EVERYBODY`S GIRL 

By Kobe

Rating: R

Category: M&M and others, AU

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the alternative idea.

Summary: Maria de Luca was Liz Parker’s best friend. She was also the ex-girlfriend of Liz’s husband-to-be Max Evans and the groomsmen Alex and Kyle and most of their male friends in high school. How could the old-fashioned Michael Guerin deal with his feeling of love at first sight for this amazing girl who seemed to be everybody’s girl?

Author’s Note: Sorry for the errors.

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Part 1

Love At First Sight

He was running late. Max would kill him. But he was new in the city...so what does he expect? The least he could do was pick him up at his place...but no...he insisted that he would just have to drive alone because Liz needed him there very early. He was so whipped. A week from now and he could only imagine how it could get worse.

He smiled at the thought of the two together. He had met Liz on few occasions and he could say she is just the perfect girl for Max. Pretty, likeable and successful...they compliment each other. Looking at the road ahead, he noticed a red car at the side. He slowed down and there he saw a girl talking on the phone.

"I am so sorry. I just had to do it. So...please can you pick me up here or send one of the boys.........what do you mean they can’t.........Oh God, the next station is 2 miles up........."

Michael had stopped the car. Completely. Her beauty mesmerized him. She was ethereal...to him. If Kyle would be here now, he would say he was psyche. There is nothing striking about this girl, he would surely say. Actually, Kyle would line her up as one of those pretty but oh so plain girls gawking at him. But to him...it was as if now was the time to meet the girl of his dreams.

She was dressed casually...black pants with a white blouse that is at least a size bigger and with flat ladies shoes. Alex would not even take a second look. But it was her face that draws him to her. Her full lips that seem waiting to be kissed...her nose...her eyes behind her glasses, her flushed cheeks. She has long curls but they were swept up in a lose ponytail with some tendrils falling...making him want to tuck them behind her ears.

"What?" The girl asked with a nervous voice.

Michael blinked and realized that he had spaced out. He didn’t even remember getting out of his car. He was now actually standing before the girl and just looking at her. She must be very nervous as he can hear the tremble in her voice. She had stopped talking on the phone.

"I’m sorry...I...I saw you all alone here and I just thought..." Michael was at a loss for words. He was so mesmerized by her eyes. "Do you need any help?"

The girl eyed him with slight fear. "My friends are coming for me." She said without much conviction and Michael knew she was lying.

"Look...I know this place is deserted and me just stopping and all is freaking you out. But I’m not a bad person or a rapist or a psycho killer that would just dump you over a cliff after I had my way with you...or leave you at my trunk for you to..." Michael stopped. What was he saying? From the look on her face...it was not obviously helping.

"I’m fine. I’ll just have to wait for a minute maybe. They were already near here." She managed to sound a little convincing there. He could see she was trying to be brave and the slight fear he sensed earlier had started to surface down if not already gone. She seemed so ready to fight for her life if the need arise.

"OK...maybe I can take a look at your car." He turned his back on her and started towards the front of her car. He wanted to show her that he was not who she seemed to think he is.

"No... please...it would give you a headache!" There is a hint of fear again in her voice.

"It’s OK...I have a problem car in my growing up years so...I can handle whatever headache it would give me." Michael smiled at her.

Michael takes a look and immediately knew what caused the problem. "Your car over-heated. You don’t happen to have water in your trunk, do you?"

"I was in a hurry."

They both turned as they heard a car approaching.

"I guess your friends are here." He said rather sadly. He didn’t even get her name. "By the way, I am..."

"Oh God..." The girls face tensed and he saw the panic in her eyes. Michael had never seen someone moved so fast. She opened her car door, grabbed a small bag there, slammed the door and locked it and caught his hand as she quickly sprinted to his car.

"Come on...please hurry before he noticed us." She was very scared obviously.

Michael started his car and drove away from there. He can see the girl clutching tightly on her small bag. She kept looking at the side view mirror. When a silver car passed them, she heaved a sigh of relief.

"Can you please slow down, now?" She requested.

"Sure." Anything for you, Michael thought. She never said anything after that. He let her. At least he knew she is not afraid of him anymore.

"Thank you." She said not looking at him.

"You’re welcome." He glanced at her but turned his eyes back to the road. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Silence filled the car again. Michael thought of something to say but can’t come up with anything. Here was the only girl who can make him feel like anything he had never felt before and he can’t even start a conversation with her. Kyle would be laughing in the floor right at that moment if only he is there. They were always teasing him about his dream girl simply because when they asked him what she looked like, he can’t picture her out. He would always say he would just know when he got to meet her. And now, he had. And he can’t do anything about it. He was at a loss for words.

No one in his circle of friends believes in love at first sight. How could they? They have been with so many women they can’t even remember who was their first. He was not totally innocent in the sexual field but at least he can actually remember who he had it with first and he can vividly remember what they did.

Max had at least a dozen girlfriends before he met Liz. To say it was strange, Max was actually dating Liz’s best friend before they finally get to notice each other. Kyle would still be chasing women now if he didn’t knock down Tess and got her pregnant. Alex is another story. He said he doesn’t believe in love, but what was he doing with Isabel for the past 3 years? They said he was weird but the truth is, it was them that were acting weird. Except of course, Max...he was really in love with Liz this time. He just hopes nothing will turn out wrong. He said Liz asked her best friend to be her maid of honor. He was shocked...she was Max’s ex-girlfriend and he knew he was not just another girl with Max. He still remember how Max described her...perfect girlfriend. He didn’t really tell what went wrong with them.

"You can drop me off at that station." He was brought back to the present by the sound of her voice.

"I can take you to where you are going." He is not yet ready to let go of her. He had to know everything about her.

"No...I have troubled you enough. I can call here and my friend will pick me up, really. I guess the chapel is not far from here." She finally smiled.

Michael felt as if he had gone to heaven. That was only her smile. What would happen to him if she touched him? Oh God...he was already having a hard on. He was snapped back to reality by the word Chapel.

"Hope Chapel?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes...how did you know?" She asked surprise.

"I am going there myself." He actually could worship Max and Liz even if they would kill him for being so late.

"Wedding?" She asked and suddenly became worried. "You’re not the groom, right?" He saw her licked her lips as she took in his appearance.

Michael had to restrain himself from jumping her. What is this girl doing to him? He believes in love at first sight...he was actually anticipating and waiting for it to happen to him. What he didn’t expect was the reaction it would get out of him sexually. Right now, he would promise his soul to the devil just to have a taste of her lips.

"It’s a rehearsal, actually. And no...I’m not the groom. I'm the best man." He said rather tightly. Can she tell what effect she was having on him?

Her eyes widen in excitement. "Don’t tell me...Max and Liz?"

"Yes..." Michael stammered. He felt something he can’t explain. Oh God...please...please don’t let it be her...please.

She smiled and held out her hands. "I am the maid of honor...Maria de Luca."

Michael felt as if the whole world fell on him. NO! He had waited for this moment...the moment he will meet the girl that he would fall in love with. He was right. He would just know when it is she. And it is she, he was sure. This girl in his car is the one. But why does it have to be Maria de Luca?

Maria de Luca...the name he would never forget in his lifetime. She was the girl his roommates, Kyle and Alex, has always been talking about. They went with her in the same high school. Both of them were her ex and half of their male friends in high school. They never speak ill of her but from what those two are capable of, based on their sexual escapades during high school, he would say that Maria was far from innocent before she even finished high school. When those two spoke of past girlfriends in a good manner, it only meant one thing: the girl is great in bed.

When they graduated from College and separated ways, they still keep in touch. He can still hear her name being mentioned by his friends especially when Max met her and started dating her. He became another Maria fan even after they broke up and he dated Liz. And Max, referring to Maria as the perfect girlfriend only means one thing...she is perfect in all aspect of the relationship.

And now here she is...in person. His dream girl. The girl he can spend his life forever is the same girl he personally refer to as "Everybody’s Girl". This can’t be right. His dream girl is pure and innocent...he will be the one to bring her to heaven...to teach her everything about groans and moans while he worshipped her body. How can this be? Michael saw his dreams shattered before his very eyes.

He looked at her outstretched hands waiting for him to be clasped around his. And he did. As soon as his hands touched hers, Michael knew. He knew it would take all of his strength and courage and will power to turn his back on his shattered dreams.

Part 2

Avoiding Maria

They arrived at the chapel and their mutual friends were already waiting for them outside. Maria was out the passenger door as soon as he stopped the car. The next thing he saw was Maria being hugged by Kyle with Alex next in line and Max waiting patiently with smile on his face. Liz was also smiling at the scene before her. Isabel and Tess were at her side also enjoying the reunion.

"Maria! Wow...I missed you. How are Dad and Amy?" Kyle asked letting go of Maria to look at her face.

"Oh...they’re fine. Still horny, if you’d like to know."

All of them laughed. Michael felt out of place. Kyle noticed and updated him.

"My Dad and Maria’s Mom finally decided to get married last month. So you see, Maria is the only one who has enough courage to visit them." Kyle winked at Maria.

Michael nodded and smiled a little. So...they were stepbrother and stepsister now. He tried to look away when Alex enveloped Maria in a tight embrace.

"How’s my best friend? I bet something really important happened for you to dress like that. And here I was...anticipating a very sexy Maria gracing this small church." Alex laughed and joined again by the others.

"It’s a long story. Michael here is my knight in shining armor." Maria informed them looking back at Michael and smiling at him.

Michael’s heart surge with joy but he tried not to show it. He had to forget he ever met her. They are not for each other. She didn’t meet his standards. She is not the one he is waiting for. He smiled politely and left the group outside. He had to put a distance between them.

********************

The rehearsal went well for everybody except for him. He realized that he would be staying close to Maria during the whole ceremony. Aside from that, he was informed that they were all be going to Maria’s place that night for dinner. It was like a getting to know each other before the wedding...which he knew was not totally necessary since they all knew each other pretty well. Why would it be necessary to have that party when the whole entourage will have a dinner party the following day? He could bail out...they can have the party at Maria’s without him.

"Hi!" He didn’t see her approached him.

Michael nodded and smiled politely.

"I didn’t get to thank you properly for saving me back there. So thank you." She sat beside him.

Michael tried to steady his racing heartbeat. He is finding it difficult to breath. "Who is the guy?" He asked curiously.

"A very persistent suitor. I turned him down again and again but he kept on coming back. Now he is stalking me. I had to change my dress style and use my old car just to get rid of him for a while. Wherever I go, he will be there. I just want this day with my friends free of worry and look what I got myself into." Maria sighed.

"Maybe you should report him to the police." He suggested.

"As if they would pay attention. He would just say he’s my boyfriend and we had a fight and he was trying to get me back and presto...he’ll be scot-free." Maria leaned back on her seat.

Michael fought the urge to run his hands on her now loose hair. She got rid of her ponytail during the rehearsal, as well as the eyeglasses and she looked much more beautiful. Hating himself for feeling that way, he suddenly blurted out. "Or maybe you just want to be stalked."

"What?" She sat up straight giving him a frown.

Michael wanted to kick himself. "Nothing." Standing up and fingering his keys, he said goodbye to everyone. "I got to go. I have an appointment in an hour. I’ll see you all tomorrow night."

"What about tonight? We had it all planned last week." Alex asked.

"Sorry...I got a call from a client. We need to discuss some designs I sent him." He lied not looking to anyone in particular.

"I didn’t hear your phone or your pager." Kyle voiced his observation.

"It was before I came here." He lied again. Not good. Now he is a liar.

"Pity. This was the only time that you can get to know Maria." Max supplied and the others nodded their heads.

Michael simply shrugged his shoulders and turned away from the group. "I really got to go. See you all tomorrow."

He almost ran to his car. What is happening to him? He wanted to get out of there but the urge to stay and be with Maria is just so hard to ignore. He stood for a while beside his car clearing his head. He was startled when he heard her voice.

