Finding Yourself

Author: Cookieman aka Stacey
Email: Cookieman123@go.com
Category: M/L , but strong friendship themes with others
Rating: PG 13 to NC 17, but you will be warned before those post
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a computer, some college debts and a vivid imagination
Author’s Note: This takes place after “Departure”. I know, I know, another Departure fic, right? Well, give me a try. The first few parts are trying to wrap up the mess left to us, so it might take me a few parts to get into it. In case you don’t know yet, feedback makes me post far quicker…

Finding Yourself
Part 1

The sky was clear, bringing forth the kind of night sky that you could stare at for hours and lose yourself in. And Liz Parker had been doing just that. She had been sitting in her lounge chair staring at the stars for so long they had all seemed to run together. Her journal lay open before her, the pages blank. It had been months now and she still couldn’t bring herself to write a single word. It had bothered her at first, but now she had come to accept it. Her heart was simply empty. She had nothing left to write. Gone were her hopes and dreams, her visions of the future. She had seen the future already, and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Liz sighed as she closed her journal. Her parents were worried about her and she found that it was becoming too tiring to pretend things were still okay. Alex was dead. Tess was pregnant with Max’s child and their days were now spent looking for the serpent they had allowed into their circle. Sure, none of them had actually trusted her, but they hadn’t expected her not to murder and betray them. Maybe they had given her too much credit.

Don’t trust anyone, had been their motto long before Max had trusted Liz with their secret. They should have stuck with that. At least then Alex might still be alive. They would still be the three amigos. She and Maria and Alex would still be able to get together every Thursday night and laugh. Max Evans would just be someone she had Biology with. And destiny would just be a work in a book. If only Max had lied to her when she had asked him what he was.

As the familiar what-ifs ran through her head, Liz let herself sink into the now familiar depths of depression. Classes were starting up tomorrow. Summer was over. It was her senior year, the supposed best time of her life.

After Tess had left with the Granolith, they had spent the entire summer searching for her, searching for any clue that would tell them what had happened or where to find them. Maria had actually turned out to be a computer genius, much to everyone’s surprise. She had decrypted the remainder of Alex’s files and had even hacked her way into some information that had been useful.

Through that information and the top-secret documents Brody had gotten his hands on, they had discovered the fate of the Granolith. It had not achieved orbit. They could only assume that it had malfunctioned along the way and it had crashed back to Earth. But the big question was where had it crashed? They knew of at least four countries looking for it, having picked it up on their radars, but none had been able to pinpoint its’ exact location.

The group consensus had been that there must have been some sort of cloak or force field around it that was hiding it from view. Maria had found a passage in the decodings that spoke of a cryogenic sleep occupants were put into. After months of discussions and research, they had finally been able to determine why the Granolith had crashed. It wasn’t a machine built to travel long distances.

After exhaustive searches and more decoding, they had unearthed it’s true purpose. The Granolith had been described as a powerful machine, a weapon with cataclysmic capabilities. Legend had it that it had been created by an elite group of entities, beings of pure energy that created it for peaceful purposes. But the ruling forces of the planet each thought they should own it, and a war was begun. Distraught over the possibility of it being used in war, they stole the Granolith away in the middle of the night. They locked it’s power tight, prophesizing that in the last remaining days of the dying moon, a child of Royal blood would be conceived that would possess the knowledge to awaken the Granolith’s true powers, that worlds would fall under their rule and the power of the universe would be in their hands.

Zan and Vilandra’s mother had belonged to a race of people that were guardians of the Granolith. They had hoped that Zan’s first born would have been the prophesized child, but they had been murdered before there had ever been a chance. So, the Queen had sent the Granolith with them, hoping it would be safe from Khivar. It had been modified for some flight in emergency situations over the years, but not for a journey such as the one Tess had undertaken.

Suddenly, there had been an even greater rush to find Tess. If Khivar were to get a hold of Max’s son and the Granolith, they wouldn’t have a home to return to. And through it all, Liz had helped. She had been there to research and hypothesize. She had lied and broken more laws and rushed alongside them to find Tess, to find the child she had created with Max. And Liz had died inside a bit more every time. She still hadn’t told him about her visit from future Max. The guilt over Alex’s death was hers alone to shoulder.

And then there was her relationship with Max, if you could even call it that anymore. They had talked once seriously. Max had explained that he knew she had secrets, things she wasn’t telling him and he respected that. He had treated her horribly and he would have to earn back her trust, her confidence. But every minute since then, he had been obsessed with finding the Granolith. But Liz could see the torn look in his eyes. He knew he was hurting her, but he was powerless to stop it. It wasn’t too long before Liz just stopped looking. They were both doing what had to be done. So, they were friends now. But could they ever be more? She would always be in his way, a distraction from his cause. And just because Tess didn’t turn out to be his destiny, it didn’t mean that she was it now.

A soft scuffling sound in the alleyway caught her attention but she couldn’t bring herself to do more than glance at the stair railing. Friend or foe, it didn’t matter anymore.

A head of light, curly hair appeared and she recognized it immediately. A minute later, Sean Deluca hopped onto her roof. He sent her a sly grin when he saw her sitting there.

“Hey, Parker. I guess I don’t have to worry about waking you up.”

All Liz could manage was a half smile, but her heart wasn’t in it and he knew it. She said nothing, knowing he had come for a reason.

Sean stuck his hands in his pocket. What had he been thinking coming over here like this? Oh yeah, he’d been thinking of Liz Parker’s face. He moved to sit in the chair beside her and watched her in the moonlight. She was grace and beauty all rolled up into a neat package. And she wasn’t his, never would be.

“Uh, so look, I sort of had something I needed to tell you.” He paused, hoping she would have some sort of response, sighing when there was none. “I’m leaving Roswell. And I want you to come with me.”

Finding Yourself
Part 2

Liz’s usually stoic face crumbled. “Leaving? What do you mean? Why?”

“I don’t know where and as to why…why not? There’s really not much in this town, no excitement, no intrigue. Don’t you ever dream about going somewhere new and exciting? About traveling to places you’ve only read about?”

Liz smiled now, a trace of sadness in her eyes. “Yeah, once.” That was before everything had come crashing down, before Alex had died and Max had slept with Tess.

Sean was excited. “See? I knew you did. Come with me. It’ll be fun, just you and me on the open road, never stopping until we’ve seen and done everything to be seen and done.”

Liz shook her head. “Sean, you can’t just skip out of town. What about all the trouble you’d be in?”

“I turned 21 a few days ago. I’m free to go.” He spoke gently, not wanting her to know his sadness at being forgotten.

The familiar twinges of guilt settled themselves over Liz’s heart. She hadn’t known, hadn’t even talked to Sean since the last time she’d needed something. She’d used him and tossed him aside and he didn’t care. He wanted to take her away from here, away from all the memories, the grief and the endless searching for Tess. But how could she? How could she leave Max? Or Maria? “I’m sorry, Sean, but I can’t. I’m starting my senior year tomorrow. I have school and a job and family and-“

“Max.”

Liz nodded sadly. “Yeah.”

“I understand you saying no, I do. Really, I expected it. But you’re wrong to stay for him.”

“Sean, you don’t really understand the whole situation.”

“Maybe not, but do you know what I do see? He doesn’t appreciate you. You knock yourself out for him and he pushed you aside until he needs you. What would he do, Liz if it came down to a choice between you and that blonde he’s been hanging around? Would he leave you for her? Does he even know how much pain you’re in? How long has it been since he looked into your eyes and really saw what was there? I know you still miss Alex and I also know there’s more than you’re telling me, but you deserve so much better than that. If he can’t give that to you, let him go. But if he can give you your smile back, then stay here.”

Liz closed her eyes as tears threatened to overflow. How was it that Sean was the only one to know she was dying inside? Max used to be able to see into her soul and fix things before she ever knew they were wrong. Now, he glazed over her emotions if it didn’t help with his search.

She’d tried to tell Maria once a month ago that she wanted to leave, that she needed to. But Maria had clung to her, begging her not to go. She had just lost Alex, how could she lose Liz too? So, she had stayed, pushing back the depression that threatened to engulf her until she could no longer do it. What did anything matter anymore?

“I don’t know what I want anymore. But I know I have to stay. I’m needed here.”

“They need you here, but what about what you need? Has anyone asked you that lately? I’m not saying you have to leave with me, but for gods sake, Liz, leave. Don’t let them kill you. I remember the little girl with such spark, such life. You knew what you wanted and you went after it. Don’t settle.”

“You should go.” His words were making her feel things she didn’t want.

“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Liz Parker. Don’t let them break you. Be selfish for once. Find the person you wanted to be, the person Alex wanted you to be, and do whatever it takes to get there.” He looked at her one last time, knowing he would burn this last image of her into his memory. He could have loved this girl. Now, it would be a regret, a what-if. He turned to head for the stairs when he felt a hand on his arm.

Liz was out of her chair as fast as she could scramble. She couldn’t let him go like that. She threw herself into his arms and took a moment of comfort. “I’m going to miss you.” And she would. He had been a friend when she had desperately needed one most. “I love you, Sean, but-“

“Not that way. Yeah, I got it.” He tossed her a lopsided grin. “Take care of yourself, Parker. Find your smile, it can be beautiful. And if you ever need a traveling buddy…” He let the offer hand. Then he was slipping out of her arms and down the stairs without a second glance.

Liz stood alone, wrapping her arms around herself as a sudden chill hit her body. She knew sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight.

Finding Yourself
Part 3

The first day back at Roswell High was just like every other first day. The group met in front of the school and walked in together, but there was none of the cheerful banter that usually followed them. They all had lockers on the same hall and they broke up to settle down for the day.

Liz turned out to have her first three classes with at least one of the pod squad, but no Max yet. With only one more class to go before lunch, Liz checked her schedule. AP Biology. Great, surely, Max wouldn’t be in there.

As she swung open the door, her eyes locked with Max’s. He gestured wildly toward her, as if he’d been waiting for her appearance. At one time, her heart would have beaten wildly, but now she merely trudged over to the station he had chosen in the back, far right corner. She could only imagine that the solitude appealed to him. There weren’t any lab stations remotely close. It was just them and a plant.

“Good, you’re here. Listen, I’ve been thinking about that crash sighting in Albuquerque, and I think we were too hasty to write it off as a potential site for the Granolith. If we leave now, we could probably make it there by sunset. They’re be less people to see us looking after dark.”

So that was it? Not, how has your day been, or what do you think the new teacher will be like? This was her life now. Just Tess. Her heart cracked a little more. But Max was still talking.

“So, I was telling Michael that we should meet under the bleachers at lunch from now on. It’s more private and we can make plans more freely there than the Quad. What do you think?”

Liz was saved from having to answer as the new teacher walked in and introduced herself.

“We’ll talk at lunch.”

But Liz said nothing, only pulled out her pen and notebook and began studiously taking notes. Anything to fill her brain with something other than the search for the Granolith.


Liz rode quietly in the front passenger seat of the Jeep as it bounced along the desolate Albuquerque road. The group had in fact agreed with Max’s reasoning and they had left immediately. Isabel and Kyle were in the backseat and Michael and Maria were in the Jetta. The trip had been marked by the same silence they lived with now.

Max was in his own world, no doubt planning out his strategy. Liz had watched him for part of the trip, just wanting to see an emotion flicker across his face. But there had been none. He hadn’t even known she was watching him. She thought back to a time when he would have turned to catch her watching him and she would have blushed. They would have shared a private smile and held hands for the remainder of the journey.

But those days were gone. Even Isabel and Kyle had felt the tension. They had been forced to spend unusual amounts of time together over the summer, both having lost someone they cared about. Truth be told, Isabel had found a good friend in Kyle Valenti, a surprising confidant. They may have been thrown together by horrible circumstances, but they had made the best of it.

Personally, Kyle thought Max was borderline crazy these days. This late night trip marked the fifth time this month Max had dragged them off in the middle of the night to hunt down the Granolith. One night it had been because he had dreamed of a mountain, and they had driven all night to the nearest mountain range to check it out. Another time, he had seen a billboard and another time, something had seemed familiar to him in the picture. So, they had picked up and driven across three state boarders. And each time they failed to find answers, Max dug himself deeper into the world he now lived in. Kyle guessed he understood as well as anyone Max’s single-minded determination. But frankly, none of them really did.

The thing that had surprised them most of all was that not even Liz’s presence seemed to calm Max. They had all expected the couple to forgive and forget and return to their old mushiness. They were Max and Liz, super-couple extraordinaire. Nothing could ever break them apart. Hadn’t they always said that? But if possible, they seemed to have grown even further apart. They all had noticed it, but were afraid to acknowledge what it meant.

