by Catheryne

A fic that I spinned off from my own other show fan fiction. Future fic when the aliens have decided to try Destiny. Michael and Maria decided to part ways, and Maria left for New York and married Billy Darden. But things are not what they seem on the surface. Her reasons are deeper and more heartwrenching than Michael ever guessed. *ONGOING*

The unmailed letter flew out of the open window. The light paper floated in the air and rose, rose. It caught at a tree but was blown away until it reached past the clouds. The letter burst higher and rapidly fell, flying without control down the front of a beaten up old apartment. It lay on the ground. He knelt down and picked up the piece of paper up. And began to read the wind-carried message that felt oddly intended for him.
 
This isn't going to make me need you any less. And this sure isn't helping me forget about you. I know that you told me to go on. And I'm doing that.

Day after unending day.

Minute after torturous minute.

Until I would sit in front of the clock and watch the long hand's pursuit of the short. I watch them near and kiss and draw apart, and near and kiss and draw apart again in that timeless dance of ill-fated lovers. Hour after painful hour. If fate expected us to live like this, then she is too cruel. I know that we shouldn't be together. But if that's really so, why do we exist at all? Why do we live when the stars have written out that we have no course to follow, no other path to tread, except for that which leads us to the other? Are we being taunted?

I wonder what it is that you're doing right now. I wonder if you will look at the sky and confide your feelings to the stars. That is what I will whisper to the moon tonight--that I long for you.

Someone told me once that there is nothing in the world more tragic than never finding the one meant for you. Heartily I agreed. But I was a child then. I no longer am.

Today I know that something exists that is more painful than never finding. I’m unfortunate to have gotten so familiar with it.

Nothing on this earth, or on any other, is worse than finding the one who fulfills the void in your soul, then loving him and being loved by him, only to discover that you cannot be together, that snatches of time in an eternity is all that you can afford.

He traced the outline of a dried tear on the thin paper and sighed. The paper smoked and disintegrated in his hands. He could not control his powers when his emotions were high. It didn’t matter. The words were etched in his heart. He could recite it by heart. Even without knowing to whom it was for or from whom it was, he took out a pen and stationery and began his reply…
 
 

       The open window of her room let in the leaves blown in by the cool autumn breeze. And then a piece of paper flew in. The letter slid to the table and then onto the floor, hiding under the bed, seeking comfort from the darkness.

       She came in tired and sleepy. Almost immediately she fell onto the bed and closed her eyes. What force drove her to look under the bed, she would never know. Still, she squinted at the dark hollow beneath and could glimpse the flash of white. She reached out and took the paper and began to read.

I have no way to stop your pain. I’m dying too.

There has never been a moment that I don’t think of you. I guess I’m thankful. I’m grateful everyday that I still have the memories. But there are those moments, like now, that I curse those little details that make me ache more.

What are you doing right now, I wonder? Are you thinking of me? I told you not to. But how can I expect you to do what I said when I’ve broken that agreement a million times over, and continue to break a thousand times every minute?

The stars have become my best friends. I never thought I’d cry. But sometimes, you know, I do. The stars shine more brightly through the tears. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I’m looking at your eyes.

And that we never decided to break up.

I’m not good with words. You’ll never get a poem or a song from me to show you just how much I miss you. All I know to say is I love you. And though I don’t say it all the time you’ve seen it in my eyes a million times before. You sure acted like it. But love doesn’t seem to matter anymore. We’re being driven apart by a force we don’t even see.

We’ve struggled. We’ve fought. We’ve rejoiced and despaired at every reunion and at every division. And to keep us from suffering through another forced parting, I just decided to tear us up. Beat destiny to the punch. We’re both too strong to let it smack us on the face.

I’m hoping that all that strength I must have had in my past life come back to me now because I badly need enough courage and will to stay away from you. The moment I touch you again, I may never let go.

       She closed her eyes and tried to picture him. Very slowly she opened them and told herself not to be stupid. Letting go means not having to remember, because remembering will make her ache even more. He had told her this before he went. He tells her this every night in her dreams. She shook herself free from the thought. No dreams. She doesn’t dream of him. Not anymore. Or at least she would never admit it to herself.

       She wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself. Liz told her that he dropped by again, but she didn’t come downstairs to speak to him, or even smile at him. She had no patience for it. It was not him that she wanted to see. Let him go back inside his house and mope around. She had no use for his kindness, or for his unending generosity that resembles that of a brother.

       She missed the fire that only her Spaceboy could bring. Help me! But there wasn’t much anybody could do.

       “Why do you insist on staying here? At least brighten up the room a little.” The drapes were pulled open and she squinted at the brightness.

       “I’m thinking.”

       “Of him?”

       “Who else?”

       “Don’t. He doesn’t deserve it.”

       “You don’t understand.”

       “He shouldn’t have left you.”

       “He needed to. It was the only way.”

       Her best friend took her hands and pulled her towards the full length mirror. “Nobody has the right to leave anyone like this. Look at yourself.”

       She averted her eyes. There was no use. She already knew what was reflected there.

       “You’re a shadow. Nobody deserves this. Not you. Not even the man who does everything to make you come to him. He understands what happened. He’d been coming here for you everyday.”

       “Who told him?”

       “I did.”

       “He knows…everything?”

       “Everything.”

       “And he still comes.”

       “Because he loves you.”

       “I don’t love him.”

       “A man like that… It doesn’t take long to learn.” She took clothes from her cabinet. “Will you think about it?”

       “I will.”
 
 

       He read the letter over and over again, disbelieving. How could this be? There was no logical explanation for her to think these things. Whoever it was that she was crying out to, she must love him very much. Once more, he traced the trail of dried tear that served as the signature of the writer. He shook his head, deeply disturbed of what he had read.

The planets must be against me—no pun intended. There is no other explanation! But even while I think of this I know that it’s stupid. My despair are all my own. My mistakes, committed by me. And now even as I cry out I know he would never hear me. Because this is what we very arrogantly decided to do.

We’ve told ourselves that we can manage our time apart. But I haven’t even tried. Not really.

It breaks my heart that you are gone.

And now I will try to finally do what you asked. Today I’ll bury your memory, because that is where it belongs—deep within the recesses of our minds—back there in the dark where it will not find its way out.

I know I should look forward to this, but I can’t seem to. I still yearn for you with all my heart. Because whenever I close my eyes, I see your smile. And whenever I breathe, it’s your scent that fills me. I have to STOP remembering. I have to forget. I keep telling myself this but it seems that you’re right. I *am* a stubborn woman.

But you said I am determined too, so one by one I will burn those thoughts of you. I’ll do this, even if it’s only to stop my best friend from worrying. Who knows? If I learn to love him with even a piece of the heart I’ve dedicated to you, it would be more than enough.
 

       He paced. This is where everything goes into shit. When one settles for the second best, the betrayal begins. Hadn’t he learned that by now? He was sure that Cupid must be hyperventilating right now. Someone must save this girl from committing the greatest act of sin against Love.
 

       “You’re still so beautiful.”

       “Thank you.”

       “I cannot imagine any reason in the world that’s worth leaving you for.”

       “How about a reason outside Earth?”

       He laughs softly. “Only Heaven can keep me away from you.”

       She smiled. “Then it must be Heaven.”

       “Liz tells me that you’ve not been feeling well.”

       “I heard that she actually told you everything.”

       “Yeah well,” he coughed, embarrassed. Why should he be embarrassed? He’d done nothing wrong. “She did.”

       “How’s your music?”

       “Doing well. I have sheets and lyrics waiting for you to sing them.”

       “Are these yours?” She touched the petals of the two dozen roses arranged on the tall glass vase.

       “You don’t want to talk about it, do you?”

       “Is it that obvious?”

       “No. I just know you. You may not admit it to yourself, but I understand you.”

       “Go away, Billy. You don’t need this.”

       “I think it’s up to me to decide what I deserve or don’t.”

       “Do you really need this burden? Do you really want to be saddled with this? You’re an attractive free guy who has a future ahead of you. You shouldn’t be tied down with a problem you didn’t even ask for.”

       “Do I look like a man trembling and running away? I want this. I want to take care of you.”

       He was standing in front of her. And he touched her pale lips with a finger. Slowly he traced the hollows beneath her eyes and swore that he would take care of her. Her eyes closed, and he smiled. She must be very tired. He was glad his hands could calm her. She stood in front of him, letting him touch her. She smiled, and he took it as enjoyment. She was imagining her Michael again. She remembered the time when he gave her a massage, or all those times when he touched her face.

       “I want to take care of both of you.”

