispered against his ear…wrapping a free arm around his chest as I prepared myself with the other.

“Oh god I love you too” he cried out a moment later as I impaled myself deep within his depths. Locking my free arm to rest with the other I began to set a motion that hit all the right focal points…bringing both of us immense pleasure as I did. The sounds escaping our lips were loud and primal…as I continued to fuck him for all that I was worth. However…they weren’t as loud as the sounds of hysterical anger and shock as my father came barging into the room and found his only son fucking his teenaged lover.

To tell you the truth the events after that are really just one big blur. One minute I was making love to the only man that I had ever loved and then the next minute he was jerking us apart. We each sat stunned on the floor after that…trying to figure out what the hell to do next…but my pop knew exactly what to do as he grabbed Max’s clothes from off the floor. “Get the fuck out of my house before I kill you…you dirty faggot” he cried out…throwing Max’s clothes at him before grabbing him by the neck and jerking him into a standing position. I watched in horror as he wrenched him…still by the neck across the expanse of the room before dragging him still naked down the stairs.

“Pop…leave him alone” I screamed once I finally got my wits about me…racing after them without a stitch of clothing on myself. “You’re fucking hurting him” my cries continued as Max tripped down the last step in the hallway…falling to his knees as he cried out in fearful pain.

“Kyle…get the fuck back into your room and get dressed. I will deal with you in a moment” He spit out over his shoulder…his eyes about ready to burst out of his head. Instead I ignored him as I raced down the stairs…falling beside Max as I gave him a quick once over to make sure that he was not truly hurt. “I’m sorry Max. I never meant for any of this to happen”

“I know” he spoke quickly over the animalistic sounds that my father was making as he once again grabbed Max by the neck. I tried to stop him…but was rendered momentarily senseless as the back of his hand came in contact with my face. I watched in stunned horror as my father sent the love of my life through the stained glass of the unopened front door.

“MAX…” I cried out…jumping off of the floor as I went to aid the bleeding form of my love as he lay unmoving on the walkway. “OMG…MAX” my screams only continued as I tried desperately to get to him…only to have my world go black as a bunched up fist came my way. I don’t know how long I was out…but when I woke up I was lying on the bed…fully dressed in my room with my father sitting in a chair of the other side of it. “Max…” I cried out in pain as I tried to get out of bed…only to find that I was somehow tied to it. “What the fuck are you doing?” my cries continued as I struggled like crazy to get free. “Where’s Max? How is he?” I was in a near full-blown panic as he continued to sit there staring at me as if he had lost his mind. I knew that I should have cared…but I didn’t. All I wanted to know was where Max was and how he was doing.

He didn’t say anything for a long time…but when he did it caused my blood to run cold. “I called your friend Malamute to come and escort your friend Max home” he spoke coldly…sending the chill in my veins up a few degrees higher. “He and his friends were more then willing to help me out with my little problem”

“Let me go…let me go” I screamed in an all out panic. “They’re going to kill him. Please…you don’t know them like I do…they won’t be happy until he is dead” I could feel the rope that tied me down as it cut into my skin…but I didn’t care…Max was the only thing that was important to me at that time.

“They won’t kill him…only rough him up a bit” he spoke calmly…to calmly as he got up off of his chair and began to pace in front of me. “You see I have another problem to deal with as well. You see I have a problem coming home and finding my son fucking another man” his calm tone continued…and I knew I was in for it when not once did his voice waiver. “Do you know what that is like Kyle? Do you know what it’s like to have the neighbors know that your son if a fucking faggot?” his words got higher and nastier as his pacing speed increased. “I said do YOU?” he stopped before me bending over to scream in my face.

“I don’t give a fuck what the neighbors think” I screamed out in response…still struggling like hell to break free of my restraints. “I don’t care what you think…because I love him” the words escaped from my lips with a small smile of victory of finally being able to say them to another human being. However…my smile didn’t last long as once again a fist of fury slammed across my smiling face.

“NO…” he screamed as I fought like hell to stay alert and not fall into the black pit that was beckoning me. “Wrong answer. I will not live with a fucking pansy boy in my house. You are not gay…do you hear me…NOT GAY” his cries rose louder and louder until my ears were ringing from the decibels.

