His Father's Son
By Karen

Rating: R
Disclaimer: I get nothing from this...at least not in the form of money
Summary: This picks up three months after the end of Nobody's Son. Nate tries to adjust to his new life, trying to keep what he knows a secret.
Author's Note: Thank you very much to all of you who supported the first fic! The banner is by the wonderful babylisou.

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Part One

She came to him in his dreams.

Or so he wanted to believe.  Several nights a week, an attractive blond girl entered Nate’s subconscious and he wanted to believe that she was indeed visiting him, that he wasn’t only conjuring her up as part of a fantasy.  Of course, some nights his dreams were a little more carnal than others, and he owned up to the fact that those might indeed be spawned from his imagination.  Not only were those dreams more sexual, but they also held a maddening lack of detail – he could kiss her, but he couldn’t taste her.  He could touch her, but he couldn’t feel her.  And though she’d shed her clothing, he could never discern any intimate details of her body – it was as though he was looking at her through a camera’s smoke filter.

The lack of the tangible in those dreams led Nate to believe that they were indeed of his own making.  But other nights, when she came to him in crisp clarity and he could almost smell her perfume when he awoke, he was certain she’d been there in some capacity.  Because, after all, Alyssa Guerin was not a normal girl.

It had been three months since Nate Spencer had returned home from Roswell , New Mexico .  Winter had fallen on western New York , freezing Lake Chautauqua , the cold winds blowing across Lake Erie and dumping inches of snow on the small tourist town.  This was the quiet time of year, when all of the tourists retreated to their permanent homes, when cottages were boarded up and Chautauqua became populate only by the natives.

While Nate had always enjoyed the change of seasons, the claustrophobia this winter brought was far from welcoming.  He’d done his best to act “normal”, but he was essentially canned up in the house or his father’s shop for hours at a time with nowhere to run.  If it was summer, at least he could go outside if he started to feel uncomfortable, if he started to feel like the charade was dissolving.

Because that’s what Nate had been doing for the last three months – playing charades with his parents.  Until recently, he had never kept anything from them; he’d never had a reason to lie.  But his trip to Roswell had changed that forever.  Nate, it seemed, was descended from alien/human hybrids, a fact that had nearly gotten him killed at the hands of the FBI.  The fewer people who knew the secret, the safer he’d be – and that included the Spencers.

Jonathan and Emma Spencer were simple people, living a country life – but they weren’t fools.  The change in Nate since he’d returned would be obvious to the blind.  Forever a quiet and reserved person, he had now slipped into nearly being mute.  He took to spending long hours in his bedroom, shut away from the world.  He wasn’t doing anything particularly secretive in there – he just wanted to be alone.  Heading Max’s advice, he took up running every morning, an act that totally baffled his parents, who had known him to be a rather lazy person when it came to fitness.  For all of the ordinary airs that Nate put on, there was another half dozen things he did that pointed to the fact that something was different.

The one thing that he couldn’t escape was the nightmares.  When sweet dreams of Alyssa Guerin eluded him, his nights were filled with the FBI, with paralyzing strokes induced by electrical devices implanted into his spine.  With Annie.

Nate had done what Max had suggested – he’d waited a month then told his parents that Annie O’Donnell had dumped him.  It hurt to lie to them, and it felt even worse to hope that the deception would also help explain his sullen mood of late – anyone who was experiencing relationship problems would be moody, wouldn’t they?  As Max had predicted, there was no obituary in the papers for Nate’s ex-fiance.  It was as though she’d fallen off the face of the earth.

The hardest part had been leaving her picture on his nightstand until the “break up” happened.  It was Nate’s penance, his punishment for having sent Annie running into that desert to meet her doom.  Every night before he went to bed, he had to look at her smiling face, the dots of freckles that decorated her nose, all the while knowing that her body had been disposed of in some manner he didn’t care to have details about.

Not that Annie was a saint.  Nate knew that.  He knew that her betrayal could have led to the deaths of many innocent people, beings who were just hoping to survive another day.  What bothered him, though, was that he never really got to hear her side of things.  At what age had her father – whom Nate also assumed to be dead – coerced her into working for the FBI?  Did she ever really have any feelings for him at all?  He was never going to know, and that in and of itself was devastating.

There were times when Nate wondered if he’d made a mistake by coming back east.  At home without anyone to really talk to, he’d felt that maybe he should have stayed in Roswell , or traveled to Boston to be with Max.  Of course, to have turned his back on his parents would have been to cut them to the core.  But he felt that being closer to Max would have put some of his insecurities to rest.  Sometimes Nate felt utterly alone.

And then she’d come to him out of the blue.  Sometimes it was an email, or a phone call, or those wonderful dreams that helped him to sleep through a restless night.  Her words were always comforting and friendly, never mentioning the pain she’d displayed when he’d left her standing in the middle of her mother’s living room with a gaping hole in her heart. 