"Did I do or say something wrong between the gas station and this church that has offended you?" Maria asked him directly.

He turned to face her and almost forgot to breathe when he saw her flushed cheeks and her eyes full of confusion. She is really beautiful.

"No...why would you think that?"

"Because you are avoiding me since we got here. I just want to know why." She approached him in his car.

"Not all men will fall at your feet. Does it really bother you that some men are immune to girls like you?" He should really kick himself. Why was he being mean to her? It is not her fault that he had fallen in love with her.

Maria’s eyes flashed with anger. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Michael opened his car door and positioned it in between them. "Look...I really have to get going..."

"No you don’t." Maria pulled on his arm hard and slammed his car door shut. "What do you mean by that remark?" He can see that she was really mad.

"I don’t mean anything by it." He raked his hands on his hair and faced her with an irritating look. He was irritated to himself for having feelings for this girl that he can’t control.

"You know what...I thought you were different. I thought I finally met someone who helps girls in distress no matter what her looks are. I have been out there for half an hour and nobody stopped to help me out. Then you came and I freaked out...I thought you are a psycho because...because you looked at me as if I am the most beautiful creature you have ever seen. And you helped me...no questions asked and you respect my decision not to talk about it. I am very, very grateful for what you did. That was why I was so puzzled by the way you are avoiding me ever since we got here. And all those remarks...God! What am I missing here? Tell me what I said wrong or what I did wrong to deserve those nasty remarks you’ve thrown my way." She asked with so much exasperation.

Michael stared at her not knowing what to say. He didn’t mean to be a jerk but the feelings she was able to evoke from him is what making him act like one.

"You were...wrong." He finally was able to say. He opened his mouth again to speak but closed it again. What would he say? That he was angry because he finally met his dream girl but it turned out that she is just the girl and not the dream? That he was so confused on how to handle his feelings because even though she turned out to be not the dream, he still wanted her? That every minute he spent in her presence makes him love her more?

He saw her looked at him with disappointment. "Fine...I finally got my answer." She looked down for a while as if composing herself and looked up. "Thank you anyway. Maybe someday I’ll be able to help you out like what you did for me." And she turned away...away from him.

********************

Staying away was difficult especially if what he really wanted was to be on her side always. His friends even make it worse. They all call asking what is wrong with him. They won’t stop bugging him. Alex strode in his apartment the next day after he missed the whole entourage’s dinner party. He was asking for an explanation. He can’t give him one. So Alex left him shaking his head still not knowing what was wrong with him. But not before telling him that he really missed a lot not knowing Maria. That if he had taken the time to be with them the last two nights, he may have been lucky to have Maria helped him with his problem, which probably he can tell is problem of the heart. And that left him thinking. So...what does that make her? A love counselor?

He tried to stay away but he can’t. And he just found himself following her...in hiding of course. Not only did he became a liar...he was now officially a stalker. He followed her everyday...the joy of being a freelance architect...no boss, just an agent whom he can handle so easily. Now he knew her routine. She goes to her own music school everyday...she is a music teacher and her students ranged from kindergarten to teenagers. She teaches piano and voice lessons. After work, she meets with one or two of her friends in a restaurant or a bar. He saw her with Kyle and Tess the other night and with Isabel and Alex the next night. The following day, he saw her meet with Max and after some time. Liz joined them. He can see how happy she is with them. And he can also see that there is no tension in the group. They are so at ease with each other.

He saw her transform from a plain-clothes girl he met the first day to an extremely gorgeous and sexy girl he had ever met. But it didn’t really matter...whatever she wears, she would always be a beauty in his eyes. He saw how men turn their heads to stare at her and how she hated it. He saw how Alex would put his arms on her shoulders to pacify her with Isabel holding her hand. He can see that she is closer to these two. Why would she be angry if men stare at her? Isn’t it flattering for her?

His plan to forget her flew out in the air. He cannot simply forget and stay away. Although he is still not sure of where this would lead, he knew one thing for sure...he will apologize to her tomorrow at the wedding. He would find the courage to walk up to her and talk to her. She may be everybody’s girl before...but maybe...just maybe...she can be his girl from now on?

Part 3

Being Perfect

"Maria, where is my tux jacket?" Kyle asked worriedly.

"It’s on the chair beside the bed in the next room." She told him while she continues looking for Alex’s shoes in the closet.

Michael watched her took care of everything. She was supposed to be with the girls but one call from Alex and she was already there, dressed in her gown and ready for the ceremony.

"I found it! Alex...come here and put this on now. God! What did you do last night? You should have prepared all these then." She pulled Alex and let him sit on a chair and gave him the shoes. She then strode in front of him and with her hands on her hips, asked him. "Any problem?"

He swallowed hard. "You look wonderful."

She shook her head and burst out laughing. "OK...you do have a problem. Go to the bathroom and get whatever medicine you think can help you get rid of that headache. And I think that wrist corsage you’re holding is for Isabel. So...where’s Max?" She had gone looking for Max before Michael can say another word.

"I guess you should do what she told you unless you want her coming back in here and taking you there herself." Alex advised him while checking himself on the wall mirror.

Michael smiled...not a bad idea. They were both startled when Maria came back dragging Max to sit on the bed.

"What do you mean you think this is not a good idea? Max...this is yours and Liz’s wedding day. You love her...you want to spend the rest of your life with her!" Maria walked to the windows and leaned back there looking at Max sitting on the bed.

"I am scared! What if she realized I am not the one she really wanted to be with? Then it would be too late to back out because we are already married. What if she found out that I am not the perfect man she believed me to be?" Max asked in an anguish voice.

"And here I thought only girls have wedding jitters." Alex teased from beside Max.

"Alex! You’re not helping." Maria scolded. "Max...nobody is perfect. We all have flaws in our character and when you love a person, you will love everything about him or her including all flaws."

"But you are perfect. When we were together..."

"I am not perfect, Max...and you know it. Nobody is perfect...you, Liz, Kyle, Alex, Isabel, Tess, Michael...no one. We became perfect when one sets a certain standard and we meet each of those. But nobody can be perfect in all aspects...there will always be something rough on the edge. It depends on the person to accept those rough edges and that helped make the relationship near perfect." Maria explained.

Michael stood there looking at Max. Why is he having second thoughts?

"Why did we break up?" Max asked softly.

"Max...think of Liz. She is waiting there for you. You are to profess your love for each other in front of witnesses."

Michael knew that Maria heard what Max asked but that she chose to ignore it. In as much as he also wanted to know why, he also knew that this was not the time to discuss that.

"Why did we break up?" Max asked again in a louder tone.

"Max...I don’t think..." Michael was about to talk to Max but Kyle beat him to it.

"Because you cheated on her...you bastard! You cheated on her with Liz, her best friend. You know what this is all about, Max? You are afraid of what will happen..." Kyle shouted at Max’s face.

"Kyle! Stop it! That was over and done with. We all moved on from it..."

"No...you have moved on from it but Max is still harboring the secret, don’t you Max? You still haven’t told Liz the truth. That is why you are so afraid to go through with this. You are so scared that once Liz knew what really happened, she will leave you." Kyle finished what he was saying.

"What??!!" Alex and Maria asked with shock written all over their faces.

Max face was so pale, Michael thinks he is going to faint. This is unbelievable, he thought.

"Max...what were you thinking keeping that from Liz?" Alex asked him angrily. "And you waited until this day to think about what will happen?"

"I don’t know. I can’t. Everything is fine with all of us and I know you won’t tell her so...so I thought maybe it could remain a secret forever. But since last night, it kept on bugging me. I can’t think straight." Max said trying his best to explain himself.

"Max...you should have told her a long time ago. You told me you will. We both know that it was not the real reason why we are not together now. However horrible that may sound, it's about you cheating on me with my best friend - that was just an icing on the cake. You know we will eventually break up; we were just too comfortable in the relationship that we can’t find the right words to stop it. You keep saying I am perfect but I’m not...because what was lacking in me, you found in Liz. And I don’t blame you, Max...never did I blame you."

Max looked at Maria. "You don’t?"

"I am sorry to tell you this again, Max but all those years we were together...I didn’t really love you. I was just there for you because you needed someone to help you get on with your life. You needed someone to lean on and I was there and you know it. We helped each other, Max. We are friends. There are no hard feelings between us."

Maria smiled at him. "Now...what you have to do is go there at Liz. Tell her everything. You cannot marry her while you are keeping that secret from her. I know she will forgive you."

Max frowned and suddenly looked worried and afraid. "But she might call off the wedding."

"Or she might not. Max...you were having second thoughts a while ago because of your guilt...what difference does that make? You let it gone too far...you waited until this day...if she calls off the wedding, that’s the price you have to pay. It’s your choice, Max. Tell her now or start your marriage life with secrets." Maria shrugged her shoulders at Max.

********************

Michael looked sideways at Maria who hasn’t said a word since they drove off. He volunteered to take her home. Maybe she really didn’t care who takes her home or she was just so tired to protest.

"You are quiet." He commented.

"What is there to say?" She asked.

Michael thought of that. He had so many things to say. The question is if she is interested in listening.

"I’m sorry..."

Maria turned her head and looked at him questioningly. "For what?"

"For the way I acted last week at the rehearsal. I know I was rude and that..."

"No...please...don’t sweat it out. I have already forgotten it." She gave him a smile.

"You are so forgiving..."

"Nah...I just over react last time. You said you didn’t mean anything by it...so I’ll just take your word for it. And besides you are a friend of my friends...so...just forget about it." Maria turned back observing the view outside.

Michael stayed silent until they reached her place. He stopped the car and as he was climbing off to help Maria out, she felt her tug at his arm.

"You don’t have to go out. I can let myself in. Thanks for the lift."

"I promised Alex I would see you home...it means I have to see you go inside. Come on..."

He eased himself out of the car and quickly reached around at her door and opened it for her. He took hold of her elbow and helped her out.

"I didn’t realize you were such a gentleman." Maria teased him.

Michael simply smiled and walked her to her door.

"Thanks...Michael. I’ll see you around I guess. They told me you just moved so I think we’ll see more of each other. That is if you will be hanging out with them. I know you are closer to Max and now that..."

"You will definitely see more of me." Michael quickly said.

"Well then...see you around." She took her keys out of her purse and turned towards her door.

"Do you think they made the right decision? I mean Max and Liz?"

"I think so. They both wanted it. I won’t worry about them if I were you. Their happiness lies on their hands and if they really loved each other, they will overcome whatever comes their way." Maria smiled and turned her key. Opening her door, she stepped inside and looked at him. "Goodnight, Michael and thanks again."

"Yeah, good night. See you..." He didn’t move from his spot, he was waiting for her to close the door. And as she did, he still stood there staring at her closed door.

After some time, the door opened and he saw Maria with a worried frown. "Are you OK? You seem to be lost in your thoughts."

"Yes...I’m fine. Sorry...I’ll go now." He turned and walked back to his car knowing that Maria is watching him. When he heard the door close again, he looked over his shoulders. He needed some words of advice on how to get close to Maria de Luca. He had to get close to her. Now more than ever, he needs to have a talk with Alex and Kyle. Maybe with Max, later on. One step at a time. Everything has to be perfect.

Part 4

Knowing Maria

Michael had already finished his first cup of coffee when Isabel joined him and Alex at the table. They had just finished their lunch together.

"How do you find your new surroundings? Does it live up to your expectations?" Alex inquired of Michael.

"I actually like it. Of course, one of the nicest things here is that all of you are just several minutes’ drive away. This is what I miss when I was living at the other side of the country." Michael answered.

"Have you visited Max?" Isabel asked.

"Once but we didn’t talk much. I guess he feels awkward discussing it with me since I don’t know anything about it. He never told me about that." Michael was thankful Isabel opened up the topic. He didn’t know how to ask about it without being obviously nosey.