Now, Max pulled the Jeep to the side of the road and the Jetta followed. Max climbed out, grabbing a flashlight from under his seat. Without a backward glance, he trudged off alone into the darkness.

Isabel and Kyle exchanged glances. “I guess we follow.”

Maria and Michael appeared at their side. “Anybody got a spare flashlight?”

Liz sighed and pulled three flashlights from her backpack. After all the times they’d run off in the middle of the night, you’d think they would be better prepared.

The group searched high and low across the wide expanse of desert, looking for anything that might indicate that the Granolith had indeed crashed there, a piece of otherworldly metal, chemical spills, glowing rocks, a sign with an arrow pointing out the location of the Granolith. Hell, they would take anything they could find. The hours rolled into each other, but no one complained. They had done this too many times before.

Liz stood from her hunched over position and rolled out her shoulders. A quick glance at her watch told her she hadn’t slept in almost 48 hours, yet she wasn’t tired. Idly, she wondered when was the last time she had eaten. But she supposed that didn’t matter much either. She glanced back at the various groups, hoping they were having more luck than she was. Michael and Maria looked to be more talking than searching, but it had been almost six hours since they had arrived. Kyle and Isabel were still waving their flashlight around, hoping to catch a glint in its’ beam.

And then there was Max. Her heart broke just watching him. He was practically crawling on the desert sand, desperately looking for some sliver of hope. How many more times could he do this? Each time they searched only to find nothing, he became a bit more defeated, pushing her a bit further away. How many more times could she let him?

She hated to admit it, but there might have been a grain of truth in what Sean had said the night before. Why was she here really? Nobody needed her. They hadn’t in a long time. Max had stopped looking for her real opinion months ago. He only wanted her to agree with him.

But as she watched him dig around for any trace of a crash, she wondered if what he needed wasn’t freedom. They dragged her around to every meeting and hunt, and each time Max had to bring up that night and it’s consequences, his eyes would meet hers and raw pain was reflected. They were only hurting each other. Maybe it would be best if she did just leave, skip town and get away from all the heartache, the loneliness, the pain. Maybe she needed a clean start, a chance to find out who she was. And so did Max.

She looked up and saw that the group was heading back towards the cars. She picked her way over rocks and briars carefully. They were already engrossed in a conversation by the time she got back.

“-so, I say we find a motel somewhere and crash for the night. I guess I was wrong. Nothing’s here.” Max lowered his hooded eyes.

Liz looked away, not able to stand the pain in them any longer.

“Max, I really think we should drive back tonight. We do have school tomorrow, and we could just take shifts driving back.” Isabel had managed over the last few months to find a soothing tone of voice that was the only thing Max actually heard.

“Yeah, if you think so.” Defeated, Max swung himself back into the Jeep, his eyes staring straight ahead looking one last time for any sort of sign. When the others had climbed back in as well, he slammed the Jeep into gear and accelerated onto the highway. He only looked straight ahead now. Somewhere out there, the Granolith stood waiting, and he would do whatever it took to find it.

Finding Yourself
Part 4

Back in Roswell, their first six weeks of school had passed by quickly. Between class, working, and hunting for the Granolith, Liz barely had any time to sleep. Tonight was no exception. She had worked a full shift after school, struggled to read for her American Literature book, then had given up and gotten dressed. Max had cornered her at lunch today and asked if they could get together that night. He had said it was important. Despite the nagging voice of warning in her head, her heart had been a bit lighter all day. Maybe things were turning around for the better.

She had changed clothes five times already, discarding outfits that didn’t fit her anymore. Sometime this summer, she had lost weight, and most of her old clothes hung off her body now. She rummaged through her closet until she pulled out a light blue T-shirt dress. She turned and twisted in the mirror to take a better look at herself. It didn’t look too bad.

She had actually been excited as she combed out her hair, thinking of all the things Max could want to talk to her about. He had had an excited gleam in his eyes and her heart leapt a little just thinking about it. She had missed him so much. Where were they going? It didn’t even matter. Nothing mattered but today. He had remembered. After all the things he had gone through, he remembered today.

She pulled out her makeup bag, dusty from misuse and set about concealing the dark circles under her eyes. She wanted everything to be perfect.

She checked her clock. Max should be here any minute. She hastily searched for her pearl drop earrings her grandmother had given her. A soft rapping on her window made her twirl around. Max stood there, waiting.

Liz smiled, the first smile she had felt in months now. She crossed to the window and opened it. Max hopped inside, a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt clothing him. Liz wondered if perhaps she had overdressed, but didn’t care.

“Good, I’m glad you’re ready. We’re running late.”

Liz grabbed her sweater and when she turned back, Max was already out her window and on his way down the ladder. She pushed away the quick stab of pain in her heart. Oh well, Max would have to ease back into being the romantic boyfriend he once was. She would give him time.

She climbed out her window and down the fire escape to find Max waiting in the running Jeep. She climbed in with him, expecting some sort of smile, or kiss from him. Something. But he merely put the Jeep into gear and swung it around into the street.

Liz tried to push back the feeling that something was off. Max was just trying to surprise her. That was all. She trusted him. He would do something wonderful. Tonight was their night after all.

Max sped through the dark streets, and Liz again wondered where they were going. A minute later, he pulled into Michael’s parking lot. Liz frowned. They were coming here for their anniversary? Then her smile returned. He had probably spruced up the apartment so they could have some alone time.

Max climbed out of the Jeep and went immediately to Michael’s door. Liz scrambled behind him to keep up. Why was Max knocking on the door? Was everyone else helping? Was Max just letting them know they were here?

The door swung open and Michael stood in the door frame. “It’s about time you got here, Maxwell. You did call this meeting, didn’t you?”

Max pushed open the door and Liz felt her heart drop and crash. The entire group sat around in various chairs, looking irritated for having their evening interrupted.

There was no candlelight, no flowers, no surprise. Max hadn’t remembered. He had just called another meeting.


Finding Yourself
Part 5

Liz sat quietly as she listened to Max go on about the information he’d found at Brody’s late last night. Apparently, satellite feedback had shown a small crater embedded in the desert outside Phoenix. According to all the charts Max had worked up on wind velocities and trajectory courses, this was the most probable location for the Granolith.

“Alright, this trip is going to take a few days, maybe a week, so I created a cover story with school and parents. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

Liz listened to them make plans about hotels and time tables and her anger began to build. How could he do this to her? She’d thought he’d remembered their anniversary, and instead he’d merely planned another meeting, another trip to find Tess and the child they created together. She had to face facts. She was nothing more than a tool to find Tess.

“I’m not going.”

Conversation continued around her, no one having heard her. But Kyle had been watching Liz ever since she had walked in the door. He’d watched as her heart had shattered right there in the hallway. Something was going on with her.

He examined her carefully now as Max talked. The dark circles around her eyes had grown larger, her eyes appearing to sink in. She had lost weight too. He hadn’t realized how much until she’d shed her baggy clothes for the dress she now wore. She looked to be nothing but skin and bones. He cursed himself for not noticing earlier. He, like everyone else had been wrapped up in the death of Alex and Tess’s betrayal, and hadn’t noticed how it affected anyone other than Max. For the first time in months, he saw sparks of life in her eyes, sparks of anger. It looked as though she had reached her breaking point.

“I think Liz has something to say.”

Max and the others looked up for the first time when Kyle raised his voice. All eyes turned to Liz.

“Not that anyone cares, but I’m not going with you this time.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course you are.” Maria dismissed her friend’s response easily. But Max looked up and saw Liz for the first time that night, maybe even in months. For some reason, she was pissed. And it was directed right at him.

“Liz, what’s wrong?”

Liz stood now. “What’s wrong? You want to know what’s wrong? Everything. How about that?”

“Okay, if you want we can talk about this tomorrow on the way to Phoenix. We really need to leave early in the morning.”

“You’re not listening. But that doesn’t really surprise me anymore. I’m not going to Phoenix. You don’t need me.”

Max approached her carefully. How could she think that? “Of course we need you.”

“Who? The team or you? Max, you haven’t even looked at me, let alone asked for my opinion in months now. The only thing you need me for is information on the Granolith. I know you’re hoping I know more. But you know what? I don’t.”

“But you knew about the Granolith before anyone told you.”

“Is that it? You want to know all the dirty secrets I have left? Fine. The reason I knew about the Granolith’s power before any of you is because Max told me.” Maria was giving her warning glares, but Liz no longer cared. Nothing mattered anymore. Max had broken her for the last time. There was nothing else to lose.

“In the future, there would have been a war. Tess would have left Roswell and everyone would have died. Except for the two of us. So, we sent you back in time to last year, the night you serenaded me to be exact, to fix things. To make Tess stay and for you to fall out of love with me. All he tome me was that it was dangerous if in your enemies’ hands. That was all I knew. All I know. Except that Alex’s death is every bit as much my fault as Tess’s, as well as you two conceiving a child.”

“How can you say that?” Max was struggling to keep up. Time Travel? Wars were fought? None of this was making sense, but Liz was still yelling at him.

“Don’t you see? If I hadn’t pushed you away, we would have slept together that night and none of this would ever have happened. It’s my fault Alex wasn’t alive to see his eighteenth birthday or go to that concert with Isabel. And because I pushed you towards Tess, we fought and you turned to her for comfort. I can’t forget that, Max. I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

Max’s heart broke looking at Liz on the verge of tears. He moved toward her to take her in his arms and she side stepped him, wrapping her arms around her body. A pain sliced deep in his heart. Liz had never done that before.

“No, don’t touch me. I’m done with this, with all of it. You know, I actually thought you remembered. I was foolish enough to think that maybe you would give me just one night. But you couldn’t even do that.”

“Liz, please, what are you talking about?”

“Today, Max. Do you know what today is?”

Max thought hard. Obviously today was important. It was Tuesday. Nothing significant there. What was the date? He had a hard time keeping track of things like that lately.

Liz watched him struggle to figure it out. “It’s September 18th, Max. It’s our anniversary.”

Max’s face twisted in horror. God, how could he have forgotten today? Now that he looked back, it was obvious. Liz was dressed up. She had thought he was taking her somewhere and he had forgotten all about today and brought her to another meeting to talk about Tess and his child. Again, he reached out for her and she stepped backwards.

”Liz, I’m sorry. I’m an ass. Let me make it up to you.”

Liz shook her head. “How? And why should you for that matter? After all, what’s an anniversary without a relationship to go along with it?”

An arrow straight to his heart, but Max accepted it. Why had it taken him so long to see the pain she was in? “Of course we have a relationship.”

“Do we? We’re not lovers. Hell, we’re not even friends anymore. When’s the last time you even looked at me, Max? Really looked at me. I took a look in my mirror this morning and you know what I saw? A stranger. I don’t eat, I can’t sleep. I have to weigh every decision I make in terms of what sort of cataclysmic event it will cause. I don’t even know who I am anymore. But I know that I don’t like it. And I know that I don’t like you anymore either. The person you’ve become is someone I don’t recognize either. How is that a relationship?

Max didn’t know what to say. He was indeed looking at her for the first time. Had she been feeling these things all along? “Liz…” he trailed off, not knowing what the hell he could say now that would make things better. When was the last time he had put her first in anything? Longer than he could remember.

Liz shook her head, knowing the tears would start to flow soon. She’d be damned if she’d breakdown in front of them. Without a word, she ran out the front door, slamming it behind her.


Finding Yourself
Part 6

Liz didn’t know how long she walked. It could have been hours, it could have been minutes. Time had all run together now. Without paying attention to her surroundings, she was surprised to find that her broken heart had taken her to Alex’s grave. She stood there a minute, staring at the immortal words chisled in marble.

Alex Charles Whitman
Beloved son and friend

That was all it read. There was nothing to tell the world that he was the only person who could beat her at pinball, or that he had been part of a group of three. Maria, Alex and Liz had been dubbed the three musketeers by their parents, never having gone anywhere without one of the others.

The tombstone said nothing about how his sense of humor had been the only thing to get them all through terrible times, or how he had been the best and most loyal friend anyone could ever have asked for. He would never have the chance to be remembered as a Beloved Husband and Father. He had died at the age of seventeen and it was all her fault.

Tired, Liz collapsed in front of the grave. She could no longer hold back the tears and found she didn’t want to. So, she let go, let out months of anguish and guilt.

“Hey, what’s with all the crying?”

Liz turned tear stained eyes to meet Alex’s worried gaze from behind her. “Oh, Alex. I’m so sorry.”