As Nate logged on to check his email, he grinned as he discovered that cyberspace was her way of communicating this evening.  Full of anticipation, he clicked on her message and it popped up before him.  He was surprised to find that it was a picture of her in a scarlet red dress, her hair pulled atop her head and curled, an arrangement of white and red flowers strapped to her wrist.  Behind her, a very gawky teen stood awkwardly – he was wearing a dark suit and a stupid grin.  She’d gone to a dance – just like he’d told her to.

Below the picture was a one-sentence message – He thinks HE’S a king HA!

Nate’s eyes drifted back to the top of her head and he saw a small tiara embedded in her hair.  A slow grin curved his lips – she’d been crowned Christmas Queen or something like that and the guy in the picture (her date?) must have been crowned King.  Instead of jealousy, Nate felt a surge of pride and happiness…followed by a twinge of envy.  Not jealousy, envy.  He envied this goofy teenager who had his hands on Alyssa’s waist.  Then he realized that her message continued, so he scrolled farther down so he could see the rest of it.

I wish he was you.

Nate frowned slightly.  He wished that, too.

Once grief over Annie had started to dissipate, Nate found his thoughts – conscious and unconscious – slipping back to Alyssa more and more frequently.  And it was more than just thinking about her, it was aching for her.  Sometimes when he couldn’t get to sleep, he’d replay kissing her over and over in his head, trying to recall every little detail – how she’d tasted, the little sighs she’d given.  Every time his mother did laundry, the smell of fabric softener would propel him back in time, to that night when she’d spent her free time watching his clothes tumble in the dryer, when she’d first kissed him.  He could obsess about her for hours and he started to wonder if Max had been right about Alyssa’s feelings – she and Nate were meant for one another.

Reluctantly closing the email from Alyssa, he clicked on the next one which was from Liz Evans.  It was also a picture and it made him chuckle aloud.  Liz was now five months pregnant and the photo was of her holding her belly and looking bewildered.  The week before, it had been a picture of her shoeless, wearing a shirt that was too small and standing over the stove – barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.  Nate was finding that even though Liz was a professor at a haughty Ivy League school, she had quite a silly sense of humor.

Nate’s expression became pensive as he thought about the relationship he’d forged with Max’s wife.  Liz had no reason to be nice to him, not after what his mother had done, not after they’d all paid the price of his existence.  But she’d overlooked all of that, becoming a friend to him and never judging him based on his lineage.  He knew that some of that open-mindedness was due to the fact that Liz loved Max more than her next breath, but it had to be hard to be so kind to the evidence of Max’s prior relationship.  Nate commended her – she had never once shown anything but kindness toward him.

Scrolling past Liz’s picture, he read her short note.  Max had been away again and she hoped that he would be in Boston when the baby was born in a few months.  In his gut, Nate felt a stab of sympathy – it had to be difficult to know that Max could be pulled away at any moment, that she might end up giving birth to their first child without his presence.  Oh, Nate knew that Liz wouldn’t be alone – she’d probably be surrounded by more family than she could deal with – but he also knew that the only person Liz really wanted there was Max.  Nate hoped that Max could make it there – for both of their sakes.

Sitting back in his chair, Nate smiled easily.  He was going to be a brother!  True, this baby was going to be nineteen years younger than him and Nate was roughly the same age Max had been when he became a father, but he was excited about it all the same.  Nate didn’t have a large family – no siblings, a couple of cousins who were decades older than him – so he’d never had the pleasure of having a baby or a child around.  It was going to be a new experience and he couldn’t wait to be the big brother.

Biting his lip, he scrolled back up and looked at Liz’s picture again, wondered if it was a boy or girl.  There was obviously no way to tell, but Nate had to wonder if Max could tell simply by virtue of his powers.  Not that it mattered to Nate – he’d meant it when he’d said that he didn’t care what he got as far as a half-sibling.

Unable to avoid the temptation, Nate closed Liz’s email and re-opened Alyssa’s.  Like a lovesick puppy, his eyes glazed over and all he could do was stare at her picture.  She was perfection, pure and simple.  His eyes traveled over her face, each curve, and he remembered how soft her skin had been.  These days he ached for her so much that he regretted having told her to stay behind even though he’d known that it was for the best.  If she was here right now, he’d put his arms around her and never let go.

Images of Alyssa in his bedroom flooded Nate’s mind and he immediately blushed – some of the dreams he’d had of her had been raunchier than he’d ever imagined they could be.  He’d certainly never dreamed of Annie in such a manner.  Maybe it was because Alyssa seemed more liberal than Annie had been, regardless of her virgin status.  Maybe it was because Alyssa had been right about there being a connection between her Nate.  All he knew was that he often thought of doing things with her that Annie would have found absolutely disgusting – and it didn’t seem wrong to want to do them.

Glancing at the calendar pinned to his wall, Nate counted the days – 33 days until Alyssa turned seventeen; he would turn nineteen only a month later.  Agonizingly appropriate, she’d been born on Valentine’s Day.  Nate grinned, a ton of puns about that running through his head.  Tomorrow he’d go pick out a present to mail to her, something pretty and precious – just like she was.

