Finally Happy

By Withnail K

 

Category: M/M  

Spoilers: could be set anywhere after season one, to after the series ended, it’s all up to whoever’s reading it really…  

Disclaimer: Yes, I am a sad owner of nothing worth mentioning  

Authors note: very short fic, just my spin on things…

 

 

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Finally Happy

 

 

It’s a hot, sweltery night that smells like sweat and dank heat. The lithe blonde girl is swaying gently to the music that ricochets of the perspiring tin walls as she pours a beer expertly from the tap. With a flick of her wrist the stream stops. She hands the glass to a tall non-descript guy with glasses and a large black tattoo on each arm. “ Three fifty .” She says. He hands her the money, takes his beer.

 

Another transaction, another minute of her day.

 

She walks home, even though she knows the streets aren’t safe. She walks home because she likes the cool feel of the early morning air on her skin. She has class early tomorrow, then a gig tomorrow night with her band. It’s not instant fame, but it’s real and it’s doing things her way.

 

Something she never thought she’d do.

 

She does think about him, but it’s not the same now. She used to associate thoughts of him with a rancid heavy red stone of hurt in her chest, but the ache dulled, and then just went away.

When she thinks of him now it’s with a slight tinge of melancholy that’s a deep purple colour, like a bruise. Purple melancholy and a cool blue sense of relief. She escaped, she got out, she can be herself in her own world.

Liz will never have that.

 

She may be alone. When she wakes up in the night with an ache between her legs there is no one to take it away. When she’s sick there’s no one to bring her soup. When she’s tired and sick at the world there’s no one to wrap their arms around her. She doesn’t have someone to hold, to kiss, to curl up next to on the couch at night. She’s alone, all alone.

 

And she’s happy with that.

 

I know how she looks. She gave up on love and in a world of valentines and romantic comedies, and how can that be a good thing?

She left the man who still thinks about her, she turned her back on her one true love.

 

Only really, she didn’t. You may think she’s selfish, or stupid, or just plain fooling herself, but you see, she knows better.

 

She knows that she will never have someone tell her to shut up with a look of exasperation that cuts her to the core.

 

She will never feel someone flinch away from her touch again.

She will never watch the person who means the most to her go blank in the face when she’s talking about her day.

 

She will never be told something’s “more important then you and me and our stupid relationship” again when her whole world has been sliced open like a rotted carcass.

 

She won’t have to feel like she’s a mistake, an afterthought, dust clinging to the soles of his shoes.

 

Instead she feels brave, and loved, and capable of anything.

 

She sings in the shower, and she talks way too much

 

And most of all, she’s finally happy.