Alex hopped off the grave marker he had been perched on and sat on the ground beside his old friend. He held her as a fresh bout of tears surfaced. “It’s okay, Lizziebug.”

“No, it’s not okay. It can’t ever be okay again. You’re dead and Max doesn’t want me anymore.”

“Now that can’t be true. Max loves you.”

“Maybe, but it’s all so wrong. I don’t know if I can forgive him for sleeping with Tess, for giving up on us. But I was the one who pushed him towards her. So, that’s my fault too.”

“Enough of that. You can’t take on the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. They’re not big enough. Things happen the way they do for a reason. You know that. If giving up your life would have saved Max’s life, Isabel and Michael’s too, would you have done it?”

Liz sniffled, trying to see his point.

“Of course you would. That’s who you are. And maybe my death saved Isabel’s life. Maybe that was the greater good.”

“But I want you back here. It’s not fair.”

“I know, baby. But there’s nothing to be done about that now. What about Max? Do you still love him?”

Liz didn’t have to think. “Yes. I always will, but it’s killing me.”

Alex nodded, wisdom in his eyes. “Have you taken a look at yourself lately? What happened to my beautiful Liz? I’ve been watching you. You’re not taking care of yourself and I don’t like it. This has to stop. I don’t care what you have to do, but please find yourself again. I know you’ve been thrown for a loop here and I know it feels like it won’t ever get any better, but it will. Us ghosts are far wiser than the living. You have to trust me on this.”

“I’m thinking about leaving Roswell.”

Again, Alex only nodded as if he already knew this too.

Liz sighed. “I just don’t know if I can. How can I leave my friends and family behind and run away? What if they need me for something and I’m not here? And Max needs my support too, I know it.”

“Let me ask you a question. When was the last time anyone did need you? Max needs his own time to figure things out too. Maybe you all do.”

“So, you’re saying I should leave?”

“Whoa! I’m saying nothing of the sort. We’re not allowed to interfere, not directly anyway. But I think there are times to follow your head and times to follow your heart.”

“Well, which one is this?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Liz laughed at his fake accent. “Anyone ever tell you you have a morbid sense of humor?”

“Not lately.” He sobered a bit. “It’s time for me to go, Liz. I’m sorry I couldn’t help more. But you need to find yourself again. Stop blaming yourself for my death. It wasn’t your fault. There is still a lot you don’t know about yourself, about who you are. Your next decision will determine if those truths stay hidden or if they surface.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will. Be strong. I love you.”

“I love you too, Alex.” But he was already gone. She was alone in the dark cemetery. Could she really do it? Could she leave Roswell all by herself? A crunching sound startled her out of her daze.

Kyle grinned sheepishly at her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you might be here.”

Liz wiped at her tears and stood up. “You didn’t have to come get me. I’m fine.”

“That’s just it. I don’t think you are. And that’s all our faults. We didn’t notice, Liz. And I know I’m sorry for it. We agreed to be friends and I haven’t been a good one. I’d like to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

“You really don’t have anything to apologize for. Tess betrayed you worse of all.”

“Yeah, well humor me. Let me give you a ride home for starters, or anywhere you want to go.”

“Okay. Home sounds good.”

“Are you done here? I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Liz cast another glance at Alex’s grave and was able to manage a smile. She knew Alex was watching her, would be no matter what she did. And it was a start. “Yeah, I think I’m done here.”

Kyle wrapped an arm around her waist as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Together, they walked back to his Mustang. Liz didn’t have to say anything. Kyle knew something had changed, a decision had been reached and he was almost afraid to find out what it was.

He pulled the car to a stop outside her fire escape railing.

“Thanks, Kyle. You’re a good friend.”

“Not good enough, but I’m going to be.”

Liz smiled at him as she placed a kiss on his cheek and climbed out of the car and into the night.

Finding Yourself
Part 7

Max drove aimlessly in the dark, snatches of the earlier conversation running through his head.

Liz had stormed out of the apartment, leaving everyone in shock. It hasn’t taken Max long to recover and he had jumped up, heading for the door. Only Kyle had stood in his way, pulling him back.

“She’s been through enough. Let her have some time alone.”

“No, I need to find her now. I have to talk to her before it’s too late.”

“This isn’t about you, Max, not this time. This is about Liz and what she needs. You broke her heart again tonight. Maybe for the last time. Did you see the defeated look in her eyes? You put it there. Hell, we all did really. The last thing she needs is you charging after her, making her talk before she can get her thoughts together.”

“Kyle’s right.” Maria spoke up now. She hadn’t been a friend either. When her heart had been bleeding and raw, she had turned to Michael. Isabel and Kyle had each other. Who had Liz had to talk to? Liz had even asked for help this summer, telling Maria she was drowning here. But Maria had panicked and guilted her into staying. She was to blame too. “We all failed her. She doesn’t need any of us right now.”

“Well, she needs someone! She can’t just walk home in the dark!” Max had started pacing, realizing just how badly he had screwed up and not having a clue how to fix it.

“I’ll go.” Kyle had volunteered. “Just stay away from her.”

Now, Max drove, thinking back on all the things he could have said and done differently. It was a wonder she didn’t hate him after the way he’d treated her. Ignored, brushed aside for him to relentlessly quest after the Granolith.

Damning the consequences, he swung the Jeep around and headed towards Liz’s house. He needed to see her tonight. He had the sinking feeling that tonight may be his only chance to get through to her, to show her how much she meant to him.

He made the drive quickly, careful to pull quietly across the street to not wake the Parkers. He made his way rung by rung up her fire escape, not knowing what to expect. Would she even be there? If not, he would wait, as long as he needed to. But as he climbed over the ladder, his eyes were drawn to Liz’s small form huddled on her lawn chair. She looked so small, so broken, that he wanted to run to her and promise her the world. But he didn’t have the right to.

He hopped over the ledge as he’d done a hundred times, but it was different this time. Liz didn’t stand to greet him, didn’t flash him a secret smile. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember the last time he actually had seen her smile. She merely continued to stare up at the sky. Max approached her slowly.

“Liz? Is it okay if I sit down?”

She nodded and Max took a seat beside her. Where was he supposed to begin?

Liz knew he was struggling to find a way to reach her, but she was beyond it now. She knew what she had to do.

“Did I ever tell you the story about the time Maria, Alex and I went camping in Frasier Woods? It was the summer before I was shot. It was just the three of us, sitting in the middle of the dark woods, Alex’s idea of course. Maria and I had voted on going to another city and staying in a hotel for our vacation, but Alex insisted on going camping. He said we hadn’t lived until we’d had to rough it.” She smiled at the memory. “It rained, monsooned actually, and all we had was this second hand tent with a leaky roof. Maria and I moaned about it, but Alex was having the time of his life. He told us ghost stories and we ate the marshmallows we couldn’t toast. Then when we heard noises outside, Maria and I ended up sleeping in his sleeping bag with him, so he could protect us from whatever dangers lurked outside. We were miserable, cold and scared to death, but I’d give everything I had to go back to that night, that horrible night that almost made me catch pneumonia. Because, that night, it was just us. Everything was okay. I didn’t know it then, but that’s one of the best memories I have.” Liz paused.

“And then I think about what my life is like now. I can’t help but weigh every decision in terms of death and universal destruction. If I have cornflakes for breakfast, will the world end? Who will die today if I decide to throw caution to the wind and tell you right now I forgive you for everything you came here to apologize for? I feel like I’m weighing the value of human life. If we had slept together last year, then Isabel and Michael would have died, along with thousands of others. Tess would be gone, a war wouldn’t have to be waged over your unborn child. But instead, Alex is dead. There’s no winning.”

“Liz, none of that was your fault.”

“Well, the only common thread is that we were involved. We can dance around it all you want, Max, but as long as we’re here in each other’s pockets, everyone around us is in danger. Don’t you see? Michael was right all those years ago. I distract you. I mean, here you are babysitting me when you have a lead on finding your child.”

“I had to see you, Liz. I was worried about you”

“You shouldn’t be. I haven’t been okay in a long time.”

“I’m sorry again for that. I know words can’t begin to make up for it-“

“It’s fine, Max. I understand.”

Her tone was flat and he was truly worried now. Why wasn’t she yelling at him? “But you shouldn’t have to.”

“No, Max, really I get it. You were only doing what you had to do. It’s your responsibility to watch out for the others, for your planet and for your child. I’m sorry I threw a fit and stormed out. It was childish and wrong. As a friend, you deserved better.”

“Well, as a friend and the woman I love, you deserved better than I’ve been treating you.”

“Don’t say that.” Liz squirmed. She wouldn’t be able to do this if he told her how much he loved her.

“What? That I love you? I do, Liz. I know how I’ve treated you lately and that’s all going to change. I’ll spend more time just you and me. I won’t research so much to find the Granolith.”

“You would do that for me?”

Max swallow hard. “Yes.”

Liz closed her eyes. “Max, I can’t ask you to do that for me. That’s why this isn’t working.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t be okay in this town anymore, neither can you. If I let anything happen between us, it would be wrong. You have a destiny, Max, and it’s not me.”

“I’m so sick and tired of that word. If you’re afraid of what being with me will mean, or if you don’t love me anymore, tell me. But just don’t hide behind destiny.”

Liz turned to face Max for the first time. “I do love you, Max. I always will, but I’m dying here. Everything around here is slowly choking me. I love you enough to know that you don’t belong to me, and that I have to let you go.”

“No.”

“Yes. Max, you have a life to live. You need to be able to focus all your attention on finding your child, stopping Khivar, and finding yourself in all of this. Maybe I’m being cowardly, but it’s time for me to go. Put yourself in my shoes. If Kyle and I had slept together and we had conceived a child, but then I disappeared, how would you feel following Kyle around looking for his child, knowing that it should have been yours?”

Max knew how he would feel, anger, jealousy, rage, and a hundred other things. And he understood.

“That’s how I feel all the time. If it were just the baby we were looking for, maybe I could do it. But with her killing Alex and all the future stuff, it’s too much. When I said I don’t know who I am anymore, I meant it.” She waited, could she say it? “I’m leaving Roswell.”

Max’s heart lurched. “Okay, for how long? Christmas break is coming up soon.”

“No, I’m leaving tonight. I’m moving away.”

“You can’t leave. Liz, we can change things. I can change.” He was desperate now. He couldn’t live without her.

“You shouldn’t have to. After all this time, I’m still holding you back. You were supposed to be sleeping now so you can leave in the morning for Phoenix. But instead here you are, saying you’ll put it all behind you. You can’t do that, Max. Like it or not, you are a King. Not only do your people need you to find the Granolith, but you also have a child out there. And you should be spending every minute of the day looking for him. That’s why I’m leaving. It hurts too much to watch you do this and you don’t really need me. We both need some time to find our places. Somewhere out there, you do have a destiny. Maybe it’s with me, but maybe not. And maybe I have a destiny of my own to fulfill. And I can’t find it here. I have to leave.”

“Would you still have gone if I hadn’t come here tonight, if I hadn’t come here to talk to you?”

“But you did. I always did know what you were going to do before you did it. That’s how I know you’re going to be a great leader and a wonderful father.”

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know. I’m not going to hide or change my name. But I am going to ask you not to look for me. Don’t track me down and watch me from afar. I can sense when you’re around and it’ll only drive me crazy if I think you’re there somewhere.”

“Will you ever come back?” His heart had already accepted that she was leaving. She needed to. But he needed to know if he would ever look up and see her standing in front of him.

“One day, but don’t wait for me, Max. Maybe I’ll be able to work things out in my head for us to be together, maybe not. I’m letting you go so you can fly free and clear of guilt. You may find that the only way for all this to end is for you to go home. And if that’s where your path takes you, go.”

“Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind? I have to know.”

“Yes. All you have to do is ask me to stay. Ask me to spend the night with you and I will. But I won’t be the Liz Parker you fell in love with.”

Max nodded, his heart aching. He had done this to her, had pushed her to this point with his inattention and his very existence. But beyond all that, she loved him enough to stay if he said he needed her, even if it meant she would die a little more inside everyday. He did need her, like the very air he breathed. But she was right. There was too much in their way right now. Slowly, as if afraid not to scare her, he moved to sit in her lounge chair. She looked at him questioningly, but he was powerless to stop moving. He had to feel her in his arms one last time. He drew his arms around her, hugging her close, trying desperately to remember it all for later. Would her scent disappear from his memory? Could he ever forget how soft her skin was?

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we both need some time to spread our wings and see if our journeys take us apart or bring up back together.” He pulled back from her slim form and offered her a broken smile. “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

Liz let out a breath. He wasn’t going to ask her to stay. Was she glad he was making this easy, or disappointed? “Yeah, the bus station.”