Stretching, Nate looked out the window and realized it was already dark – nightfall came quickly this time of year.  Soon it would be dinner time and he knew that he had to put on a good front, put Nate the actor out there for his parents.  It seemed like such a struggle to just act normal these days.

Nate decided to go downstairs and sit in front of the fireplace with his father, who was no doubt down there finishing up the daily paper.  Since Nate had returned from Roswell , his little outings with Jonathan – fishing, boating, local hockey games – had just about screeched to a halt.  He knew that it was his fault, that his need to distance himself had also robbed him of the pleasure of his father’s company.  But tonight he felt like commiserating with the man, trying to have a normal, non-filtered conversation.

When he got about half way down the stairs, however, he realized that this night would be no different than those of the last three months.  He stopped in his footsteps and listened carefully.  He could hear his mother’s words, but only a mumble from his father.

“I’m just worried about him, Jon,” Emma said.  “He never used to be this withdrawn.”

Jonathan’s reply was short and indiscernible.

“I don’t know.  I just feel like he’s hiding something from us.”

Nate’s heart began to thump a little quicker.  Maybe he should just walk in like he’d heard nothing…

“He spends an awful lot of time in his room,” Emma continued.  “His friends don’t come over any more – I don’t think he even calls them.  I think something happened while he was away, something he doesn’t want us to know.”

Nate swallowed and Jonathan mumbled his reply.

“Yes, I know that,” Emma responded.  “But your son is a bad liar, Jon.”

At that, Nate had to brace himself against the wall of the stairwell, feeling like a trapped rabbit.  All of these months, he’d thought he was doing a good job of covering up but now he realized he hadn’t done a good job of anything.

“Well, I’m not going to sit around and watch him disappear before our very eyes,” Emma announced.  “If he won’t tell us, I know someone who will.  I’m calling Diane Evans in the morning.”

“Emmie, you can’t go behind his back like that,” Jonathan replied and Nate guessed he’d moved closer to the stairs since he could now hear him clearly.

“I don’t want to,” Emma confessed, tears in her voice.  “But I don’t know what else to do, Jon.  Can’t you see?  I’m afraid we’re losing him…and I just hope we haven’t already lost him.”

Part Two

“Calm down, Nate.  Just relax.”

Max’s voice was level and controlled as it came through Nate’s cell phone. 

Nate had driven down along the lake, to a secluded spot where he and Annie used to go to make out.  His new truck was better than his last, but not by much.  When he’d returned from Roswell , he’d given his parents the highly-believable excuse that the old truck had broken down and it would have cost more to tow it and repair it than it would have to just abandon it.  So, off to the junkyard with it…but Nate knew that it was really the property of the US government, that there were probably a half dozen scientists going over it with a fine-tooth comb to gather as much trace evidence from it that they could.

“She hasn’t called my mom,” Max informed his son.

“How can you be sure?” Nate asked, watching a squirrel scamper along one of the bare limbs of a nearby tree.

“Because my mom can’t keep a secret,” Max laughed.  “She would have called me by now.  Just slow down and take a couple of deep breaths.  Better?”

Nate frowned slightly, but for Max’s sake he gave a wary, “Yeah.”

“Good.  Now listen.  We knew this was going to happen, right?  What happened to you in New Mexico forever changed you.  There’s no avoiding that.  Your parents have known you all of your life – I had no doubt they were going to see the change in you.”

Nate’s brow furrowed.  “And yet you let me come home?”

“I didn’t let you do anything, Nate.  You chose your path – it’s not up to me to tell you what to do.  Besides, if you’d have never returned to New York , how would that have looked?  What would they think then?”

Nate sighed tiredly.  The Spencers would have been hurt at first – but then highly suspicious afterward.  Max was right – it would have been worse.  “What am I supposed to do?”

“You can start by not overreacting,” Max advised.  “You don’t need to act more nervous than you already are.  Go back to your house, stop avoiding them and try talking to them.”

“You mean tell them the truth?”  Nate’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line.  “I don’t mean that,” Max finally said.  “But someday, we’re going to have to make that decision.  Before you do, make sure you let me know first, okay?”

Nate snorted.  “Trust me, Max, I’m not letting the cat out of the bag again – not after what happened last time.”

Max’s voice dropped slightly, to a warmer, less-authoritative tone.  “You need to let yourself off the hook for that one.  It was a mistake.  We all make them.  At one point or another, we’ve all done something that could have been potentially disastrous.”

“Yeah, but people ended up dead because of what I did.”  Nate’s tone was sullen, apologetic.

A longer pause ensued this time.  When Max spoke, Nate heard a stab of remorse in his words.  “You’re assuming too many things, Nate.  Don’t be so sure that we haven’t already gone through what you went through.  We all make choices – and sometimes we all pay the consequences of them.”

Nate looked down at his boot, its toe wet from recently-melted snow.  Of course Max was right in that Nate didn’t know all there was to know – and Nate thought maybe there were things he’d be better off not knowing.

“You okay?” Max asked.

“Yeah,” Nate replied.  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Good.  You have my cell number if you need me.”