       She was tired. She hoped she doesn’t have an attack of migraine tonight. Her life was complicated enough as it was. She didn’t need that splitting headache that has been bothering her ever since he left half a year ago.

       Why should she be afraid to say his name? Oh yes. She didn’t want to get too familiar with it again. She has to push him back in her mind because remembering was needing. A breeze blew inside and she hurried to close the windows. As she shut it, a paper was caught in between. How could it be? She took the letter and read it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get over pain.

I keep trying to forget about love but I keep failing. Fell in love with someone I shouldn’t love. And it’s brought me such a freaking amount of pain. But I don’t regret because loving her was the most exhilarating moment of my life. It was the best part of my existence here.

When I read your words everything just got clear. You can’t let others affect your way of thinking. It’s your call if you want to settle for less. But I assure you that you will be committing a sin against yourself. Because when you’ve found the one for you, you must fight for that person forever—no matter what’s at stake.

       She closed her eyes. “You can say that, because you’re distanced. If you were a piece on this crazy chess I’m in now, you would be running for cover as we speak.” She walked towards the mirror and looked at herself. She was pale and frail. “If you could see me now, I wonder what you’d do.” She turned to her side and looked at her rounded belly. “You had no right to leave me like this. But then again, you had no idea, had you?”

She ran her hands over the mound. “Billy knows, baby, and he still comes and tells me that he’ll take care of us.” She walked over to the table and picked up the phone. “I would never consider this if it wasn’t for you. But I know that he’s a great guy, and you need to have at least a father.”

       “Maria, why don’t you have some of this soup?”

       “I don’t want to.”

       “You didn’t have lunch.”

       “I have no taste for food right now, Liz.”

       “Your doctor called. He said you missed your appointment today. He tells me it’s important so he rescheduled you for tomorrow.”

       “All right, thank you. But right now I need to call Billy. I need him to come over.”

~~

“What are you talking about? This has been my dream ever since I was thirteen! Of course I’m ecstatic!”

      “Please. Just let me finish.”

      “Alright. I’m sorry. But this, this is overwhelming.”

      “I know.” She motioned to the chair in front of her. “Sit down. As I said, if you really want to then I agree. I have no real choice left. I want my child to grow up with a father.” She takes a deep breath. “But this is more than that. This time I’ll be asking you a favor more than any other I’ve asked you before.”

      He took her hands between his. “What is it? Anything.”

      “And when you hear it, I want you to know that you’re free to get out of our agreement.”

      “That would never happen.”

      “It could. Come with me today on an appointment. Then when we come home this afternoon, you can tell me is you’re still in, or out.”

      “All right.”

      There was a knock on her bedroom door, and he rose to answer it.

      “Well hello, Billy. Maria around?”

      “Come right in.”

      “Hey, Liz. What are you doing here?”

      “I wanted to remind you of your appointment.”

      “Actually, Billy and I were just leaving to go there.”

      “You’re taking him?!” She looked at Billy’s grinning face.

     “He’s taking me really, but what’s the difference?”

      “What’s your schedule, Maria?”

      “She’s on in thirty minutes.”

      “Alright, let me get my jacket.” Before running for it, he kissed her on the lips, and she let him. Liz looked at her as though she were out of her mind.

      “Go home, Liz. Let me make my own mistakes.”

      Whispering furiously, her best friend responded, “If you know you’re making a mistake, why still do it?”

      “Someday, Liz, you’ll understand me.”

      “Ready to go?”

      Alone, Liz waited for thirty minutes. She had to do something. She picked up the phone and dialed.

      “Good afternoon. This is Liz Parker. I’d like to confirm if my friend was able to go to her appointment with Dr. Davis. Her name is Maria de Luca.”

      “Well, you should try calling local 423, Miss. Dr. Davis isn’t in this department.”

      “Isn’t this obstetrics?”

      “It is.”

      “My friend is having her baby checked with Dr. Davis.”

      “You must be mistaken, Miss Halliwell. Dr. Davis is our chief neurosurgeon.”
 

      He sat there on the waiting room chair, his head in his hands. “I just don’t understand.”

      She took him into her arms. “It’s life. I’ve known about it about the same time I got my pregnancy results.”

      He raised his head and looked at her with teary eyes. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? Is this why he left?”

      “He doesn’t know.”

      “Don’t you think this is a little unfair for him?”

      “Do you want out?”

      “No!”

      “Then don’t ask me these questions now.”

      “How long?”

      “A few months.”

      “A few months. Alright. What about Liz?”

      “I don’t want them to know.”

      “That will be hard, you know. Even after we get married they’d see you.”

      “Your boss is inviting you to play at his new club in LA.”

      “When you told me that you accepted my offer, I turned it down. I thought you would have wanted to stay close to them.”

      “Can you still accept it?”

      “Yeah.”

      “I don’t want you doing anything against your will.”

      “I thought this was a dream come true,” he whispered. “He left. You agreed to marry me. And there’s a baby on the way, I don’t care whose. But now this.”

      “I know it’s unfair to you—“

      “How about the baby? What will I do when—“

      “I know you’d be a wonderful father. You were such a fun guy, but I knew underneath the passion for what you loved most, you were responsible to the bone.”

      “Liz, your mom… They would want to see the baby when it’s born. By that time, you’d—“

      “We’ll worry about it when it comes.”

      “I don’t believe this is happening.”

      “Shhh. It’ll all work out.” He buried his face on her heck and started sobbing softly. She closed her eyes. At least I’ve spared you this, Michael. For that I’m thankful.

There are days when I blame myself for letting you go. There are times when I am tempted to call out to you. I want you to hear my distress and come to the rescue. But I don’t wish to be unfair. I want you safe. Sad, but safe.  As I wait for that time to come, I wonder what it would have been like, had you been here. I ask myself why I ever let you go and tell myself again and again. That choice was for your own good.

I wonder how my child will grow up. I cry when I think of a graduation, a wedding, a birth of a grandchild that I would not be able to attend, that I would be depriving you.
But when I look into his eyes and see the hollowness inside, my heart tells me that I did good. I would spare you the months of agony that he would now go through. I don’t wish to be unfair to him. I’ve given him an out. He wants so much to be a part of this, and whenever he smiles at me, I know I’ve given him fulfillment by making him suffer.

And now I begin to wonder if you would have wanted to be here, no matter how painful it is. Would you have chosen to stay with me? I have no doubt you would. But I also know that it would kill you more than it would him. Because that’s just how we are. We’re too much a part of the other. Now I look at it as if I’m only beginning to teach you how to live without me.
 

      “I can’t believe you’re getting married!”

      “Why are you acting like this? Liz, you’re the one who told me to consider Billy and to move on. I’ll learn to love him too.”

      “When do you move out?”

      “That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about. We’ll be living in LA.”

      “What?”

      He read the letter and crumpled it in his hands. How could he speak to her personally when he didn’t even know whom it was from? She was making a big mistake. If the man loved her as much as seemed to think he did, then he had the right to know.

      No more! He had to see Maria. He was going out of his mind. He passed by the apartment that he knew Liz and Maria shared. Liz got into a cab, and he followed closely behind. And then he lost her at the hotel. For an hour he searched for the brown head and he saw her finally sneak into a conference/ballroom.

His heart froze in his chest when he saw them. They were both seated on a presidential table at the front of the room. Why was she so thin and pale, dammit! She just got married! He saw the man slice the food carefully for her, and she daintily picked on it.

      Her eyes moved unerringly to look into his from the distance. He saw her catch her breath. She must have seen the betrayal he felt in his eyes. He turned away immediately and strode out of the room—and out of her life.

Part 2

      She never told anyone that she saw him that day. She moved with Billy to LA, and the baby was due to arrive in a month.

      The letters have stopped. She never expected them to continue. It was only a strange coincidence that every letter she received from the wind was written as though it was meant for her alone.

      Billy was the best husband she could have asked for. He went from playing at the clubs, his dream, to working at instrumentals at a local studio so he can come home at seven every evening with something for her. From the moment he entered the door, he’d always ask the same things, “How’s my baby and the mommy?” The days have become a ritual. She would greet him with a peck on the cheek and take his gifts.

      She had never seen Billy cry—not when the bigger boys taunted him in class, not when he accidentally peed during band camp recital. At least not until the night after their wedding. She was preparing a feast for him, because she owed him so much. She tinkered in the kitchen of their cozy home, and she felt the first prickles of pain. She shook her head and tried to ignore it. The phone rang.

      “Hello.”

      “Hey sweetie! I wanted to make sure you two got there alright.”