"I guess Liz did the right thing. She didn’t deny the fact that she is still in love with him but Max had to gain her trust again before they really commit themselves to marriage. It was just...you know...how can I say it?" Isabel looked at Alex for an appropriate word.

"Kind of messy, I think. Just imagine giving back the gifts...canceling the reception...explaining to the guests why...it was also kind of humiliating on both sides." Alex commented.

"It was all Max’s fault. He should have told Liz right after he and Maria broke up. I’m sure Liz would have understood at that time. Maria would have even helped him explained it to her. But he told Maria he’d take care of it. Now...look what happened, he and Liz are miserable and Maria, even though she won’t admit it, felt somewhat responsible for the cancelled wedding." Isabel said in dismay.

"Why would Maria feel responsible? The night I took her home, she said the two would be all right...that they both wanted it to be that way...for a while I can guess from what she said. And I don’t think she felt any guilt at all...not that she should. If I were to be asked, whichever way or angle you look at it, I guess she was the wounded party at that situation then." Michael thought that needed to be said.

"She’s just being Maria...always taking the blame. She believed she is cursed and everything that turns out wrong is because of her." Alex explained. "Oh, and speaking of Maria. I have to go now and pick her up."

"She just called. She said that she’s not going anymore." Isabel told him before he can grab his keys.

"Did she say why?" Alex asked a little worried.

"Just give her time, Alex. She had to do that on her own. We can’t keep on pushing her if she thinks that is not what she needed." Isabel looked worriedly on Michael.

"I totally disagree. She needed to talk to someone." Alex grabbed his keys but stopped as he heard the tone of Isabel’s voice.

"We have an appointment in an hour, Alex. We can’t cancel and I know you wanted to help her but I think the best thing we can do right now is leave her for a while. She goes to us when she really needs us. Just let it be." Isabel said with finality.

"I'm sorry. I guess you’re right." He sat down again and smiled. "Why don’t you go prepare yourself and we’ll go?"

Isabel excused herself from Michael and went to their bedroom. As soon as she was out of earshot, Alex turned to Michael.

"Are you doing something after this?"

"Not really. I’m just heading back home. Why?" Michael hoped he was right in what he was thinking.

"Can you drop by at Maria’s and see if she is alright?"

"Is there something I should know before I go there?" Michael asked thanking God that he was right.

"It is not really my story to tell but I am just worried about her. You and I have been friends for a long time and I know you are good at this kind of thing...you know...taking one’s mind off problems. Maria just needed someone to talk to...keep her mind off what happened to Max and Liz...or talk about it with someone. I suggested for her to meet her shrink but you heard what Isabel said...she is not going to. And I don’t want to fight with Isabel about this because one way or another, Maria would know and she would blame herself again. It’s just that she is my best friend and I can’t let her go on solitude again because of Max and Liz. That would never do her any good."

"Does it create tension between you and Isabel knowing that Maria is your ex-girlfriend and you seem to still care for her?" Michael seized the opportunity to know more about Alex’s relationship with Maria.

"No...it’s nothing like that. I and Maria...we never really dated in that sense."

"But I remember you and Kyle telling me that she was a great girlfriend." Michael told him with a confused look.

"She is actually my best friend during high school. I am the first person she trusted and afterwards Kyle. I am used to taking care of her...you know away...from boys. I am officially her first boyfriend without the making out part. That was too gross...I saw her like a sister. But in the eyes of the whole school, she is my girl at that time. I ward off boys away from her for a while as it turned out and she ward off girls away from me. We were a team. We pretended we broke up because Kyle needed a favor. He wants to make some girl jealous and so asks Maria to act as his girlfriend. And so she did...without the making out part again although Kyle tried once which earned him 2 black eyes, one from her and one from me. We both consider her our best girlfriend as you heard us talking about her the whole time we were roommates. She met Liz during college and they became best friends. I never lost contact with her even when I met Isabel and I am so glad Isabel saw her as a very good friend also. We just have disagreements on how to take care of Maria sometimes."

"Why do you have to take care of her? Is she sick or something?"

"I can’t tell you. It is very personal but I know you can help her now by just you know...hanging out with her. She is a good girl, Michael...you might have thought otherwise considering how you heard us talk about her changing boyfriends every now and then while we were in high school. We didn’t encourage her that time but we supported her because she needed to prove something to herself. Unfortunately, up until now she hasn’t found the proof she has been craving for all these years. That is why I am afraid for her. I don’t want her to be by herself...she might go into depression. It never happened before but almost always, she is on the brink of it. You are good with people, Michael. You know how to say the right words at the right time."

"You are wrong. We didn’t really started on good terms. I was rude to her the first time we met." Michael admitted shamefully.

"Are you kidding? Maria has only good words for you. And I know you; you always think you have offended some people when it was really nothing. I think that was what happened between you two."

"No...I was really rude to her."

"Well...I say don’t worry about it. Maria considered you a friend already. And I guess talking to you will do her good since she knows you don`t know anything about her. Just don’t let slip anything...for now. Maybe someday, when she already can treat you as someone that can be trusted, you both can spill each other’s secret." Alex relaxed but seemed to remember something. "Oh and by the way, don’t be too open with her about your dream girl...she is a little sensitive on that subject."

"You told her?" Michael asked worriedly. Damn.

"Well...she asked about you, and Kyle was so willing to tell her about your so-called idealistic views. And I guess it’s all right...It was never a secret. You are so vocal about it so I think there’s nothing wrong about it. I just think you should not rub it into her especially now. Actually, it was just a precaution, I don’t think she will even mention it unless you do...that’s why I told you in advance."

"Why is she sensitive about the topic?"

"Michael...every girl would be sensitive about that topic. That’s male chauvinism...double standard approach. It was fine if a guy is not a virgin but for girls it’s a must? No wonder you are not into a relationship. Who would want to have a relationship with a guy who will eventually drop them dead as soon as he meets the girl of his dreams? No one Michael, not even with a guy as straight as you." Alex sighed. "So...will you help me? Would you go keep her company for a while?"

"Do you think she will let me in?"

"One thing I can assure you...Maria will never turn away a friend. And you are a friend, Michael." Alex smiled and went to tell Isabel to hurry up.

********************

"Hi!"

"Hi...Michael! Are you sure you are in the right place?" She asked him hesitantly although she is smiling.

"I was in the neighborhood and I thought...I’ll come by and...say hi." He said finding it difficult to concentrate when all he can think about is how beautiful she is.

"And who’s neighbor was it?"

"No one you know I think."

Maria smiled again and gestured for him to enter. Michael felt very nervous. He looked around her house and finds everything in order. She would make a very good housewife. Michael swallowed. Why was he thinking that? He is here to be a friend...the courtship will come later on. Oh yes...he will definitely court her and erased the image Alex and Kyle had already drawn of him. He had said goodbye to his dream girl because Maria is the one. The only one.

"So...what can I give you?" Maria asked him when he seated himself on her sofa.

"You."

"Come again?"

"Oh...I mean...you...it’s on you...whatever you have there." Michael suddenly felt embarrassed.

"Are you OK, Michael? You seem to be in a daze every time we meet."

"I’m fine...actually I’m more than fine." Since I met you, he thought. And he will do everything to make it stay that way.

********************

Weeks...months passed...and Michael became a constant person in Maria’s life. A very good friend...second to Alex. He is making his way fast to rank first.

He slowly moved towards Maria since he can’t find the brand of milk she usually buys. They have been doing her grocery together the last few weeks. He stopped in his tracks as he saw her trying to blow off a guy.

"Why can’t you accept NO for an answer? I told you I am not interested." It was apparent that Maria is trying to keep her voice down.

Michael approached the two and casually draped his arms around Maria’s shoulders. "Is there a problem here?"

The man eyed Michael and his arms on Maria carefully. He then turned to Maria.

"I didn’t know you were attached." The man frowned.

"He is..." Maria looked at Michael not knowing what to say.

"Now you know. So..." Michael deliberately hang on to his word gauging the man’s reaction.

"Hey...I didn’t know. Maybe your girlfriend is not proud of you that’s why she didn’t say anything about you. Or maybe she just wants the feeling of being stalked..."

"You son of a bitch..." Michael hit the man before anyone can react. "Stay away from her."

The man lost his balance but regained it pretty quickly and was back and also hit Michael. Before Maria knew it, the two are engaged in an open fight. It took three of the grocery staff to pull them out of each other’s range.

********************

"You shouldn’t have done that, Michael. I can take care of myself." They were back in her house and Maria was cleaning his face.

"He's been stalking you for months, Maria and this is the first time I got the chance to put him on his place. I would have done that earlier if given the chance. And someone should take care of you." Michael said while looking at her face, which was a mere inch away from him.

Maria was also caught up in his gaze. Her hands stroking his face unconsciously. Slowly, Michael brought his lips against her. He felt her stiffened but continued on his purpose. Suddenly, they were savoring the feel of each other’s lips. They were so caught up in the moment. His hands went to her waist and he pulled her in his lap bringing her closer to him. He heard her moan through her lips and that urged him to deepen the kiss further. His hands are now running up and down her back while her hands are caught up in his hair.

They didn’t hear when the front door opened.

"Maria! I brought this for you..." Alex yelled and stopped abruptly as he saw the scene in front of him. Michael and Maria kissing and their hands are all over each other..

The two broke the kiss and stood up immediately with Maria obviously blushing while Michael stood there calmly.

An awkward silence filled the room. Maria was the first to break it. "You’ve brought your old guitar."

"I told you I would. You need to replace the strings though. I hope you have a spare so I can put them now." Alex tried to sound casual but his voice is betraying him.

"I’ll go get it." Before Alex can reply, Maria had already gone in her room.

He turned back to Michael who was calmly observing them. "When I asked for your help, I didn’t realize you would use it to your advantage." Alex said with hatred.

"I am not taking advantage of her." Michael replied firmly.

"It seems to me you are. Don’t play with her...Michael. Just go and leave her alone."

"You’re not her keeper. She is old enough to know what she is doing. And I am not playing with her."

"Really? She is not your dream girl, Michael. And you will just hurt her with that truth. And I will forget you are my friend and will kill you before you hurt her." Alex warned him.

Michael raked his hands through his hair. It was bad enough that he can’t find a way to tell Maria about his feelings, and now Alex was here threatening him. What happened earlier...the kiss...was a break through. If Alex hasn’t come, they could have been talking about feelings now. He is sure that he and Maria can solve the issue by themselves. It may take a while proving himself but he will be patient enough to wait for her. But having all their friends bugging him now would really be a problem. And he knew...in no time at all...each one of them would be giving him a visit.

Part 5

Convincing Maria

Kyle paced back and forth in front of Michael. His face is in a deep frown. He stops once in a while to look at Michael and continue on with his pacing. Finally, he stopped and sat down beside him.

"I wanted to believe you, Michael. I saw you two together and I can say you both looked happy and carefree. But you would surely hurt Maria if one day you realized you haven’t really given up your dream girl. I cannot just watch you do that, Michael. Alex is right. You should just go and leave her now while the feelings are not yet deep."

"I am in love with her, Kyle. The first moment I saw her I know she is the only one for me." Michael said softly. "Asking me to leave her alone now is just like telling me to have no life at all."

"Michael..."

"I don’t care about my dreams anymore." Michael added.

"How could you say that? It’s been your dream for like forever. How can you be sure you wouldn’t leave her when your right dream girl comes along?"

"She’s the right one for me, Kyle. Do you know how long it took me to decide whether she is worth giving up my dream for?"

Kyle just looked at him.

"A day...it took me a day to give up a life long dream. And I became a stalker for a week...I can’t stay away from her. I followed her everyday. I followed from her house to her work and back to her house again and wherever she goes to. I saw her with her students, with her friends, with everyone she made contact with. I can’t forget her, Kyle. I was too deep already and the truth is I don’t want to stay away from that deep involvement. I want to be with her. Does that tell you something?"