“Yeah.”

“Nate?”

“Huh?”

“Call me anytime, day or night.”

Nate gave a small smile.  “Thanks.”

“I’ve gotta go now – gotta call my girl.”  There was a smile in Max’s voice that immediately made Nate imagine his and Liz’s phone call, no doubt gushing and overflowing with tidings of love.

“All right.  Talk to you later.”  Nate clicked off his cell phone and stared at it for a moment.  Gotta call my girl.  Well, she wasn’t his girl yet – not officially – but that didn’t mean he couldn’t call her, did it?  Hoping she wasn’t at work, he quickly pushed a couple of buttons and Alyssa’s number was automatically dialed.

“Hello?” she said shortly, her voice as sweet as she was.

“Hi,” Nate said tentatively.  “It’s Nate.”

“Oh my God!  Hang on a moment.”

Nate’s brow furrowed as he imagined what she could be doing – running for an exit?  Putting out a fire?  Kicking King Christmas Dance out the door?

“Okay, I’m back,” she said breathlessly.

“Is everything…okay?” he asked cautiously.

“Yep, fine.”  She gave a silly giggle.  “As soon as I heard your voice my heart literally skipped, Nate!  It took my breath away!”

A grin spread across his face just knowing his voice could do that to her.

“You snuck up on me,” she accused light-heartedly.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still smiling.

“Don’t be.  It felt…amazing.”  She giggled again.  “So, what’s up?  Did you call just to put me into cardiac arrest?”

He laughed lightly, already feeling a little better.  “No, I was just out and about…and bored.  So I thought maybe you’d be home and want to talk for a bit.”

“Oh, my baby’s bored,” she cooed, then laughed.  “I wish I knew what that was like.”

Nate felt a stab in his gut.  She was too busy to be bored, too busy to miss him.

“You’re frowning,” she said.  “I can tell all of the way from here.”

He smiled, nabbed.  She already knew him so well.

“Well, get rid of that sour puss.  Just because I’m busy doesn’t mean I’m happy.”

His brow furrowed.  She was unhappy?  Alyssa unhappy was a thought that he just couldn’t live with.  “What’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong, not really.  I’m just tired of school and work and school and work.  It’s all I do.  Besides, Mom’s been back in the studio so she’s never home.  I’m here all alone – when I am home, that is.”

“Where’s your dad?” Nate asked.  Maybe out punching little kids on the playground?  Taking candy from babies, perhaps?

“Working.”  There was a pause, then, “Actually, he’s been with Uncle Max.  Wherever they are.  Averting another crisis.”  She sighed.

“I just talked to Max.”

“Really?”  She groaned.  “I miss Uncle Max, too.  What did he have to say?”

Nate picked at the steering wheel of the truck.  “I had to call him…because my parents are getting suspicious.”

“No way!  Why?”

He snorted.  It was so like Alyssa to be so worldly and so naïve at the same time.  “I guess I’ve changed a bit since I went away.”

“Oh.”  Pause.  “In what way?  Did you grow another head?”

Nate laughed.  “No, not like that.  I just…I just find it really hard to lie to them, Alyssa.  I’m sure they know that I’m acting weird.”

“Well…stop it.”

He blinked.  Stop it?  Like throwing a switch?

“You worry too much,” she decided.  “Jeez, you are your father’s son.  Max Junior, that’s what you are.”

Nate rubbed his brow.  “You make it sound so easy, Alyssa.”

“It is easy.”

“And you’ve been doing this your entire life,” he reminded.  “I’m new to this.”

“Well, take some advice from a pro – the harder you try, the more you fail.  Just act normal – but watch your words.”

He dropped his hand and looked out across the frozen lake.  Maybe she was right – maybe he was trying hard.  Why was it that Alyssa always had the ability to cut straight through the bullshit and simplify things to a manageable level?

“I’ve seen you in my dreams,” he said softly, the words coming out of his mouth as soon as he thought them.  Immediately, he paled – he was never going to be able to “watch his words” when things like that came tumbling out.

“What?” she laughed.

“You’ve been in my dreams,” he repeated, deciding he didn’t mind if she knew that.

“Have I?  And what kind of dreams were they, Nathan?” she asked, teasing.

All kinds was the correct answer, not that he felt like sharing that piece of information.  “Sweet dreams,” he said.  “Do you come to me?  Or am I imagining the whole thing?”

The silence on the other end of the line confirmed that sometimes she did indeed come to him.  Finally she answered, her voice small.  “Yes.”

Nate grinned.

“Are you mad?” she asked.  “Because if you are, I’ll stop.”

“I’m not mad,” he replied.  “I’m grateful.  You don’t have any idea of some of the dreams you’ve interrupted.”  He practically shivered, just thinking about the tortures he’d imagined, the pain that sometimes seemed all too real.

“Yes I do.”

He stopped, his mouth slowly dropping open in surprise.  So, the interruption of his nightmares was not a coincidence or something he’d imagined – Alyssa had been doing it all along.