“Okay. Is this all you’re taking?” He nodded to a bag that sat behind her chair.

“Yeah.” She stood with him, praying that her knees would hold her up. She was really going to do it. She was going to leave her heart behind and find a way to live again.

Max held out a shaky hand to her. Without hesitation, she placed her hand in his and they climbed down the fire escape and into Max’s Jeep.


Finding Yourself
Part 8

The ride to the bus station was quick, far too quick. And Max once again cursed the small town they lived in. He parked and Liz got out to purchase her ticket. Max stayed where he was, knowing Liz had been right. If her knew where she was going, the temptation would be too great. He would end up watching her from the shadows just to drink up the sight of her. And that wasn’t what this forced separation was about. They had to find out who they were apart from each other if they stood any chance of ending up together.

It took Liz only a minute, then she was back, sitting in the passenger seat. They both sat looking straight ahead at nothing.

“Did you get one?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“A half hour.”

A half hour, thirty short minutes. It wasn’t enough time. He wanted to turn the Jeep’s ignition and flee with her, run to a place where they didn’t have any problems. But there wasn’t any such place. But maybe there could be someday. “What do you want to do?”

“Can we just sit here?”

“Anything you want.”

Silence settled around them. There was nothing left to say. So, they watched the sunrise through the dusty glass windshield of Max’s Jeep. Liz moved to clasp hands with Max and he tightened his grip on the one piece of her flesh he was allowed to touch. How had he ever ignored her? What the hell had been wrong with him that he could be single minded enough to push Liz out of his life?

The minutes flew by and the couple soon found themselves watching the glowing green numbers of the clock on the control panel.

“I have to go.”

Max nodded. “I’ll walk you out.”

Together, they left the empty parking lot and through the ticket office to the bus. What few passengers there were stepped up to find their seats. Liz turned to Max, tears in her eyes.

“This is me.”

Max looked into Liz’s eyes and found his own anguish mirrored there. In that instant, he realized what they were both giving up. There was a very real chance they’d never see each other again, that he could be called home or she might find someone else that would realize that perfection she was. All the dreams and fantasies of his future with her were slipping away. And he was powerless to stop it. He didn’t deserve her. But he would next time they met, if they ever met again.

“Max,” Liz felt her own heart breaking as the silent drama unfolded. Would they ever have another chance, or was this it? Could this be the last time she would ever look into his deep eyes, or ever have the chance to be held in his strong arms?

On a sob, she threw herself at him, burying her head in his chest. Max’s arms came around her tight, his fingers winding up through her hair to grip her tighter to him. But it still wasn’t enough. He let her slip from his tight grip and their eyes met again. Slowly, he leaned closer, their lips barely touching.

Liz closed in the distance, wanting to feel his lips on hers one last time. She opened herself to him, pouring every bit of love into the kiss. She desperately needed him to know that she wasn’t trying to hurt him by leaving, but fixing them the only way she knew how.

Max returned the emotions. He understood why she had to go, just as he understood that his chest would be empty the rest of his life without her love, her trust to complete him. The kiss continued, both remembering better times when kisses were stolen in eraser rooms and secret rendezvous’ on her balcony let to heartfelt confessions of love.

Unable to stand anymore, Max broke the kiss. He couldn’t stop the tears if he wanted to. “I’ll always love you, Liz Parker, no matter where we end up. You made me who I am and I know I’ll see you again someday. Fate isn’t through with us yet. And hopefully, I’ll be worthy of you then.”

Liz smiled through the tears that threatened to blind her, her last gift to him. She took several steps backward, not wanting to let Max slip from her sight yet. When there was nowhere left to go, she stepped on the bus, scurrying to the back window to watch Max for as long as she could. She could feel the vibration of the bus as the engine started and she knew they were leaving. She placed her palm flat against the glass, wishing there were another way, but knowing there wasn’t.

The bus moved forward and Max began getting smaller. Liz saw him start forward, almost as if to stop her, but he remained. Soon, the bus had pulled away from the station completely and Liz remained where she was, even after Max was only a speck in the distance.


Finding Yourself
Part 9

The phone rang, echoing through the Evans’ household. Diane Evans rolled over in bed and answered it sleepily on the fourth ring.

“Hello?”

“Diane? I’m sorry to bother you this early in the morning, but I’m afraid I have a problem.”

Diane bolted upright in bed. “Sheriff Valenti? Jim? What is it?”

“Well, I need to ask you to check and tell me if both of your kids are in bed.”

“Diane, what’s going on?” Phillip awoke quickly. The Sheriff calling at five in the morning was only trouble.

Diane covered the phone mouthpiece. “Jim wants to know if the kids are in bed.”

“Of course they are. I’ll go check though.” Phillip made his way out of bed and into the hallway.

“Jim, what’s this about? Phillip’s checking. Is everything okay?”

Jim sighed over the connection. “No, I’m afraid it looks like Liz Parker has run away. She left her parents a note and I was hoping Max and Isabel could help.”

“God, how horrible! How’s Nancy?”

“Not well. She’s beside herself with worry.”

Phillip returned to the doorframe, Isabel right behind him. “Max isn’t in his room.” His eyes were panicked. Where the hell was his son and why was the Sheriff asking?

“What’s going on?” Isabel knew Max was going to get caught out with Liz one day. She couldn’t cover for him forever.

“Jim, Max isn’t here either. Oh, god, is he gone too?”

“Now calm down, Diane. I’m on my way out there.”

Diane hung up the phone and turned to her family. Had Max run away with Liz? “Liz Parker ran away from home. Isabel, where’s Max? Was he with her?”

Isabel was speechless. Liz had run away? That didn’t sound right. Surely, Max and Liz were just off somewhere talking.

“They had a fight earlier and he went to find her last I heard. They probably just got caught up somewhere working things out. This is just a big misunderstanding. You’ll see.”

But four hours later, Isabel wasn’t so sure. Sheriff Valenti had come by and given them the whole story. The Parkers had gone to check up on Liz and had found her room empty except for a note to her parents. Some clothes and personal affects were missing. Maria, Michael, and Amy were with the Parkers now, waiting for any kind of news. Their story had been the same. Max and Liz had fought and that was the last anyone had seen of them, except for Kyle finding her at Alex’s grave.

Kyle had come over to the Evans’ house and had helped Isabel pick through Max’s things, looking for any sign of a struggle or if anything was missing. Isabel insisted that Max and Liz had been taken, saying her brother wouldn’t just leave them like that. Kyle wasn’t so sure. But to be safe, they had told the Sheriff anyway. He agreed to let them help search and Kyle and Isabel hopped into Kyle’s Mustang to pick up Michael and Maria.

At the Crashdown, they found hysterical Parkers and a distraught Maria. Amy was doing her best to calm them all, but her heart wasn’t in it. When they saw Isabel and Kyle, their eyes lit up.

“Did you find them?” Maria rushed forward, expectantly.

“No, no word yet. The Sheriff thought the four of us might be able to look around a few places they might be.”

“Good idea. Maria, you take the car. I’ll be here if you need me.” Amy patted her daughter’s hand, pushing them out the door. There was no need to have a half dozen people sitting around fretting, when they could be out looking.

Outside, the four agreed to split up. Michael and Maria would check the pod chamber, cemetary and the school. Isabel and Kyle would circle around town and try the airport, train and bus stations.

Kyle drove in silence, thinking about Liz. She had looked absolutely broken in the cemetery. How long had that been building up? Liz was tough, it would have to have taken more than a single incident to set her off like that. This had to be Alex’s death and the future Max incident that put things in perspective now. So, it was no wonder she would have left town. But for Max to go with her? It didn’t make sense.

They had already been by the park and every place they could ever remember Max and Liz going. They had tried the airport and the train stations with no luck. They were headed for the bus station now, the last place they knew to look.

Kyle heard a car horn behind him and he checked his rear view mirrors. “Hey, Isabel, Michael and Maria are behind us.”

Isabel swiveled around in time to see the Jetta pull alongside the Mustang. Maria rolled down the passenger window and Kyle rolled down his as well.

“Any luck?” he yelled out the window.

“No, you guys headed for the bus station?”

“Yeah. Meet us there and we’ll regroup.”

Maria nodded and the Jetta sped off in front of them, leading the way to the station.

Both cars pulled into the parking lot at the same time and Isabel let out a gasp as she recognized Max’s Jeep sitting empty. She was clawing at the door handle as Kyle slowed the car for her to jump out. Isabel ran to the Jeep, frantically searching for any sign of her brother and Liz. Maria was on the other side of the Jeep, doing the same thing.

A white envelope caught Isabel’s eye and she picked it up to see Liz’s loopy scrawl on it. “Maria, I think this is for you.”

Maria looked at the envelope, identical to the one the Parkers had found that morning. Without having to open it, she burst into a fresh bout of tears.

Isabel looked frantically around the parking lot. Max wasn’t there and Liz had left a note for Maria. Maybe it would shed some light on what was going on, but Isabel had to find Max. He couldn’t be gone. She took off into the ticket office, pushing her way into the front of the line to pull out a picture of Max and Liz and thrusting at the ticket booth operator.

“Have you seen these two here tonight?”

The man scratched his head a minute. “I don’t recall seeing the young fella, but the girl looks familiar.”

Isabel’s heart lurched. “When? Where did they go?”

“Isabel!”

Isabel turned to where Maria’s voice had called from. Without an apology, she pushed her way back through the line to make a break for the buses. But the sight she found made her stop short even as her heart broke. Max was sitting on a bench, head in his hands, looking frozen. She ran to his side and knelt before him, trying to make him look up at her. Maria and the others had followed just as quickly, but were more than willing to let Isabel handle things now.

“Max, look at me. Are you okay?” He didn’t answer, so she shook him a bit. “Max, I need you to snap out of it. Where’s Liz?”

At the mention of Liz’s name, the tears started rolling down Max’s cheeks again. “She’s gone, Is. She’s gone.”

Shocked, Isabel took her brother into her arms and rocked him gently as he wept. What had they done?


Finding Yourself
Part 10

The group had watched Isabel and Max for a few minutes, before Michael gently reminded them that the police were still out looking for them. He reasoned that it would be better to take Max home, as opposed to having to be brought back by a police cruiser. So, Isabel had managed to coax her brother back into the Jeep. Michael had driven in silence while Maria’s occasional sniffle was the only sound heard.

Max seemed to have shut down as they pulled him from the last place he had seen Liz. His eyes had sort of glazed over and Isabel was truly worried for him. Then the anger began building towards Liz. She knew it was irrational and selfish to think that way, but Liz had fled in the middle of the night and left her brother like this. He didn’t deserve it. Isabel ignored the rational part of her brain that told her why Liz had left. She didn’t want to hear it just yet. Maybe later.

Michael had pulled up in the Evans’ driveway and they sat still, no one wanting to go in and explain what had happened. But they didn’t have to wait long. The front door had been flung open and Diane and Phillip came rushing towards them, folding Max in their arms. He allowed them to lead him upstairs to bed and the Sheriff approached Isabel and Kyle, looking like they were the only rational ones in the group.

“She left town, Dad.” Kyle hung his head low. He had seen it coming, but hadn’t stopped it.

“When?”

“Early this morning, bus station. We found Max still there.” Isabel didn’t want to talk to the Sheriff now. She only wanted to get up in her brother’s room and make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. Without another word, she broke from the group and ran up the stairs.

Kyle turned to his father. “They’re not taking it well.”

“What happened?”

Kyle ran a hand through his hair, a mirror image of his father. “Things have been pretty rocky since Tess and Alex. You know how single minded Max has been lately, trying to find them. I think Liz was just holding it all in and it just built up. She exploded last night. I guess it was their anniversary or something and she thought he was going to surprise her and instead, he’d just called another meeting with all of us.”

Jim shook his head. “The shooting. That was two years ago yesterday, wasn’t it?”

“What are you going to do, dad? You can’t drag her back, can you? It’ll kill her.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t do a thing since she already left town. She is eighteen, barely, but she legally old enough to leave if she wants. I was hoping I could at least get her to talk to her parents, but I guess not. She really didn’t say anything to anyone?”

Kyle shook his head. Maria still had yet to open the letter they had found. That was for her alone to share if she chose. “Only Max.”

Jim nodded, as if expecting the answer. “Okay, son. I guess I have to go tell the Parkers. Maybe having Amy there will help. I’ll see you at home.” Jim turned to walk to his car, then stopped, turning back around to pull Kyle into a tight hug. “I love you, Kyle. You know that, right?”

Okay, this was getting to be too much. “Yeah, dad. I got it.”