"I don’t know what to say, Michael."

"Then don’t try to keep me away from her. And don’t try to say anything to her. I don’t need to convince you or Alex of what are my true intentions with her. If you don` believe me, I don’t care. I only care about what Maria would think...what she feels about me. It is about the two of us, Kyle. I know I don’t know her long enough to really see the real her but I am working on it. I don’t know her the way you and Alex and all your friends know her, but I am willing to do that. I just don’t need you pushing at me to go the other direction."

"You’re right, Michael...you don’t know her as much as we know her. You won’t know what will hit you until it is too late. Maria has problems, Michael...deep problems. She’s trying to overcome them for years but they keep coming back. And not one of us knows what to do about it anymore." Kyle said sadly.

"Maybe you’re doing it the wrong way. Or maybe you’re protecting her too much she felt so helpless and weak. Just let her go and let her fix it on her own."

"We can’t...we love her too much to do that."

"I love her too...much more than any of you can. And I will prove it to her...not to you or to Alex or to anyone but to her. So I would really appreciate it if you tell our friends to get off my back. I won’t listen to them anyway." Michael stood up and went to his bedroom leaving Kyle to let himself out.

********************

"You’re quiet." Michael called her attention.

"Sorry. Maybe we should just go home." Maria avoided his eyes.

They were on a secluded booth at the back end of the club. They were sitting across from each other.

"I think we should talk."

"Michael...please?" Her voice pleaded.

He stood up and immediately sat beside her. She moved at the end of the seat obviously putting up as much distance as possible between them.

"What is it that you’re afraid of, Maria? I know you feel something from that kiss. I felt it too. We both wanted it so why keep on acting as if it never happened?" He asked her not moving any closer.

"Michael...we are friends and I value that friendship too much to lose it. It was just a kiss...I am grateful for what you did for me. You should not put meaning into it because it was just that...a simple kiss."

"Then why do I have the feeling it was not just like a simple kiss? I can’t leave it like that. I know what I feel and I guess you also know what you feel." Michael slowly brings his hands to caress her face.

He watched as she edged closer to the wall at the same time seeing the anticipation in her eyes. When his palms cupped her face, he felt her pressed it into his open palms. She closed her eyes.

"Look at me, Maria. Tell me, you don’t feel anything. Tell me your heart is beating just as normal. Tell me you are not shaking inside and that you don’t feel something is about to burst inside of you. Tell me."

"I can’t." She whispered.

"Why not?" He leaned closer and he can feel her breath on his face.

She opened her eyes and looked straight into his eyes. "Would you leave me alone if I say I don’t feel any of those things?"

"No." He answered firmly.

"I am not worthy of your time, Michael. I am not pure and innocent. I am not someone you can be proud of." She said...her tears slowly streaming down her cheeks.

"Don’t say that. You are worthy of anything I can give you. Any man would be proud to have you. And who cares about purity and innocence? No one is...I know that now. In the physical sense, we may not be. But in your heart and in my heart...we are pure and innocent. In our own ways...we both are."

"Michael..."

"I love you, Maria...from the very first moment I laid eyes on you...I know you are the only one for me." He cupped her face with both hands. "I love you."

"No...don’t say that...I can’t..." She cried more.

"I love you. I don’t expect you to say it back if you don’t feel it...yet. But I know you feel something for me. Just let it go..."

He kissed her. She tried to pull but was once again lost in the feel of his lips. And he felt her respond. Their lips molded perfectly with each other. The need for air registered in his brain and he pulled back a little only to be drawn to another long and deep kiss by the look in her eyes. This feels so right. Her hands are around his neck with one of them caressing his nape and it sent sparks to his already heated body. When his hands traveled down her body stopping at the underside of her breasts, he felt her tremble...but it was something more...not of anticipation...but it was mixed with fear.

He broke the kiss and whispered in her ears. "I won’t do anything you don’t want...just tell me to stop and I will." And however hard it would be, he knew he would.

She took his hand and led them to her breasts and arched herself into it. He groaned and nipped her earlobes at the same time gently kneading her breasts through her clothes. She let out a soft moan and that drove him wild and in one instant, his hands are under her top, feeling her skin there.

"God...Michael..." He heard her moan again. Her hands are on his shirtfront trying to undo the buttons. When she finally put her palms on his chest, he lost it. He captured her lips again and savored its feel and his hands ventured downwards. He ran his hands along her thigh and put them between her legs to caress her there.

And that is when he realized the change. She became still and stiffened at that intimate touch. Her hands are shaking and her whole body is trembling. Her moans turned to chatter. And her voice is full of fear when she whispered. "No...don’t do that...please..."

"I won’t...I’m sorry..." He held her close not wanting her to bolt out. He ran his hands along her back, soothing her...calming her nerves. She cried and cried...the heat of the moment forgotten. And he just held her. When her sobs finally subsided, she looked up at him and her eyes are full of shame.

"I’m sorry...Michael. Now you think I’m some kind of a..."

"No...there’s nothing to apologize for. And I don’t think any less of you. I guess I got carried away and it’s only right for you to say No. I told you to." He wiped her tears with his palms.

"I’m sorry..." She whispered again. And in a quieter voice, she asked again. "Do you need to...to ...relieve yourself?"

He raised her chin with his hands and told her soothingly. "Don’t worry about me. I'm fine." He kissed her forehead. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Michael...I would understand it if you don’t want to see me again. Maybe...maybe we can still be friends?" She asked hopefully.

"I’ll always be your friend, Maria, you know that. But I want to be more than that." Seeing the panic in her eyes, he quickly added. "I will wait for you, Maria. I know you are not yet ready and I don’t know what made you so afraid of being intimate. But I will wait so don't try to push me away because I won’t leave you alone."

"You don’t know what you’re getting into, Michael. I don't know if I can be ready...ever."

"You will be worth the wait, Maria." He said truthfully.

"I am not worthy of anything, Michael. I am not the one you have been waiting for all your life."

"I love you. You are the one." He kissed her gently on the lips and looked her in the eyes. "You are. You will always be."

********************

Michael opened his door to see Max waiting patiently outside. "I know why you’re here and the answer is No. I won’t leave her alone." He turned his back and let him decide if he wanted to enter or not.

"Michael...I’m not here for her...I’m here for you. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into. She is not the girl for you or for any other man. And you would only be hurting her in the end if you kept on being stubborn." Max remained standing in the middle of the room. Michael walked towards him.

"Look who’s talking? I am not like you, Max...I will never hurt Maria just like what you did. How on earth she was able to forgive you, I can't understand."

"She has problems, Michael and no one can help her, not even herself."

"All of you kept on saying that. I don't care about her problems...I will help her deal with it or even overcome them if she will only let me." Michael yelled at Max.

"You would not be saying that if you only knew." Max said softly. "I tried to understand her but I am just a man with needs."

"You still want her." Michael voiced his realization. He saw how Max didn’t contradict what he said. "That is why you can’t marry Liz...not because of the guilt...it is because of Maria." Michael shook his head.

"I didn’t mean to cheat on her. But I can’t spend the rest of my life with her...no matter how much I love her. Liz is special but..."

"You are the one with problems, Max. How can you do that to both of them? You are the one who needs help." Michael told him angrily.

"Yes, I am. And I don’t want you to end up just like me. Stay away while you still can, Michael.”

"I don’t need your f-ucking advice, Maxwell! You walked away from her...that’s your problem and you have to live with that. I am staying and I am going to help her.”

"She is a FRIGID woman...for God’s sake! Tell me...Michael...can you live with that? You...with all your idealistic beliefs of having a virginal bride? Come on...Michael...how can you live the rest of your life without sex? I love her but how can I express that love if she cannot respond. If every time I touch her, she would repulse! How can you live with a woman who views sex as a dirty, repulsive act? Anyone would not want to be trapped in a life like that!" Max was also yelling. "I am just trying to save you from this same situation I am into. I would never love anyone like I love Maria...but I can’t be with her...I can’t."

"You really have a problem there, Maxwell. She is not frigid...she was far from being a frigid. She is a very passionate woman, if you would ask me. You just were not able to wait for her to come to terms with herself...that’s what your problem is. And I guess it didn’t help her much with her problems. Whatever those were...I am going to find out from her and not from anyone else and I am going to stick around to see her through."

"That was easier said than done, believe me." Max looked at him with determination. "She can’t handle another heartbreak, Michael."

"You are not listening to what she was saying, Max. Or maybe you just don’t want to listen. She may be disappointed with what happened between you two...but she was not heartbroken. She didn’t love you. She knew what was coming and she was ready...but not with the way you did it. Her best friend...Max? How can you be so cruel? Don’t blame me if I don’t believe you when you tell me you love her. It seems not love to me. Maybe more like a deflated ego. You can’t accept that you were not able to let her out of her hard shell. You can’t accept that after a year of being with her, you weren’t even able to share a long passionate kiss with her. You just want her in bed, Max and you were not able to do it." Michael shook his head.

"You were not here for me, Max...not even for Maria. You were here because you don’t want anyone else to have her. You won’t let yourself believe that some other man can break that hard shell. I am not saying that I am the one...I can’t claim that...but I am willing to stick around until she finds herself. She may not want to be with me...who could tell...but I will not be intimidated by you or Alex or Kyle. I love her and there are many ways to express love aside from sex. Or maybe you don’t know that. So...if what you are expecting is I will follow your advice...get lost." Michael walked to the door and opened it for Max.

"You may be right in saying that I don’t want any other man to have her but you are very wrong about one thing. I do love her, Michael...I do." Max went out the door with his head bowed down.

Michael watched him walk away. He felt pity for him but it was his own doing. He had his chance with Maria and he blew it off. Now...he had nothing.

Part 6

Scarred For Life

His heart is rapidly pounding in his chest. What could have happened? They were supposed to meet an hour ago. Why is she not answering his calls? He paused at her door and prayed that she would be there and just forgot their date. He knocked and waited for her to open the door. Nothing. He knocked again and a little louder this time. He heard a little stirring inside and suddenly the door opened to reveal a very, disheveled Maria.

Michael sighed with relief. She is fine. His fear abated but the worries remained. Her appearance is nothing like normal. He took notice of the way she held on to the door. She is gripping it to prevent herself from falling. And then it dawned on him.

"Have you been drinking, Maria?"

"What do you want, Michael?" She asked. At least her voice was not slurred.

"You stood me up. What happened?" He stepped inside but Maria shoved him back.

"I didn’t invite you in. Just go...I need to be alone." Maria swayed and had to hold onto Michael to steady herself.

Michael took the opportunity and held her waists, stepped inside and closed the door. He dragged a protesting Maria inside but he was shocked to see the state of the house. The whole house was in shambles. It was like a hurricane came by to topple down everything. From his standpoint, he can see that the bedroom was not spared of the fury. His gaze turned back to Maria who is now whimpering.

He led her to the bedroom and to her bed and made her lie down. He went to the bathroom...get a washcloth...and went back to Maria. She is now sobbing quietly...her arms wrapped around herself.

"I’m sorry...Michael..." She kept repeating over and over again.

"Shhh...it’s OK...I’m here. Just stay there and sleep it off, OK?" He smoothed her hair. He cleaned her up and waited until he heard her shallow breathing. Michael looked around. It would be a long night. He stood up and started with the waiting task in hand.

********************

Michael had just finished a cup of coffee when he heard Maria enter the kitchen. She was just out of the shower and she seemed not to be suffering from any hangover. The sleep through the night did the job. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Good morning."

"You stayed?"

He nodded. "Want some coffee?"

She nodded and he poured a cup for her. She took it and cradled it in her hands. She looked everywhere but at him. He went to sit across from her and stared.

"Go ahead, Michael. Ask your questions...we both know you want to." She is still not looking at him.

He didn’t respond and that forced her to look at him. He saw how dreaded she looked anticipating his questions. She was not yet ready, he could tell. "What do you want for lunch? My mother told me I have a very bright future in the kitchen."