      “Yeah, we did. Billy is the epitome of a careful driver.”

      “Well, we miss you.”

      “I miss you too.”

      When she had placed the receiver on the hook, her new husband arrived.

      “Hey!”

      “Hi. Come here and sit down, honey. I made you a big dinner.”

      She was carrying a bowl of soup to the table when all of a sudden, a blinding shaft of pain raced through her brain. She automatically grabbed at her head, and the bowl dropped. The sound of glass breaking filled the silence, and she felt the hot soup burn her feet.

      “Ohhh. Ahh.”

      “Maria. Maria, are you alright?”

      She clutched at his shirt and held on. “The pain,” she hissed. “Billy, it’s getting so much worse.”

      “We’ll go to the hospital.”

      “They can’t do anything about it. This is just how it goes. It’ll stop in a while. Would you hold me? Ahh!”

      “Shhh.” Billy took her in his arms and rocked back and forth until the pain abated. “Is it gone?”

      “Yeah,” she answered weakly. She rested her head on his shoulder, unable to raise it so she could look at him.

      “This will happen for the next months, won’t it?”

      “Until I die.”

      He didn’t answer for a long while. “I’ll be with you through this. Heaven help me.”

      “Thank you.”

      “How will I be able to go through all this?”

      She had finally gathered enough energy to face him. She lifted her hands and wiped away his tears. “Don’t cry, Billy. If I knew you couldn’t take it, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

      “I can take it, Ria. I just haven’t thought of months watching you fall apart.”

      “Hey. Let me up. You haven’t had dinner yet, and I made this all for you.”

      “Let me help you.”

      “No. You sit down there and wait.”

      He watched her move around her kitchen. He picked everything out for her convenience, from the cabinets to the stoves to the smallest utensil. He’d have done everything for her. As she brought the mean over to the table, she caught him staring at her and blushed.

      “I’m gonna miss you, Maria.”

      She wanted to cry, but all she could do was smile in return. That was the first time she saw him overcome with emotion. In the months following, she was to see it more often. As the pain got worse, they became more and more dependent on each other.

      Every night, when the pain got out of hand, he’d hold her tightly on the bed, letting her scream as much as she wanted. He’d soothe her with stories that she hardly heard. Soon, they’d both fall asleep, crying, holding on to each other.

      More than ever, she needed Michael. Every time she’d think of a way to call him, the pain would attack from behind, and in the aftermath, she would tell herself that she wanted to spare him from that.

      “What is it?”

      “A boy, Mr. Darden. It’s your first son.”

      “My wife.”

      “She’s inside. You may come in now.”

      Billy entered the room and saw her sleeping. He sat beside her bed and touched her hand. She was so pale now.
      All those sleepless nights were showing. Her lips looked so dead, but she was still beautiful to him.

      “I wanted to die, Billy,” she whispered.

      “I thought you were asleep.”

      “No. I was just resting my eyes.”

      “It couldn’t have been that bad, Ria. Many women go through this without wanting to die.”

      “No, I meant, the past few weeks, I was praying for my death. This whole thing is too hard. It’s painful for me. It’s painful for you.”

      “No matter how painful they were, we were together. And I’m grateful for that. So don’t say that. We’ll take every single minute possible. If we can, we’ll bargain for more.”

      “That’s just what I mean. Before the baby was born, I just wanted to get this over with. Now I’m so scared. I don’t want to go, Billy.”

      “I love you. Do you want me to call your mom and Liz so they can come meet their nephew?”

      “No! Look at me, Billy. They’d know at once. They can meet him after.”

      “We don’t know how long that would be. Hopefully not very soon.”

      Maria closed her eyes and turned onto her side. “Ask them if I can have my baby, Billy.”

      He left and the phone rang. Maria groaned as she reached to pick it up.

      “Hey! Why didn’t you call us?”

      “How did you know?”

      “No one was answering your line at home so I called your neighbor. She said you two left yesterday for the hospital. What was it?”

      “It was a boy, Liz.”

      “Oh! I am so excited! I can’t believe it. You have a little boy! So does he look like you or Michael?” Silence. “Maria, I’m sorry.”

      “Don’t come here. Billy and I have a few things to work out. We’ll call you when you can come.”

      “Maria, I’m so sorry.”

      “It’s fine, Liz. I’ll tell you whose features the baby has as soon as I see him. And please forget that Michael’s the dad. I don’t want my child growing up questioning who he is. I won’t always be here to comfort him. I don’t want you confusing him.”

      “Hey, Ria, look here. Is this a tooth?”

      Maria opens her eyes and looks at Billy carrying Tyler. “Sweetie, he’s only three months old. He can’t possibly be teething.”

      “Hmm. Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’ll just bathe this little man.” He bends to kiss her. “Are you going to write again? Would you like me to mail them for you?”

      “No, no. It’s just some scribbling. Nothing important.”

      “Will you make a letter for Tyler? I want him to be able to read your writing when he’s grown up.”

      “I have a box full of letters for Tyler, Billy. When you teach him how to read, then he can practice on them. Did you have the film developed?”

      “Yeah I did. You’ll put them on the photograph album for me?”

      “Of course. Let me hold the baby for a while.” He hands her the baby, and she rocks him gently. “I hate this. I hate this calm preparation we’re doing. I hate accepting it like this. I can’t even get up from the bed anymore without you to help me. It’s telling me that this is almost over.” And I still haven’t seen him again. I haven’t said goodbye.

      “Maria, I love you and Tyler. You have nothing to worry about. When it gets too painful, just let go. I’ll take care of our son.”

      “Get him, Billy. It’s starting again. Wash him, and don’t get him out until it’s over. I don’t want him hearing me.”

      He took the baby from Maria and shut the door of their bedroom. He prepared the bath and began washing Tyler. He could hear her screaming. He knew she was trying to be quiet, because most of her cries were muffled. He breathed in deeply, harshly. This would be over soon.
 

Billy took the baby inside the room.

       “Hello, mommy. We’re all washed up.” Billy stood in front of the bed and saw the photos scattered around a sleeping Maria. He smiled and put the baby on the cradle in the far side of the room. “Now be quiet, Tyler Darden. Your mommy’s sleeping.” He proceeded to pick the snapshots of Maria and Tyler and stacked them on the table. He noticed that her head was not on the pillow. Gingerly, he lifted her head and put the pillow underneath.

       He went to the baby. “Come on, Tyler. Let’s go downstairs. I don’t want you suddenly yelling your head off and disturbing mommy.”

       He kissed Maria and took Tyler downstairs. A few hours later, Billy woke to the shrill sound of the alarm he placed beside his head. His ears were ringing. Luckily, Tyler seemed to be out of it. The baby never even stirred. It was five o’clock, time for Maria’s medications. He ran to the kitchen for some water and took one look at Tyler’s position. No chance of him falling from that crib.

       He opened the door to her room, surprised that she had not even moved.

       “Honey. Honey, it’s time for the capsule.” She didn’t move. His heart raced. He put down the water and the medicines and grabbed her hand. He felt for a pulse. There it was, faint but steady. She moved his head closer to her face. She was still breathing. They’ve been waiting for this. Maria has taken him step by step to what he should do when this happened. Like a robot, he called the hospital for an ambulance. He then packed some clothes in their overnight bag and called the neighbor to see if she can keep the Tyler while they were gone. And then he added something else to the rote. Maria didn’t want this, but there had to be some closure.

       “Liz, get Mrs. DeLuca to come with you over to LA right now. Drop everything. Get here as soon as you can.”

       “Why?”

       “It’s Maria.”

       “Is she letting us see the baby already? She’s been pretty aloof since you two got married.”

       “For Heaven’s sake, Liz, just get here. Do you have any idea how I can contact Michael?”

       “Why do you ask?”

       “I need him to be here too. Don’t ask too many questions.”

       “Well, I’ll call him for you.”

       “Fine. Get here as soon as you can.”

       Even when he was young and a pingpong ball of many foster families, Michael had not felt this alone. It has been months since she married him. He couldn’t forget how they looked together. They were such a handsome couple, sitting there, behind the table. He almost wished he never left her.

       He heard someone calling his name. He answered the door, and faced a beautiful petite woman he had not seen for a long time. “What is it?”

       “You have to come with us to LA. Billy called and he wants us there.”

       “No.”

       “No?”

       “I will not go with you to see them. I don’t want to see her in her new house. I don’t want her to smile knowing that it’s him that made her happy!”

       “What if Maria needs us?”

       “I’ll take you there and then I’ll leave.”

       “It’s your choice, Michael.”