Jim nodded again, this time returning to his car and stepping in, dreading the return to the Parkers.

Upstairs, Max had been tucked into bed, his lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. Why was it that he could only see her face wherever he looked now? He had done everything he could to push her away, her sad doe eyes haunting him every time they met. But now, he longed for those eyes. What had he done? Why had he let her go?

Diane and Phillip held each other as Isabel sat on her brother’s bed and whispered in his ear. They were thankful Max was here, that he hadn’t run away with Liz, but they had a feeling that they had still lost their son.

Isabel turned her back to her parents, hoping she was blocking them from seeing what she was doing, but not really caring if they did. If she could offer any sort of comfort to her brother, she would do it. She placed a hand on his forehead and closed her eyes. She formed a connection with Max and sought to put him to sleep. She ignored the feelings and images he sent her, instead focusing on his neural pathways. When his breathing had labored and she was sure he would be okay alone for a few hours, she rose from the bed and gestured for her parents to follow her out. She climbed down the stairs, the evening’s events taking a toll on her body now. Kyle was in the kitchen, banging around, making coffee or tea she supposed. Why people did that in times of stress she never knew, but found that she was comforted by his presence. She wouldn’t have to face her parents alone.

Isabel turned, and found herself pulled into tight hug from both of her parents. She held onto them for a minute, glad she at least had them. Then, she pulled away, knowing they needed a story.

Kyle emerged from the kitchen with mugs of warm tea. Diane took one gratefully from him, using the ceramic to warm her chilled hands. They had almost lost their son today.

“Isabel, what happened? Where did you find Max? And what about Liz?”

Isabel faultered, not knowing where to start. She felt Kyle’s hand on her arm and she flashed him a grateful smile. He would take over for her and she would owe him forever for it.

“Mr. and Mrs. Evans, Liz is gone. She left town early this morning. From what we figure, Liz had a nervous breakdown of sorts. Alex’s death was too much for her and you know Max and Liz had been broken up at the time. When Max dated Tess,” Kyle found the words vial to his own ears. “Liz couldn’t handle it. She pushed everyone away when Alex died and everything just went bad last night. They fought and she left. I found her in the cemetery last night and I took her home. Sometime after that, Max showed back up and I guess they talked it all through. Max drove her to the bus station and that’s where we found him. I think he let her go, even though it may have killed him.”

Diane began sobbing, and Phillip held her tight. “What about her parents? Is your dad going to find her?”

Kyle sighed. “Well, the tricky part is that she’s legally old enough to do what she wants. Dad says he can’t force her back. In Liz’s letter to the Parkers, she asked them to give her some time, not to come looking for her. And if they let her be, she would call them in a few weeks and keep in touch. I just hope Dad can talk them into following her wishes. If they hire someone to drag her back, she’ll just leave again and then no one will ever be able to find her.”

“God, it’s just so horrible! I wish I could do something, but I think we’d do more harm than good to Nancy and Jeff right now. When you see them, you’ll tell them to call us if they need anything?”

“Of course.” Kyle wasn’t sure when he had developed his father’s tact and ability to handle people in a crisis, but he found that it wasn’t as distasteful as he once thought.

Diane squeezed Phillip’s hand. “I’m going to make lunch. Kyle, you’ll stay, won’t you?”

Kyle slid his eyes toward Isabel, seeking her answer. He would go if she wanted to be alone with her family.

“He’ll stay.” Isabel offered him a weak smile. She needed someone to keep her strong, and Kyle was perfect for the job. She had a feeling it was going to be a long healing process for everyone involved. And wherever Liz was, Isabel hoped that she could find someone to lean on herself. Somehow, they all would get through this.

Finding Yourself
Part 11

In the weeks following Liz’s hasty departure from Roswell, the town was abuzz with gossip on what had actually happened. Liz Parker was a straight A student, top of her class with a bright future ahead of her. Sure, she had lost one of her friends, but everyone was convinced there were more sinister forces at work for her disappearance. One rumor floating around was that she had found herself pregnant and had been forced to flee in shame. Another rumor was that she had found herself in trouble with the law and was on the run. But wherever her name was mentioned, one thing was for sure. Max Evans was at the core of the problem.

Everyone knew how perfect of a couple they had been, the two smartest students in the class had emerged as a super-couple overnight. Max Evans had been one of the most eligible bachelors in their class, elusive and shy and he had changed in the blink of an eye. When rumors had first started that they had broken up last year, they weren’t believed. But then when the new blond girl had appeared tied at the hip with Max, the talking had started anew. Then with the death of Alex Whitman still fresh in everyone’s minds, it was no wonder Liz had skipped town.

The five remaining members of the group had somehow managed to muddle along with their lives, but just barely. Maria had read the letter left to her by Liz and refused to share it with anyone, but no one had really pressed her for information. They all knew what they needed to know already. Liz wasn’t coming back for along time, if ever at all.

Jim Valenti had been successful in convincing the Parkers not to hire a private investigator and drag her back home. He had explained that they had to trust her on her own for now, give her the room she had asked for, and one day they would get her back. They hadn’t liked it, but they had come to terms with it, waiting each day for the phone to ring, hoping it would be their Lizzie letting them know she was safe and sound.

Michael had been there for Maria, becoming the supportive boyfriend she had always tried to turn him into. He stayed with her day and night, half afraid to leave her alone, and to their surprise, Amy Deluca hadn’t had a problem with Michael’s temporary living arrangements. Maybe because she knew her daughter had lost both of her best friends and was afraid she might lose her daughter too, but Michael had become a permanent fixture in the Deluca household.

Maria had taken to tuning out the world and staring off into space. They could only guess she was living in her memories of happier times with her two best friends. But it was the spontaneous crying jags that caught them off guard and put them on edge. Some days it was something as small as a song on the radio that Alex had sung to her, or pulling her red sweater out of her closet only to remember that Liz had borrowed it, but Maria was just as broken as Max, if not more. At least he’d had the chance to say goodbye.

Isabel had taken over the roll of protector and mother hen. She made sure Max ate and slept, having to remind him to do these simple tasks. He too would stare off into space, only he could sit there uninterrupted for days if Isabel let him. He had replayed every minute of their time together in his head hundreds of times, but he refused to talk to anyone.

His parents had finally forced him out of bed after a week, and he had returned to school with an air of indifference. He didn’t study, didn’t do his homework. Not even his pursuit for the Granolith could catch his interest. He was merely existing, his mind caught in the endless loop of his time with Liz, while his body functioned as everyone expected it to. Get up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, eat, and sleep again. Each day blended in with the rest. He no longer knew what day it was or cared. When Isabel woke him up and told him where to go, he did it. Arguing only took away from the time in his head with Liz.

Still more time passed with no sign of any change. Summer had turned into Fall and the nights were becoming cooler. And as each day passed, Michael became more worried. Maria was suffering from nightmares that were keeping them both awake. Isabel too had stopped sleeping in her own bed, instead using Michael’s old sleeping bag to sleep on Max’s floor in case he needed anything. And getting Max to say more than ten words a day was becoming increasingly harder.

Only Kyle seemed to be as worried as Michael was. Kyle himself had tried to be there for his friends, only to discover that he wasn’t needed. He had taken to spending more and more time away from the group, afraid that his growing anger towards Max would erupt one day. At least for Isabel’s sake, he had maintained his distance so far, helping where he was needed most. By being gone. Max had crushed a good friend and let her leave alone. No one knew where she was or if she was okay. But of course she wasn’t okay. Why would she be? But at least Max and Maria had their friends and family to take care of them. Liz was alone.

Only Michael seemed to see these things. He knew the group was falling apart. They had lost their leader and maybe the heart of the group as well. Isabel now gave all her attention to Max and Maria had Michael. Michael felt as if Kyle was slowly being fazed out of the group. They needed to act, and act fast.

But Maria had beaten Michael to the punch, already seeing that they were becoming less and less of the closely bonded group they had once been. She had opened her eyes and taken a good look at herself in the mirror that chilly October morning and hadn’t liked what she had seen. Her eyes were hollow and puffy from crying herself awake that morning from another nightmare that she couldn’t remember.

All she knew was that she had never felt so alone in her life. Then it had hit her. That was how Liz had felt for months, that exact emotion. Maria understood then for the first time why her friend had left so abruptly, and vowed to find some way to make things up to her. She hadn’t been much of a friend for Liz since Alex’s death, but she would be now.

Maria had also wondered for the first time what this was doing to the others. She had been so caught up in her own grief that she hadn’t really looked at them either. She knew no one had continued with the search for the Granolith and Max’s son, and everything about that seemed wrong. Liz had left so Max and the others could do these things properly, so that Max could obsess night and day over how to fix his mess, so Max could learn to become the wonderful father and King Liz knew he would be. And maybe Liz would one day find her way home, maybe not. But her sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain.

With a glint of determination in her eyes that had been missing for far too long, Maria had slipped away from Michael long enough to sneak into the UFO center. If there were any more recent activity, Brody would have information about it. He had become obsessed himself with the object numerous countries were searching for, convinced that it held the key to his own abductions. Luckily, Maria knew exactly how to get into the files from several of the covert operations they had run in the past.

She slipped into Brody’s office and quickly popped the lock on his file cabinet, silently thanking her cousin for teaching her something useful. She thumbed through the older documents and quickly zeroed in on the newest ones. Hastily, she carried them to the small copier in the corner of the office, had replaced the originals and snuck back out before anyone had even known she was there. There was just one place left to go now, and it would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do.


Finding Yourself
Part 12

Maria steeled up all her courage as she sat in her parked Jetta outside of the Evans residence. She knew the Evans were out shopping, so that just left her Isabel to deal with. Max had been well guarded by his sister, making sure that no one hurt her still fragile brother. Well, Isabel hadn’t dealt with Maria yet. She would just march up there and demand to see Max. Or she could just go through the window like Liz used to. The more she thought about it, the better the second way sounded. Yep, there was something to be said for the coward’s way out of a situation.

More nervous now than she thought possible, Maria climbed out of her car and across the well manicured front lawn. Sadly, she already knew which window was Max’s. When had they begun using windows more often than doors?

A quick pass around the house showed her that Isabel was watching television in the living room alone. That meant Max must be in his room. Maria carefully picked her way around the house and in front of Max’s window. It was now or never.

Not bothering to knock, Maria slid the window open and poked her head through. Max was on his bed, sleeping by the looks of it. Deciding it was better this way, Maria set about climbing through to his bedroom. Succeeding with only minor scrapes, she approached the side of the bed.

“Max, wake up.” Maria whispered, but received no response.

Poking him in the ribs, she tried again. “Max, I need to talk to you.”

Max groaned and rolled over, burying his face under his pillow. “Go away, Maria. I already told Isabel I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

Maria felt her anger rise to the surface. Did he really think he was going to get away with that? “Max Evans, I don’t give a damn what you want. I’m here to talk to you and you’re going to get up and listen to me.”

Max pulled the pillow from over his head, turning pleading eyes to Maria. “Please, Maria, you understand, don’t you?”

“Oh yeah, I understand alright. Those sad eyes may work on Isabel, but not on me, not anymore. It’ll be less embarrassing if you just get up and dressed on your own, but I’m not leaving here without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Wanna bet? Max, you’ve been holed up in here for weeks now and we’ve let you. Hell, I’ve done the same thing, so I know how easy it is. But it’s time for that to stop. Both of us need to wake up and have a talk.”

Max saw the gleam in her eyes. Maria was in the mood to talk and she looked pissed. He’d wondered how long it was going to take for his friends to blame him for Liz’s disappearance. He supposed he owed her at least the chance to get it out of her system. “Give me a minute.”

Maria watched as Max climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans, not bothering to tuck in his shirt. They had all stopped living, and they were about to begin again. She took a glance around his room and found that it wasn’t much better than Max’s appearance. “First thing we do after we get back and you shower is clean this place up.”

Max ignored her jibe. “I assume you didn’t go through Isabel?”

“Uh, no the window, actually.”

Max nodded. He really didn’t feel like going through Isabel much himself. He loved her, but when she played mother hen, she could be stifling. Together, they climbed out the window and slipped into Maria’s Jetta. The window was down and Max found that he enjoyed the feel of fresh air as they raced down the highway. It had felt like ages since he had breathed it in. “Where are we going?”

But Maria didn’t answer. She was trying to figure out what she was going to say and if she would still have a friend in Max when she was through. They drove in silence for the trip out to the desert.

Max immediately recognized the surroundings. She was taking him to the bluff where they used to have their meetings, back before Tess, before Destiny, before they had hurt each other.