“You can’t change what I am” I laughed madly…trying not to choke on the blood that was leaking its way down my throat. “Wither you like it or not…I’m gay. I’m gay and in love with another man. You can do what you want to me…tie me to the bed…beat me…you can fucking kill me but it won’t change the fact that I am a FUCKING HOMO” my cries got louder and so did my tears as they blazed down my swollen face. I watched in utter fear as he walked over to me…trembled unmercifully as he untied the rope that bound me…only to leave me there shuddering as he made his way over towards the door.

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house” he spoke in that same calm voice from before. “I don’t care where you go…where you stay. I don’t have a son anymore” I was to stunned to speak…but relieved that he hadn’t beaten me into a bloody pulp as I got up from the bed. As if I was a zombie…I grabbed my still yet to be unpacked travel bag and did as he asked without even looking back. Getting into my car I drove straight for Max’s in hopes that he was there and not to badly hurt. As I pulled into the driveway I knew that something was wrong since it was now evening and not a light was on in the house. Bone curdling dread began to consume me as I raced out of the driveway praying like hell that I wasn’t to late.

My heart was beating so hard in my throat the I felt as if I were going to vomit at any minute. “I need to know if a Max Evans has been brought in here?” I questioned the person sitting behind the nurse’s station.

“Sir…are you ok? Do you need medical attention?” she asked…coming around the desk trying to help me.

“Look…I don’t need any fucking help. Just tell me if Max Evans has been brought in here” I screamed…my panic level at an all time high as she just gaped at me in horror. “Jesus…” I cried out in full frustration as I turned from the desk running down a hallway with sign leading towards the emergency room. I scanned the room frantically looking for any sign of Max or his family…finding none as I raced up to the desk there. “Can you tell me if a Max Evans was brought in tonight?” I asked near breathless…trying to control the tears of panic that threatened to over burden me. “Please…I just need to know if he’s ok” I finally lost the battle as I crumpled to the floor in a train wreck of a mess…sobbing at all that I had lost the day. At first they all just stared at me…but then an orderly named Todd finally came to my rescue…helping me off of the floor as he lead me into another hallway.

“Look your friend was brought in here a couple of hours ago” he said…holding me against the wall because truth be told my legs just wouldn’t hold me up anymore.

“Is he ok?” I sobbed…not caring that I was a complete and utter mess…just needing to know that the man that I loved was ok.

“He’s in a coma…he has been since they brought him in. They caught the guys that did it and they were charged with committing a hate crime” he said sadly…giving me a look that told me he was pretty sure who I was and why Max was now in a coma. “Lets get you cleaned up a little bit and then I will take you to where he is staying”

“No…no…please…I just need to see him. Please…I am begging you just take me to see him” I begged…falling once again to my knees as I lost myself once again. I figured that I had frightened him away with my outburst as he walked away from me…only to return a moment later with a wheelchair. I didn’t say anything as he once again helped me off of the floor and into the chair before rolling us into a nearby elevator.

“I just want to warn you that his family is there and they may not allow you to see him” he spoke sadly…placing his hand upon my arm as he knelt before me. “You also need to know that he was beaten very severely. If he hasn’t been brought in when he was there was a good chance that he wouldn’t have made it. Just prepare yourself” he soothed with a thin smile…pushing me out into another hallway as we entered the intensive care unit. I spotted Isabel the instant that we made our way down the hall…her cries of fear and shock echoing around us when she spotted me as well.

“OMG…Kyle not you to” she cried out…racing over to where I continued to sit exhausted in the wheelchair. “What happened? Who did this to you?” she threw question after question at me…but I couldn’t answer her until I knew how Max was doing.

“Max…” I spoke softly…fighting the urge to break down before her out of fear and the fact that my whole body was screaming out in extreme pain.

“Oh Kyle…” she bellowed…throwing her arms around my neck as I bit my lip until it bled to keep from screaming in agony. “He’s in a coma and they don’t know if or when he will come out of it” I could feel her tears as they wet my shirt as I lifted my painful arms and placed them on her shoulders. Together we shed tears for the man that meant the most to us in the entire world. “No one knows what the hell happened…just that someone found him in a garbage can. They threw him in a garbage can like he was yesterdays trash” her tears increased as did her grip around my body. “It was Malamute and his cronies. What happened Kyle?? Why did they do this to my brother? Who the hell did this to you?” she started her round of questions again as she finally released me…still kneeling on the floor before me as she waited for me to tell her every detail.