       “She probably won’t wake up anymore. She’ll slip away unconscious.”

       “So there’s no chance that we’ll have an extension?”

       “I’m afraid, Mr. Darden, that your wife has reached the stage where there’s no going back. If she wakes up, then you could take it as a sign that there’s a possibility. But in most cases even if the patients wake up, they still pass away that same time. So if there are anyone you think should be here, ask them to come. If Mrs. Darden does wake up, encourage her to talk to you. I don’t mean to dash your hopes, but it may well be for the last time. Even she knows that.”

       “I already did.”

       “Mrs. Darden gave birth here not so long ago, didn’t she?”

       “Three months.”

       “Well Mr. Darden, have your baby sent for. Maybe the child would comfort her while she’s passing on.”

       Billy picked up the receiver and dialed.

       “Mrs. Weaver? Yes, this is Billy Darden. I’d like to ask you a favor. Could you bring Tyler over to the hospital? Yes. His mother’s not going to make it. I want him here at least. Thank you, ma’am. You’ll never know how much this means to me.”

       “Here we are,” Michael announced when he stopped in front of the hospital. “This is where the neighbor sent us. I’ll leave now.”

       “Don’t you even want to see how she is? The fact that I couldn’t find Mrs. DeLuca anywhere doesn’t bother you? If she needs us, we should be there.”

       “And risk knowing that she’s pregnant? I don’t think so.”

 “You make your own choices, Michael. If you want to leave, then leave.”

       After asking for Maria’s room number, Liz immediately went to the elevator, holding hands. She entered her room and was met by Billy, who looked harried.

       “You’d better say your goodbye,” he told her quietly.

       Liz stared up at him, confused and alarmed. “What’s going on?” she demanded.

       “Brain tumor. She’d known even when she was still with you.”

       “Why didn’t she tell us?”

       “She didn’t want you to worry.”

       Liz pushed her way to Maria’s side. “Honey. Maria, honey.” She wasn’t responding to the litany of endearments that they had ever shared as kids. Her tear-filled gaze went back to Billy. “That’s why you moved.” The epiphany came late.

       “Yes. Liz, she might not wake up.”

       “No, no. She must have been waiting for me at least. Look.”

       Maria’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey,” she whispered weakly. “So Billy called you. I told him not to.”

       “What are you talking about? We want to be here. We’ll help you pull through.”

       “Liz, I’m dying. I’ve known it for almost a year now. Why do you think I asked Michael to go?”

       “Maria…”

       “Billy. I—I want to see--my baby.”

       “Mrs. Weaver will bring him soon. Don’t talk anymore. Conserve your energy.”

       Michael slammed the car into reverse. He couldn’t help it. Now that he was so near, he couldn’t help himself from going to her. He asked the nurse at the information desk for directions.

       “I can’t hold on too long, Billy. Thank you for everything.”

       He picked up her hand and touched it to his lips. “My married life was beautiful, no matter how short it was.”

       “Don’t cry. I told you. Don’t cry,” she whispered. “Take care of the baby, Billy. I know you will. I trust you.”

       “You’ll never have to worry about Tyler. I’ll show him all the pictures and all the letters. I’ll make him sit through the home videos we took. He’ll never forget you, Maria.”

       Liz swallowed the knot in her throat and turned away. This was what real shock felt like then. They were both still numb.

       “I love you, Maria.”

       There was a slight pause, and then a smile. “Thank you, Billy.”

       For the last time, he pressed his lips to hers. “Liz, I think you should talk to her now.”

       “Maria, you should have told me,” the brunette cried, with the trace of betrayal in her voice that she could not quite suppress. “I would have wanted to be with you through all this.”

       “No. I didn’t want you exposed to this. Billy should have done as I asked and called you only for the interment.”

       “I would have hated him for that. Maria, I love you.”

       “I love you, Liz.”

       Out in the corridor, Michael walked briskly, looking for the room.

       “Tell—tell Michael. Tell Michael that I—“

       Michael turned the knob on the door and stepped in.

       “love him.”

       “Maria? Maria? Billy, she—“

       Billy rushed out to get the doctor and Michael stood there, staring in disbelief. He was pushed from the doorway when a team of nurses, interns and doctors rushed in to try and revive her. Michael ran his hands over his face. The medical team stopped and left.

       “I wanted to see her.”

       “You’re too late,” Liz’s accusing voice rang in his ears.

       “I can see that.” Michael moved forward to look at the woman lying there, as pale as the sheets.  “Dammit! Why didn’t any of you tell me? Why didn’t she come to me? To Max? He could have stopped this!”

       “Mrs. Weaver. Thank you for bringing Tyler over in such short notice.” Billy took the baby into his arms.

       “How is she?”

       “She’s gone, ma’am,” Billy informed the old woman.

       “Oh the poor girl. She’s always been sad, hasn’t she? Always looking out the window, flinging papers in the air.” Michael glanced at the older woman. Mrs. Weaver walked over and brushed the blonde hair away from her forehead. “Sleep tight, dear. Maybe you’ll find up there what you’ve always been waiting down here for.” The old woman patted Billy’s arm. “You take care of your little boy now, William Darden, or she’ll never get her peace. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

       Michael was looking at the child in Billy’s arms. How long have they been married? Six months?

       “Look, Tyler. There’s mommy,” Billy spoke gently to the child. “Say bye mommy. Bye.”

       “Can I hold him?”

       Billy handed Tyler over to Liz, and she looked down at the baby. “Hey, Tyler.” The baby opened his eyes wide and Liz caught her breath. She quickly looked at Michael.

       “Give me Tyler, Liz.” Billy moved forward to take the child from her.

       “Let me see him, Liz.” Since he was nearer, Michael was able to take the child from her. His own face stared back at him, the baby’s soft brown eyes unwavering as it met the bigger versions. “He’s mine.”

       “It’s my son, Michael. I can show you the birth certificate. I have all legal rights to keep him.”

       “I don’t give a fucking damn about a piece of paper, Billy. You and I both know it’s my baby.”

       “Leave, Michael.”

       Michael sat on his chair and closed his eyes. Maria was gone. He never even suspected. He had one last job to finish. He would never let Billy keep the only remaining part of Maria.

      Dammit, sweetheart. Why didn’t you tell me?

       He ordered a plan in his mind. He would take the baby and raise him somewhere across the country, and they would move every three months. They would run from Billy and they would run from friggin FBI. Billy would never find him. But was that fair to Tyler?

       He saw a paper floating by the clouds, and he remembered that his window was closed. He opened the window and jumped up to grab it.

       He received the shock of his lifetime. He saw his name carefully written on the top of the page.

Spaceboy,
 
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. I’m hoping that in some way, you already know. But I’m still writing this to keep myself sane. Not being able to talk to you is driving me mad.

Everytime I look at our baby I remember what it was like to be held in your arms. Because he is so like you. You must be wondering why I never told you about him. I didn’t find out until you left. And I couldn’t go through another goodbye. I know you would have come if you knew.

I never mentioned to you the pain and agony of the last months simply because I’m selfish. I didn’t want you to see me like that. I take pride in being the most beautiful woman you’ve ever known. Well maybe not the most beautiful really. You’ve know Iz so long and she’s… The point is, you’ve told me over and over that for you, I am the loveliest. And even now I hold on to the memory of how you said that…
 
But most of all, Michael, I wanted to shield you. You didn’t deserve to see me crumble. You didn’t deserve to watch me die.

Please, Michael, leave the baby to Billy. You and I both know his future is best secured as his son. Billy loves Tyler. From the moment he saw him inside me, he’d seen Tyler as his. Don’t break his heart by taking the baby. He has done so much for me. There is no life for a growing boy running from a heritage he never asked for. And Billy knows everything that I want for him. Billy will devote his time to Tyler. If the two of us raised him, we would have destroyed him by our absences. I chose him because I trust him. Believe me, no matter how much you hate his guts, Billy would be an exemplary mother and father to Tyler. He will allow you to see him whenever you want. I told him to make you godfather. But please do not confuse the boy. He is Tyler Darden, Billy’s son. I’m sure you will do and say nothing that would disturb our baby.

I love you.

~~

Michael knocked on the Dardens’ door five years later. Billy welcomed him inside with a smile.

“We’ve been waiting for you, Michael.”

“Where’s the little guy?”

“Hey, Tyler! Uncle Michael’s here!”
 
“Uncle Michael! Look what mom got me for my birthday last June.” The boy came running the stairs.

Michael looked askance at Billy.

“It’s one of the arrangements we made. A gift each year. She picked out everything and she hid them everywhere. The home videos tell him where to look.”