Sure enough, Maria slowed the car and parked, jumping out of the car. Nerves drove her forward as she paced the bluff.

Max followed her slowly. “Look, Maria, I know you’re angry with me. You have every right to be.”

She whirled to face him. “You’re damn right I’m angry with you. And thank you for giving me your permission, your highness.”

Max’s spine stiffened. “That’s not necessary, Maria.”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t that what this is all about? You give commands and we follow? The Great King and his lowly servants? You tried to command Liz from leaving Roswell to find out the truth about Alex. You commanded Isabel not to leave for school. Who knows what else you’ve done, because you haven’t talked to me in months. Did that work out for you? Did you get better results with threats and demands? Liz was right. Look at us. Look at what all of us have become. Ever since Alex died things have been wrong. Liz knew it, but none of us believed her. You made her feel guilty, drew a line in the sand between us all. And none of us chose her. I’m to blame for how I treated her too, but she was right. She knew Alex better than the rest of us and she believed in him. I don’t know about you, but I’ve lost my faith in everything. And I know how scared and alone I’ve been. Your world wasn’t the only one that was shaken up, Max.”

Max stood tall, afraid to move for fear of breaking down and never being able to regain his footing. “I’m sorry, Maria. I haven’t been there for you. You lost both of them.”

“This isn’t about me.” Maria felt her anger draining away. She still wasn’t done with Max, but this wasn’t the time for the fierce storm of her anger. There would come a day when she would let him have it, but not today. She needed to get their group back on track. “No, you weren’t there for me. But you know who else you haven’t been there for? Your son.”

Max’s eyes flared. “I don’t want to talk about that.” He couldn’t. The guilt was too much. How could he help anyone if he couldn’t even help himself?

“Well, guess what? I do. Liz left because she wanted you to be able to concentrate day and night to find him, to get the Granolith back so that it won’t be a threat to your people. What about them? Would you condemn millions of people because you got your heart broken?”

Max winced. He’d never had a furious Maria before, angry yes, but furious no. “That’s not fair.”

“You’re right, it’s not. Look at yourself. Is this what you want to be like? Do you want to just exist, waiting for the day maybe when Liz comes back? Cause I can tell you she’s not going to break down and come running home. She’s lost too. But if she does come back around one day to see what we’re up to, this isn’t the Max she’s going to come running home too. She fell in love with the Max that was self-assured, that was a friend, and that cared about those around him. And you’re not him anymore. Maybe you never will be again, but maybe you can be someone better. Maybe we all can.” She softened, knowing she was getting through to him.

“If you want, you can spend the rest of your life lying in bed playing what-if games in your head. Or you can get up and take your life back. Find the Granolith, your son. And if the only way to save him is to return home, then go home. That’s why she left, Max. So you could be your own person. You need to face the consequences of your actions. She may be gone for good.”

Max’s features reflected nothing but pain. “I don’t know how to do it without her.”

“Then we’ll figure it out together. I’m not going to leave you alone. I may kick you in the ass every now and then, but I’ll be here whenever you want to talk about her and Alex. I don’t want there to be awkward silence whenever their names are brought up. We need to be a team again, you, me, Isabel, Michael, and Kyle.”

Max groaned. “He has to hate me.”

Maria nodded her head. “I think so. But if you want his help, you’ll have to prove to him that he’s wrong about you. Prove to him that you can be a friend. Kyle was hurt too, you know. He thought of her as a sister. We all were burned by Tess. But I’m not going to let her ruin anymore of our lives. Liz asked me not to.”

“Did she say that in her letter? What else did it say? Do you mind talking about it?” He had to know more about what she had been feeling.

“I don’t know. Max, she was so hurt. She just kept writing about how lonely and scared and empty she’d been without Alex. It tore her up having people think he’d killed himself. She knew how much life was in him. She wrote about how she knew if she didn’t leave she would regret it her whole life. She wants to live, to find out what normal looks like. And she wants the chance to find out if her love for you is the best kind or the kind that only kills you slowly. She said she would write to me sometime, not anytime soon, but she wouldn’t disappear completely.” Maria looked down at her feet. “If she does, I’m not going to tell you. Just like I won’t tell her how you are if I ever have the chance to write to her. You both need time apart.”

Max looked at Maria’s defeated form and realized she was right. He had been spoiled and selfish. Everyone else had been hurt and they had moved on. Somehow, he would find a way to move on, for Isabel and Michael, for Maria, for his son, for himself. Liz had believed in him the way she had believed in Alex, and he wouldn’t waste that. What was the point in her leaving if nothing good came out of it?

“Where do I begin?”

Maria looked up into Max’s eyes. There was still sadness, but a determination also swam in his depths. Had she gotten through? “I have the updated reports from the satellite feeds in the car.”

Max nodded. “Will you help me go through them?”

Maria smiled a real smile. “I would love to.” But she still had to know where they stood. “Max, are we okay? I didn’t want to be too hard on you and I’m still angry, but can we be friends?”

Max closed the distance between them and pulled Maria into a tight hug. “We will be again. I promise to work on it if you promise to kick me in the head if I get caught up in myself again.”

“Deal.” Maria broke away from him and together they set about the task of pinning down the most likely place for the Granolith.

Finding Yourself
Part 13

Kyle stood in the middle of his living room doing a quick inventory. Potato chips? Check. Nachos and salsa? Check. Soda? Check. Remote control? Check. Satisfied, he flopped down on the couch and grabbed the closest bag of chips. The day of games was ready to begin. He had his whole day mapped out. College football games were following themselves all day until there was an endless stream of them that couldn’t have made Kyle happier. He had absolutely no reason to move. He had already disconnected the phone and had taped a sign on the door that instructed anyone who read it to go away. He picked up the remote, aiming to turn on the television when a frantic burst of knocks sounded at the door.

A shutter ran through his body at the sound. He just wouldn’t answer it. They would go away and he would get to watch his games. He waited a beat, not turning on the television yet. After a few seconds of silence, the knocking started anew.

Kyle swore, throwing the remote and dropping his chips as he rose, stalking over to the door. He pulled it open roughly and Isabel poured into the room, tears running down her perfect face.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His annoyance forgotten, He pulled her into the living room.

Isabel shook him off, pacing, wringing her hands. “He’s gone, Kyle. I can’t find him and I’ve looked everywhere.”

“Slow down. Who’s gone?” Kyle was still giving her a once over. She didn’t seem hurt, but she did look hysterical.

“Max. I can’t find Max anywhere. He was sleeping in his room and I thought he’d be okay on his own for a few minutes while I watched television. When I went to check on him, he was gone. He must have left from his window. I tried to call Michael, but he didn’t answer. I’ve been all over town and I can’t figure out where he went.”

That was the big emergency? Kyle took a deep breath. No one was hurt. “Isabel, you have to calm down. I’m sure Max is fine. He probably just wanted some air. He’s probably back home already.”

“No! He’s not! He’s gone, Kyle. I just knew this was going to happen if I let him out of my sight. And I was right. Oh, god, what if he left to go find Liz? I can’t lose him to her again. She does nothing but hurt him anyway. I’m glad she left.”

“Whoa there. You don’t mean that.” Kyle felt his defenses rise. Nobody would talk about Liz like that, not even Isabel.

“Why not? Every time she crooks her finger, Max goes running and then she leaves him when things get rough. I’m tired of picking up after her.” She continued to pace, her anger at the situation rising.

“You know that’s not what happened. It destroyed her to leave for Florida last summer, and I know it destroyed her to leave town for good this time too.” Kyle had to remind himself that she was just upset over Max. She would regret saying these things later.

“What do you know about it? Just because you dated her and pretended to sleep with her doesn’t make you an expert.”

“At least I can claim to be her friend. When did you ever spend more than five minutes in her presence without criticizing her for something? She sacrificed a lot for you and Michael, and when she needs friends the most, you push her aside. She lost Alex too. How would you feel if Michael died and everyone gave Maria comfort, but ignored you?” Tired, Kyle ran a hand through his hair. “This isn’t helping anything. Why didn’t you come over and get me right away?”

She had wanted to and the pathetic need had scared her. She didn’t want to depend on someone the way Max and Michael did. She wouldn’t fall into that trap. “It was my problem to deal with, mine and Michaels. Not yours.”

“Oh, I see.” Kyle’s spine stiffened. She had reverted back to the ice queen, her voice taking on a frosty air. “I thought that when friends had problems, they leaned on each other. I guess I was wrong.”

Isabel’s temper rose at the flat tone of his voice. “Your bruised ego isn’t the problem here.”

“You’re right. You’re the problem. And I think you should leave.”

“What? I’m not going anywhere. You have to help me find Max. You have to call your dad and make him put our an APB or something.” She couldn’t believe her ears. Kyle was kicking her out? That was unacceptable.

“Why? Because you can’t find Michael to help you first? I’m not your back-up friend, Isabel. You can’t just come over because you need my dad’s help. Either you trust me to help you all the time or not at all.”

“This is crazy. Max could be in trouble. We have to go now.” She snapped at him, unable to help herself. Where were these demands coming from?

“I’m not one of your servants, princess. You can’t order me into action. And maybe Max is just fine. He’s a big boy. He knows his way home.” Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. This wasn’t going to end well.

“You’re only doing this because you’re mad at Max.”

“Damn right I’m mad at Max. I’m pissed as hell at him, but I’ve kept my distance from your delicate brother for your sake. Maybe Max needs a good kick to the head to knock some sense into him. But at the moment, I’m mad at you as well.”

“Fine, whatever. Be mad at me. I thought we were friends, that you would help me if I came over and asked for help.”

“But that’s the problem. You didn’t ask, you demanded. That’s not what friends do. But if you really want me to be a friend, then I feel obliged to tell you that you’ve been crazy lately. Ever since Liz left, you’ve treated Max like a handicapped child. You do everything but cut up his food for him. It has to stop. Max doesn’t need to be coddled. He needs to get his ass in gear and be a leader. And he can’t and won’t do that unless you back off.”

“What the hell do you know about my brother? Or any of us that that matter? Maybe you’ve forgotten, but the only reason you’re alive right now is because he saved your life.” Kyle’s words were wounding her, putting her back up. Was she really holding Max back? She couldn’t be. She was just helping.

“I haven’t forgotten a thing. But just because he healed a gunshot wound in my stomach doesn’t mean I owe him or any of you a lifetime of worship and the rights to my first born child. You know, I thought I understood why Liz left, I really did. But it turns out that I didn’t until this very moment.”

Isabel allowed the cold Ice Queen mask to slip back up to cover her features. “Then maybe you should go join Liz. You can start a ‘We Hate Aliens’ club. Maybe we could all do a Jerry Springer reunion sometime.”

He refused to take her bait. “You deserve better than being a babysitter, having to constantly worry about Max. How are you ever going to live your life?”

“I’m not going to kick my brother aside when he’s at the lowest point in his life.”

“He’s not at the lowest point in his life. If he was, he’d have no place to go but up, and he’s still sinking fast. Let him fall, Isabel. I may have issued with him, but he’s a survivor, you all had to be. I guarantee he’ll land on his feet. But you have to give him that chance.”

“You’re not going to help me, are you?” She switched tactics, batting her watery eyes at him and letting her face soften just enough.

Kyle stood his ground. He would not crumble under the teary eyes or the desperate need in her eyes. He suspected many had fallen for that act too many times before. “No.”

The softness disappeared and she was once again unreadable. She nodded briskly. “Then we don’t have anything left to say to each other. We’re not friends anymore.”

“If that’s the way you want it.”

“It’s the way it has to be. I can’t have people in my life I can’t depend on.” She turned and let long strides carry her towards the door. She resisted the urge to slam the door behind her, but just barely.

Kyle sunk back down to the couch, his afternoon’s plans no longer appealing. He knew he’d just burned his last bridge in the group of people he acknowledged as friends. There was no use looking back now. What the hell was he going to do now?

Finding Yourself
Part 14

Michael pushed his way through the Deluca household into the tidy kitchen, performing a juggling act with bags of groceries. As he slammed them down on the counter, he wondered when he’d become so domesticated. Somehow, two women not ruled his life. But he truthfully didn’t want it any other way. Amy had been so great about letting him stay with Maria, he’d wanted to do something for her. So, grocery shopping had seemed easy enough. How the hell was he supposed to know what shampoo they used? He’d grabbed the list off Amy’s fridge and knew he was in over his head from the minute he’d walked into the store.

Maria had begged for some alone time that morning, pushing him out the door in a way that had left no ruffled feathers. But she’d woken up in a strange mood, having seemed more aware than he’d seen her since Alex died. He dared not hope he had his Maria back. It had killed him to watch her sit back and take the recent events without a fight. His Maria was passionate and reckless. She wasn’t a planner, but a doer, often with an impulse that drove him mad. But he’d take that infuriating girl any day over the one with the heartache in her eyes.