She looked surprised...then relief...and she smiled. "We need to go out...I have nothing in the fridge."

********************

They spent the morning doing the groceries. He asked her if they could drop by his house so he can have a change of clothes and she happily agreed. She waited for him while he took a shower and got changed. She didn’t even ask when she saw the small bag he threw at the back of the car before they drove off. It was a silent understanding that he was staying the whole weekend in her place.

He cooked for her and he can see that it made her feel special. Maybe no one has ever done that to her. He didn’t ask any questions because he knew she would tell him when she is ready. And from the looks of it, he may not wait too long. It made his heart soar a little bit. She is starting to trust him.

They were now seated at her backyard looking up at the stars. They were quiet...enjoying the night in each other’s company.

"I haven’t done this in years. I almost forgot how peaceful this feels like."

"What made you stop?"

Silence. He thought she would never answer. "I was afraid to be alone in the dark again. I was always afraid he would come back and do it again."

Michael didn’t say anything. This is it! She is ready to tell her story.

"It was just like any other night. We had our dinner and after cleaning up, I went out to look at the stars. I do it every night. It made me forget all the arguments I have heard the whole day...the yelling, the curses...they wouldn’t stop. It was as if they only live to do those things. That night was no different. They were arguing and then there was silence. Then there were moans and groans...but that didn’t last long like any other night. In an instant, they were arguing again. And then she left. She told me it was the biggest mistake that she had ever made in her life. She left me alone with him. She left me with an angry, drunk and highly aroused but sexually frustrated man."

Michael heard the bitter laugh.

"It didn’t take him long to find me. I was surprised to see him by my side asking me how I was. He never do that...never in my whole existence. I was happy. That was the first time he showed concern over me. He asked me to come inside because it was getting cold. He put his arms around me and I was just so happy to lean on him. It was too late for me to realize what he wanted from me. He led me to my room and almost dragged me to my bed. And that is when I realized what he had in mind. I struggled...I fought...I screamed...I did everything to stop him...but I was not able to. I called for her but she didn’t come. I was crying hard, he slapped me around."

Michael knew how it was hurting her to relive everything. Now he understood why she was so afraid. He looked at her and saw the tears she was trying to suppress.

"I thought I was going to die with the pain. It’s like he wanted to split me in two. All I wanted to do was sleep so I wouldn’t feel anymore...so I wouldn’t be aware of what he is doing to me. But he won’t let me. He wanted me to feel the pain...he wanted me to see everything. I begged him to stop but he kept on laughing...telling me I deserved everything because my mother is a whore and I am the product of her indiscretions. He did things to my body and he made me do things to him I never really understood. But it felt dirty and it felt wrong. He took me again and again the whole night. That was the longest night of my life. Before he left, he told me I should blame my mother because she left him frustrated and he just had to relieve himself. He told me I had a great body, even at a very young age, with a beautiful face that goes with it. But that would be all there is to it. Nobody would ever love me after what he did. Men would only look at me with lust...they will just be after my body. Nobody will love a damaged good like me."

At that point, Michael was already out of his chair to take her into his arms. Her body was shaking with sobs. But Maria stood up and get as far away from him as possible.

"He never came back. My mother told me he won’t be coming back...that he could never hurt me again. She cried and cried, telling me how sorry she was for leaving me that night. She brought me to so many doctors. I was screaming...hands are touching me again...they wanted me to sleep but I can’t...I don’t want them to touch me but they said it was necessary. I can’t understand why? I looked at my mother and she was letting them. Why didn’t she care? But she said she did...that they had to do those things to me. They explained so many things. I don’t want to listen...because only one thing remained in my mind. My own father raped me. Why? I don’t know...maybe because he always thought I was not his daughter because my mother cheated on her. How I wish it were like that! For once in my life, I wish my mother had been a whore and really cheated on him and bear me. Maybe it would be much less painful if he were not my father. But it was not the case; he would always be my father even if he wouldn’t acknowledge me as his own. I didn’t want to think about that too much...but the fact would always stay in my mind...that my own father raped me at the tender age of twelve because he was left sexually frustrated by my mother. And I would always remember that...it was dangerous to leave sexually frustrated men or there will have so much like me in this world...helpless young girls who wouldn’t know what hit them until it was too late."

Maria finally looked at him. Her eyes are dry but her cheeks are stained with tears.

"Can you imagine me going to a shrink at that age? I have to tell her everything my father did to me...everything that he told me. I can say my shrink helped me a lot...my mother too. She never left my side ever since. They told me I could have a normal life again. Maybe...I thought then. I had Alex as my best friend...I trusted him and I told him everything and he stood by me ever since. Then there’s Kyle...he tried to hit on me but Alex and I put him on his place. The three of us became the best of friends. They took care of me and I realized my father was wrong. He had to be wrong. Alex and Kyle loves me...I know...not because of my body but because I am Maria, their best friend. Or maybe...friends don’t count. So I had to prove him wrong. I started dating although it scares the hell out of me to be so close with boys of my age. I shuddered at the thought of any man touching me again. And I held them at arms length...I did everything to be the perfect girlfriend except the sexual part. And I failed...every one of them...they only wanted one thing...to get their hands under my shirt or my pants. Maybe my father was right. But I can’t let him be right...I had to prove him wrong."

She went back to her seat and look at the stars again.

"Then I met Max. He was different from the others. He seemed sincere and he did court me. He put all his efforts to get my attention and I rejoiced because I thought I found the man I was looking for...the one man that would prove my father wrong...the one man that would love me not because I had this great body but because I am Maria. But then again...I was disappointed. Max loved me but he cannot live without sex. I tried to respond to him but I can’t. Every time he would try to kiss me, I would only see my father’s face. Whenever he tried to touch me, I would tremble. I know he tried to understand but we started drifting apart. Somehow, I know I am to blame. I should have let him go...I shouldn’t have let the relationship last a year. I just didn’t realize he was so frustrated that he would cheat on me with my best friend. But I forgave him...that was the best thing to do. It was not his fault that he didn’t turn out to be the man that would prove my father wrong. And I started thinking...maybe there was no such man. Maybe my father was right."

Then she looked at him and smiled.

"Then I met you. I never felt so beautiful until that day you were looking at me. I was in my old plain clothes and you stopped and offered your help. After a while, I really thought you were a psycho. I thought I have avoided my stalker and I run into a more serious one. But you are really there to help me. That was why I was so sad that you wouldn’t talk to me afterwards. I should have known better...I shouldn’t have let my hopes up. I tried to forget about you...especially after I learned about your dream girl. It struck me right in the face. What am I doing fantasizing about you? We could never be! I am a damaged good...no one will love me especially like you."

Michael kneeled in front of her. "Maria...don’t say that..."

"You know what, Michael? You are somehow right in telling me maybe I wanted the feeling of being stalked. But it was not the feeling...it was the hope that I could still prove my father wrong. I was wondering how far this stalker would go in pursuing me. Was he stalking me because he was really in love with me or was he just any other man? God...I am really sick! No amount of years going to a shrink would heal me."

Maria ran her hands through his hair. He linked her hands at the back of his head.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Michael. You helped me overcome my fear of kissing someone. You made me feel things I thought I could never feel. You bring me to life. You were so passionate...I could lose myself in you...or so I thought. I don’t deserve someone so perfect like you. You proved my father wrong. Someone can love me not just for my body. I know and I feel that you really love me. You proved it again and again and in so many ways...simple gestures that meant a lot to me. No one has ever made me feel so good and so right like when I am with you. But I wouldn’t heal, Michael. It would be unfair to you to wait for me when we both know that I can’t be with you in an intimate way. My father won. He had scarred me deeply...I can never have a normal life...no matter how much I tried. My own father scarred me for life."

"You are wrong. You will heal in time...and you have me...I won’t leave...I will always be here for you." Michael touched her face and she started crying again.

"No...Michael. You deserve someone better...someone who can fulfill you dreams just like you have imagined it would be. And it is not me."

Michael leaned closer and pressed his lips into her. They fit perfectly together. "Tell me if this feels wrong." He managed to say when they pulled apart.

"It feels right. Everything with you feels right and feels good. Sometimes, I look into your eyes and forgot who I really was...those times when I was allowed not to think of what happened to me. But they always come back, Michael. No matter how I’ve tried to forget it, I can’t because it was imprinted on my mind. Yesterday was worse than the other years. Maybe because I finally had hope...being with you...only to be reminded that I can never be with somebody. Last night was exactly 12 years of that horrible night of my life. Memories won’t leave me, Michael...it would haunt me for the rest of my life. What we have is special...let us leave it like that. I don’t want it to be ruined by something that I have no control of. I don’t want you to hate me someday because I cannot give you what normal male needs. I just can’t."

"It won’t happen, Maria. I could never hate you. I don’t care about the intimacy issue. I would never dwell on that. I just want to be with you...to help you."

"For how long, Michael? How long until you start wondering what you are missing? Can you promise me your faithfulness for the rest of your life? Can you live without sex? Tell me, Michael...can you live without it?" Maria stood up and put a distance between them again.

Michael also stood up and faced her. "I don’t know...I can’t answer that. I would be lying if I answered yes or no because I really wouldn’t know. Even you couldn’t answer that, Maria. You are only 24 years old and there are still so many things and so many changes that could happen to you. You may be feeling now that you can’t be intimate with someone because of what your father did to you...but tomorrow or the next day or weeks or months and years from now...you may be saying a different thing. You would never know. You have survived this long...why would you think you can’t survive some more? You are right...your own father has scarred you for life. But look at it this way...those scars are not just reminders of what he did to you but more of how you have overcome the misfortune that happened to you. It is not your fault that you have a monster for a father. Twelve years had passed and you are still here...fighting and proving that your father was wrong. You know what...he was wrong all along. How can you hold on to the words of a man who has hurt and tried to destroy his own daughter? His words are nothing, Maria. You can’t let him direct your life all these years."

Michael took her hands and laid her palms flat on his chest. "I can’t answer your question, Maria because I really don’t know. But there is one thing that I can tell you and that is I could not live without you. I wanted to be with you ever since I met you and if being with you means I can’t have sex then I am willing to take the risk. I don’t know if my body would protest or would wither down, but as far as I know I haven’t heard of anyone dying from lack of sex. So what I can promise is that I will be with you as long as my body permits me to be with you. And if it turned out that my body can’t live without sex, then I would simply die, but I will die happy because I am with you. And of course..."

"Michael...this is no time for joke..." Maria frowned at him.

"Who said I was joking?"

"Michael..."

"What I am trying to tell you is that I don’t care. If you would have me, I have reached my ultimate goal. Everything that comes with that was just bonuses. Being with you is the most important thing for me."

"Oh...Michael..."

It was at that moment that Isabel and Alex saw them. Michael was holding both of Maria’s hands in his chest while Maria is trying hard not to cry. It was a very touching moment...one that they don’t have the heart to disturb. So as quietly as they had entered the house and found them at the backyard, they went back inside and let themselves out and get into their car. The reason for coming is not necessary...Maria would be all right.

Part 7

Fighting Back

"I can’t believe you did that!" Maria threw Alex a cushion while laughing so hard she clutched her belly.

"Why? I know you see me as an angel but I can be a little naughty sometimes." Alex said putting the cushion behind him.

"A little naughty? You call that naughty? That was vicious, Alex! And you know it." Isabel chimed in joining Maria and Liz with their laughing fest.

Michael chuckled a little. He was just sitting there observing and enjoying the happiness around. His hands are on Maria’s hips holding her so as not to fall from his lap. She was laughing so hard that all he wanted to do was capture that laugh in a kiss. She had changed a lot the past few weeks since that night. Slowly and carefully, she let her guard down especially with him around. She learned to love his touch and his kisses. It was difficult for him at first. Imagine having to stop every time it became too much for her. He didn’t imagine having such much self-control. And he knew why...because he loves her too much to let her down. But gradually she had let herself go.