“Isabel…” I heard a soft spoken women call out her name as she came out of a room that I knew had to be Max’s mother. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds after that as she stared at me as if trying to figure out what to do with me and who could blame her. Her son was in a coma after being beaten nearly to death and then there I was looking almost as bad I was sure. “You shouldn’t be here” she finally spoke…sending my panic level into the outer limits as I tried to figure out how to explain to her who I was and what had happened.

“Mom…no” Isabel spoke up…getting up off of the floor as she went to her mother. “I know that you are confused and scared…but Kyle is Max’s boyfriend and although I don’t know what really happened today…I do know that Kyle needs to be here for Max. Maybe he can shed some light on how and why this happened and maybe…” her tears began again as she clutched at her mothers hand. “Maybe if Max knows that Kyle is here and safe…maybe he will come back to us”

“They’re checking his vitals now and getting ready to run some more tests. They asked us to come back in about an hour” she replied in that same soft-spoken voice. “Kyle…would you like to join us in the cafeteria?” she didn’t wait for an answer as she walked over to where Todd the orderly was still standing as if keeping watch over me. “Excuse me Todd” she spoke to him…giving him a small smile. “Can we get someone to take a look at Kyle before we do that”

“Yes Maam” was his reply as he patted me gently upon my shoulder before disappearing down the hallway. A moment later he came back with box in his hand as he moved us out of the middle of the hallway and began to work on my yet to be seen face. It was a painful process as he cleaned and bandaged my wounds before I asked Isabel for a mirror to check out the damage. I couldn’t believe how awful I looked and just how much physical damage my own father had done to his only son. My left eye was almost completely swelled shut…both my lips looking like torn pieces of flesh. The right side of my cheek was a ghoulish dark purple and blue and there was dark coloring completely around my neck. “Do you want something for the pain?” Todd asked…not giving me a chance to answer before he was once again down the hall…this time bringing a doctor with him.

I was forced to be checked in…but only as an outpatient in order for them to be able to prescribe the pain meds needed. I was grateful for everything that Todd and the doctor did for me…but growing particularly impatient with the fact that I had not been able to see Max yet. Our time in the cafeteria was long and tension filled as Max’s mother kept staring at me as if this was all my fault and in a sense I guess that she was right. “It’s all my fault I finally blurted out” trying like hell not to choke on the sob that was steaming its way up my constricting throat. “I’m the reason that he’s in here…that he’s like this”

“Kyle…that can’t be true” Isabel spoke up…shock and confusion written so plainly across her face. “I know that this isn’t your fault. You love Max and you would never do anything to hurt him or to cause him harm” she defended me staunchly…causing the sob that I had been battling with to expel from my lips.

“Loving him is the reason that he’s here” I rushed out…covering my mouth to hinder any more heart broken sounds to exit my lips.

“I don’t understand?” his mother spoke…finally breaking her silence as she took my free hand into her own. “Why don’t you start from the beginning and tell us what happened” I couldn’t speak…not at first as I recalled the many conversations where Max had talked about his mother. I used to tease him and call him a mommy’s boy…but he would just smile and proudly claim that title. He would always talk about her sweetness…her forgiving nature and her generosity in helping those in need. He loved his mother…he was proud of his mother and as I continued to sit there I hoped that she could help me work through my own guilt and trauma. I did exactly as she asked…I started from the beginning and by the time that I was done both women were completely over run with tears. “Oh Kyle…none of this is your fault” he mother cried softly…still holding my hand as she gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t you see that?”