The groceries forgotten, Michael turned towards Maria’s room, their room these days. He didn’t know how he’d fallen asleep every night without being able to hold her in his arms, and he didn’t know how anyone could expect him to again after being allowed the pleasure. Maybe after graduation, he could convince her to move in with him. Of course, he’d make it seem like it was her idea and put up initial resistance. But in the end, it wouldn’t matter whose idea it was, because he’d be able to hold her in his arms every night. For the hundredth time, Michael sympathized with Max. He wouldn’t be able to make it if he ever lost Maria.

With a quick knock, he pushed open her door, eyes scanning the room for her. With a frown, he noted that the room was empty.

“Maria?” He called out. Where the hell was she? He crossed to her bathroom and found it just as empty. Deep in thought, it took him a moment to notice the sheet of paper propped up on her pillow. Michael snatched at it, reading it greedily.

Michael,
Don’t be angry, but I’ve left. I woke up and didn’t like who I saw in the mirror. So, I’m off to kidnap Max. Don’t worry, we’re fine. And don’t let Isabel hunt us down just yet. Max and I need to work through a few things. Hopefully, we’ll be better friends for it. I love you.
Maria

Michael swore even as there was a knock at the door. Had he actually said he preferred impulsive Maria? A part of him hoped this kidnapping didn’t splinter the group even further. But somewhere deep inside, he knew that Maria was maybe the one who could get through to Max. None of them had even tried and he knew they had all taken the cowards way out.

The incessant knocking at the door made him turn towards it, swinging it open in frustration.

“Isabel? What’s wrong?” He ushered her inside quickly.

“Thank god you’re here! I’ve been trying to call you all day!”

“I was at the store. What is it?”

“Max is gone, Michael. I can’t find him anywhere. He was sleeping and when I went to check on him, he was gone. I’ve been all over town and there’s no sight of him. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Okay, first you need to calm down. I think I know where Max disappeared to.” He handed her Maria’s note and she read it quickly.

“Why the hell would she do something like that? We need to find them now. Who knows what she’s doing to him.”

“I would imagine she’s talking to him.” Something about Isabel’s tone of voice irked him. But he’d known her too long to take offense to her.

“You don’t understand, Michael. Max is at a difficult place right now. The last thing he needs is Maria hammering away at him.”

“First of all, you watch what you say about Maria. Second, Max isn’t the delicate flower you’re making him out to be. We’ve let him mope long enough.”

“What?” Isabel was stunned. If anyone would have taken her side, she was sure it would have been Michael. “How can you say that? God, you sound just like Kyle.”

“Well, maybe Kyle’s right. What have we got accomplished since Liz left? Nothing. Now, nothing against Liz, because I think she was right to leave town, but she is at the heart of all this. Since she left, Max has shut down.”

“Can you blame him? Look at what he’s been through this past year. What she put him through”

“Right, well look at what all of us have been through this past year. Let’s start with Liz, who found out Max was destined to be with Tess, so she gave him up. Then he pursues her only to have his future self come back in time to break them up. She pretends to sleep with Kyle, has to put up with us, and we were bastards to her, Isabel. Her reputation is ruined, her friendships at risk, and she did it anyway. Liz and Maria lost their best friend, who was murdered by one of us. And when Liz came to us, Max made everyone choose sides. I know you miss Alex, and I know Max misses Liz, but the rest of us were hurt too, Kyle and Maria most of all. And if Maria wants to get out of bed for the first time in months to go talk to Max, then I’m not going to stop her. It’s time we all started healing.”

Defeated, Isabel slumped onto the couch. That was almost identical to what Kyle had tried to tell her before. But she had ruined that friendship already, the only one she had left. “I can’t lose anyone else. I only wanted to help.”

Michael softened and knelt before her. “I know you did. But you have to stop now. We need to start looking for the Granolith again. Who knows how powerful it can be if the wrong people get a hold of it?”

“He’s absolutely right.”

Michael and Isabel looked up to find Max and Maria in the doorway. Isabel resisted the urge to run to Max and hug him tight. Maybe Michael was right. It was time for all of them to let go and move on.

Max stepped into the room, a large bundle of papers in his hands. Michael stood again and gave both of them a glance. “Everything okay here?”

Max nodded curtly. “It’s a work in progress.” He turned his head toward Maria and she smiled at him in agreement. They would be friends again someday.

“Maria and I talked and she made me realize that I’ve wasted too much time feeling sorry for myself. I can’t promise you that I’ll be a barrel of laughs, but I won’t go back to the person I have been the last few months. I owe each of you an apology for the way I’ve treated you. I know words can’t ever be enough, but I promise to be there for all of you no matter what.

Liz is gone and I can’t do anything to change that, or to make up the last year to her. But I can find my son and do everything in my power to give him a good chance at a life, whether that be here or on Antar. I don’t know what the next few months will hold, but they’ll probably be dangerous. I can’t even promise that when I find him, I’ll be able to stay on Earth. But I won’t ask any of you to come back with me. Liz was right. If she’d stayed, I wouldn’t have been able to make a choice between leaving her behind and possibly killing my son.” He looked around at the room’s occupants. “None of you have to help me. I’ll understand if I have to do this on my own, but I will do it. No matter what the cost.”

Maria nodded. “I’m in. I know I’m not much help, having no powers and all, but anything I can do, I will. It’s the least I can do for Liz.”

Max smiled at her in thanks. He didn’t deserve any support at all after all he’d put them through.

“If Maria’s in, I guess I’m automatically in too. Although, I may make you grovel for my forgiveness just for fun.” Michael grinned at Max, happy to have his old friend back again.

Max turned his gaze to Isabel. She turned sad eyes on him. “I owe you an apology too. I’ve been hovering, not letting you do what you needed to do. I was just so afraid of losing you too, I couldn’t stand it. Forgive me?”

Max leaned down to pull his sister into his arms. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. I love you, sis. And I may not have made it through those first few nights without you. So, no more crying, and no more apologizing, unless I’m the one doing it. We should call Kyle. Maria and I have been going over some of the more recent reports on the Granolith search.”

“Kyle isn’t interested.” Isabel spoke up quickly. “I talked to him already. He isn’t going to be coming to any more group meetings, or help us at all. He’s not on our side anymore.”

Max looked at Isabel in confusion. He thought the two of them had become friends. He would have to pull out what had happened, but not just yet. Some things were better left to sit for a few days and discussed with cool heads. “Okay, then let’s get down to business.” He started pulling out charts and satellite feeds, laying them out flat on the coffee table. “I think we need to do a bit more research first, but I think I have the location pinned down roughly.”

Finding Yourself
Part 15

The front door burst open and Jim Valenti rushed through, dropping his things at the door to make a beeline for the living room.

“Okay, who’s winning, Kyle?” He called out as he removed his Stetson from his head and stepped into the living room. He stopped short at the sight of his son sitting stoicly on the sofa. “Kyle? What’s wrong? Did they cancel the game?”

“No, I mean I guess not. I never turned it on.” Kyle ran his fingers through his hair. “What time is it?” But he really didn’t care.

Jim examined his son carefully. Kyle wasn’t watching the game? There was trouble here somewhere. “Are you okay?”

Kyle’s gaze remained riveted to the floor. “Did you ever want to leave Roswell, Dad? And give me a real answer, not a parent answer.”

Jim took a seat, getting comfortable. He had an idea where this was going and he wanted to feed his son a lie. But they had taken an oath after Kyle had discovered the truth to always be honest with each other no matter how hard it was. “Yeah, there was a time when all I wanted was to get the hell out of this town and never look back.” Jim sighed at the memory, the longing to flee his hometown. “But you have to remember that your grandpa was Sheriff back then. He’d spent his every waking moment searching for the truth about aliens. He was as obsessed as I was two years ago with Max Evans. But you have to remember that everyone thought Dad was as crazy as a loon. I didn’t have many friends and most of the kids considered it a kind of sport to pick on me. So, yeah, I was ready to forget this town ever existed.”

Kyle had raised his head to watch his father’s features. He’d never heard this story before. “What happened? Why didn’t you travel, see the world like you wanted to?”

Jim nodded. “I was planning to. I guess I was about your age, maybe a bit younger, but I’d been saving every penny, waiting until the day I had the courage to do it. But the old man found out about it somehow, and we had the fight of all fights. I stormed out of the house, waited until I thought he’d be asleep so I could sneak back in and get my things.” Jim paused, lost in the memories of that night. “When I got back to the house, it was lit up with squad cars. He’d had a stroke after I’d left. I knew then it was my fault just like I still know it today. I’d said terrible things to him, about him. Things were never the same after that. We just couldn’t forgive each other.”

Kyle looked at his father in a new light. He’d always known there was a rift between them, but had never suspected how old the scars were. “So, that was it? You stayed?”

“Yes and no. I told myself I’d stay for a year, finish school, keep an eye on the old man. It wasn’t long after that I met your mother. She transferred into town and she changed my whole world. We eloped the day after graduation. She loved this town.” Jim smiled at the memory of how her eyes would light up when she was excited. He still saw so much of her in Kyle. “Dad had another stroke and had to retire soon after. Your mom persuaded me to join the sherrif’s office, work my way up the ranks. She knew I’d always wanted to, but never could while Dad was Sheriff. She said this town was meant to be run by the Valenti men.”

Kyle sat in silence a minute, missing his mother like never before. She’d been dead ten years now, but the Valenti men hadn’t forgotten how warm her presence or how bright her smile.

“You want to find Liz, don’t you?”

“It’s not like that, Dad.” Kyle was quick to reassure him, but wasn’t that exactly what this was about?

“It’s okay, Kyle. I was waiting for you to come to me about this. Actually, I thought you’d have come to me a week after Liz left. You have too much of your mother’s heart in you to let a friend disappear like that.”

Kyle took a deep breath. “It’s more than that. Yes, I want to find her, but I think I want to join her too.” Kyle observed his father’s blank expression and knew he’d gone into interrogation mode. He wouldn’t give anything away.

“You want to find Liz and live with her? Leave Roswell for good?”

“Yes.” Just stick to the answer. Don’t elaborate and don’t squirm under that tense stare. Was it getting warm in there? With a swear, Kyle continued on. He never have been able to beat his father in a match of wills. “It won’t be so bad really. I was planning to leave home in a six months anyway for college. And I can just enroll in High School wherever Liz is.” He paused, not knowing if he was getting through or not. “Dad, I have this feeling that she needs me, needs a friend. And I need to get out of this town.”

“I’m sure she’s made new friends where she is.”

“But how can she talk about what’s really bothering her with people that don’t know the big secret? And if she can’t talk it through, how’s she ever going to work it out and be okay? You do care about her, don’t you?”

“Of course I care about her, Kyle.” Jim struggled to keep his calm. “But I care about you more. How are you planning to live? Paying rent and utilities are expensive. And when will you study?”

“I don’t even study now. Okay, bad joke. But I thought about the money. I still have the trust fund Grandma left me. I know it’s supposed to be for college, but I’ve been offered full scholarships at a dozen schools and I can take any one of them and still have some of the trust fund money to rely on. I’m not gonna go crazy, Dad. And I’m not going to run away in the middle of the night either. And as for studying, I’ll be with Liz. Remember her? Valedictorian? You think she’ll let me get away with not studying?”

Jim felt the weight of his many years. His son was grown up. When the hell had that happened? And how could he try to keep him here when he could see the desire burning in his eyes? “Are you only going for Liz?”

“No. I’d like to say I’m being completely noble and selfless, but I want out too. This past year was too much, with Tess lying to our faces. I actually saw her kill Alex, I helped load his body in our car. Starting over where no body knows you sound slike the best idea I’ve ever heard. Liz just thought of it first.”

“What about your friends here, Kyle? You don’t want to graduate with them?”

“What friends? In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have any besides the ‘I know an alien’ club. And they don’t really like me. They put up with me because I might come in handy, and so they’re closer to you.”

“What about Isabel? I thought you two were getting close.”

“Not anymore.” He still couldn’t think about Isabel. He’d really thought he’d found a kindred spirit in her. And maybe their paths would cross again someday, but he knew she wouldn’t want to see him for a while. And with her went his last friend in this town.

Jim ran a hand through his closely cropped hair. “This is crazy. You know that, right? You’re still in High School. You’re not even 18 yet.”

“Two weeks, Dad, and I’ll be 18. Besides, it’s just another day on the calendar to me. If I haven’t learned it yet, the odds are I’m not going to get any big life lessons in the next 2 weeks either.”