“Sometimes I just watch,” she explained.  “I watch what’s going on in your head.  If it’s nice, then you never know I’m there.  If it’s bad, then I make it go away.”

Nate’s mind immediately shifted to some of his more risqué dreams and he blushed even though he was alone.  “Um, Alyssa, have you seen…um…”

“Sex?”

The blushing reached all of the way to his ears.  She was so blunt – nothing embarrassed her.  “Yeah,” he answered weakly.

“Yes,” she replied without disgust or indignation.

Nate covered his eyes.  “And when you’ve seen the sex dreams, um, do you…interact with them?”

“No,” she said simply.  “I wouldn’t know how.  Besides, I don’t want to have sex with you for the first time in a dream.  What fun would that be?”

Embarrassment had pretty much taken over Nate’s being at that point.  “I’m sorry,” he said, tossing his hand in the air.  “I know that some of the things I’ve dreamed are – “

“Interesting,” she finished.  “I’m not offended – I’m flattered.”

Nate smiled weakly, wanting to believe she really felt that way.

“You’re thinking I’m just saying that, aren’t you?  You’re too serious, Nate.  You’re going to have an ulcer by the time you’re twenty.”

He laughed lightly.

“Listen, I have to go,” she said in regret.  “I have a paper due tomorrow and all the powers in the world aren’t going to write it for me.”

“Okay,” he said.  “Um, thanks – for helping me out during the nightmares.”

“Happy to help,” she said, a smile in her voice.  “I’ve gotta go now – but maybe I’ll see you later.”

Nate grinned, knowing what that meant.  After saying goodbye, he turned off the phone and then looked into his lap.  While hearing his voice made Alyssa’s heart skip, hearing hers prompted an entirely different reaction from him.

Part Three

When Nate returned home from the lake, he found Emma sitting at the dining room table, writing out the week’s bills.  Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he loitered for awhile in the doorway, watching this woman who had raised him.  Just the night before, he’d heard a tone in her voice that he’d never heard before – it had practically screamed with desperation.  Desperation because of him.  He loved her – to him, she was his mother and always would be – and he hated to see her in such a state.  Now that he’d talked with Max, he more or less came to his own conclusion that Emma was never planning on calling Diane Evans to ask for information about his strange behavior – she was simply at a loss for what to do.

“Hey, Mom,” he finally said, moving cautiously toward the table.

Emma turned in her seat, her reading glasses near the end of her nose and gave him a big grin.  “Oh, hello, Nate,” she said.  “I didn’t see you standing there.”

“Sorry if I startled you,” he said, slipping into the chair adjacent to hers.

“No, that’s okay,” she replied, stacking the envelopes she’d written checks for.

“Do you need me to run those to the post office for you?” he offered, trying desperately to act normal.

She smiled gently at him.  “That would be great.”

“Need anything from town while I’m there?”

She thought for a moment.  “You could pick up some apples if you’d like me to make a pie for dessert tonight.”

He grinned, his mouth watering at the mere suggestion of one of Emma’s pies.  “Okay.”

They remained like that for a couple of minutes, mother and son simply looking at one another.  In her eyes, Nate saw a lot of love and a lot of confusion.  He hated what this was doing to her.  Reaching across the table, she brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“You need a haircut, Nathan,” she mused.

He gave her a one-sided smile and a nod of his head.  Rising from the table, he gave her a kiss on the cheek that seemed to startle her.  Then he picked up the stack of bills and went about his errands.

The first stop was the post office.  As he was dropping the letters into the slot, he looked at the Most Wanted board and was glad to see that Max Evans’s picture wasn’t posted there.  Then he kicked himself internally for being that paranoid.  After a quick stop at the market to get apples, he decided to placate his mother by stopping at the barber.  If little things like that made it easier for her, then it was the least he could do.

After he returned home, Nate went upstairs to check his email.  Even though he’d just talked to Alyssa on the phone a few hours before, he hoped to find a message from her.  When he didn’t see one, he frowned slightly and sighed in mild disappointment.  But she had a paper to write and he knew that she needed to put her homework before stroking his ego – or anything else of his for that matter.

Nate’s blue eyes drifted over the sidebar and he saw that MightyMouse was on line – Liz Evans.  He looked at her name for a long time, wondering how Liz had dealt with the whole alien conspiracy when she’d first found out.  After all, she wasn’t born with the knowledge like Max and Alyssa had been – she’d had it dumped on her just like Nate had.  So, what had she done?

Reaching for the mouse, Nate clicked on her name and an instant message window opened.  Hi Liz, he typed.

In a few moments, her reply sprang onto the screen.  Hey, BoyWonder, what are you doing?

Nate grinned – Liz had given him his screen name out of the blue about a month ago.  Saw your name, wanted to see if you wanted to talk.  How are you feeling?

Ugh.  My feet are swollen up now.  I walk like a penguin.  The little one wants to kick me in the bladder – but only from midnight until five AM .

Nate gave a small laugh.  Still haven’t found out what it is?

Nope.  But I’m thinking at this point that it has at least one extra arm…and an extra foot.  Nothing with only two of each could hit so many places at once.