“Then why do I feel so guilty?” I hiccupped…removing my hand from her grasp as I wiped away my cascading tears. “If I’m not to blame then why is he laying in a hospital bed in a coma” my words got louder as I stood up and began to pace the sticky linoleum floor. “It’s my fault that he’s up there…maybe dying” I cried out…falling to the floor because my legs just couldn’t hold me up anymore. They were surrounding me within milliseconds as together they enraptured me within a cocoon of loving warmth unlike I had never felt before. “I’m so sorry” my pain cascaded onward. “I am so sorry for making this happen to him. I love him so much” I rocked back and forth as I lost myself completely in my fears and my pain. “I can’t lose him…I just can’t lose him”

“You won’t…you won’t lose him Kyle” Isabel cried almost silently before me. “And none of this is your fault. This is your homophobic father’s fault and those jerks that he got to help him” her words got louder as her grip increased. “They did this to Max…not you. Your only crime was loving Max…and lord knows he loves you. He would never forgive himself if he allowed you to take the blame on something that you had no control over. You didn’t make your father do all those horrible things to him and Jesus Kyle…look at yourself…look what he did to you. He did these things to you because you defended the man that you loved. So that doesn’t make you guilty…it makes you a hero”

“I don’t feel like much of a hero” I sobbed even harder as Isabel’s words began to sink in.

“But you are” Max’s mother finally spoke up. “Like Isabel said…you tried to defend my son and in the process got hurt yourself. Max is very lucky to have someone like you in his life” she soothed…hugging me from behind as she continued to whisper beautiful words against my ear. That’s where the nurse who was looking for us found us…on the dirty floor of the cafeteria huddled together as we cried over everything that had happened.

“He’s awake” She exclaimed as we jumped up off of the floor and rushed as fast as we could to his room. “Only immediate family can see him” she spoke as we stood outside his room watching as he talked to the doctor still checking his vitals.

I could feel my heart fall into my stomach at her words…because I was dying just to touch him…to feel him…to make sure that he truly was going to be alright. I watched as his mother led the nurse away and the determined look that she got upon her face as she spoke stern words. “Watch this…my mother is a natural at getting what she wants” Isabel giggled for the first time since I had found them. I watched as more stern words were spoken…watched as her hands went flying every which way…watched as she pointed in my direction before turning her attentions back towards the unsuspecting nurse. I watched as the nurse shock her head from side to side as if telling her no…only to nod in approval moments later before stomping off past us.

“Ok…Isabel and I will go and see Max first and then you can go in afterwards” she spoke so nonchalantly that I almost didn’t understand her.

“Huh…” were the only words that I could summons as she smiled down on me.

“I told her that you were Max’s boyfriend and that you had just as much right to be able to see him as we did. Further more…I told her it was my wish that you be able to visit him during visiting hours as much as you want and that if anyone gave me any grief that I would get my lawyer involved. It’s good to be married to a lawyer” she beamed…kissing me softly upon my forehead as she patted me on the shoulder. “Why don’t you get some rest while Isabel and I visit with him and then when we are done you can spend some time with him as well” Once again speechless…I could only nod before Isabel pulled me into a bone crushing hug that had me crying out in pain.

“Oh shit…Kyle…sorry” she rushed out…catching her blunder as she finally released me…turning to her mom as she did. “Um…sorry mom” Her mother didn’t say anything…just smiled down at her as she took her hand and together they walked into Max’s room. I watched from the window at the way that his face light up when they surrounded his bed. I was so completely jealous of Max at that particular place in time…because truth be told the man had it all. He had good friends…a kind heart…was smart as a tack and would make it anywhere that he chose in life…but most importantly he had a family that loved him without conditions. Tears blazed down my cheek as I walked over towards the waiting room…falling down in near exhaustion onto a pleather couch behind me. I guess that I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I saw was Isabel’s tearstained face before mine. “He’s dying to see you” she giggled as she plopped onto the couch beside me. “He hasn’t stopped asking for you since we entered his room”

“Is it ok to see him?” I asked fearfully…looking around the shabby lobby in search of Mrs. Evans and not finding her. “Your mother…she’s still with Max?”

“No…she said that she had something to take care of and that she would be back in a little while” Isabel replied through a yawn. “She said that she would be back in about thirty minutes…so why don’t you go and spend that time with Max” She didn’t have to ask me twice as I jerked my painful body from off of the couch and hobbled back over to his room.