Jim cupped a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “You’ve grown up so fast. I’m sorry for that. You’ve learned lessons no one should have to know.”

“That’s not your fault, Dad. I don’t want to fight with you and I don’t want a rift like you and Grandpa have, but I feel like I have to do this. I’m the only one that can go help her anyway. It took me awhile to figure out why Liz didn’t say goodbye to Maria, why she hasn’t even written her yet. If Liz had told Maria she wanted to leave town by herself, Maria wouldn’t have wanted to let her leave alone, and she would have had to decide between her best friend and the man she loves. Liz knew that and never gave Maria the chance to be noble. Liz has always been there for every one else. Maybe together we can make sense of things, figure out who we want to be when we grow up.”

“How are you even going to find her? She could be anywhere by now.”

Kyle saw through his father’s bluff with a grin. “See, I was thinking you could just tell me where she was and save me the trouble of going through all the same legwork you already did to find her.”

“What makes you think I know where Liz is?”

“C’mon, Dad. This is me you’re talking to. The only reason I didn’t run off and find Liz to make sure she was safe was because I knew you’d already done it. You would never have let her disappear. In fact, I’d be willing to bet you’ve already talked to the local police and have them driving by her apartment to check up on her.”

“Only for the first few weeks she was gone. Damn it, what was I supposed to do? Let her disappear without a trace? What if something happened to one of you or her parents? What if someone had followed her?”

Kyle grinned at his father,, the softie. “I knew she was in good hands. So, how is she doing? I know you went to see her a few weeks ago, so don’t bother hiding it.”

Jim let out a short laugh. “My son, the detective.”

“I’m a Sheriff’s son. You can’t put anything past our kind.”

“You’re damn right they can’t.” He was ridiculously proud his son had figured him out so well. He would make a fine Sheriff himself one day. If he chose it, of course. He had sworn years ago to Lily that he wouldn’t push Kyle into his profession. “Yeah, I went to see her. She’s in a small town in Arizona, Flat Creek. She had all of her transcripts moved there. She has a small apartment, a step above a roach motel. She never saw me, but she seemed settled. I watched her take pictures of a group of kids in the park.”

“So, she’s okay.” Kyle couldn’t explain why that made him ridiculous happy and relieved.

“Kyle, she may not want to see you, or anyone from Roswell.”

“Or maybe she needs one of us and is afraid to call.”

“You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”

Kyle nodded. “I have to do this. I have to leave. But I need you to understand and support me on this.”

Jim forced himself to meet Kyle’s eyes, the eyes of a man. He had raised him well, and he was ready to leave the nest. He was so much like himself at that age, Jim had to grin. How could he deny his son this one request when he knew how burning that desire was? He could say no, keep Kyle in Roswell just as he’d had to stay. And they just might end up regretting it. With a terrible pain in his heart, he made his decision. “If you do this, there are two conditions.” He saw the eagerness leap into his son’s eyes and knew he was making the right choice. Sometimes, you simply had to trust and let go.

“Condition one, wherever you go, be it alone or with Liz, I want to know. I’m talking common sense stuff. If you move, tell me before I call a disconnected number. I want to be able to get in touch with both you and Liz if I need to. You can tell her she has my word that I won’t tell a soul where she is unless she tells me to. Second, if either of you ever get into any kind of trouble, human or alien, I want you to call me. Can you live with those terms?”

Kyle nodded vigorously. He had no fears about leaving this town behind, no trepidations. The only thing he was leaving behind was his father. But he knew they would never lose touch. He was really going to do this. An excitement built up within him at the thought. There was so much he wanted to see and do. Would Liz be willing to join him? He hoped so. He had a feeling she would make an excellent traveling companion and he couldn’t wait to start. “When?”

Jim had hoped to be able to talk him into staying until his birthday, but he looked ready to pack his bags now. “Give me a week to get all the paperwork together and get you enrolled in the High School. If you can get everything squared away at school and with your trust fund, we can plan on next weekend.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Kyle pulled his father into hug and didn’t even mind when he clung to him a minute longer than usual. “You could have said no or made it hard for me.”

“What would that have gotten me? I like it better this way. Now, c’mon, let’s figure out when you’re bringing with you. I think your room would make a great pool room.”

Finding Yourself
Part 16

Kyle managed to make it through the remainder of the weekend and a whole day and a half of school uneventfully. He had successfully been able to fill out all the paperwork necessary to transfer and had been wished well by al of his teachers as they signed their names to the documents that would grant him freedom.

His coaches had been a bit more difficult, as he was a star player on each team and he was leaving his football team in the middle of the season. He was also leaving vacant spots on the basketball and wrestling teams. Understandably, they were upset. But in the end, there was really nothing they could do. And they had written him glowing letters of recommendations for transfer onto another team.

And with each pen stroke, Kyle’s soul felt clearer. Everything had been taken care of. All that remained now was to face the people he had once thought of as friends, people that had gone out of their way to close ranks and exclude him from whatever it was they were plotting. He hoped for all their sakes that they were finally forming as a group again. And to be fair, he had gone out of his way to avoid them too. He hadn’t approached them and he had purposely spent his lunches in the busy quad, knowing they preferred the solitude of the bleachers to meet and plan.

But as the lunch bell rang and he headed for his usual spot, he cursed his luck. The entire gang was gathered in a deserted hallway, blocking his safe retreat. In a cowardly way, he hoped they continued to ignore him for the remainder of the week. Swearing at himself as to how crazy he sounded, he continued onward. Why was he afraid of them? Certainly not because he still cared about them. It had to be some other reason he couldn’t pinpoint.

Maria saw his path and broke away from her conversation with Michael. She’d been trying to find Kyle since Monday morning, but he’d been elusive. Isabel had told them they’d had a falling out and had asked not to include him in their meetings until she’d had a chance to apologize, but the rumors flying around were too insane to ignore. She met Kyle halfway, nervous though she couldn’t place why. Isabel began filing her nails, miffed that Kyle hadn’t tried to seek her out yet. How was she supposed to apologize if he was avoiding her? Max and Michael looked on with curiosity. They too had heard rumors around school.

“Hey, Kyle. I’m glad I found you. You wouldn’t believe the wild rumors flying around school. Pam Troy was saying you got in a fight with Coach Larson and he kicked you off the football team. But I know that’s crazy because you’re our only chance to beat the Devils in the big game next week. I told her so myself.”

Kyle smiled at Maria. Why had he been avoiding her? If he could count on no one else in Roswell, he could count on Maria, and by extension Michael he supposed. It was good to know who your lifelong friends were.

“That’s the best one I’ve heard so far. But it’s completely not true.” He watched her flash Michael an ‘I told you so’ smile, and he hated doing this to her. “Actually, I quit.”

Her eyes bulged. “You what? That’s crazy. Why would you quit right before the biggest game of the year? Go talk to Coach. He’ll understand. Just tell him you were on drugs and you were out of your mind.”

Despite the situation, Kyle’s grin widened. Had he thought he wouldn’t miss anyone? “Maria, it’s okay. There’s actually something I need to tell you. I’m leaving Roswell.”

Silence hung in the deserted hallway. “What?” Maria’s face was contorted by a mix of heartache and confusion. “You can’t leave Roswell. You belong here. And the Sheriff, what’s my mom supposed to do when he just picks up and leaves her?” Maria might not like the thought of them dating, but breaking her mother’s heart was out of the question.

“Dad’s staying here. I’m going by myself.”

“You’re going to find Liz, aren’t you?” Max spoke directly to Kyle for the first time in weeks.

“I already know where Liz is, but yes, that’s where I’m going.” Kyle forced himself to meet Max’s eyes, knowing he would find pain there. And frankly, it was getting old. He wasn’t the only one who had been hurt. When they met, Kyle found that Max’s eyes were still tortured, but not out of control anymore. Maybe they would be able to fix things here after all. But Kyle wouldn’t be around to see it. “Don’t worry, Dad will still be here to help you out.”

“To hell with your father, what about you? And Liz? How do you know she’ll even want to see you? What will you do then?” Isabel didn’t care that she wasn’t supposed to be talking to Kyle. He was leaving them too.

“That’s a chance I’m going to have to take. But I need out of here too.”

“When?” Maria wasn’t sure why she felt like she was going to cry again. She should be happy. Liz wasn’t going to be alone anymore. And no matter how stubborn her best friend was, Maria knew that Liz needed someone to talk to.

“Saturday. Look, let’s not make a big deal out of this. I’m not running away or anything. Dad will know where I am. And nothing will change for any of you. You don’t need me, you never did. You only put up with me because of Dad and because Tess used to drag me around everywhere. This really isn’t a big deal. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to finish up before I have to leave.” He pushed past them while he still could. Maybe he was leaving more behind than he’d convinced himself of.

The remainder of the day hadn’t gone much better. Somehow, word had leaked out that Kyle was transferring out of town and each class was filled with the well wishes of people he’d never talked to before. The sudden popularity surprised even him. He’d grown accustomed to popularity that stemmed from his sports abilities. But even this had become ridiculous.

He nearly bolted from class when the final bell rang, sprinting for the safety of his car. He was supposed to meet his father at the Crashdown for dinner and then he was free to spend another night packing, sifting through eighteen years of memories. He drove the short distance to the Crashdown and claimed a booth. He idly flipped through a menu as he waited for his father. He was probably still caught up in the burglary case. There wasn’t much real crime in Roswell, but when there was, Jim Valenti liked to sink his teeth into it.

A shadow fell across the table, and Kyle automatically flashed a smile, expecting his father to offer an apology for being late. Instead, he found himself looking up at the Parkers. Why the hell hadn't he thought about that?

“Mr. and Mrs. Parker, hi. I’m just waiting for my dad before we order.” Way to go, Valenti. He chided himself for sounding so lame. Why would they both come over to his table to take his order?

Nancy was wringing her hands, her eyes darting about nervously. “Kyle, we heard you were leaving town. Is that true?”

Kyle sighed and nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you-do you know-“ Jeff couldn’t figure out the best way to begin his sentence.

“Yes, I know where Liz is and I’m going to see her.” He took pity on the Parkers. They only wanted to know that their daughter was okay. “Look, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Dad has been checking up on her. He says she’s fine, safe. I just need to get out of this town too. I figured she could use a familiar face.”

Jeff nodded his head, having figured as much. “We know you won’t tell us where she is, but you’ll have to forgive us for asking. We lost our baby girl and we just want to hear her voice tell us she’s safe.”

Nancy pulled a creased envelope from her pocket and extended it towards Kyle. “Can you give this to her for us? At least she’ll know we’re not angry, that we miss her and love her and want her to come home.” She and Jeff had talked this through a hundred times. They could find her they knew. But she had specifically asked them not to, to give her the time she needed. And while they knew they had raised a strong and capable daughter, her heart was bleeding. And for the first time, they were powerless to help her. They also knew their daughter well enough to know she was stubborn and headstrong. And if they pushed her, she would run far away this time, and it might be years before they heard from her again, if ever. So, they had decided to wait her out, see what happened. But when news that Kyle Valenti was leaving town alone, they knew he would be going to find their daughter, and they had revised their plan.

Kyle nodded and took the envelope, not sure what to say.

Nancy pressed a hand to her mouth and fled the room, afraid she would do or say something that might cost her her daughter for good.

Jim came through the door in time to catch Nancy’s hasty departure. “She holding up okay?”

“Not really. Each day seems harder than the last. Look, Jim, I wanted to thank you for your help so far. Nancy and I knew you’ve gone above and beyond to keep an eye on Liz. It’s the only thing that’s kept us sane so far, knowing at least that she’s okay. And I just wanted to make sure you know what that means to us.”

Uncomfortable, Jim nodded. “Just doing my job.”

“No, you’re not, but thank you anyway. You’re always welcome here, and your money’s no good, both of you. Just so you know.” Jeff threw a last glance at Kyle. “Take care of her, and please ask her to call us.” Then he was gone, after his wife.

“I wish I knew I could have free food before I decided to leave town.” Kyle attempted humor, but it fell flat. The emotion weight of the letter he held was overpowering. He wondered how many times Mrs. Parker had folded and refolded the letter she had no doubt painstakingly written. Not wanting to think about it, he stuffed it in his pocket, turned to face his father. “Burglary case?”

Excitement jumped into Jim’s eyes. “You wouldn’t believe what they took. Oh, before I forget, keep Friday night open. I thought we could at least celebrate your birthday then.”

“Friday night. Got it.”

“Okay, so you know how the Phillips’ collect bird houses? You don’t kno