Max was wrong in believing she is frigid and he can see how much it was hurting him to see Maria in his arms. He never had something like this with her the whole time they were dating. Sneaking a glance at Max sitting beside Liz, he was sure there is flash of anger and envy in his eyes. He was trying to join in the joking around but he was failing. His eyes wander around but always stay longer than necessary on Maria. In a way, he can’t blame him; she was a sight to drown yourself in. In it’s own accord, his hands moved to rest on her stomach, feeling her exposed skin from the very tiny top she wore. Still laughing with their friends, Maria turned her head to him and put her arms around his neck and pulled him for a tender kiss. To hell with Max! He can watch as much as he wants...he can be angry and envious for all he care...but he won’t suppress his feelings and his actions for his sake. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss.

"Hey! We're still here!" Kyle laughed and stood up from where he was sitting and got the cushion behind Alex and threw it at the two passionately kissing each other.

The cushion landed on their heads and Michael used his other hand to clutch it and without breaking the kiss, threw it back to where it came from. Only that Kyle was ready, knowing Michael’s quick reflex, he shoved it and landed right on Max’s face.

"That's enough!" Max yelled a little harsher than he intended.

"Oh...oh...someone is pissed off. Cut it out, guys. You have all the time when we go home." Tess said while tapping Michael on the shoulder.

Michael reluctantly let go of Maria and groaned loudly. Maria only smiled and get up from his lap.

"Hey!" Michael protested.

"I'll go get the ice cream." She said giving him another quick kiss before heading out to the kitchen.

"Want some help?" Liz asked.

"No...it’s OK. I can manage."

When she was already out of sight, Max leaned closer to Liz and whispered. "I’ll just go to the bathroom." He stood up before she can reply.

********************

Maria took the ice cream from the freezer and spun around to put it on the table. She almost dropped it when she saw Max leaning on it.

"You scared me! What are you doing out here?" Maria sidestepped and passed Max and put down the gallon of ice cream on the table.

"Thought I’d help you." He simply said not taking his eyes away from her.

"No need. I got it all covered." She took cups and teaspoons from the kitchen drawer and put them on trays. She looked up when she became aware that he was still standing there.

"What?"

"I still love you, Maria. I didn’t go through with the wedding because of that."

Maria eyed him in disbelief. "Are you kidding? Because I am telling you...it is not funny."

"I love you. I never stopped." He tried to hold her hand but she stepped back.

"Your fiancée is out there and you are telling me something she should be the one to hear? What, are you on drugs?"

"Have you slept with him yet?" He blurted out.

Maria’s eyes flashed in anger. "None of your damn business. Now...get out of my way and I’m going back out there to eat this ice cream with my friends and forget that any of those words came out of your mouth." She was about to take up the tray but Max gripped her elbows hard.

"Listen to me, Maria. Let’s start all over again. I promise I will be faithful this time." He pleaded.

"God...Max...will you just listen to yourself?" She yanked her arms away but Max gripped her harder. "Take your hands off me, Max. You are scaring me!" Her voice shook a little and she tried to free her arms once again but Max won’t budge.

"Maria...please listen to me..."

"I don’t want to listen to you, Max. I don’t want you and I don’t love you. So please...just leave me alone." Maria yelled not caring if her friends in the living room would hear her.

"I would do what she says if I were you." An icy voice said from the doorway.

Max put his hands down and looked Michael in the eye. "I'll get her back, Michael. I’ll get her back!" And with that, he moved passed him and out the door.

Michael reached Maria in two strides and enveloped her shaking body with his arms. "Shhh...it’s all right. He’s gone...I’m here."

Maria buried her face in his chest and sobbed. He is going to kill Max for this. What was he thinking, cornering Maria like this? Of all people, he should know how fragile she is in situations like that?

"Michael...please, make them leave." She pleaded clutching his shirt.

"I'll take care of it. Now...let’s go to your bedroom and put you to bed, OK?"

She nodded. He ignored the questioning eyes of everyone in the living room and noticed that Max and Liz had already gone. Good. He was not sure if he can deal with Max tonight without hitting him. He had to take care of Maria first.

********************

Michael parked in front of Alex and Isabel’s house. His meeting with his agent took longer than he expected. It was good Kyle called to pick up Maria instead. As he approached the front door, it suddenly opened to reveal a very pissed off Isabel.

"You are half an hour late. You could have called! And where is Maria?"

"So...why are you picking on me when Kyle is also not here yet?" Michael let himself inside but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Kyle laughing with Tess, Alex and Liz. He was suddenly nervous. "Where is Maria?"

"Aren’t we supposed to ask you that? You are late without even calling and you are asking where your girlfriend is?" Alex taunted him.

"Kyle, where is she? This isn’t a time for a joke!" Michael’s voice became frantic.

"How would I know?" Kyle asked totally clueless to what Michael is talking about.

"You called the office and left a message that you are going to pick her up. Now...where is she?" Michael was now standing in front of Kyle.

"Michael...I didn’t call your office. Why would I do that? I have to pick up Tess and Maria’s not on my way."

"Oh my God!" Before anyone can react, Michael was already out the door on his way to his car. Only one thing was clear...Maria is in danger!

********************

She was ready to go 15 minutes before Michael was supposed to arrive. What’s taking him so long? She tried to call earlier to remind him but was informed he is in a meeting and cannot be disturbed. It would be unprofessional to leave a message just to remind him that his girlfriend was so anxious to see him. It was unfortunate that of all the days for his agent to call a meeting, it had to be the day that Liz and Max are going to get married...again.

She frowned at the thought. The little fiasco at their last meeting together was forgotten. Michael and Max had a long talk and afterwards the three of them. Everything was all right and Max was so sincere in his apologies. He even asked her help in proposing to Liz for the second time. Then he and Liz decided to get married quietly with only their friends as witnesses. And this is the day. They are to meet at Alex and Isabel’s house and from there will proceed to the Judge’s office. This is a great day and Michael was late!

They both decided not to mention what happened to any of their friends since no harm has been done. Although sometimes, she still had some doubts. Well...Michael would have known if there was a need to be cautious but he was all for the idea...so maybe there is really no reason to be suspicious.

She went to check herself on the full-length mirror again. Her heart went to her throat when she saw a reflection of someone at her back. She turned around to face the intruder.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" Her voice shook with fear.

Everything went by very fast and the next thing she knew, he had ripped off her dress and his hands are all over her body. She screamed and tried to get free but he is so strong. She kicked him and hit him with her fists but nothing registered in his determined face. He had a smirk on his face just like what her father looked 12 years ago. Her eyes blurred with tears as the reality hit her. It was happening again!

She was dragged to her bed. She was flung so hard she hadn’t had the time to get up before his body pounced on top of her. She struggled so hard and tried to keep him away but to no avail. He was determined to have her. He pinned her arms above her head while his other hand caressed her face. She was startled by the gentleness but still squirm under him trying to get free. That turned out to be a bad move since she felt it only heightened his arousal. She lay still for a moment...she had to think. He started to go slack on his hold on her as he felt her relax. He started kissing her neck.

She is not a 12 year old girl anymore...she now had the strength to defend herself. No one can take her without her consent. She owes it to herself not to let that happen again. She owes it to Michael.

Slowly, she raised her knee in between his legs...her legs running alongside his that elicited a groan from him...and with all her strength, she kneed him on his groin. A loud yelp was heard and she pushed him away from her. She struggled on her feet and took hold of the first object her eyes laid into...her bedside lamp. She yanked it out and threw it at him not bothering where it landed on his body. Then she picked out the next and the next and the next...everything that is heavy. He had no time to get up...every object that came his way made him fell down again. Then she saw it...the antique jar. Michael gave it to her when he learned that she was so fascinated with jars. Without a second thought, she took it and raised it high. She saw the look of fear in his eyes and she paused. Would this kill him? Maybe...maybe not. But one thing for sure, he will not be able to do what he came here for. She would make sure of that...then she threw the jar at him and heard his scream and watched him slumped down on the floor completely. Blood all over...pieces of broken objects surrounding his body...she slid down the wall...her arms wrapped around her naked body. She rocked back and forth...her tears spilling down her cheeks. They won’t stop. And she didn’t want to stop. Her fight was over. She had defended herself...which was what she wanted to accomplish that night years ago. The tears are for herself...for the part of her that knew she had won over the demons of the past. She was free.

And that is what Michael saw as soon as he entered her bedroom. He walked passed the bloodied man on the floor and took a sheet from the bed and walked over to where Maria is. He wrapped it around her and carried her out and sat on the sofa with her on his arms.

He reached for the phone and dialed 911. After all, he was a friend...although he would make sure that he would spend the rest of his life away from them...in jail if he can help it. Not if Liz would forgive him for this...he had a doubt she will. But if she does...that would make two of them...cast away from their friends` lives.

Part 8

Feelings Within

Michael emerged from his bedroom where he had laid down Maria. Alex and Kyle bolted out from their seats.

"How is she?" They asked in unison.

"Still a little shaken up but she is now sleeping. I hope she will sleep through the night." Michael sighed and dropped down beside Isabel on the couch. He looked across at Liz who was staring in space. Her cheeks are stained with tears. Tess was also sitting quietly beside her.

More silence filled the room until Kyle blurted out. "I can’t believe Max did that. Why didn’t you tell us what he did before? It would have saved us all these trouble if you didn’t keep anything from our group!"

"And to think he and Liz are going to be married today?! What are you thinking? Why didn’t you tell us?" Isabel also was now pacing back and forth.

Michael ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You’re sorry? Is that all you can say after what happened? After what everyone had gone through?!" Alex yelled at Michael.

"What do you want me to say?" Michael asked looking at all his friends. Seeing them now, he suddenly realized that they were all Maria’s friends. He became one of them because of Kyle, Alex and Max at first and closer because of Maria.

"How about telling us that you are a selfish bastard?" Kyle told him with sarcasm.

"Kyle!!" Tess protested.

"Why not? It was true! He wanted Maria all for himself. He never even thought of what Liz would feel and what Liz should know. He kept it to himself because he thought that once Max was married to Liz, he would not be any threat to his and Maria’s relationship." Kyle said angrily.

"Kyle...please calm down." Isabel pleaded. "Stop yelling or you will wake Maria."

"Is that all you can think about? How it would affect Maria? How all these yelling and fighting would wake her up? Why are you all blaming Michael? Maria also kept the secret. Didn’t it ever occur to you that she also has to be blamed for all these?" Liz talked and voiced out her opinion for the first time.

Everyone stared at her wide-eyed.

"How can you even say that?" Tess was the first to ask.

"That stupid incident with her father happened a long time ago...she should have been over it by now. But look at all of us...look back all those years we had been together. Why is it always about her? Why should we all worry if we had offended her or said something that may trigger her mind to remember that incident? We are all walking on thin line when it comes to her. And she wanted that...God how she wanted that!" Liz stood up and walked beside the window. Her tears are again streaming down her cheeks.

"This is supposed to be my wedding day. For the second time, it was cancelled because of her. Why can’t she let me be happy with Max? She had all of you...why can’t she let Max go?" Liz stared at all her friends asking for their understanding.

"Stop it, Liz. Stop acting like you are the victim here. Max tried to rape her. Open your eyes...your husband-to-be tried to rape your best friend! Your best friend for God’s sake! And you are trying to blame her for all of this?" Tess said sharply. And in a sharper tone, she added. "Of all people, Liz...you know Maria had let go of Max a long time ago. She let go of him the time you both cheated on her!"

Liz swung and faced Tess...surprise all over her face.

"You thought I had forgotten, didn’t you?" Tess asked straight to her face.

"What are you two talking about?" Isabel stood beside Tess.

"Why don’t you tell them, Liz?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tess." She walked to the couch and got her purse. "I'm going home."