They watched the child as he ran down the stairs. “Be careful!” They looked in horror as the boy tripped and went flying. As the boy went what? Ummm… floating then. Much like Max levitated Michael back in New Year’s.

“Hey, look! I’m not falling!” Billy’s jaw slackened. The child lost his grip on the miniature plane and it began to drop. “No! My plane!” In front of their disbelieving eyes, the plane stopped in mid air for a few seconds, before gently landing on the floor.

“What the—“ Billy stared at Tyler and the plane, blood leaving his face.

Michael grinned. Well Maria, you didn’t really take this into consideration, did you? “Tyler, come here to Uncle Michael.” It seems that I have to take our son under my guidance—once and for all.

He looked at Billy, and saw that he was still having a hard time believing it. The child immediately grinned at Michael. “I can’t, Uncle Michael.”

“Put your arms to your sides slowly, Tyler. Not so fast, or you’ll fall.”

The child did as told and slowly touched the floor. “That was good, Uncle.” His eyebrows creased and he looked at Michael imploringly. “Did you bring me anything?”

“I don’t believe this.” Michael had almost forgotten about Billy. He was so thrilled at the prospect of spending time with Tyler. He’s keeping his son now. There was no way Billy could possibly take care of a five year old boy with otherworldly powers. “I don’t believe this,” Billy muttered.

“Come here, Tyler.” Tyler immediately jumped up into Michael’s arms. “Believe it, Billy. Tyler’s a very special boy. And I know you can’t possibly care for him now. So I’m taking him.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not taking my son anywhere!”

Michael’s jaw locked. He placed Tyler down and stared at Billy squarely in the eye. “Go upstairs, Tyler. I’ll follow you later.” The boy leapt and was floating again. Michael grinned. He saw the boy touch the floor at the highest step. He was such a fast learner. “Your son?”

“He’s my son where it counts. Take him away and I’ll have you arrested for kidnapping.”

“My own son?”

“You know as well as I do that Maria wanted that boy with me.”

“Are you blind? That boy has something you would never understand!”

Billy glared at Michael. “It doesn’t matter. Maria left the boy to me and I’ll be d-amned if I let myself get scared off and break my promise to her!”

“Shit!” Michael walked out and slammed the door. Billy sighed in relief. His mind was restless. He couldn’t believe what he saw. And Michael took it so calmly! Tyler was his son! He almost had a heart attack when the door suddenly burst open and Michael stood there, carrying his bags. “Where’s your guestroom, Darden? I’m moving in.”
 
“What do you mean you’re moving in?” Billy demanded, glaring down at the bags.

“Just that. I’m moving in.” Michael walks inside and begins to climb the stairs.

“What gives you the right to move into Maria’s and my house?”

Michael ignored the pain that stabbed through him at that reminder. He’d have a hard time already just staying with Billy. He didn’t need to be told again that this was the house that Billy bought for her when they got married.

“I think the fact that my son is here is right enough.”

“Michael, how many times do I have to tell you to shut up with that!? I don’t want Tyler to hear. You can’t disrupt his life like this! I want you to leave.”

Michael puts down his bag and walks to face Billy. “My son needs me. Now I’m giving you a choice. I stay here and attend to whatever he needs to know in this house or I take this matter to court and demand that Tyler be tested for paternity.” Michael didn’t want Tyler thrown into a legal battle either, but he couldn’t let Billy cut him out of his son’s life when he was needed most.

“Fine.” Billy gave up the argument, but not without showing his displeasure. He jutted a thumb towards the stairs. “You can stay in the room beside Tyler’s.” Michael went upstairs to settle in. The phone rang, and he ignored it, waiting for the machine to pick it up.

“Hey, Billy, sweetie! Liz and I were wondering if we could drop by this weekend and snatch Tyler away. We’re—“ Billy picked up the phone.

“Yeah, Isabel. Sorry about that. I was…taking a bath.”

“It’s okay. So what do you say?”

“When did I ever say no to you two? Anyway, I needed to talk with the two of you. When can I expect you? I’ll prepare then.”

Billy ran up the stairs two steps at a time when he found Michael standing outside Tyler’s door. “What is it?”

Michael motions for him to be quiet. “Do you hear that?”

“Oh, that. That’s just Tyler talking to himself. He does that often.”

“And you’re not worried? You should be talking to him about—“

“Look, Guerin. I agreed to this because you gave me no choice. But never, never tell me how to raise Tyler.”

“Aren’t you even a bit concerned after seeing what you saw down there?”

Billy sighed. “I’ve seen weird things in my life, but this tops it all. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always love Tyler, no matter what. So what is he?”

“Well, Billy, as I told you before, he’s a very special boy.” Billy didn’t reply. “Tyler… his blood isn’t all human.” Michael’s lips curved. “Coz neither am I.”

“Maria’s more human than you could possibly know. So if you mean that you’re… Don’t feed me that Roswell crash bul--”

Michael merely raised his eyebrows, waiting for Billy to convince himself after what he had seen.

“Let me guess. The other guy, Maria’s friend Max, and Liz’s friend Isabel are too, weren’t they?”

“Liz’s friend Isa—“ Michael’s brows furrowed. He’s not known Isabel and Liz were close. Apparently, the two have formed a bond since they started visiting here behind his back. “That’s right.”

“So nobody ever told me this before,” Billy said, carefully selecting his words so he won’t appear like he didn’t believe or that he believed too much. There were many things he was, but a psycho he wasn’t. “What makes it alright for you to tell me now?”

Michael glanced at the door again. “Truthfully, I’m trying to scare you enough to release Tyler into my care. I can take care of him the way you could never do.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Everything I’m doing right now, whatever it is I’m admitting to you so openly, I am doing because I have to be better for that kid,” he expressed, echoing words he had once told the boy’s mother. Michael continued on with his lengthy explanation, and Billy never once blinked an eye. It would have been better if he yelled, Michael thought. Because by his silence, Michael couldn’t figure out if he was following or not. When it was over, Billy ran his hands over his eyes.

“So Tyler’s—“

“A human-alien hybrid,” Michael said carefully, watching for any abrupt reactions. “Do you think you’ll give him to me now?”

“He’s my son.”

“Actually—“

“Fine! But I told you. I’ll never break a promise. Maria will always look for our son from me.”

“Then I’m staying.” Billy knocked on the door and opened it. Michael and Billy walked in. “Hey buddy, what’re you doing?”

“I’m playing with mommy’s plane.”

“We thought you were talking to somebody.”

“Oh yes. I was talking to a lady.”

“What lady?”

“The lady who always visits me after daddy tucks me in.”

“Tyler, son, there’s no lady in this house. You must have been dreaming of your mommy again. How did she look like?”

“Pretty.”

“See? I knew it. That was your mommy. You were dreaming.”

“Hey, I have news,” Michael interrupted.

“What news, Uncle Michael?”

“I’m staying with you and your… and Billy for a while.”

The little boy whooped in delight. “In my room?”

“No.” The boy frowned. “In the one beside this.”

“That’s across from mommy’s.”

Michael looked askance at Billy. “I converted our bedroom to Maria’s and moved to the other one. I couldn’t stay there after—“ Billy cleared his throat. “Okay, Ty, I gotta go for a while. I’ll call Mrs. Weaver to stay with you, ok?”

“Awww, daddy. Don’t call me Ty.”

“What’s the need? I’m here. I’ll look after Tyler.”

Part 3

Michael entered the room across from his after Tyler fell asleep. The moment he entered, he sensed her presence. The room was full of framed pictures of Maria and Tyler, all taken by Billy obviously. He walked towards the dresser and sat down. He pulled open the drawer. Her brushes, lipstick and make up were all there. On the table a bottle of Cypress oil sat. He touched it. Instantly he knew that Billy touched nothing here except for his own things for five years.

He padded over to the closets. He opened them and touched her clothes. Curious, he opened a box at the bottom and pulled out a maternity gown. He pressed the cloth against his face and breathed in.

“Maria.” His heart was getting heavier and heavier. “I miss you so d-amn much. Time doesn’t dull the pain at all.”

“Uncle Michael?”

He turned around and saw Tyler standing by the door. “What are you doing up, Tyler?”

“I was thirsty.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

“Why were you crying?”

“I miss your mommy.”

“Oh I do that too, especially when I’m here. Because I don’t remember all those pictures. And daddy says that that’s mommy, and that baby’s me.”

“He was right, your daddy.”

“Yup.”

“Wanna go grab some ice cream?”

“Won’t daddy be mad?”