For being in such a rush to see him…total panic and fear set in the minute that I got to the door. Hand on knob…all I could do was stand there and stare at what appeared to be his slumbering form. Closing my eyes I tried to will myself to move…but no matter what I told myself the fear had me and refused to cooperate. “I was just about ready to slink away when his voice called out to me. “Kyle…” he whispered groggily as he turned to face me. I knew without saying a word that he knew everything that I was feeling…everything that I was going though as his eyes pleaded for me to enter. With slow and painful steps I did his bidding…taking the hand that was out stretched to me as I stood at his bedside. “OMG Kyle…he did this to you” he cried out…reaching his other hand upwards…only to have it fall back to his side from the pain in his movement. “I’m so sorry Kyle…so sorry for all of it” his pain laced words continued as tears dripped lazily down the sides of his face.

“Max…” I whispered leaning down until I was near level with his face. “Hey…you have nothing to be sorry about. I should be the one apologizing to you” my own tears mixed with his as I tried to fight the overwhelming shame that was once again consuming me. “My father did this to you. He is the reason that you’re here is this hospital room…that you were in a coma. FUCK…” I cried out removing my hand from his hand as I walked towards the other side of the room. “I should have never started this. You wouldn’t be lying here looking like death if I hadn’t kissed you that first night” I berated myself verbally and mentally as I began to walk the length of the small private room.

“If you’ll remember correctly…I kissed you first” he reminded with a soft…grimaced chuckle. “You only came back afterwards because I beguiled you with my charms” his smile continued to grow as he once again reached out to me with his somewhat good hand. “How about we agree that no one in this room is at fault and vow to stick together no matter what. We’ve gone through the bad stuff…there has to be some good stuff out there for us as well”

“Did you really think that I was going anywhere?” I laughed despite my fear and shame. “Jesus Max…I may have almost lose you one…ok maybe twice” I giggled myself. “But I won’t ever lose you again. You’re stuck with me for as long as you will have me” I vowed…rushing over to him as I took his still out stretched hand into my own. “I love you Max and I am yours…no matter what”

“Oh Jesus…now your going to make me cry” he laughed happily…pulling me forward until my face was once again hovering above his grinning one. “Now shut up and kiss me already” I didn’t know what was about to happen after that moment in time…but what I did know that no matter what…just as I had pledged my vow…nothing was ever going to part us again.

Well all I can say about life after that is that it was completely different. However…as I sit here and recall those days I realize that I never really started living until after Max was put in the hospital. After we shared our kiss…his pain meds began to kick in and he was out like a light. Kissing him once again upon his slack lips I left him. I had no idea where I was going to go…where I was going to stay or what I was going to do. I figured that I would get a cheap hotel room for the night…shower and get some rest before coming back to visit Max the next day. Mrs. Evans…however…had a different plan for me and once she got the ball rolling I was powerless to stop it. While I was in with Max she had talked to Liz’s father and explained to him the whole situation. Before I knew what was happening I was an extended family member of the Parker’s with a waitering job to boot. I wasn’t given a choice in any of the decisions that were made…but truth me told I was more then grateful for all of it.

Liz and I became quite close…just like a real brother and sister and it is a relationship that I cherish still till this day. Daily we would go and visit Max while he recuperated in the hospital. It was a long drawn out process to get him well again…but one that was so worth each agonizing moment. The summer flew by and before I knew it…it was time to grace the halls of WRH once again as seniors. I had severed all ties with my former life…my former friends and my former lifestyle and I was all the better for it. I had the most important people in my life standing tall right beside me as Max…Isabel…Liz and myself made out way into the over crowded halls. I expected to hear the jeers and the insults from our classmates at learning that despite the fact that they had put Max in a coma…a few of their own…along with my father were now imprisoned for the next fifteen years. Instead we got the complete opposite as thundering applause erupted as we made our way towards our lockers. At first we could only stand there and gape…but soon the feeling of warmness…forgiveness and even love began to emanate the entire campus.

It is still amazing to me that after everything that we went through…that senior year breezed by without a hitch. Max and Liz graduated at the top of the class as expected while I graduated with the rest of the average students. We spent the rest of the summer hanging out…being together and just having fun like teenagers our age should. In the fall we all went off in different directions….including Max and myself. Yes…even after all that had happened between Max and myself I still let him go off to live a different life in a different state…at a different college. Max’s scholastic career had started long before he had met me and despite the fact that it nearly killed me to do so…I had to let him go. However…don’t worry about us we manage to survive it…but truthfully the college years were tumultuous to say the least…but that is for another story.

The End…for now!!!