He supposed that if it weren’t for his existence, the others might worry about what they were about to spawn.  But he’d come out normal.  And Alyssa had been constructed perfectly, at least in Nate’s opinion.  It was a small comfort to know that at least Liz wouldn’t have to worry about the genetic profile of her baby.

Can I ask you something? he typed.

Of course you can.  Tell Dr. Liz all your problems. ;)

Nate grinned.  The irony was that Liz really was a doctor – not medical, but she’d received her doctorate degree somewhere along the way.  Do your parents know?

There was a brief pause, then she replied, Yes, they know I’m knocked up.

He couldn’t risk being too explicit and neither could she.  This was her way of saying that she wasn’t sure what he was talking about.  Not that, he responded.  Do they know about me?

Yes, they know that Max has a son from a prior relationship.

Nate grimaced.  She wasn’t getting it – he needed a way of asking so that she would understand but no one else would.  Do they know where I was born?

A longer pause ensued this time and when her reply came it was short.  No.

Nate’s eyes fixed on that tiny word.  No.  Liz Parker had been lying to her parents for two decades, and had apparently been getting away with it unnoticed.  Either she was very good or she had some special gift that he didn’t.

I’m struggling with that, he finally typed.  How do you cope?

He waited patiently during a long silence.  He got the feeling that she was typing more than a one-word, one-syllable response this time, however.  When the computer finally chimed, he found that he was right.

They know what they need to know.  Max works for the oceanographic institute as an environmentalist.  Because of that, he’s away a lot.  That’s reasonable and they accept it.  In the beginning, it wasn’t so easy.  I slipped up a lot, I acted strangely.  I think they assumed it was normal teenage rebellion/out-of-whack hormones or something.  Then I realized that I didn’t have anything to hide.  It wasn’t MY secret – to bear or to tell.  As soon as I let go of that, then I could act like a normal person again.  I had been acting suspicious for no reason.

Nate sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes fixed on her words.  There was a difference here – it wasn’t Liz’s secret, but it was definitely his.  Her advice on this matter wasn’t going to carry much weight…except for one thing.

Did you ever think about telling them? he asked.

After a short pause, her reply returned to the screen.  I’ve thought about it, but I’ve never had a reason to.  They’ve never been in danger.  Max and I live far away, so we don’t need to cover ourselves all of the time.

Unlike Nate, who lived right under his parents’ noses.

Liz seemed to get that immediately.  Sweetie, she typed.  I know this is hard.  I didn’t like it either when I had to do it.  Did you ever consider putting some distance between you and them?

Nate recoiled.  He couldn’t just up and leave his parents – it would hurt them so much.  How? he asked.  I can’t just pick up and move to Europe or something.

LOL Not that much distance!  Then you’d be too far from us as well ;)  I meant, maybe you need your own place, your own space.  You’re going to be 19 soon – you’re old enough to be on your own.  What about going away to college?

Nate frowned.  I’m not sure I have enough money for that.

Then how about getting an apartment?

He worked his mouth, bit his bottom lip.  How about that?  Would it hurt his parents terribly if he said he wanted to live on his own?  Would they become old and depressed if their nest was empty?  Of course, he’d still see them every day, what with working at the store and all, but maybe Liz had a point.  Maybe if he were to get his own place, he wouldn’t be so self-conscious about phone calls he received from a girl in New Mexico , or nervous that he’d leave his PC logged in and one of his parents would see a note from Max or Liz.  Maybe she was right…

Listen, kiddo, this critter within has just sucker punched my bladder once again and I’m going to need to use the bathroom soon.

Nate smirked.  One last question?

As long as it’s a short one.

What can I get Alyssa for her birthday?

No money for school and yet enough money for her, eh?

Nate’s ears turned red with embarrassment – Liz could read him like a book.  Well, yeah…

How much money do you want to spend?

Money is no object.

Well then.  She likes emeralds...and sports cars.

Nate laughed.  She already has a sports car.

Then I guess it’s emeralds.  Oh, shit.  Gotta go – literally!

MightyMouse disappeared immediately from Nate’s contact list and he gave a little grin.  Poor Liz – at the mercy of a houseguest that kept kicking her bladder.  He’d never been around many pregnant people, so he wondered what it was like to go through that day after day.  She seemed in good spirits, but was she always that way?

Clicking off his PC, he stretched out on his stomach on his bed as the wonderful smell of baking apples drifted up the stairs.  He liked being here, in this tiny little bungalow home with his attic bedroom.  He liked smelling his mother’s home cooking every night – and eating it as well.  Nate pretty much couldn’t cook – if he moved out, it was going to be take-out or macaroni and cheese every night.  Since he was pretty much a pauper, even the take-out wasn’t looking too promising.

Flipping onto his back, he looked up at the unfinished ceiling, the ancient rafters of the place.  He’d had this bedroom as long as he could remember.  Memories of holidays past came to his mind – waking up to the aroma of a turkey roasting in the oven on Thanksgiving morning, creeping down the stairs one Christmas Eve to see if Santa had arrived yet then hearing a “Ho Ho Ho” from somewhere outside and scampering back up the steps before St. Nick spotted him.  There were so many wonderful memories in this place.