“Nah.” Michael grinned and picked the boy up and brings him to his room. “I’ll handle your daddy. Tyler.” He started changing the boy’s clothes.

“Yes, Uncle Michael?”

“Why don’t you call me daddy too? Uncle Michael’s quite a mouthful for a little boy like you.”

The boy considered that for a moment. “Is it okay with daddy?”

“Only when your dad’s not around.”

“Ok.”

“And you know what you did to your plane?”

“I stopped it,” the boy boasted.

“I don’t want you doing that to everything and everywhere, okay?”

“I know. The lady told me.”

“Tyler, you have to get over this lady business. There’s no lady in this house. There’s only you and me and Billy.”

“But there really was a lady in my room. She had long brown hair and she smiles very prettily.”

“Like how.”

“Just like mommy.”

“You never met your mommy.”

“But she looked just like mommy.”

“But mommy’s gone, Tyler.”

“I know! Let’s go visit mommy instead of going for ice cream.”

Michael smiled at Tyler’s eager face. He’d never met a kid who wouldn’t trade ice cream for anything. “That’s a good idea! Come on. We’ll buy some flowers.”

The boy grinned back at his father, and Michael couldn’t help but be amazed at how alike their features were. “We have flowers already, Unc—daddy.” Michael felt a thrill go up his spine upon hearing the word. “My other dad made mommy a garden at the back. You always used to come here but you never see it.”

The boy pointed in the direction of the kitchen. Michael walked forward with Tyler in his arms. Not long after, he was able to see the door at the far side of the room. He opened it and caught his breath. The scent filled his nostrils and he closed his eyes. It reminded him of Amy’s shop, that section of aromatherapy and oils that Maria loved to stay in. She always told him that that was the only spot in the alien memorabilia-infested room that made her feel secure.

“Billy did this for Maria?” The question was rhetorical, but his son answered anyway.

“Daddy and mommy started planting even before I was born,” the boy narrated as if from memory. “And mommy would sit over there when she was tired,” pointing to a dusty wooden rocking chair beneath the trellis, “and let daddy massage her feet. She was always tired,” the child matter-of-factly related. “She was having me and she was very sick.”

Sometimes Michael envied Tyler for not having known Maria. Never being able to touch her or stay close to her, Tyler didn’t drown in memories every time she was talked about. But then again Michael pitied the boy for that same reason. He would never trade those memories for another lifetime.

“But mommy died so daddy was left alone with me. Daddy always went here to cry and he would give me to Mrs. Weaver because he didn’t like to see me.”

“That’s not true, Tyler. Billy loves you more than anything in the entire world.”

“But he always leaves me.”

Michael begins cutting flowers to bring to Maria. “Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a king and a queen…” Michael cleared his throat. He’d give Billy this much. Only this much. “Make that a brave general and his wife, who had a beautiful baby boy, whose name was Tyler.” The boy grinned, and Michael was encouraged. “But a bad person came—“

“An alien!” Tyler offered, remembering the dirty guys his daddy used to hang out with, especially around the time they were gonna celebrate mommy’s birthday.

Michael laughed softly. “Aliens aren’t necessarily bad, you know.”
 
“But when daddy reads me a fairy tale, it’s always the alien who’s the bad one, coz Mommy came from Roswell and all...”

“Not in my stories. In my stories, aliens are strong young men and pretty blonde young women. They’re nice and generous and loving.”

“What’re the bad ones called then?”

Michael thought for a while and grinned. “Punks.” Having grown up with Billy’s crowd, he had no doubt Tyler had been exposed to the kind once and again.

“Oh.” The boy gave him a lopsided grin that was so Maria’s, and Michael’s heart warmed. He knew the boy must be thinking of the rockers that Billy would have gone out with sometime.

“Shall I continue?” The boy nodded eagerly. “So the bad person, the punk, comes and makes her very sick. The general didn’t know what to do. He called the doctors in the whole planet, but none could save his wife. And she told the general not to let their son, Tyler, starve or want for anything. So the general worked and worked and worked so his promise to his wife would not be broken.”

Michael stopped and waited for the child to get his drift. “And then what happened?”

Michael cleared his throat. He wasn’t really used to the little kids. He’d have thought Tyler got the moral of the story by now. “And then he was hurt because he thought that his daddy didn’t like him. And he went to the garden with his other dad and—“ Michael saw the boy hang his head and blush. He sighed in relief. “So let’s go?” The boy nodded, and Michael took his son’s small hand in his.
 

“I cannot believe you made me bring all these stuff, Isabel. These clothes are too heavy!” Isabel batted her eyes at her companion. “Thank you for being so nice, Liz.”

“Vanity is a sin, you know.”

“Come on, lighten up.”

Isabel and Liz stepped onto the foyer and rang the bell. They waited several minutes and heard cursing from inside the house. Liz shook her head dramatically. The door finally opened to reveal an aproned Billy carrying a spatula with a big growl that quickly faded when he saw who they were.

“Hey, you two—“

Isabel burst out laughing, and Liz tried very hard to contain her smile. “Got hit by a flour truck?”

“Come in, girls. I need your help. Someone in this house is finicky about his food and I can’t seem to get this right. Taste this, will you? What’s it lacking?” He led them to the darkened kitchen.

“What happened?”

“Light blew out. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fixed in no time. So what’s wrong with it?”

Isabel scratched at her head. “I wouldn’t know. Jesse always takes care of the take-out for us.”

Liz shook her head and grinned. “And we don’t exactly cook gourmet at the Crashdown.”

“I would add a pinch of cinnamon in the batter.” They all turn around and saw Michael standing on the doorway, holding a bulb.

“Michael?” Isabel and Liz look at Billy then Michael, and back again. “You two are…in the same house…alive?”

Michael uses his powers to levitate and screw the bulb into the slot on the ceiling. “Dammit, Michael, didn’t we agree that no powers in the house?”

Isabel motioned for Liz to sit down, and they watched the exchange between the two men. Michael scratched his head and began explaining why it was inconvenient to haul a ladder when he could do it easier. Billy’s point was that he didn’t want Tyler exposed to the powers while Michael told him it’s too late to worry about it. Isabel and Liz are speechless, hardly following the flow of conversation and were still struck by the fact that Billy didn’t freak out when the bulb floated.

They see Tyler standing shyly at the corner and everyone stopped. “Tyler, honey! You’ve grown so big. Come here to Aunt Isabel and Aunt Liz.” Tyler walked forward and embraced them. Liz set the boy away to look at him. “Look at that! How uncanny! You look exactly like—err…” She darts a look at Michael, Billy and Isabel, who were all waiting tensely about how she would finish it. “Just like your mom.”

Tyler smiled. “Mom’s got blonde hair. And she’s got green eyes.”

“Well,” Liz replied. “You’ve got this nice spiky brown hair which isn’t that far from blonde in the…umm..in the international color wheel. And you’ve got those nice brown eyes. Brown…green… what’s the difference, huh?” Liz grinned.
 

“So, when are you taking us to the cemetery?”

“Why don’t you two go and wash up? I’ll bring you over as soon as I get Tyler dressed.”

“You left me high and dry, ‘Ria. I keep saying I loved you, but you always thanked me. I had no heart to tell you it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t complain, because after all, you married me. But did you have to say it? Did those have to be your last words?”

Billy replayed the scene over and over in his mind. “I was there for you. Why couldn’t you have given me that consideration?!” He heard her voice in his mind, weak. She was almost gasping for breath then. Her last words. “Tell Michael—tell Michael that—I love him.” He shook his head wildly. “Why couldn’t you have said that to me? Not once in all the months we were married. You never once told me you reciprocated, Maria.” He took several calming breaths. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, honey. I got a little carried away. But I love you so much. And it doesn’t matter that you loved him, not me. Because we still ended up together, didn’t we?”

“Billy! We thought you’d be working!”

Billy’s head snapped up, and he hastily wiped the tears away. He touched Maria’s name and turned around. “Hey, everyone. I was just passing by. I thought I’d tell her you two are here. Anyway, I’d better go before I’m too late.”

Tyler runs to him and embraces him again. “Bring me chocolate.”

“If Uncle Michael tells me you’ve eaten dinner.”

“I will.” Billy left in his van. He wasn’t used to showing emotions to people. Maria was the only one he trusted enough to shed tears for. And now that she’s gone, he’d not be crying anymore.

Liz and Isabel place the flowers on the grave, careful not to trample on the petals Billy had already scattered. “Hey, honey. Liz just got leave from the university, so we only got in yesterday. We met your boy again. He’s grown so much! And I know you must know and you’re already freaking out. Spaceboy and Billy are living in the same house! I wonder what Michael had to do to make Billy agree.”