"Oh no you don't!" Tess got hold of her arm and gripped it. "You started this issue...you should finish it. Don’t blame anything on Maria...she was the victim in every circumstances that happened."

Liz tried to free her arm but Tess won’t let go. "Fine! You want to know the truth? I’ll tell you what I feel for your precious friend!"

Tess let go of her arm and Liz walked back to her place by the window. "I fell in love with Max the first time I saw him...but he only had eyes for Maria. They were happy...or so I thought. Maria is my best friend but I love Max. It hurt to see them together but I waited. I know someday...everything will fall apart because of Maria’s intimacy issues. I went away for a while and when I came back, I noticed some tension between them. I asked Tess if they were still together and she said yes. But I ignored it and seduce Max. I never told him that. I used his guilt to keep him." Liz wiped her tears away.

"But everything always goes back to Maria. I thought it was over when they broke up but it will never be over. It will never be..." Liz’s body shook with her sobs. "He will never love me the way he loves her. And I hate her for it. I don’t want to...but I do hate her. I do."

"It is not her fault, Liz. It was never her fault." Alex approached and took Liz into his arms.

"I’m sorry, Liz...for everything you’ve been through. But Alex was right; it was never Maria’s fault. It is not her fault that everybody loves her and it’s not because of what happened to her years ago." Isabel approached the two and rubbed Liz’s back. "Maria is a very special girl. We can’t help ourselves but love her."

"But loving her doesn’t mean you should forget your priorities in life." Tess said softly.

Kyle noticed the sadness in Tess’s voice. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"Don’t get me wrong, Kyle. I love Maria, she is my friend. But sometimes...I do feel as second best. I don’t hate her but I hate the fact that whenever you hear she is sad or upset or just needed someone to talk to...you would drop everything just to be with her. I know you love her as a sister but...�h Tess was not able to finish since she is trying to suppress her sobs.

Kyle took her in his arms. "Oh Tess...I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was hurting you. It’s just that Maria needed Alex and me. We are the only ones who knew her best...what she needs...what can make her happy."

"Not anymore, Kyle. Michael is here now...whether you and Alex believed it or not, Michael is the only one she needed right now. She will always look up to you both...but it is Michael who can give her what she needed in life." Isabel explained.

Alex helped the now quiet Liz into the couch. His eyes landed on Isabel and looked at her questioningly. Isabel smiled and shook her head. It was a silent understanding. Isabel didn’t feel what Tess was feeling but from what she said, Alex knew he needed to give a little space for Michael. Isabel was right...only Michael can take care of Maria right now.

Kyle walked to Michael and touched his shoulders. "I'm sorry...I think I was out of line there a while ago."

"No...you’re right. I was selfish when it comes to Maria. I didn’t tell you about the incident because I wanted to believe Max was sincere when he apologized...that he was sincere in asking Maria’s help in proposing to Liz the second time around. I wanted to believe everything would be all right once they were married. But now I know I was wrong...and it almost took Maria away again. I could never forgive myself if Max had..." Michael's voice trailed away. He cannot imagine the horrors of how it would affect Maria if Max got what he wanted.

"I guess we all learned our lessons here." Alex smiled at the group while still holding Liz on his arms.

"Are you going to press charges?" Liz asked softly, looking up at Michael.

"If it was in my hands, Liz...I would. I can never forgive him for what he tried to do. But I guess it’s all up to Maria. It is her decision to make."

********************

Maria opened her eyes to her surrounding. It looked different. This is not her room but it felt peaceful. She turned her head to the side and frowned when she noticed Michael slumped on a single couch beside the bed...watching her intently.

"Hi...sleep well?" He straightened in his seat and ran his hands in his hair shyly.

Maria started to smile. "Like a baby." She yawned and can’t help but stretched out in front of him. Michael groaned at the sight.

"I'll start breakfast." He stood up and started for the door but Maria caught his arm.

"Michael...thank you."

He instead sat on the side of the bed facing her. "It was my fault. I should never have believed him after what happened before. I put you in danger by keeping our friends from the truth."

"Please...Michael...don’t blame yourself. It is much of my own fault...I believed him too."

"OK...its both our fault. What should we do with ourselves?" Michael said to lighten the situation.

"How about keeping me here?" Maria answered in the same tone.

"But that would be my pleasure. I was kind of expecting a punishment." Michael winked loving the conversation.

"Just leave it to me. I’ll make it pure torture on your part." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Imagine waking up with a stark naked Maria on your side?"

"You’re a temptress!" Michael moved and pinned her to the bed and kissed her gently. He felt her responded and deepened the kiss a little more.

When they pulled back from each other, they were both smiling. "So?" Maria asked.

"I'll think about it." He shrugged his shoulders.

"OK..." Maria suddenly became serious. "How was Liz?"

"Not good. She’s with Isabel and Alex."

"How about...Max?" She shivered as she remembered the events of the previous day.

"I don’t know...and I don’t care. I’ve called for medical help for him but that’s all. Liz wants to know if we are pressing charges."

"Are we?"

"That's your call, Maria. If you would ask me, I want him in jail but it is your decision."

"I don’t want to live in fear...looking over my shoulders and always checking if someone is following me around. But I also don’t want to hurt Liz, as I’m sure she is hurting now. She loves Max very much."

Michael looked at her. How can she still think of Liz?

"Do you think I can send him to another state...I mean like in a restraining order. He can’t be in the same state with me. That way, if Liz would still like to be with him...they can still be together." Maria asked him with hope in her eyes.

"I don’t know...maybe. But Maria, even if he is in another state..."

"Do you think he’ll try to do it again?" She asked with fear in her voice.

"I don’t know anymore what he is capable of doing. I want you to be safe but if he would still be around just outside of this state...I don’t know what I’ll do to him if he tried to..."

"Maybe that would make you think faster and decide on my moving here. I don’t want to impose on you but I will feel much safer with you here than..."

"What did you just say?" Michael cut her off.

"You said you’ll think about it so I assume..." Maria suddenly turned red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry...I thought...just forget about it."

"You want to move in here with me?" He asked...his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Look...I know how stupid it is of me to assume that..."

"I thought you were just kidding." He said seriously.

"Yeah...with the naked part. But I would really feel safe with you here.” She answered in the same serious tone.

"Can we negotiate on the naked part?" Michael smiled while approaching the bed. He was startled when a pillow hit him on the face.

Part 9

Letting Go

They stared at each other. Both were scared to break the silence. Words are hanging in the air.

Finally, he let out a sigh and spoke quietly. "I'm sorry..."

"I know..." She cut him off. "I know."

"I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?" His eyes are pleading.

"I forgive you, Max. I would always forgive you. That is how much I love you." She approached slowly and sat on his hospital bed. "She is not pressing charges but filed for a restraining order against you. You can’t be in the same state as her. As soon as you are discharged, you will be accompanied by authorities out of here. They'll be with you on the plane until you are settled in your new home."

Max nodded...his eyes solemn. "How is she?"

Liz looked away. "She is fine. Michael is taking really good care of her. She moved in with him."

Max winced at the information. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Another silence enveloped them. Finally, he smiled and looked at her. "Where would you like to settle down?"

"I don’t know. I have friends in Florida. I might go there." Liz faced Max and tried to smile but failed.

"Maybe we should try Chicago. I have a sister there." He reached out for her hands but she stood up and walked a little away from the bed.

"I am not going with you. We need to stay away from each other." She said firmly.

"I thought you have forgiven me?" He asked with a little hurt in his voice.

"I do...I did. But it doesn’t mean I will continue making a fool of myself."

"Liz..."

"It’s over, Max. We both need help...professional help. We both turned into something horrible. We need to find ourselves again...but it won’t help to stay together. We’ve been together for what? 3 years? And look what we have become!"

"I am not seeing a shrink if that’s what you mean. I am perfectly fine. I am not crazy." Max became agitated.

"Yeah...you're fine...fine enough to think of raping your ex-girlfriend who is also your fiancée’s best friend!" She said with sarcasm.

"Liz...listen to me. I’m sorry...it won’t happen again..."

"As if Michael would let you near her again!" She faced him and let all the anger seeped out of her. "I gave up everything for you, Max. I betrayed my best friend...I swallowed my pride...I lied to my friends, I lied to you and to myself...I did everything I thought that can help our relationship because I love you. I thought that was enough but I was wrong." She regained her composure and continued in a much softer voice. "It’s not your fault, Max...in as much as it is not Maria’s fault that we turned out like this. But it has to stop. I can’t be with you anymore, Max. All my mistakes are eating me up inside."

"Liz...let’s talk about this...the two of us. We can go through this if we are together...helping each other." Max pleaded.

"No...it has been 3 years, Max and it’s not getting any better. I hate the person I became. I hate myself...I hate Maria the most...but I can’t let myself hate you. How pathetic, huh! I am a total wreck, Max. I don’t know myself anymore. I need help and I intend to get it before it’s too late. I have done everything in my power to keep you but they were not enough. There’s always a time for everything. And I guess it’s time for me to let go...for myself, for you and for everybody else."

"I love you, Liz...please don’t do this? Please don’t leave me alone?"

It took all of her strength not to go to him and comfort him. She had to stay strong.

"I lied to you, Max. I know that we are cheating on Maria. I used your guilt to keep you. I let you believe I am innocent on the matter and you’re the only guilty party. I know that it was not guilt that made you cancel on the wedding. I played along...made you believe I lost trust in you...I know you are not ready and I am giving you the time and the space to think about everything. But that is not because I wanted you to go back to Maria but because I wanted you to see me as the perfect fiancée. I wanted you to see me as you see her...perfect for you. I closed my mind to everything but you. I made myself believe that you are starting to see me. I made myself deaf to everything our friends have to say. I know something was wrong but I wanted to believe that you are now ready to be with me...forever. It was the only thing that kept me going. I was so in love with you, Max that I can’t see and think straight."

"Liz..."

"I hate Maria for what she has done to us. Can you imagine that? I am blaming the wrong person! But I can’t help it, Max. I don’t want to and I know it was wrong, but I hate her! I hate her for being herself. I hate everything about her! I hate her because...because of her, I can’t have you. That is why I know I need help...before it’s too late. At least now, I am still aware that I was wrong. But if we stayed together...I don’t know how long before we both break down." She wiped the tears that started to fall on her cheeks.

"We don’t have to stay away from each other, Liz. Let’s do this together...we don’t need anyone’s help."

"For how long, Max? How long until you start wondering again about Maria? How long until that little voice in your head starts telling you to pursue her again? You need help...I love you but you need help...we both do. And if we don’t get up to find that help, something more awful will happen."

"Don’t do this. Liz." Max pleaded.

"I have to...for myself. I spent so much time living my life for you...I guess it’s time for me to think of myself for once." She approached the bed and took Max in her arms. "I love you." She pulled back and kissed him on the forehead. "Goodbye, Max. I really hope you would get that help."

She walked away from the bed and stopped on the way out. "If you care for me at all, Max...please tell me the truth? Do you love me like you love Maria? Do you ever love me like that?"

Max stiffened. After a long silence, he answered. "No...No...not as much as I love her. But I do love you, Liz...I do."

Liz smiled through her tears. "Thank you, Max." She wiped her tears away. "It is easier to move on when we have the truth in our hearts and made ourselves to accept it." She started moving again but stopped and faced him. "Maria belongs to Michael. He accepted and loved her unconditionally. They were good for each other...maybe going on perfect."

Liz turned and walked out. She didn’t stop until she reached her car. And then she cried for the love she had just ended...for the love she is leaving behind. The strange thing was that she felt good. For such a long time...she finally felt good.

********************

"What do you think?"

"Perfect! Kyle will fall in love with you all over again." Maria smiled and put back the spoon she used to taste Tess` cooking. She took a glance at her watch and frowned.

"Michael is picking you up, right?" Tess asked hesitantly.