Nate knew he couldn’t stay forever.  He’d known that eventually he and Annie would get married and they’d get their own home and have a bunch of children, so moving out wasn’t entirely the issue.

Annie was now gone.  The future Nate had planned for them was gone.  The only permanent thing he had left was this place, his parents.  In all of the turmoil that had surrounded him of late, he found comfort and security in his home.

And now he was afraid he was going to have to leave it behind.

Part Four

The bell above the door of the tiny shop jingled merrily as Nate stepped inside, the smell of old varnish and a warm fireplace greeting him.  Kicking the snow from his boots, he couldn’t help but smile – he’d always loved this little store, loved the little old man who ran it.

Shortly, the gentleman appeared, his steps short and shuffled, but a huge smile on his time-wrinkled face.  “Mr. Spencer,” he said in a raspy, slow voice, extending a hand in Nate’s direction.

Nate grinned in return and took the shopkeeper’s hand in greeting.  “Hello, Mr. Wallace.”

The man waved a hand.  “Life’s too short for formalities,” he said in spite of his prior greeting to Nate.  “Call me Joe.”

“As long as you call me Nate,” he conceded.

Joe shrugged.  “Sure, why not.  So good to see you.”

“And you as well.  How is Mrs. Wallace?”  Formalities aside for present company, Nate knew that Joe preferred that his wife was paid more respect than everyone else.

“You know,” he answered, shuffling around behind the glass jewelry case.  “Bursitis in her shoulder, a bought with the flu this year.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Eh, she lived.  What can I do for you today?”

Nate smiled widely.  “Emeralds.”

The old man’s gray eyebrows shot up quickly.  “Emeralds, is it?  A Valentine’s Day present perhaps?”

Nate knew what he was asking – by now all of Jonathan’s acquaintances had been informed that the engagement of Nate and Annie O’Donnell was kaput.  Joe wanted to know if there had been a miracle reunion…and it would indeed take a miracle for them to reunite.  Joe had been the one to sell Nate Annie’s engagement ring.

“A birthday present,” Nate clarified.

The old man gave a little chuckle.  “Got a girlfriend, do ya?”

Nate could feel his cheeks start to flush.  “A friend.”

Joe nodded his head but he was still smirking, years of experience telling him that Nate was lying like a rug.  “Okay, what kind of emerald for your friend?”  He pointed with a shaking hand to the other side of the store.  “They’re over there.”

Crossing the room took all of two steps, but Nate beat Joe there by a good fifteen seconds.  Beneath the glass lay a sea of emeralds, all of them sparkling in the lights.  There were rings and bracelets and necklaces.  Nate was drawn to the rings first, but he didn’t know her size.  Of course, she could have it resized, but why burden her with the leg work?  The bracelets were beautiful – but the price tags on them made his hair stand up.

“How much in the bank account?” Joe joked playfully.

“Enough for a necklace,” Nate decided, stooping at the waist so he could take a closer look.

Joe reached behind the case and unlocked the back of it, slid a panel aside and put the tray of necklaces on the top of the case.  Outside of their glass cocoon, the jewels were even more beautiful.  Nate’s eyes immediately fell on one that had a stone so dark it looked almost blue.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Joe asked, his eyes creasing at the corners with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” Nate said, reaching for it.  “May I?”

“Of course.”

Nate picked it up and held it by its delicate gold chain.  It was an emerald cut, with a tiny rim of diamonds around it; it was pretty without being flashy.  This was the one he had to have, there was no point in looking any farther.  Then he turned over the price tag and nearly hit the floor.  Frowning with disappointment, he gently laid the necklace back onto the tray.

Nate glanced over the others, but none of them seemed to compare to the one he’d picked up.  Joe waited patiently, leaning his old bones on the counter.  Finally Nate straightened and shook his head.

“Maybe emeralds aren’t the way to go,” he announced, trying to hide his disappointment.

“No?” Joe asked.  He glanced at the necklace Nate had picked up.  “I thought you liked that one.”

Nate looked at it for a long moment, then shook his head.  “Yeah, it’s pretty, but I just don’t know…”

Joe’s eyes twinkled with mischief.  “Not that much in the bank account?”

Nate looked up sheepishly and shook his head.

Joe’s brow furrowed as he picked up his reading glasses and perched them on the end of his nose and then inspected the tag on the necklace.  “Well, that can’t be right…”

Nate watched him curiously as he clucked and retrieved a pencil.  Joe erased furiously, then scribbled on the tag, turned it around so Nate could see it.

“That was supposed to be a four,” he explained.

Nate withdrew slightly.  “Oh, Joe, I can’t possibly –“

“You mean you don’t even have that much?” the old man interrupted.

“No, that’s not what I meant.  I meant that I can’t accept –“

“The correct price for this?”