Liz was smiling all the time Isabel was speaking. She missed Maria, but she understood life now. There was a serenity about her that she never had before. “I know you’re very happy with what’s going on, Maria. Everyone’s getting along. Isabel is so close to being a mom with Jesse all over her, and I’m deliberating on what to do about me and Max.” Liz paused and sighed. “I wish you were here, Maria!”

Isabel embraced Liz. She knew Liz was so confused, has been since Maria’s death, and even more so now that she had to decide on moving forward with Max. Liz was at a tight spot, because she watched how Maria and Michael struggled and failed, and knew that the reason they were torn apart was the threat of a destiny that she faced with Max to. “Michael, I’ll take Liz to the car for a while. I don’t think she’s as ready for this as I supposed.”

Tyler watched as his Aunt Isabel led Aunt Liz away and followed them a short distance. He then saw a butterfly playing with him, and he ran to catch it. Soon, floating a couple of feet off the ground. Michael saw his son suddenly lose touch with the ground, and he glanced around. There were no people in the area but it was still dangerous to use powers out in the open. He ran over and grasped Tyler at the waist and pulled him down. “Tyler, I told you not to levitate in public.”

“Sorry, daddy.” He felt a thrill go up his spine again. He may never get used to the sheer refreshing beauty of being called father.

“Now stay here and play without flying.” Michael walked back to Maria’s grave and sat down. “Hi, Blondie. I want to tell you that I am so proud of our son. He’s the most beautiful child I’ve ever seen. I only regret that he didn’t look like you. Yes, contrary to Liz’s quick escape tactics, I am aware that the brown hair and eyes make him look like me. His features, jaw, eyebrows, body structure, everything mine. I’d have loved it if I could see a little girl who looked exactly like you, but Tyler is still the most perfect child I can imagine. His values are astounding. For the way he raised Tyler, I know I’d be thankful to Billy forever.” The sound of screeching tires brought his head up and at that moment, he knew he was too late. He stood up and began to run. The car jumped over an island and was uncontrollably heading directly at Tyler. From seemingly out of nowhere a body appeared beside Tyler and lifted him away at that split second. The car careened but managed to speed away.

The woman who saved his son had her back to him. She was assuring herself that he was fine. Michael stood there, his knees almost too weak to support him. Tyler saw him and immediately flung himself at him and Michael stooped and embraced the boy tightly, hardly believing that he was all right. Michael’s eyes rose to meet those of the woman who saved his son.

Chocolate eyes drank in the face that he never thought he would see again. A rise of exultation grew within him. They stare at each other for a long time before her image wavered before him, and she vanished.

Michael would never forget that moment. Her eyes were so clear in his mind. Love. Anger. Regret. Sadness.

Eyes so green he could have drowned.
 

Michael handed the boy over to Liz and Isabel. “Take him home. I have an unfinished business to take care of.”

Isabel held the boy close to her. All she saw was the car careening close to her nephew.  Michael took them home. When Tyler started asking him what was wrong, Isabel shushed the boy.

They arrived home, and Michael ruffled Tyler’s hair. And then he went up to the room Billy assigned to him and took out his wallet, staring at Maria’s picture. He closed his eyes and rested his fingers on her smile.

Michael opened his eyes to a glass domed room full of plants all around. A waterfall cascaded in one end and about a dozen variety of birds were flying and walking all around. She was standing by the waterfalls, looking astoundingly lovely in an off while long dress. “Maria.”

She turned around, and he caught his breath at the sight of her eyes once more. They were dull and empty, as though seeing him hurt her. A look of betrayal immediately crossed her face and her image once again wavered.

“Wait! Maria, don’t do this to me.”

He held his breath, not knowing if she will decide to stay or if she will leave him once again. The blue lights faded, and she stood there quietly, staring at him, waiting for him to speak. He found his mouth suddenly too dry to say anything, but he was aware of her need to hear him. He swallowed hard.

“Sit down.”

She looked around and walked towards a marble bench at the center of the dome. “Why did you follow me, Michael?”

He stood closer to her, and she was intimidated. He was so tall in this position. Michael understood the workings of her mind. Slowly, deliberately, he knelt down in front of her so their eyes would meet levelly. “There’s something I don’t know. How, Maria?” he asked softly. “Five years. Billy buried you five years ago.”

She was uncomfortable with him so close to her. She pulled away. “I can’t answer you.”

“Don’t be so cold.”

“Michael... let it go.”

“Do you think I can?!”

She turned to him, eyes brilliant with tears. “You have to!”
 
“Not until you tell me what I want to know!”

“I can’t answer you, because I don’t know! I don’t know what I’m doing here, Michael. I don’t know why you can see me, or why I can hold my son. I don’t know anything!”

Michael shook his head. Maria looked so confused, so wild. He pulled her into his arms. “What are we going to do about our son? How could you sign the boy over to Billy, Maria? I wanted him,” he could not keep the accusation out of his voice.

All the anger and resentment she had been keeping for five years boiled over. Very softly, she said to him, “I’ve begun to think of him as a Darden long before he was born.” She stood up and walked away.

Michael’s jaw locked and he grabbed her arm. “Don’t you ever say that!”

“You have no right to tell me what to say! You left me, remember? YOU left ME. I cried for you so many nights…”

“We agreed that destiny is too strong,” he answered helplessly.

“I needed you.”

Michael didn’t answer. Perhaps this was what she needed. At least he knew she existed. At least he knew as long as she felt pain, the love was still fresh in her mind.

Her tears were running down her cheeks, but she was not ashamed. She’d needed to cry for years, but she never let herself. It was time she let go.

“All those months of pain. All those hours I was reaching out to you, but you never once came. And that day—I needed you to comfort me. I needed you to tell me that we’ll find each other again, Michael. I needed you to hold me while I slip away. I wanted you… I wanted you to kiss me and take my last breath away…”

Michael stared at her and understood her anguish. He needed all those too. And his stubborn pride had kept him away. He let her die without a lover’s touch.

Their eyes held the other’s as Isabel’s voice broke through their shared dream. “Michael, wake up! Wake up!”

Michael blinked at the sound of Isabel’s voice repeating his name over and over, frantically. “Iz…”

“What happened there, Michael? You can’t freak me out like that!” she scolded. “I come in here and you don’t respond to me. I thought you were—“

“Isabel, I saw her,” he rasped.

“Who, Michael?”

“Maria.”

“You still dream of her?” she asked softly. “Michael—“

He shook his head. “It wasn’t a dream. I… I purposely sought her out.”

“Dreamwalk?”

Michael shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is that I went to sleep wanting to speak to her, and I did. Isabel, Maria is alive. I don’t know how or why, but she is. She saved Tyler.”

“Michael, it can’t be. She—They all saw her die.”

He slammed his hands forcefully down on the bed. “Don’t you think I know that? Isabel, even I saw it. But I wasn’t dreaming earlier. It was Maria, Isabel.”

She licked her lips. She didn’t know how to deal with Michael like this. She suspected that if she told him that she would always stay alive in his heart and in his dreams, he would be really pissed. “I’ll call Max,” was all she said before leaving the room.

~~~

Maria lay on Tyler’s bed, singing a lullaby softly with the child in her arms. She made sure that Billy was out before she began her song, because he would panic at the sight of her, and Maria knew that he did not deserve that. She needed him to move on with his life. Sometimes she even regretted pulling him into the complexities of hers.

Tyler had fallen asleep but Maria continued to sing to him and stroke his hair. She missed this aspect of being a mother. She was never allowed to watch her baby’s growth from within the circle of her arms. The door opened and she quickly glanced up. Michael was staring at her. She became conscious of the sudden smallness of the room when he entered. This was her real family. The father sat beside her and her baby. She motioned for him not to speak. “I cannot pull my arms from under him without waking him up.”

Michael leaned down to lift Tyler away from her. His arms brushed her and she caught her breath. Maria stood up and Michael placed Tyler gently down on the bed. They exited the room and entered Maria’s untouched one. “You were beautiful. I regret that I wasn’t able to see you like that when he was born.”

“Don’t regret it,” she answered quietly. “I was much worse by that time. I would not have wanted you to have seen those months.”

“It would have been worth it to be with you.” He was closer to her by now. Just a few inches forward and their bodies would touch.

“We can’t do this.”

“We can’t not do this. I love you.”

They were standing so close, and they felt that indescribable pull towards the other. Michael saw a tear threatening to fall from Maria’s eye, and he caught it with his finger. Immediately upon touching his skin to hers, he pulled her in his arms in an almost desperate move. They kissed each other hungrily. All the pain, passion and love that have been stored for five years were brought to the fore. They fell back on the bed and loved each other in the only way available to them.

They didn’t even notice that they were both crying all the while.
 