"Yeah...maybe he had some things to take care of first." She smiled at her reassuringly.

"Kyle can take you home if Michael won’t be able to." She said softly.

"No...Kyle will stay here with you. It’s your night together...don’t worry, Michael will be here. And if he will not be, I can always take a cab." Maria smiled again and helped Tess with setting the table.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I didn’t want you to find out like that. I don’t hate you and I don’t hate Kyle...it’s just that I felt abandoned and lonely and unappreciated." Tess started to cry. "I’m sorry...I’m sorry..."

"Shhh...everything’s OK Tess. I understand. Don’t cry...you’re ruining your make up. I came here to help you on this preparation and I don’t intend to be a burden. I can take care of myself. And don’t beat yourself too much about that thing you said about Kyle and me...I totally understand. It’s just but natural. No offense taken. We’re friends, remember?" Maria found the facial tissue and handed it to Tess. "Now...let’s finish this, OK?"

Tess nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

As they finished everything, she told Tess to freshen up before Kyle arrived. She hoped Michael would come soon. Kyle would be arriving and she doesn’t want to ruin this night for Tess. She had no idea that Kyle would be proposing tonight. She prepared for this anniversary but Kyle had better plans. Tess would be showing soon and he wanted to make their commitment official. If Kyle would know that she is going home alone, everything will not turn out the way it should be. Tess would be hurt and she would feel guilty or Kyle would be very angry with her for just taking off.

As she looked out of the window, she saw Michael coming out of his car...with flowers in his hand. Her heart swelled with happiness. He was so perfect.

"He loves you very much." Tess commented from behind her.

Maria smiled. "I can’t ask for anything more. I’m so blessed to have him in my life."

"You are both blessed. You make him the happiest man alive." Tess said proudly.

Her smile faded. "No...I don’t. And I can't."

Tess touched her arm. "You do, Maria. Don’t let the past get in between you two. It was time to let go. You found the one. Michael is the one for you. He will be there for you no matter what."

Maria thought for a moment. Can she really let go of the past? Would the bad memories let her?

As the doorbell rang, Tess urged her to open the door for Michael.

And there he was...Michael...the only man who stayed even if she cannot give her all...the only man who loves her, not for her body but for who she is...no matter what her past is...no matter what the future holds.

And in that moment, she knew she could. Michael is the present and the future, and with time, everything in the past will be forgotten for it will be replaced with memories of her with Michael.

She greeted him with a kiss...a loving kiss...a kiss that holds a promise.

Part 10

More Than A Dream Come True

Michael discarded his shirt and tossed it in a chair and examined his reflection in the mirror. He chuckled to himself. How many times had he imagined himself and Maria making love in front of this mirror? He had lost count. He had taken her in each and every corner of all the rooms in the whole house...in his dreams...in his fantasy world.

Michael sighed. He had promised her and he intends to do what he promised. But sometimes it was too hard to ignore the stirrings in his body. Just like tonight, she was so responsive and uninhibited. If they were not in the car, he was not sure if he could have stopped. There was one time when the need to release was too much and he almost jerked himself off in front of her. Thankfully, they were just half naked and his trousers covering him had been a big help.

Michael closed his eyes and run his hands through his hair. Having her around all the time is enough for him. He can always take care of himself.

He smiled when he felt her arms surround him from behind. She was kissing his back and her soft bare breasts were pressing against him. Bare breasts? Michael stiffened. God help him!

He slowly turned around and gasped at the sight in front of him. A very naked Maria is standing in front of him. He was too aroused to speak.

She giggled. "Your mouth is open, Michael."

"Maria...I don’t think..."

"Don't think. Just make love to me..." Her hands moved to his chest, followed by her lips. He groaned with anticipation.

"Are you...sure?" He almost choked on the words.

She put her arms around him and trailed kisses along his broad chest. "I am...I am..."

Michael crushed her against himself and kissed her. His head and his heart are swirling with too many emotions. All the sweet torture is worth the wait. Maria is ready now. His heart is beating rapidly with joy.

Not taking his lips from her, he slowly moved to the bed and lowered her there. He was never aware of how fast he had taken his remaining clothes off but the next thing he knew, they were moving against each other’s skins.

Maria is writhing and moaning under him. He never realized how erotic that sounds. Bringing all thoughts aside, he continued his exploration of her body. He wanted it to be perfect for her. He wanted his name on her lips when she came.

When he finally joined their bodies together, he saw a tear slipped out from her eyes and he reached out and wiped it away. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She traced his lips with her fingers and pulled his head down and they were again kissing passionately. They moved against each other...they have the perfect rhythm.

With one final thrust, both of them reached heaven. "Michael..."

********************

Maria opened her eyes in the early morning light. Her whole body felt sore but in a nice sort of way. She smiled at the memory of the night. Michael had woken her up so many times all through the night with his hands and with his mouth. It was like he cannot get enough of her. Not that she was complaining. It was the most amazing night of her life. She had taken the final step to recovery. She had given herself fully to Michael.

Her hands automatically reached out for him but they fall on an empty side of the bed. She frowned. She sat up and called him softly. "Michael?"

No answer. Could it be that he had...

"How does breakfast in bed appeal to you?" Michael strode in carrying a breakfast tray. He put it in her lap and waited for her answer.

Maria smiled. "Michael...this is so sweet." She looked up at him and patted the space beside her. "Come here."

Michael sat down and was surprised when her hands went around his neck and he was given a resounding kiss on the lips. "Thanks..."

Michael watched her take her food. She picked on a toast and offered him a bite. "Nah...I had some when I was preparing that."

When she drank her juice, it left her lips moist and some droplets lingered on the side of her mouth. Michael moved and licked it and let his tongue lingered a little while. Soon the tray of food was set aside as he hovered above her. He kissed her tenderly.

"I love you, Maria."

"I love you, too Michael."

And they once again shared a wonderful moment of becoming one.

Some time later, when they were already too exhausted to move, Michael just held Maria in his arms. They both revel in the peace and quiet of being in each other’s arms.

"Michael..."

"Hmmm..."

"Was it...was it good for you?" He noticed the insecurity in her voice.

He cupped her face and made her look at him. "It was far beyond good." He kissed her nose. "It was more than my dream coming true." He traced her lips with his fingertips. "Thank you for letting me be your first."

"Michael...you know I'm not..."

"I am your first lover...I am your first time...everything we shared last night would make up the memories of our first time together..."

"I don’t know what good I have done to deserve you..." Maria muttered through her tears.

"We belong to each other, Maria. We deserved each other. We will always be together. Always." Michael pulled her closer and closed his eyes. He would love her forever...that was the last thought he had before falling into a deep sleep with Maria on his arms.

********************

Michael opened the door as their doorbell rang for the third time. His face held no emotion when he saw who the person was.

"What do you want?"

"I need to say goodbye."

Part 11

Closure

Michael opened the door wider and let Liz in. He watched her move to the living room where Maria was. He followed.

If Maria was surprised to see Liz, she didn’t show it. Michael went to the back of the couch where she was sitting and touched her shoulders. She smiled and put her hands over his but gestured for him to leave them. He was hesitant but Maria squeezed his hands.

"I'll be in the next room if you need me." He muttered and looked at Liz before going out of the room.

A heavy silence loomed between the two. Liz was the first to break it.

"I wonder what could have been if you and Michael had met first."

"We shouldn’t dwell with what ifs...they never helped. They just make situations more miserable."

"Yeah...I guess you’re right."

Another silence.

"Do you remember that time when you asked me what could possibly come between you and I that can ruin our friendship? And I told you that nothing or no one can come between us...that we would be friends forever. I guess I was so wrong after all..." Liz moved a little closer to Maria. "I let Max come in between us."

"Liz..."

"You are so perfect he can’t let himself forget you. Too perfect that you made it possible to let him ask me to marry him again even though he was after you all the time."

"I made mistakes, Liz. I kept things from you because I thought it will make everything right and it will make us all happy. I have finally found my happiness with Michael and I don’t want any more complications. I guess I became less of a friend to you back then...I was thinking more of myself. And I am so sorry for that. But I am still your friend, Liz...and will always be."

"I have long ceased to be your friend, Maria. All those times I come to your place with Max, something in me has been building up. I don’t want to feel that way but I did. I knew it was wrong but I let it continue until it was the only emotion I can feel towards you. I hate you and I hate myself for it."

"But that can only mean one thing...Liz...you still care. Somewhere deep down inside you...you still care." At her silence, Maria continued. "I never blamed you, Liz. You just need to let them all out and that time is your breaking point. You may or may not mean everything you’ve said...but the bottom line is that it made you loosen yourself up. I understand."

"Max was wrong...but he did it because he loves you too much to lose you."

Maria laughed bitterly. "I can’t believe that, Liz. After knowing and being with Michael, I think what Max felt for me is anything but love. But I won’t take any of my time thinking about him and his feelings. I used to feel guilty about everything that happened with all of us. I always blamed myself...I thought I was cursed and I brought you all with me. But I finally understood that at some point, I have to let go. We are the only ones who are in control of our lives. I was scarred a long time ago; it's taken me a long time to overcome that. I was lucky to have my mother and my friends beside me. I was blessed to have Michael...finally I am happy and carefree."

"Why didn’t you press charges?"

"Because of you...because of Max...because of everybody. I don’t know. Michael believes I am making a mistake...and maybe I am. But I think I wanted to give him a second chance to live his life. But I stopped at that...honestly I don’t care what happens to him now."

Liz nodded. "I'm leaving...alone...maybe I am not coming back. I came here to say goodbye."

"So I heard." Maria got up and stood in front of her. "I hope you find yourself again, Liz. It might take time but be strong...we are here if you need us."

Maria hugged her. Liz stood still. After some time, her hands came up and hugged her friend back. "Goodbye, Maria. I wish you and Michael the best."

They pulled back and stared at each other full of tears. "Thank you, Liz. Thank you."

********************

The smell of hospital used to make her upset. That is why she never got herself sick...she is always careful with her health. But this time it was different. She needed to do this...this one last step. She shivered at the thought of seeing him again. But she had to do this for herself.

Michael sensed her hesitation. He pulled her at his side and put his one arm around her shoulders. "He can't hurt you anymore, Maria. I won’t let that happen. But if you have doubts about this...we can just go back home.

"No...I’m OK. Just don’t leave me."

"You know I won't."

She held on to his hand and together they walked ahead and stopped in one of the private rooms. He saw her took a deep breath. He squeezed her hand with assurance. She smiled nervously and her hold tightened.

He brought his free hand to the doorknob and opened it for her.

Maria took another deep breath. This is it!

The room was gloomy. Maybe it matched the occupants` condition. Maria takes a good look at the man lying on the bed. She noticed how his eyes light up when he recognized her.

"Maria..." His voice had changed. It was tender...not the angry one she was used to hear all those years ago. "You came..."

Maria approached the bed slowly but not letting go of Michael’s hand. Her face was unreadable and she remained staring at the frail man on the bed.

"I was losing hope...I thought I’ll never get the chance of seeing you again. I never got to thank you for saving my life last time. If it weren’t for you...I wouldn’t have lived these last few years of my life. Thank you..." He never once took his eyes off her as if she would disappear once he did.

"You don’t have to thank me. You are responsible for my existence...I just gave back the blood you spared for me. I guess we’re quits." Maria replied still not showing any emotions.

"Maria...I know this won’t make any difference now but...I want you to know that I was sorry for what I had done to you. I have never forgiven myself for that monstrous act. I was living in hell knowing that somewhere out there my daughter is cursing me and wishing I am not her father..."

"And when did you finally realize you were a monster? Right after you raped me? Or years after when you were informed that it was the child you raped that solely matches your blood type and would only be the one that can save you?"

"Maria...I...I always believed you were not my daughter..."

"God damn you! Your daughter or not...you have no right to do what you did!" For the first time since they entered the room, Maria showed her deep hatred to his father.

&quo