Nate stopped entirely.  Perhaps there was no arguing with the man.  Perhaps letting Joe do this one nice thing for him – for Alyssa – was something the old man wanted to do and maybe Nate should just let him do it.

Joe winked.  “How about I find a pretty box for this?”

Nate conceded, nodding his thanks, and waited patiently while the man took almost an hour to find an appropriate box and ring up the sale.

Driving home with his prize tucked neatly into his jacket pocket, Nate couldn’t keep thoughts of Alyssa out of his head.  He’s just bought her a beautiful gift and he couldn’t wait to give it to her.  Of course, he had to keep it a secret until he mailed it for her birthday, but he was practically bursting with the excitement.

As soon as he got home, he raced upstairs, flopped onto his bed and dialed her number.  When she heard his cheerful tone, she laughed lightly.

“What are you so happy about?” she asked.

“Nothing really,” he lied.  “I’m just in a really good mood today.”

“That’s good, Nate,” she laughed again.  “I’m in a good mood too.”

“What are you doing?  Tell me what you’re doing right now.”  He wanted to hear every detail of what she was doing, even if it was just picking her teeth.

“I wasn’t doing much, but now that I’ve got that voice of yours in my ear, I was thinking about touching myself.”

“What did you say?” he half-gasped, sure he hadn’t heard correctly.

“Do you ever touch yourself?”

Nate’s eyes were wide.  The mere fact that she was bold enough to ask that question made him stir, the room in his jeans suddenly becoming a little claustrophobic.

“Do you, Nate?”  Her words were soft.

His whole body suddenly felt alive, a quiver starting in his abdomen.  “Well, yeah,” he answered, his voice barely audible.

“And when you touch yourself,” she said, her voice but a whisper traveling a thousand miles, “do you ever think of me?”

Nate swallowed hard; it was a little harder to breathe all of a sudden.  He couldn’t believe the turn this conversation was taking.

“Do you wonder what it’s like to be with me?” she asked.

He looked at the phone, wondering just what she was doing on the other end, then nodded his head.  There was no point in lying to her – the girl had seen all of his naughty dreams for Heaven’s sake.  “Yes.”

“When I touch myself,” she said, her lips close to the receiver, “I think about what it would be like to be with you.”

Nate thought he heard a little groan – with a tug of agony he realized that she decided to touch herself after all.

“I never did that before,” Alyssa continued.  “When I touched myself before, it was just because it felt good.  But now…no, now I only do it when I think of you.”

Nate drew his lips into his mouth, biting down hard to quell the sudden need that was racing through his body.  She was such an enigma sometimes.  Didn’t she say she was a virgin?

“I know what you’re thinking,” she sighed into the phone.  “You’re thinking I lied about being a virgin.”

His eyebrows rose quickly – damn that she knew him so well already!

“You don’t have to lose your virginity to do this,” she said.  “I am a virgin, but I know how to pleasure myself.  My friend Jeannie showed me…”  On the other end of the line, there was a gasp, a sharp in-take of breath.

Nate closed his eyes, just listening to the sound of her voice, wishing she was lying beside him, her lips against his ear.  Wait – her friend Jeannie showed her how to reach orgasm?  The very thought of that made him whimper.

“Touch yourself, Nate,” she whispered into the phone.  “We don’t have to tell anyone.  Just you and me, apart but still together.  Do this with me.”

Oh, God.  She really was touching herself.  In Nate’s mind, he tried to picture what she looked like at this moment.  Was she clothed or naked?  Since Nate had never seen her naked, he decided to imagine her clothed, her agile hands exploring beneath the fabric.  He saw her face, her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed with desire, her full lips parted as she moaned.

He couldn’t take it any longer.  His breathing started to match her ragged breaths on the other end of the line.

“Do it,” she whispered, her words a seductive hiss in his ear.

Nate’s hand slid downward, over his tense stomach muscles, to the tab of his zipper.  He wanted this, to share this intimacy with her more than anything.

“Are you doing it?” she asked in a moan.

“Yes,” he answered, his throat dry.  He started to ease his zipper down, the discomfort in his jeans lessening with each inch it dropped. 

Alyssa gave a hiccupping sound on the other end.  “Hurry,” she said.

Nate jerked his zipper the rest of the way down –

And his call-waiting beeped.

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted and he could almost feel Alyssa cringe on the other end – Nate never swore.  “I’m sorry,” he said, his head clearing and his voice dropping to a normal decibel.  “Hang on a second.”  Cursing under his breath, he hit the button that would pick up the other line.  “Hello?” he barked in exasperation.

“Um, Nate?” came Max’s voice after a startled pause.

Nate wiped his hand over his face and blew out a breath.  “Sorry, Max.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine.  Hang on a second.  I have someone on the other line.”  Flipping back over to Alyssa, Nate felt a wave of disappointment wash over him.  “Alyssa?”

“Yeah?” she said, the sound of sex gone from her voice.

“It’s Max.  I have to go.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she replied and Nate could imagine her shrugging nonchalantly.  Just like that – the sex kitten had gone back into her cage.

“No, I’m really sorry,” he said, his cheeks turning red.