~~~

Part 4

Michael wrapped his arms around Maria’s waist as she looked out the window. “I don’t regret it.”

“I still don’t know what I am,” she told him. “Why am I here? Michael, what am I?”

They both knew he would not answer that question. He dipped his head to kiss her neck. “I will find out, Maria. I swear… God, I love the feel of you in my arms.”

“Michael, you can’t let the others know. Please. Not until I’ve found out everything. I can’t get… involved.” She found it ironic that now that she’s the one scared of attachments when he was ready.

“And us, Maria?”

“There can’t be an us,” she whispered. “There never should have been an us. I learned that now. Michael, the reason our life must have been so f-ucked up was because we never listened. We can’t ever be together. We couldn’t then and we can’t now.”

Michael saw the logic in Maria’s statement. He caught her face in his hands and pulled her close for a long kiss. “I’m sorry for not being there. I wanted—“

She hushed him with a finger to his lips. “I love you. I don’t care about all the stupid mistakes back then.”

Michael touches her features. “We’ll find a way.” He kisses her softly on the lips. “Until then we have to try to stay apart. That kiss has to last us until we find a solution,” he said and stood up.

“Wait.” Maria kissed him long and hard at the lips. She pulled away and patted his chest. “I needed some as reserve. Go.”

Maria washed her face in the sink, and went back to Tyler’s room. She smiled when she saw him curled on the bed, sucking his thumb in his sleep. Gently she pulled away his hand from his mouth and toweled it dry. She kissed his forehead and felt a familiar rush of love.

“It won’t hurt anyone.” She lay beside him and pulled him into her arms again. Blissfully she fell asleep with her son cradled against her.

~~
 

Isabel and Liz arrived from a trip to the mall. Isabel bought a whole new wardrobe and she noticed Liz looking upset by her purchases.

“Liz, you do understand that I need these clothes, don’t you?” Liz nodded. “Then why the look?” She shook her head. “Come on, Liz. You can tell me.”

“I—It’s been five years, Isabel.”

“Oh honey, I know that. I thought you already found your peace and accepted it.”

“That’s just it.” Liz answered, as they entered Billy’s house. “It’s been five years, and—but I just—I want to wear new clothes again. I want to go out. I know Maria would be disapp—“

“Liz!” Isabel laughed and embraced her friend. “You’re crazy! Maria disappointed that after five years you want to stop mourning??”

Liz smiled at Isabel. “I’ve accepted that Maria’s gone. I mean, finally. I guess I took my time, huh?” They climbed the stairs to put the bags in their room. “Hey, let’s go check on Tyler first. Michael’s nowhere around. I thought he was going to stay with him.”

Isabel turned to open the door to Tyler’s room. “Michael probably took Tyler with him. I mean, he’d never leave his son alone.”

“You’re right. Come on.” Isabel closed the door and she and Liz both entered their rooms.

Liz stared at herself in the mirror and smiled. Grinning, she walked towards her closet and removed the clothes there. One by one she raised them up for inspection. Not two minutes later, she was sitting on the bed, looking sadly at all the clothes in the floor with distaste. There was a knock on the door and she hurriedly answered it. It was Isabel, bearing a bag from the mall.

“You know, Liz, I didn’t buy all those for me.”

Liz took the bag and looked at the contents. “Isabel! Thank you.” She embraced her friend and closed the door, trying the clothes on pair by pair.

Isabel stared at the door on her face. She was happy that Liz finally decided to stay with her. She would have missed two sisters if Liz decided to take her vows.  She felt the urge to check on Tyler. Who knew what trouble called Michael away? There was always the possibility that Michael left his son because of an emergency.

Isabel opened the door to Tyler’s room, smiling. The smile faded at once and her heart skipped a couple of beats.

“Liz! Liz!” She cried, panicking.

She heard Liz running. The woman on the bed rose at once, awakened by her voice.

“Isabel,” she said, surprised. She didn’t know what to do. Tyler was disturbed by Isabel’s yelling and woke up crying. Maria took him in her arms. “Hello, Liz.” Maria smiled at her best friend, who only just arrived. Liz closed her eyes tightly and opened them again.

“Hey, what are you two doing there? Why is Tyler crying?”

Maria heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs and the sound of Billy’s voice. She immediately hid inside the child’s bathroom, leaving Tyler on the bed. Billy entered the room and lifted Tyler into his arms.

“What was it?” he asked the women.

“He must have had a bad dream.”

Billy walked around the room, rocking Tyler in his arms to calm him. “What was it, baby? Did you dream?” Tyler shook his head and mumbled incoherently. “Can I take him to your room, Isabel? I just took the sheets off my bed to change before I left. Tyler should be in different surroundings right now.”

“Sure, Billy.”

Billy and Tyler were in Isabel’s room when Tyler suddenly reared up in Billy’s arms. He pointed to a framed picture of Maria on the dresser. Billy smiled and showed him the picture. “That’s mommy, Tyler.”

“Nooo.”

“Yes, it is, Tyler.”

“Lady.”

“Mommy.”

Tyler shook his head. “Mommy looks different. This is the lady in my room.”

Billy’s forehead creased and he took the picture and Tyler to Maria’s room. He looked around and saw that a child would almost not recognize the sudden difference in Maria’s looks. Isabel’s picture of Maria was taken when Maria was still healthy, and all of Billy’s pictures of his wife were taken when she was already heavy with Tyler and very ill.

Isabel entered Maria’s room. “I was wondering where you two went.”

Billy looked at Isabel worriedly. “Tyler claims that Maria is the lady he sees in his room every night.”

Isabel shook her head. There was a reason why they saw Maria, and no matter how much Billy knew already, she wasn’t sure if Maria would want Billy to know everything. “That can’t be, Tyler. Okay, listen to Aunt Isabel, honey.”

“No!”

“I’m worried. Where’s Michael? Maybe he can talk to Tyler.”
 

~~

Billy touched the framed picture of Maria on his desk. Since Tyler pointed at it in Isabel’s room, the pain and memories he had long thought buried came flooding back full force. He’d spent hours remembering the feel of her in his arms, the sound of her voice, and the picture of her smile. Whereas before remembering her gave him a bittersweet longing, now it brought him much more than that. Today that longing was overshadowed by a rush of guilt.

His finger traced the smiling lips caught frozen in the photograph. “I never imagined that when we’re finally together, we’ll be torn apart by something as lasting as this. Love isn’t enough to describe the pull I felt towards you from the very first moment I saw you. But now, I don’t know what I’m feeling now. This woman has me under some sort of spell.” He softly chuckled. “No, not that sort of spell. She’s no temptress like you. No one will every affect me the way you did. Anyway, I’ll fight this, Maria. I promised you that you’d be the only one. And I’ll be true to that. I miss you.” Billy drew out his wallet and took another picture from behind the one of Maria and Tyler. It was of a lovely woman with red hair and a sweet smile. “You would have loved her if you met her. Such a generous spirit.” He inserted the picture behind Maria and Tyler’s again. “But she can’t compare to you.”

~~
 

“Are you sure she’ll be here?” Liz asked. “This place is so public.” Tyler’s hand was clutched in hers as they walked down the mall.

“Of course, Liz. I mean, we just saw her. I’m sure she’ll want to clarify what’s happening with us. And the mall is the best place to do that because no one will think that a ghost or whatever she is now is walking among the people here.”

“Toyland!” Tyler pulled her aunts towards the shop.

They followed Tyler, whispering to each other. “Did you bring your credit cards?”

Tyler looked at the variety of toy airplanes on display. Isabel and Liz grinned as they watched over him. Liz’s attention was caught by a monkey with cymbals. “Isabel, look at this. It’s so cute. It looks like Billy!” Isabel burst out laughing. “Buy it. It’d be our thank you to Billy for letting us stay in his place while we’re visiting Tyler.”

Isabel gave her her credit card and turned around.  “Liz, where’s Tyler? Tyler!”

“Oh no!” Liz ran down the isle and looked for him everywhere. “Where is he?” After several minutes of searching, they decided to report the loss to the customer service. Liz and Isabel waited at the office for someone to tell them where he might be.

“Anyone who’s found a lost boy wearing a Yankees’ shirt and blue jeans, please take him to customer service.”

A couple of minutes later, they came, “I’m very disappointed at the two of you.”

“Maria!”